Fort Bend Now
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May 31 -
BREAKING! Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace reads the
writing on the wall. He's outta politics.
Over the past several months, I have
fielded an increasing number of questions regarding the
upcoming election for Congressional District 22. While
this is a position in which I am confident I could serve
the constituency well, this is not the most favorable
time for me to launch a campaign of this magnitude and
to devote the ongoing time required of this important
In November of 2006, I partnered with
Costa Bajjali to form a new company, Wallace Bajjali
Development Partners LP. Just as with any new venture,
this business requires a concentrated investment of my
time and energy right now. I believe strongly that I owe
it to my partner, Costa Bajjali, our investors, as well
as my family, to make this my priority at this time.
It has been my distinct honor to
serve the citizens of Sugar Land as Mayor for three
terms. It has truly been a dream job. Since the early
days when Sugar Land was a company town, through its
phenomenal growth, to today as we realize our great
potential, this has been a community dedicated to
excellence. I have been proud to work
shoulder-to-shoulder with the outstanding men and women
elected to City Council and the exceptional City Manager
and staff to help Sugar Land take its place among the
best cities in the nation.
However, as I stated last Fall, I
will not be seeking a fourth term as Mayor for the very
same reason that I will not pursue the congressional
office at this time. My early announcement of this
decision was designed to give citizens ample opportunity
to carefully consider who they would like to have as
their next mayor. I stand by this decision.
May 31 - Welcome
Guerilla Women. One small mention, and half the
State of Tennessee comes to my website.
Hope you have some fun here!
May 31 -
Don't forget - today is Farmer's Market day in Needville.
They now even
have a website!
May 31 -
there goes the conspiracy theory neighborhood.
– Gov. Rick Perry is flying to Istanbul, Turkey, today
to speak at the super-secret Bilderberg Conference, a
meeting of about 130 international leaders in business,
media and politics.
The invitation-only conference was started in 1954 and
named for the Dutch hotel where the conference was first
held. Those who attend promise not to reveal what was
discussed, security is tight, and the press and public
The conference has been the subject of conspiracy
theorists and even Christian groups who wonder about its
year, the conference was held in Ottawa, and the
Toronto Star reported that it had received an
unsigned press release saying that the 2006 group
included David Rockefeller, Henry Kissinger, Queen
Beatrix of Holland, New York Gov. George Pataki, media
moguls, high-level officials from Spain and Greece, and
the heads of Coca-Cola, Credit Suisse and the Royal Bank
Look, there’s a perfectly logical explanation.
They’re going to turn Rick Perry into a Cyborg just like
they did George W. Bush, run him for President and then go
to war against California.
Don’t believe me, huh? Well, can you give me any
other reason why Rick Perry would get an invitation
I didn’t think so.
May 31 - For your
end of the month laugh, Judge Susan Criss in Galveston
offers this story.
Mizhonor, as we call Judge Criss around here, does not
blog enough to keep me completely entertained every day. I
have complained bitterly to her about it, and even
notified the proper authorities, but she has another
May 31 - We get
email to keep me from having to work.
picture of him to add to your collection. I've
never seen a politician as un-photogenic as he
is in my life.
I didn't know
he was a TV star; the article says that he
currently stars as District Attorney Arthur
Branch on "Law and Order." I wonder if he
thinks he's well educated about the legal system
from all that studying of the TV scripts.
Just an Observer
May 30 - If I
say it's Christmas, you better go
buy some little twinkling lights, Honey.
The Texas Blue see the hat in the ring, as does
The Hill. Mikal Watts is tossing his sombrero.
Smart money says Rick Noriega will also get in the
race, but John Sharp won't.
May 30 - We even
get email from the Hill Country.
I knew you want to get those Blue Dallasites
Check this out.
NOTE FROM SUSAN: for you outta-towners,
Dallas went big and blue in the last election.
May 30 - We get
email about Mario Gallegos.
Hi, Susan. I thought I'd
share this news with my big blue butt
cohorts. Thank goodness we have guys like Mr.
Gallegos to offset our overabundance of crazies!
Stephanie up in
May 30 -
is just a sweet and loving suggestion for the political
season from someone who’s been playing this sport for a
If you’re going to set up your first ever campaign
website, it’s not a good idea to feature the one activity
that your opponents will hammer you for.
Sheriff Milton Wright, who spends more time on the
golf course than Arnold Palmer, features
pictures of himself making bad pitch shots on his website.
Look for these pictures on his opponents’ campaign
Plus, when you’re an uneducated goofball who picks
his nose in public, try to find that picture of yourself
that doesn’t scream, “Oh
Lookie, Ethel! Barney Fife pulled us over for
Another thing, please let someone who is vaguely
familiar with English write the script. Cut and paste
of those attending expressed their looking forward to
next year's event, as each year the tournament has
not to be left out of the chance to drive a golfball,
made his way around the course and provide a shot
for each team to consider using in the scramble event.
Sheriff is more than just a man with a nine iron. But I
think this says it all, directly from his website …..
Milton maintains a peaceful mind by squeezing in a
friendly game of golf every so often, but he is most
recognized outside law enforcement for his passion and
skill with the accordion.
That’s the first qualities I look for in my sheriff – golf
and accordion playing skills.
Look, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it - Milton
maintains a “peaceful mind” because there ain’t nothing in
it. A pond with no fish looks peaceful, too.
This is 2007, Milton, buy a damn calendar and check
I tried to fix the
sentence but it still has its flaws.
Many of those
attending expressed their
looking forward to
anticipation of next year's event,
as each year
the tournament has grown each year.
It doesn’t follow
that one looks forward to a tournament because it
has gotten larger each year.
I blame the
Texas school system
and their stupid, stupid teachers.
NOTE FROM SUSAN: For the outta-towners: Hal is
being ironic with his last sentence. Hal is
May 29 -
my friend Carol in Vermont says, you can’t make
this stuff up. Tom DeLay just can't stay out of
The difference between his own adultery and Gingrich's,
he said, "is that I was no longer committing adultery by
that time, the impeachment trial. There's a big
difference." He added, "Also, I had returned to Christ
and repented my sins by that time."
DeLay also says that the impeachment trial was
another of his "proudest moments." Tom, Dude, calm down
because karma is a nasty handmaiden. What is it that
comes before a fall? Oh yeah, now I remember …
Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit
before a fall..-- Proverbs 16: 18
Somebody clear a path and put out some pillows because
Tom’s fixing to make a big ole hole in the sidewalk, or a
giant cannonball into somebody's hot tub. Now, that
would be perfect.
Holy Mother of the Insane, have mercy on us.
"God has spoken to me," DeLay said.
"I listen to God, and what I've heard is that I'm
supposed to devote myself to rebuilding the conservative
base of the Republican party, and I think we shouldn't
does he mean the conservatives, or him and God? No,
seriously, this matters. Mental health professionals
will want to know.
Thanks to Kathy for the heads-up.
Read the whole story here.
If, for some unimaginable reason, God really did
have an interest in rebuilding the conservative
base of the Republican Party, why in the sam hill
would he communicate that to us through Tom
DeLay? That God – such a kidder!
It wouldn't be the first time
God has spoken through the mouth of a jackass.
I do believe ole Tom is going to provide us with a
few laughs before he goes to the slammer, he’s
about as well equipped to handle prison life as
Paris Hilton, and as far as I know she doesn’t
May 29 -
Five feet high and rising.
Bob Dunn over at Fort Bend Now is giving us some
predictions on the Brazos River. It appears to be
changing course through my kitchen.
Here's the bad news. If you look at the map at
the bottom, you can see my street.
Check this, and see that The River went from 17 feet
on Sunday to 32 feet today. And we've got another
week of rain coming.
If you see me on the news on my roof hollering for
help, come get me, dammit.
Actually, I dated Helen Highwater for a few years.
Very attractive but really weird...She probably
says the same thing about me, except for that
"attractive" part. We ugly men got good points,
too, but Daddy said I ain't allowed to brag in a
family forum or even an ex-beauty shop. I dumped
Helen for a remote broadcast TV girl, and that was
fun but she was way too kinky for me and dumped me
(You believe that?) for that traveling
Anyway, you guys have our rain. We're about a
foot low, so far, and it's not looking to get
better before it gets worse. (Where have I heard
So I'm sitting here sipping something cool and wet
and being envious while you guys are hogging all
the rain. Come on! It ain't fair and you guys know
it. While you guys are sitting on the roof,
all our spring lizards are drying up and we'll
have to switch to chicken gizzards and trot lines
for a respectable fishin' trip out here.
Next thing you know, we won't have enough well
water to make beer. That, my friend, will throw a
ton of folks out of work. Mostly those who were so
big and dumb they had to go into criminal justice
at the Community college...And No! You cannot
quote me on that. I have to get home from
Margaritaville every Friday night. It's what
passes for church in my little circle of over
So... I'm sorry you guys need to brush up on your
canoe strokes. I hope you get by OK, and
remember... Some of those mushrooms that show up
in the cow pastures about two weeks after the rain
finally stops are edible.
May 29 -
is it with Republican men? Why can’t they say the words,
“I made a mistake.”
Texas Secretary of State Geoffrey Connor, a Rick
Perry appointment (eye rolling acceptable here),
has decided to use the George Bush excuse – “I didn’t
get enough information but that’s not my fault. That’s
everybody else’s fault.”
More Texas counties are abandoning a centralized voting
records system after experiencing difficulties in the
May 12 election, as the state struggles to get it
Critics of the system, known as Texas Election
Administration Management, or TEAM, say former Texas
Secretary of State Geoffrey Connor made a mistake by
accepting the higher of two final bids for an unproven
Connor says the critics are wrong. "I remain confident
that we made the best decision we could at the time with
the information that was available," Connor said.
Well, Honey, going home with the ugliest man in the bar at
2:00 a.m. when you’re drunk might be the best decision you
could make at the time with the information that’s
available, but that don’t mean it’s the smartest idea. I
guess you could blame the bartender for the lack of
lighting and the exclusion of the No Brains, No Service
rule, but when it comes down to it, it was your decision.
And don’t even get me going on the money these Republicans
have wasted on the voting machines – especially in this
county – where we did buy the blasted Hart system. It
takes Jedi mind tricks to vote on those things.
Remember when our county Election
Commissioner told us that we needed to go to
electronic voting because we were all too dumb
to color in the little ovals on those optical
scan ballots that we'd only been using for like 20
years? Then they make us use these faith-based Hart
machines instead--which remind me of Russian
Roulette, can't think why. Then they tell you that
your vote has been cast when "the flag waves." I
just wasn't expecting it to be a Confederate
Flag, is all. Am I missing something
I know how to use a
May 29 -
Scientists have discovered 28 new planets ----
HONOLULU--Astronomers have discovered 28 new planets
outside of our solar system, increasing to 236 the
number of known exoplanets, revealing that planets can
exist around a broad spectrum of stellar types--from
tiny, dim stars to giants.
And we’re wondering which one Paul Wolfowitz is living
Wolfowitz blames media for exit
outgoing president of the World Bank, Paul Wolfowitz,
has told the BBC an "overheated" atmosphere at the bank
and in the media forced him to resign.
Rumsfeld, Bolton, and Wolfowitz – the Trifecta of
Incompetence. And none of them will accept
Enough is enough, Boys. There’s 28 planets where you
might be believed again. And, if you’re going to stick
with those stories, we can arrange to have your butts
May 28 - The
Austin American Statesman says that
Lampson is NOT running for Senate. He will stay
in 22nd and defend his seat.
Let's hope Lampson's staff starts
I think this means that
Mikal Watts is in the race, because Watts was going
to be Lampson's major fundraiser if Watt didn't run
It's Rick Noriega's race to have if he wants it.
May 28 - My
airmen returned home.
But my heart aches for the
daughters, mothers, and wives who cannot say that.
May their Memorial Day bring the peace that passeth all
May 28 -
Copernicus must be resting easy in his grave. At
they didn’t make Pat Robertson the center of the
CREATION MUSEUM, a $27-million tourist attraction
promoting earth science theories that
were popular when Columbus set sail, opens near
Cincinnati on Memorial Day. So before the first visitor
risks succumbing to
the museum's animatronic balderdash —
dinosaurs and humans actually coexisted! the Grand
Canyon was carved by the great flood described in
Genesis! — we'd like to clear up a few things: "The
Flintstones" is a cartoon, not a documentary. Fred and
Wilma? Those woolly mammoth vacuum cleaners? All
As John Mayer, the young American poet says, “Belief is a
makes for the heaviest sword.”
Or as Thelma, my favorite poet/philosopher says, “These
people are nuttier than pecan pie.”
These folks have one darned little tiny God. And
they ain’t gonna be happy until you do, too.
I get to email you twice in a week! Cool! We're
hearing a lot about this creation museum down here
because the bloke behind it is Australian (for which
I feel an unaccountable urge to apologise). He
claims to have gotten the idea as a science teacher
(FSM protect us all) when his students pointed out
the conflict between what he was teaching and his
fundie beliefs. I am relieved for the future of my
country that he had to go somewhere else to get the
backing, though I'm sorry for your sake that the
somewhere he went was the US. There was a radio
interview with him this morning in which he said
that he expected "half a million people a year to
visit and make up their own minds". Now, I see two
things wrong with this sentence. First, the sort for
people who would go to this place aren't likely to
be going to make up their minds - they'll be going
either to have their ideas reinforced or to sneer.
Second, in a country the size of the US, with such
an apparently large proportion of loopy individuals,
I'd expect the Museum of Toe Jam to pull in close to
half a million people a year. Or am I being unduly
Disclaimer: I teach IT and Science.
May 28 - We get
email. And sometimes complaints.
Ron Paul was on Bill Maher's Real Time this week.
What a shame there aren't more in both parties that
think incisively about US foreign policy. I guess
it's sadly ironic that we have a Republican
representative that thinks like a Democrat and a
Democrat who thinks like a Republican.
I've contacted Nick Lampson on several occasions to
express my displeasure about his voting record in
Congress and haven't even been able to generate an
automatic reply. During his campaign I heard from
his headquarters on a daily or more basis.
To add my two cents on Nick Lampson: let us not
forget that in the early days just prior to our
invasion of Iraq, Congressman Nick Lampson was in
Turkey, urging that country’s leaders to allow us
to use Turkey as a northern staging area for our
military campaign. Nick Lampson supported the
war, once again proving that even Democrats can be
sadly mistaken. (And surely we can find a better
Democratic candidate to run against John Cornyn.)
May 27 -
is a public service announcement for locals.
best kept secret in the county is the Needville Farmer’s
Market. Located directly across Highway 36 from Needville
High School (look for the signs), it’s open every Thursday
from about 4:00 until everything’s sold. Get there early.
You can buy free range eggs, fresh produce, goat milk,
special ground coffees, and even some hand lotion that
would make an alligator cuddly.
Put a note on your calendar to get down there next
Thursday, but anybody who buys all the corn or peaches
before I get there is a very bad person.
May 26 -
you just gotta love the Texas Lege, especially Speaker Tom
They had a World Federation of Politics last night.
House members, mainly Republicans, are trying to
remove Craddick from the speakership.
Earlier, the Texas Eagle forum sent out an emergency
message to members claiming a "coup d'etat" was taking
place in the House and urged members to call Republican
lawmakers to pledge loyalty to Craddick.
Now, that’s funny. The Texas Eagle Forum, calling it a
coup d’etat. I thought they only spoke German.
Texas Department of Public Safety officers took
positions outside the House to be ready if called upon
to restore order.
"This was a scene out of
Lord of the Flies," said Rep. Joaquin
Castro, D-San Antonio.
Joaquin was closer than anybody to being right with the
Lord of the Flies reference - pre-teen boys stranded on an
island, struggling for power, yep – The Lege.
Legislators charged toward the dais shouting, ''No! No!
No!'' as Craddick walked off toward his office behind
the House chamber.
Rep. Rick Noriega, D-Houston, attempted to get to the
microphone on the dais, he said, to continue the rules
discussion, but was blocked by House sergeants.
Rick has faced down Afghan Warlords, which makes him
uniquely prepared to be in The Lege. Rick is about 5
foot, 17 inches. If I saw him coming, I’d move.
The night ended with Craddick and the lovely Nadine
going back to their manufactured home in the Capitol.
That’s a real shame because this State has enough stoopid
people without making their king Speaker of the House.
Re: World Federation of Politics
Now that, I'd watch. I'd even pay for the privilege.
I still think the Taiwanese would come out ahead on
May 25 -
My band, Bitchin’ Betty and the Sequined Backhoes, had a
practice session this afternoon. I asked them to pose for
pictures for the website, but this is the best they’d do.
Seems they’re afraid of creepy Republican stalkers lately,
and then there’s that whole
Dean Hrbacek running for Congress thing. Made
everybody’s mascara run. Yes, it did.
We ran out of sacks for Sara and Helen, so they just
acted disinterested. Not hard to do in this group.
We’re working on a tune for somebody to use to
run for Precinct 1 Commissioner. It’s harder than Chinese
algebra to come up with negative words that rhyme with
Stavinoha, however, stay-a-ho-uh comes close.
And yes, we're trying to get Ann to use a glass instead
of drinking from the bottle.
that's pathetic. You think we all don't
recognize those ta-tas from a mile off? We've
seen the band perform you know. There's only
one person in the back row smart enough to hide the
My sisters were
all jealous when they saw the bag ladies
photo...Mum was wondering why we didn't all draw
faces on them? Next time, Mum. She got a big kick
out of seeing herself on your Big Blue pages.
Anyway, remember how we were talking about email
responses from our Congressman? I got home after
the infamous lunch to find one from Nick in
response to my last newsflash to him. So things
must be getting organized...
Fenway Fran, Bag
#2 from the left
May 25 -
my home of Fort Bend County we have three Congresscritters.
Two of the three, Republican Ron Paul and Democrat Al
Green voted not to give George Bush carte blanche and a
bag of candy on this war. They voted NO. That took
courage, conviction and selflessness. Good on ‘um.
Our third Congressman, Nick Lampson, who wants to run
for Senate as a Democrat but be elected as a Republican,
was the only one to vote yes. That is why all the wheelin’
and dealin’ is going on to try to insure that Lampson
doesn’t have a Democratic primary opponent for the Senate
race. Like the answer, he’s blowin’ in the wind. Or
maybe he's just blowin'.
I'm told that I live in one of the most conservative
areas of Texas yet 2/3 of my Congresscritters want out of
this so-called war.
You certainly do have an interesting variety of
congressional fauna in your county. You've got that
rarest of all birds in the form of Ron Paul who is
afflicted by a galloping STD (Straight Talking
Disease) which would have ended his political life
long ago were anyone to start taking him
seriously. Al Green is another slightly odd duck --
transplanted from Louisiana, he rooted deeply in
Texas and might happily have remained an obscure
Justice of the Peace if old Tom's redistricting
hadn't made it tough for his predecessor. The only
one of the bunch who acts like a normal politician
is Nick Lampson who was elected on the strength of
being someone other than Tom who was actually on the
I think you need to go back to being an
independent. Then you'll be free to choose the
lesser of the two weevils put up by the Repugnican
and Democrapic branches of the Money Party or to
follow the advice of Bob LaFollette who said he
would much prefer to vote for what it wanted and
have it lose than to vote for something he didn't
want and have it win.
I see Nick Lampson
has gone and joined the Bohica Party. The Democrats
elected him but he goes by the philosophy, "Reward
your enemies and punish your friends--because you
can ALWAYS get new friends!"
Here's a really
vicious war propaganda poster I found in an internet
article. There's no brand on it, contrary to
custom, so I have no idea where it's from. So hey,
finders-keepers, I always say. It really skewers
the Homefront Jingos.
a Democrat and I'm with you. Lampson can kiss
my big blue butt, too. I worked hard to get
that man elected and I haven't heard a word from him
since election day.
May 24 -
Well, now they’ve got me
all hacked-off again with this “under God” thing they
want to put in the Texas pledge.
words "under God" would be added to the Texas Pledge of
Allegiance under legislation the House approved
Wednesday and sent to Gov. Rick Perry. The House agreed
with changes the Senate made to the bill.
the new version, the Texas pledge would be: "Honor the
Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one
state under God, one and indivisible."
Thousands of Texas school children recite the pledge
every day as required by a previous state law.
Why stop there? Why not add “under God” to The Eyes
of Texas, or San Antonio Rose, or Lubbock in My Rearview
Mirror? Okay, so maybe “Thank God” should be in Lubbock
in my Rearview Mirror. I'll give you that one.
This whole bill is insulting to God and to Texas.
Texas’s best newspaper editor,
Archer Fullingim, once explained that God lives in Big
Bend, Jesus lives near Austin, and the Holy Ghost lives in
the Big Thicket. Archer was right. Adding 'under God' to
the Texas pledge is like a putting a neon sign on the
By the way, if you call yourself a Texas Democrat and
don’t know who Archer Fullingim is, shame on ya. Click
the picture to buy a copy.
And, yes, that's my pink leather briefcase behind the
book. What would ever make you think that I didn't
have a pink briefcase?
May 24 -
Okay, you know the panic button we had installed
Wolfowitz’s girlfriend is taking a walk. She’s Dear
Johned him, split the blanket, and left him lonely.
I was never one to whine that Wolfowitz’s girlfriend
was getting special privileges. If that woman kept him
from getting antsy,
I was willing to give her all the money.
Think about it. If Wolfowitz is this maniacal and
he’s getting some release, can you imagine Wolfowitz …
well, all bottled up?
Now he’s going to be in a really foul mood. He’s
probably marching over to the White House with a whip
right now, with plans to bomb Iran by morning. We’re
going to have to sacrifice a virgin or something. This is
May 24 - We get
email. Even from Robert ---
Looks like Crazy Andy's crusade against any and
every thing naughty has metastized to Lubbock where
Asst. DA saw fit to bust a clerk at a lingerie store.
An obscure law sends one local lingerie store clerk
to jail. And now she may forever have to register as
a sex offender. The lingerie store, Somethin’ Sexy
was raided by police last week for violating
Lubbock`s sexually oriented business ordinance.
I know everything's supposed to be bigger in Texas,
but idiots in public office ain't something to be
Speaking of Andy Meyers, his website is still under
construction because he has so many achievements to
note. From his
"About" page comes
this fascinating tidbit:
(Andy is) Responsible for installation of the first
traffic signals the county has ever installed to
improve safety and control traffic.
Andy, thank you! Finally, traffic signals to improve
safety and control traffic. All in one
Such an improvement compared to the non-Andy signals
which were installed to irritate me
and collect revenue.
Glad you're back!
NOTE FROM SUSAN: Everybody but Momma needs
to go read the article. It's a hoot.
From the link that
"If they tell them this is a candle put in on
the birthday cake this is a novelty if they tell
you to use it to enjoy sexual gratification, its
no longer a candle on the birthday cake" says
Assistant D.A. John Grace.
I guess I can call it
a birthday candle if that makes it legal, but I
don't think I'd want it on top of my cake, all lit
up! And I won't even start on having a "candle"
for every year I've been alive!
Stephanie up in
May 23 -
Just what I suspected long ago –
Bush and DeLay have ruined it for Texans everywhere.
It’ll be a month of Sundays before a Texan ever gets in
the White House again, and that’s a shame because there’s
some folks here who are smarter than a tree of owls and
real nice people, too.
the Capital Q, a Washington barbecue joint festooned
with photos of Texas politicians and other Texana,
proprietor Nick Fontana said he encounters occasional
hostility about his native state.
lot of people hate Texans," he said, "but I'm used to
that. You just kind of deal with them. If Tom DeLay does
something stupid or they are not happy with the war,
they judge all Texans by that."
Chris Patterson, president of Austin Grill, a chain of
Texas-themed eateries in the Washington area, said
whatever impact Texas has had on life in the capital has
"What it did for business initially was give us a nice
little push because there was a big hoopla about Texas
and there was a good buzz about Texas at that time," he
said, recalling a "fairly significant increase in sales"
when Bush came to town.
now it's yesterday's news.
"There is no Texas thrill. It's gone," Patterson said.
I’m wondering if there’s a way we could make Bush admit
that he’s really a Yankee boy from Maine.
Hold on a minute,
Miss Susan. Don't saddle the good folk of Maine
with GWB. The chosen one (by the Supreme Court,
that is) was hatched in New Haven, Connecticut.
And your fans might enjoy
So! Bush is going to
live in Dallas (surely they mean Highland
Park) after he's finally out of office? Couldn't be
a better place for him. The only livestock around:
the bronze longhorns, horse and cowboy put up in Old
City Park to please convention visitors. To some
future legislature: consider a bill to declare the
entire Dallas area a city state. Give the rest of
Texas a rest! Send mail to: Dallas, Dallas, 752666.
An escaped Dallas dweller
Hi, Susan....well, I just got the most gawdful awful
flash from my teen years while attending a West
Hollywood, Ca highschool the day JFK was
We were dismissed for
the day, and while on my way out of the building,
a girl came up to me and asked...."aren't you from
It never even occured
to me that my fellow students would try to lay the
murder of JFK on me, but they did. I was spit on
and harrassed until a friend showed up and
escorted me out. Who knows what they may have
So, when folks turn
vicious down your way, just remember it can always
get worse.....So sorry for your peril in those
parts thanks for the terrible toad turd named GWB....
Norma in Carmel
May 23 - Several
folks have emailed me and one even called me last night
just as The Daily Show was coming on (oh horrors!) to tell
The Hill says Tom DeLay's house was raided by the FBI.
The postponements may be bad news for former Rep. Tom
DeLay (R-Texas) and Rep. John Doolittle (R-Calif.),
who had close ties to Abramoff and whose Northern
Virginia homes the FBI recently searched. Since the
searches, both Doolittle and DeLay have vehemently
defended themselves and lashed out at the FBI,
demanding that agents “fish or cut bait” in their
It didn't sound right to me. If the FBI raided Tom's
house, I think I would have heard about it and at least
made a mental note that at least somebody in this
government is doing their job.
Sure 'nuf. This morning, The Hill changed the
story. It was an editing mistake.
May 22 -
got a friend who says that life is like square dancing –
just about the time you start to get into the swing of
things, somebody changes direction on ya.
That may not be a total definition of life, but it
sure describes the Texas State Legislature.
I subscribe to Harvey Kronberg’s
Quorum Report. If you don’t, you should. It’s about
the most reliable source of information on the Lege and
Texas politics. Some of the stuff there is free for you
to look at – but the really good stuff costs money because
Harvey likes to eat, and he’s grown fond of air
conditioning and shoes.
Today it seems that every Republican in the Lege has
decided to run against that scoundrel Tom Craddick. I get
an email update from Harvey about every 15 minutes with
the name of another Republican who wants to run against
Now all this is really odd, because Craddick got
elected to the Speakership when this session started and
even some pretty rotten Democrats supported him, but his
supporters are dropping like hail off a tin roof.
And in a “No shoot, Sherlock” moment, Representative
Bryon Cook made a speech “complaining that the convergence of money, power and
influence were corrupting the speakership and the House.”
Hey Bryon, whose brain did you borrow for that
realization? People using crayons as writing materials
figured that out long ago.
You can bet that
Tom and Nadine ain’t giving up their fancy new digs
without a fight. Nadine worked real hard to put a teevee
set beside the settee at just the right angle. Ole Nadine
will be chasing Tom all over the Capitol with a broomstick
should his bad politics cause her to move out of her new
May 22 -
Okay, I’m not saying that
God is really hacked-off at what the Super DeLux Brand
Christians are doing to Sweet Jesus’ teachings, but …
okay, maybe that is what I’m saying.
nuns at Mother Cabrini Shrine in Golden were thanking
God on Sunday that no one was hurt when a bolt of
lightning shot out of the sky and struck their 33-foot
statue of Jesus.
lightning bolt broke off one of Jesus' arms and a hand
and damaged one of his feet, sending marble plummeting
to the ground during a Saturday afternoon storm.
Or, maybe Jerry Falwell is sending a message from … well,
you know, the other place.
if Jesus appearing on the laundry room floor is a sign,
then this sucker is a real attention-getter!
May 22 -
folks from foreign states may have heard about our newest
Texas hero – State Senator Mario Gallegos. Senator
Gallegos is recovering from a recent liver transplant.
Against his doctor’s orders, he has set up a sick bed
100 feet from his desk on the Senate floor in Austin to be
the deciding vote to block the discriminatory Voter ID
bill that the Republicans are viciously determined to
pass, come hell, high waters, or dead Senators.
Burnt Orange Report has the details.
However, it is my friend,
Judge Susan Criss of Galveston, who writes with
eloquence and conviction about those who cleared the path
for us all. Take time to read it. It is a strong tribute
to Senator Gallegos.
Judge Criss and I
share a love of “A
Patriot's Handbook.” Here’s my well-worn copy, complete
with coffee stains, next to my reading chair. It stays
there because I read it too often to put it back on the
shelf. Okay, that and I'm lazy.
If you don't have a copy, give yourself a wonderful
gift of this book.
May 22 -
Sorry I’ve been away from the keyboard for a few days.
Bubba paid the ransom and I’m back.
Okay, some folk have been asking which local County
Commissioners are up for re-election this time ‘round.
The positions up for election in 2008 are
Commissioners 1 and 3, and that would be Commissioner Tom
“Hula Man” Stavinoha and Commissioner Andy Meyers, who you
don’t even need a nickname for because his name has become
synonymous with weirdness in government. When somebody
does something weird in government it’s called “an Andy
Meyers,” as in: “Jim Bob stepped over a five dollar bill
to pick up a dime. He pulled an Andy Meyers, by golly!”
Stavinoha has been a gosh-awful Commissioner lately:
he was the deciding vote on the damn electronic voting
giving his relative a taxpayer financed boondoggle, a
trip to Hawaii (he paid the airfare after people pitched
fits but we paid the rest), constantly has his hand out to
vendors and developers for tickets to the ballpark and
rodeo, didn’t oppose the 18 story landfill, and I’m just
getting warmed-up because this guy is eaten-up with
Stavinoha will probably face opposition in his own
primary. If it’s a popular figure from Needville,
Stavinoha will be put through a meat grinder so badly that
even his family won’t recognize him when he comes out the
Also, remember that Democrat Veronica Torres got 47%
of the vote in precinct 1 so a Democrat could beat
Stavinoha if there’s a popular Democratic presidential
candidate. He’ll probably be facing both a primary and
general election opponent. If anybody needs a $100,000 a
year part-time job with excellent perks, contact your
Andy Meyers is a whole ‘nother story. He probably can’t
be beat. Precinct 3 is bizarre, Dude. That’s Tom DeLay
country. Those folks pay Tom DeLay to sweep their
swimming pools because they think he can walk on water.
You’d think the kids in Katy would have challenged him by
now, but the Republicans in Katy are a mess. They can’t
get organized and can’t get anybody elected from there.
That works to Andy’s benefit.
It’s kinda fun to poke Andy with a stick every now
and then because he always does something wildly bizarre,
like putting up signs that even make Republicans cringe
or goes off on a wild tangent about female elected
Check out his website. Been that way for months.
The Lege will be deciding if we have an early primary
or not, so you better be making up your mind pretty soon
if you want a cushy government job where you can give
yourself payraises at whim. Sounds like a deal to
Probably not suitable to link to a
"family" blog, but a
must-read for all familiar with Hot Tub Tom.
I was raised with only brothers
and gave birth to three sons. Nevertheless,
that grossed ME out.
Doesn't say much for
the flight attendant's judgment either.
May 20 - On
Saturday night, I got to have dinner with my favorite
Democrat - Evelyn Burleson, Democratic County Chair of
Evelyn got famous recently by explaining,
“Conservatism is just a
political justification for being stingy!”
I'm gonna tell you Republicans out there something -
you can mess with Texas. You can even mess with the
State Lege, but don't you ever even consider messing with
Evelyn Burleson. She will whip your butt.
Evelyn is Texas Democratic womanhood at its finest. She
is my favorite Democrat.
And don't even get Evelyn started on her new
Representative Juan Garcia. She thinks he's all
that. Evelyn's right, of course, he is.
Evelyn was even more right than she knew.
May 19 - We
get clever email.
One of the best stories this morning at our
Democratic meeting was told by a woman who was just
elected to the Pearland school board. The
superintendent of schools called her up to
congratulate her and then inquired about her
religious beliefs. The new board member's response
was, "My father was Catholic and my mother was
Anglican and they taught me that people who ask
about other people's religion are the result of bad
Sam in Pearland
Nothing like this surprises me when it comes to
Pearland. It wasn’t too long ago that the city
manager and police chief (I think I am correct)
both left their city jobs and went to work for
some Baptist mega-church in Pearland. Religion
Maybe the superintendent was just calling to find
out whether kosher snacks should be available for
Another very good reason I avoid that city like
Love the blog (I know, it isn’t a blog, still love
May 19 -
Well, ain’t we got fun!
The Party of family values is
using the bad word again.
bipartisan gathering in an ornate meeting room just off
the Senate floor, McCain complained that Cornyn was
raising petty objections to a compromise plan being
worked out between Senate Republicans and Democrats and
the White House. He used a curse word associated with
chickens and accused Cornyn of raising the issue just to
torpedo a deal.
Things got really heated when Cornyn accused McCain of
being too busy campaigning for president to take part in
the negotiations, which have gone on for months behind
closed doors. "Wait a second here," Cornyn said to
McCain. "I've been sitting in here for all of these
negotiations and you just parachute in here on the last
day. You're out of line."
McCain, a former Navy pilot, then used language more
accustomed to sailors (not to mention the current vice
president, who made news a few years back after a verbal
encounter with Sen. Patrick Leahy of Vermont).
Okay, the English translation of Poopie del Pollo is
actually an agri-business term, freely used in Texas.
However, anyone who has ever been around agriculture and
has actually walked in pollo poop, as I have, knows it’s
about the least desirable thing on planet earth. However,
I cannot picture John Cornyn actually knowing that.
So, this event neatly and elegantly takes down both
men. McCain for giving his critics ammo about his hot
temper, and Cornyn for being a chicken poop of a man,
which everyone knows he is.
May 18 -
Lampson is telling folks that he's 99% sure he's
going to run for Senate. It's just so darned
embarrassing to have your Democratic Congressman
go beg Sugar Land Republicans like Tom Abraham to run
for his seat.
In January of last year, following Tom DeLay
indictment, Tom Abraham introduced DeLay at a fawning
dinner in DeLay's honor.
It was reported ---
"We're with you and we support you 100
percent. We are your friend and you are ours," said
Abraham who won election last year by a slim margin and
since has made trips to Washington with DeLay.
I dunno, it could
just be me, but I think we could find a better Democrat.
May 18 - If
you missed Tom DeLay on the Colber Repor last night,
check it out.
May 18 -
Pssttt…. Over here. Shhhh….listen up.
Limbaugh is doing drugs again.
.... just like there's a template developing for the Republican
debate last night. "How come there are no women and
minorities on stage?" I guess you forgot about 2004. And
I guess -- you know, the Democrats never get those kinds
of questions because it's always assumed that they're
fair and just, and not discriminatory and all that.
Uh, Rush, I’ll type this very slowly so you can
understand. The Democrats weren’t asked that question
because there were minorities and a woman on the stage.
My friend Bill says that Rush didn't see that in the
Democratic debate because he's been doing too much of that
stuff that makes you go blind.
May 18 - A big ole
hug to Bennett at the Christian Science Monitor ---
May 18 - Ring.
Hey, Commissioner Andy, it's for you.
Vermont is calling.
May 17 - I recently had reason to purchase a cake for a special
Just to mess with Commissioner Andy Meyers, I bought it
Nooky's Bakery in Sugar Land. No, I'm serious.
I could have bought it anywhere but I drove all the way to
Sugar Land just to hack-off Andy Meyers and the Super-DeLux
Brand Chrisitians. I feel like that's kinda my duty.
Meyers thinks Nooky's is a sexually oriented business
and wants to have it shut down forever because they make
cakes resembling ta-tas for parties. When
shutting it down didn't work, he spent county time and
trying to make them take down their sign. That
didn't work either, and this mother and daughter bakery is
still making beautiful cakes for special occasions all
over the county.
Nice cake, huh? And it was yummy. Raspberry
filling and moist vanilla cake. I'd say it was
sinfully good, but Meyers will hire a lawyer to shut down
my website. Heck, he tried to make them take down a
sign just because it had the word "naughty" on it.
Or maybe it was the word "erotic" on the sign.
Apparently that word makes Andy frisky, so he surmises it
has the same effect on you.
Which reminds me of an absolute true story
a friend of mine tells.
I know it’s true because I know all the parties
My friend has an 85 year old Grandmother who is a
stalwart in the Baptist Church. She’s the good kind of
Baptist, with a sweet, true and loving heart, not the
haughty kind of Baptist.
Anyway, my friend is a coffee connoisseur – she loves
different grinds and flavors of coffee from all over the
world. Her Granny, wanting to share her granddaughter’s
new interest, began telling people that her granddaughter
was “all into erotic coffees.”
Well, this is a small town and it didn’t take long
for word to get back to me and my friend about what Granny
was telling the church, the beauty shop, the butcher, and
the man who came to install her new washing machine.
My friend was mortified. Why would Granny be saying
something like that?
It took her a full fifteen minutes to realize that
Granny meant exotic.
She called Granny immediately to tell her that she
was using the wrong word. “Granny,” she said slowly and
clearly, “it’s exotic coffees, not erotic coffees.”
“Exotic, erotic, what’s the difference?” Granny
wanted to know, “It’s all the same to me.”
Granny has a point, you know.
Anyway, the point of that story is that Andy Meyers better let
that sign stay up so Grannys will know the difference.
I guess I should mention that my friend got several
serious calls from people wanting to know where to buy
these erotic coffees. So, if there’s an interest, perhaps
we could mention it to the ladies at Nooky’s.
May 17 -
Our alert reader Karen has found an interesting article on
Rudy Giuliani and the Trans-Texas Corridor.
It comes from, Good Grief, Iowa!
Rudy Giuliani has been definitively tied to the
“NAFTA Superhighway”, or “Trans-Texas Corridor” (TTC),
according to Cliff Kincaid, of
Accuracy in Media, an on-line media watchdog
Giuliani became senior partner in the law firm of
Giuliani in 2005. This law firm represents
oil company controlled by Venezuelan Marxist dictator
Hugo Chavez. As if that weren’t bad enough, Diane Grassi
also reports in
CommonVoice.com that Bracewell and Giuliani is the
sole legal counsel for Sintra, the Spanish company
awarded the contract to operate the TTC.
No wonder Sugar
Land Mayor David Wallace supports him! He's got
enough underground ties to make Wallace look like a piker!
Sorry that's good grief Idaho, not Iowa. Those
foreign states all look the same to me:-)
May 17 - We get
email, yes we do.
Hmmm, CBS is offering a new show this fall about
South Florida Cuban exile family in the rum business:
like a barely fictionalized account of the bitter
rivalries in the Bacardi family. Glad to see that
the producer is comparing the family in the show to
the Corleone family!
Presumably the show will include the family paying
off a number of crooked politicians. Who's going to
play Tom DeLay?
Heck, Honey, Tom can play Tom. After all,
he's been playing us for years.
No, seriously, he's unemployed. The book
writing bidness didn't go too well and this whole
pay-to-blog deal doesn't seem to be a big money
maker. And, according to his
official schedule, he hasn't had diddle squat to
do since March 29th. I was thinking about
calling him to see if he'd come over and clean the
tops of my ceiling fans.
Or, I hear that Paul Wolfowitz will be looking
for work soon. He's about Tom's height.
Heck, a bald spot and strut and they could pass for
May 17 - Well,
me and ole Bob Hebert made the Houston Chronicle
today. They couldn't reach Bob for comment so he
didn't have an opportunity to say something else stoopid
You know, if Bob keeps making up wild stories about
the $8.00 an hour thing or this being a "new" law or
me knowing he paid it back before I filed the complaint,
I'm liable to get mad.
Bob, just hump-up and take it like an old bull in a
blue norther. And quit being so damn greedy - it's
There is one
really cool thing about this story making the Chronicle.
A hundred years from now, when my great-great
granddaughter is researching the family tree and wants
information about me, there it will be --- forever
immortalizing that I was whoopin' up on politicians with a
voracious appetite for money. I’m real proud of that.
It's hard to
understand how a county judge's campaign could
generate so many bookkeeping hours for its
treasurer. I would really like to know what all
is required of the job.
because the Fort Bend Herald reported that "Hebert
said he paid his wife $8 an hour for bookkeeping
work, and reported in his campaign filings
payments to her of $5,000 and $1,200 in August and
November of 2006."
I crunched the numbers and that comes out to a LOT
of hours she was putting in.
I noticed on
the campaign report that the reporting period was
July 1, 2006 - December 31, 2006, which is 26.3
weeks. I would think that she would have maybe 3
weeks off for vacation, holidays, and sick
days, which would leave 23.3 work weeks (I'm
assuming she's an independent contractor
and doesn't get paid if she doesn't work).
Working backwards to figure her hours, $6,200 paid
for 23.3 weeks at $8 per hour comes out to just
over 33 hours per week, which some would consider
full-time or at least close to full-time.
That seems like a
lot of bookkeeping work for a county judge's
campaign, don't you think, especially if you look
at the dollar amounts on the report?
Oh, and even if
she labored the entire 26.3 weeks that would still
work out to 29 and a half hours per week.
Not exactly a
high-pressure, fast-paced job, huh? If somebody
flipping burgers produced burgers at the same rate
that she keeps books, they sure wouldn't call it
fast food, now would they? And I think burger
flippers only make $5.15 or so an hour compared to
her $8. Maybe one of them should apply for the
treasurer's job and get that raise and a chance
to rest their feet.
Actually, unless the Hearst
family's DNA gets a major injection of
unadulterated gray matter from some other
bloodline, 100 years from now there will probably
be no record whatsoever of any story the Houston
Chronicle published in the first 10 years of the
21st Century. Or maybe even the last 10 months.
Already, when you search for fairly recent
articles on the likes of, for instance, some guy
named Tom DeLay, you tend to get links aimin' to
give you news stories or editorials like these:
That all lead to the same page, with a headline
that says "No such article."
That's why I've contracted with a reputable
laboratory to freeze-dry the digital remains of
FortBendNow in the unlikely event it ever ceases
publication. Need an old story? Just stir briefly
in warm water.
FROM SUSAN: Bob is right. Go to my
December 3rd post about John Zerwas and the story
is also missing. Rats!
May 16 -
We get email, stack and stacks of email ---
I just read about the new Marriage Tax s.ll..ll..ii..pp..pp..ii..nn..gg
thru the Texas House yesterday.
I think it is a whole lot easier to be a Republican
national Officials provide all
the excuses that work - "I don't recall..The
dog ate that e-mail..It just slipped by me." These
work on a national level so why not use them
in the great
Texas leg? Gee what a shame that bills that would
provide insurance for children or money for
education don't just slip by.
But the real question is what will it take for the
voting public to finally get fed up and put ALL
these bozos out
of work? Are these the truly the best we can come up
opening up Madam Susan's Marriage Counseling Service
and Fried Catfish Heaven Emporium because I'm gonna
get rich off this new tax.
I saw that bill has slipped through, I thought to
myself, "Well, one too many Representative's
children have graduated with psychology degrees and
can't get jobs anywhere." Mark my word - you
heard it here first.
complaint. How he knows what I know, I dunno.
I heard third hand that he SAID he did. Bob Hebert's
word and $3.75 will buy you a gallon of gas in this county
May 16 -
Okay, it’s time to pitch a fit.
These electronic voting machines with no paper trails
were an enormous waste of money, and they hurt voter
confidence badly. Republicans in Congress and on our
local Commissioner’s Court shoved them down our throats
even after we said we didn’t like them.
To heck with the fact that the machines are about as
trustworthy as Alberto Gonzales. They were damned and
determined to make us buy these blasted machines.
Now it’s time to admit another mistake, Republicans,
and fix the problem.
Holt’s bill would require a voter-verified paper ballot
in all federal elections, which means that every vote
must be recorded on a piece of paper that the voter can
examine to ensure that it was properly recorded. It
would also require that a suitable percentage of the
paper ballots be audited to verify the tallies produced
by the machines. The bill allocates $1 billion for the
upgrades, and has other important reforms, including
tougher requirements for the testing labs that certify
voting machines, which have been rife with conflicts of
It’s going cost us one billion dollars to fix your
mistake. I think the Republican National Committee ought
to pay it.
May 15 -
Judge Bob Hebert says that me filing with the Texas Ethics
Commission on his self-admitted
violations of the law is “politics.”
It took him 4 months to come up that? Honey, that
just proves why he has a store-bought Ph.D. instead of a
real one. He’s an idiot.
Of course it’s political. Does
he think Republicans would point out his violations of the
law? Ain’t he been watching teevee lately?
Somebody needs to hand black crepe over his nose
because his brain is dead.
And, just to add a cherry on the top, Hebert says I
knew he had re-paid his campaign fund when I filed the
UPDATE: and I
thank the Coaster Boys for dropping by to get the
news. You could have called me for a comment, ya know.
You do have my phone number.
I probably would have asked you to figure how this
report (see PDF here)
took Mrs. Hebert 75 hours to complete. I could do it
in about 2 hours and have time left over to whip up some
Bob Hebert is a greedy old man and I didn't trust him
to really re-pay the money. By the way, Herald Boys,
how do you know he really did repay the money? You
kinda just have to take his word for it, don't you?
did it. I admit it. I'm the dumbest criminal on
earth because I told everybody I did it," said
ROTFLMAO, that's not the only reason you're the
dumbest criminal on earth, Blubbery Bobby.
are just all around Stooopid.
I, too, noticed his
claim of $8 an hour payments to his wife. Who
does he think he's kidding!?! They file one of
these reports every six months and his wife gets
paid $1,200 a year. If typing and arithmetic is
difficult for her, maybe Hebert should pay someone
$20 a hour who can do it in 3 hours.
May 15 -
maybe it's the Rapture?
You know 'some people' have a theory about global
warming being partially caused by all the hypocrites
that are dying and going to hell. Not that I would
ever say that. I blame it on the ones that are still
May 15 -
Houston Chronicle …..
Don't mess with Texas' image — at least, not if you're a
filmmaker seeking money from the Lone Star State.
That's the message from Senate budget writers who
approved a film-incentive measure Monday, but only after
specifying that a grant may be denied for "inappropriate
content or content that portrays Texas or Texans in a
Well hell, why stop with just movies? You don’t
think the man in the White House makes us look like a
bunch of hayseeds? I mean, the man’s afraid of horses.
He cries like a baby when you get him near a pony.
You can’t be from Texas and be afraid of horses. Now
there’s a law I could get behind.
And, hey, I want to be on this committee deciding
what would be considered “negative” about Texas. I think
the Gov and I might disagree about a few of these things.
For example, the Gov doesn’t think that snatching little
kids off health insurance is exactly negative. I do.
I think ignorant pig-headed goofballs being Governor
of Texas a negative. I seriously doubt the Gov
The Gov thinks making little fartin’ noises with your
armpit is hysterically funny. I don’t think it’s all that
I think Aggie jokes are funny, but they don’t get a
smile from the Gov. Well, unless they include fartin’
I think wearing Sweet Jesus like a political button
is very unbecoming, but the Gov would get “Goose Me if You
Heart Jesus” tattooed on his butt if he thought it would
get him one more vote.
Somebody nominate me for that committee.
May 14 -
to our friend Bruce for the heads-up.
Frank Rich has astutely observed that the Republicans
have the plague. I, personally, think it’s a little more
like an infestation, but I won’t quibble.
rough, conservative calculation -- feel free to add --
there have been corruption, incompetence, and
contracting or cronyism scandals in these cabinet
departments: Defense, Education, Justice, Interior,
Homeland Security, Veterans Affairs, Health and Human
Services, and Housing and Urban Development.
Rich also believes that Karl Rove and George Bush are
beating the GOP with a big stick over the head until the
Party will have to unlace its shoes to see daylight.
I do not know what you people expected. You elected
two Texas oilmen who ain’t all that appealing to the
ladies and now you’re upset that you’re getting screwed.
They’re Texas oilmen – they gotta screw somebody. I’m
sorry, but Monica Lewinsky has standards; she wouldn’t do
Re: Monica Lewinsky
From her testimony, it appeared that Bill Clinton
was the one who refused to "consummate" their
relationship, not Monica. He was apparently rather
scrupulous about the meaning of "sex."
Just to keep you on the straight and narrow, so to
May 14 - I'm proud
to say that Uncle Clyve is
finally back in style.
Don't bother shining your tasseled loafers, and leave
that old checkered bowtie in the same dresser drawer
with the socks that don't match.
You won't need 'em anymore. No, sir. Not in Texas.
The Texas House on Friday voted unanimously -- that
means everybody -- to make bolo ties and cowboy boots
the official neckwear and footwear for the whole darn
I don't know 'bout you, but I don't think we needed to
waste the paper it took to print this bill - kinda seems
to me that some things are official without proclamation
from the Lege.
Next they're gonna make air the official breathing
material of Texas. Or dirt the official ground
Lemme tell ya somethin' - Texas fellas don't need no
help in dressing properly. "Dude" was a word out
here long before they even heard of it in California.
I hear they stripped out an amendment that would
have officially designated all Texas half-acre
home lots or larger as "spreads"--because they
were afraid of enabling every fool with a riding
lawnmower to claim a Ranching Exemption on their
I am shocked that
the Texas Legislature has made the bolo tie the
official neckgear as New Mexico already claimed
that prerogative. CopyCats.
.Sybil in NM
May 13 -
Heads-up! The Texas Ethics Commission has found
that Fort Bend County Judge Bob Hebert has willfully
violated Texas Election Law. He cannot pay his wife
$6,200 for "bookkeeping services."
Here it is in PDF format.
It says that Hebert was "in violation of section
253.041 of the Election Code" and that he didn't reimburse
his campaign or file a corrected report until after he was
aware that the complainant (that would be me) was making
an issue of the payments to his wife.
I've decided that there's not going to be any more Miss
Nice Susan. I'm going after these twits. All
I'm asking is that they follow three rules; (1) don't lie,
(2) don't cheat, and (3) don't steal too much. That
isn't asking a lot.
Another thing: ain't it funny that Republicans whine
about lawyers but they immediately hire one when they've
broken the law. Hebert even hired himself a fancy
Austin lawyer. We have to wait until his July
filings to find out who paid for that.
Oh, and by the way, Hebert told one local media source
that it was a "new" law that you can't give campaign
contributions to your wife. Yeah, if 2001 is "new."
Check page 2 of the opinion.
However, Bob has been a big help to the scientific
community. He's discovered Hebert's Third law: when
greed and arrogance collide, they make a big ole whopper
of a sucking sound. That's science, Folks!
May 12 - It's
Tom DeLay has closed his campaign account.
Final expenditure? $9,000 to fancy DeeCee
Final contribution? $80, Michael Matchie in
Minneapolis, Minnesota (I think he made that up.
Kinda like Tizzy Tillman from Temple, Texas.)
You can buy
Tom's book for $7.00 now. I'm waiting for it to
go down to 99 cents.
Don't be a fool! I'm holding out until he starts
PAYING people to read it. He'll probably end up
like Henry David Thoreau, whose publisher shipped
the unsold stock of books to the author to save
storage space. Thoreau boasted in the privacy of his
"I have now a library of nearly 900 volumes, over
700 of which I wrote myself."
I hear that DeLay's book is so turgid that it makes
seem like "a quick read."
How's this? Laura IngraHAM was interviewing DeLay
about his book, and she asked him about "the man who
saved your life," or something like that. Well, I
knew she was referring to the Congressman who showed
Tom that Christian videotape that supposedly made
him a better family man--the story is so cloying
that you HAVE to remember it. But ole Tom had NO
idea what she was talking about! He hemmed and
hawwed until she finally had to tell him WHICH
saccharine fable she was referring to. Which raises
the question, forget whether he wrote his own
book--did he even bother to READ it?
Poor Tom, he's on that slippery slope between joke
joke! Slide, Tom,
not even buy the book for 25 cents!
it from the library!
would you want to inflate his numbers so God forbid,
he'd get it into his head to write another!!!
My hat's off to Earl.
He was able to use "turgid" and "DeLay" in the same
sentence and nobody snickered. Way to go!
May 12 - Election
day fun! And you thought Gary Gates listing a felon
as a supporter was odd?
Ken Bryant, who ain't the brightest light on the
sent out endorsements from people who do not even like
I know that Ken does have legitimate supporters.
Somewhat appropriately, however, most of them won't use
their real names.
As a bare-knuckles Fort Bend Independent
School District Board campaign wound down, Position 7
incumbent Ken Bryant drew the wrath of several prominent
officials on Friday who said he named them as his
supporters in campaign literature without their consent.
think we should admire Bryant's restraint for not listing
Mother Teresa and seven Nobel Prize winners as supporters.
If you're wondering why Sheriff Milton Wright and
Commissioner Andy Meyers are straddling the fence on this
one, it's because Bryant is an African-American
Republican. Even if they don't like him, they have
to walk on eggshells around him because they only have
three of those in this county. They don't want to
piss-off their entire Republican minority caucus.
May 11 - Three
words I thought I'd never say in a row:
Republicans in doo-rags.
May 11 -
Okey dokey, the Texas Ethics Commission has an
investigation underway of why PBS&J reported giving
campaign donations to our county commissioners that our
commissioners claim to have never received. Somebody
ain't telling the truth.
Here's a PDF of the documents.
I'll keep you informed, of course.
May 11 - I know a
lot of people are watching the local Saturday elections as
nervous as the third monkey on Noah’s gangplank.
I’m working for
Melissa Noriega in the Houston city council election.
Melissa sits tall in the saddle, and she can march in my
parade any day of the week. Melissa’s parents live in
Richmond and are everybody’s favorite people.
FBISD and Missouri City needs to throw out the
incumbents. Most of them have just been sitting there
The best reason to vote against LCISD’s Lisa Rickert?
Two words: Liz Mitton. You’d think getting 23% of the
vote would be a clear message, but noooo. She’s the only
woman in the county hated more than I am, and hell, I work
at it. Plus, she needs to get a grip and quit with the
fake name and fake smile.
But the race I’ll be watching with both eyes and a
telescope is the LCISD race of
Gary Gates and Richard McCarter. I’ve been praying
that the Lord will find a way for them both to lose.
McCarter is a twit who would bring his backstabbing brand
of politics to the school board. Gates has more baggage
than your average train station. He ran for State Rep and
put a convicted felon on his endorsement list. Great Gobs
O’ Glory, I should have moved and run as a write-in.
Tote your cameras to the polls with you – and send me
any great pictures you get!
May 11 -
your Momma. It's not too late to send a truly
meaningful gift to her.
- Okay, so I need to shut down shop, close the doors
on this place, and hit the light switch.
Tom DeLay has become a parody of himself.
Here in the nation's capital, irony sometimes takes a
heaping spoonful of steroids and facts become stranger
The latest example? Take a guess at who's headlining
an upcoming political training seminar offering
"explicit discussions of ethics."
The answer is Tom DeLay, the former
House majority leader who resigned last year after being
indicted on campaign finance abuses in Texas and who
remains under federal scrutiny in the Jack Abramoff
DeLay, a.k.a. "the Hammer," is set to kick off a May
Campaigns & Elections seminar, where he will hawk
his book, "No Retreat, No Surrender," and talk political
strategy ... and, who knows, maybe even ethics. (After
all, Michael Scanlon,
a former top DeLay aide who pleaded guilty in the
Abramoff lobbying investigation, delivered his graduate
thesis on congressional ethics last year; so why
shouldn't the Hammer be able to join in the absurdity of
must be so proud.
I really didn't believe this so I went and found my copy
of Campaigns and Elections (it arrived yesterday) and sure
'nuf, there it is.
Click the little one to get the big one.
By the way, it costs $600 to go to this event. That's a
lot of money to hear Tom DeLay preach Christian
meanness and Shannon Flaherty play Flippant for Dollars.
The biggest irony is that Tom DeLay couldn't afford to
attend himself. He's got more lawyers than O.J.
Simpson, and he owes them all money.
May 10 - Just
a reminder with everybody
keeping an ear open in Tom DeLay's direction -- when
something he doesn't like is fixing to happen, he starts
speaking in tongues.
No, I'm serious. It got so bad here that I wrote
about it back in
April of 2002 and
2000. It's a habit he's got. He gets
nervous and his tongue shakes.
He's calling folks Nazi's again, and the next day
claims that only liberals call people Nazi's. He
damn well better not be trying to charge parties.
We've already got a big X by his name. And the word
"Nazi," just to hack him off.
See, my theory is that it's a Freudian slip. You
know how the most homophobic people are the closeted
ones who are trying to deny it to themselves? I
think somewhere inside Tom is a flower child. All he
needs is a galvanizing experience to turn it loose.
So, here's the challenge: how do we get him to
engage his brain and his conscience at the same
Think there's any hope?
We might have better luck trying to talk Rick Perry
into working harder on funding education than on his
Dr. Doyle in Nacogdoches
May 10 - Everybody
just sit tight.
The Republicans may impeach him just to get rid of him.
It sure would save us a lot of trouble.
Some Republicans met with Dubya yesterday and it's
They told the president, and one said,
“My district is prepared for defeat. We need candor, we
need honesty, Mr. President.”
Now I hate to be
this way, but America has needed candor and honesty from
the White House looooong before Republicans needed it for
their political fortunes.
We have a tree in our backyard that has a fungus, so
my yard man gave me a phone number, my
wife--Melody--got one off a truck she saw in a
parking lot. To get a comparison she called her #
and then mine- the person answered on my # as
"Gillen Pest Control." She hung up!
My question---why are so many republicans in the bug
business??? Melody seems to think they are such
creepy people and below the ground that it is only
natural, well Iguess so---and so it goes!
May 10 -
hurricane season and the National Guard is landlocked in
People are worried, in spite of reassurances that we
have plenty of help, just like we did in Katrina.
will assure you this," Colley said. "Every risk we have
is covered with the resources we need to respond to it."
officials in Houston and Harris County appeared
"I've been here since 8 this morning, and I've gotten
three different stories" on what kinds of medical
evacuation help will be available from the state, Sharon
Nalls of the Houston health department said at the
conference. "I'm confused. ... Be consistent with the
message you give us."
have a solution. It’s pretty simple, really. Reinstitute
the draft. No, wait. Listen to this – young Republicans
will rush to join the Texas National Guard then.
May 9 -
your calendars for an opportunity to prove me wrong.
Okay, so in the post this morning about Tom DeLay’s
mood swings, there was another interesting tidbit:
One source familiar with the investigation said federal
officials have given immunity to at least one senior
member of DeLay’s political circle who may now be
cooperating with investigators. Former associates of the
majority leader say investigators are apparently
attempting to indict DeLay for corruption by proving
that Buckham sought to influence him with unearned
payments to his wife.
Now the question is: who’s talking?
Ed Buckham or
Tony Rudy? It’s probably one of them.
Six months ago, I would have bet on Rudy. Rudy is
slippery and would probably sell his mother for a stock
tip. He’s already lost his license to practice law and
he’s plead guilty to conspiracy. He's facing a ton
However, I’m re-thinking this. I now think it’s
Buckham, Super DeLux Brand Christian and founder of the
Alexander Strategy Group. Buckham and DeLay were involved
in the US Family Network – which involved pickup trucks, a
Capital Hill townhouse, and a million dollars from the
I’ve had some fun with them over the years.
DeLay claims that Buckham is his minister and
spiritual advisor in all things Christian and clean. You
know, like bribes, skyboxes, sweatshops, and ripping-off
Our friend Alfredo says that if
it is Buckham, “Watch
for DeLay to invoke the priest/penitent privilege in the
coming trial, arguing that Buckham was his religious
advisor and anythng DeLay told him was privileged. It
won't work, but it could drag out the legal proceedings
However, I won't eat crow if it's
On a hot July
day in 2002, Susan Hirschmann announced her departure as
chief of staff to Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas). After five
years of late-night votes and hard-won victories, the
Alabama native had become a close confidante of the
majority whip, one of the most powerful players in the
certain sweet justice in a woman bringing him down.
- Here's how it's done:
Thanks to Ben
Poor Tom DeLay. Now he’s having to admit that he’s
are dozens of people who will demonstrate that Christine
DeLay was a central cog in DeLay’s political world and
was a, if not the, key adviser of ARMPAC,” said the
source. “No major decision affecting DeLay was made
without Christine being the protector.”
need to give Tom wide berth for these mood swings he’s
having. One week he claims he’s not worried because Jesus
is on his shoulder, and then the next week he’s flying off
the handle with anxiety. Hey Tom, Bud, either there’s
drugs causing that, or drugs can fix it.
You know how I’ve said that Tom DeLay and George Dubya
Bush have ruined national politics for any future Texan in
Well, add Ted Poe to the list. Now we have the Axis
Poe quoted a Civil War general during his speech on
the House floor defending the war in Iraq. I don’t think
he saw the irony in quoting a losing general. And there’s
the added irony that the quote – Get there the firstest
with the mostest – has little meaning now that Bush didn’t
do that in the first place.
And, I don’t think Poe knew squat about that general,
Nathan Bedford Forrest. I least I hope not. Forrest was a
founder of the Klan.
You can see it here.
Poe was a product of DeLay’s redistricting efforts.
Tom DeLay - the gift that keeps on making us look stoopid.
those same wonderful people who gave us taxpayer ripoffs,
corruption with public officials, and overcharges galore,
back doing business in Texas.
They are going to widen Highway 90 between Uvalde and Del
Rio. That’s about 45 minutes of nothing. I know. I’ve
driven it many times. Never got in a traffic jam on it,
I’m putting this artist’s rendition of the old road
and the new road so Texans can laugh. See those trees?
That’s called artistic license. There ain’t no trees
between Del Rio and Uvalde.
By the way, I was informed yesterday by the Texas
Ethics Commission that my formal complaint filed with them
PBS&J claiming to have made political contributions to
our county commissioners which our commissioners claim to
have never received, has been accepted. The paperwork is
on the way and I will post it here as soon as it arrives.
I’m not saying that the Texas Ethics Commission will
do anything about it. I’m just saying that at least I’m
making somebody look at it.
Huh? What is that? I
hope they investigate, but Texas, Ethics and
Republican; in baseball that's 3 strikes and you're
May 8 -
Ah, the sweet scent of election season in the air.
You can tell it's election time because the Republicans
Fort Bend ISD school board are pandering. Again.
trustees Stan Magee and Ken Bryant quickly took issue
with Seales’ example, saying teachers should get bigger
raises. Magee suggested $2,500 to $3,000, financed in
part by lower raises for administrators.
First it was
involving themselves in an individual discipline case of a
minority student, now teacher salaries.
Madam Swami Susan says that tomorrow they'll be
promising Harvard on full scholarship for every child and
no taxes at all!
here’s the deal. The City of Houston
has spent $1.3 million since 1997 on outside lawyers
to defend its sexually oriented business ordinance.
One point three million dollars. And that doesn’t
even count the time of the city lawyers spent advising and
pondering on it.
That’s a mess of money.
Attorney Arturo Michel said defending the ordinance has
been an unusually costly and time-consuming process.
involved more legal work, and clearly more work with
people looking at the data and preparing for trial," he
said. "With most other litigation, we typically don't
appropriate anything that's even close to that."
And our county commissioner Andy Meyers and his Steeple
People want to spend at least at that much over Nooky’s
Erotic Bakery, where you may purchase ta-ta cakes.
Nooky’s is the closest we come to anything risqué in this
If Andy Meyers wants to spend money that way, I say
he should pay for it out of his campaign account.
Speaking of which, I wonder if any of Andy’s buddies
who keep bragging about what a successful businessman he
was before entering politics have seen his personal
financial statement? (Yeah, that’s what we call a teaser
in this business.)
May 7 - This is a walleyed snot-nosed hissy fit.
Gas will soon hit
$4. a gallon.
I don’t know why people are upset. I mean, you
people elected two oil men from Texas as President and
Vice President and then you want to whine when gas costs
just a tad more than landing on Boardwalk with a hotel.
I’ve been getting these
emails about boycotting gas stations on May 15th.
But, here’s the clincher: I’ve been getting them from
Republicans. Good Lord, if you’re a Republican you ought
to come to my house, drive my car up to the gas station
for me, fill it up, pay for it yourself, and run it
through the car wash on the way back. You owe me at least
that much. But, no, you want me to alter my daily plans
because you voted stoopid.
Boycott, my patootie. Yeah, that’ll really scare
Dick Cheney and Rick Santorium.
Woo, woo, a million people didn’t buy gas today. Guess
who’s gonna buy gas tomorrow? A million people.
The last thing I’d do right now is take advice about
gas prices from Republicans. In fact, the second to last
thing I’d do right now is take advice about anything from
How ‘bout this? Let’s all boycott Republicans on May
15th. Nobody talk to them or smile at ‘um.
Put your thumbs in your ears and wave your fingers at them
when you see one with that SUV the size of a tanker and W
sticker on the back window. That’ll really hurt ‘um.
I don't claim to be any kind of an expert on the
price of gasoline.
All I know is what I read in the papers and hear
on the radio where they all seem to be in agreement
about one thing -- nobody seems to be trying to USE
LESS GASOLINE! The refineries are running at about
90% of capacity. Some might say that this is like
when the Enron folks did their best to keep supply
and demand out of balance in California but given
the marvelous job that B.P. and those folks up in
Oklahoma have been doing at causing fires and
explosions at their refineries, I suspect it's more
incompetence running amok.
Way back in 1973 when I was working in a gas
station the price of regular (leaded, remember
leaded?) was about 40 cents a gallon and we were
instructed to limit people's purchases to 10 gallons
at a time. After a while the price got so high we
had to price it by the half gallon because the price
calculators didn't go past 99.9 cents. Telling
people they had to pay double what was showing on
the dials was a real treat.
Then Mr. Nixon came up with gasless Sunday's
and THAT made a difference in people's driving
Now we've got gas guzzlers of all shapes and
sizes that make claims to getting as much as 25
miles per gallon but I don't believe most of them.
So when I hear people complaining about the price of
gasoline, I really get peeved. I'm driving a car
that gets over 35 mpg on a regular basis and all
those gas hogs who are whining about how much it
costs have been driving up the price for me and all
the others who try to conserve. So I say "Kwitcherbitchin
and USE LESS GASOLINE".
Tulips are flowering and I've had to cut the green
weeds twice in the last week. Must be Spring.
Can't wait for Summer when the gas prices will
REALLY be high. I may have to buy a goat to keep
the weeds down and a sheep to eat the grass.
Love your blog!
husband and I bit the bullet and spent the money for
a hybrid. We are now getting between 40-50 mpg.
too remember the 70's and alternate gas days. Makes
me angry when people drive up in their big SUV's
12-15 mpg. There is NO REASON WHY all cars and
trucks could not, should not be getting better gas
mileage. The republicans should also vacuum out the
cars before returning them!
What Hal said.
Plus, I looked over the project list on the new
mobility bonds (PDF
here) and I don't see a road listed that I've ever
been stuck in traffic on.
May 7 -
Next they’re gonna wanna put “under God” in “Take Me Out
to the Ballgame.”
In a charming and historical argument about adding
“under God” to the Texas flag salute, Bud Kennedy even
Daughters of the Republic of Texas oppose it.
This fifth generation Texan opposes it, too. “Texas, one
and indivisible” has great historical significance. Hell,
we didn’t even break into pieces while Dubya was
Governor. From the looks of things lately, that appears
to be a great occurrence.
I cannot understand why self-righteous little Debbie
Riddle of Tomball (Republican, of course) thinks she needs
to remind people that God is in Texas when we have Big
Bend, the Big Thicket, the Hill Country, Mustang Island,
and the Davis Mountains. Prissy Ms. Riddle certainly
belittles the hand of God.
Hey Ms. Riddle, is “one and indivisible” too
complicated for you? There’s a train leaving for Oklahoma
tomorrow. Get on it.
Susan, please offer another alternative to travel
via "train to Oklahoma".
We already have Sen. Jim Inhoff and he is equal to
1,429 Debbie Riddles.
Ken from Indian Territory.
Under God in "Take Me Out to
the Ball Game" - -- That's a good one, as ever,
however; I haven't heard "Take Me Out to the
Ballgame" since about the year 2000 because now they
play "God Bless America" at the 7th inning stretch.
Love your blog, I look everyday waiting to see the
news that "Virginia Tom" is headed to the Grey Bar
Zippidy Doo Da
Okay, Newt Gingrich – and aren’t we delighted that he’s
back! – has made a list of things that the
Republicans cannot talk about:
Which means there are only 4 things that Republicans CAN
Paris Hilton and that whole jail thing
How ‘bout them ‘Stros, Bud?
The fall tv schedule
The Heartbreak of Psoriasis
May 6 -
He’s nuts. He’s a crook. He doesn't believe in the First
Amendment. He's a damn Commie. And he’s still
telling Denny Hastert what to do.
Welcome to Republicanism at its finest ---
used his new blog to vent glee over the industrywide
decline in newspaper circulation. The deposed House
majority leader from Sugar Land is awaiting trial on
state campaign finance charges in Austin.
quicker outfits like The Dallas Morning News and
New York Times are relegated to permanent fossil
status the better," he wrote.
day after posting the comment, he was strolling out of
ex-Speaker Dennis Hastert's office. A
quicker-thinking reporter might have asked for the
distinction between a permanent fossil and the other
kind. Instead, the query that came out was, basically,
why single out The Dallas Morning News?
"What have you done to me? Read the articles," he said,
weren't there plenty of other papers exposing the
ethical transgressions, the lobbyist-paid golf trips,
the strong-arm tactics involving the K Street Project?
"That's why I want them all to go away," Mr. DeLay said.
Pssstt, Tom. Over here. Listen up, Dude. That going
away part? Well …. uh …. would ya?
Where would we get our laughs if there were no more
Tomboy and Newtie? So Newtie doesn't want anyone
talking about the important issues of the day, huh?
Ok let's just talk about the old scandals of the
past like say his wives, or maybe Watergate, Iran
Contra, oh we could go on and on.
Tomboy, that's another story..no newspapers, ok.
We can still get our corruption updates on him from
the internets..all of the internets not just the
one approved by Tomboy and Newtie called FOX.
What a couple of old time losers. They sound like
they don't like free speech.
The fat lady ain’t singing yet, but she sure is
clearing her throat.
The sons and daughters of some iconic Republicans (Ike!
T.R.!) are contemplating crossing the aisle.
Democrats: Cleaning up Republican Messes Since 1933!
We cannot afford any more of this conservatism
crapola and all of America is beginning to realize it.
Michael Dimock of the Pew Research Center says that
Republican party identification has dropped "quite a
bit." In 2002, 30 percent of Americans identified
themselves as Republicans, 31 percent as Democrats. This
year it's 25 percent Republican, 33 percent Dems.
Independents, Dimock says, are leaning "much more
America can do better and even the Republicans know it!
May 4 -
Well, it’s not against the rules to do the wild thing with
an intern in the Oval Office, but you guys pitched a
walleyed snot nosed hissy fit about that.
Paul Wolfowitz is now saying that
it’s not his fault.
Bank directors put the finishing touches on their report
into the pay raise for Paul Wolfowitz's companion as the
agency's president blamed “ambiguous rules”' for his
involvement in her promotion.
I’ve made my position clear on this. Give that woman
all the damn money. She’s earned it.
Plus, if Wolfowitz is that
he has a girlfriend, can you even imagine how vicious he’d
be if he wasn’t getting any hoochy-koochy? He'd have
to nuke something. No, seriously. He would.
Nukes are just too phallic for him to let be. Do you
want to be responsible for that? No? Well then
give that woman all the damn money.
4 - Thank you to Nick Anderson for an explanation
of why Republicans won't say Bush.
watched the Republicans last night.
I have some questions.
1. How come they mentioned Ronald Reagan 19 times but
never said Bush even once.
2. Who were the guys who raised their hands saying
they didn’t believe in evolution before the camera quickly
shifted away from that disturbing thought?
3. Why do they all look alike? Is that some kind of
4. Why didn’t they have some old coot hollering, “Who
you gonna abort, Rudy? Who you gonna abort?”
5. Where did John McCain get that goshawful necktie?
1. Bush's name is now MUD
2.The 3 that raised their hands were Brownback,
Huckabee and Tancredo-who obviously never evolved
3. They ARE all alike-rich old white guys
4. Couldn't find one who could the words out without
5. Probably chased someone down and stole it.
Right on that they are all old white guys-- but
also look at the audience -- all white people,
mainly old pickle people. I kept wishing Mathews
would ask the question how can a group of all rich
white guys could represent the nation which
includes women, other races and religions. But of
course never happened.
May 3 -
Christmas in May!
Grover Norquist, Mr. Conservative is rumored to be in
the DeeCee Madam’s little blue book.
Okay, if DeLay is in the book, I'll spring for the
Margaritas! However, Grover is certainly worth some
chips and salsa.
So Susan, do you see claims of a vast left wing
conspiracy in our future? A stained Gstring? DNA
from the whip? I know some guys in a band who just
might play for chips and margarites-what a party it
Well, hit me with a ball and give me first base. The
Republicans are questioning the patriotism of Lt. Col.
(and Democratic State Representative)
Rick Noriega. Damn, dumb is trickling down.
The Texas Homeland Security Director Republican Steve
McCraw sent a testy letter to Noriega questioning
Noriega’s capacity to understand border security. Read
the prissy little
letter right here.
Noriega, just in case you didn’t know,
served most recently as deputy garrison commander of the
KMTC training facility in Kabul, Afghanistan as part of
Operation Enduring Freedom and as the Laredo Border Sector
Commander, Operation Jump Start.
Operation Jump Start. You’d think the Director of
Texas Homeland Security would know what that is. Noriega
was the border section commander. Best we can figure,
McCraw ate at a Mexican restaurant once.
Even fellow Republicans are admitting that McCraw’s
letter was a “huge error,” and one State Rep offered the
lame excuse that McCraw might lack people
skills but that he is a good patriot.
Patriot? Uh sure, because being a patriot is even
better than being right. That comes straight from
Mr. Crib Note Guy below.
When the Repubs have their debate tonight do you
think they will take their hoods off or wear
different colored sheets so we can tell them apart?
May 3 -
really, no matter what you’ve heard,
he can read. Which is a good thing when you need crib
notes to say Hello.
W. Bush holds his notes before addressing a ceremony
honoring the National Day of Prayer in the East Room of
the White House in Washington May 3, 2007. REUTERS/Kevin
Lamarque (UNITED STATES)
May 3 -
I hate to toot my own horn, but it looks like I was out
this exceptionally important issue.
Two years after writing a law requiring
highway "Welcome to Texas" signs to tout the state as
the home of President Bush, state Rep. Ken Paxton today
passed a bill that will remove the designation once the
43rd president leaves office.
By the way,
Paxton is a Republican.
Either he’s drinking again or eating too much fried
chicken, but I liked it better when he hid out on the
“ranch” and didn’t say anything at all.
way, in the report it said, it is -- the government may
have to put in more troops to be able to get to that
position. And that's what we do. We put in more troops
to get to a position where we can be in some other
place. The question is, who ought to make that decision?
The Congress or the commanders? And as you know, my
position is clear -- I'm the commander guy.
And then this –
"Success is not no violence."
the way, he cannot call the Crawford land a “ranch.” Any
man who is scared of horses cannot have a ranch. It’s the
May 2 -
headline says ----
Giuliani’s Tie to Texas Law Firm May Pose Risk
It should read ---
Politician’s Tie to Anything Texan May Pose Risk
George W. Bush and Thomas D. DeLay have made Texas akin to
the plague. They should have “I Heart Oklahoma” tattooed
on their butts and be dropped buck nakkid on the fifty
yard line at the next UT / A&M game. Then they should be
deported to Pittsburg.
That’s my suggestion and it’s a damn good one.
I got no problem with the first part, but
deporting them both to Pittsburgh? Please.
Pennsylvanians sure don't want 'em either. Heck,
we saved the world from a possible President Rick
Santorum and this is the thanks we get?
May I suggest Iraq? Or, since Bush loves to clear
brush and stuff at the ranchette, how about the
lower 9th ward of New Orleans? I'm sure there's
still plenty of clean up work there that can keep
them both out of trouble for a few years.
Your Dam Yankee Friend in Spring,
Please tell Lorraine that Pittsburg is a town of
about 5,000 mostly poor people in the piney woods
of northeast Texas; add an "h' to the end and
you've got the Pittsburgh where W thinks vampires
get their pencils. Now I don't know how DeLay,
especially, would do in Pittsburg, which is better
known for hot links than hot tubs. But I've got
a feeling there are probably a good many people in
Pittsburg that would be able to tell both Bush and
DeLay right where they should go and help 'em
get there faster than they can blame Bill Clinton
for, well, anything. Now, speaking of Clinton,
maybe they ought to be deported to Arkansas, where
they can really appreciate those tattoos. And
DeLay might like Hot Springs.
From Wikipedia, on Pittsburg, Texas: "The
median income for a household in the city is
$24,789, and the median income for a family is
$28,398. Males have a median income of $28,750
versus $20,042 for females. The per capita income
for the city is $14,882. 27.7% of the population
and 23.8% of families are below the poverty line.
Out of the total population, 38.8% of those under
the age of 18 and 14.1% of those 65 and older are
living below the poverty line."
But the town paints a picture at their
official site to take you back to
a kinder, more genteel time.
Pittsburg, Texas? Oops.
I guess I shouldn't get too
excited if hubby says he wants to take me to
Paris now, huh?
Thanks to Sue Ann for the
May 2 -
I know 222 Republicans who need to send their children
to the military recruiter's office today.
Our friend David sent us this to keep the President's
insanity in mind:
perspective for propaganda fans:
George W. Bush,
“Victory means exit
strategy, and it’s important for the president to
explain to us what the exit strategy is.”
And on the specific need for a
George W. Bush,
Scripps Howard/Seattle Post-Intelligencer:
“I think it’s also
important for the president to lay out a timetable as
to how long they will be involved and when they will
I'm telling you,
he's eating chicken and it's destroying his brain.
- Well, Governor Rick Perry took us to national
embarrassment again. Just as I
suspected he would.
Thanks to Nick
Anderson at the Washington Post.
May 1 - ARMPAC, Tom DeLay's illegitimate child, is
closed for business.
With a final $1,400 payment to the Federal Election
Commission last month settling an audit dispute,
Americans for a Republican Majority then filed its
termination papers with the commission April 24.
Thus ends one more chapter in the storied political
rise and fall of DeLay.
But, he hasn't
hit bottom yet. No, sireee. There's more
coming and you can bet your best pair of pink boots on it.
Governor Rick Perry thinks there’s just not enough crazy
people carrying guns in Texas Especially in bars and
Lord, you gotta love Texas, where – in the words of
Peter Gent – a gun is just an extension of man’s
winkie. Apparently, Governor Perry needs an extra-long
he’s willing to risk crossfire just to be endowed.
Rick Perry said Monday that Texans who are legally
licensed should be able to carry their concealed
handguns anywhere, including churches, bars, courthouses
and college campuses.
think it makes sense for Texans to be able to protect
themselves from deranged individuals, whether they're in
church, or whether on a college campus or wherever they
are," he said.
Now, if anybody knows deranged, it’s Rick Perry.
I am opposed to concealed handguns. I think that if
you’re gonna tote heat, you should have to wear it in a
holster so I can see it, dammit. I want to walk the hell
outta wherever you are. I don’t trust you.
I am not anti-gun. I am anti-hiding-that-sucker.
Okay, it’s weird enough that Rick wants guns in bars
with drunk people settling arguments with more lead than a
sinker factory. But guns in church? Heaven help us, when
Sweet Jesus comes back, floating down from the heavens in
the sanctuary, Deacon Bubba is gonna think dove season is
open and pull out his winkie extension and blast Sweet
Jesus all the way to the taxidermist.
Admit it. You know that’s what would happen in
Laura at the War and Piece blog in DeeCee.
Actually, this is one of those things I think I knew but
forget 'til a former contact of one of the defense
contractors reminded me today. But just to refresh
everyone's memory, the DC Madam apparently
came to the Feds attention by way of the Wilkes/Wade
investigation. Which implies, her business and theirs
crossed paths. "The [Shirlington] limo guys reportedly
dished her to the Feds," this contact writes. "Shirlington
limousine used to pick up the DC madam girls to
entertain the 'boys' at the Watergate etc."
The DeeCee Madam says that the names of several
prominent lobbyists are on her list of clients. Who
lobbied for Wilkes?
The Alexander Strategy Group.
Did the DeeCee Madam supply hookers to Tom DeLay at
Ed Buckham's request? Just to tempt him, of course, not
for actual sex. Even hookers have standards.
Okay, if DeLay’s name is on that list, I ain’t
believing that he met them in hotel rooms to read them the
Gideon Bible or to hunt for those Nazis who were after
May 1 -
Hummm…. I wonder what the fool tarnation he’s
Okay, the Republicans are eating dog food or
something, because the crazzzy talk is trickling down.
Deb let us know about
this little cry for help from Jim Inhofe
Inhofe, who was appearing with Dick Cheney, misfired
some brain synapses and came out with this gem:
speaking to the press before Cheney's arrival, lambasted
Democrats for Thursday's Senate vote to begin withdrawal
from Iraq by Oct. 1 and the press for
"mischaracterizing" the reasons for U.S. involvement.
"The whole idea of weapons of mass destruction was never
the issue, yet they keep trying to bring this up,"
Pressed for an explanation, Inhofe said weapons of mass
destruction were "incidental" to the decision to invade
"The media made that the issue because they knew Saddam
Hussein had used weapons of mass destruction. So we knew
that they were there. But that was incidental to the
fact we were going after terrorist camps."
Okay, the weapons of mass destruction came from “them” and
Jim, Honey, you need to get away from Dick. He fed
you buckshot for breakfast so you’d shoot off your mouth
I had to send that Inhofe/Cheney article to my old
friends who I went to school with back in Tulsa
(some of us managed to escape) so we could have a
laugh. On the days I'm blue about Texas, I think
about Jim Inhofe & feel thankful instead, even if
Texas is almost as crazy. At least I don't think
I've heard any of ours denying the WMD claims.
Growing up there, most of us knew that Oklahoma
was behind the times, but I'm amazed that anybody
would fall for that "we never said that" business
he's trying to pass off now. It really MUST be
Stephanie up in
I sent the link on Senator Inhofe to my friend
Bob who responded thusly:
Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK) in
Our intelligence system has said that we know
that Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass
destruction — I believe including nuclear. There's
not one person on this panel who would tell you
unequivocally that he doesn't have the missile
means now, or is nearly getting the missile means
to deliver a weapon of mass destruction. And I for
one am not willing to wait for that to happen.
- My Freelancer friend sent me something this morning
that you might can use, too. I don't know where he
got it. He probably made it while looking for those
scissors he had ....
Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most
Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is
Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom
DeLay's old district. It's crazy here.
No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.
I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when
I got to know a few local Republicans. They are meaner
than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a
decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.
A lot of
what I post here has to do with local politics, but you
probably have the same folks in your local government.
a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. I've
been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you
and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.