Email me
 

Dandy Links

Fort Bend Now

Half Empty

Musings

Kuffner

White's Creek
 

Old Stuff

December, 2006
January, 2007
February, 2007
March, 2007

And a big
thanks to

Matocha & Associates
 

Campaign finance reports
 

Bob Hebert
Andy Meyers
Tom Stavinoha
James Patterson

March 30 - Weekend special notice: 
     Rule #1 in Texas is .....

Never hack-off a woman who owns a backhoe!

---

March 30 - Rats, meet lifeboat.

Several impending departures from the White House could further complicate life for the hard-pressed Bush administration.

Peter Wehner, the head of strategic initiatives, and political director Sara Taylor are expected to be heading for the White House exits soon, according to a person familiar with the situation. Barry Jackson, a longtime aide to Karl Rove, also is thought to be leaving soon. A White House spokesman confirmed Wehner’s imminent departure, but declined to comment on the others.

Despite the maelstrom of controversy and complication at the White House these days, all the departures appear to be more-or-less routine turnover. Several of the aides have been with the administration virtually from the outset.

     Routine turnovers, my patootie.  I heard they were leaving for health reasons - sick of Bush.

---

March 30 - Holy fluffy bunny rabbits!  This guy has pictures or something --- 

The White House said Friday it believes Attorney General Alberto Gonzales can survive the uproar over the firing of eight federal prosecutors, a day after his one-time chief of staff undercut Gonzales' account of the firings.

"I can tell you that the president has confidence in him," said Deputy White House press secretary Dana Perino. "The president believes the attorney general can overcome the challenges that are before him."

     I’ve got 4 dollars perfectly good American cash money that says he’s won’t be celebrating Cinco de Mayo as General.  Anybody want to play?
     I guess with approval rating at 33% that's about as low as they can go, even with pictures.

---

March 29 - Okay, now here’s an idea.  Democratic Senator Jon Tester of Montana posts his daily schedule on his website so his constituents will know what he’s doing all day. 
     You know what’s coming, don’t you?
     What would Texas Republican Senator John Cornyn’s daily schedule look like? 

8:00 – Awake to bedside photo of George W. Bush.  Kiss it.

8:30 – Do hair. 

9:00 – Redo hair. 

9:30 – Call Kay and ask her if I can be the Senior Senator from Texas this week. Just this week.  Puuuuullleese. Just a day, huh, maybe just for a day?  Huh?  Huh? 

10:00 – Call Jack Abramoff and remind him that we never, ever discussed Indian casinos – it was “Bindian placebos” that we discussed.

10:30 – Meet with a couple of soldiers. Ask them to salute me. Holler, “Drop!  Incoming!” just for fun.  Soldiers like that.

11:00 – Think up dirty words that rhyme with Pelosi.

11:30 – Call Rush’s radio show, tell them my name is Ted from Vermont and say, “That Cornyn dude should be President!”  Repeat tomorrow as Ted from Wyoming. 

12:00 – Learn to say, “Barbara Boxer” without giggling.

12:30 – Eat beans for lunch.  Chemical warfare with the Democrats on the Judicial Committee.

1:00 – Find my butt with both hands, a road map and a tour guide.  Kiss it.

1:30 – Meet with the Belles of Heaven Republican Women for Truth, Justice, and Big Ole Honkin’ Hair.

2:00 – Meet with Girl Scouts.  Remind them that I love their cookies!

2:30 – Ponder:  if he’s not homosexual, how come his name is Leahy.

3:00 – Ask someone if it’s okay for me to take a power nap since we lost power.

3:30 – Nominate Ann Coulter for Miss Almost Texas!

4:00 – Threaten a couple of judges.

4:30 – Deny threatening judges.  Claim I was misunderstood; I was threatening pudges. 

5:00 – Find an endangered species.  Kill it.

5:30 – Call up people at random and ask, “Are you on America’s side?”  Report results to Karl Rove.

6:00 – Call Clarence Thomas, explain that he wasn’t one of the judges I thought needed killin’ and ask if I can borrow his robe for the weekend. 

6:30 – Sneak up behind Ted Kennedy, tap him on the shoulder and holler “Taxachusetts!” He hates that.

7:00 – Stare lovingly at my Senate pass.  Kiss it goodbye.

---

March 29 - Our friend Rich gave us a heads-up on the Top One Hundred April Fool's jokes. 
     The spaghetti one is pretty good.  I recall a guy on the radio telling a story about how the macaroni crop was bad that year because the winds didn't get heavy enough to blow out the centers. 

---

March 29 - I never ceased to be amazed at what people will do for money. 
     For a job, Bob Barr – yes, that Bob Barr – has decided to do a half gainer triple-axel double flip on his feelings about the wild weed. 

Bob Barr, who as a Georgia congressman authored a successful amendment that blocked D.C. from implementing a medical marijuana initiative, has switched sides and become a lobbyist for the Marijuana Policy Project. 

     Yep, this is the same Bob Barr who led the fight against medical marijuana.
     Now he’s saying that government interference is far more evil than marijuana. 
     For $1.98 he’ll swear that he loves Bill Clinton.  For a crisp twenty dollar bill, he'll light-up in front of you.  You don't even wanna know what he'll do for fifty.  Okay, so maybe you do.  It involves a satellite dish, strawberry jelly, a Barry Manilow eight track tape and Mrs. Fred Thompson. 

---

March 28 - Our friend Alfredo sends Tom DeLay a heads-up.  Yo, dude, sell some more books.
     It seems that Tom DeLay may owe the IRS some major back taxes.  He took Christine on several of his "fact-finding" missions with Jack Abramoff, and now ....

Lawmakers and staff who like to take spouses and children on “fact-finding” missions received some bad news Tuesday.

 IRS Commissioner Mark Everson told a gathering at the National Press Club that politicians are held to “the same standards” as other Americans. He was responding to a question as to whether lawmakers could take family members with them on free trips without reporting that to the IRS.

“We do hold politicians and others to the same standards of the law,” Everson said. “We do hold all Americans to the same standards as to what is income and what is not.”

     Can you even imagine the shock at the DeLay household when they are informed that they shall be treated like other Americans? 
     I give them two weeks before Christine has him out selling those books door to door with a little cart, and a change making machine. 
     I tell ya, I'm still waiting for the $1.99 table at the Bookstop. 

---

March 28 - Wooo, woooo.  Democratic news.  They are lining up to run against John Cornyn!  Kudos to Bob Dunn for the news.
     Of course, I think Rick Noriega is all that, and his wife Melissa is all that and a bag a chips.  He'd be almost impossible to beat in Texas.  Richard Morrison's site to draft Rick is getting great response.
     Your guess is as good as mine for who the Fort Bend connection candidate would be, because Noriega has a Fort Bend connection, too -- his in-laws, Melissa's parents, live here. 

---

March 28 - You know, life without James Dobson around wouldn’t be near as entertaining.  He’s passing judgment on people’s Christianity, again.  He’s not all that wild about Republicans Presidential contender/actor Fred Thompson. 

Focus on the Family founder James Dobson appeared to throw cold water on a possible presidential bid by former Sen. Fred Thompson while praising former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who is also weighing a presidential run, in a phone interview Tuesday. 

"Everyone knows he's conservative and has come out strongly for the things that the pro-family movement stands for," Dobson said of Thompson. "[But] I don't think he's a Christian; at least that's my impression," Dobson added ...

     Deb sent me this picture of Thompson and his lovely new wife, Jeri, who is adorably 25 years younger than he is. I'm sure they met at Bible study or at least wherever Newt and second wife met.  Or was it his third?  I get them all confused.
     Now see, she looks like she'd fit right in over at our local Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club. 
     And, no, I do not know where her pole is.    

---

March 28 - Under the category of "You can say that again, Brother!" Tom DeLay's latest ghost-written article for Townhall is entitled ....

Scooter Libby is no Bill Clinton

     Hell, Tom, Scooter ain't even no Hillary Clinton, but I don't think we mean it in the same way.
     Tom argues that Scooter lied under oath, sure, but it was about something that isn't important.  Like, you know, outing a CIA agent who, I'm sure Tom would argue, had hooters so she couldn't be like, you know, a real CIA agent.  She was a girl, for pete's sake.
     Bill Clinton, on the other hand, lied about something very important.  Hoochy Koochy. 
     Have you ever tried to count the stars in the sky on a clear night?  That's how many times Tom DeLay has lied about Hoochy Koochy. 
     Tom DeLay is having a full-fledged nervous breakdown and he wants us to watch.  Trust me on this, it's gonna get worse.  He's gonna keep saying really insane stuff.  It's so much fun!
     Thanks to Patrick for the heads-up on this one.

---

March 28 - Okay, so Faux Jesus Folks have another poster child.
     Alberto Gonzales’ lawyer will take the Fifth Amendment at the Senate hearing. 

  According to AP and Bloomberg News, Monica Goodling, a counsel to U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales who helped coordinate the dismissals, will invoke her constitutional right not to answer questions.

      There’s nothing odd about a lawyer exercising her constitutional rights.  I strongly support the Constitution, even for writ twits.
     But, what is odd is that Goodling is just doing what Jesus would do? 

Goodling, 33, is a 1995 graduate Messiah College in Grantham, Pa., an institution that describes itself as "committed to embracing an evangelical spirit."

She received her law degree at Regent University in Virginia Beach, Va. Regent, founded by Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson, says its mission is "to produce Christian leaders who will make a difference, who will change the world."

     If you’re going to make a difference and change the world, you probably need to speak up.   

Nevertheless even among the rulers many believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they did not confess Him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God (John 12:42-43).

      Oops.

---

March 27 - Keith Olbermann talks about a treasure in Tom DeLay's book.  I just love You Tube!
     It's a real shame that Tom's book hasn't made even the Top Thirty best seller list.  I haven't bought one yet because I'm waiting until next week when it goes on sale for $1.99.

---

March 27 - On an exceedingly rare serious note, if you haven't read Nora Ephron on Katie Couric, you've missed some wisdom. 
     Shame on you, Katie. 

     With cancer hitting headlines lately, here's a Relay for Life in Fort Bend County in PDF format. Please print it out, write a small check, and mail it to have a luminaria dedicated to someone who died of cancer or is living with cancer.  If you live out of town, please let me know you've donated and I will go take a picture of your luminaria and email it to you.  Twenty bucks isn't a lot of money to do something this nice. 
     It's a beautiful event.  Your luninaria will stay lit all night as teams take turns walking the pathway around them. 

---

March 26 - Please keep Congressman Nick Lampson in your prayers. 

U.S. Rep. Nick Lampson underwent quadruple coronary bypass surgery on Sunday to treat blockages of the arteries on the surface of his heart, Lampson’s office revealed late Monday morning.

Doctors said the surgery went well and that Lampson, D-Stafford, will make a full recovery, according to a statement from the congressman’s office.

---

March 26 - I guess we can be relieved that Nadine Craddick didn't put in the brass toilet.  To be honest, I thought Nadine was more the faux finish and lotsa gold leaf type. 

     Justifying raising one million dollars to redo her house at the Capitol while Texas children were cut from state health insurance, Nadine said ...

"History is so important. We have to understand where we came from to know where we're going."

     Nadine's a damn philosopher, ain't she?
     It's the House that Lobbyists Built, Nadine, so get off your high horse. 
     But, Nadine, don't get too comfortable in your new digs because in two years, Senfronia Thompson is gonna be living in that house. 
     And I'm a friend of Senfronia's so I'll get an invite to dinner or something.  I'm moving that tv, Nadine.  And that mirror is trashy, too.  And that rug....

---

March 26 - Okay, so you need more proof that it’s all about money?  The American Conservative Union, which hates everything Tom DeLay believes in, gave him a position on their board simply because he can raise money. 
     One million dollars.  An amount, I suspect, that he learned from Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace.
     However, four board members resigned over it. 
     The Houston Chronicle adds some details I thought you’d like ---- 

Keene said DeLay had proposed an effort under which he'd raise $1 million for a grassroots lobbying effort, which DeLay would then run. But that idea was shelved when Keene and DeLay failed to agree on some of the details of how it would operate, Keene said. 

     Yeah, like Keene wanted to use it for conservative causes and DeLay wanted to use it for golf and cigars.
     Wouldn’t you have loved to be a fly on the wall for that discussion!

---

March 25 - Thank you, Nick Anderson!

---

March 24 - On the other hand, maybe Tom DeLay will take a trip to the pokey.
     The Washington Post has some inside sources that say it's a good thing Tom got his book out so fast that even he didn't have time to read it because the Convicted Felon Bargain Table over at Bookstop got discontinued after O.J. got found not guilty.

The Griles plea comes at a time when the Justice Department is being criticized by congressional Democrats who have alleged that the Bush administration fired several U.S. attorneys because they pursued corruption investigations of Republicans or did not swiftly bring charges against Democrats. Several of the more than 40 career law-enforcement officials working on the Abramoff task force said there is a vigorous, ongoing investigation of current and former Republican members of Congress.

 

Among those who have been convicted or pleaded guilty in the scandal besides Abramoff are former Congressman Bob Ney, R-Ohio; David Safavian, former deputy director of the White House Office of Management and Budget; and several former congressional aides who had become lobbyists, including two who once worked for Tom DeLay, R-Texas, when he was House majority leader. DeLay resigned from Congress last year and is a figure in the continuing probe, sources familiar with the investigation have said.

     The above bolding is mine.  I might start highlighting the good parts.  It's just another free friendly customer service we offer here. 
     Okay, so now we get the deal with the words, "vigorous, ongoing investigation of current and former Republican members of Congress."  Members.  With an S.  Oh be still my heart. 
     Anybody want to offer-up names?  Or how 'bout Names We Hope To See?

---

March 23 - Matt Angle over at the Lone Star Project has an interesting take on why Tom DeLay isn't sitting in stinkin' jail.  Matt's a smart guy and has been following this stuff closely. 

Is DOJ Shielding DeLay?
As Tom DeLay resurfaces, Republican Public Integrity Chief may be stalling investigation

Almost two years ago, the Lone Star Project helped break the story of how partisan political appointees within the Voting Rights Section of the Justice Department overruled professional voting rights experts to approve Tom DeLay's Texas redistricting scheme. Under George W. Bush, partisan bureaucrats and political operatives have been systematically embedded within federal agencies to do the Republican Party’s political bidding.

     Go read it.  It's important.  I would not send you on a fool's errand and neither would Matt Angle.

---

March 22 - Hummmmm……
     Do you think Abramoff may be ratting-out Tom DeLay?   

Reduced sentence in works for Abramoff

'Some of the information provided by the defendant to the government within one year of the [March 29, 2006, SunCruz] sentencing did not become useful to the government until recently because it concerns the investigation of others outside the Southern District of Florida,'' prosecutor Paul Schwartz wrote in his filing.

     I have some very cynical friends who suspect that Tom’s recent shouts-outs are well-planned, just like all his other political moves.  Tom knows a federal indictment is coming.  He’s doing all this crazzzy-man talking about his own political party so he can claim, “See, they just want to shut me up,” when the indictment does come down.
     I am not that cynical …. yet.  I think he’s just addicted to teevee cameras.  However, I am likely to change my mind about that if he keeps it up.  Tom is a conniving son of a motherless goat.

---

March 22 - Tom DeLay has more excuses than the Lamar High School attendance office.
     You just gotta see this You Tube.  This is so typical of Tom.  Watch him say, "Who ya gonna believe?  Me or your lying eyes?" 
     And from our friends at Fire Dog Lake ---

---

March 22 - Oh my, how times have changed ....

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich said in Nashville that the personal lives of White House hopefuls shouldn't become an issue in the 2008 campaign.

     It seems that Newt's pants fit a little loose in the family values area.

---

March 21 - So maybe I did too many drugs in the 60’s or something, but I’m having flashbacks.
     I was listening to the radio the other night and heard that Fred Fielding is Bush’s writ twit.  Fred Fielding?  Nah, it couldn’t be.  Not Fred Fielding of Watergate fame.  Nooooo….  Yesssss……… 

He served as Associate Counsel for President Richard Nixon from 1970 to 1972.

     So, I’m feeling kinda shaky, thinking maybe I accidentally took acid and didn’t know it but now I’m having flashbacks, when this comes up from Josh Marshall ---- 

…the emails released by the Justice Department seem to have a gap between November 15th and December 4th of last year.

      That’s 18 days.  Creepy.  Rosemary Woods, 18 minutes. 
     Then, I was talking to Momma yesterday and she said that Bush had better get us out of Viet Nam before we lose everything and don’t have enough of a military to protect this country.  I replied with a shaky voice, “Momma, you said Viet Nam.”  She said, “I did, didn’t I?” 
     Yep – it feels like déjà vu all over again.

---

March 21 - Spread the word - keep another Tom DeLay from happening.
     Only you can prevent Congressvarmints.

---

March 21 - Okay, here's the deal.  We're all going to start rooting for Tom DeLay because he's causing far more trouble for them than he is for us.
     Roll Call (subscription only) did a story today entitled "DeLay Prompts Revolt at ACU: Conservative Group Roiled."
     I don't know any liberals who can roil a conservative group, so Go, Tom, Go! (By the way, the headline writer must have look up that particular definition because it's so cool in this case.)

“He carried the water for some of the biggest government expansions in the history of the republic,” said Marc Rotterman, a North Carolina political strategist who quit the board after DeLay was nominated. “We looked at Tom DeLay to stop those kinds of bills, not to promote them. He was complicit.”

     You just gotta love Roll Call - get yourself a subscription.

---

March 21 - Okay, now it’s personal.  Tom DeLay is now lying about me. 
     In today’s Houston Chronicle, Craig Hines quotes extensively from Tom DeLay’s book so you don’t have to go buy it.
     But the part that caused Bubba to spit cornflakes across the breakfast room floor and holler, “Susan, bring the Bible in here right now and hold it over this newspaper before something gawdawful happens,” is this ---

That leads up to DeLay describing how, in his Austin heyday he acquired the nickname "Hot Tub Tom," which he says was coined by Beverly Carter of the Fort Bend Star, and how he deserved it. "I slept with women I wasn't married to."

     Bev Carter most certainly did not coin that phrase.  She did, however, pay my salary to coin that phrase and, to her everlasting credit, she did allow me to print it in her newspaper. I coined it. Well, see, that’s not true either.  Bubba coined it. Here’s how it happened.
     A former State Representative, who shall remain nameless, told me stories about Tom’s behavior in Austin, including Macho Manor Apartments, the Capitol Club, that little post office employee, hot tubs, and other stuff you can’t put on a family website.
     I came home and told Bubba all about it.  Bubba was enjoying the stories of self-righteous Tom and when I got to the hot tub part, he shouted out …. you guessed it …. Bitchin’ Betty and the Sequined Backhoes! 
     No, I’m just kidding.  Bitchin’ Betty and the Backhoes are my creation, but Bubba coined Hot Tub Tom right there on the spot.  I have witnesses.
     I printed it in Bev’s newspaper.  Tom pitched a fit, denying it all.  For 15 years he went around here telling people that I was just making stuff up about him.  He was righteous, pure, but maybe – just maybe – he drank just a tiny tad too much, just a tee wennie little bit mind you, but that was all.  He told everyone that I was the biggest liar east of San Francisco.
     I begged him to sue me.  Now we know why he didn’t. 
     Okay, so I was lucky enough to live long enough to see him finally admit that he truly was Hot Tub Tom and deserved that nickname.  But, the lying son of a motherless goat wouldn’t even give me credit for it. Damn, I feel like Moses.  I saw the Promised Land but didn’t get to go.
     That’s why he’s still a twit in my book.
     Hey Tom, what about Sweetwater Joann?  We're gonna do this again, son.   

     If anybody’s interested, here’s some of the things I wrote about Tom, but it only goes back to 1998. 

---

March 20 - Oh dear, somebody's getting a little testy.

Besides his considerable security contingent, the chief executive was accompanied by Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove and Press Secretary Tony Snow.

A reporter approached Rove to ask him what he thought of rumors that former Missouri Sen. Jack Danforth could replace embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. “How about you go over there and do your job,” Rove replied, pointed back to the media pool.

     Let me get this straight:  Meier and Rove are willing to "inform" the Congress as long as informing doesn't involve the truth.
     Why do these people have such a hard time with swearing the tell the truth?  It's simple - people all over America do it in courthouses everyday. 
     Remember when Republicans believed in oaths and telling the truth and partisan politics?  I do.

---

March 20 - A couple more smart questions like that and Meredith can get a job here.

Vieria : You say to fight, but the name of your book is " No retreat, No Surrender," but didn't you give up your battle?

 Delay: No…(timidly) I just changed arenas..hahahaha

Vieria: But in essence you did, You stepped aside.

Delay: Well, in politics you gotta make certain decisions for personal reasons…

     Personal reasons?  Like you're fixing to be outted as a crook and a liar?  Yep, that would be personal.

---

March 20 -  Alfredo says it happened. 
     Hell froze over. 
     He agrees with Tom DeLay.

Former House Republican Leader Tom DeLay had said earlier Tuesday that the scandal "is just a taste of what's going to be like for the next two years."

---

March 20 - Apparently, Tom DeLay’s vicious personal attacks of Newt Gingrich isn’t staying on for the full nine seconds with Texas Republicans. 
     The Dallas Morning News did a survey of Texas Republican insiders – the GOP State Executive Committee – and found that they like Newt.   

None of the GOP presidential front-runners has generated much support among Republican Party loyalists in Texas, whose early favorite to head the ticket in 2008 hasn't even announced – Newt Gingrich.

     But mostly, they don’t like any of the field. 
    Hey Guys, I hear there’s another Bush looking for his place in the family business. 

---

March 20 - The Commissioner Tom Stavinoha Memorial Landfill has progressed another step forward.
     Although citizens are fighting it, it's like trying a turn a pair of boots back into an alligator - especially when your county commissioner sees dollar signs.
     Gather 'round and figure this ----

Without being able to expand the facility from its current 302-acre “waste footprint,” where refuse is permitted to be piled up to 58 feet high, the landfill will be full in 13 years. Increasing the footprint to 784 acres, and the allowable height to 170 feet, would extend the life of the landfill for 40 years.

     Okay, picture a 170 foot tall landfill that covers almost 800 acres.  They're building a damn mountain range of stink. 
     Stavinoha better plan another trip to Hawaii this summer just in case the wond shifts.

---

March 20 - And the email just keeps on coming ---

     That is one cool book. 

---

March 19 - Email from Patrick:

     Communist.  That's so nifty.  It's been 20 years since someone called me a Commie.  But it has a good ring to it and Lord knows I've missed it.
     Okay, so we're out to destroy Tom because we're Commies.  Got that, but what's Tom for trying to destroy Newt?  Good-Fascist-in-Training?
     And what is Tom for devoting 8 years of his life trying to destroy Bill Clinton personally?  Uh, Dork?  Nerd?Twit?  Nincompoop?  Hey, I'm running out of names here.
     So, Patrick, in answer to your question, "... is he rallying sympathy or trying to push his new book?" ... my answer is this story:
     A friend of mine flew home from DeeCee last Friday and Tom DeLay was on the plane.  Only this time instead of flying first class, Tom DeLay was flying third class.  Third class.  No corporate jet of his own, no free wine - third class.
     Tom DeLay is trying to "be somebody," Patrick, but if that fails, he'll settle for lots of money.  After all, there are no third class golf courses.
     Sometimes I feel sorry for him, but not much and not often.

---

March 18 - Tom DeLay has scheduled a book signing in Sugar Land on march 27th.  I've already making sign to take!

     The Washington Post gets a "No shoot, Sherlock" quote from DeLay.

Mr. DeLay, who is trying through his book and a Web site to become an influential conservative voice outside Congress, does admit to a dark side. “We are all flawed,” he writes in the book. “And my flaw is that I can sometimes be aggressive, even mean.”

---

March 18 - Our friend Dave passes this along ---

New Republican slogan:
'Prosecutors will be violated.'

---

March 18 - Yeah, yeah, Tom DeLay was on Meet the Press.
     Yeah, yeah, he’s still bitter, divisive, mean, and a chicken hawk.
     Yeah, yeah, he said we can't retreat and surrender and Iraq, but that's exactly what he did in District 22.
     Yeah, yeah, he wants your child to fight in Iraq, but not his.
     Yeah, yeah, he should be in stinkin’ jail.    
     But, look at it this way – it was Sunday morning and he wasn’t in church.  Maybe they finally kicked him out.

---

March 18 - Oh great, now they're trying to kill our pets.
     Am I the only person who thinks all this bad food is just a little weird? 

A major manufacturer of dog and cat food sold under Wal-Mart, Safeway, Kroger and other store brands recalled 60 million containers of wet pet food Friday after reports of kidney failure and deaths.

     Oh, just wait until they find out that I have a dog named Truman. 

---

March 17 - Okay, so I'm listening to the radio late last night and up pops this little bit of news.  I thought I was hearing things until Deb sent it to me on the Internet machine.

Members of extremist groups have signed up as school bus drivers in the United States, counterterror officials said Friday, in a cautionary bulletin to police. An FBI spokesman said "parents and children have nothing to fear."

Asked about the alert notice, the FBI's Rich Kolko said "there are no threats, no plots and no history leading us to believe there is any reason for concern," although law enforcement agencies around the country were asked to watch out for kids' safety.

     Nothing to fear?  I dunno, in my version of the English language, a warning is generally to steer you away from something harmful.  I mean, rarely do you see a sign with "Warning! A birthday party!"  Or, "Warning! You just won the lottery!" 
     And why would you send the bulletin to the police?  Why wouldn't you send it to .... oh, I dunno ... the people who freekin' hire school bus drivers maybe?
     Let me guess:  This warning was sent out by a a Bush appointee? 
     I'm tellin' ya - we gotta get rid of these guys.  They're tinkering with our minds now. 

---

March 16 - Democratic State Representative Dora Olivo has developed a bad case of what my grandmother used to call “titched in the head.”
     As if we don’t have other pressing needs in this legislative district, Olivo has gone and authored – not sponsored, not supported – but authored, dammit, the anti-stem cell research bill in the Texas House.
     We have three state representatives from Fort Bend County. You’d think at least one of them would support stem cell research.  But, no, the only Democratic voice we have in Austin is leading the way, arming the troops, and yelling the loudest to kill stem cell research in Texas. 
     If Dora Olivo feels it is her duty to shove her personal religious beliefs down my throat, then I suggest that she needs to join either the Republican Party or the Taliban.  Her choice. 
     She is the only Democrat with her name on that bill.
     She can take a number and stand in line behind Charlie Howard to kiss my big blue butt. 

---

March 16 - Okay, so I’m not saying that the Fort Bend County delegation to Austin is worthless as last year’s lottery ticket, but …… well, now wait.  I think that’s exactly what I’m saying.
     State Rep. Charlie Howard, who acts like he’s Jesus’ official translator to us common sinners, has introduced another religion-in-school bill.
     Okay, here’s the deal. I’ll be for religion in school when they start teaching algebra in church.
     The schools have enough to do without fretting over Charlie’s religious practices. 
     To make matters even more hypocritical, Charlie homeschooled all his kids, but wants to tell us how to do things in the real world. 

---

March 16 - Oh lookie, this is cute.
     Tom DeLay blames a vast right-wing conspiracy for his downfall.

 Gingrich is not the only erstwhile political ally to feel DeLay's wrath. In "No Retreat, No Surrender: One American's Fight," DeLay is even more critical of his predecessor as majority leader, Dick Armey, and assails George W. Bush as being more compassionate than conservative. Even the man DeLay handpicked to succeed Gingrich as speaker, J. Dennis Hastert, is accused along with Gingrich and Armey of opening the door to the Democratic purge of DeLay.

     Now we know why Newt admitted the affair.  He knew DeLay was about to do it for him. 
     What a vicious little witch DeLay turned out to be!

---

March 15 - Okay guys, when you're real bored, go on over to amazon dot com , scroll down, and read the "tags" that customers have put on Tom DeLay's new book.

---

March 15 - Hiding Hooters.  There’s just got to be a country/western song about this.
     Roll Call (subscription only) has a story that can’t help but catch your eye.  It was about how come politicians hide the donors to certain PACs.

Last June, a political action committee called the Freedom, Security, Prosperity PAC formed and started collecting checks from Florida donors.

The fund was not identified with any federal candidate, but there were some clues as to who might be behind it: The majority of donors were executives at Hooters, the suggestively named chain of restaurants known for its busty wait staff in short shorts and tight tops.

      If there’s not already a country song about Hiding Hooters’ Donors, we’re gonna have to buckle down and write one.

---

March 15 - Politico reviews Tom DeLay's new book, and quotes from the forward ....

Rush Limbaugh says it is "sad" that "in the end there were very few people willing to stand up for DeLay and try to refute some of these baseless charges that were bandied around about him." Then Sean Hannity weighs in to say he thinks the country would "would be better off if all 435 members of the House were just like Tom Delay – "relentless in defense of traditional values" and "savvy about politics."

     Sorry, Sean, but there's not enough golf balls, cigars, hussies and kickbacks in the entire world for all 435 members of Congress to be just like Tom. 
     And there was one small hint about why DeLay was never able to keep staff around very long ....

His practical advice for new members of Congress includes "involve your wife in all hiring," which he certainly did, so that the staff knows she outranks them.

     Yeah, but Christine thinks she outranks God. 

---

March 15 - Tom DeLay is returning to the scene of the crime!  He's having a book signing in DeeCee.  It's at the Capitol Hill Club, and I wonder if Jack Abramoff is coming?
     By the way, it's nice to know that Dani DeLay Fero still has a job.
     You know the drill, click the little one to get the big one.

     And you, too, can RSVP right here.

---

March 14 - Our friend David pointed us to an article linking Tom DeLay / Jack Abramoff / Bush / and the US Attorney firings.

A US grand jury in Guam opened an investigation of controversial lobbyist Jack Abramoff more than two years ago, but President Bush removed the supervising federal prosecutor, and the probe ended soon after.

The previously undisclosed Guam inquiry is separate from a federal grand jury in the District of Columbia that is investigating allegations that Abramoff bilked Indian tribes out of millions of dollars.

     Bush is beginning to make Nixon look like a piker.

---

March 14 - This couldn't be good.

All sleeping pills, including the blockbusters Ambien and Lunesta, may sometimes cause a bizarre but dangerous side effect -- sleep-driving, the Food and Drug Administration warned Wednesday.

     I think they can also cause sleep-legislating, which would explain State Rep.