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April 29 - I have long contended that endorsement lists never really help a candidate.  I want to thank Rudy Giuliani for helping me prove that.
     I think most people look at endorsement lists and find people they don’t like.  That gives them a reason to support the other guy. 
     However, Rudy took a whole new approach to endorsements ---  

Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani released his latest slate of New Hampshire supporters last week. One problem: Not all of them back the former New York City mayor.

Alongside a former state GOP chairman, a congressman and an executive councilor who do support Giuliani, a handful of people made the list of 125 supporters despite their objections.

     The last time I saw something like this was when Gary Gates ran for State Rep and listed anyone he ever met, including a convicted felon or two.  Poor Gates got fewer votes than he did endorsements.
     He’s running for the school board this time.

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April 29 - Just in time for your summer gift-giving ideas!
     Political signs for Republicans who haven’t yet decided what they want to be when they grow up!
     They’re cheap.  They’re easy.  They’re reversible!
     This is the front and back of the same sign.  No, I'm not kidding. 

     You need some of these signs, my friends.
     No matter what you want to run for, the issues can stay the same --- all you have to do is add a sticker with the new race.
     Run every year!  Make big bucks on campaign contributions!  Be the second or third on your block with these versatile campaign signs.
     Contact the Ken Bryant Politics and Law Palace to place your order.
     (You gotta love Nutty Ken - He's running for one thing coming and another thing going!)

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April 29 - It’s official:  “Personal reasons” is the new euphemism hoochy-koochy.
     Last Friday morning, Randall Tobias announced that he was leaving the Bush administration. 

WASHINGTON: Randall Tobias, coordinator of the Bush administration's foreign aid programs, resigned Friday, citing personal reasons.

Tobias held two titles: director of U.S. foreign assistance and administrator for the U.S. Agency for International Development. His rank was equivalent to deputy secretary of state.

     By that afternoon, the story got fleshed-out a little.

Deputy Secretary of State Randall L. Tobias submitted his resignation Friday, one day after confirming to ABC News that he had been a customer of a Washington, D.C. escort service whose owner has been charged by federal prosecutors with running a prostitution operation. 

     And then yesterday, he said he didn’t inhale --- 

Tobias resigned after ABC News contacted him with questions about the escort service, the sources said. ABC News released a statement last night saying Tobias acknowledged Thursday that he had used the service to provide massages, not sex.

     Uh huh.  Yep.  That’s his story and he’s sticking to it.  Okay, maybe not so much.

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April 29 - Okay, I don’t care who you are, you gotta feel sorry for the Texas 22^nd Congressional District.  You just gotta.  I mean, we ought to qualify for federal congressional disaster relief. 
     First, we had to suffer through a decade of Tom DeLay.  Then, DeLay resigned last April 3rd, leaving us without a Congresscritter for 8 months.
     Just when we got to thinking that anything would be better than not having any representation at all, Republican Shelley Sekula Gibbs got elected in the special election and proved us wrong.  Bless her heart, she was a disaster on rocket fuel and caffeine.  If she was in the newspaper, you could bet that something hideously embarrassing was within four words of her name.  She served a whole three weeks and managed to make a fool of herself – and us - almost daily. 
     Okay, so then we elect a Democrat, Nick Lampson, in November. Lampson has been in office for less than 5 months and he’s already talking about running for Senate. 
     Oh, for pete’s sake.  Good grief. 
     Look, I know Lampson didn’t have heart surgery on purpose last month and I’ve kept him in my prayers daily for good health, but you’d think he’d spend his recovery thinking about how to serve us instead of how to run against John Cornyn.  
     What with DeLay’s resignation, Shelley’s ego era, and Nick’s distraction with the Senate race, we’re coming up on a year of taxation without representation. 
     Lampson needs to get well, and represent this district with all his energy and no diversions.  In that order.  We deserve it, dammit.

---

April 27 - The funniest man in Texas shot a three-pointer this week.  John Kelso takes on the Lege's voter ID bill.  Put down any hot beverages or sharp object before you read it or you'll hurt yourself.
     Just a small preview so you'll know it's worth your time ---

But let's just say for argument purposes that the Republicans really are trying to keep the wrong element from voting, like maybe poor people who allegedly vote Democrat.

If that's the case, they should tweak Brown's bill and require voters to show up at the polls with:

•A new set of expensive golf clubs (with receipt for proof) and a box of Maxfli balls.

•A color photograph of the voter enjoying a cocktail in the West Austin News.

•The keys to the voter's Lamborghini

•An autographed photo of Tom DeLay stuffing money in his pants.

     Yeah, you need to read the whole thing.

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April 27 - There are people who’ve been crazy enough to ask who I liked in the Democratic Presidential debate last night.
     Duh.  The old coot from Alaska, of course.  I'm getting me a button that says, "Vote for the Old Coot."
     If my memory serves me correctly and it rarely does, I think Mike Gravel and Wayne Morse of Oregon were the only two Senators who voted against the Gulf of Tonkin resolution.  Good on ‘um.
     We had a few friends over the watch the debate and the clear winner was Geri’s lasagna.  Hands down.  Vote Lasagna.

---

April 27 - Now’s here’s a great idea.  HB 2560 ----- 

If passed, the bill would require all Texas school districts to list checking account transactions electronically. The amount, check number, payee, purpose of the expenditure and the function code of each transaction would be listed, according to the bill.

"A school district shall prominently post the electronic checking account transaction register at all times on the district's Web site for downloading by interested parties," according to the bill. "A school district shall update the electronic checking account transaction register at least once a month."

The Conroe and New Caney districts are among two Texas school districts already posting the information online. The Texas Education Agency also posts its financial records online at www.tea.state.tx.us. 

     It would probably not be a bad idea for all government agencies to do this.  It might save us a dollar or two if elected officials knew that you would know what they’re spending on consultants, travel, and donuts. 

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April 26 - You know Mr. Whitty, that mean ole man who lives down on the corner, who everybody just hates?  You know, the grumpy old guy who throws rocks at the little children when they’re leaving school and hollers at the neighbors for playing music after 7:30 in the evening?  You know him, don’t you?  He’s run off 3 or 4 wives, never bathes, and has no friends whatsoever. 
     Well, come to find out, Mr. Whitty is more popular than George Bush. 
     I have just been handed a poll by Hamilton Beattie & Staff that shows that George Bush has a negative job rating in Texas.  Overall he has 47% positive and 51% negative – in danged Texas, my friend.  Only 34% of Texans believe the country is headed in the right direction. 
     Maybe George Bush can go sit on the porch with Mr. Whitty.  But I doubt that even Mr. Whitty is speaking to him.

---

April 26 - We get email.  About Mrs. Fred and the little nasty Wolfie.

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April 26 - Just what I've been talking about.  Thanks to Jim Morin of the Miama Herald.
     Click the little one to get the big one.

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April 25 - For you out of towners, The Houston Chronicle let the city know what we knew yesterday. 
     Tom DeLay’s butt is so hot that you can bake potatoes in his pants.   

The federal probe into corruption related to disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff could be inching closer to former U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay of Sugar Land as investigators focus on a former DeLay chief of staff who later employed the Republican leader's wife.

     So, expect Tom to start talking that crazy talk again.  I still claim that he’s trying to play the martyr, but Thelma thinks the working on an insanity defense.  Verdelia, on the pother hand, thinks he’s just nuts and always has been.

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April 25 - Okay, they got the hamsters to run again down at Pepe’s Chinese Buffet and Internet Connection, so we’re back in business. 
     We had 2 inches of rain in Fort Bend County today so there’s standing water in my street, the electricity went out, and Pepe’s hamsters went on strike.  Two inches of rain.  Two.  Just in case I’m not here when the next hurricane hits – and, trust me, I won’t be – I’d like to thank our county fathers and the Greater Fort Bend Economic Development Council for nothin’.

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April 25 - Hey, before you enjoy that morning donut, here’s an appetizing thought …. 

While FDA inspections have steadily dropped in recent years, the proportion of imported food used in domestic manufacturing has skyrocketed. There is no requirement that the FDA conduct an in-person inspection before a foreign producer begins to ship ingredients to US suppliers seeking bargain-basement prices.

     And, what little FDA we have left has found cyanuric acid, a chemical used as a pool cleaner, in rice we bought from China.  So, sprinkle some Drano on that donut, Honey, and enjoy!

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April 25 - Bulletproof Baptist?
     Okay, so nobody ever said that physics is a required course at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, but you would think that the college President would know that a gun beats a hand or a belly every damn time.   

The president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth has told male students there that in a situation like last week's Virginia Tech shootings, he would expect them to charge the assailant, sacrificing their lives if necessary.

Paige Patterson made the remarks at Wednesday's seminary chapel service, two days after the shootings.

"All you had to do was have six or eight [students] rush him right at that time and 32 people wouldn't have died," Dr. Patterson said of Seung-Hui Cho, who went on a lethal shooting spree, then shot himself.

     Now, I’m wondering why he would say something like this.  First, it’s an insult to students who acted bravely by closing doors and holding their bodies against them.  Secondly, why only guys?  I’ve known guys who thought they were bulletproof, but that usually followed a keg of Lone Star at the Mustang Lounge.
     Why can’t women be brave?  Every Baptist child is told the story of Lottie Moon – who was a girl and a darned sight braver than Paige Patterson. 
     So we've come to this - The Baptist Theological and Rambo Seminary.
     Good Lord, idiots have stolen the Baptist Church.

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April 24 - You know those drugs that Rush Limbaugh takes?  Somebody needs to give some to Tom DeLay.  The man’s has done gone bonkers.  We should have seen this coming. 
     He thinks Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are guilty of treason.  Never mind that he made the same criticisms during Kosovo.  Never mind that he hasn’t read the Constitutional definition of treason.  Never mind that his botox is starting to slip and he look funny.  No, never mind all that.
     I just saw Tucker Carlson and Pat Buchanan making fun of him.  You know you’re nuttier than squirrel poop when those two are making fun of you.  It don’t get no lower than that, Honey.
     Okay, I have been following Tom DeLay for twenty years.  I can tell you exactly what he’s doing.  I’ve seen this pattern a hundred times.
     Tom DeLay is talking crazzzy so that when the DOJ indicts him for God-only-knows-what-all-he’s-done, Tom DeLay will stand up and say, “I’m being indicted for speaking my mind.  They are trying to shut me up.”  He will paint himself a martyr --- again. 
     I will bet my best pair of pink boots on it. 
     You heard it here first.
     I'm perfectly serious.  Buy a ticket and watch.

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April 24 - Let me just say this one thing, please.
     Jessica Lynch, you are a hero in my book.  Not completely for what you did serving your country, although that too, but what you did and said with dignity, honor, and courage before the House Committee today.   

Lynch, then an Army private, was badly injured when her convoy was ambushed in Iraq. She was subsequently rescued by American troops from an Iraqi hospital but the tale of her ambush was changed into a story of heroism on her part.

Still hampered by her injuries, Lynch walked slowly to the witness table and took a seat alongside Tillman's family members.

"The bottom line is the American people are capable of determining their own ideals of heroes and they don't need to be told elaborate lies," Lynch said.

     At a very young age, you recognize what the men in power in our country do not – Americans can be trusted with America. 

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April 24 - If Tom DeLay doesn’t feel the devil’s breath on his hiney, it’s only because he’s already lost his hiney in the book selling business.
     The DOJ is finally going after those who helped Abramoff in the Northern Marianas.

 Yet another shoe drops in the Jack Abramoff investigation. A former aide to Rep. Don Young (R-AK), Mark Zachares, looks set to plead guilty to corruption charges.

The Justice Department filed a criminal information today on Zachares, laying out the facts to which he'll be pleading guilty.

     Oh the joy of discovering everything DeLay did in the Marianas.  He’ll probably have to write a whole ‘nother kiss and tell book.

     But even Tom could learn some lessons in spinning from U.S. Rep. Tom Feeney of Florida, who is using the “my name was just in the newspaper” defense.

U.S. Rep. Tom Feeney of Florida said Monday that the Justice Department has asked for "more information" about his ties to convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

But the Oviedo Republican said he is "not a target" and is "voluntarily cooperating" with federal authorities, who have expanded their influence-peddling investigation in recent days to other associates of Abramoff, jailed for bribing public officials.

     Now wait – it’s coming.  Hold on to something.

"The Justice Department is wrapping up its investigation and they want to talk to everyone who has been mentioned in a newspaper article," Feeney said.

     Wheeeeee...... Boom!
     Okay, you gotta wonder.  Is that what the DOJ told Feeney to get him to talk, and is Feeney stoopid enough to think all the rest of us will believe it?

     And Deb points out that we’re up to two a day now.  The Republican Party:  Doing their part to keep DeeCee trial lawyers employed! 

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April 24 - We get more email.  Rick Perry, of course.  And, no, I don't make this stuff up.  These are real people - at least, best I can figure.

April 23 - We get email.  About David Wallace.

April 23 - Okay, you gotta wonder --- what Senate interview did they show Bush?  It certainly wasn’t the same one that the rest of America saw.   

"The attorney general went up and gave a very candid assessment, and answered every question he could possibly answer _ honestly answer _ in a way that increased my confidence in his ability to do the job," Bush said.

     I cannot even imagine the dirt that Gonzales must have on Bush.  At this point, I would not be shocked to learn that Gonzales has a stained blue dress.   

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April 23 - This is so great!  This guy ---  

this one right here --- Bobbie Eberle, Jeff Gannon’s former boss, defeated candidate for Vice Chair of the Texas Republican Party, and writer of a column called “The Loft”  (no, seriously, that’s what he calls it), just called Democrats “wimps.” 
     I could whip his butt with both hands tied behind my back, barefoot, and give him a three punch head start.  And, gee, I hit like a girl!
     Wimps?  This guy called me a wimp? 
     Look, if there’s pictures of you with a famous self-admitted homosexual prostitute doing rightwing radio, then you don’t need to be calling anybody else a wimp.  Oddly, that’s not codified into law anywhere, but we still expect you to know it. 
    Wimp.  Hey, Eberle, bring it on.
 

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April 23 - Whoa, wait.  Hold on a minute.  What the heck am I reading here? 

The Food and Drug Administration has known for years about contamination problems at a Georgia peanut butter plant and on California spinach farms that led to disease outbreaks that killed three people, sickened hundreds, and forced one of the biggest product recalls in U.S. history, documents and interviews show.

Overwhelmed by huge growth in the number of food processors and imports, however, the agency took only limited steps to address the problems and relied on producers to police themselves, according to agency documents.

Congressional critics and consumer advocates said both episodes show that the agency is incapable of adequately protecting the safety of the food supply.

     Uh, when did this happen?  Certainly some of that money we’re spending on Homeland Security would also be used to check the food supply.
     And ConAgra?  What price did they pay for hiding their records?  Why, only a dividend to their stock holders announced last week. 
     The next time a Republican talks to you about market forces or self-regulation, you have my full permission to force feed them some peanut butter.

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April 22 - I wonder if she needs a high-paying job or something ....

     Senator Fred Thompson's wife allows some peeks at the While House Correspondent's Dinner.
     And, no, I still do not know where her pole is.

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April 22 - You just gotta wonder - if Jesus comes back tomorrow, will he recognize his loudest followers?
     The Fort Worth Star-Telegram has an article this morning about so-called Christian lawmakers in Austin acting like Jesus was a mean ole codger.

Another has bills banning chemical dependency clinics within 1,000 feet of a church and enhancing the penalties for prostitution that close to a house of worship.

     By the way, if you read this article you need to know that The Texas Eagle Forum is a group of women who've never read the New Testament or the Constitution. 

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April 22 - Okay, this is what I want to be when I grow up. 

Venus Ramey has earned lots of fame in her 82 years.

She was Miss America 1944 and later a candidate for Cincinnati City Council and worked to save Over-the-Rhine's historic buildings. She performed on Broadway and in movies.

Now, though, she's in the news for another reason.

After confronting a man she said was stealing from her Kentucky farm, Ramey pulled out a gun and shot out a tire on his truck so he couldn't leave, allowing police to arrest him and two others.

     And these are the guys I want to date.

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April 20 - I wonder if bananas fit the terrorist profile.  Thank goodness we had the polcie on this one!

A Midland man was charged Wednesday after allegedly stealing a banana at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport.

According to an arrest affidavit, an airport security guard caught Jeffrey Willard Smith reaching through a locked gate at the Waterloo restaurant inside the terminal. Smith, 49, took the banana, sat down at Gate 10 and ate it, the affidavit said.

Airport police identified Smith after he'd boarded the plane and arrested him. Smith has been charged with burglary, a felony that carries a maximum punishment of two years in state prison.

Smith could not be reached for comment. It's unclear whether he made his flight.

     Whoa boy, wouldn't you hate to go to prison and have to tell Bubba, your cell mate, that you're in for banana-eating?

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April 20 - Texas Senator John Cornyn is drinking whatever John McCain was drinking.
     On CNN this morning, he said that Al Gonzales is incompetent and maybe even lied, but he should stay in office “because the Democrats aren’t gonna be satified with resignation by Al Gonzales.”  And then he accuses Democratic of being political. 
     Maybe he’ll go poof with Bush or pluck some chickens or something. 
     Am I getting smarter or are Republicans getting dumber?

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April 20 - And speaking of Republican wives, The Wall Street Journal reports that Tom DeLay is still under the nakkid bulb at the station house.

Exiting From the Game Doesn't Dispel Clouds

CORRUPTION PROBES keep going even after some players leave Washington.

FBI agents continue to interview aides to former Rep. DeLay, offering immunity in exchange for testimony, individuals close to the investigation say. Justice officials ask whether former aides paid the Texas Republican’s wife $3,200 a month for a no-show job at their lobbying firm. DeLay, who retired last year, is on a book tour.

     Speaking of book tours, DeLay's book still isn't even on Amazondotcom's Top 100 Political Non-Fiction books. Good Lord, John Kerry and Bill Bradley are beating him!
     However, I might should have looked for his book in the fiction category.  I understand he writes about how good looking he was while he was in the Lege.  Humm ... I think I have pictures somewhere.

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April 20 - Roll Call is reporting that another member of The Republican Wives’ Club may be in trouble.  

In a second blow to House Republicans this week, the FBI raided a business tied to the family of Rep. Rick Renzi (R-Ariz.) Thursday afternoon as part of an ongoing investigation into the three-term lawmaker.

Details of the raid on Patriot Insurance Agency in Sonoita, Ariz., were not immediately available. Renzi’s most recent financial disclosure form lists the business as an asset belonging to his wife, Roberta, and valued at $1 million to $5 million.

     But, most importantly to democracy ---

As a result of the raid, Renzi is stepping down from his seat on the House Intelligence Committee, according to a statement from his office obtained Thursday evening by Roll Call.

     We don't need to beat these guys at the polls, because they're dropping out like spotters on a Dick Cheney's game hunt.

     John Doolittle has resigned from the Appropriations Committee. 

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April 19 - And they said we don't allow jackasses to testify in court.  Well, that' just wrong.

DALLAS - Faced with complaints that his donkey was too loud, Dallas attorney Gregory Shamoun decided to bring his case directly to the court: He had the donkey testify.

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April 19 - Oh please somebody stop this man.  Bomb Iran?  Oh Honey, a Beach Boy he's not. 
     John McCain ended his right to be taken seriously when he took his Baghdad stroll.  He now seems determined to make us all say, "tak, tsk" whenever he opens his mouth.

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April 19 - We were all relieved to get rid of Tom DeLay, and it’s hard to complain when your Congresscritter is a Democrat, but ……
     This is an enormous disappointment. 

Concerned by the troop withdrawal timelines in a huge war funding bill, U.S. Rep. Nick Lampson is among a cluster of House Democrats urging Speaker Nancy Pelosi to back away from a showdown with President Bush.

The Stafford Democrat voted last month for the $124 billion spending bill, which included a requirement for the withdrawal of combat troops from Iraq by September 2008.

     Yikes!  I hope Nick Lampson is not going to say he was for it before he was against it.  Or maybe Shelley’s crazy email got to him.
     My feelings moved from disappointment to embarrassment, however, when Lampson said ….. 

 "It sickens me to know that I am a part of this body that would rather play politics rather than come up with the right kind of solution that this country can go forward with," he said. "This isn't a game of gotcha. This is real war, with real people dying every day."

     Yet, isn’t playing politics exactly what Lampson is doing?  To point his finger at other Democrats takes more gall than guts.  In fact, these numbers in the CBS poll suggests that more Americans trust Speaker Pelosi with this war than they do the President. 
     I agree with my friend Kuff, “It's only a compromise if both sides give up something.”   Bush doesn't compromise. 

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April 19 - Our friend Alfredo calls this “the most important political story of the year.”
     He’s probably right.  And it’s breaking today while Alberto Gonzales testifies, once again, that he’s an incompetent idiot.  
     Realizing that they were about to lose the 2006 elections, the White House and the Justice Department implemented a conscious strategy to try and steal the elections by suppressing Democratic voter turnout.

Facing nationwide voter registration drives by Democratic-leaning groups, the administration alleged widespread election fraud and endorsed proposals for tougher state and federal voter identification laws. Presidential political adviser Karl Rove alluded to the strategy in April 2006 when he railed about voter fraud in a speech to the Republican National Lawyers Association.

     I have ceased to be surprised at what these boys will do to retain power. 

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April 19 - Apparently Deb and I weren't the only people to notice that odd passage in the CBS story. It's all over the Internets this morning. 
     There's a larger explanation at Salon now. 
     For a long time I've been wondering how much more of this conservative government we can afford.  Now I'm wondering how many more conservatives want into my my private business before we vote the suckers outta here. 

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April 18 - According to Roll Call (subscription only), Republican Representative and Tom DeLay crony John Doolittle may be the next to bite the dust. 

FBI Raids Doolittle's Home: The FBI has raided the Northern Virginia home of Rep. John Doolittle (R-Calif.), according to Congressional sources. No details are publicly available yet about the circumstances of the raid, but Doolittle and his wife, Julie, have been under federal investigation for their ties to the scandal surrounding imprisoned former lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

     Doolittle took $20,000 from DeLay’s ARMPAC, $12,000 from DeLay staffer Tony Rudy, and $7,500 from DeLay’s former Chief of Staff, Ed Buckham.
     However, as far as we know, he never lied about hoochy-koochy so he's probably an outstanding citizen.

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April 18 - UPDATE:  Marita tells us that it's HB3015
     Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Maybe I’m coming unglued at the seams here, but Deb sent me this article from ABC News that made her do a double-take and now I’m doing a triple-take.
     Here’s the interesting paragraph: 

Some news accounts have suggested that Cho had a history of antidepressant use, but senior federal officials tell ABC News that they can find no record of such medication in the government's files. This does not completely rule out prescription drug use, including samples from a physician, drugs obtained through illegal Internet sources, or a gap in the federal database, but the sources say theirs is a reasonably complete search.

     The federal government knows what medications I’m taking?  What the fool tarnation business is it of theirs?  Where do they get this list?  Who gets to see it? 
     Look, I’m not pressing the panic button yet, but I have had one installed.    
     Does anybody else know anything about this?

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April 18 - For the overly curious, and Heaven knows that's me, the New York Times lets you search to see who your neighbors are supporting for President. 
     Click right about here, and then perform the search to the right of the map by name or zip code, it will take you a page where you can then search by zip code for ALL candidates.

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April 18 - Okay, locals need to get a load out and march to the polls.
     Thanks to research done by Kevin Tunstall and reported by Bob Dunn, the TIRZ gremlins are back and they're still impacting homeowner's taxes.
     Speaking of TIRZ (Tax Increment Reinvestment Zone) in Missouri City, Dunn points out that the areas the city is considering.

Obviously the above two geographic areas are not blighted and are not in any way arresting or impairing growth and development in Missouri City, Texas. These are probably two of the most desirable tracts of commercial land available in the area.

But they still can be considered for TIRZ designation because the Texas Legislature in its wisdom included a paragraph that gives just about any developer a shot at having his or her infrastructure paid for by property taxes.

     Tunstall discovered that Missouri City hasn't even bothered to file the proper paper work for the TIRZ it currently has.  Laws, smaws ....

     Speaking of which, Dunn found that the incumbents on the FBISD hasn't filed their campaign finance reports.  Oh, I can hardly wait for Liz Mitton's "Intheknow's" smug excuses for her bff Lisa Rickert. 

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April 18 - Okay, it’s hump day and that means there’s no better time for a link dump.
     First off, here’s a link Ann sent of a kid who does a dead solid Bush impersonation.  It’s laugh out loud funny.
     For those who cannot turn on the sound at work, I have a laugh for you, too.  Deb sent us this year’s Pulitzer Prize winner for editorial cartoons.  Walt Handelsman deserves it.
     And, less funny or maybe more funny depending on your viewpoint, Linda sent us a great link to someone who is researching where all Tom DeLay’s charitable money went. 
     Click away.

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April 17 - Sometimes the irony is just too thick to cut and too heavy to lift --- 

 AUSTIN -- The permit records of Texans authorized to carry concealed weapons, even in instances when they misuse their licenses or shoot people, would be considered a secret under a proposal moving through the Texas Legislature.

Debate on the bill, which has strong backing from the gun lobby, was briefly postponed Monday, when a gunman killed at least 32 people at Virginia Tech.

     And somebody please remind me why Patrick Rose is a Democrat. 

But the author of the bill, Rep. Patrick Rose, D-Dripping Springs, said the delay was unrelated to the shootings and plans to bring it back up Wednesday.

     I was privy to a conversation between two of my friends yesterday.  It went like this:

Friend #1:  How did the gun lobby get to be so powerful?

Friend #2:  Duh.  Because they have guns.

Guess which one is blonde.

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April 17 - And I wonder who taught them to do that? 

A committee vote to bar state funding for embryonic stem cell research was decried Monday as a "sneak attack" by research advocates. 

Stem cell research advocates said the legislation wasn't discussed at the hearing until at least 1:30 a.m. and that the vote came hours after testimony concluded while the committee was focused on an unrelated border-security bill. 

     I know the Republicans think this is cute – to play Gotcha! with medical research that may save lives and improve the quality of life for countless people. 
     If you have to sneak it through in the middle of the night, then you probably shouldn’t be doing it.
     And they have the gall to call themselves pro-life.

     Speaking of which, the Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club, aka The Spirit of Freedom Women's Club (yes, it's really real), are meeting on Friday, April 20th at 11:30 a.m. at the Fort Bend Chamber of Commerce.  Guest speaker is Gina Parker Ford, President of the National Eagle Forum.  I'm sure they'll have some cooking tips and ideas on that hot feminist topic: "Blue eye shadow: Cool Retro or Gnarly Cyanotic?"  
     I'm going to ask the question:  Is Phyllis Schlafly for real and how 'bout that hair, Girlfriend?

 

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April 17 - I knew it.  I just knew it. 

Pew judged the levels of knowledgeability (correct answers) among those surveyed and found that those who scored the highest were regular watchers of Comedy Central's The Daily Show and Colbert Report. They tied with regular readers of major newspapers in the top spot -- with 54% of them getting 2 out of 3 questions correct. Watchers of the Lehrer News Hour on PBS followed just behind.

Virtually bringing up the rear were regular watchers of Fox News. Only 1 in 3 could answer 2 out of 3 questions correctly. Fox topped only network morning show viewers.

      That explains why I’m such a smarty-pants. 
     What makes Stewart and Colbert so great is that you have to know the news to understand the show.  That’s why Republicans don’t think he’s funny. On the whole, I have found that when a person joins the Republican Party, they must first have a humorectomy.  Seriously, name a funny Republican. Okay, so Dennis Miller is the best you guys can do?    
     But I have a question about the above study.  Is “knowledgeability” a word?  Replace it with the word “knowledge” and the sentence means the same darned thing.  Sound like truthiness to me.  I think the Pew Center is jerking with us to see if we really do watch Colbert.