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December, 2006



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December 31 - Garrison Keillor is my favorite essayist.  Here's why.
     To give an excerpt here would be an injustice.  Go read a wordsmith at work.

December 31 - Thanks to Bob Dunn for being on top of a big one.

One of two companies vying for the right to build the controversial Trans Texas Corridor now plans to widen State Highway 36 to four lanes, at its own cost, and then charge motorists a toll to use the road. 

San Antonio construction company Zachry American Infrastructure has received the blessing of Brazoria County commissioners to pursue the project in that county with the Texas Department of Transportation. 

And according to The Facts newspaper, Fort Bend County Judge Bob Hebert has met with Zachry American representatives and wrote a Dec. 18 letter to TxDOT expressing an interest in allowing the company to expand Highway 36 and turn it into a toll road in Fort Bend County as well.

     Oh Good Lord, County Bob Hebert will take a meeting with anyone who might give him a kickback, er campaign contribution.  The campaign contribution and expenditure reports are due January 15th.  I'll post them here. 
     I sure do hope that Judge Hebert doesn't expect me to pay a toll to get to Needville.  Plus, I'm wondering where this toll will end -- Sealy? Highway 36 goes all the way to Abilene, but if it's all the same to you, I'll get off in Rising Star.  
     I cannot believe that we're selling our roads to people in Spain and our military to people in China.  Damn Republicans. 

December 31 - I'm sitting here trying to think of a logical explanation of why the President of the United States did not attend the funeral of Gerald Ford.  Why would he not leave "the ranchette" (any man who is scared of horses doesn't have a damn ranch) to attend the funeral of a President - a Republican one at that?
     The best I can come up with is that he's on a two week binge and they can't sober him up. 
     That, or he took a wiz on the electric fence again and is walking kinda funny.

You are thinkin' too hard on this one. I figure G.W. wasn't thru  playin' "Army" in his neato armored vehicle!

Who knows now that it is out that he has one right there in Crawford, some Texas family that lost a child in Iraq this week might question the use of an armored vehicle as storm cellar by the man who chose to be in Crawford and chose to send their kiddos to Iraq.

Happy New Year!


December 30 - You know how the GOP is fighting each other in Fort Bend?
     Well, the entire State of Kansas is doing the same thing.

Republicans lost their U.S. House and Senate majorities and 350 seats in state legislatures across the country. The early post-election Kansas experiences show that a recovery could be difficult because the splits inside the party between social conservatives and moderates will not be easily healed. 

“I think the divide between the moderates and conservatives is deepening rather than closing," said Kansas State University professor Joseph Aistrup. "This type of politics is continuing into our future, at least another four years.”

     And, it seems like a similar fight may break out in Austin over Tom Craddick.  It's pretty clear that GOP insiders are trying to replace Craddick with Pitts.  Craddick is going to be one mad little tyrant.

Hey Susan, 

Those crazy GOPers are going to spend all the profits from their Lincoln Day Dinner on lawyers.  Maybe ol' Abe will rise from the dead to settle this civil war between the Repugs.   Too bad, they all seemed like such nice people. :-)


December 30 - Support the Troops!

Only 35 percent of the military members polled this year said they approve of the way President Bush is handling the war, while 42 percent said they disapproved. The president’s approval rating among the military is only slightly higher than for the population as a whole. In 2004, when his popularity peaked, 63 percent of the military approved of Bush’s handling of the war. While approval of the president’s war leadership has slumped, his overall approval remains high among the military. 

Just as telling, in this year’s poll only 41 percent of the military said the U.S. should have gone to war in Iraq in the first place, down from 65 percent in 2003. That closely reflects the beliefs of the general population today — 45 percent agreed in a recent USA Today/Gallup poll.

     I know I generally stick with local politics, but if I see one more "We support President Bush and our Troops" yardsign, I'm getting out of my car and taking this article to the front door with a demand, "Make up your mind, People!  One or the other.  You can't have both.  Either you support Bush or the troops.  Which is it?  Here, I have some leftover duct tape to mark-out the one you don't support.  Let's get crackin'.  I have lots of work to do."
     And don't even get me started on young Republicans who won't enlist. 
     Here's an idea.  Make copies of the Army Times article and stick it on the windshields of people who have both a W and a Support Our Troops sticker on their cars. 
     Okay, I know you people from foreign states don't know what I'm talking about.  Let me explain:  You know the 28% of people who still think Bush is a great President?  They all live in Sugar Land.  Seriously.  They do. 

Great idea! I am printing out copies of the article. I'll keep some in my glove box, along with my Car Talk (pronounced 'Cah Tawk' back in Boston) traffic violation notices (see here)  When I see the combo W and Support Our Troops stickers, I'll slap one on the windshield. I may even include a piece of duct tape...and if they are pahked lousy (likely) or have an SUV (very likely), they'll get one of Click and Clack's as well.


I sent letters to local papers in 2005 saying that people who had W stickers and and the "I Support the Troops" ribbons were hypocrits.  You either support one or the other.  Anyone who still has their W sticker on should have a "Pray for our Troops" ribbon cause God knows with him at the helm they need all the help they can get.



December 29 - It's still simmering, but this pot promises to boil over with a week or two.  Check out what Bob Dunn at Fort Bend Now has uncovered about our local GOP. 
     This is another little gift from Tom DeLay that just keeps on giving.

December 29 - No, no, she really said that.  No, seriously.  I couldn't make this up.  Fran Townsend, Homeland Security Advisor to George W Bush, waited until the end of the year to make the greatest statement ever uttered from a human mouth this entire whole year, and she saved it for CNN's Ed Henry ----

HENRY: You know, going back to September 2001, the president said, dead or alive, we're going to get him. Still don't have him. I know you are saying there's successes on the war on terror, and there have been. That's a failure.

TOWNSEND: Well, I'm not sure -- it's a success that hasn't occurred yet. I don't know that I view that as a failure.

     Day-um, Honey.  (There are times when damn needs to be a two-syllable word and this is one of those times.)
     Fran, Babe, the same could be said of Junior Janochek, Jr. and the $8,345 he's spent not winning the lottery.

We have a Texas friend who moved here to the foreign state of California.  She went around saying day-um for a long time before we knew what she was talking about.  We thought it was an odd take on a Harry Bellefonte song. Thank you for warning others about the syllable rule.


December 29 - Just in case you're locked-in for the bad weather tonight, here's some entertainment friends have sent.
     The Wall Street Journal lists best and worst ads for the year.  I agree with them.
     MSNBC does the same, but comes off as bland as .... well, as any night there's a substitute host for Keith Obermann. 
     And Very Funny Ads brings a few smiles.  But some of them are a little raw for Momma, so Momma don't click this.

December 29 - Bush finished four points behind Flesh Eating Virus.
     Okay, when only 27% of your own political party thinks you're a hero, it's time to learn to say, "my bad."

December 28 - I am often asked if I am related to Steve at White's Creek because I have linked to him for so long.  The answer is no, I am not.  I just think he's a good writer and an insightful guy.  Take today ..... 

President Bush says that "clearing brush and riding his mountain bike" helps him "clear his mind"...The obvious question is...."Of what?"

December 28 - Jim Pitts, the State Representative from the Texas Association of Business, has announced his candidacy for House Speaker as a "compromise candidate" between Craddick and McCall.  Yeah?  Compromise what? 
     Pitts is one of only 2 Reps with a 100% voting record with TAB.  100% of anything scares me, and when it's with Tom DeLay's old cronies, it scares me even more.
     One of my Austin friends remarked a few minutes ago, "We've often wondered how Pitts gets his suit on in the morning with all those strings attached to him."
     Pitts is just Craddick with strings instead of baggage.

December 28 - Okay, there’s a rumor going around that a bunch of 20 to 30-something Democratic bloggers are going to attend the Democratic State Executive Committee meeting in Austin next month, armed with flyers, copies of “Crashing the Gate,” and just slightly less attitude than Paris Hilton. 
     They are on a mission, by gawd. They are going to try to help the SDEC understand them and their progressive thoughts.
     Good on ‘em.
     It’ll be a trip down Memory Lane for a majority of the SDEC.  There was a dynamic shift in the SDEC at the last state convention.  Over 50% of them are new to the SDEC, and this is only their second meeting. 
     The SDEC members I know, and I know a few of them pretty damn well, have already read Crashing the Gate and couple of other books, too.  In spite of that, they are waiting in grinning anticipation for the rumored visit of the bloggers.
     I happened to overhear a couple of SDEC members – who are damned close to being 60-somethings – grin and say, “Hey, they’re just like us forty years ago, only they have keyboards whereas we had megaphones.”       
     I applaud the bloggers for gumption.  But I also counsel them that understanding is a two-way street.  You might be asked how many SDEC meetings you personally have attended before you decided to attend this one.  You might also consider giving the new SDEC members a chance to get their rumps in a chair before you attempt to light a fire under it.  They may surprise you.
     You might keep in mind that some of these SDEC members were in Chicago in 1968 and had their heads bashed.  Some of them marched with Dr. King.  Some of them went to jail.  Some of them went to Nam.  Some burned their bras.  Some fed and clothed union members on strike.  Some of them have more passion for this Party than you can imagine. 
     You did not invent progressivism.  Some of these guys were liberals when it was dangerous to be one.  No, I’m serious.  Physically dangerous.  You might want to thank them for making blogging safe for you.  
     Maybe the new SDEC members should bring their megaphones to be understood, too.  Maybe they could teach bloggers how to end a war, get a Voting Rights Act passed through Congress, lower the voting age, and force a President to resign.  Blogs haven’t been as effective as megaphones in those areas. 
     The gate was crashed at the state convention.  Electing Glen Maxey as chairman was not the gate – electing a new SDEC was.  You gotta watch those sly old hippies.  They may be wearing bras now and most of them have quit saying “groovy,” but they all still want to rump something.        

December 27 - The Quorum Report (subscription only) brings some good news for Texas Democrats.


Poll tested Texans, not likely voters

In another indicator of the shifting political climate, a poll released today by Montgomery & Associates shows that more Texans identify with the Democratic Party than the Republican Party.

In the poll, 45.1 percent of the respondents called themselves Democrats while 42.6 percent called themselves Republicans. This marks the first time in the poll’s three-year history that more people identified themselves as Democrats than as Republicans. Last year, the spread was 49.2 percent to 37.2 percent in favor of the Republicans. The year before that, the spread was 54.7 percent to 33.9 percent.

     Kronberg also reports that fewer Texans see themselves as Independents than ever before.  I guess we can thank Kinky for that.

     Heads-Up - my sources in Austin tell me to keep an eye on Brian McCall of Plano. It looks like it might be all over except for delivering the bad news to Craddick. 

     The only thing I know about McCall is that he ain't real particular about who he gets his picture taken with.  And that he probably ain't real scared of Craddick's retribution. 


December 27 - Somebody please tell her to hang around for the ransom money.

BERLIN (Reuters) - A 21-year-old German woman who did not feel like going to work at a fast food restaurant sent her parents a text message saying she had been kidnapped.

Police in the Bavarian town of Straubing said Wednesday they had launched a massive search throughout the region for the woman who disappeared on December 23 but turned up unscathed the following morning, saying the kidnapper had set her free.

A spokesman said the woman was questioned over the Christmas holiday and admitted she made up the story because she owed a colleague 25 euros ($32.9) and did not have the money to pay her debt. She now faces a fine of up to 1,000 euros.

     You know, if Darwin was right, how come there's still many dumb people around.

December 27 - Congratulations, Dr. Lisa.  You're getting one darned dandy mother-in-law.


December 27 - Just keeping you up to date on dirty money that eventually comes out of your pocket in the form of more expensive government services.
     In December, the Justice Department indicted Alaska State Rep. Tom Anderson [R] on charges that he accepted bribes from a lobbyist representing a private prison company.
     Turns out the unnamed prison company is the Houston-based Cornell Companies.
     It seems the Cornell Companies PAC has a long tradition of contributing to members of the Texas delegation.
     They also have given a lot of money to state and local candidates in Texas.
     Y'all really need to keep any eye on the prison being built here.  There's some big bucks involved and we don't have any self-sacrificing public servants making the plans.

December 26 - The Dallas Morning News is doing at end of the year countdown for Texan of the Year.
     Tom DeLay got nominated, but not in a
way we'll be reading about on his blog.

Aside from the Texan-in-Chief at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., the one Republican most responsible for this year's calamitous GOP Election Day defeat was Tom DeLay. Though he wasn't standing for re-election on Nov. 8, Sugar Land's native son was the embodiment of what the Republican Congress had become – and what the American people decisively rejected.

     Read it all.  It gets better.
     And then to add pounds to wide hips, it appears that even The Conservative Union doesn't want him.  (Hey, I don't vouch for anything Bob Novak says; I just report it - especially when he's snarling at Tom DeLay.)

In a Christmas Eve column for the Chicago Sun-Times, conservative columnist Robert Novak claims he has heard of potential resignations of board members at the American Conservative Union, should former GOP Texas Congressman Tom DeLay, who was indicted on state campaign finance charges, be hired as a lobbyist for the organization.

     Oops.  Now his homies are all down on him.
     And, according to sources who can make a chart, his website isn't doing all that well, either. 

December 26 - Those who have been hanging around for a while know that I oppose concealed handguns.  I think you ought to have to wear it in a holster so everybody can see it, or do like me and just carry your shotgun with you.
     It's the concealed part that I don't like.  I want to know who's packing heat around me in the Stop-N-Go, the elevator, the art museum, or the moving picture show.  I want to have the opportunity to stand or sit where I am not in the crossfire.  I don't think that's asking too much.
     By the way, have you ever noticed that the people who make the concealed handgun laws will not let you carry a handgun anywhere they might be.  You cannot carry at the courthouse or the balcony of the State Lege.  I think that defeats the whole purpose of carrying.  If we'd allow guns on the balcony overlooking the State Lege, we'd have a helluva lot better laws.
     But I digress.
     What brought all this up is a real scary statistic in the Dallas Morning News this morning.

Texans who are 55 or older are more likely to get concealed handgun permits than those who are in their 20s, 30s and 40s, according to Texas Department of Public Safety statistics. That falls in line with national surveys that indicate seniors are more likely than any other age group to be gun owners. In Texas, 42 percent of those who have concealed handgun permits are 55 or older. Texans who are 60 or older have about 25 percent of the permits issued, statistics show.

     You might consider that fact the next time you smart-off to the Wal-Mart greeter or park in a handicapped zone for just a few minutes.  Old people wouldn't think twice before they plug your tires or your kneecap. 
     And you've been getting on my nerves a lot lately , too.  Might want to watch that.

Got a great website there Lady. I am from Galveston County and Nick Lampson was my congressman prior to the Tom Delay debacle. Unfortunately for Tom that little mistake also put me in his district.

When Nick came back to run against Tom DeLay that made it a personal vendetta for me and all the bikers in that district. We sweated blood to win that race but victory would have been so much sweeter had Tom DeLay stayed in the race.

I have one correction to make on your article about the Concealed Carry Law. You can carry a concealed handgun anywhere in the capitol you wish to. I helped Senator Jerry Patterson with that Bill. Don't know if you are aware but last session I helped write and pass HB 823, giving you the right to carry a concealed weapon in your personal vehicle without a permit.

Politics is the best game in town once you learn the rules and we are very good at it.

State Chair
Texas Motorcycle Rights Association


December 26 - Shelley Sekula-Fibs bought me a Christmas present. 
     I hope you like it because she used your money to buy it. 
     She mailed me a four page, full color, no expense spared "Report" of what she will be doing in Congress these last 8 days. 
     I scanned the front page for you because I knew you'd want to see it.  (Click the little one to see the big one.) 
     It's got nice full color pictures of her with with Denny Hastert, Ted Poe, Kevin Brady and Michael DeBakey, all suitable for framing. 
     There's also a picture of some guy in a space suit flying around in what appears to be - uh, space.  A good working definition of irony would be that Shelley's not in that picture.
      It also has a decorative tear-off card of important federal government phone numbers, suitable for your refrigerator door. 
     Lucky me.

I wish I could take credit for this --- I can't.
     I do take comfort in knowing that there are other like minds in this area.
     And......I sure second the motion.  This was in this morning's only newspaper in town  -- in Houston.  In the letters to the Editor the following:

I nominate Shelley Sekula-Gibbs for the "Congress Member Who Wasted the Most Taxpayer Dollars in the Shortest Period of Time Award." 

This Republican was elected Nov. 7 in a costly special election to serve as District 22 congress member for the few weeks before the new Congress is sworn in in January. Her brief tenure includes the long congressional holidays for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year. What a waste! 

Recently, I arrived home to find something very unpleasant in my mailbox. I received a slick, full-color and thus expensive, four-page newsletter " ... prepared, published and mailed at taxpayer expense" (according to the newsletter) describing work she has done and causes she has supported in her brief time in the House. I didn't know whether to laugh at the absurdity or cry for the complete waste of taxpayer dollars. She has not had, and will not have, any impact on anything occurring in Congress during her brief tenure. All these taxpayer funds were wasted for nothing except the self-promotion of Sekula-Gibbs. 

In 2008 District 22 residents will remember, or will be reminded, of the taxpayer dollars wasted by this (expected) candidate. 

Nassau Bay

p.s.  Do you reckon she (Ms.Dabney) wrote something else in there where it says (expected) maybe it said (expletive) before the editing. 



December 23 - Unless something big breaks, I'll see you guys after Christmas.  Peace.

December 22 - Okay, so a Hill staffer gets fired for trying to hire a hacker to break into his college's computer system to raise his GPA.
What school did this paragon of virtue graduate from?  Texas Christian University.
     Guess he missed the Christian part.

December 22 - My friend Steve over at White's Creek sends New Year Greetings I know he won't mind me sharing.  Steve tells a good story, so treat yourself to spending a little time there.  One of my recent favorites.

Thanks for the "Gift."
And a big happy birthday to Momma!
Does Ms. Elliot just have a burning desire to be sued?
And the local GOPers; bless their little, pea-pickin' hearts.

December 22 - First things first - Happy Birthday, Momma. 
     Momma is having her 11th annual 70th birthday party today.  She decided that her 70th birthday party was the best ever, so she just keeps having it over and over every year.  Why tinker with a working plan? 


December 21 - This is a serious note.  I just learned that Janice Wile in the District Clerk's office has been informed that her services will no longer be needed after December 31st.
     I am acquainted with Janice because I frequent the courthouse, and I once served on the grand jury where Janice was in charge of carrying the indictments to the clerk's office.  I respect her highly for her professionalism, efficiency with a smile, and honesty.
     If you've ever served on a grand jury, you know Janice.  I have never heard anything but praise from the public about her.
     Her new boss, Annie Elliott, let it be known that Janice does not have a job after December 31st.
     Janice is 9 months from full retirement, having served the county for 22 years.  She has served this county well and now she's being tossed out like rubbish.  It tells you much about Annie Elliott and the type of boss she will be.
     If there is another opening in the county where Janice can work for 9 months, she can keep her retirement and insurance.  She will be an asset to any county office. 

Janice Wile is a supervisor.  She insists that those she supervises work for the taxpayers.  We need a million more like her.  Thank you for sticking up for her.


December 21 - And the hits just keep on rollin'.
     Poor GOP Party Chairman Gary Gillen is surrounded by the Moses Rose faction.  They don't want their names revealed, they resigned when confronted, and most of them appear to be just out walking the streets.

The treasurer of a controversial political action committee – apparently created to operate what has been the Fort Bend County Republican Party’s top fund-raiser – resigned on Wednesday. 

“A.D. has resigned. I replaced him as treasurer, with me,” county GOP Chairman Gary Gillen said on Thursday. He referred to precinct chairman A.D. Muller, who originally served as treasurer of Fort Bend Republican P.A.C.

     The line in the sand got drawn and Gary crossed over before looking behind himself and seeing 12 acres of empty.
     As we say in Texas, bless his heart.  He sure didn't catch no lucky.

December 21 - So Tom DeLay is going to have one of those pay-per-view blogs.  It’s gonna cost $52 a year. 
     In comparison, Harvey Kronberg costs $275 a year and so does Roll Call.  I guess you get what you pay for.
     But, here’s my favorite part.

For an annual fee of $52, members are promised “insider information” on Congress and “updates on the ways of combating the plans of the radical left and their associates in the left-wing media elite.”

A spokeswoman for Mr. DeLay, Shannon Flaherty, said the group was sorting hundreds of applications and would withhold approving anyone’s membership until “we’ve checked the references.” She said the group was concerned that liberals would try to “infiltrate” the group.”

     Look, there’s no nice way to say this, so I’ll just say it.  Tom DeLay is a money slut.  He would take the gold out of Grandma’s teeth.  He will do anything for money.  You cannot even imagine the things he’s done for a fine dinner, a cigar, or a free airplane ride.  If there was money in going to the grocery store nakkid, he’d do that, too.
     If I offer up $53., he’ll sell me a subscription.  He don’t care diddle squat about liberals – he cares about money. 
     Infiltrate, my patootie.  References, my big blue patootie.
     References?  This is the man who tried to sell Phony Congressional Awards to anybody with $500.  I remember reading that some porn dealer paid the $500 and got DeLay’s Award. 
     I swear, when gall goes to $87 a barrel, he’ll have the market cornered. 

     Tell ya what – if there’s anybody willing to make a bet that I won’t get a subscription within a month, I’ll take your money from ya.  And I ain’t even all that smart. 

December 19 - Okay, so Jack Abramoff's 2001 Christmas list has been revealed ....

Then-House Majority Whip Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) was listed as the intended recipient of a $250 box of Godiva chocolates

     See, here's the deal - I thought you had to die to get $250 box of Godiva chocolate.  I thought that if you led a good life, never hurt anybody, and didn't lie more than necessary, that St. Peter gave you a $250 box of Godiva chocolate when you arrived. 
     My friend Elizabeth says the other way you can get a $250 box of Godiva chocolates is if your husband does something real bad.  With your bridesmaid.
     Either way, you have to do something really good or something really bad.  Knowing Tom, it was not good.

December 19 - Yeah, but what if they were really cute lesbians?
     Senator Sam Brownback (R., Obsessionville) has worked himself into a tizzy about a judicial nominee attending a lesbian wedding.  Just attending.  Maybe not
even having a good time.  Perhaps not even bringing a gift.  
     Maybe the judge was just accidentally in the same room as a lesbian wedding.  It happens to me all the time. 

DAVENPORT, Iowa (AP) -- Sen. Sam Brownback, who wants to champion social conservatives in the presidential race, said Tuesday he wants a Senate panel to re-question a judicial nominee who attended a same-sex union ceremony.

Brownback, a Kansas Republican, said he wants Michigan state judge Janet Neff to testify about her role in the 2002 Massachusetts ceremony, her legal views on same-sex unions and her ability to be impartial if called upon to rule on such cases.

Neff's nomination to a federal district court is among a dozen or so now stalled in the Senate, a logjam in part due to Brownback's questions about Neff's attendance at a lesbian commitment ceremony. The Senate Judiciary Committee has already approved her nomination.

     Wanna know what?  I think Brownback just wants another excuse to talk dirty.  I think his questions will have more to do with the honeymoon than the wedding.  That's my opinion, and it's a good one.

December 19 - Fred Barnes being the honored hired-gun guest speaker at the local Mired-In-Mess Republican Lincoln Day Dinner, was just too much fun for Mark of View from 22 fame.
     Mark sent me this.  It was so long that I had to create a new page for it.  I think you'll have some fun reading it.  Last year, they had toe-sucking Dick Morris as their honored speaker.  I didn't think they could go downhill from there, but they did.
     By the way, Mark is making noises about a new blog. 

December 18 - Okay, somebody's talking in the PBS&J political corruption case.

Sentencing has been delayed until Feb. 16 for the three former PBS&J employees who pleaded guilty to their roles in a $36 million embezzlement scheme at the engineering firm.

Ex-Chief Financial Officer W. Scott DeLoach of Aventura and former subordinates Maria M. Garcia of Hialeah and Rosario Licata of Davie originally had been scheduled to be sentenced today by senior U.S. District Judge James Lawrence King.

     Our County Commissioners have to be a little bit nervous, being as how they are Pavement Princesses when it comes to taking money from anybody who wants a service in return.

December 18 - Well lookie here.  The Republican Party of Texas, that bastion of self-righteousness, just entered into a negotiated settlement with the Federal Elections Commission to pay a $7,500 fine for Failure to Disclose $235,000 in Contributions.  PDF format of the agreement right here.
     To add stink to this garbage,
Christopher Maska was the treasurer of the Republican Party of Texas when the Party's FEC reports got "unreported."
     Hummm.... would that be the same Christopher Maska who is an administrative judge, president of the Texas Alliance for Life, and the ethics officer of the Texas Board of Education?  Could we be that lucky in the hypocrisy department?
     Ding!  Ding!  Ding!  Yes, we have a winner.  We are, in fact, that lucky!
     Maska wins a trip down Hypocrisy Lane with his rightwing buddies and two cartons of Can-O-Fraudulence in his favorite fragrance - Sweet Southern Sweat of Symbolism.
     On the other hand, a $7,500 fine for not reporting $235,000 in contributions is just the price of doing business when you're shooting for the big prize: a one-party government. 

December 18 - Awww, come on, don't be a spoil sport. They were just doing it to excite Rick Santorum.

Dog weddings called off on grounds of cruelty

NEW DELHI, Dec 17 (Reuters Life!) - A Hindu wedding ceremony of 18 dogs has been called off in India after hardline religious groups and animal rights activists said it was a mockery of the religion and cruel to the canines, a newspaper reported on Sunday.

     The event wppuld have been better than The Playboy Channel for Rick, but noooo....

December 18 - As if the local Republicans didn't have enough controversy over their Lincoln Day Dinner, it appears that their hired speaker, Fred Barnes (yeah well, he never heard of you either) has boogered-up on national teevee.

The sources also blasted the Weekly Standard's Fred Barnes, who appeared on the Dec. 14 edition of Special Report with Brit Hume, for implying a cover-up of Johnson's health. Referring to health updates on the senator, Barnes said, "There is a long history of the doctors reports about politicians from the president on down about doctor's reports being untrue. You really have to be wary of them... I'm not saying we -- anybody has told an untruth about Senator Johnson, but this does happen."

Comparing Johnson's condition and updates about it to that of Ronald Reagan and John F. Kennedy is not "appropriate." Barnes "implying a cover-up and then saying he's not" can "arouse suspicion" unnecessarily. Sources are calling Barnes' insinuation "false and irresponsible." They make clear that the attending physician of the Capitol, Admiral John Eisold, was with the Johnson family and the George Washington medical team from the beginning and has remained on top of the situation

     I'm here to promise you that this whole event is snakebit.  I wouldn't even get in the same zip code as it.  I'd be collecting 11-foot poles and a couple of life jackets.

December 17 - This time of year is usually as quiet as a worm's heartbeat around the courthouse.  Everybody pretty much minds their P's and Q's, recovers from the election season, and knocks-off early every day to do some Christmas shopping.
     Usually in December there are more Santa elves at the courthouse than good rumors and gossip.
     Not so much this year.
     Governor Rick Perry (I shiver just saying those words) is waaaaay behind schedule to appoint our new district court judge.  As usual, the Gov decided it would be better to let him appoint one than have the people elect one. 
     The Judge's School (attended by newly elected judges from the November election) was last week, and locals were hoping we'd have a judge to send to that school.
     So, we continue to wait.  And Lord knows from the names being tossed around, our new judge will need a judge school like you need ... oh, I dunno - oxygen.
     According to sources, the three top names being considered are Vicki Penak, Nina
Schaefer, and Jim Shoemake.  They have something in common - all three have been beaten in a GOP primary or stomped-on by the Republican Executive Committee.  So, we'll get a backdoor judge again.  Just like we got Cliff Vacek.  (Double shiver and cringe.)
     The district court hears both civil and criminal matters, but 80% of what this court hears will be criminals cases.  Only one of the three being considered has any criminal law experience, Nina Schaefer. 
     Penak caused a major split in the local GOP when Dubya appointed her to a judgeship while he was Governor.  More splitting is the last thing the local party needs right now.  Okay, so maybe a Biblical Litmus Test is the last thing they need, but Penak would be close to last.
     Poor Ole Shoemake came in third out of three in the GOP primary.  You gotta kinda admire a guy who goes for the gusto!      
     You can say one thing for Rick Perry - he's not the decider.
     You'll know when I know. 

December 17 - Kettle, meet pot.
     Tom DeLay recently called Martin Frost "a political has-been." 
     No, I'm serious.  It's in the newspapers and everything.

You might think that Tom DeLay, the former House GOP majority leader, is taking it pretty hard, watching his Republican majority disintegrate in Congress, seeing his Houston-area seat go to a Democrat and last week watching Texas Republican Rep. Henry Bonilla lose to Democrat Ciro Rodriguez. 

But no. 

DeLay still defends his hard-fought redistricting plan, at the root of so many of his problems, saying recently in a published report that redistricting succeeded because it “made a political has-been out of Martin Frost.” 

And what does Frost, of Dallas, a former Democratic congressman who represented portions of Tarrant County for 26 years, have to say about that? 

“I look forward to the day when Tom DeLay gets to spend some time as a guest of the government,” Frost said. DeLay is under indictment in Texas on charges of violating state election laws, and his former aides and associates have pleaded guilty to corruption in the Justice Department’s ongoing Jack Abramoff investigation. 

“There’s a very fine federal facility in southeast Fort Worth,” Frost, now a lobbyist, said with a chuckle of the prison in his former district. “That would be the ultimate irony."

     Hey, at least Martin Frost has a job.  Best we can figure, DeLay is unemployed and homeless.
     Update:  Donna Beth just reminded me that Martin's wife, Kathy, died of cancer several months ago.  She was a retired General in the Army.  I knew that, but had forgotten, so I removed a comment I made about him still living with his wife.

December 17 - The Dallas Morning News has a pretty cool article this morning about members of the State Lege using campaign funds for personal use. 
     Since they
only get paid about $25,000 a year, a lot of them use campaign money to live on.  That's understandable. However, a lot of them cross the line.
     Anybody who's been around for a while knows that the most corruption in campaign account spending is on the local level. 
     First off, the local guys don't have to file electronically so they can hide their expenditures from the viewing public.  Second off, the elected officials on commissioner courts across the state set the district attorney's salary, and contrary to popular belief, Texas district attorneys are not totally devoid of IQ points - especially when if comes to which side of the bread is buttered. 
     And, yes, even though I've moved to a new location, I'll still be posting the local campaign finance reports. 
I may have moved, but I'm still two shades meaner than the devil himself.  Moving didn't make me any nicer. 
     Which reminds me, there's a rumor going around that a few years back I made a county commissioner cry.  It's true and it's the proudest damn moment of my life.  I told everybody that I wanted that on my tombstone. 

December 16 - Yeah, I heard that even Wharton County Junior College turned it down.

The likelihood that the George W. Bush presidential library will be located at SMU has not been welcome news for at least one segment of the university community. A letter, dated December 16, from "Faculty, Administrators, & Staff" of the Perkins School of Theology to R. Gerald Turner, president of the Board of Trustees, is now circulating not only on the SMU campus but also among a wider academic community, urging the board to "reconsider and to rescind SMU's pursuit of the presidential library."

     I heard that Big Roy's Transmission School was hunting for a library.  Buck Pochek has been doing graduate work there, and he says that most days a couple of teachers show up sober.  If sobriety becomes a trend at Big Roy's, the Bush won't be able to have his library there either.

Juanita, I mean Susan,

As you may know, Baylor University is still trying to get the Bush library to locate in Waco.  But there is a local movement afoot to use the selected site for the Slobodan Milosevic Library because it would bring less shame to our city's tarnished reputation.  But the speculation is that since Waco has less to lose than Dallas' Highland Park or University Park, we are the natural choice.   

How sad is it that Waco is the first choice for something no one else wants?  How sad is it that Baylor hasn't figured it out yet? 


December 16 - Our friend Don H. sent us a link with the comment: "I can't tell if Tom will take the bait, but if Jesus' General manages to get a post up before they catch on then it will be the best moment of 'gotcha' since Colbert interviewed Westmoreland and asked him to name the Ten Commandments."
     Jesus' General applies to be a blogger for Tom by saying, 

I publish a fairly popular blog called Jesus' General. I'd like to guestblog for Mr. DeLay. I am not a homosexual.

     That seems to be fully qualified. 

December 15 - Things got a little fun at the Republican meeting last night.  I wasn't there, but Bob Dunn was
     It appears that local party chairman Gary Gillen thinks he's George Bush.  Even with the Executive Committee votes running 14 -35 against him, Gillen still thinks he's The Decider. 
     And, he had to come up with fibs to cover his fibs (sounding more and more like Dubya?) over what he signed and when he signed it.
     So, it appears that local Republicans will end up spending their vast fortune on lawyers.  And who will pay for Gillen and Mueller's lawyers?  Oops, I wonder if they'll announce that after Christmas, too.
     But, best of all ----    

Precinct Chairman Paul Ware told the crowd “I see a fly on the wall…and that fly belongs to the Democratic National Committee, and he’s listening to what’s happening. I hurt, and the party’s hurt. And that fly…is going to let the Democrats know what’s going on here tonight.”

     Hey, I don't know who the Democratic fly on the wall was, but hell yes we're enjoying this!

Precinct Chairman Paul Ware told the crowd “I see a fly on the wall…and that fly belongs to the Democratic National Committee, and he’s listening to what’s happening. I hurt, and the party’s hurt. And that fly…is going to let the Democrats know what’s going on here tonight.

WTH, this is a job for Tomboy's exterminating service.  I'll bet they catch some big roaches while they're at it. 



December 13 - Well, it comes to this.  Instead of whacking each other over the head with 11-foot poles (because they wouldn't touch each other with a 10-foot one), local GOP Chair Gary Gillen and Vice Chair Linda Howell are throwing paper at each other.
     Howell feels betrayed.  Gillen feels neutered.  They might as well get married and argue this like any normal people do.
     One of my favorite comments comes from Gillen, when he tries to explain why he reserved the
ballroom in his own name instead of the party's ---

“Simultaneously,” Gillen said, “I was dealing with issues resulting from the Congressional District 22 lawsuits, including subpoenas in both state and federal courts. Being faced with these challenges, I had to move forward and find a way to function with no risk to the Party.”

    Told ya he couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time.  No risk to the party?  Who ever said the local party was at risk?  Was that something on Fox News that the rest of us missed?  Good Lord, he's practicing law with an exterminating license. 
     If they expect Gillen to answer questions tomorrow night about why he did this, they better check him for one of those George Bush bulge and earpieces.

     Gillian wouldn't need Rove on the other end with a microphone.  Your average high school sophomore would help him.


December 13 - The Federal Elections Commission announced today that it reached a settlement with Bob Perry's Swift Boat Veterans for Truth (Yeah, right) for violating the federal campaign finance laws during the 2004 presidential election.
     The fine?  $299,500 Here's a PDF of the settlement agreement if you'd like to wallow in it for a while. Swiftboat Veterans and POWs for Truth
     So, amazingly, we have discovered that, in fact, the rules do apply to Bob Perry.  Thank goodness for science or we may never have known this.

December 13 - Described as "an earthquake" by the San Antonio newspaper, Ciro Rodriguez whipped Bush friend Henry Bonilla yesterday in Texas CD28, adding one more Democrat to Congress.
     San Antonio columnist
Jaime Castillo offers many explanations of Ciro's stunning victory, one of which is --

Perhaps already knowing that the election was slipping away, Bonilla launched a negative TV ad over the final days of the campaign attempting to link Rodriguez to terrorists.

The moved smacked of desperation and unfair play. Add in his staunch defense of indicted former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, and Bonilla wound up looking like another tone-deaf Republican who would rather stick by controversial friends and policies rather than bend to public sentiment.

     Henry got kicked in the butt so hard that he could taste boot leather.  Henry has to row his own boat now and it's about damn time.  I wonder if he'll start a blog next week.

I have my own theory on why Bonilla lost.  It’s the Curse of Bacardi.  Bad things seem to happen to politicians who take Bacardi money.

Tom DeLay's TRMPAC took $20,000 in soft money from Bacardi.  He's under indictment in Texas, in part because of that Bacardi contribution, under federal criminal investigation and resigned his seat in disgrace:

Bacardi gave $10,000 to Bonilla's American Dream PAC and now he's out of a job:

Bacardi held a fundraiser for Senator Mel Martinez that raised $60,000 for his campaign - now he's under investigation by the FEC for accepting illegal corporate campaign contributions.

You'd think politicians would run screaming if they saw a Bacardi lobbyist walking in their direction with a check . . . .



December 13 - Our friend Sandy reminds us of reason #83 why the rightwing needs to get their people to just shuddup.  From the World Net Daily, we get ...

Soy is Making Kids Gay

There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular.

Now, I'm a health-food guy, a fanatic who seldom allows anything into his kitchen unless it's organic. I state my bias here just so you'll know I'm not anti-health food.

The dangerous food I'm speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they're all over the place. You can hardly escape them anymore.

     The writer contends that soy is "feminizing," so it's turning all our men gay. 
     He doesn't explain lesbianism.  Other than the fact that he's male, of course.

     And our friend Deb shows us a picture detail that has us giggling.  It's of Tom DeLay's blogger briefing.  (I think I see one girl there but it's hard to tell - it's a large collection of fluffy white boys around the table.  I can't tell if that's a girl in the lower left hand corner or maybe it's a guy eating soy.  No wait, that's Chick-Fil-A, who must have a corporate jet that Tom wants to ride on.)
     Anyway, you have to wait about 15 minutes for the picture to load, but that's a good thing because you can clearly see what Tom DeLay is reading at his blog briefing - Talking Points Memo, my favorite liberal blog.

I don't know if you noticed the Fox screen catch in the background of the picture. Jack the Ripper. Beyootiful.


December 12 - You know you're an idiot when you can't win an argument against Alan Colmes
     Now Tom DeLay is saying that the reason we're losing the war in Iraq is because the President can't properly communicate "the big picture."  Ya think? 
     I wonder when Tom's daughter is going to enlist in the military.  I guess the same time the Bush twins do. 

Hi, Susan. Did you see this? Delay has a ghost writer for his blog!
I enjoy your blog, BTW....

frankie franklin


     I guess this means that Tom didn't actually write this back in February:  Tom's "Please take me back" letter. (PDF Format)

December 12 - This could only happen in Texas.  No, seriously. 

Bill would allow legally blind Texans to hunt 

AUSTIN — A state lawmaker wants to make sure no Texan is left out when it comes to hunting, even if the hunter is legally blind. 

Rep. Edmund Kuempel, a Seguin Republican, has filed a bill for the 2007 legislative session that would allow legally blind hunters to use a laser sight, or lighted pointing instrument. The devices are forbidden for sighted hunters.

      I have only one question.  Hunt WHAT?
     No, wait.  I have one other question:  Can we get Dick Cheney one of those laser sites?

Hey Susan,an Colmes.

I don't know why you're surprised at letting blind people hunt.  Our county fathers have been letting blind people design county buildings for years.


Susan-- Only in Texas would we have a bill to allow blind hunters to hunt and  will suspend a 4 year old child on sexual harassment charges because of a hug he gave his teacher-- This state has gone totally off into  insanity!

December 12 - Okay, so now DeLay is talking about how brilliant the Democrats are!
     He's become a regular on Fox News, and now places blame at his hand-picked Denney Hastert for not organizing leadership. 
     You know, it's a shame that Tom doesn't live here anymore so he could organize local Republicans.
     By the way, when you see "intheknow" posting over at Bob's site, that's stomped-defeated school board candidate Liz Mitton, who likes to hide behind a mask while she's calling other people bad names.  Creepy.
     Meanwhile, it seems it wasn't only liberals who reacted badly to

Norm Ornstein, a congressional scholar at the conservative-leaning American Enterprise Institute, scoffed at the idea that Republicans will be led out of the wilderness by a politician whose leadership coincided with huge increases in federal spending and ballooning deficits. 

“So now, he wants to save conservatives from what he set in motion?" Ornstein asked. "I don't know if there is a Texas word for 'chutzpah,' but whatever it is, he's got it.”

     Okay, so who wants to pony-up $52 a year to be in Tom's Club?  If he folds after a week, do you get your money back? 

And another thing, Move On doesn't charge it's members to join..especially not 52 dollars a year, what an odd amount.  It sounds like a bribe, if you pay Tomboy 52 dollars a year he won't run for office. 


December 11 - Okay, here's the best part of DeLay Blog.  The Hill says it'll be an organization like moveon dot org.
     Except, I think in Tom's case, it should be named goback dot org.
     Look, and I'm being perfectly serious about this, Tom is just looking for another way for somebody else to pay his green fees.  Just watch - within three months will be spending money for golf trips with corporate jets.  I'll betcha.

Hi Susan,
Boy that blog got smashed was hilarious.   He's on Hardball tonight talking about his new agenda..not like the old crooked agenda I guess.  I guess we won't get to make comments on his blog..they only take the ones from loyalists..isn't that what they did in the Soviet Union?


December 11 - Okay, I want to be honest with you.  There's several place on the Internet Pipes where you can see the comments left at Tom DeLay's new blog before Tom erased them.  However, it's a little (okay, a lot) raw for me.  However, Tom DeLay's site promises to be fun.  For example:

Unfortunately, many D.C. insiders are simply incapable of looking outside the capital beltway for fresh opinions and new approaches that might otherwise help our nation.

     This is Mr. Beltway Insider himself.  You couldn't get him to leave Washington unless you dangled a golf game in front of him.  Heckfire, he moved away from home the day he resigned from Congress to go live near the beltway.  Left his wife and grandchild just to be near the danged beltway.
     He's delusional.  I mean it.  Totally delusional.  I mean, I expect Rod Sterling voice to begin every time Tom walks into a room,

"There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area we call the Twilight Zone."


December 10 - Okay, it seems that somebody is taking stuff off of Tom's website faster than ole Tom can put it up. However, our friend Don H is making copies of everything.  He promises to send them to me. 
     Crooks and Liars has some of it.

I'm sure you've been swamped with messages like mine about Tom's new blog. The comments section on the first posting more than doubled from 48 to 103 by the time I read down to the bottom, so people are having fun out there. (Although I suspect it's probably the same half-dozen people posting over and over again.)

Anyway, as of Sunday afternoon two of the entries by Tom (not the comments) have already been pulled, and by the grace of the scrollback buffer I happen to have them saved. If for some reason (morbid fascination?) you want copies let me know and I'll send those archives of Tom DeLay history in the making. I also saved the latest 103 - no, 109 comments from the first entry, although after a while they start to get mighty repetitive. I suspect they will all get erased as soon as the webmaster finishes his can of Pabst (which is now a Texas beer, go figger...)

-- Don H


December 10 - Oh, thank you, Sweet Jesus.  Santa Claus came early for me!  I'm happier than a blind man at Braille striptease.  Tom DeLay is gonna blog!

Tom DeLay's back, this time on the Internet. Friends tell us that the powerful former House majority leader, dubbed the "Hammer" for his tough persuasion tactics, this week unveils, where he'll blog—DeLay's Daily—on newsy issues and build a coalition he's calling Grassroots, Action, and Information Network. Sources said the right-leaning Texan will give gain members insider information on the conservative movement and urge them to step in on key issues. And Democrats need not apply: His site will have a way to filter them out.

     Check this sucker out!  He's just using it to get paid speaking engagements.  Once a whore, always a whore. 
     Okay, we'll be opening Brazosriver dot com again just for you, I mean YOU!, to answer Tom's daily posts.  That's right, my friend, if he filters you out, you can post at  Every damn day!
     I'll get to work getting it to work.  Or something like that.

December 10 - Republican Congressman Mike McCaul - who does his representing in the Texas 10th, dangerously close to us right here - has named Greg Hill as his Chief of Staff.
     Who is Greg Hill, you ask?
     Well, I appreciate you asking.  Greg Hill was the government employee at HUD who was heavily lobbied by Jack Abramoff.
     The Miami Herald has the whole story this morning. 
     If any more Texas Republicans have ties to Jack Abramoff, we're going to have to declare the whole Party an Indian tribe.

December 10 - Our friend TK sent us a picture taken in Galveston this weekend of a new venue suspected of being transported from New Orleans.  (Click on the little picture to get a big one.)

     Yep, we can certainly thank Republicans for  Blues music.

December 8 - How in Sam Hill Tarnation can you be negligent in protecting a child without it being illegal

"In all, a pattern of conduct was exhibited among many individuals to remain willfully ignorant of the potential consequences of former Representative Foley's conduct," the report states.

     That's legal?  That's tight with the statutes?  If so, then something is real wrong. 
     Willfully ignorant, huh?  You know, what with the war, the national debt, scandals, the health care mess, and everything else, "Willfully Ignorant" is the new Republican motto.
     Vote for Republicans - they're ignorant on purpose!


December 7 - Local GOP infighting continues to make the news at Quorum Report (subscription only) and Fort Bend Now continues to keep the story fresh.
     Local GOP Party chair Gary Gillen is having a Pecos Promenade (or maybe in this case, a Brazos Bashing) with his executive committee.  Everybody is taking sides and the meeting on the 14th at the annex should be as fun as a Mexico Presidential election. 
     Knowing this bunch as I do, no matter who wins, the other side won't concede and the battle will continue long after everybody forgets what it was about.
     Republicans and money - you'd be safer meeting with Putin while he's carrying a shoebox.

December 6 - Okay, the new Republican minority in Congress promises to be as lazy, mean, and disgusting as the last Republican majority. 
     Since we’ve got a war going on, national security issues, a heath care delivery system that’s coming apart at the seams, and a national debt that promises to bury our grandchildren, Democratic Congressman and soon to be majority leader, Steny Hoyer, says maybe Congress should start working a five day workweek.
     You’ve never heard such carrying-on.
     You’d have thought that we asked them to give up their pay raise, too.
     But, the Republican who took the cake was Georgia’s own Jack Kingston who claims that  ……

"Keeping us up here eats away at families," said Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Ga.), who typically flies home on Thursdays and returns to Washington on Tuesdays. "Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families -- that's what this says."

     Jack, Bud, listen up – lotsa people work 5 days a week and have a happy family. 
     And, Jack, listening to you whine about your family when there’s American men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan on their fourth tour of duty, hacks me off royally. 
     You don't know Jack.

Yo Susan!
After reading about Jack the Slack complaining about work (why is work always so hard for republicans, anyway?), I had to drop him an email cause he just flat out ticked me off. I'd share the message wit ya, but I know your sweet mama comes here and I don't want to offend her. Needless to say, I suggested he should put in his 40 hours (at least) a week like most hard working Americans and shaddup, or go home to work at his local Walmart. 
BTW, the new blues and greens give me a slight headache, but it's worth it to keep updated with all the crazzziness here.    
Your Yankee Dem in Spring,

Gee, I bet those people in Georgia that voted for Jack are sure proud!  

I wonder what Jack thinks of the Administration's regard for families. You know the fine "Family Values" guys that sent the Military personnel , who by the way are paid way less than $165,000 a year,to Iraq and don't get to come home on weekends and some not at all. I bet any  mother,father,wife,brother,sister or child with a family member in Iraq would gladly trade salaries and work schedules with 'ol Jack. 

My guess is Mrs. Jack Kingston is throwing a "Girls Night Out Party "  and writing Steny a thank you note right now!


Hi Susan,

Thanks for the teary testimony from the good Congresscritter from Georgia about how having to work in Washington tears him away from his family in Georgia.  What a crock!  When my friend Jane's dad was a Congresscritter from New York, the family lived in Chevy Chase, MD. And my soon to be ex Senatevarmint Ricky Santorum was getting the good people from the Penn Hills school district to pay him for home schooling his kids in Leesburg, VA while he was off playing on K Street with Tommie the Dee.  Our local State Senator ran a campaign ad in which his wife went on and on about how poor Jake just hates being away from his family when he's off in Harrisburg drawing his $100+ in tax free per diem expenses and I say that all of those politicians who want to flog that donkey should stay home all year.

Don A.


December 6 - Friendswood wants to establish English as the official language of the city of Friendswood.  I’ve been to Friendswood.  They do not speak English there.  They speak snob.  Through their noses.  Which point upward, as I recall.
     Plus, if you’re inviting people who don’t 100% agree with you to pack up and leave the city, then, can you honestly call yourself “Friendswood”?  I mean, isn’t that more like “Commiewood”?
     I know these Friendswood guys haven’t been here very long, but if they hang around a while in southeast Texas, they’ll soon be trilingual.  You learn to speak enough Spanish to order from a menu and enough French to tell that Cajun neighbor of yours that his crawfish cooker scares you a little.  Around Fort Bend you learn enough Czech to understand when you’ve been told to kiss a butt.  Otherwise you would starve to death, tremble during crawfish season, and get your butt kicked.
     Hey Friendswood, talk friendly, ya hear?

Would Fiendwood be more appropriate?



December 6 - You know what's more fun than recess in heaven?  Watching Republicans fight.  Especially when they're fighting over money
     Our local Republicans right here in Fort Bend County have come to depend on big, major corporate donations to run their local party.  When that's threatened with Tom DeLay gone, they are spatting over who has control of the little bit that gonna be left.  One one side there's Gary Gillen, the party chairman, and his friend A. D. Mueller.  On the other side is ... well, pretty near everybody else.
     Their big fundraising Lincoln-Reagan Day Dinner (two men who would gag on Bush's name) is the object of the fight.  Bob's keeping a close eye on it because, dammit, somebody has to and Bob does it best.

Gillen couldn’t be reached for comment early Wednesday afternoon, but I seriously doubt at this point that he’s going to listen to the majority of the executive committee – which he seems to blame for preventing him from operating the party with the same sort of freedom his predecessor enjoyed.

     Poor Gillen, his plumb line is crooked.  He's all sizzle and no bacon. 

December 5 - Newsflash:  ARMPAC still broke No money coming in, still owes $90,000.
     If Tom DeLay tries to write you a check, I'd ask for cash instead. 
     By the way, people aren't seeing Tom in the fancy Sugar Land restaurants as much lately.  So, hump it up, you local Christian Coalition tightwads, and take Tom to dinner.  I mean, it's the talk of the town!

Blues and greens...nuff to knock yer eyes out. 

And does your mama know about the new name of your site? 

Seriously, good work. It's been kinda busy over here, but I'm gonna take a close look in the next few days. Right now, I have to go build a fire in the fireplace, or my wife will beat me. It's 18 degrees here. 

The only upside to living in Texas, right? 


Note From Susan:

Since I've been asked the Momma question a few times, I'll answer it here.

When I first told Momma about my idea, she hated it.  She fluffed-up and asked me not to use my birth name because she was afraid that her friends would think she raised me with no class whatsodurnever if they happened to stumble onto the site. 

Momma is 83 years old.  She doesn't have all that many friend still living, and I certainly didn't want to shock the few she has left.  They are at the age where it's one shock and you're out.

Well, after she saw the site and the cute donkey (instead of a picture of my bohunkus she was expecting), she softened.  She called and said please do use my birth name.  She figures her friends probably won't find out. 

Besides, she reminded me, sometimes Daddy used the "B" word before he went to the great gusher in the sky. 

Daddy figured the only 4-letters words you might have occasion to say are butt, damn, and hell, but not all at once, and never in front of Momma. 

By the way, I've been asked if I killed Juanita.  No, I did not.  She'll be dropping by from time to time.



December 5 - Hey, you gotta give the Republicans their due.  At least they've narrowed the gender-gap between male and female pay.
     They did it by insuring that male wages went down.

.... a noteworthy trend in the 21st century economy: Women are closing in on men when it comes to wages, but not for the reasons anticipated — or hoped for — when gender pay equity became a rallying cry in the 1970s.

Data show that the pay gap has been narrowing not because women have made great strides, labor experts say, but because men's wages are eroding.

     I gotta admit that the Democrats wouldn't have thought of that solution.

December 5 - Cow dung?  They're using cow dung?

It may not have the enviro-glamour of wind or solar power, but lowly cow dung will soon fuel some Austin-area electricity plants.

The Lower Colorado River Authority announced Monday that it would buy natural gas made at a North Texas facility from the breakdown of manure deposited by about 10,000 dairy cows.

     Somebody didn't think this sucker through.  If they would use bull dung, Texas could power the entire nation when the Lege is in session. 
     For free.  Wouldn't cost us a dime.  In fact, sometimes they even mail it to you, calling it a Legislative Newsletter.  You could put that in you gas tank.

Your idea, unfortunately, won't work.  The cow dung breaks down into methane, which is then used for fuel.  The bull...t from the lege never breaks down, it just keeps on stinking the place up.

December 5 - Our buddy Alfredo sent us an interesting item in Political Moneyline.

Another $400,000 from Bob Perry 12/4/2006
The Free Enterprise Committee (different but related to the Free Enterprise Fund) filed five reports with the IRS on 11/30 for activity going back to the beginning of 2006. The committee reported receiving $400,000 from Bob Perry in February 2006 ($200,000 on 2/13 and $200,000 on 2/23). The money was spent on media buys titled "Pop Up Liberals" and "Meet George" and "pertaining to candidate Thomas DeLay TX of Primary House 2006 race." This $400,000 is on top of the $6,650,000 already tallied from Perry. View IRS 527 Database.

     If you've gotten up to second gear in your noggin this morning, you'll recall that February 2006 was two months after DeLay had decided not to run for office, but hadn't told anyone but Fort Bend County GOP party chair. 
     "Pop Up Liberals," huh?  Yeah, we're just popping up everywhere.  And, I wonder who this George person is ...?

December 4 - Bush's half a billion dollar Presidential Library and "Think Tank" keeps on making the news ...

But as officials say they are not far from picking the future home of the George W. Bush Presidential Library -- Southern Methodist University, Baylor University or the University of Dallas -- speculation is going on everywhere.

     I would like to make a modest suggestion.  What about Wharton County Junior College, affectionately known as Whack-Jack, Czech Tech, or Harvard on the Brazos? 
     I mean, we've got us a move-in ready deserted K-Mart store in Rosenberg, pretty near the WCJC campus.
     Hey, it ain't like Bush is gonna need a whole mess of books at his library, but he will need lotsa empty room to keep all his advisers as far apart as physically possible before they cut each other's throats. 
     It's a big ole K-Mart.  Dick Cheney could hunt in there and hit nothing. 
     And think of what you could do to a deserted K-Mart with half a billion dollars!  Boy Howdy - we're talking crystal chandeliers and such.  I bet people would come all the way from Freeport and Beaumont to see that. 
     By the way, I told Thelma that Bush was getting himself a Think Tank after he leaves office.  "Ain't that kinda like buying bullets after you go hunting?" she asked.
     Kinda.  Yep.

Oh, Susan, I just love your new site. What a hoot!
I imagine GWB will use his half billion dollar library for all kinds of nefarious deeds such as all those sneaky classified papers, not to mention notes on blackmailing/bullying the world and so forth. The list is endless as to what he can store in those little reading rooms. Oh, I nearly forgot to mention using it as the drop spot for his South American nose candy connection. If this library has plans to erect a private air strip, well.....loook out!
Norma from "paradise"


December 4 - Just so you don't miss it before it goes away, Shelley has an official Congressional website.  Yes, sireee, a genuine government website complete with speeches (both of them) that you can watch on Real Player.  (Yes, Muse, she's wearing pink in at least one of them.)
     Shelley looks good.  She could almost read her speeches.  I'm sure that with just a little practice, she'll be able to pronounce epicenter correctly.
     In both her speeches, she promised to roll up her sleeves, but there was no sleeve-rolling as far I could tell. 
     In her swearing-in speech, it's real apparent that she's never watched C-Span.  You'd think they would warn her that Robert's Rules of Order are followed in the House.

A Big Hair Farewell Bad Poetry and Photo Tribute
to the World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.  
Against most difficult odds
you ran a race to victory
November aught six
and left pink Shelley behind
coughing in the Texas dust.
Kiss My Big Blue Butt!

(image from



Love the new "do."  I expect that Juanita will show up from time to time, right? 


Hi Susan, 

Thanks for posting Shelley's website, I needed a good laugh.  Her speeches must have been made to a ghost audience, I heard no one and saw no one only the faintly fading image of Tom Delay.  It's a good thing she lost the election because her speeches were about as interesting as watching water drip.  Too bad the Salon is shut down .. she needs a makeover ...bad!!!



December 3 - John, Babe, step away from the microphone and no one gets hurt.

BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) -- In the space of barely a minute, John Kerry's political life took an abrupt turn.

There's before The Joke, when the Massachusetts senator appeared to be well on his way toward making a political comeback, laying the groundwork for a White House bid despite losing the 2004 presidential election.

     "Sit down and shuddup" sounds like a workable plan to me, John.  You get one shot.  You bottom out and that's it.
     I'm willing to give Al Gore another shot because he won when he ran.  However, you, John, need to take off that silly-butt hunting jacket and stop trying to convince me that real men windsurf.  But mostly you just need to shut the tarnation up.

Hi Susan,

Kerry and "the Joke" are going to end up like Dean and "the Scream".  The media storm over both events blew them both out of proportion but neither Howard nor John will ever be taken seriously as a presidential candidate again.

Don A.

December 3 - If having Shelley Sekula-Gibbs embarrass us right off the bat isn't enough, we've got newly elected Republican State Representative John Zerwas to thank for giving us more headlines in today's Houston Chronicle

"They call it the late train," said Andrew Wheat, research director of Texans for Public Justice, an Austin-based group that backs campaign finance reform.

Embracing the train motif, at least one politician made clear he wasn't the kind to hold a grudge.

''Choo-choo ... It's not too late!" incoming Rep. John Zerwas, a Republican from the Houston area, wrote in his invitations to his Thursday night reception at the Headliners Club. Zerwas even included a drawing of a train, lest people miss the point. He did not return calls for comment.

     Maybe it's because they are both doctors.  I dunno. 

     I wonder if Zerwas is going to give our other Republican State Rep a run for the title of Greediest Son of a Motherless Goat in his zip code.  I'll predict we'll see them in a fistfight over lobbyist checks within a year.
     Charlie Howard has over a quarter of a million dollars in his campaign account and is still raising money. 

December 2 - Maybe he'll put an asterisk by his home state in the history books for this.
     Ken Herman of the Cox News Service notes that there's a big Texas hole in Presidential contenders for 2008.

Depending on how and who you count, there are 24 potential candidates, including three from New York and two each from Arkansas and Massachusetts.

Even Delaware, South Dakota and New Mexico have one apiece.

Texas, the Land of the Big Ego, has none, zilch, nada.

Depending again on how you count, 2008 could be the first time in a third- or a half-century in which there might not be a Texan involved in the presidential race.

     The reason for Texas-fatigue?  You guessed it.  According to a political science professor at Texas A&M, it's Dubya.  Dubya has done something that even Lyndon Johnson and Lee Harvey Oswald couldn't manage to do - make America hate Texas. 

Political scientist Edwards, a professor at Texas A&M's Bush School of Government and Public Service, believes the specific Texan now in the White House would be a negative for any Texan who ran in 2008.

    Edwards also gives that knowing nod to his fellow Aggie, Governor Rick Perry, who some people think might be a good Vice-Presidential candidate simply because comics have so many Dan Quayle jokes they didn't get to use.

Some of Perry's aides like to see his name added when vice presidential speculation percolates, but that's about as far as that discussion goes.

"The governor is not an impressive figure," said Edwards.

     Yeah, but his hair is stunning.  Really stunning. 


December 1 - Just in case you heard this dreadful rumor ...

The menu: New executive chef Cristeta Comerford added some Bush favorites to the traditional holiday buffets -- mini-chicken-fried steaks with white onion gravy, sweet potato souffle and tamales, which the Texans always eat on Christmas Eve.

     Let me make something real clear.  No self-respecting Texan would eat a mini-chicken-fried-steak.  If it's "mini" it ain't a CFS.  A proper chicken-friend-steak is about the size of an inhabitable island.  If it doesn't hang off the edges of a serving platter, you give it back to the waitress and remind her that you did not order from the child's menu.
     Additionally, several grand juries in Texas have indicted people for aggravated souffle.  One does not souffle in Texas.  That is a horrible thing to do with an innocent sweet potato. 
     Tamales are okay.  We eat lotsa tamales and we're mighty proud of that. 

Hey Susan, 

I read the menu for the WH holiday meals.  Some of the stuff sound really good.  I know now for sure that GWB is on some kind of drugs, did you see all the cookies, cakes and sweets they were serving.  Good Lord there was enough sugar in that menu to feed the whole continent of Asia for a week.


Love the mini cfs reminded me of a graduation dinner at Heritage House in Montgomery County that we went to for an Aggie who used to live in Nigeria with us...crazy girl is a CALIFORNIAN who fell in love with College Station...anywho, picture this room full of Californians of all ages, Grannies down to little boys who do not know the meaning of the term 'kids meal'. They all order chicken fried steak. I think Keara and I were the only ones in a group of about 25 who did not order it. They have no idea what is coming out of that kitchen. I wish I had taken pictures of their faces, and of the pieces of cfs hanging over the edges of the plates, um, I mean platters. Texas Toothpicks anyone? There was one little boy who was SO impressed...he'll remember that dinner for the rest of his life, I'll bet. I sure remember my first CFS back in 1982...I didn't know you could DO that to a piece of steak...and the only time I'd ever seen white gravy was on the SOS served for breakfast at my Air Force uncle's house on the base in Troy, NY. You do a great job of stirring up memories...

Fenway Fran

I look forward to seeing the new site.  I have truly enjoyed your intelligence, wit and common sense.  As a proud Texan with roots that go back further than and of these noxious foreign shrubs, I am thrilled that someone is doing such a fine job represent true Texas values—and I agree :  I have never heard of, nor do I believe in the existence of any such thing as a “mini-chicken fried steak.” There is no such thing.  It’s like  “common sense conservatives” or “Bush’s Brain.”   You can’t have it.  I salute you for your service to the great State of Texas.


December 1 - Bless his heart, Pat Boone ain't finished singing yet but everybody has left the room.  Thanks to Deb for the heads-up!
     Boone spoke at the Heritage Foundation, which calls itself a "think tank" but nobody there thinks.  Can they do that?  I mean, you cannot call yourself "Big Ed's Bar-Be-Que and Bait" unless you have both bar-be-que and bait.  So, it seems you'd have to think to call yourself a think tank.  I'm just saying....

After warning of the “new order of Armageddon,” he delineated his vision of the new revolution. Referring to the Supreme Court justices, he said, “We need a new Boston Tea Party, only this time let’s not waste good tea — let’s heap a bunch of black robes into the harbor. It won’t hurt the robes. They can swim out and they can re-enroll in Constitution 101.”

Boone’s speech took a somber turn when discussing the malaise and apathy of today’s youth. Tears began to fall as Boone lamented: “It grieves me the way young entertainers are deriding our leaders.”

     The Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club must the swooning.  Pat hit all the hot buttons -- modern music, activist judges, defecating on the flag ..... whoa!  Did he say defecating on the flag?  "Many" people defecating on the flag?  Many?  Did he say "many?"  Nah ..... he did not say that, did he?

I can defecate on this flag, as many have, and that’s OK.

     Oh Lord, defecating on the flag is going to be the new War on Christmas.  Somebody watch Fox News and tell me when it happens.  You heard it predicted here first.

Ozzie Osbornes’ next-door neighbor wants to poop on the Flag? 

And we are surprised by this WHY? 


December 1 - Breaking News - Electronic voting machines with no paper trail are pretty much a piece of crap.
          The Washington Post says so --

Paperless electronic voting machines used throughout the Washington region and much of the country "cannot be made secure," according to draft recommendations issued this week by a federal agency that advises the U.S. Election Assistance Commission.

The assessment by the National Institute of Standards and Technology, one of the government's premier research centers, is the most sweeping condemnation of such voting systems by a federal agency.

     Okay, now that our county commissioners sprang a leak in their crankcase and spent $3 million perfectly good cash money American dollars into a system that threw a rod in second gear, we've got to spend money fixing the mess they made.
     I have a little reminder here.  Last time they picked the pieces of crapola voting machines, they held a one morning opportunity for the citizens to try the different voting machines.  One stinkin' morning - while most people were at work so they can pay the darned taxes that county commissioners seem so intent on wasting. 
     Maybe this time they can let public business be public. 
     Secondly, maybe that lying sack of chicken poop Tom Stavinoha will just keep his hands in his own darned pockets and not vote at all.
     And lastly, when the public was asked to select a voting machine, they voted on which machine the liked best by using  ..... you guessed it --- piece of paper with a pencil.  Doesn't that stinkin' tell you something, Commissioner Boys? 
     If there's an idiot contest, our boys don't even need a mulligan.

December 1 - The Quorum Report by Harvey Kronberg is one of the top rated and respected Texas news clipping services and rumor rustler.  It's by subscription only, with rates of $275 a year, so it's seen by people across the nation who take their politics seriously.  I've been subscribing for a couple of years because Harvey knows his stuff.
     This morning's Top State Story on The Quorum Report is Bob Dunn's piece on the local GOP party chairman pulling some hanky-panky.  That's a mighty big time position!  It's statewide news because it's Fort Bend County and there's questionable ethics involved - a normal but unbeatable combination.
     It appears that Gary Gillen has followed in the footsteps of Dubya and decided that he's The Decider and to heck and back with rules, laws, impropriety or what the Congress (Executive Committee) wants. 
     Gillen, who is mostly unencumbered by excessive IQ points, appears to be as delusional as Dubya.  Doesn't Gillen know that this will get statewide (and even national, I hear) attention because ... (see normal and unbeatable above)?
     As an official Kiss My Big Blue Butt Democrat, I am tickled pink to see Gillen get more negative publicity for the local Republicans.  It's like the best Christmas present ever.
     It don't take a political science degree to know that this story is nowhere near completion so it may turn out to be better than roses for Valentine's Day!



Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom DeLay's old district.  It's crazy here.  No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans.  They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber. 

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog.  Blogs are way too trendy for me.  I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't. 

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.