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June 29 - Why you should watch The Daily Show instead of Fox News.
     Fox makes you stoopid.
     We prove, once again, that reality has a strong liberal bias.

June 29 - There is only one thing better than politics, and that's baseball.  And, there's only a handful of things better than last night.
     A good man did a great thing.  Craig Biggio, who has been a rare gift to the city of Houston, reached the 3,000 hits mark last night.  Even making #3,000, he pumps it and speeds for a double.  Good all over him!
     You can share in the pure, unadulterated, roll in the mud and sing off key at the top of your lungs joy right here.




June 28 - Damn, I flat out love Texas.
     As you've been hearing, we're trying to move Noah's record here in Texas.  We have 4 seasons here: hurricane, drought, flood, and hotter than a two dollar pistol.
     We've learned to make the best of things.

     This gives a whole new meaning to roadkill. 
     This is Highway 56 in Valley Mills, Texas.  And that's Bubba, Joe Bob, Joe Bob Junior, and Dewayne. 


My friend Donna says the boys are camped out on the highway right in front of her mother's house.


June 28 - We get email from Earl.

Is this guy dumb enough to be our next President or should we hold out for someone dumber? I think the dog had the right idea where ole Mitt is concerned.


June 28 - Poor Shelley Sekula-Gibbs.  No, seriously, you gotta feel a little bit sorry for the gal.  She has to have the worst sense of timing known to mankind.
     Shelley announced yesterday that she’s officially a candidate for CD 22.  Yep, the same day Tom DeLay took center stage with glorifying statements about how everyone wanted him to lead this country, but we’ve had to settle for less.   Damn, girl.  Not smart.
     This is the same gal (okay, so I cannot bring myself to call her a woman) who sent out a mass email saying that Nick Lampson “is acting like a liberal again” while Nick Lampson was in intensive care recovering from heart surgery.
     And it’s the same gal who told reporters that she was going to solve the world’s problems while Congress was in recess. 
     Oh well, on the upside, she had the hyphen legally removed from her name.   I bet that was painful!  To be honest, she should have had the large empty hole removed from her brain instead. 

June 27 - BREAKING AGAIN: The fat lady isn't even clearing her throat.
Calling it a "tortured decision," Travis County District Attorney Ronnie Earle will seek a rehearing on the DeLay decision.

Because of the important policy considerations involved in protecting the public from felony criminal conspiracies of all kinds, we will seek a rehearing of this matter before the Court.

     According to the Quorum Report, (subscription only) Earle likens the decision to making it legal to "agree to conceal and destroy bank records because that felony crime is in the Finance Code," among other examples.


To hear Tom DeLay tell it, this picayune ruling is a Get Out of Jail Free Card--and the South won the Civil War because "we made the Yankees take us back."




June 27 - BREAKING.  The Austin American Statesman reports that by a 5-4 decision, the Texas Supremes have upheld Judge Pat Priest's decision on the dismissal of one of the felony charges against Tom DeLay.

In the 5-4 decision, the court affirmed Judge Pat Priest’s decision to throw out an indictment accusing DeLay and his associates, Jim Ellis and John Colyandro, of conspiring to violate state election laws. The Sugar Land Republican, who retired from Congress in 2006 because of the indictments arising from the 2002 elections, still faces a charge of conspiring to launder corporate money into campaign donations.

     The fat lady ain't singing yet.

     Okay, so now I have a few minutes to post something about this. 
     Although you'd never know it to hear DeLay go stark raving freekin' wacko about it, this was not the substantive charge.  The big charges still stand.
     Additionally, he was not "cleared" in any manner whatsoever.  This is simply five Republican judges out of nine said that what DeLay did was not a conspiracy.  What's shocking about this is that four Republican judges actually ruled against him.
     By the way, if I hear DeLay whine about his legal fees one more time, I'm gonna start billing his legal team for earplugs.  DeLay sure didn't worry about all the money he was costing the taxpayers when he was on those fancy pants golf vacations, now did he?

June 27 - Okay, so here’s the deal.  A construction company sent their writ twit to commissioner’s court yesterday to let the public know that the low bidder did not get the contract on the new jail

Attorney Greg Travis told court members on Tuesday that his client, Cornerstone Detention Products Inc. of Tanner, Ala., submitted a low bid of $6.63 million to construct the jail cells. However, he said he has been informed that San Antonio Contractor CCC Group, which submitted the high bid of $6.98 million for the work, is being awarded the contract.

     Oh, shock and awe!  You mean commissioners played favorites with vendors to the county?  Well, I’ll be a toad frog on a pool table.  That’s just shocking, shocking I tell you.
     Mr. Travis, perhaps your client was a tad cheapo with the kickbacks, oops, I meant to say campaign contributions.  This stuff happens all the time. 
     Here’s how it works:  County Judge Bob Hebert likes money - $5,000 per campaign reporting period is about enough to cause him to like you.  Commissioner Andy Meyers generally gets a $2,500 cut, errr… donation.  Tom Stavinoha gets about a grand, but you have to take him tickets to the ballgame and you’ll get the bill for his livestock purchases at the county fair so your “contribution” doesn’t show up on his campaign report.  James Patterson wants about a grand and you have to show up to donate to his favorite charity when he’s the auctioneer. 
     I know that sounds like a lot of money, but you can just add it in to your overall costs and pass it along to the taxpayers.  That way, nobody gets hurt.  Well, you know, except the taxpayers and they’re in the dark because county commissioners hide their campaign finance reports.
     I’ve got 15 years of records to that show how this game is played.  Building a big project like the jail requires enough kickbacks …. rats, I meant to say campaign contributions …. to give our county commissioners blue butt.  But, sadly, not the good kind of blue butt.
     Good on Mr. Travis’ clients for having the guts to stand up and say something.  I like those guys.

     On a similar note, Alfredo sent us a story about Florida politicians who know how to stay bought!

June 27 - I have a question.
     I thought conservatives were all about family values and giving parents control of their children.  At least that’s what they say.
     Okay, so the conservative Supremes rule that a school principal can discipline a child for doing something perfectly legal off school grounds and not at a school function.  That means that if your child does something legal in your backyard with your full permission, even with you standing beside him or her, the high school principal can up and decide willy-nilly that he/she is offended and suspend your child from school. 
     Yo, conservatives!  Listen up.  You people scare me. 

June 27 - Shame on Chris Matthews (links to YouTube) for exploiting a woman with obvious mental health problems yesterday. 
     Watching poor Ann Coulter, who wears a cocktail dress everywhere she goes, flip her hair and smirk at an accomplished woman, was painful.  
     It’s obvious that Ann Coulter is a woman who has never loved or been loved. 

 Bless Anne's heart! 

It's just not fair that all the poor woman has to wear is that leather cocktail dress...summer, winter, night or day.  Between the dress, the God talk, and that cunning little crucifix on her necklace, Anne so reminds me of a cross between Betty Page and Mother Theresa.

When you act like you've been raised by fire ants, I guess the fashion sense and the common sense are both absent. 

Waxahachie, Texas

June 26 - I’m not saying that it’s a Good-Ole-Boy Return of the Son of Lollapalooza or anything, but … well, wait, that’s exactly what I’m saying.
     In a move just like giving enormous pay raises to their friends, while hiding it behind modest pay raises for law enforcement, I just scanned this out of yesterday’s Herald Whatever.


     Read the first paragraph.  Why does the county need to rent the entire first floor of a medical building?  And even if they need more space, which they do not, why would they pick a building where there is never any place to park?  I quit going to a doctor in that building simply because I could never find a parking place. 
     There is a large strip center down the road for rent double dirty cheap if they truly do need space.  And there’s plenty of parking there.
     Why this building?  Come on, people, think

Hi Susan:

The county rents a house from Vacek for $4000 per month for one or two people so why not a whole floor of a building with no parking for who knows how much $$$$ for a few folks .... it's just $$$$$$


June 26 - Sally Quinn makes a case that Darth Cheney (see below why I can't call him Dick anymore) should resign this summer when he's scheduled to have the battery changed in his pacemaker. 

The big question right now among Republicans is how to remove Vice President Cheney from office. Even before this week's blockbuster series in The Post, discontent in Republican ranks was rising.

As the reputed architect of the war in Iraq, Cheney is viewed as toxic, and as the administration's leading proponent of an attack on Iran, he is seen as dangerous. As long as he remains vice president, according to this thinking, he has the potential to drag down every member of the party -- including the presidential nominee -- in next year's elections.

     Miss Sally, who are you gonna get to go tell him that he has to resign?  He ain't gonna go willingly.  Look, we've seen what the man can do with a shotgun.  It's going to take somebody on a suicide mission to tell him to pack his bags.
     Hummm ... now that I think about it, I do have a few messenger suggestions.

Hi Susan,
I think Ms. Quinn might be the harbinger of a 'plot' to have Darth resign, spend more time with his new grandchild, and have someone electable step in.  It's so very cunning.  I believe that dreadful Fred Thompson is being touted, but I'm sure you're way up on that already!!!!
Sybil in NM

June 25 - If county commissioners are unwilling to disclose what pay raises they are considering for county employees, then you can bet your Roy Rogers lunchbox that some commissioner’s  good-ole-boy is getting an undeserved pay raise. 
     These guys keep right on amazing me with their arrogance of Republicanism attitude ...

J.C. Whitten, acting county human resources director, said the item under consideration involves an “interim adjustment” in pay, involving seven pay periods covering the remainder of the current fiscal year. [and then….]

Beyond that, Whitten declined to provide specific details of what compensation changes are to be contemplated, saying, “I’d rather not go into that until it’s approved.”

     No, no, no, no, no.  This is still a democracy, even though you can’t tell it by watching the fluffy white boys scratch each other’s backs in secret.  If you’re going to pass something at a meeting, you have to let the public know what you’re voting on in advance so they can call you on the phone and holler, “Are you freekin’ nuts or are you drunk again?” 
     Not that it will do any good.    I once had Commissioner Tom Stavinoha’s solemn promise not to vote on something until the people had more input.  His solemn on this grandmother’s grave promise.  Then he went to the meeting and Judge Bob Hebert intimidated him by using three syllable words and old Tom folded like a cheap suitcase at the train station. 
     But, the public has a constitutional right to know what’s fixing to happen so they can least be lied to all properly. 
     I knew somebody was getting a raise they didn't deserves and, sure 'nuff, it looks like some folks in JC Whitten's Human Resources department are getting the biggest raises.  I'll bet you two to one that they're ladies.  Like I've said before, getting dates for JC has cost this county more than any damn bridge to nowhere. 
     It's a common trick.  Give law enforcement a little bitty raise than sneak in enormous raises for a few of your friends. I've plowed this field before. 
     Plus, I'm real nervous about JC Whitten still being the acting Human Resources director.  I know how JC acts.  This is a lawsuit just waiting to happen. 

June 24 - We get some educational email from Patrick.


This will give you your blog rating for your site.  You check out some of your favorites as well.

I don't think you should tell your mom about this, but I think you'll be very surprised at your rating.


Dear Patrick -

Well, damn, The Big Ass Fan Company and Vice President Dick Cheney got me an R rating.


Dick Cheney.  Dick Cheney.  Dick Cheney.  Dick Cheney.  Dick Cheney tortures people with his Big Ass Fan. 

     Well, that should do it.

June 24 - Okay, would somebody please explain to me why I'm reading about this in the Los Angles Times instead of the Houston Chronicle or Galveston Daily News. 

GALVESTON, TEXAS — Leaders of this fast-eroding barrier island — the scene of the deadliest hurricane in American history — are about to approve nearly 4,000 new homes and two midrise hotels despite geologists' warnings that the massive development would sever a ridge that serves as the island's natural storm shield.

     My parents used to have waterfront property near Baycliff on Second Street.  Think about it. 
     Anyone who spent 7 hours to go 16 miles during the last hurricane evacuation, as I did, knows that putting more people in Galveston may not the be brightest idea. 
     However, in gross and disgusting contrast to not hearing about that story around here, the Houston Chronicle's front page today headlined this story:

Shortly after Hurricane Rita sent 3.6 million Texans rushing to the state's highways, Gov. Rick Perry called a task force together to find better ways to handle a mandatory evacuation and avoid the chaotic traffic jams that became the storm's hallmark.

While public sessions were held so Texans could vent frustrations about gridlock and fuel-less gas stations, another meeting behind closed doors took place between state disaster officials and executives of some of the biggest names in the industry: Shell, Citgo, Chevron, Valero, ConocoPhillips, Exxon Mobil and Marathon.

     Oh yeah, I really trust those behind closed doors meetings with state officials and oil companies.  Good Lord, there ought to be laws of physics involved for even letting those two groups to meet anywhere.  I'll bet my best pair of pink boots that they sent us a bill for the damn doors, somebody got a kickback and somebody else got free season passes to the Dallas Cowboy home games. 
     I lived through Carla, Honey.  And I know this county's levee system is far too low.  Hurricane comes - me go. 

It was in the Houston Chronicle. Just buried somewhere, I don't remember. I can read and do. That's why I am so dangerous. I am also an old surfer(waves) and am very familiar with that part of Galveston.

Along with the danger to the west end. Offats Bayou, That stretch of water along 61st street is also a danger zone. The Island could be cut there by  Cat3 storm. But why worry, Developers are allowed to build houses where just as much water as the Gulf of Mexico flows, when it rains. Big Business is more important than logic, reason and responsibility. Isn't it Amazing that that those stupid old Greeks actually taught Logic in their schools.


June 23 - OH WOW!  The Big Ass Fan Tee-Shirt contest is over and Scott is the winner.  In more ways than one.
     After Scott bid $100, he emailed me saying that he was going out of town and he'd put a $100 check to the USO in the mail to me before he left.  He said that even if he lost, to go ahead and send the $100 check to the USO because "they can use the money."  Heckuva guy, huh?
     Oh, it gets better.
     Lo and behold, this morning, I get this letter in the mail from Scott.  You know the drill - click on the little one to get the big one.

     Enclosed was a personal check made out to the USO for $500.  Five hundred dollars!  Yes!
     Ya know, some days it's worth getting out of bed to blog.  Democrats are the best folks in the world and I want to thank Scott for helping me prove it.  Scott lives in Bellingham, Washington, but I ain't giving you his last name because I don't want you bothering him. 
     A hug to the good folks at the Big Ass Fan Company for the shirts, and to Scott for helping to make the life a soldier a little easier.   
     And by the way, even Momma says that you can say the A word if it raises $500 for the USO. 

June 22 - Oh please, Sweet Jesus, don't let him touch anything.

     Bush at the nuclear power station in Alaska.  Dude, I wouldn't even let him lean back in that chair.    

     From Dave ---

June 22 - Our friend David sent us some pictures that are worth a thousand words.  They speak of the condition of the Republican Party ---


     Yes, those are Shelley Sekula Gibbs signs after a tractor mower ran them over in the right of way.

June 22 - Okay, this doesn't have anything to do with politics, but it does have something to do with philosophy and the nature of things.
     So I know a lot of weird stuff happens in Texas, but this could only happen in Aladamnbama.  There is no love like that of a man and his pickup truck.

A Huntsville man found a trip to the gas pump to be more than just painful to his wallet Wednesday afternoon.

Dwight Clark was in the parking lot of Medical Arts Pharmacy apparently trying to clear some gunk from around the opening to his gas tank with his finger when it became stuck, said Huntsville Fire & Rescue Capt. Nolen Locke.

After folks at the pharmacy on Whitesburg Drive couldn't help with his dilemma, Huntsville Fire & Rescue, the Madison County Rescue Squad and HEMSI were called.

"His finger went in past the knuckle and was stuck," Locke said. "People had sprayed WD40 all over, but that didn't work."

Without cutting the metal, Locke said they tried several ways to free Clark because he didn't want them damage this truck.

     Okay, first of all, I am not even going to comment on why Bubbas all over the South just gotta stick their fingers in things.  Testosterone forbids he should get a stick or something. 
     I will, however, ask why men spray WD40 on everything.  Dewayne over at Gripey Ralph's Transmission Repair Company once sprayed WD40 on a stuck zipper.  Tragically, he did not remove his pants first and did not notice that Ralph's blow torch was a tad too close by .... the rest, as they say, can be read in the divorce papers because Debi Sue decided that maybe Dewayne wasn't such a good breeder after all.
     Okay, so here's this guy standing around with his finger stuck in the gas tank of his pick up which has to be at least mildly embarrassing.  He has had to call out every emergency vehicle in town.  He has been sprayed with various chemicals, and you know it's gotta be hot enough to fry a steak on his bald spot, but noooo..... don't damage his pickup.  Cut off his arm first, dammit.      
     Lordy, Lordy, I love Bubbas.

June 22 - Talk about arrogance in a box with a bow on top!  Vice President Dick Cheney has proven himself not to be a big fan of democracy.

 For four years, Vice President Dick Cheney has resisted routine oversight of his office’s handling of classified information, and when the National Archives unit that monitors classification in the executive branch objected, the vice president’s office suggested abolishing the oversight unit, according to documents released yesterday by a Democratic congressman.

     Personally, I think the only reason that Bush hasn’t been impeached is Cheney.  I think he did that whole shoot-your-friend-in-the-face deal just to make us even more scared of him.

June 21 - We get email from Earl and from Elaine ---

Hi Susan,

Here's a report on commercial Rightspeak (Reichspeak?) Radio nationally.  Look at the Houston graph, then pop your eyes back into their sockets.  Dan Patrick's KSEV has been carrying promos about how the other FOUR Houston Rightspeak stations are firing their local hosts and replacing them with cheaper syndicated programming.  Isn't loyalty wonderful?

I hear you had trouble finding the filler plug for the kerosene on your new computer.


Dear Earl,

Now you know why I got myself an electric satellite radio, a shortwave radio, and a scanner - I will do anything to avoid rightwing radio. 

I'll have you know that I parted with some major bucks for this fancy-pants new computer.  Poo on kerosene, my friend, this sucker is diesel powered!



Saw this and thought I'd share it with you since you have so much experience with retired exterminators. What the heck is it with these guys? Maybe they were using the special Tom Delay Bug Killer and Anti-Government Mix. Here - take a lookie:

Story Highlights ---

1.  Convicted tax evaders Ed and Elaine Brown are barricaded in their compound

2.  The couple taunts police with references to 1992 Ruby Ridge shootout

3.  Tense neighbors in New Hampshire fear the standoff could end violently

The Browns' home on an isolated dirt roads includes a turret that offers a 360-degree view of the property and a driveway that is sometimes barricaded with SUVs.

Ed Brown, a retired exterminator, and his wife, a dentist, have bragged that the compound is self-sufficient and capable of running entirely on solar, wind and geothermal energies.

Susan, I say we ban exterminators. Hasn't Tom already proven they are a danger to our environment?

Your Dam Yankee Friend in Spring,


Dear Lorriane,

Yep - that's the DeLay mix all right.  Have they robbed a bank yet or installed a hot tub?


June 21 - The good folks over at South Texas Chisme (and, no, I ain't gonna translate that for you fools in Oak Point, Texas) are asking how mean is Governor Rick Perry?

An 84 year old Texas House cook was forced to retire. Even though she worked for the state more than 30 years, Texas retirement rules counted less than 15. Grateful legislators changed that rule for her, Perry vetoed it. How bloody mean is that!

     Chisme explain that Perry was playing cowboy with members of the Lege and the 84 year old woman was an innocent bystander in a pistol whipping contest.
     I will you this - Rick Perry is meaner than ten acres of snakes and so lowdown that you couldn't put a rug under him.
    He's also a little sissy boy who has retired honest women do his fighting for him.

June 21 - Just for fun, my friend Ann sent a great website to buy stuff for your weird friends.  You can make political or philosophical statements with swag from this joint.
     Personally, I love the Dick Cheney notecards, the Shakespearean insult mug, and anything Calvin and Hobbes.  You'll have fun looking around.

June 20 - Okay, I think we're kinda online.  I'm still having trouble sending email but we can get that fixed in the morning.  I imagine I'll be a little shaky for a few days what with having to learn new stuff.  So, if I don't answer your emails right away, it ain't because I don't like you.  At least not totally.
     And, just to make for a perfect storm, I broke the power cord on my laptop tonight.
     A big giant thanks to Dave for putting up with my pacing all afternoon and evening.

June 20 - I’m gonna be honest with ya.  My ‘puter machine is so old that we had to carbon date it to figure out what was the first operating system on it.
     We think it was Windows 95.  Seriously.  A nerd who used to live in my house says we could take it on the Antique Road Show and have someone comment on how nice it looks considering its age. 
     Over the years, I have added memory, another hard drive, updated the operating system at least three times, maybe four.  This sucker is being held together with duck tape and a prayer, and we’re edging close to laying on of hands to keep it running. 
     I have a birthday this weekend and no, I do not want to talk about it, except that I’m getting a brand spankin’ new computer for my birthday. 
     We’ll probably start trying to install it tomorrow.  So, if I miss posting for a couple of days because I’m trying to find all the drivers for all the junk I have hooked up to this sucker and I’m busy cussing and hollering because you can’t buy Frontpage anymore and I love Frontpage and I’m too damn old to learn another web program because when I learned to do website construction, you had to do it in code and there’s not room for new stuff in my head with all outdated stuff filling it up and, yes, I’m a little anxious about all this.
     My techie says everything will go smoothly but I don’t trust him because nothing ever goes smoothly with me and electronics.  Coke machines still steal my money.
     I have a laptop to use if everything crashes.  However, I'm from Texas so my BIG ole desktop is my favorite.
     If you don't hear from me for a week, notify the proper authorities.  I don't know who'd that be, but you can figure it out or something.

June 20 - Okay, it has fallen on me to explain things to people from foreign states. 
     Our Governor, Rick Perry, is missing a cog in his thinker assembly.  He's not in the full upright and locked position, if you know what I mean.  But, don't make fun of us, because the last Governor we had like that ended up in the White House.  We're real good at crazzzy in Texas.
     The latest is that our Governor vetoed a bill that nobody objected to - except for one anonymous phone caller, that would save money and improve health.

Gov. Rick Perry's veto of a ban on diesel-fueled school buses idling unnecessarily stunned its sponsors, partly because the change had widespread support from school groups and hadn't previously drawn an objection from Perry's office.

The veto, among 55 made public late last week, also appears contradictory to a pitch by the Bush administration to curb bus emissions exposing children to fine particles that can trigger asthma attacks.

     Hey, there's a vacuum of leadership in the pro-asthma attack caucus, and Rick Perry stepped up to fill that need, my friends.  You think it's easy being pro-asthma and in favor of fuel wastes during these times?  No, it is not.  But, Rick Perry doesn't just fall into line like a .... well, a sane person. 
     The truth is that instead of saying, "Gee, I dunno, I was in a veto signing mood that day," or "I used the eenie, meenie, miney, mo method of veto determination," or "Oops, read the word idle, thought they were talking about me and ....", our Governor is trying to explain why he did this nutty thing using words like these....

In his veto message, the Republican governor states that schools should focus on core functions, including classroom instruction and extracurricular activities.

"If schools believe they should also regulate and enforce school bus idling policies, I think they should do so, not because it is mandated by the state, but because they have chosen to do so as a matter of policy decided on the local level," Perry states.

     Good Lord, the State mandates everything else in the schools.  Rick didn't think it should be up to local districts whether or not kids could pray at school. 
     The spokes are missing from his wheel.  That's why he vetoed it.  Just say it.  For Pete Sake, everyone knows he's nuts.

June 19 - Well, the Vatican has issued the Ten Commandments for driving cars. 
     No, seriously.      

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Thou shall not drive under the influence of alcohol. Thou shall respect speed limits. Thou shall not consider a car an object of personal glorification or use it as a place of sin.

The Vatican took a break from strictly theological matters Tuesday to issue its own rules of the road, a compendium of do's and don'ts on the moral aspects of driving and motoring.

A 36-page document called "Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road" contains 10 Commandments covering everything from road rage, respecting pedestrians, keeping a car in good shape and avoiding rude gestures while behind the wheel.

     We can sum it up a little better in Texas, “Drive Friendly, and no hanky panky in the backseat.”


You know there used to be so many Czech immigrants in Texas that it was called "the third language of Texas" at one time.  They asked an old timer whether it wasn't difficult coming to a new country where you didn't know the language, and he replied: "Oh no!  Most of us already spoke enough German to get by."  See, the Czechs tended to settle near the Germans.

There's a story that a Czech from the Old Country was visiting Texas in the late 1800s and he was surprised to hear two boys speaking Czech while he was riding a train.  Well, he looks around and sees two young BLACK boys sitting in a corner chattering away in Czech.  O.K., now I gotta 'splain a coupla things to make the joke work.  See, on the frontier there weren't any orphanages, so orphans tended to get adopted by whichever family was handiest and willing.  And there are two types of Czechs, Bohemians and Moravians, with the Moravians always complaining about being given the bum's rush by the Bohemians.  Now back to the story . . .

So our visitor walks up to the two Black boys and says in wonderment in Czech, "Are you boys Bohemians?"  And they reply proudly, "NO!  We're MORAVIANS!"  



One thing that is being missed in this story, is that if you have ever been in Italy and tried to cross the street, and had a near miss by a car full of nuns you would understand why he would put this directive out.

Boston drivers are unpredictable, New Yorkers are aggressive, Texas drivers – well more than one little old blue hair has kept me from making an exit off the interstate, then slowed down, not to mention the “Pink Lights” at intersections, Quebec drivers are also aggressive, but all pale in comparison to the Italian Driver.  In Italy Anarchy rules the roads, you don’t even feel safe on the sidewalks in Rome.  If you think the old west was wild you haven’t been near the streets in Italy.

  Here in Vermont drivers will routinely stop to let someone cross the road,  they wave their hand across and say, “go on, go on”   and if we get 3 cars at a stopsign we consider it a traffic jam.


PS. Hope things are drying out down there.

June 19 - Just out of the clear blue, just like that!, the good folks at the Big Ass Fan Company  sent me some of their tee-shirts to auction off for charity around here. 
     They sell their swag to benefit two charities: disabled vets and a home for wayward donkeys, which, of course, is where I plan to retire. 
     Last week, I made a comment on this site that I wanted one of their tee-shirts, and they sent me a box of those suckers.
They said I could use them for any charity I want to. 
     Tell ya what I'm gonna do.  The guy who told me about the Big Ass Fan Company gets a tee-shirt for his favorite charity auction.  Murdeen already gave me a check made out to the American Cancer Society for her shirt, which she says she's gonna wear if I wear mine because mortification is an emotion to be shared.
     But here's where you come in.  I've got these shirts in black and white, size large and extra-large, and I'm gonna auction one off right here and now.
     Here's the rules, because you gotta have rules.
     You email me and tell me how much you're willing to pay for this super cool tee-shirt. 
     You make the check out to the USO, because that's my next favorite charity, but you'll send the check to me, and I will forward it to the USO so I know it got there. I don't trust nobody. I have been disappointed by too many politicians to trust anybody.  Ain't that a shame? 
     Or, you can donate online and send me a copy of the email receipt.  I'll mail you the shirt at my expense. 
     The bidding starts at $15.  I'll end this sucker on Friday night. 
     You get a shirt and a tax write-off.  You cannot pass that up!  Plus, think of how you could embarrass your kids by wearing this shirt.  That alone is worth the cost.
     I'll keep score right here----

The bid for the Big Ass Fan tee-shirt is currently at $100.

I have a hundred dollar check that says I really need this t-shirt.  My neighbors in Bellingham, Wa will just not believe what a Texas transplant will wear in public.


June 19 - Okay, so there's 2,200 people in Oak Point, Texas, who can't hardly even speak proper English, but are of a mind to pester everybody else about their language ....

A divided City Council has passed a resolution making English the official language of this North Texas town.

The resolution prohibits the council from passing policies or ordinances limiting the role of English as a common language in the city, which has about 2,200 people and is located 30 miles northwest of Dallas.

     But that ain't all.  No, sireee.  There's a reason they did this thing.

"I've heard from quite a few neighbors from the positive side," council member Mark Rakestraw said. "They don't want another dime of their tax money spent on" translating government documents into Spanish, he said.

     Well, I tell you what, Mr. Rakestraw, when all the Mexican, Cajun, Czech, and Vietnamese restaurants in town quit translating their menus, your butt is going to starve to death.  Two can play this game.
     The good news is that "the measure was opposed by most of the people who turned out at Monday's council meeting," and anybody with a good sense of humor will start checking Mr. Rakestraw for proper English grammar.

June 18 - Ya think the boy needs to see an addiction specialist? 

White House officials made extensive use of their RNC e-mail accounts. The RNC has preserved 140,216 e-mails sent or received by Karl Rove. Over half of these e-mails (75,374) were sent to or received from individuals using official “.gov” e-mail accounts. Other heavy users of RNC e-mail accounts include former White House Director of Political Affairs Sara Taylor (66,018 e-mails) and Deputy Director of Political Affairs Scott Jennings (35,198 e-mails). These e-mail accounts were used by White House officials for official purposes, such as communicating with federal agencies about federal appointments and policies. 

There has been extensive destruction of the e-mails of White House officials by the RNC. Of the 88 White House officials who received RNC e-mail accounts, the RNC has preserved no e-mails for 51 officials. In a deposition, Susan Ralston, Mr. Rove’s former executive assistant, testified that many of the White House officials for whom the RNC has no e-mail records were regular users of their RNC e-mail accounts.

     One hundred and forty thousand emails on just one account for Karl Rove?  Ho boy, add that to the ten thousand he sent to the ladies on the account and you’re looking at a man with a problem.  Okay, so I just made up that hotboy email account, but you know he has one like that.  He's just gotta.
     People have often pondered on why Nixon didn’t destroy the tapes.  The answer is: mainly because it’s illegal.  Illegal doesn’t bother these guys.  
     Them and illegal?  Practically eating out of the same feedbag.

June 18 - Our county judge, Bob Hebert, ought to run for Congress.  He's already got one part down well - paying family members from your campaign funds.

Today, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) released its first-ever analysis of the misuse of power by the chairmen and ranking members of all House of Representative committees and subcommittees, as well as top leadership positions, to financially benefit their family members. The new report, Family Affair, names 96 members from 33 states: 44 Democrats and 53 Republicans.

To view the report, please visit the Family Affair website page.

     Members of Congress are having a ball enriching their family members. 
     Go take a look for yourself - there's quite a few Texans on the list.  While you're there, download the whole report and read it.  It's astounding. 
     In Texas, it's illegal to pay either a spouse or a dependent child from your campaign account.  However, it's perfectly legal to pay an adult child all you want, just ask Tom DeLay and Andy Meyers.  I guess it's Meyers that bothers me the most because at least DeLay's daughter votes.  Meyer's son doesn't even bother to vote in general elections. 

June 18 - Our friend David sent me this really, really cool graphic showing Purple America from 1960 forward and the changing voting patterns. 
     It's just another fun political nerd tool for you to play with.

June 18 - I see that some of the Texas Progressive Alliance bloggers (they won't let me join) have started a Draft Movement for my favorite candidate for United States Senate from Texas, Rick Noriega. 
     Good on 'um.
     Now, I don't know this for a fact, but I've heard from people who know about these kinds of things that the characters of Matt Santos and his wife on The West Wing were based on Rick and Melissa Noriega.  Everybody out there who knows Rick and Melissa is now shaking their heads up and down.

June 17 - Tom DeLay gave Houston a new city councilwoman who's a Democrat.  Ain't that grand!
     Melissa Noreiga won the seat that was formerly .... well, I hate to say "occupied" because it was hard to say she was there, even when she was there ... Shelley Sekula Gibbs. 
     When Gibbs ran in the special election to hold DeLay's congressional office for a month, she had to retire from city council.  She won because Democrats wisely chose not to run a candidate in that special election.  Shelley served for a whole month, while Congress was on Christmas vacation.  Dumb.  Dog dump dumb.
     Democrats won the full term congressional seat in November.  And last night, Democrats won Shelley's city council seat making it a DeLay Double Down.  Thank you for retreating and surrendering, Tom!
     Hal has pictures of the fat lady singing.  What Hal doesn't tell you is that he was pretty much in charge of the part of Houston that's in Fort Bend County for Melissa.  He delivered her 79% of the vote.  Yep, he ought to be half-full today.
     Okay, let's see what we can do to get Rick Noriega elected to the Senate.

June 15 - Have I told you lately that John Kelso cracks me up?  He's now got an idea to put the Bush Presidential library in Albania, and if that doesn't work .....

The other idea I had was to put the George W. Bush Presidential Library in a bookmobile and drive it around Texas. That way, it could be out of everybody's town by sundown.

     But, John, who's going to pay the toll road fees for the bookmobile?  That could run into thousands of dollars before it even cleared the Panhandle.

Super idea.  I'll volunteer to drive the bookmobile!


June 15 - Just in time for your weekend entertainment.  MB sent us this really cool opportunity to Play Texas Lege! 
     It's called the Redistricting Game and shows how you can insure victories for your political party for a full decade if you can elect a majority to the State Lege just one time. 
     It's like pretending to Tom DeLay without the hot tub or the fancy vacations with Jack Abramoff.  Have fun!

June 15 - Brahahaha.  It's fun to watch Republicans become their own worst enemy with fighting greed factors.
     Our own State Senator Glenn Hegar is to blame for killing a charming Republican bill to screw landowners out of their property to build toll roads all over the damn state.
     But, Hegar didn't do this to help Texas landowners, of course.  He did it to help a fellow Republican politician, Beverly Woolley.

For most of the session, the bill enjoyed the full support of Perry and other top leaders. But critics say the amendment by Sen. Glenn Hegar Jr., R-Katy, would put a halt to countless road construction projects across the state by making the costs prohibitive.

Now some are questioning the motives of at least one key legislator: bill author Rep. Beverly Woolley, R-Houston, who could stand to personally benefit from the Hegar amendment if the bill becomes law.

Woolley owns a business, Houston Armature Works Inc. on Houston's Harrisburg Boulevard, where Houston Metro is planning to construct a four-mile rapid transit extension. It's "a huge project" expected to take three years to complete, said agency spokeswoman Sandra Salazar.

     This is such fun to watch.  Republicans used to just want to screw the average taxpayer out of money - but now they're going after each other.      

June 14 - They say that what goes around, comes around.  Texas' greatest poet, Willie Nelson, even wrote a song about it - "A Little Old Fashioned Justice Comin' 'Round."
     When our State Representative Charlie Howard first ran for the State Lege, he made much ado about his opponent being named to the Texas Monthly's Ten Worse Legislators List.
     Straight from Austin, I have just heard that Charlie got named to the list - again.  Worse.  Now, in this session, that took some kind of doin'.
     Details to come as soon as Texas Monthly goes on the market.
     By the way, Zerwas and Olivo didn't make any of the lists.

June 14 - Yeah, but will they let me go to his house and whack him upside the head?

They contain innocent-sounding subject lines such as "His baby pics," or "Hey." But when opened, they advertise things like male sexual-enhancement pills.

The e-mails arrive by the thousands, and they seem to come from nowhere.

But the state attorney general's office says many have come from a 20-year-old man who lives in a small home on Gardenia Drive in Allen.

      Okay, so they found this guy.  So, what did they do with him?

Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott's office reached a settlement with Mr. Villanueva this week in federal district court in Austin. The judgment prohibits Mr. Villanueva from using or leasing zombies. It also prohibits him from sending misleading commercial e-mails and requires him to pay $5,000 in attorneys' fees.

     Oh wow, who is this guy?  The Paris Hilton of breaking and entering? 
     No, no nonononono..... I have a better idea.  We use his house for a garbage dump for about a year.  Damn, I should run for attorney general.

June 13 - We’re entering hurricane season around here and I ain’t at all happy about it.  I hate hurricanes.  And, apparently, the feeling is mutual because in the last one I got caught in traffic for 6 hours to go 11 miles and then gave up and came back home to fight that sucker head-on. 
     So, adding to the bad news is this.

MIAMI -- An aging weather satellite crucial to accurate predictions on the intensity and path of hurricanes could fail at any moment and plans to launch a replacement have been pushed back seven years to 2016.

In a letter obtained by The Associated Press, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's chief said the failure of the QuikScat satellite could bring more uncertainty to forecasts and widen the areas that are placed under hurricane watches and warnings.

     Oh well, that’s what Republican government gets you.  I guess Halliburton doesn’t build satellites.  Good Lord, this is Michael Brown on nuclear energy and caffeine maintenance.  Once more, this is incompetence that no one has to answer for. 
     So does anyone recall that 1,800 people died in Katrina? 
     I hate hurricane season almost as much as I hate those damn short-sited Republicans. 

Hi Susan, I guess this broke weather satellite situation will clear the way for that 40 story garbage dump out your way that was going to block the tv station signal to said satellite! Now that is proof there is method to their madness. Thanks for the Dist 22-Tom Delay post that was an lol moment for me!  


June 13 - For the eternally smug around here who feel that DeLay’s Congressional seat is federally mandated by law to be held by some rightwing kook who foams at the mouth at the mention of anything not fully sanctioned by the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club and Our Lady of Perpetual Virginity Junior College, there’s some bad news.
     You may not get the seat back. Mainly because no one in their right mind wants to have a slapping match with the aforementioned groups in order win the GOP primary. 
     So you’re left with Bob Talton, who is just flat nuts, being considered a viable candidate.   

Talton touted his right-leaning credentials, calling himself "as conservative, if not more" than DeLay. He represents parts of Harris County in the state legislature.

     If you’re to the right of Tom DeLay, you’re off the face of the earth.  No, I’m serious.  There’s nothing on the known political spectrum to the right of Tom DeLay.  Where Tom DeLay ends, mental health problems begin. 
     You know how you know the local GOP is in trouble?  When even Sugar Land Mayor and rightwing specialist David Wallace admits …. 

Wallace, who just dropped out of the race, said he's not enamored with any of the prospective candidates.

"I have yet to see anybody I would be proud to support," he said. "I don't feel they'd offer adequate representation for Texas 22."

     Wallace’s ego aside, which I admit is like trying to look around the Grand Canyon, never was a truer statement made.   

June 13 - Did Bush get his watch stolen in Albania? 
     I’m shocked, shocked I tell you.  Bush can tell time?

June 12 - A friend of mine, who claims he was actually working when he found this, sent me another big blue banner
     (Momma, don't go look because it's just gonna upset you and I ain't got no free lecture listening time today.)
     I just gotta get me one of them tee-shirts.  I'd wear it every time I go to lunch with Murdeen because she'd be mortified.  Mortifying my friends is a little hobby of mine.
     Anyway, I promised the friend who send me the site that I'd keep his name out of it, because he still has a somewhat proper reputation and being associated with me would kill that faster than a bullet with legs. 

June 12- Oh lookie, they named a creek after me.

     Between San Antonio and Houston.  After years of passing by, I finally got out and took a picture. 

I am surprised some repellican has not sent you a photo of the sign on "Crazy Woman Creek" in Wyoming. Got an old 35mm slide of it around here somewhere. If I find it, I will scan and send it to you.

In Central Texas (well, in some parts of it) Woman Hollering is a legendary creek.  Here are two takes on it, one literary.  If you have not read Sandra Cisneros, you may remember the big stir some years back when she painted her house, in San Antonio's King William neighborhood, a very definite shade of purple.  Imagine how your neighbors would react.

Click here and here.


June 11 - I think Hal at Half Empty is on to something.
     Hal says that Texas Secretary of State Roger Williams sudden retirement and coy behavior may be bad news for America.
     Did I say "coy?"  Yes, I did.  Even Harvey Kronberg uses the word ...

He (Williams) remains coy about his future plans, limits statement to say he plans to "pursue other opportunities."

     Maybe, just maybe, Ole Roger knows something we don't. 
     Let's play Republican Goofball!
     If Alberto Gonzales retires to spend more time with his family - hey, it could happen - then we'd need a new Attorney General. 
     Let's think for a minute, who's dumber than Alberto Gonzales, has equally great hair, has always been faithful to Bush, and is in political trouble in 2008?  Hummm ....
     Texas Senator John Cornyn would head-up the short list, Honey.  They don't call him a box turtle for nothin'. 
     So, Cornyn becomes United States Attorney General (shiver, shiver) and Roger Williams becomes the new Senator from Texas.
     I've got a dollar riding on it at Hal's.
     If you thought Alberto was dumb, you're in for a treat.  Cornyn is dumber than bean dip.

June 11 - You can dress him up, but you can’t take him anywhere

On his way to see the 80-year-old pontiff, the US leader apparently recognised someone he knew, and could be heard greeting the person with a casual "How ya doin'?"

The pool reporters also noted Bush's relaxed posture, crossing his legs "Texan style" while facing the pope across his desk in the private study of the apostolic palace.

     How do you cross your legs “Texas-style”?  I dunno. 
     I do know how to cross your legs like you were raised in a barn, but I don’t think that’s an official Texas-style state sanctioned thing.  I mean, you don’t hear people go around saying “he picked his nose Oklahoma-style,” do you?  Okay, so maybe that’s a bad example.  But, I can assure you that nobody has ever said, “he spit North Dakota-style.”
     I know those people at the Vatican can be all la-te-da just because they’re God on earth and they’ve got some nice paintings on their ceilings, but we wouldn’t like it if the Pope came over here and dribbled spaghetti sauce all over the White House carpet, would we?
     I guess we can count it as a blessing that he didn’t offer to take The Pope cow-tipping.

June 10 - A big thanks to Rich in Kentucky for this masterpiece in the Dallas Morning News about how Republicans have given up on personal responsibility. 

In this late winter of our discontent – bordering on, let's be honest, black depression – conservatives' minds turn to the ways the promise of a new era of rightist government has turned to ashes by the Republican Party's incompetence and corruption.

There's more ....

Being conservative used to mean that you stood for certain political ideas, but it also meant that you stood for certain virtues, especially personal responsibility and old-fashioned honor. After these last six years, it's hard to know what conservatives stand for, except never having to say you're sorry.

     Yep - they're like a badly written story.  All fiction and sentiment. 

When the Dallas Morning News starts badmouthing Republicans, you know all is not well in right field, and the Apocalypse, or at least the Age of Aquarius, is upon us.  I now believe in the power of George W. Bush, because no one else could have achieved this.


I read your comment about the article in the DMN about conservatives forgetting that they believe in "person responsibility" and such.

Wasn't it the DMN and all the other right-wing bozo's in Dallas that first  foisted this fool-of-a-president on us? I guess conservatives want "personal responsibility" but not "corporate responsibility".


June 10 - Let's hear a big round of applause for El Paso - they make the rest of Texas look downright honest!

The federal charges filed against former county chief of staff John Travis Ketner implicate several elected officials and describe how county officials allegedly sought bribes from vendors, received secret campaign donations, met in a bathroom and restaurants and broke into a computer in an attempt to rig court cases.

The charges, included in a document called an "information" and filed in U.S. District Court, accuse County Judge Anthony Cobos and 16 other county officials, individuals and companies of bribery and a wide array of other illegal activities.

The four federal charges to which Ketner pleaded guilty Friday describe how he and other uncharged co-conspirators allegedly sought bribes and campaign contributions from vendors trying to win or keep county contracts worth millions of dollars.

     Bribes?  Campaign contributions from vendors?  Nooooo, not in county government. I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.
     Good Lord, that happens here every day.  We just hide ours in a drawer at the Elections Office. 


Your clip about corruption in El Paso reminded me of the many times I went home to visit the folks and, every single time, the papers were full of the latest troubles for the Sheriff.  Not kidding.  I guess the folk running for that job thought that corruption was just part of the job.


June 10 - Several people have sent me this NPR segment about cussin'.  It's a great story. 
     I think they sent it because I rarely cuss on this website unless it's damn or hell, and even then Momma calls me and reminds me that I "wasn't raised that way."
     That's one of the reasons I decided not to have a "blog."  Total strangers can come on your blog and leave cuss words all over it.  Well, that and this other problem. 
     I am afraid that the postings would become just another slapping match between Liz Mitton and disaffected - two Republican women - like almost any story on Fort Bend Now.  It's become obvious that they both are determined to bore the ever-living chicken-butt out of everybody with a pair of eyes and a third grade reading level. 
     Republican women:  the reason Republican men won't give women any real power.

June 8 -Deb reminds us that Republicans really need to do something about their need for unnecessary violence

Session-long tensions in the Alabama Senate boiled over Thursday as Republican Sen. Charles Bishop of Jasper punched Democratic Sen. Lowell Barron of Fyffe in the head before the two were pulled apart.     

     And Ellen tells us about a bad case of BESS that she caught.  Ah-choo!  Somebody send her a box of new President, please.

June 8 - We get emails with good ideas.

One of the more fascinating things about the hatemongers of the Republican party is their uncanny ability to come up with names and terms that are loaded with a message of fear and distrust.

Taking a cue from our right wing friends, I will now refer to all right wing nuts, especially those who promote more war (Syria, Iran, et al) as "Americofascists", which is only fair in light of their invention of the term "Islamofascists".

Also, from this point on I will go out of my way to refer to George W. Bush and Richard Cheney as "Smirk & Snarl". 

I herewith call for more contributions to this (I hope) developing lexicon of reaction to the wackos' inventive terminology.

Dave The Claimsman

Note from Susan:  I have a theory.  It's just a theory, not a law.  It goes like this....
     The first person to use the term Islamofascist was Dubya.  I remember that because I was watching the speech when he said it, and I thought "what the fool tarnation is that?"  I mean, even Bubba didn't know what that was and Bubba has lotsa degrees in history.
     I think he meant to say Islamic Extremists, but got his tangue tunguled up and his brain floored in neutral ,once again, and just made up some damn nonsense term and then everybody had to act like they knew what it meant because - well, he's the President even if it is by default.
     So I have decided on a term for the Super DeLux Brand Christians who want to torture and nuke for Sweet Jesus: Baptioatheists.

May I suggest a word for those who maintain that women aren't fit to preach or have any authority within the church or any of its offshoot institutions and should keep silent and be subservient to men in all things, to boot: Talibaptists.


June 8 - Okay, it's Friday.  Here's some great entertainment from a Texas lawyer filing his own divorce.  It's in PDF format.

June 7 - There's Democrats talking about running people against other Democrats in the primary who aren't voting the party line.
     Hal explains who's being targeted (Craddick D's) and if it's worth the effort.  Hal's got numbers.  I like numbers.  If ya like politics with a tad of reality mixed in, read Hal.
     On the other side, Harvey Kronberg reports that the Republicans are considering "punishing" the Craddick R's (sounds like some more torture from the Republican Party.  Ho Boy, those folks love torture.)

The abortive Speaker coup d’etat was the talk of the State Republican Executive Committee in a meeting held over the weekend. Two committee members told QR today that the mood was hostile toward Republicans involved in efforts to unseat Speaker Tom Craddick.

"I can say there are a lot of people concerned about this coalition between RINOs (Republicans In Name Only) and Democrats," said Jane Cansino, an SREC member from Lubbock.

"Yes, everybody was furious," said Oneta Leutwyler, an SREC member from Woodway. "The consensus was they did wrong and they need to be reprimanded." Leutwyler added that she’d be happy to unseat any incumbents that walked out of the chamber with Democrats the night before session’s end.

     Me?  I'm targeting that worthless piece of cowdung, Dora Olivo.  It was bad enough when she voted against stem cell research, but this session she authored the bill to keep stem cell research out of Texas, which is akin to  noodlin' with George W. Bush on the issue.

June 7 - Steve at White's Creek gives us the short version of the Scooter Libby case and some information about Fred Thompson and his little red truck that I didn't know.
     Go read.

June 7 - Now see, here’s just more proof that our county commissioners are dumber than bean dip.
     They gave themselves a 17% pay raise while all other county workers got a crummy 3% pay raise.
     Well, even double digit IQ Rick Perry is seeing that having greed as a campaign promise ain’t real smart.

Gov. Rick Perry and Railroad Commissioners Elizabeth Ames Jones and Michael Williams will decline increases that could inflate their income by up to $45,000, saying they either don't need the extra money or just don't want it.


Reminds me of when we were fixin to change from having four County Road Districts, each controlled by a Commissioner, to one County Road District with a manager.  During a forum on the issue one speaker was reported in a local paper as calling the Commissioners' Road Districts "private thiefdoms."  Well, the paper had to correct this in the next issue, claiming that the speaker had actually said "private fiefdoms."  But public response to this blooper was just a tad cynical:

"There's your liberal media for you," some said.  "Even when they let the truth slip they try to take it back again."



June 7 - You know, the more I learn about Tom DeLay, the more I'm convinced that he's going to hell.
     That son of a motherless goat tried to oust an openly gay congressional staffer, but did nothing to prevent Mark Foley from hitting on underage male pages.
     I don't know why I'm shocked; secret sin is Tom's hobby.

June 6 - Look, everybody knows that Sheriff Milton Wright is finagling with the inmate numbers so he can build a new jail and get his name on it before he leaves office.  There's something about men needing to build themselves a tombstone at taxpayers' expense before they die.
     And now we discover what a complete crock o' crap this whole thing is. 

Changing the design of the new Fort Bend County Jail tower by moving it to the east of the existing tower, coupled with “unsuitable soil,” other unforeseen conditions and requested additions could add $4.5 million to the cost of the project, Commissioners Court members learned Tuesday.

     And that doesn't even count the taxpayer rip-off benefiting the District Court Judge to rent a house to "oversee" the jail construction.
     We should have seen this coming, dammit.  A bunch of Republican men and a bunch of money ain't a good combination.  They're gonna find a way to rob us all and blame God.

June 6 - I get so sick of reading the piddling games being played by the board members of FBISD that I'm beginning to think there are no good-guys in this fight.  Best I can figure, they'd rather rumble than work.  Viewing their positions as public service rather than power gaining ended a couple of elections ago. 
     However, let us hope they haven't sunk to the level of the El Paso School Board.

A large El Paso construction company and its agent played an instrumental role in a bribery scheme in which expensive trips, cash and gifts were lavished on members of a South Texas school board in exchange for preferential treatment on contracts, a federal indictment stated.

Three board members and the superintendent of the Pharr-San Juan-Alamo Independent School District were arrested Tuesday on federal extortion conspiracy charges, federal officials said.

The indictment, obtained by the El Paso Times, states that an El Paso-based company, which is not named, in 2003 and 2004 provided tickets and hotel rooms for San Antonio Spurs and Houston Astros games, the Oscar de la Hoya vs. "Sugar" Shane Mosley fight at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas and a NCAA basketball "Final Four" tournament in San Antonio.

     It appears they will have the opportunity to write "I will not take things that aren't mine" about 2 million and half times on a cement wall.

June 6 - I watched the GOPper debate last night.  You know that party is in trouble when the sanest man on the stage is Ron Paul. 
     Am I the only one who ponders on this?  In the last debate, they all (except McCain) could hardly wait to torture people, and in this debate they all wanted the nuke button on their cell phones so it's real convenient.  Then, after the appropriate 20 minute wait, they all said they supported "life" and loved Sweet Jesus.
     I dunno.  That kind of stuff makes me shiver.

The debate was among a bunch of crazies, and one more wants to join 'em and heat up the frenzy.  The only people crazier are the ones voting for 'em.


June 5 - Earl's getting uppity and demanding a salary. 


Daily Kos has a photo of DeLay's book in a bookstore under the "True Crime" section.  Don't get you hopes up, Kos says he did it himself:

Orcinus has an explanation as to why Ron Paul CANNOT put "a decade of anti-black/anti-semitic/patriot whackdoodle writings" in his newsletter and then decide that he's not responsible for what went into his own dang newsletter.  Remember when he threw a hissy fit during the vote count for the 1984 Republican Senate Primary because one Houston TV station counted him out reeeeeaaaaallllll early?  (Thank you so much for leaving us with Tom DeLay, Ron!)  He refused to give an interview to that station--except that didn't make them wrong now, did it?  Well, he's trying the same thing again. 

Oh, and Tom DeLay's "Grassroots Action and Information Network" on his website is a hoot.  I clicked the application form and they want everything but your shoe size.  Get this, you need two references on the application!  "Please provide us with two references who have worked with you in either political campaigns or conservative grassroots activist efforts."  And they want to bill you $52/year for membership.  Yeah, I'll bet the stampede is brutal.  They also want you to list three important issues facing our country today.  I'd suggest, "Libruls, Damn Libruls,  Goddamn Libruls"--not necessarily in that order.  Reminds me of that joke about the Fort Bend County Ku Klux Klan--since the county has gone so upscale they've taken to wearing designer sheets and have an unlisted phone number "to keep out the riff-raff."

Well, that's all you get for free--you want more, get yourself a roll of quarters and start plunkin'.


     I'd tell Earl to lay down tracks in the direction of outta here, but where else can I get a word like whackdoddle?


June 5 - This is no different that what our county commissioners, who control the county’s purse strings, do when they want campaign contributions.  And, face it, county commissioners are just going to use the money to party, too. 

Contractors doing business with the county paid thousands of dollars for a picnic for Harris County Toll Road Authority employees last year and were about to be asked to do so again, officials with the county and district attorney's office said Monday.

Details, including plans to recognize vendors as gold- or platinum-level donors based on how much money they contributed to this year's picnic, were confirmed Monday in response to questions about the abrupt retirement of Toll Road Authority Executive Director Mike Strech last Thursday.

     You can see why county employees thought they could join this kickback scheme – they learned it from their bosses, the elected officials. 
     Commissioner Tom "Hula Skirt" Stavinoha is known in some parts of this county as Ticket Man because he hounds all the county vendors to give him free tickets to the ballgame and rodeo.  I mean, literally hounds them.  Good Lord, the man make a hundred grand a year, but he expects kickbacks for baseball tickets. 

June 5 - Earl gives us a heads-up on why you should stay away from border towns

WASHINGTON - The Minutemen, the anti-immigrant vigilante force set up two years ago to patrol the US-Mexican border, is in danger of imploding in a row over finances.

     [Oh, there's more, of course]

Before the split, Mr Wright was deputy leader of the biggest of the Minuteman groups, the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps, which claims a membership of up to 8,000. The split came after he and other senior members invited the leader, Chris Simcox, to a meeting in Arizona to account for funds. Mr Simcox accused them of arranging an unauthorized meeting and purged Mr Wright and other senior leaders, and about a dozen state organizers.

Mr Wright said: “We asked for a meeting and this insanity is the result of that … We were worried that the standard operating practice was not being followed as religiously as should have been.” Hundreds of members were now leaving, he said.

In a separate development, a contributor to the Minutemen is suing for the return of a $100,000 donation, after their failure to build a promised Israeli-style barrier on the Arizona-Mexico border.

     Take a look at the picture.  I swear to gosh that’s Delmus and DeWayne down there on the border getting drunk and spending all the money on jute boxes, ammo, and Spiderman comic books, just like they were doing before their Momma, Verdelia, kicked them out of the doublewide.
     As Earl says, Momma, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys or they’re gonna get their picture on the Internet machine looking like an idiot.

June 5 - As some of you know, I have two friends from Texas who are currently living in Vermont.  They don‘t even know each other, so the odds of that happening are about the same as winning the Texas lottery on a Tuesday night.
     Anyway, Carol and Al both send me care packages with leftist tee-shirts and the occasional maple syrup.  I love both of them.
     However, I think they’ve caused insurrection in Vermont.
     Here it is right here in the newspaper. 

At Riverwalk Records, the all-vinyl music store just down the street from the state Capitol, the black "US Out of Vt.!" T-shirts are among the hottest sellers.

But to some people in Vermont, the idea is bigger than a $20 novelty. They want Vermont to secede from the United States _ peacefully, of course.

Disillusioned by what they call an empire about to fall, a small cadre of writers and academics hopes to put the question before citizens in March. Eventually, they want to persuade state lawmakers to declare independence, returning Vermont to the status it held from 1777 to 1791.

     I’m just shocked, shocked I tell you.  They have an all-vinyl music store in Vermont?  As we say in Texas, “Dayum, I gotta git me one of them!”
     The Vermonters in question are spouting-off about what’s wrong with American.  In fact, one Vermonter said, “
We have electoral fraud, rampant corporate corruption, a culture of militarism and war,” like that’s a bad thing.
     They want to secede from the Union, something Texas has been threatening to do every time Oklahoma wins the Cotton Bowl.
     However, if Vermont secedes, they’ll take all their maple syrup and Carol and Al with them, so put me in the NO column.  I’m kinda like this guy:

Of course, skeptics abound.

"It doesn't make economic sense, it doesn't make political sense, it doesn't make historical sense. Other than that, it's a good idea," said Paul Gillies, a lawyer and Vermont historian.

Susan,  I've heard of these groups, but haven't paid that much attention to them.  There are all sorts of weird groups, one in particular will squat on the village green and beat tom-toms and chant anti nuclear slogans.  It's been going on for years, people always smile and give them the thumbs up sign.  Don't suppose that it will ever succeed, but the Republic is definitely in deep doo doo, and George and his corporate buddies have done their part in moving us in that direction.  Oh the IRONY of a Republican icon, Ike, warning us about the "military industrial complex".  We didn't heed the words and are now paying the price. 


June 4 - Okay, so maybe I’ll say cheese when he gives ME $5,000.   

Gas prices may be up, but there's something that's apparently a little cheaper these days: A photo with President Bush. Yesterday, Bush headlined a fundraiser for the New Jersey state GOP, where donors could pay $5,000 to pose for a photo with the Commander in Chief. Expensive photo op, right? Well, that's actually cheaper that what donors paid just a year ago for a grip and grin with Bush. Last summer, GOP officials around the country charged at least $10,000 a pop for presidential photo op, a bargain compared to the $25,000-a-flash Bush commanded during some Republican National Committee fund-raisers back in 2000 and 2004.

     Maybe it’s inversely proportioned to the price of gas.  When gas hits $3.50 a gallon, Bush will have to pay folks to be in the same room with him and not spit. 
     You know, I’d almost pay the $5,000 for the opportunity to whisper at the President, “Hey, you know all the stuff the people around you are telling you?  Bud, listen up, get new people.” 


 Wonder what this costs us in vendor campaign contributions...... 


June 4 - Harvey Kronberg of The Quorum Report gives us an out-of-the-mainstream link today to a columnist you need to read in Cleburne, Texas, a small town up the road near Dallas.  It the best summation of the last Lege session I’ve read so far, and it’s funny. 

In Texas, we have wisely chosen to force the criminals to gather in Austin every two years so we can keep an eye on them. So what did the average Texan get out of this biannual running of the fools? Not much.


June 3 - Sometimes, somewhere, someone sets a new standard in dumb....

     Behold the glory!

     Thanks to Dr. Doyle for making us all feel superior.

June 2 - If you’ve been paying attention to the news lately, you’ve heard that Tom DeLay got all up in Newt Gingrich’s face, accusing him of adultery.  Someone, probably Tom’s wife, reminded Tom that he, too, admits to adultery.
     But, Tom DeLay is nobody’s fool.  Uh huh.  No, sireeee.  Tom said that his adultery was different than Newt’s adultery.   

The difference between his own adultery and Gingrich's, he said, "is that I was no longer committing adultery by that time, the impeachment trial. There's a big difference." He added, "Also, I had returned to Christ and repented my sins by that time."

     Well, that sounded pretty lame to me, so I proudly present … 

Top Ten Reasons Why Tom DeLay’s Adultery Was Different Than Newt Gingrich’s Adultery

10.  Newt put the adult in adultery, Tom put the dul in. 

9.  Realistic Jimmy Swaggart imitation gave Tom an unfair advantage in the babe magnet department. 

8.  Newt never adulterated in a hot tub because he’d bobble like a cork. 

7.  Educated women vs. big haired waitresses: BIG difference. 

6.  Newt never once put “under God” in his come-ons. 

5.  HOOKERPAC, Tom of course. 

4.  Who’s your whip, baby? 

3.  K Street Walkers far more fun than … well, just about anything.   

2.  Anticipation of “conjugal visits” only adds to the excitement.   

1.  Hey, they don’t call him The Hammer only for his political skills, if ya know what I mean.

June 1 - We get email from Texas teachers.

Teachers of Texas rejoice!  We have finally been given a raise that the elected ones in Austin feel that we deserve.  Halleluiah! Halleluiah!  All of my problems are now solved. I am so giddy; I simply don’t know what to do with this unexpected windfall.  I feel like someone who has just won the lottery, and I am just sitting here thinking, “What can I do with this $8.50 per week (approximately after taxes)?” 

Let’s see, maybe I’ll take in a movie. By myself. I’ve been wanting to see Pirates/Spider Man /Shrek 3.  Ohh, and I’ll have a dollar left over after getting in, perhaps I will get me a small Coke.  Not enough for popcorn though, but that’s ok, it’s really bad for me anyway. I could take my wife out to eat at Chilis. This should just about cover an appetizer that we can split.  Better just have water though.  I hope the waitress/waiter doesn’t get mad that we don’t leave a tip.  We won’t be there long anyway. We could go bowling, but with each of us playing one game we won’t be able to rent shoes.  Oh well, she doesn’t like bowling much anyway.  Hmm, I could head over the Best Buy and get a CD.  Wait, no can’t do that, they cost more than that there.  I could go to iTunes and download eight songs.  Not a full album, but hey, who listens to all the songs on an album anyway?   

Boy, this is tough. I am going to have to put some more thought into this.  Well for this week I think I will just put the money in my gas tank.  That will get me almost three gallons, which if I don’t go anywhere else, will get me back and forth to work for a week.  I am so glad I live close to my job! Thank you, oh Thank you, great State of Texas, for bestowing this wonderful raise on me. I am truly not worthy. 

The preceding bit of sarcasm was brought to you by James Herrod, Physics and Astronomy teacher at Red Oak High School. Serving the Youth Of America for nineteen years, and counting.


June 1 - Ole Earl's found another one

Several mothers who have lost children at war in Iraq took part in a new talk show today on National Public Radio.

One of them, Elaine Johnson, recounted a meeting that she had with President Bush in which he gave her a presidential coin and told her and five other families: "Don’t go sell it on eBay.”

     Hey, Bush, if you sell your brain on Ebay, don't do it by the pound!
     Nuts.  Completely nuts.

June 1 - Thanks to Earl for the heads-up on this one about George Bush's behavior.

Friends of his from Texas were shocked recently to find him nearly wild-eyed, thumping himself on the chest three times while he repeated "I am the president!"

     Hey, that's not unusual behavior.  I've been drunk enough to have to look at my driver's license to remember my name.  I'm sure Bush is just having the same problem. 
     Thelma says Bush does that because he still can't believe he's actually the President.  Hey, same deal here - I can't believe it either.

He also made it clear he was setting Iraq up so his successor could not get out of "our country's destiny."

     Okay, he's nuts. 

June 1 - I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but he's still flopping around in self-importance. 
     Please go look at Tom DeLay's schedule.  So if ya got some yardwork, goat herding, or need to extort anyone, Tom seems to have some available time.
     By the way, the FEC has approved the termination of the Tom DeLay Congressional Committee. Interestingly, the FEC HASN'T approved the termination of ARMPAC - and ARMPAC asked to be terminated before the Delay committee.
     Hmmmmm . . .

Hey Susan, 

I looked at Tom's schedule and there were no entries since March.  I felt so sorry for him I invited him to speak at the BBQ at your house on July 4th..hope  that's ok.  Y'all will have fun, really.



When Tom DeLay speaks at your Independence Day BBQ make sure you get him to bill you by the minute, not by the lie--trust me, it'll be cheaper.  And make him wear a meter like the cab drivers have.  Only Tom DeLay can find a way to short you on a dinky 5-minute speech.  Here's an idea that the pros use to keep the cost down, deduct $5 from his "honorarium" every time he says "Democrat Party."  Heck, if he gets excited enough he'll go deficit and the whole BBQ will be on him.  Anyway, you're real lucky to get him now, because I've heard he's fixin to go to Clown College--and you know how much they charge.


June 1 - Well, lookie here.  I wonder if our County Commissioners have asked for a refund?
     PBS&J, that Florida company who made a habit of ripping-off taxpayers when they did government jobs, owes some money to the taxpayers.

PBS & J has said the three employees who orchestrated the embezzlement hid the scheme by overbilling government clients. Its investigators later discovered that the firm was overcharging government clients on its own.

PBS & J estimated it will have to refund $42 million to government clients.

     Do you think we'll get a penny of that?  Yeah, when cows give beer.
     Okay, now remember back:  our county commissioners took campaign contributions from PBS&J and our County Judge, Bob Hebert, took $2,500 from them in the last reporting period.  Check for yourself. (PDF file will open)
     Do you think Hebert wants to investigate his cash cow to see if they overcharged us? 

June 1 - This was 1954, the last time I was in a good mood. No, seriously. 
     We were going through a box of old pictures last week and this one was discovered.  A family member, who shall remain nameless, commented, "Oh, Susan, you look so sweet.  That must have been before they taught the word 'politician.'"
     Yeah.  In 1956 I started poking the kid next to me and because he had Congressional aspirations.
     FAIR WARNING:  I'm going to be in a particularly cranky mood this month.  You have been warned. 


   The "Housman Elem" label on your photo led me to Google Housman Elementary.  I'm tellin' you that if I had gone to a school where there were people who looked like this, I would be mighty cranky for more than a month.

Don A.


Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district.  It's crazy here.  No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans.  They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber. 

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog.  Blogs are way too trendy for me.  I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't. 

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.