Fort Bend Now
And a big
Matocha & Associates
like to make a comment,
email it to me
Email comments are in the blue boxes.
June 29 -
Why you should
watch The Daily Show instead of Fox News.
Fox makes you stoopid.
We prove, once again, that reality has a strong liberal
June 29 -
There is only one thing better than politics, and that's
baseball. And, there's only a handful of things
better than last night.
man did a great thing. Craig Biggio, who has
been a rare gift to the city of Houston, reached the
3,000 hits mark last night. Even making #3,000, he
pumps it and speeds for a double. Good all over
You can share in the pure, unadulterated, roll in the
mud and sing off key at the top of your lungs joy
June 28 -
Damn, I flat out love Texas.
As you've been hearing, we're trying to move Noah's
record here in Texas. We have 4 seasons here:
hurricane, drought, flood, and hotter than a two dollar
We've learned to make the best of things.
This gives a whole new meaning
This is Highway 56 in Valley Mills, Texas. And
that's Bubba, Joe Bob, Joe Bob Junior, and Dewayne.
My friend Donna says the boys are camped out on
the highway right in front of her mother's
June 28 -
We get email from Earl.
June 28 -
Poor Shelley Sekula-Gibbs. No, seriously, you gotta
feel a little bit sorry for the gal. She has to have
the worst sense of timing known to mankind.
Shelley announced yesterday that
she’s officially a candidate for CD 22. Yep, the
same day Tom DeLay took center stage with glorifying
statements about how everyone wanted him to lead this
country, but we’ve had to settle for less. Damn,
girl. Not smart.
This is the same gal (okay, so I cannot bring
myself to call her a woman) who sent out a mass email
saying that Nick Lampson “is acting like a liberal
again” while Nick Lampson was in intensive care
recovering from heart surgery.
And it’s the same gal who told reporters that she was
going to solve the world’s problems while Congress was
Oh well, on the upside, she had the hyphen legally
removed from her name. I bet that was painful! To be
honest, she should have had the large empty hole removed
from her brain instead.
June 27 -
The fat lady isn't even clearing her throat.
Calling it a "tortured decision," Travis County District
Attorney Ronnie Earle will seek a rehearing on the DeLay
Because of the important policy considerations involved
in protecting the public from felony criminal
conspiracies of all kinds, we will seek a rehearing of
this matter before the Court.
According to the
(subscription only) Earle likens the decision to making
it legal to "agree to conceal and destroy bank records
because that felony crime is in the Finance Code," among
To hear Tom DeLay tell it,
this picayune ruling is a Get Out of Jail Free
Card--and the South won the Civil War because
"we made the Yankees take us back."
June 27 -
BREAKING. The Austin American Statesman reports
that by a 5-4 decision, the Texas Supremes have
upheld Judge Pat Priest's decision on the dismissal
of one of the felony charges against Tom DeLay.
In the 5-4 decision, the court affirmed Judge Pat
Priest’s decision to throw out an indictment accusing
DeLay and his associates, Jim Ellis and John Colyandro,
of conspiring to violate state election laws. The Sugar
Land Republican, who retired from Congress in 2006
because of the indictments arising from the 2002
elections, still faces a charge of conspiring to launder
corporate money into campaign donations.
The fat lady ain't singing yet.
Okay, so now I have a few
minutes to post something about this.
Although you'd never know it to hear
DeLay go stark raving freekin' wacko about it, this
was not the substantive charge. The big charges
Additionally, he was not "cleared" in any manner
whatsoever. This is simply five Republican judges
out of nine said that what DeLay did was not a
conspiracy. What's shocking about this is that
four Republican judges actually ruled against him.
By the way, if I hear DeLay whine about his legal fees
one more time, I'm gonna start billing his legal team
for earplugs. DeLay sure didn't worry about all
the money he was costing the taxpayers when he was on
those fancy pants golf vacations, now did he?
June 27 -
Okay, so here’s the deal. A
construction company sent their writ twit to
commissioner’s court yesterday to let the public know
the low bidder did not get the contract on the new jail.
Attorney Greg Travis told court
members on Tuesday that his client, Cornerstone
Detention Products Inc. of Tanner, Ala., submitted a
low bid of $6.63 million to construct the jail cells.
However, he said he has been informed that San Antonio
Contractor CCC Group, which
submitted the high bid of $6.98 million for the work,
is being awarded the contract.
Oh, shock and awe! You mean
commissioners played favorites with vendors to the
county? Well, I’ll be a toad frog on a pool table.
That’s just shocking, shocking I tell you.
Mr. Travis, perhaps your client was a tad cheapo with
the kickbacks, oops, I meant to say campaign
contributions. This stuff happens all the time.
Here’s how it works: County Judge Bob Hebert likes
money - $5,000 per campaign reporting period is about
enough to cause him to like you. Commissioner Andy
Meyers generally gets a $2,500 cut, errr… donation. Tom
Stavinoha gets about a grand, but you have to take him
tickets to the ballgame and you’ll get the bill for his
livestock purchases at the county fair so your
“contribution” doesn’t show up on his campaign report.
James Patterson wants about a grand and you have to show
up to donate to his favorite charity when he’s the
I know that sounds like a lot of money, but you can
just add it in to your overall costs and pass it along
to the taxpayers. That way, nobody gets hurt. Well,
you know, except the taxpayers and they’re in the dark
because county commissioners hide their campaign finance
I’ve got 15 years of records to that show how this
game is played. Building a big project like the jail
requires enough kickbacks …. rats, I meant to say
campaign contributions …. to give our county
commissioners blue butt. But, sadly, not the good kind
of blue butt.
Good on Mr. Travis’ clients for having the guts to
stand up and say something. I like those guys.
similar note, Alfredo sent us a story about
Florida politicians who know how to stay bought!
June 27 -
I have a question.
I thought conservatives were all about family
values and giving parents control of their children. At
least that’s what they say.
Okay, so the conservative Supremes rule that a
school principal can discipline a child for doing
something perfectly legal off school grounds and not at
a school function. That means that if your child does
something legal in your backyard with your full
permission, even with you standing beside him or her,
the high school principal can up and decide willy-nilly
that he/she is offended and suspend your child from
Yo, conservatives! Listen up. You people scare
June 27 -
Chris Matthews (links to YouTube) for exploiting a
woman with obvious mental health problems yesterday.
Watching poor Ann Coulter, who wears a cocktail
dress everywhere she goes, flip her hair and smirk at an
accomplished woman, was painful.
It’s obvious that Ann Coulter is a woman who has
never loved or been loved.
Bless Anne's heart!
It's just not fair that all the poor woman has
to wear is that leather cocktail dress...summer,
winter, night or day. Between the dress, the
God talk, and that cunning little crucifix on
her necklace, Anne so reminds me of a cross
between Betty Page and Mother Theresa.
When you act like you've been raised by fire
ants, I guess the fashion sense and the common
sense are both absent.
I’m not saying that it’s a Good-Ole-Boy Return of the
Son of Lollapalooza or anything, but … well, wait,
that’s exactly what I’m saying.
In a move just like giving enormous pay raises to
their friends, while
hiding it behind modest pay raises for law enforcement,
I just scanned this out of yesterday’s Herald Whatever.
Read the first paragraph. Why
does the county need to rent the entire first floor of a
medical building? And even if they need more space,
which they do not, why would they pick a building where
there is never any place to park? I quit going to a
doctor in that building simply because I could never
find a parking place.
There is a large strip center down the road for
rent double dirty cheap if they truly do need space.
And there’s plenty of parking there.
Why this building?
Come on, people, think.
The county rents a house from Vacek for $4000 per
month for one or two people so why not a whole floor
of a building with no parking for who knows how much
$$$$ for a few folks .... it's just $$$$$$
June 26 -
Sally Quinn makes a case that Darth Cheney (see
below why I can't call him Dick
anymore) should resign this summer when he's scheduled
to have the battery changed in his pacemaker.
The big question right now among Republicans is how
to remove Vice President Cheney from office. Even
before this week's blockbuster series in The Post,
discontent in Republican ranks was rising.
As the reputed architect of the war in Iraq, Cheney
is viewed as toxic, and as the administration's
leading proponent of an attack on Iran, he is seen as
dangerous. As long as he remains vice president,
according to this thinking, he has the potential to
drag down every member of the party -- including the
presidential nominee -- in next year's elections.
Miss Sally, who are you gonna
get to go tell him that he has to resign? He ain't
gonna go willingly. Look, we've seen what the man
can do with a shotgun. It's going to take somebody
on a suicide mission to tell him to pack his bags.
Hummm ... now that I think about it, I do have a few
I think Ms. Quinn
might be the harbinger of a 'plot' to have
Darth resign, spend more time with his new
grandchild, and have someone electable step
in. It's so very cunning. I believe that
dreadful Fred Thompson is being touted, but
I'm sure you're way up on that already!!!!
Sybil in NM
June 25 -
If county commissioners are unwilling to disclose what
pay raises they are considering for county employees,
then you can bet your Roy Rogers lunchbox that some
commissioner’s good-ole-boy is getting an undeserved
These guys keep right on amazing me with their
arrogance of Republicanism attitude ...
J.C. Whitten, acting county human
resources director, said the item under consideration
involves an “interim adjustment” in pay, involving
seven pay periods covering the remainder of the
current fiscal year. [and then….]
Beyond that, Whitten declined to
provide specific details of what compensation changes
are to be contemplated, saying, “I’d rather not go
into that until it’s approved.”
No, no, no, no, no. This is
still a democracy, even though you can’t tell it by
watching the fluffy white boys scratch each other’s
backs in secret. If you’re going to pass something at a
meeting, you have to let the public know what you’re
voting on in advance so they can call you on the phone
and holler, “Are you freekin’ nuts or are you drunk
Not that it will do any good. I once had
Commissioner Tom Stavinoha’s solemn promise not to vote
on something until the people had more input. His
solemn on this grandmother’s grave promise. Then he
went to the meeting and Judge Bob Hebert intimidated him
by using three syllable words and old Tom folded like a
cheap suitcase at the train station.
But, the public has a constitutional right to know
what’s fixing to happen so they can least be lied to all
I knew somebody was getting a raise they didn't
deserves and, sure 'nuff, it looks like some folks in JC
Whitten's Human Resources department are getting the
biggest raises. I'll bet you two to one that
they're ladies. Like I've said before, getting
dates for JC has cost this county more than any damn
bridge to nowhere.
It's a common trick. Give law enforcement a
little bitty raise than sneak in enormous raises for a
few of your friends. I've plowed this field before.
Plus, I'm real nervous about JC Whitten still being the
acting Human Resources director. I know how JC
acts. This is a lawsuit just waiting to happen.
June 24 -
We get some educational email from Patrick.
will give you your blog rating for your site.
You check out some of your favorites as well.
I don't think you should tell your mom about
this, but I think you'll be very surprised at
Dear Patrick -
Well, damn, The Big Ass Fan Company and Vice
President Dick Cheney got me an R rating.
Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney. Dick
Cheney. Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney
tortures people with his Big Ass Fan.
Well, that should do it.
June 24 -
Okay, would somebody please explain to me why
I'm reading about this in the Los Angles Times
instead of the Houston Chronicle or Galveston Daily
GALVESTON, TEXAS — Leaders of this fast-eroding barrier
island — the scene of the deadliest hurricane in
American history — are about to approve nearly 4,000 new
homes and two midrise hotels despite geologists'
warnings that the massive development would sever a
ridge that serves as the island's natural storm shield.
My parents used to have
waterfront property near Baycliff on Second Street.
Think about it.
Anyone who spent 7 hours to go 16 miles during the last
hurricane evacuation, as I did, knows that putting more
people in Galveston may not the be brightest idea.
However, in gross and disgusting contrast to not
hearing about that story around here, the
Houston Chronicle's front page today headlined this
Shortly after Hurricane
Rita sent 3.6 million Texans rushing to the state's
highways, Gov. Rick Perry called a task force together
to find better ways to handle a mandatory evacuation
and avoid the chaotic traffic jams that became the
While public sessions
were held so Texans could vent frustrations about
gridlock and fuel-less gas stations, another meeting
behind closed doors took place between state disaster
officials and executives of some of the biggest names
in the industry: Shell, Citgo, Chevron, Valero,
ConocoPhillips, Exxon Mobil and Marathon.
Oh yeah, I really trust those behind closed doors
meetings with state officials and oil companies.
Good Lord, there ought to be laws of physics involved
for even letting those two groups to meet anywhere.
I'll bet my best pair of pink boots that they sent us a
bill for the damn doors, somebody got a kickback and
somebody else got free season passes to the Dallas
Cowboy home games.
I lived through
Carla, Honey. And I know this county's levee
system is far too low. Hurricane comes - me go.
It was in the
Houston Chronicle. Just buried somewhere, I
don't remember. I can read and do. That's why I
am so dangerous. I am also an old surfer(waves)
and am very familiar with that part of
Along with the danger to the west end. Offats
Bayou, That stretch of water along 61st street
is also a danger zone. The Island could be cut
there by Cat3 storm. But why worry, Developers
are allowed to build houses where just as much
water as the Gulf of Mexico flows, when it
rains. Big Business is more important than
logic, reason and responsibility. Isn't it
Amazing that that those stupid old Greeks
actually taught Logic in their schools.
June 23 - OH WOW!
The Big Ass Fan Tee-Shirt contest
is over and Scott is the winner. In more ways than
After Scott bid $100, he emailed me saying that he was
going out of town and he'd put a $100 check to the USO
in the mail to me before he left. He said that
even if he lost, to go ahead and send the $100 check to
the USO because "they can use the money." Heckuva
Oh, it gets better.
Lo and behold, this morning, I get this letter in the
mail from Scott. You know the drill - click on the
little one to get the big one.
Enclosed was a personal check
made out to the USO for $500. Five hundred
Ya know, some days it's worth getting out of bed to
blog. Democrats are the best folks in the world
and I want to thank Scott for helping me prove it.
Scott lives in Bellingham, Washington, but I ain't
giving you his last name because I don't want you
A hug to the good folks at the
Big Ass Fan Company
for the shirts, and to Scott for helping to make the
life a soldier a little easier.
And by the way, even Momma says that you can say the A
word if it raises $500 for the USO.
June 22 -
Oh please, Sweet Jesus, don't let him touch anything.
Bush at the nuclear power
station in Alaska. Dude, I wouldn't even let him
lean back in that chair.
From Dave ---
June 22 -
Our friend David sent us some pictures that are worth a
thousand words. They speak of the condition of the
Republican Party ---
Yes, those are Shelley Sekula
Gibbs signs after a tractor mower ran them over in the
right of way.
June 22 -
Okay, this doesn't have anything to do with politics,
but it does have something to do with philosophy and the
nature of things.
So I know a lot of weird stuff happens in Texas, but
this could only happen in Aladamnbama. There
is no love like that of a man and his pickup truck.
A Huntsville man found a trip to the gas pump to be more
than just painful to his wallet Wednesday afternoon.
Dwight Clark was in the parking lot of Medical Arts
Pharmacy apparently trying to clear some gunk from
around the opening to his gas tank with his finger
when it became stuck, said Huntsville Fire & Rescue
Capt. Nolen Locke.
After folks at the pharmacy on Whitesburg Drive
couldn't help with his dilemma, Huntsville Fire &
Rescue, the Madison County Rescue Squad and HEMSI were
"His finger went in past the knuckle and was
stuck," Locke said. "People had sprayed WD40 all over,
but that didn't work."
Without cutting the metal, Locke said they tried
several ways to free Clark because he didn't want them
damage this truck.
first of all, I am not even going to comment on why
Bubbas all over the South just gotta stick their fingers
in things. Testosterone forbids he should get a
stick or something.
I will, however, ask why men spray WD40 on everything.
Dewayne over at Gripey Ralph's Transmission Repair
Company once sprayed WD40 on a stuck zipper.
Tragically, he did not remove his pants first and did
not notice that Ralph's blow torch was a tad too close
by .... the rest, as they say, can be read in the
divorce papers because Debi Sue decided that maybe
Dewayne wasn't such a good breeder after all.
Okay, so here's this guy standing around with his
finger stuck in the gas tank of his pick up which has to
be at least mildly embarrassing. He has had to
call out every emergency vehicle in town. He has
been sprayed with various chemicals, and you know it's
gotta be hot enough to fry a steak on his bald spot, but
noooo..... don't damage his pickup. Cut off his
arm first, dammit.
Lordy, Lordy, I love Bubbas.
June 22 -
Talk about arrogance in a box with a
bow on top! Vice President Dick Cheney has proven
not to be a big fan of democracy.
four years, Vice President Dick Cheney has resisted
routine oversight of his office’s handling of
classified information, and when the National Archives
unit that monitors classification in the executive
branch objected, the vice president’s office suggested
abolishing the oversight unit, according to documents
released yesterday by a Democratic congressman.
Personally, I think the only
reason that Bush hasn’t been impeached is Cheney. I
think he did that whole shoot-your-friend-in-the-face
deal just to make us even more scared of him.
June 21 -
We get email from Earl and from Elaine ---
Here's a report on commercial
Rightspeak (Reichspeak?) Radio nationally.
Look at the Houston graph, then pop your eyes
back into their sockets. Dan Patrick's KSEV has
been carrying promos about how the other FOUR
Houston Rightspeak stations are firing their local
hosts and replacing them with cheaper syndicated
programming. Isn't loyalty wonderful?
I hear you had trouble finding
the filler plug for the kerosene on your new
Now you know why I got myself an
electric satellite radio, a shortwave radio, and a
scanner - I will do anything to avoid rightwing
I'll have you know that I parted
with some major bucks for this fancy-pants new
computer. Poo on kerosene, my friend, this
sucker is diesel powered!
and thought I'd share it with you since you have
so much experience with retired exterminators.
What the heck is it with these guys?
Maybe they were using the special Tom Delay Bug
Killer and Anti-Government Mix. Here - take a
Convicted tax evaders Ed and Elaine Brown are
barricaded in their compound
The couple taunts police with references to 1992
Ruby Ridge shootout
Tense neighbors in New Hampshire fear the
standoff could end violently
The Browns' home on an isolated dirt roads
includes a turret that offers a 360-degree view of
the property and a driveway that is sometimes
barricaded with SUVs.
Ed Brown, a retired exterminator, and his wife, a
dentist, have bragged that the compound is
self-sufficient and capable of running entirely on
solar, wind and geothermal energies.
Susan, I say we ban exterminators. Hasn't Tom
already proven they are a danger to
Your Dam Yankee Friend in Spring,
Yep - that's the DeLay mix all right. Have
they robbed a bank yet or installed a hot tub?
June 21 -
The good folks over at South Texas Chisme (and, no, I
ain't gonna translate that for you
fools in Oak Point, Texas) are
how mean is Governor Rick Perry?
An 84 year old Texas House cook was
forced to retire. Even though she worked for the state
more than 30 years, Texas retirement rules counted less
than 15. Grateful legislators changed that rule for her,
Perry vetoed it. How bloody mean is that!
Chisme explain that Perry was
playing cowboy with members of the Lege and the 84 year
old woman was an innocent bystander in a pistol whipping
I will you this - Rick Perry is meaner than ten acres
of snakes and so lowdown that you couldn't put a rug
He's also a little sissy boy who has retired honest women do
his fighting for him.
June 21 -
Just for fun, my friend Ann sent a great website to buy
stuff for your weird friends. You can make
political or philosophical statements with
swag from this joint.
Personally, I love the Dick Cheney notecards, the
Shakespearean insult mug, and anything Calvin and
Hobbes. You'll have fun looking around.
June 20 -
Okay, I think we're kinda online. I'm still having
trouble sending email but we can get that fixed in the
morning. I imagine I'll be a little shaky for a
few days what with having to learn new stuff. So,
if I don't answer your emails right away, it ain't
because I don't like you. At least not totally.
And, just to make for a perfect storm, I broke the
power cord on my laptop tonight.
A big giant thanks to
Dave for putting
up with my pacing all afternoon and evening.
June 20 -
gonna be honest with ya. My ‘puter machine is so old
that we had to carbon date it to figure out what was the
first operating system on it.
We think it was Windows 95. Seriously. A nerd who used
to live in my house says we could take it on the Antique
Road Show and have someone comment on how nice it looks
considering its age.
Over the years, I have added memory, another hard
drive, updated the operating system at least three
times, maybe four. This sucker is being held together
with duck tape and a prayer, and we’re edging close to
laying on of hands to keep it running.
I have a birthday this weekend and no, I do not
want to talk about it, except that I’m getting a brand
spankin’ new computer for my birthday.
We’ll probably start trying to install it
tomorrow. So, if I miss posting for a couple of days
because I’m trying to find all the drivers for all the
junk I have hooked up to this sucker and I’m busy
cussing and hollering because you can’t buy Frontpage
anymore and I love Frontpage and I’m too damn old to
learn another web program because when I learned to do
website construction, you had to do it in code and
there’s not room for new stuff in my head with all
outdated stuff filling it up and, yes, I’m a little
anxious about all this.
My techie says everything will go smoothly but I
don’t trust him because nothing ever goes smoothly with
me and electronics. Coke machines still steal my money.
I have a laptop to use if everything crashes.
However, I'm from Texas so my BIG ole desktop is my
If you don't hear from me for a week, notify the proper
authorities. I don't know who'd that be, but you
can figure it out or something.
June 20 -
Okay, it has fallen on me to explain things to people
from foreign states.
Our Governor, Rick Perry, is missing a cog in his
thinker assembly. He's not in the full upright and
locked position, if you know what I mean. But,
don't make fun of us, because the last Governor we had
like that ended up in the White House. We're real
good at crazzzy in Texas.
The latest is that our Governor
vetoed a bill that nobody objected to - except for
one anonymous phone caller, that would save money and
Gov. Rick Perry's veto of a ban on diesel-fueled
school buses idling unnecessarily stunned its
sponsors, partly because the change had widespread
support from school groups and hadn't previously drawn
an objection from Perry's office.
The veto, among 55 made public late last week, also
appears contradictory to a pitch by the Bush
administration to curb bus emissions exposing children
to fine particles that can trigger asthma attacks.
there's a vacuum of leadership in the pro-asthma attack
caucus, and Rick Perry stepped up to fill that need, my
friends. You think it's easy being pro-asthma and
in favor of fuel wastes during these times? No, it
is not. But, Rick Perry doesn't just fall into
line like a .... well, a sane person.
The truth is that instead of saying, "Gee, I dunno, I
was in a veto signing mood that day," or "I used the
eenie, meenie, miney, mo method of veto determination,"
or "Oops, read the word idle, thought they were talking
about me and ....", our Governor is trying to explain
why he did this nutty thing using words like these....
In his veto message, the Republican governor states
that schools should focus on core functions, including
classroom instruction and extracurricular activities.
"If schools believe they should also regulate and
enforce school bus idling policies, I think they
should do so, not because it is mandated by the state,
but because they have chosen to do so as a matter of
policy decided on the local level," Perry states.
the State mandates everything else in the schools.
Rick didn't think it should be up to local districts
whether or not kids could pray at school.
The spokes are missing from his wheel. That's why
he vetoed it. Just say it. For Pete Sake,
everyone knows he's nuts.
June 19 -
the Vatican has issued the Ten Commandments for driving
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Thou shall not drive under
the influence of alcohol. Thou shall respect speed
limits. Thou shall not consider a car an object of
personal glorification or use it as a place of sin.
The Vatican took a break from strictly theological
matters Tuesday to issue its own rules of the road, a
compendium of do's and don'ts on the moral aspects of
driving and motoring.
A 36-page document called "Guidelines for the
Pastoral Care of the Road" contains 10 Commandments
covering everything from road rage, respecting
pedestrians, keeping a car in good shape and avoiding
rude gestures while behind the wheel.
We can sum it up a little better in Texas, “Drive
Friendly, and no hanky panky in the backseat.”
You know there used to be so many
Czech immigrants in Texas that it was called "the
third language of Texas" at one time. They asked an
old timer whether it wasn't difficult coming to a
new country where you didn't know the language, and
he replied: "Oh no! Most of us already spoke enough
German to get by." See, the Czechs tended to settle
near the Germans.
There's a story that a Czech from
the Old Country was visiting Texas in the late 1800s
and he was surprised to hear two boys speaking Czech
while he was riding a train. Well, he looks around
and sees two young BLACK boys sitting in a corner
chattering away in Czech. O.K., now I gotta 'splain
a coupla things to make the joke work. See, on the
frontier there weren't any orphanages, so orphans
tended to get adopted by whichever family was
handiest and willing. And there are two types of
Czechs, Bohemians and Moravians, with the Moravians
always complaining about being given the bum's rush
by the Bohemians. Now back to the story . . .
So our visitor walks up to the
two Black boys and says in wonderment in Czech, "Are
you boys Bohemians?" And they reply proudly, "NO!
One thing that is being missed in this story, is
that if you have ever been in Italy and tried to
cross the street, and had a near miss by a car full
of nuns you would understand why he would put this
Boston drivers are unpredictable, New Yorkers are
aggressive, Texas drivers – well more than one
little old blue hair has kept me from making an exit
off the interstate, then slowed down, not to mention
the “Pink Lights” at intersections, Quebec drivers
are also aggressive, but all pale in comparison to
the Italian Driver. In Italy Anarchy rules the
roads, you don’t even feel safe on the sidewalks in
Rome. If you think the old west was wild you
haven’t been near the streets in Italy.
Here in Vermont drivers will routinely stop to let
someone cross the road, they wave their hand across
and say, “go on, go on” and if we get 3 cars at a
stopsign we consider it a traffic jam.
PS. Hope things are drying out down there.
June 19 -
Just out of the clear blue,
just like that!, the good folks at the
Ass Fan Company sent me some of their tee-shirts to
auction off for charity around here.
They sell their swag to benefit two charities: disabled
vets and a home for
wayward donkeys, which, of course, is where I plan
Last week, I made a comment on this site that I wanted
one of their tee-shirts, and they sent me a box of those
They said I could use them for any charity I want to.
Tell ya what I'm gonna do. The guy who told me
about the Big Ass Fan Company gets a tee-shirt for his
favorite charity auction. Murdeen already gave me
a check made out to the American Cancer Society for her
shirt, which she says she's gonna wear if I wear mine
because mortification is an emotion to be shared.
But here's where you come in. I've got these
shirts in black and white, size large and extra-large,
and I'm gonna auction one off right here and now.
Here's the rules, because you gotta have rules.
You email me and tell me how much you're willing to pay
for this super cool tee-shirt.
You make the check out to the
USO, because that's my
next favorite charity, but you'll send the check to me,
and I will forward it to the USO so I know it got there.
I don't trust nobody. I have been disappointed by too
many politicians to trust anybody. Ain't that a
Or, you can donate online and send me a copy of the
email receipt. I'll mail you the shirt at my
The bidding starts at $15. I'll end this sucker
on Friday night.
You get a shirt and a tax write-off. You cannot
pass that up! Plus, think of how you could
embarrass your kids by wearing this shirt. That
alone is worth the cost.
I'll keep score right here----
The bid for the
Big Ass Fan tee-shirt is currently at $100.
I have a hundred dollar check that says I really
need this t-shirt. My neighbors in Bellingham, Wa
will just not believe what a Texas transplant will
wear in public.
June 19 -
Okay, so there's 2,200 people in Oak Point, Texas, who
can't hardly even speak proper English, but are of a
pester everybody else about their language ....
A divided City Council has passed a resolution
making English the official language of this North
The resolution prohibits the
council from passing policies or ordinances limiting
the role of English as a common language in the city,
which has about 2,200 people and is located 30 miles
northwest of Dallas.
ain't all. No, sireee. There's a reason they
did this thing.
"I've heard from quite a few
neighbors from the positive side," council member Mark
Rakestraw said. "They don't want another dime of their
tax money spent on" translating government documents
into Spanish, he said.
tell you what, Mr. Rakestraw, when all the Mexican,
Cajun, Czech, and Vietnamese restaurants in town quit
translating their menus, your butt is going to starve to
death. Two can play this game.
The good news is that "the measure was opposed by most
of the people who turned out at Monday's council
meeting," and anybody with a good sense of humor will
start checking Mr. Rakestraw for proper English grammar.
June 18 -
the boy needs to see an addiction specialist?
White House officials made extensive use of their RNC
e-mail accounts. The RNC has preserved
140,216 e-mails sent or received by Karl Rove. Over
half of these e-mails (75,374) were sent to or
received from individuals using official “.gov” e-mail
accounts. Other heavy users of RNC e-mail accounts
include former White House Director of Political
Affairs Sara Taylor (66,018 e-mails) and Deputy
Director of Political Affairs Scott Jennings (35,198
e-mails). These e-mail accounts were used by White
House officials for official purposes, such as
communicating with federal agencies about federal
appointments and policies.
There has been extensive destruction of the e-mails of
White House officials by the RNC. Of the 88
White House officials who received RNC e-mail
accounts, the RNC has preserved no e-mails for 51
officials. In a deposition, Susan Ralston, Mr. Rove’s
former executive assistant, testified that many of the
White House officials for whom the RNC has no e-mail
records were regular users of their RNC e-mail
One hundred and forty thousand emails on just one
account for Karl Rove? Ho boy, add that to the ten
thousand he sent to the ladies on the
firstname.lastname@example.org account and you’re
looking at a man with a problem. Okay, so I just made
up that hotboy email account, but you know he has one
like that. He's just gotta.
People have often pondered on why Nixon didn’t
destroy the tapes. The answer is: mainly because it’s
illegal. Illegal doesn’t bother these guys.
Them and illegal? Practically eating out of the
June 18 -
Our county judge, Bob Hebert, ought to run for Congress.
He's already got one part down well - paying family
members from your campaign funds.
Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington
(CREW) released its first-ever analysis of the misuse
of power by the chairmen and ranking members of all
House of Representative committees and subcommittees,
as well as top leadership positions, to financially
benefit their family members. The new report,
Family Affair, names 96 members from 33 states:
44 Democrats and 53 Republicans.
To view the report, please visit the
Family Affair website page.
Congress are having a ball enriching their family
Go take a look for yourself - there's quite a few
Texans on the list. While you're there,
download the whole report and read it. It's
In Texas, it's illegal to pay either a spouse or a
dependent child from your campaign account.
However, it's perfectly legal to pay an adult child all
you want, just ask Tom DeLay and Andy Meyers. I
guess it's Meyers that bothers me the most because at
least DeLay's daughter votes. Meyer's son doesn't
even bother to vote in general elections.
June 18 - Our
friend David sent me this really, really cool graphic
Purple America from 1960 forward and the changing
It's just another fun political nerd tool for you to
June 18 - I
see that some of the Texas Progressive Alliance bloggers
(they won't let me join) have started a
Draft Movement for my favorite candidate for United
States Senate from Texas, Rick Noriega.
Good on 'um.
Now, I don't know this for a fact, but I've heard from
people who know about these kinds of things that the
characters of Matt Santos and his wife on The West Wing
were based on Rick and Melissa Noriega. Everybody
out there who knows Rick and Melissa is now shaking
their heads up and down.
June 17 - Tom
DeLay gave Houston a new city councilwoman who's a
Democrat. Ain't that grand!
Noreiga won the seat that was formerly .... well, I
hate to say "occupied" because it was hard to say she
was there, even when she was there ... Shelley Sekula
When Gibbs ran in the special election to hold DeLay's
congressional office for a month, she had to retire from
city council. She won because Democrats wisely
chose not to run a candidate in that special election.
Shelley served for a whole month, while Congress was on
Christmas vacation. Dumb. Dog dump dumb.
Democrats won the full term congressional seat in
November. And last night, Democrats won Shelley's
city council seat making it a DeLay Double Down.
Thank you for
retreating and surrendering, Tom!
Hal has pictures of the fat lady singing. What
Hal doesn't tell you is that he was pretty much in
charge of the part of Houston that's in Fort Bend County
for Melissa. He delivered her 79% of the vote.
Yep, he ought to be half-full today.
Okay, let's see what we can do to get
Rick Noriega elected to the Senate.
June 15 -
Have I told you lately that John Kelso cracks me up?
He's now got an idea to put the
Bush Presidential library in Albania, and if that
doesn't work .....
The other idea I had was to put
the George W. Bush Presidential Library in a
bookmobile and drive it around Texas. That way, it
could be out of everybody's town by sundown.
who's going to pay the toll road fees for the
bookmobile? That could run into thousands of
dollars before it even cleared the Panhandle.
Super idea. I'll volunteer to
drive the bookmobile!
June 15 - Just
in time for your weekend entertainment. MB sent us
this really cool opportunity to Play Texas Lege!
It's called the
Redistricting Game and shows how you can insure
victories for your political party for a full decade if
you can elect a majority to the State Lege just one
It's like pretending to Tom DeLay without the hot tub
or the fancy vacations with Jack Abramoff. Have
June 15 -
Brahahaha. It's fun to watch Republicans become
their own worst enemy with fighting greed factors.
Our own State Senator
Glenn Hegar is
to blame for killing a charming Republican bill to screw
landowners out of their property to build toll roads all
over the damn state.
But, Hegar didn't do this to help Texas landowners, of
He did it to help a fellow Republican politician,
For most of the session, the bill enjoyed the full
support of Perry and other top leaders. But critics
say the amendment by Sen. Glenn Hegar Jr., R-Katy,
would put a halt to countless road construction
projects across the state by making the costs
Now some are questioning the motives of at least
one key legislator: bill author Rep. Beverly Woolley,
R-Houston, who could stand to personally benefit from
the Hegar amendment if the bill becomes law.
Woolley owns a business, Houston Armature Works
Inc. on Houston's Harrisburg Boulevard, where Houston
Metro is planning to construct a four-mile rapid
transit extension. It's "a huge project" expected to
take three years to complete, said agency spokeswoman
This is such fun to watch. Republicans used to
just want to screw the average taxpayer out of money -
but now they're going after each other.
June 14 - They
say that what goes around, comes around. Texas'
greatest poet, Willie Nelson, even wrote a song about it
- "A Little Old Fashioned Justice Comin' 'Round."
When our State Representative Charlie Howard first ran
for the State Lege, he made much ado about his opponent
being named to the Texas Monthly's Ten Worse Legislators
Straight from Austin, I have just heard that Charlie
got named to the list - again. Worse. Now,
in this session, that took some kind of doin'.
Details to come as soon as Texas Monthly goes on the
By the way, Zerwas and Olivo didn't make any of the
June 14 -
they let me go to his house and whack him upside the
They contain innocent-sounding subject lines such
as "His baby pics," or "Hey." But when opened, they
advertise things like male sexual-enhancement pills.
The e-mails arrive by the thousands, and they seem
to come from nowhere.
But the state attorney general's office says many
have come from a 20-year-old man who lives in a small
home on Gardenia Drive in Allen.
Okay, so they found this guy. So, what did they do
Attorney General Greg Abbott's office reached a
settlement with Mr. Villanueva this week in federal
district court in Austin. The judgment prohibits Mr.
Villanueva from using or leasing zombies. It also
prohibits him from sending misleading commercial
e-mails and requires him to pay $5,000 in attorneys'
who is this guy? The Paris Hilton of breaking and
No, no nonononono..... I have a better idea. We
use his house for a garbage dump for about a year.
Damn, I should run for attorney general.
June 13 -
entering hurricane season around here and I ain’t at all
happy about it. I hate hurricanes. And, apparently,
the feeling is mutual because in the last one I got
caught in traffic for 6 hours to go 11 miles and then
gave up and came back home to fight that sucker
So, adding to the bad news
MIAMI -- An aging weather satellite crucial to
accurate predictions on the intensity and path of
hurricanes could fail at any moment and plans to
launch a replacement have been pushed back seven years
In a letter obtained by The Associated Press, the
National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's
chief said the failure of the QuikScat satellite could
bring more uncertainty to forecasts and widen the
areas that are placed under hurricane watches and
Oh well, that’s what Republican government gets you. I
guess Halliburton doesn’t build satellites. Good Lord,
this is Michael Brown on nuclear energy and caffeine
maintenance. Once more, this is incompetence that no
one has to answer for.
So does anyone recall that 1,800 people died in
I hate hurricane season almost as much as I hate
those damn short-sited Republicans.
Hi Susan, I guess
this broke weather satellite situation will clear
the way for that 40 story garbage dump out your way
that was going to block the tv station signal to
said satellite! Now that is proof there is method to
their madness. Thanks for the Dist 22-Tom Delay post
that was an lol moment for me!
June 13 -
the eternally smug around here who feel that DeLay’s
Congressional seat is federally mandated by law to be
held by some rightwing kook who foams at the mouth at
the mention of anything not fully sanctioned by the
Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club and Our Lady of
Perpetual Virginity Junior College, there’s some bad
You may not get the seat back. Mainly because no one
in their right mind wants to have a slapping match with
the aforementioned groups in order win the GOP primary.
So you’re left with Bob Talton, who is just flat
nuts, being considered a viable candidate.
Talton touted his right-leaning credentials, calling
himself "as conservative, if not more" than DeLay. He
represents parts of Harris County in the state
If you’re to the right of Tom DeLay, you’re off the
face of the earth. No, I’m serious. There’s nothing on
the known political spectrum to the right of Tom DeLay.
Where Tom DeLay ends, mental health problems begin.
You know how you know the local GOP is in trouble?
When even Sugar Land Mayor and rightwing specialist
David Wallace admits ….
Wallace, who just dropped out of the race, said he's
not enamored with any of the prospective candidates.
have yet to see anybody I would be proud to support,"
he said. "I don't feel they'd offer adequate
representation for Texas 22."
Wallace’s ego aside, which I admit is like trying to
look around the Grand Canyon, never was a truer
June 13 -
Bush get his watch stolen
I’m shocked, shocked I tell you. Bush can tell
June 12 - A
friend of mine, who claims he was actually working when
he found this, sent me
another big blue
(Momma, don't go look because it's just gonna upset you
and I ain't got no free lecture listening time today.)
I just gotta get me one of them tee-shirts. I'd
wear it every time I go to lunch with Murdeen because
she'd be mortified. Mortifying my friends is a
little hobby of mine.
Anyway, I promised the friend who send me the site that
I'd keep his name out of it, because he still has a
somewhat proper reputation and being associated with me
would kill that faster than a bullet with legs.
June 12- Oh
lookie, they named a creek after me.
San Antonio and Houston. After years of passing
by, I finally got out and took a picture.
I am surprised some repellican has not sent you a
photo of the sign on "Crazy Woman Creek" in
Wyoming. Got an old 35mm slide of it around here
somewhere. If I find it, I will scan and send it
In Central Texas
(well, in some parts of it) Woman Hollering is a
legendary creek. Here are two takes on it, one
literary. If you have not read Sandra Cisneros,
you may remember the big stir some years back
when she painted her house, in San Antonio's
King William neighborhood, a very definite shade
of purple. Imagine how your neighbors would
June 11 -
Hal at Half Empty is on to something.
Hal says that Texas Secretary of State Roger Williams
sudden retirement and coy behavior may be bad news for
Did I say "coy?" Yes, I did. Even
uses the word ...
He (Williams) remains coy
about his future plans, limits statement to say he
plans to "pursue other opportunities."
just maybe, Ole Roger knows something we don't.
Let's play Republican Goofball!
If Alberto Gonzales retires to spend more time with his
family - hey, it could happen - then we'd need a new
Let's think for a minute, who's dumber than Alberto
Gonzales, has equally great hair, has always been
faithful to Bush, and is in political trouble in 2008?
Texas Senator John Cornyn would head-up the short list,
Honey. They don't call him a box turtle for nothin'.
So, Cornyn becomes United States Attorney General
(shiver, shiver) and Roger Williams becomes the new
Senator from Texas.
I've got a dollar riding on it at Hal's.
If you thought Alberto was dumb, you're in for a treat.
Cornyn is dumber than bean dip.
June 11 -
can dress him up, but
you can’t take him anywhere.
his way to see the 80-year-old pontiff, the US leader
apparently recognised someone he knew, and could be
heard greeting the person with a casual "How ya doin'?"
The pool reporters also noted Bush's relaxed posture,
crossing his legs "Texan style" while facing the pope
across his desk in the private study of the apostolic
How do you cross your legs “Texas-style”? I dunno.
I do know how to cross your legs like you were raised
in a barn, but I don’t think that’s an official
Texas-style state sanctioned thing. I mean, you don’t
hear people go around saying “he picked his nose
Oklahoma-style,” do you? Okay, so maybe that’s a bad
example. But, I can assure you that nobody has ever
said, “he spit North Dakota-style.”
I know those people at the Vatican can be all la-te-da
just because they’re God on earth and they’ve got some
nice paintings on their ceilings, but we wouldn’t like
it if the Pope came over here and dribbled spaghetti
sauce all over the White House carpet, would we?
I guess we can count it as a blessing that he
didn’t offer to take The Pope cow-tipping.
June 10 - A
big thanks to Rich in Kentucky for
this masterpiece in the Dallas Morning News
about how Republicans have given up on personal
this late winter of our discontent – bordering on,
let's be honest, black depression – conservatives'
minds turn to the ways the promise of a new era of
rightist government has turned to ashes by the
Republican Party's incompetence and corruption.
conservative used to mean that you stood for certain
political ideas, but it also meant that you stood for
certain virtues, especially personal responsibility
and old-fashioned honor. After these last six years,
it's hard to know what conservatives stand for, except
never having to say you're sorry.
Yep - they're like a badly written story. All
fiction and sentiment.
When the Dallas Morning News starts badmouthing
Republicans, you know all is not well in right
field, and the Apocalypse, or at least the Age of
Aquarius, is upon us. I now believe in the power of
George W. Bush, because no one else could have
I read your comment about the
article in the DMN about conservatives forgetting
that they believe in "person responsibility" and
Wasn't it the DMN and all the other right-wing
bozo's in Dallas that first foisted this
fool-of-a-president on us? I guess conservatives
want "personal responsibility" but not "corporate
June 10 - Let's hear a big round of applause for
Paso - they make the rest of Texas look downright
federal charges filed against former county chief of
staff John Travis Ketner implicate several elected
officials and describe how county officials allegedly
sought bribes from vendors, received secret campaign
donations, met in a bathroom and restaurants and broke
into a computer in an attempt to rig court cases.
The charges, included in a document called an
"information" and filed in U.S. District Court, accuse
County Judge Anthony Cobos and 16 other county
officials, individuals and companies of bribery and a
wide array of other illegal activities.
The four federal charges to which Ketner pleaded
guilty Friday describe how he and other uncharged
co-conspirators allegedly sought bribes and campaign
contributions from vendors trying to win or keep
county contracts worth millions of dollars.
contributions from vendors? Nooooo, not in county
government. I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.
Good Lord, that happens here every day. We just
hide ours in a drawer at the Elections Office.
Your clip about corruption in El Paso reminded
me of the many times I went home to visit the
folks and, every single time, the papers were
full of the latest troubles for the Sheriff.
Not kidding. I guess the folk running for that
job thought that corruption was just part of the
June 10 -
Several people have sent me
this NPR segment about cussin'. It's a great
I think they sent it because I rarely cuss on this
website unless it's damn or hell, and even then Momma
calls me and reminds me that I "wasn't raised that way."
That's one of the reasons I decided not to have a
"blog." Total strangers can come on your blog and
leave cuss words all over it. Well, that and this
I am afraid that the postings would become just another
slapping match between
Liz Mitton and disaffected -
two Republican women - like almost any story on Fort
Bend Now. It's become obvious that they
both are determined to bore the ever-living chicken-butt
out of everybody with a pair of eyes and a third grade
Republican women: the reason Republican men won't
give women any real power.
June 8 -Deb
reminds us that Republicans really need to do something
their need for unnecessary violence.
Session-long tensions in the
Alabama Senate boiled over Thursday as Republican
Sen. Charles Bishop of Jasper punched Democratic
Sen. Lowell Barron of Fyffe in the head before the
two were pulled apart.
tells us about
case of BESS that she caught. Ah-choo!
Somebody send her a box of new President, please.
June 8 - We get
emails with good ideas.
One of the more fascinating things about
the hatemongers of the Republican party
is their uncanny ability to come up with
names and terms that are loaded with a
message of fear and distrust.
cue from our right wing friends, I will
now refer to all right wing nuts,
especially those who promote more war
(Syria, Iran, et al) as "Americofascists",
which is only fair in light of their
invention of the term "Islamofascists".
Also, from this point on I will go
out of my way to refer to George W. Bush
and Richard Cheney as "Smirk & Snarl".
I herewith call for more
contributions to this (I hope)
developing lexicon of reaction to the
wackos' inventive terminology.
Dave The Claimsman
Note from Susan: I have
a theory. It's just a theory, not
a law. It goes like this....
The first person to use the term Islamofascist was
Dubya. I remember that because I
was watching the speech when he said it,
and I thought "what the fool tarnation
is that?" I mean, even Bubba
didn't know what that was and Bubba has
lotsa degrees in history.
I think he meant to say Islamic Extremists, but got his
tangue tunguled up and his brain floored
in neutral ,once again, and just made up
some damn nonsense term and then
everybody had to act like they knew what
it meant because - well, he's the
President even if it is by default.
So I have decided on a term for the Super DeLux Brand
Christians who want to torture and nuke
for Sweet Jesus: Baptioatheists.
suggest a word for those who maintain
that women aren't fit to preach or have
any authority within the church or any
of its offshoot institutions and should
keep silent and be subservient to men in
all things, to boot:
June 8 - Okay,
it's Friday. Here's some great entertainment from
Texas lawyer filing his own divorce. It's in
June 7 -
There's Democrats talking about running people against
other Democrats in the primary who aren't voting the
Hal explains who's being targeted (Craddick D's) and
if it's worth the effort. Hal's got numbers.
I like numbers. If ya like politics with a tad of
reality mixed in, read Hal.
On the other side,
reports that the Republicans are considering "punishing"
the Craddick R's (sounds like some more torture from the
Republican Party. Ho Boy, those folks love
The abortive Speaker coup d’etat was the
talk of the State Republican Executive
Committee in a meeting held over the
weekend. Two committee members told QR
today that the mood was hostile toward Republicans
involved in efforts to unseat Speaker Tom
"I can say there are a lot of people concerned
about this coalition between RINOs (Republicans
In Name Only) and Democrats," said Jane
Cansino, an SREC member from
"Yes, everybody was furious," said Oneta
Leutwyler, an SREC member from
Woodway. "The consensus was they did wrong and they
need to be reprimanded." Leutwyler added that she’d
be happy to unseat any incumbents that walked out of
the chamber with Democrats the night before
I'm targeting that worthless piece of cowdung, Dora
Olivo. It was bad enough when she voted against
stem cell research, but this session she authored the
bill to keep stem cell research out of Texas, which is
akin to noodlin' with George W. Bush on the issue.
June 7 -
Steve at White's Creek gives us the short version of
the Scooter Libby case and some information about Fred
Thompson and his little red truck that I didn't know.
June 7 -
here’s just more proof that our county commissioners
are dumber than bean dip.
They gave themselves a 17% pay raise while all
other county workers got a crummy 3% pay raise.
Well, even double digit IQ Rick Perry is seeing
that having greed as a campaign promise ain’t real
Gov. Rick Perry and Railroad Commissioners Elizabeth Ames
Jones and Michael Williams will decline increases
that could inflate their income by up to $45,000,
saying they either don't need the extra money or
just don't want it.
Reminds me of
when we were fixin to change from having four
County Road Districts, each controlled by a
Commissioner, to one County Road District with a
manager. During a forum on the issue one
speaker was reported in a local paper as calling
the Commissioners' Road Districts "private
thiefdoms." Well, the paper
had to correct this in the next issue, claiming
that the speaker had actually said "private
fiefdoms." But public response
to this blooper was just a tad cynical:
liberal media for you," some said. "Even when
they let the truth slip they try to take it back
June 7 - You
know, the more I learn about Tom DeLay, the more I'm
convinced that he's going to hell.
That son of a motherless goat
tried to oust an openly gay congressional staffer,
but did nothing to prevent Mark Foley from hitting on
underage male pages.
I don't know why I'm shocked; secret sin is Tom's
June 6 -
Look, everybody knows that Sheriff Milton Wright is
finagling with the inmate numbers so he can build a new
jail and get his name on it before he leaves office.
There's something about men needing to build themselves
a tombstone at taxpayers' expense before they die.
And now we discover what a
complete crock o' crap this whole thing is.
Changing the design of the new
Fort Bend County Jail tower by moving it to the east
of the existing tower, coupled with “unsuitable soil,”
other unforeseen conditions and requested additions
could add $4.5 million to the cost of the project,
Commissioners Court members learned Tuesday.
that doesn't even count the taxpayer
rip-off benefiting the District Court Judge
to rent a house to "oversee" the jail construction.
We should have seen this coming, dammit. A bunch
of Republican men and a bunch of money ain't a good
combination. They're gonna find a way to rob us
all and blame God.
June 6 - I get so
sick of reading the piddling games being played by the
board members of FBISD that I'm beginning to think
there are no good-guys in this fight. Best I can
figure, they'd rather rumble than work. Viewing
their positions as public service rather than power
gaining ended a couple of elections ago.
However, let us hope they haven't sunk to the level of
El Paso School Board.
A large El
Paso construction company and its agent played an
instrumental role in a bribery scheme in which
expensive trips, cash and gifts were lavished on
members of a South Texas school board in exchange for
preferential treatment on contracts, a federal
Three board members and the
superintendent of the Pharr-San Juan-Alamo Independent
School District were arrested Tuesday on federal
extortion conspiracy charges, federal officials said.
The indictment, obtained by the El Paso Times,
states that an El Paso-based company, which is not
named, in 2003 and 2004 provided tickets and hotel
rooms for San Antonio Spurs and Houston Astros games,
the Oscar de la Hoya vs. "Sugar" Shane Mosley fight at
the MGM Grand in Las Vegas and a NCAA basketball
"Final Four" tournament in San Antonio.
they will have the opportunity to write "I will not take
things that aren't mine" about 2 million and half times
on a cement wall.
June 6 - I
watched the GOPper debate last night. You know
that party is in trouble when the sanest man on the
stage is Ron Paul.
Am I the only one who ponders on this? In the
last debate, they all (except McCain) could hardly wait
to torture people, and in this debate they all wanted
the nuke button on their cell phones so it's real
convenient. Then, after the appropriate 20 minute
wait, they all said they supported "life" and loved
I dunno. That kind of stuff makes me shiver.
The debate was among a
bunch of crazies, and one more wants to join 'em
and heat up the frenzy. The only people crazier
are the ones voting for 'em.
June 5 -
Earl's getting uppity and demanding a salary.
Daily Kos has a photo of DeLay's book in a bookstore
under the "True Crime" section. Don't get you hopes
Kos says he did it himself:
Orcinus has an explanation as to why Ron Paul
CANNOT put "a decade of anti-black/anti-semitic/patriot
writings" in his newsletter and then decide that
he's not responsible for what went into his own dang
newsletter. Remember when he threw a hissy fit
during the vote count for the 1984 Republican Senate
Primary because one Houston TV station counted him
out reeeeeaaaaallllll early? (Thank you so much for
leaving us with Tom DeLay, Ron!) He refused to give
an interview to that station--except that didn't
make them wrong now, did it? Well, he's trying the
same thing again.
Oh, and Tom DeLay's "Grassroots Action and
Information Network" on his website is a hoot. I
clicked the application form and they want
everything but your shoe size. Get this, you need
two references on the application! "Please provide
us with two references who have worked with you in
either political campaigns or conservative
grassroots activist efforts." And they want
to bill you $52/year
for membership. Yeah, I'll bet the
stampede is brutal. They also want you to list
three important issues facing our country today.
I'd suggest, "Libruls, Damn Libruls, Goddamn
Libruls"--not necessarily in that order. Reminds me
of that joke about the Fort Bend County Ku Klux
Klan--since the county has gone so upscale they've
taken to wearing designer sheets and have an
unlisted phone number "to keep out the riff-raff."
Well, that's all you get for free--you want more,
get yourself a roll of quarters and start plunkin'.
Earl to lay down tracks in the direction of outta here,
but where else can I get a word like whackdoddle?
June 5 -
This is no different that what our county commissioners,
who control the county’s purse strings,
do when they want campaign contributions. And, face
it, county commissioners are just going to use the money
to party, too.
business with the county paid thousands of dollars for
a picnic for Harris County Toll Road Authority
employees last year and were about to be asked to do
so again, officials with the county and district
attorney's office said Monday.
plans to recognize vendors as gold- or platinum-level
donors based on how much money they contributed to
this year's picnic, were confirmed Monday in response
to questions about the abrupt retirement of Toll Road
Authority Executive Director Mike Strech last
You can see why county employees thought they could
join this kickback scheme – they learned it from their
bosses, the elected officials.
Commissioner Tom "Hula Skirt" Stavinoha is known in
some parts of this county as Ticket Man because he
hounds all the county vendors to give him free tickets
to the ballgame and rodeo. I mean, literally
hounds them. Good Lord, the man make a hundred
grand a year, but he expects kickbacks for baseball
June 5 -
Earl gives us a heads-up on why you should
stay away from border towns.
a separate development, a contributor to the Minutemen
is suing for the return of a $100,000 donation, after
their failure to build a promised Israeli-style
barrier on the Arizona-Mexico border.
WASHINGTON - The Minutemen, the anti-immigrant
vigilante force set up two years ago to patrol the
US-Mexican border, is in danger of imploding in a row
[Oh, there's more, of course]
Before the split, Mr Wright was deputy leader of the
biggest of the Minuteman groups, the Minuteman Civil
Defense Corps, which claims a membership of up to
8,000. The split came after he and other senior
members invited the leader, Chris Simcox, to a meeting
in Arizona to account for funds. Mr Simcox accused
them of arranging an unauthorized meeting and purged
Mr Wright and other senior leaders, and about a dozen
Mr Wright said:
“We asked for a meeting and this insanity is the
result of that … We were worried that the standard
operating practice was not being followed as
religiously as should have been.” Hundreds of members
were now leaving, he said.
Take a look at the picture. I swear to gosh that’s
Delmus and DeWayne down there on the border getting
drunk and spending all the money on jute boxes, ammo,
and Spiderman comic books, just like they were doing
before their Momma, Verdelia, kicked them out of the
As Earl says, Momma, don’t let your babies grow up
to be cowboys or they’re gonna get their picture on the
Internet machine looking like an idiot.
June 5 -
As some of you know, I have two friends from Texas who are
currently living in Vermont. They don‘t even know each
other, so the odds of that happening are about the same
as winning the Texas lottery on a Tuesday night.
Anyway, Carol and Al both send me care packages
with leftist tee-shirts and the occasional maple syrup.
I love both of them.
However, I think they’ve caused insurrection in
Here it is right here in the newspaper.
Records, the all-vinyl music store just down the
street from the state Capitol, the black "US Out of
Vt.!" T-shirts are among the hottest sellers.
But to some people
in Vermont, the idea is bigger than a $20 novelty.
They want Vermont to secede from the United States _
peacefully, of course.
what they call an empire about to fall, a small cadre
of writers and academics hopes to put the question
before citizens in March. Eventually, they want to
persuade state lawmakers to declare independence,
returning Vermont to the status it held from 1777 to
I’m just shocked, shocked I tell you. They have an
all-vinyl music store in Vermont? As we say in Texas,
“Dayum, I gotta git me one of them!”
The Vermonters in question are spouting-off about
what’s wrong with American. In fact, one Vermonter
said, “We have electoral fraud, rampant corporate corruption, a
culture of militarism and war,” like that’s a bad thing.
They want to secede from the Union, something Texas
has been threatening to do every time Oklahoma wins the
However, if Vermont secedes, they’ll take all their
maple syrup and Carol and Al with them, so put me in the
NO column. I’m kinda like this guy:
course, skeptics abound.
"It doesn't make economic sense, it doesn't make
political sense, it doesn't make historical sense.
Other than that, it's a good idea," said Paul Gillies,
a lawyer and Vermont historian.
Susan, I've heard of
these groups, but haven't paid that much attention
to them. There are all sorts of weird groups, one
in particular will squat on the village green and
beat tom-toms and chant anti nuclear slogans.
It's been going on for years, people always smile
and give them the thumbs up sign. Don't suppose
that it will ever succeed, but the Republic is
definitely in deep doo doo, and George and his
corporate buddies have done their part in moving
us in that direction. Oh the IRONY of a
Republican icon, Ike, warning us about the
"military industrial complex". We didn't heed the
words and are now paying the price.
June 4 - Okay, so maybe I’ll say cheese when he gives ME $5,000.
prices may be up, but there's something that's
apparently a little cheaper these days:
A photo with President Bush. Yesterday, Bush
headlined a fundraiser for the New Jersey state GOP,
where donors could pay $5,000 to pose for a photo with
the Commander in Chief. Expensive photo op, right?
Well, that's actually cheaper that what donors paid
just a year ago for a grip and grin with Bush. Last
summer, GOP officials around the country charged at
least $10,000 a pop for presidential photo op, a
bargain compared to the $25,000-a-flash Bush commanded
during some Republican National Committee fund-raisers
back in 2000 and 2004.
Maybe it’s inversely proportioned to the price of
gas. When gas hits $3.50 a gallon, Bush will have to
pay folks to be in the same room with him and not spit.
You know, I’d almost pay the $5,000 for the
opportunity to whisper at the President, “Hey, you know
all the stuff the people around you are telling you?
Bud, listen up, get new people.”
Wonder what this costs us in vendor campaign
June 4 -
Harvey Kronberg of
The Quorum Report gives us an out-of-the-mainstream
link today to a
columnist you need to read in Cleburne, Texas, a
small town up the road near Dallas. It the best
summation of the last Lege session I’ve read so far, and
Texas, we have wisely chosen to force the criminals to
gather in Austin every two years so we can keep an eye
on them. So what did the average Texan get out of this
biannual running of the fools? Not much.
June 3 -
Sometimes, somewhere, someone sets a new standard in
Behold the glory!
Dr. Doyle for making us all feel superior.
June 2 -
If you’ve been paying attention to the news lately, you’ve
heard that Tom DeLay got all up in Newt Gingrich’s face,
accusing him of adultery. Someone, probably Tom’s wife,
reminded Tom that he, too, admits to adultery.
But, Tom DeLay is nobody’s fool. Uh huh. No,
sireeee. Tom said that his adultery was different than
difference between his own adultery and Gingrich's, he
said, "is that I was no longer committing adultery by
that time, the impeachment trial. There's a big
difference." He added, "Also, I had returned to Christ
and repented my sins by that time."
Well, that sounded pretty lame to me, so I proudly
Top Ten Reasons Why
Tom DeLay’s Adultery Was Different Than Newt Gingrich’s
10. Newt put the adult in adultery, Tom put the dul in.
9. Realistic Jimmy Swaggart imitation gave Tom an unfair
advantage in the babe magnet department.
8. Newt never adulterated in a hot tub because he’d bobble
like a cork.
7. Educated women vs. big haired waitresses: BIG
6. Newt never once put “under God” in his come-ons.
5. HOOKERPAC, Tom of course.
4. Who’s your whip, baby?
3. K Street Walkers far more fun than … well, just about
2. Anticipation of “conjugal visits” only adds to the
1. Hey, they don’t call him The Hammer only for his
political skills, if ya know what I mean.
June 1 -
We get email from
Texas rejoice! We have finally been given a raise
that the elected ones in Austin feel that we
deserve. Halleluiah! Halleluiah! All of my
problems are now solved. I am so giddy; I simply
don’t know what to do with this unexpected
windfall. I feel like someone who has just won
the lottery, and I am just sitting here thinking,
“What can I do with this $8.50 per week
(approximately after taxes)?”
maybe I’ll take in a movie. By myself. I’ve been
wanting to see Pirates/Spider Man /Shrek 3. Ohh,
and I’ll have a dollar left over after getting in,
perhaps I will get me a small Coke. Not enough
for popcorn though, but that’s ok, it’s really bad
for me anyway. I could take my wife out to eat at
Chilis. This should just about cover an appetizer
that we can split. Better just have water
though. I hope the waitress/waiter doesn’t get
mad that we don’t leave a tip. We won’t be there
long anyway. We could go bowling, but with each of
us playing one game we won’t be able to rent
shoes. Oh well, she doesn’t like bowling much
anyway. Hmm, I could head over the Best Buy and
get a CD. Wait, no can’t do that, they cost more
than that there. I could go to iTunes and
download eight songs. Not a full album, but hey,
who listens to all the songs on an album anyway?
Boy, this is
tough. I am going to have to put some more thought
into this. Well for this week I think I will just
put the money in my gas tank. That will get me
almost three gallons, which if I don’t go anywhere
else, will get me back and forth to work for a
week. I am so glad I live close to my job! Thank
you, oh Thank you, great State of Texas, for
bestowing this wonderful raise on me. I am truly
preceding bit of sarcasm was brought to you by
James Herrod, Physics and Astronomy teacher at
Red Oak High School. Serving the Youth Of
America for nineteen years, and counting.
June 1 -
found another one.
Several mothers who have lost children at war in
Iraq took part in a new talk show today on National
One of them, Elaine Johnson, recounted a meeting
that she had with President Bush in which he gave her
a presidential coin and told her and five other
families: "Don’t go sell it on eBay.”
if you sell your brain on Ebay, don't do it by the
Nuts. Completely nuts.
June 1 -
Thanks to Earl for the
heads-up on this one about George Bush's behavior.
Friends of his from Texas were shocked recently to
find him nearly wild-eyed, thumping himself on the
chest three times while he repeated "I am the
Hey, that's not unusual behavior. I've been drunk
enough to have to look at my driver's license to
remember my name. I'm sure Bush is just having the
Thelma says Bush does that because he still can't
believe he's actually the President. Hey, same
deal here - I can't believe it either.
He also made it clear he
was setting Iraq up so his successor could not get out
of "our country's destiny."
Okay, he's nuts.
June 1 - I
don't mean to beat a dead horse, but he's still flopping
around in self-importance.
Please go look at
DeLay's schedule. So if ya got some yardwork,
goat herding, or need to extort anyone, Tom seems to
have some available time.
By the way, the FEC has approved the termination of the
Tom DeLay Congressional Committee.
Interestingly, the FEC HASN'T approved the termination
of ARMPAC - and ARMPAC asked to be terminated before the
Hmmmmm . . .
looked at Tom's schedule and there were no entries
since March. I felt so sorry for him I invited him
to speak at the BBQ at your house on July 4th..hope
that's ok. Y'all will have fun, really.
When Tom DeLay speaks at your
Independence Day BBQ make sure you get him to bill
you by the minute, not by the lie--trust me, it'll
be cheaper. And make him wear a meter like the cab
drivers have. Only Tom DeLay can find a way to
short you on a dinky 5-minute speech. Here's an
idea that the pros use to keep the cost down, deduct
$5 from his "honorarium" every time he says
"Democrat Party." Heck, if he gets excited enough
he'll go deficit and the whole BBQ will be on him.
Anyway, you're real lucky to get him now, because
I've heard he's fixin to go to Clown College--and
you know how much they charge.
June 1 - Well, lookie here. I wonder if
our County Commissioners have asked for a refund?
PBS&J, that Florida company who made a habit of
ripping-off taxpayers when they did government jobs,
owes some money to the taxpayers.
PBS & J has said the three employees who
orchestrated the embezzlement hid the scheme by
overbilling government clients. Its investigators
later discovered that the firm was overcharging
government clients on its own.
PBS & J estimated it will have to refund $42
million to government clients.
think we'll get a penny of that? Yeah, when cows
Okay, now remember back:
our county commissioners took campaign contributions
from PBS&J and our County Judge, Bob Hebert, took
$2,500 from them in the last reporting period.
Check for yourself.
(PDF file will open)
Do you think Hebert wants to investigate his cash cow
to see if they overcharged us?
June 1 - This was 1954, the last time I was in a
good mood. No, seriously.
We were going through a box of old pictures last week
and this one was discovered. A family member, who
shall remain nameless, commented, "Oh, Susan, you look
so sweet. That must have been before they taught
the word 'politician.'"
Yeah. In 1956 I started poking the kid next to me
and because he had Congressional aspirations.
FAIR WARNING: I'm going to be in a particularly
cranky mood this month. You have been warned.
The "Housman Elem" label on your photo led me
to Google Housman Elementary. I'm tellin' you
that if I had gone to a school where there were
people who looked like this, I would be mighty
cranky for more than a month.
Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most
Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is
Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom
DeLay's old district. It's crazy here.
No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.
I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when
I got to know a few local Republicans. They are meaner
than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a
decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.
A lot of
what I post here has to do with local politics, but you
probably have the same folks in your local government.
a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. I've
been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you
and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.