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And a big
thanks to

Matocha & Associates


Campaign finance reports

Bob Hebert
Andy Meyers
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If you'd like to make a comment, email it to me
Email comments are in the blue boxes.

July 31 - Let me tell you what bad shape the Texas GOP is in.  They've sunk lower than whale poop on the ocean floor. 
     They have a new Executive Director, twice defeated State Representative Talmadge Heflin, a man who tries to steal little children.  This is one creepy little dude.
     His name also comes up with connections to Ralph Reed and Jack Abramoff over gambling in Texas.

Austin--The possible future executive director of the scandal-plagued Texas Lottery Commission would come to the job with disturbing ties to the gambling industry. Lobbyist Ralph Reed targeted then-Rep. Talmadge Heflin in 2001, when Reed and now-indicted federal lobbyist Jack Abramoff were helping to orchestrate a crackdown on Texas Indian casinos on behalf of a competing tribe in Louisiana. Heflin also took $29,392 from donors with an interest in legalizing slot machines for his failed 2004 reelection campaign.

     More to come ...


Yeah, these Texas Republicans don't seem to have learned the first rule of politics: "When you've dug yourself into a hole don't keep saying that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel."  Ex-State Representative Martha Wong had the right idea, so I've heard--covered up the "Republican" on her campaign signs with  "RE-ELECT" stickers.  Then there was the guy running against Democrat Dora Olivo in our Dist. 27, whose signs said something like, "An Independent Voice," instead of Republican.  Molly Ivins used to tell the story about a stealth candidate named, if memory serves, Ed Hargett, who was running for Congress up in Northeast Texas.  Claimed that his opponent was "defacing" his campaign signs with "REPUBLICAN" stickers!  Who knew back then that ole Ed would be starting a fashion trend among Texas Republican candidates?  If this keeps up we're gonna have to track 'em down with hound dawgs. 


Miss Susan -
They have no shame, do they...

If memory serves me correctly, John Cornyn was also a recipient of those campaign contributions, no doubt in gratitude for his part in shutting down the Alabama-Coushattas.  Rick Noriega really needs to exploit this malfeasance on Cornyn's part.  I guess tribal brotherhood doesn't extend across state lines!

Sam in Pearland

July 31 - And in the continuing saga of PBS&J, a company that makes Halliburton look like a Mother Teresa is the CEO, a participant in their political kickbacks is off to prison.

Maria M. Garcia, the former PBS&J finance-systems manager who participated in a $36 million embezzlement at the engineering consulting firm, was sentenced to 63 months in prison Monday.

-more stuff and then ---

Two former PBS&J chairmen subsequently were charged with conspiring to violate campaign-finance laws. However, Assistant U.S. Attorney Joan Silverstein said Garcia didn't provide ''substantial assistance'' in the government's investigation into illegal campaign contributions.

     And yes, by the way, I did file with the Texas Ethics Commission about PBS&J's disappearing campaign contributions to our Commissioner Boys' Campaign Finance and Hot Rod Fund. 

July 31 - We get email about Texas Writ Twits.

Don't ask why Alberto R. Gonzales is still Attorney General. Ask why he is still permitted to practice law.

As a former resident of Austin, I surely know you’ve got to go pretty low to disgrace the practice of law in Texas, but I am still amazed that Alberto R. Gonzales has not been disbarred or censured by the Texas Bar Association.

Texans: tell your attorney to have the Texas Bar Association institute disciplinary proceedings against Alberto R. Gonzales for bringing shame and disgrace upon their membership and profession.

Texas Attorneys: have the Texas Bar Association institute disciplinary proceedings against Alberto R. Gonzales for bringing shame and disgrace upon the membership and profession. You know he’ll dust off his Texas shingle when he gets booted out of Washington. Don’t wait until then to act.

Washington, DC


July 30 - Okay, I got the link fixed below for the Harry Potter in Houston.  Enjoy.

July 30 - It’s Monday morning and Earl is riled up.

This is gonna cost us money! Read the thing:  the school districts are being sucker punched. They quote Charlie Howard, and of course Rick "Show Me The Money" Perry is behind it 110%. And the Texas Freedom Network is against it--what more do you need to know? Get your religion out of my pocket, please.


From the article --

"If a kid on the football team expresses a religious message that is not in keeping with everyone in the room, will there be protests? That school principal will have to deal with that," Woods said. "What if someone wants their time to respond then and there? If we allowed a Christian to express a religious viewpoint, and then a Wiccan wants equal time, how could we prevent them from doing the same?"

The new law will create more problems and more lawsuits, she said.

"I don't believe it really gives students any more rights to express their faith than they already had. It denies input from community members and parents and supersedes local control," Miller said. "I think Texans should be nervous when the government tries to tell their kids how and when to pray and what to believe about God."

It's NOT Rick "Show Me The Money" Perry.  It's Rick "HAND Me The Money" Perry


July 29 - Sam from Pearland says don't miss this from the Houston Press.  Sam's right - it's damn near perfect on Tom DeLay and Shelley Sekula Gibbs.
     Click the little one to see the big one.

Professor McGonagall is one of the good guys.......
But they did hit the nail on the head with He Who Should Not Be Named!
Stephanie up in Arlington

July 29 - David sent us a Sunday afternoon hoot.

July 29 - We get clever email from Kingwood, Texas.

Dear Susan,

Young Max Blumingthal's recent video of the national college republican convention in D.C. was classic.  They all supported the war but none wanted to enlist and serve ("I have asthma", says one; "I have bad knees from playing three years of little league baseball", says another).  The video ends with young Max being bodily shoved out of the auditorium sometime after Tom Delay tells the young minds that we wouldn't need all those immigrants if we hadn't aborted all of those babies or some such.  As young Max drives away from the convention, the bumper sticker on his car  reads, "Draft College Republicans."

I thought right then that I wanted one of those stickers.  What better way to end this war right now than to begin a draft of college republicans?  It would go no further than initiating the paperwork.  The war would end.   No republican momma will tolerate her baby boy having to bend over and spread um for that predraft physical much less hunting something that hunts back.

Attached is a picture of the bumper sticker on the back of my car.  I dare anyone to challenge me on it.  During my misguided youth, I was in a conservative southern college fraternity that leaned all things Nixon.  Toga parties and such came high on my list therefore I took a break during my academics to tour Southeast Asia.  I am a combat veteran (helicopter pilot).

I made the bumper sticker at this site.  It was cheap, easy and the shipping was quick.  Quality was satisfactory.

John from Kingwood


July 28 - Okey dokey, I got the problem with downloading the County Commissioner's PDF's fixed.  Carry on.

July 27 - This is so much fun that you're gonna spend all this rainy weekend playing with it!
     Our friend Cookie has done a wonderful thing for us.  So stunned was she with Andy Meyer’s campaign account that she went to all the trouble of putting it in a spreadsheet.  You can manipulate it around by date, by where the money was spent or anyhoway you want to. 
     Andy Meyers on Excel spreadsheet!
     Cookie has a few comments of her own:

Here is the spreadsheet on Andy's expenses.  When I put it in this form several questions come to mind.

1 - Where is this office that is in need of so many supplies? And, what is the phone number for this campaign office?

2 - He is paying for email for the campaign website  but yet when you go there he is using the county email address.

3 - I can't make heads or tails of all the different internet ISP's he is paying for.  At first I thought that maybe the same company has different names but why would you pay for more than one in the same month?

4- He went to Pep Boys on March 14, 16, 17 &18 to pick up one item at a time, this store is down the Southwest Frwy at Fondren/Bellaire,  So did he charge the campaign mileage for each trip just because he went four days in one week? And did he take the toll road and charge for that, too?

5- He sure spends a lot of time on the Toll Road and there is very little on the Fort Bend Toll Road, so it appears that he is away from the office and not doing a lot of work for the county.  Yet he is collecting a full time paycheck from us.

6 - If you do the math on the insurances and what the average cost to insure a man of his age, it would appear that he is paying for all of his car insurance from campaign funds.

That is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to questions that this brings up.  He has listed paying the county club twice on the same day! There is a lot of really creative booking in here.


     Enjoy!  Sleeping with one eye open is just one of the many free customers services the cast and crew does for you around here.

     And just for your daily grin and eye-roll, another customer sent me this hysterical “personal” information page that Andy Meyers himself put up on, the wacko rightwing conspiracy theory website.  By the way, the taxpayers pay for Andy’s newsletter. 

   Where can I buy a Cookie like that one?
   Your Cookie must be a real gem. What she has done with the Andy Meyers campaign account shows just how easy it is for campaign funds to be misused.  Now just imagine if someone were to do that for our favorite Tele-Hot-Tubby, Tommy the D. 
   Oh but wait, it looks like someone is doing something like that.  That hideous librul rag the New York Times ran a story today under the headline "Federal Lawmakers from Coast to Coast Are Under Investigation" which includes this:

Tom DeLay, the Texas Republican who stepped down as House majority leader in 2005 after being indicted in a state campaign finance case, remains under investigation by the F.B.I. in the Abramoff inquiry, according to people with knowledge of it. Speaking on condition of anonymity because of the secrecy of the grand jury process, they said that much of the inquiry had focused on payments made to Mr. DeLay’s wife, Christine, for work at a Washington consulting firm.

The firm was run by a former House aide to Mr. DeLay, who resigned his Congressional seat last year. Several of Mrs. DeLay’s former colleagues have been interviewed by the F.B.I. to determine if she was actually performing work for her paycheck.

Mr. DeLay’s lawyer, Richard Cullen, would not discuss details of the Justice Department’s investigation but said that “Mr. DeLay continues to bend over backwards to be cooperative, as does his wife.”

“We are very hopeful that this will end soon, but we all know that sometimes these things take longer than one would hope,” Mr. Cullen said.

You can read it all at here.

And in the meantime, we all need to watch what we say even closer.  Our Prednisent has issued another of his Executive Orders.  This one aims at "Blocking Property of Certain Persons Who Threaten Stabilization Efforts in Iraq"  It's a pip.  If it doesn't put you to sleep, it just might raise your blood pressure. 




PBS&J – an engineering firm with a shady background and generous donation ties to our county commissioners are showing their true colors again.

The former director of a city sewer program is suing several engineering firms and three Austin lobbyists, alleging that they conspired to get him fired.

The firms were seeking retaliation, the lawsuit says, because Moriarty streamlined Clean Water projects and the firms feared that they would lose money or contracts.

Armbrust and Todd said Monday that the lawsuit's allegations are false; the other defendants declined to comment, didn't return calls or couldn't be reached.

The other defendants are the firms PBS&J, Owen Consulting, Malcolm Pirnie, CH2M HILL Inc., Parsons Engineering Science Inc., K Friese & Associates and seven employees of those companies: Keith Jackson, Everett Owen, Karen Friese, Clint Walker, Lynn Mays, Greg Wieland and Ken Hall.

     And an investigation of PBS&J in Florida is being “held-up”, which has really stuck in the craw of the county comptroller who want the taxpayer’s dollars accounted for.

Haynie has been upfront about the areas of interest to her auditors. During a previous, less formal look at the authority finances two years ago, they were especially critical of the agency's contracting procedures.

In particular, the report noted general-engineering contractor PBS&J of Tampa had won at least 98 supplemental agreements after being hired -- each time without facing other competitors for the work.

That open-ended contract, along with several others, has been rebid, although PBS&J was awarded the job again last month over a rival.

     And if that’s not enough, PBS&J is suing the bank for letting their CEO embezzle money.  Ain’t that kinda like suing Dillards because they let your husband buy an ugly shirt?
     And this, my fellow county taxpayers, is who our county commissioners want to do business with. 

UPDATE:  I know you're not going to believe this, but the controversial North Texas Tollway Authority just selected a new Executive Director- a guy straight from PBS&J.

North Texas Tollway Authority (NTTA) today announced Jorge Figueredo as its new Executive Director and Rick Herrington as Deputy Executive Director.

Mr. Figueredo has spent the last 16 years in the toll business. Before today's announcement, he was the Senior Division Manager for Post, Buckley, Shuh, and Jernigan (PBS&J) overseeing the company's toll operations practice in the Central United States.

The North Texas Tollway Authority, a political subdivision of the State of Texas, is authorized to acquire, construct, maintain, repair and operate turnpike projects in the North Texas region.

     I dunno.  PBS&J is being investigated all over the country for ripping-off taxpayers and we can hardly wait to be next in line. 
     On the upside, they are very generous with their campaign contributions.  I know that makes you feel better.

July 26 - In case you're wondering, the FEC punts on considering the Texas Republican Congressman Ted Poe's  audit until August (when no one will be in Washington). 
     However, our Washington correspondent will be there to keep you informed.


July 26 - Okay, you need to sit down.  For years I have warned you that when Tom DeLay starts talking crazzzy and speaking in tongues, there’s going to some bad news come out about him within days.  Well, get ready to find out that he’s been drowning little kittens or getting into hot tubs with goats because he’s now hoping that Armageddon is “coming tomorrow.”
     Well, come to think of it, maybe that’s not so crazy.  After all, it would solve that whole Ronnie Earle and Jack Abramoff problem.
     A whole mess of customers have sent me emails about Tom’s latest weirdness.  Here’s a video of him acting like he’s just had a big ole cup of Chock Full O’ Nuts and doubled-up on the Chock part.  He’s the very first thing on the video.  But, the whole video is worth watching. 
     If you’re at work and can’t listen to it, Customer Jim gives this synopsis: 
In an interview, Tom Delay, when asked how much the "Second Coming" plays into his support for Israel, says, "obviously, it's what I live for, I hope it comes tomorrow."  Delay closed by saying, "we have to be connected to Israel to enjoy the second coming."
     See, we’re talking drowning kittens.
     The conference Tom was at encourages nuking Iran to hurry along Armageddon. Bless their inbred hearts, most of them think the “Left Behind” series are science books. 

I've done some research on John Hagee, the head of the pro-Israel movement in the film.  Seems like he had an affair with a member of his church about 30 years ago, divorced his wife and then married the other woman. After he got caught he showed the proper remorse and now refuses to discuss the matter so I guess that makes it OK.  When I look at the man he reminds me of the bar owner in the movie Porkys.  Looks like he and Tom are a perfect fit.


Dear Susan,

I have another theory.  Its not the stupidity its the humidity.  See  I think folks who believe in Armageddon are well, steamed broccoli. These folks brains have steamed way too long here in the hot humid south.


I imagine that extremist venues like this one are the only ones where ole Tom isn't about as welcome as an excruciatingly bad mime, so he's got to seize the moment.  He's the O.J. Simpson of politics--an ex-celebrity who can't quite figure out how he got defenestrated from the A-List down to the H-List, as in has-been.  DeLay, like his book, has been relegated to the bargain bin.


July 26 - I do not know what dirt Alberto Gonzales has on George W. Bush that allows Alberto to keep his job, but if I had that kind of dirt of George Bush, I can assure you that I'd use it for something better than an danged government job.
     I'm talking a yacht, a beach house in Cabo, or a Winnebago.
     Watching Alberto's testimony before the Senate committee was an event so amazing that the Franklin Mint should make a coin commemorating it. 

     A big ole hug to Ann Telnaes.

July 26 - My friend Patti from Minnesooota sent me a picture of some shoes she heard they were selling in Texas.

     And they even made them in UT colors!
     Yep - more rain today.

July 26 - How clueless are House Republicans?
     Listen to Texas Rep. "Smokin'" Joe Barton (R-Congressman from Anadarko)) whining about a recently-passed House bill that would ban congressional spouses from being paid with campaign funds.

     "Terri would have to stop working altogether or volunteer, or find a job outside the home that pays for the day care," he said.

      Guess what Capitan Easy Street?  That's the same choice faced by tens of millions of Americans who don't get paid $165,000 a year.
     For you people from foreign states, Joe Barton is a piece of work.  He's referred to as the Congressman from big oil, and got some sideways looks when he recently announced, "I cannot imagine any objective finding that CO2 is a pollutant," he said. "If that's true, God is a polluter."  Last we heard, God was pretty hacked-off about that.
     After holding himself out as Mr. Virtuous, he divorced his wife Janet in 2003 and by 2005 he had a child with his new wife.  Hell, he didn't even wait to break her in.  That's some speedy seed, my friends.
     And his new wife ain't the only one on his payroll.
     Citizens for Ethics reported that Barton paid his wife Terri $57,759 in salary and bonuses, from his campaign funds in the 2006 election cycle. A spokesman said that Terri served as the campaign's outreach director and planned fundraising and special events.  Barton's daughter Kristin was paid $12,622 in salary and bonuses and his mother, Nell Barton, was paid $7,000 for a car.
     And that's why you're paying more at the gas pump this morning.  Big oil has to pay for Smokin' Joe's lifestyle.

Miss Susan -
What the tarnation is wrong with that bumkin "Smokin'" Joe?!  He must think the entire US of A population is dumbed down from watchin' Fix News.  Sheesh!

I think Joe says it all…...
"I'm not apologetic. She does real work and
puts out a good product. I'm tired of us acting like there's something we should be ashamed of -- I'm not."

I'll bet she does!



I don't know what Smokin' Joe is smokin' but it's probably illegal in 48 states.

Helen from a Foreign State


July 25 - Bubba paid the ransom and I'm home.  I'll start posting tomorrow.  I did post a few of the emails I got about Andy at the bottom below. 
     I just posted a few of them because most of them were downright tacky. 


July 24 - Okay, so here’s my theory of why Republican County Commissioner Andy Meyers always has his hand in the campaign money cookie jar.
     This is Andy Meyer’s personal financial statement.  Treat it with care because buying it cost me $1.00 cash American money per page.  No kidding.  They really like to keep these suckers private.   Lying on these reports is a felony and you just never know when we might get a District Attorney around here who might enforce election laws.
     For a self-described “former successful businessman,” Andy ain’t reaping the benefits. 
     Now, Andy comes from the school of “If you love Jesus and Jesus loves you, then Jesus will give you a Cadillac so everybody can see how much Jesus loves you.” 
     Yep, and Andy has a Cadillac.  A Cadillac he can almost afford.
     Some interesting things from Andy’s report –

He owns between 1,000 and 5,000 shares of a company he’s unwilling to give us the name of.  (See page 4)  I dunno.  Could be he owns stock in Lovely Linda’s House o’ Whips and hasn’t told his wife yet.

He owns between 1,000 and 5,000 shares of Meyers, LyBrand, and Company, Inc.  Run a Google search on that sucker and see what you find.  Diddle squat is what you’ll find.

He owes $10 - $25,000 on his Cadillac and $5 - $10,000 on his Buick.  Obviously, the “campaign truck” is a backup plan for late payments.

He owns 2 acres in Calcasieu Parish, Lousianna.  You’d have to pay somebody to take that off your hands.  Next big hurricane, Andy will own 2 acres of Gulf of Mexico.    

The Pinnacle Group is Andy’s own company.  It makes no money and is worth less than $5,000.

     Seven years ago, Commissioners had their $500 car allowance rolled into their salaries, but Andy still gave himself $3,704 in personal car expenses from his campaign account this reporting period.  Yes, he is the only county commissioner who does that.  Add it all together and you get $6,704 in automobile expenses in the past 6 months.  At the IRS’s allowance of 48.5 cents a mile, that means Andy drove over 12,000 miles in 6 months.  Even if you subtract the salary rollover, that mean Andy could have driven between here and Argentina (no, seriously, look it up) in the past 6 months.  There are truckers who would envy that record.
     Look, I know that Andy has to pay for that Cadillac somehow.  I mean, think how it would look for a public servant not to drive a Cadillac, especially one who thinks his car reflects how much he loves Jesus.  But, for Heaven’s sake, doesn’t Andy realize that those campaign contributions come out of our pockets in the form of higher prices to the county? 
     Look, I know I’m whining, but I’m tired of paying for Andy’s lifestyle.
     I am also tired of paying for Bob Hebert’s generosity with my money. 

Calcasieu Parish does cover Lake Charles.  Some of the land near the big casinos there might be worth a few dollars.  It would be interesting to know exactly where that two acres is.


Miss Susan -

What's more important - wheels with bling or more deputies for the county.  Hmmm...  No question, the wheels.

And should your thought about Handy Andy's Calcasieu Parish property come true: even better to stick in his craw - it'd belong to the State of Lousianna.



P.S.  Have all the fun you want with my nickname for the slacker.


Could it be that he wants a retirement home near Vidor, Texas right across the river?
From Wikipedia:  The racial makeup of the city was 97.33% White, 0.07% African American, 0.52% Native American, 0.19% Asian, 0.03% Pacific Islander, 0.66% from other races, and 1.21% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 3.49% of the population  ( I wonder who washes their dishes, mows their yards, raises their children, and carries away their garbage?)
There is more there, but you probably know the history of the Klan in Vidor.


Does anybody check Andy's pockets when he leaves the courthouse after meetings?  He's probably taking home the pens and paper clips  and selling them as school supplies to supplement his $100,000 a year salary! 

That turkey has no shame.



July 23 - It must be Email Monday.

If this bill passes, it will be your fault!

You were the one who told us about the Texas statute on which this bill is based.

Last month, Rep. Adam Schiff, D-Calif., introduced a bill that would prohibit spouses of lawmakers from performing paid campaign work. It has the support of many members of the House Democratic leadership. Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, D-Md., is a co-sponsor.

"It is part of an effort to raise the bar on campaign ethics," Mr. Schiff said.


Added Monday night from Alfredo:  It IS your fault.

July 23 - We get great informative email.


Tom (the good one) is back.

Free downloads.

Note from Susan:  The John Ashcroft song is my favorite.  There's lyrics for those of you at work.


July 22 - Here's a little interesting local news.
     County Judge Bob Hebert hired an Austin writ twit named Ed Shack to represent him in his guilty plea with the Texas Ethics Commission.  Hebert paid Shack $1,950. which is a lot of money to say, "Yep, I did it."
     However, Fort Bend County District Attorney John Healey must have a bigger battle with the Ethics Commission.  Click the little one below to see that he hired Ed Shack in June of this year to defend him against a complaint someone - not me - filed with the Ethics Commission. 
     Investigations at the Texas Ethics Commission are kept secret until they are settled. 
     I admit that I haven't followed Healey's campaign contributions and expenditures, but I did buy it this time to see if he still owes his in-laws $91,450 that he borrowed for his campaign a long time ago.  He does.
     Of interest:  Healey raised $25,532 in the past 6 months, spent $10,384, and still has $39,835 in his campaign account.  I saw nothing in his report out of the ordinary.
     And who is Ed Shack?  Apparently he's Dr. Fixit for ethics problems.  Go here and type "Shack" in the payee box.  Click enter and Viola!

July 22 - We get email.

Hi Susan,

For a few years now, I have truly enjoyed reading your commentary on Short Tom and the shenanigans in Fort Bend County.

But, I just gotta tell ya, I got a problem with this blue thing.  No, it's not the title of your new site--it's the background color used for your readers' comments.  My aging eyes have difficulty reading the text as there is so little contrast between text and background. Please understand, I'm not referring to your entertaining and informative comments, but lighten up, huh lady?

Best wishes from Cameron County,


I agree about the dark blue background, it causes me to need my glasses!!

July 21 - There has to be a real special place in hell for these guys ---

A second former executive of a global logistics company has pleaded guilty in U.S. District Court to receiving kickbacks on Iraq war contracts and lying to federal investigators.

Kevin Andre Smoot, 43, faces up to 15 years in prison and $500,000 in fines after pleading guilty Friday to making a false statement and violation of the Anti-Kickback Act before U.S. District Judge Michael M. Mihm.

--more stuff here --

Smoot further admitted that from January 2002 through April 2005, he gave more than $33,000 worth of entertainment to five Houston-based KBR transportation department employees for favorable treatment in getting subcontracts, a violation of the Anti-Kickback Act.

The gratuities included food, drinks, golf outings, tickets to rodeo events, baseball and football games and other entertainment events.

     KBR, that's Halliburton. 

On a random note, I heard a good one today:

"Cheney/DeLay '08: Why settle for the lesser of two evils?"


July 21 - One of the Sugar Cane Queens is moving to a foreign state so we gave her a Vaya con Dios party at my house yesterday. 
     She's covering her face because she was our main Republican spy in Fort Bend and she'll continue that gift when she gets to her new destination. You know her as Fenway Fran around here.
     We're training a new spy but she's having a hard time learning to say, "I will pray for yew and George Bush, yes I will," with the proper inflection. 
     Meanwhile, you need to know that you can buy this excellent wine at Central Market.  It's a saucy little spirit that will kick you in the butt with it's lingering glow.  It ain't fruity at all, but has a zesty depth with a hint of magnolia and baseball bats. But, most importantly, it's got a pink label with the b word on it, making it fully worth the $9.95.

July 20 - So everybody thinks my friend Bob staged this picture.  He didn't.  People all along the Brazos are pulling hefty-sized catfish out of The River. 


     And there's a 70% chance that it's gonna rain pickles, pride, and little poodle puppies today.  So if by tomorrow ya see me on CNN in Bubba's bass boat with my laptop looking for wifi, send some towels and flippers.


Looking at that high water picture reminds me that you don't have to be crazy to live here, but it is strongly recommended.  A few years back some 18 or so homeowners in a low-lying area of a Houston subdivision found that the overflowing bayou would flood their homes both frequently and often.  They couldn't continue to live there with peace of mind, and no fool could be found willing to buy their amphibious homes.  So the City of Houston came up with the win-win solution of buying the wet properties for use as a park.  But then the Homeowners Association had a conniption fit, because those properties were deed restricted for resale ONLY as private residences, and by gosh they were going to force those patsies to grow gills if need be!  If I recall correctly, this Catch-22 was finally resolved by the City instituting Eminent Domain proceedings "against" the homeowners, to their utter delight, and the Homeowners Association was told to go suck a lemon.


July 20 - And here's the campaign finance report of Republican Commission Andy Meyers, the local religious right's answer to Superman.  It's 101 pages of greed.  Ask not what Andy Meyers can do for you, ask how much money Andy can finagle for himself.
     By the way, Michael Meyers, Andy's campaign manager during a non-election year, is also his son.  Michael is  registered to vote at his Dad's house (there's nothing wrong with that), but he's not real big on this voting stuff.  Click the little one to get the big one.

     That's Michael's voting record.  Michael's not excited about voting in the general election, which means he only votes against Republicans, not Democrats.  My kind of guy!
     I have a hard and fast rule that families of elected officials are off-limits to criticism, but once that family member goes on the payroll, they're fair game.
     A little later, I'll give you some information that may help you understand why Andy keeps his personal fist in the campaign fund cookie jar.


Meyers spent over $100 for a steering wheel cover and a bed liner for his new pickup. $45 for a steering wheel cover?   Is this Pimp My Ride with Campaign Donations?

Why does he pay some of his country club bill with campaign funds but other parts of his country club bill from his personal funds that he expects his campaign to reimburse him for?  Is this the creative accounting you were talking about?

Hey Zeus

July 19 - Okay, Bob Hebert's is up.  Go feast your eyes on a searchable scan.  It's the largest collection of developers and non-bid vendors with their hands in your pocket you'll see for a while. 
     I dunno know about you but I think we ought to start making Bob wear an outfit like NASCAR drivers wear, giving credit to all his corporate sponsors. 
     If the county judge is going to be for sale, we might as well know to who without spending fifty dollars for copies.

July 19 - Golly gee, Tom DeLay is feeling the devil's breath singe his rump.
     Ole Mr. Karma is knocking on Tom's door and Karma gets what Karma wants.


The governor of the Northern Mariana Islands said Thursday he's cooperating with the Justice Department's corruption investigation around jailed GOP lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

The tiny U.S. commonwealth is also still trying to retrieve some of the millions it paid Abramoff's firms, said Gov. Benigno R. Fitial.

Fitial referred questions about the Justice Department's inquiry to his Los Angeles attorney, Tom Pollack, who didn't immediately return calls for comment.

     I wonder if Jack Abramoff is holding a tee time for Tom. 
     I know you people from outta state don't understand why I stay on Tom DeLay.  It's because there is a small army of people in this county who think Tom walks on water and can make bread fall butter-side up.  They still say Tom did nothing wrong.  Honey, I'm gonna do the hoochy-koochy dance in their front yards the day Tom is carted off to jail. 

July 19 - Okay, we're working on getting the campaign finance reports up.  Andy Meyers attempted to moon me by filing 300 pages of reports and corrected reports.  It cost me fifty dollars and thirty cents to buy the reports this time. 
     David is doing something really cool with the reports this time.  His are much easier to read than when I did it, and you will be able to use the "search" tool to search the reports for any vendor or expenditure you want to see.  You will, however, need to make sure you have the latest free edition of Adobe Reader to use the new functions. 
     Here's the run down:

     County Judge Bob Hebert raised $96,600 in tax free political contributions during the past six months and spent $75,137 buying influence at local charities.  He still has $72,243.95 in his campaign account.
     Commissioner Tom Stavinoha raised $500 (from the Greater Houston Homebuilders PAC) and spent $8,704.  He still has $7,205. in his campaign account.
     Commissioner James Patterson raised no money and spent $5,275.  He has $26,324. in his campaign account.
     Commissioner Andy Meyers raised $69,650. and spent $39,537 mostly on himself and his son.  He still has $47,644 in his campaign account. 

     When you see the names underlined over there to the left at the bottom, that means you can click on the name and get the report in PDF format.

July 19 - I got so many positive comments about Granny Geek's website that I added a link to the left.  Yep, I love it, too.  If you haven't checked out the Signs and Wonders, it's well worth a visit.  Kinda makes you want to tote your camera everywhere you go.

July 19 - My buddy Maureen is more than half way to her goal for the marathon bike ride benefiting cancer research.  Drop a couple of  bucks in her bucket and maybe she’ll say something nice about me again.  I am required to pay her twenty five cents a month to keep her from telling folks that I have a Yankee friend.  I know it’s extortion, so do not tell her I’d be willing to pay fifty cents to keep that information quiet.  Maybe even a dollar.
     The first time I mentioned this race, I used the wrong link to donate.  So if you donated, please email the Pan-Mass Challenge and tell them that your donation should be credited to Maureen O’Brien. 
     Go ahead - do a good deed today.

July 18 - Holy butt on the line! No wonder Tom DeLay is talking goofy!  Remember me telling you for years that he starts "speaking in tongues" anytime his rump is fixing to get in trouble? 
     Well, jackpot!
     It seems that Duke Cunningham ratted-out Tom, Jerry Lewis and Katherine Harris - the Trifecta of Fanatical.  Lookie right here.
     In an FBI report written in February of this year, Duke Cunningham pours out his guts with a list of prostitutes, kickbacks, gambling, illegal weapons, jet ski boats, cash handoffs, limousines, and all manner of illegal and immoral things that
Brent Wilkes or Mitchell Wade gave him, the report ends with this jewel----  (Click the little one to get the big one)

July 18 - Well, there some good news today.  The PBS&J fellas who stole money and made a mockery of campaign finance are headed to the pokey.

Two of three former PBS&J officials who participated in a $36 million embezzlement at the engineering consulting firm were sentenced Tuesday.

Former Chief Financial Officer W. Scott DeLoach faces just over eight years in federal prison for his part in the scheme.

DeLoach also received two years for his guilty plea to using ''strawmen'' to illegally contribute $11,000 to the 2004 campaign of U.S. Sen. Mel Martinez. The sentences will run concurrently

     There were also campaign donations made to our County Commissioners that got lost somewhere
     Yeah, I filed with the Texas Ethics Commission on that one, too.

July 18 - Oh Sweet Jesus, this is about the goofiest thing Tom DeLay has ever said and he's said some doozies.

"I contend [abortion] affects you in immigration," DeLay told the Washington-area gathering. "If we had those 40 million children that were killed over the last 30 years, we wouldn't need the illegal immigrants to fill the jobs that they are doing today. Think about it."

     No, I will not think about that.  That's nuts.  That's insane talk. 
     You just gotta wonder what horrible thing is in DeLay's past to make him so obsessed with abortion rights. 
     Hey Tom, try this logic:  maybe safe legal abortions kept another Adolph Hitler from being born.  So are you being pro-Adolph Hitler?  Makes as much sense, buddy, which is no sense at all.
     Thanks to Richard for the heads-up!  Here's a video of it.  It's a great video to watch even without Tom DeLay.


Tom DeLay is the worst spokesman for anti-abortionism SINCE Hitler.  In fact, I would paraphrase Samuel Johnson in saying that, "Anti-abortionism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."  DeLay insults the intelligence of his audience just like this speech made by a political candidate at a Klan rally:

"I want people to say to me: ' We don't care if you're a thief, we don't care if you're incompetent. . . . '  I want people to vote for me because I'm a white man!"


July 18 - Andy Meyers takes the cake.  He wins.  I give up.  Yo Andy, you da man.  You finally just sent me over the side of the boat.
     I just now got started this morning perusing Republican County Commissioner Andy Meyer's Stack O' Lies that he claims are his campaign contributions and expenditures.  Something jumped out at me like a cold hand on a dark night.
     Click the little one to get the big one. 

     Republican County Commissioner Andy Meyers bought a "campaign truck" out of his campaign account. 
     A freekin' truck.  A three quarter ton truck.  I suspect he needed a big one to haul home all his legalized kickbacks. 
     Andy brought in $70 grand in "campaign contributions" in the past 6 months (when he wasn't even running for office) with only $150 of it being in contributions of $50 or less.  When I finally get this report uploaded - all 101 pages of it - you are going to shake like a hula girl on double caffeine when you see the "contributions" he's getting from non-bid vendors and developers.  That's tax-free money, my friend. 
     On top of the truck with insurance and gas for it, Andy also charges his campaign for use of his personal car and his son's car.
     Let me remind you that all this done when he's not even up for re-election until 2008. 
     A truck.  A freekin' whole danged truck.  Bought it.  Didn't rent it.  Bought it. 
     And, yeah, it's legal.  Darned Texas ethics rules.  However, he has to reimburse his campaign account if he uses it for anything personal.  There were no reimbursements from March until July so he's never, ever, whatsoever, no way used it for something personal.  Yep.
     Damn, I give up.  He's just blatant about being the greediest kid on the block.


Have a heart, girl.  Andy needs that 3/4 ton pick 'um up truck to haul around these signs all over the country during the next election.  And he needs it 2 years before election because he can use it to rescue people in case of the flooding that all his developer friends are causing.  That's political, girl.

Nelly from Katy

Count your blessings because he could have needed a campaign limo, a campaign yacht or a campaign country club.

Hey Zeus

Oh Susan, don't get your panties all knotted up, Andy needs that truck to ride in the Fort Bend Fair parade, so he can wave to all the little people.


July 18 - I made a new friend from Dallas.  You're gonna love Granny Geek's website.  You're gonna really, really love her Greatest Hits from the ACLU Answering Machine.  Being as the calls come mostly from Republicans, most of them are X-rated.  Just giving you a warning.
     Mosey around a while at the site and see how handy Granny is with a camera.  Enjoy!

July 17 - Okay, so the guy who's going to put the campaign finance reports in PDF format for me is outta town until Thursday.  It'll take me about that long to scan them all and look at them closely. 
     So, look for them on Friday afternoon.  Late Friday afternoon because I have a very important luncheon date this Friday
     Meanwhile, I'll let you know if I find anything else that'll knot your socks.

July 17 - I just couldn't wait to tell you about this one.  Since I filed a complaint with the Texas Ethics Commission about his campaign finance reporting (it's still pending), Republican Commissioner Andy Meyers filed this stack of "Corrected Reports" going back to 1995.  That's my teevee remote next to it.  He just filed them yesterday - for expenditures made 2 years ago.
     It's 290 pages of corrected reports.  Too bad Andy only went back and corrected his mistakes for the past two years (you're very welcome), because the Texas Ethics Commission will fine you for reports going back 3 years.
     I knew Andy Meyers would never admit to a mistake.  So, he had to come up with a reason why he violated about 5 different election code laws.
     Andy Meyers has more excuses than the Lamar High School attendance office.  Lookie at this:

     Click the little one to get the big one.  "due to software and hardware problems."  Oh smack me with a fish and call me Mrs. Paul, that's the silliest dang thing I've seen since Tinkerbell farts. 
     Notice that he's also claiming more "expenditures made from personal funds" to cover the checks cut to himself.  What a total nincompoop.  He's slimier than snail snot, that one. 

Democracy in action! Only the public, ultimately, can hold elected officials accountable - great work forcing Andy to file these reports!


P.S. You might enjoy this report on campaign finance disclosure in Minnesota.

Now, Now, dear.  He may very well have actually had "hardware and software problems".  After all, he most likely got his computer in a sweetheart deal from the same outfit he and Ted bought us all them fancy voting machines from, and we know how well 'they' work.


July 17 - More than likely I will be busier than a one-armed stripper this week because campaign finance reports were filed yesterday. 
     Because our county commissioners are just two clicks away from filing their reports with a chisel and stone, that means I have to go buy paper copies of the reports, scan the reports, put them in PDF format, and then upload them to this site. 
     Every governmental body on the face of the planet files their campaign finance reports electronically for the citizens to see, including the City of Houston.  But us, nooooooo. 
     And, for pete's sake, the Chronicle was complaining because you have to have minimal computer skills to see the city reports.  I've got to have walking, paying, scanning, converting, and uploading skills for you to see ours, and I'm not even going to mention paper cuts and staple removers and bad handwriting.
     It's my bet that we're going to see an all-time low in getting and spending this go-round because the elected officials are now aware that I'm madder than hell and I'm not going to take it anymore.  I will file with the Texas Ethics Commission and I'll smile while I'm doing it, dammit.  Yeah, Andy and Bob, I'm talking to you.
     Anyway, I requested the reports yesterday and I'm waiting for them to call me when the copies are ready. I suspect I'll have a couple of them uploaded by Wednesday.  So, if you want to make copies of the last reports, do it now by clicking one of the names of the left and saving the PDF file. 
     Wish me luck because I'm wandering into the swamp of county commissioners and their money.  It's creepy in there!

July 17 - And this is what happens when you lean too far right.

July 16 - Maybe it's just another of those "gross mistakes."  Bottom line:  It cost former Congressman J.D. Hayworth (R-AZ) $170,000 to cooperate in the Justice Department's investigation of Jack Abramoff:

Hayworth paying legal fees for fed investigation

Former Republican Congressman J.D. Hayworth is confirming for 12 News that he is cooperating with a federal investigation involving former lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

Hayworth's new campaign finance report shows almost $170,000 in payments to a Washington law firm since his defeat last November by Democrat Harry Mitchell. Hayworth says the bills are connected to a Department of Justice request for 12 years worth of documents covering his legislative work with the Congressional Native American Caucus.

Hayworth said today, "I wanted to accommodate the request as soon as possible because I thought it was important to clear up questions. I've done nothing wrong, and I don't expect there to be any further action."

     Yep, $170,000 and he did nothing wrong.  No, siree, nothing. 
     Dude, the Koolaide is getting weak.


July 16 - In Texas when somebody is real good at something we say that “he wrote the book on it.”  It’s meant as a compliment – something generally in short supply in Texas – and would be used only for occasion when someone was the go-to guy on a topic.
     So, it comes as no surprise that the Bush administration wrote on book on silencing protests.
    Yep.  The ACLU – yeah, I’m a card member and if you’ve got a problem with that let’s step outside and we’ll settle this between your rump and my foot – has obtained the secret White House book on how to deal with protestors at a Bush event.  You can read it for yourself, but needless to say it involves sororities, shouting, and looking over your shoulder. 
     Bush is a fraidy cat, pure and simple.  If you gotta have a 103 page book just to keep free speech silent, then you’re as yellow as mustard without the bite.  He’s Moses Rose, Jr.


That's why Laura Bush says she doesn't believe her husband's low approval ratings, because everywhere they go the people are so enthusiastic about him!  Can you say, "Bubble Girl?"


July 16 - Roll Call (subscription only) is wondering if it’s “unparliamentarily” to call George Bush a liar.
     It appears that a brazen idea broke out at a House Judiciary Committee Meeting last week.  Democrat Mel Watts of North Carolina made mention that “Bush lied about the reasons for going to war.” 
     Jumping to Bush’s defense with both his IQ points flaring, Republican Chris Cannon of Utah objected to that statement on the grounds that calling Bush a liar is “unparliamentarily and violates House rules on debate and decorum.”  Those rules, according to Cannon, forbid personal attacks on Members, the President or the Vice President.  
     I have two thoughts on this.  First, where was Cannon during the Clinton presidency when we really needed him?
     Second thought – calling Bush a liar is merely unparliamentarily, not untrue?  So, the way I hear it, Cannon is sure that Bush is a liar but it’s just not nice to say so.  Kinda like not mentioning the wart on the end of Grandma’s nose.
     However, Republicans just can’t leave it at stoopid.  They always have to add the cherry of hypocrisy on top.  Cannon was the twit who said that US Attorney David Iglesias was forced to resign because “he’s an idiot.” 
     Fortunately, Cannon’s statement may be the beginning of the end. It has been noted that Cannon’s state, Utah, is the only state in the nation that gives Bush a better than 50% approval rating.  If Utah is bottoming-out at “it’s not nice,” then we’re looking at blue map.


July 15 - Cripes!  Five feet high and rising!  7:15 p.m. at my house tonight.  Bring your bass boat.
     This was after a 30 minute rain.  This is what happens when you pour concrete on the entire dang county.  This is why somebody - anybody! - needs to ask some serious questions about unsustainable development. 

July 15 - Our friend Earl found another Republican in a hoochy-koochy scandal.  It's a little raw for my website because Momma comes here and Momma don't put up with improper language, so I'll try to clean it up a little, but I just need you Republicans to know that you're making it very difficult for me to keep it clean and still report what you're doing.  I wish you'd do something about that.
     Here's Earl's cleaned-up email.  Now, I have to give a Momma-Warning for the website it sends you to.  Momma, don't click the link; it'll just upset you. 

Oh, Susan!

Have I got one for you!  Here's a Republican State Rep. in North Carolina who stuck his thing the wringer and had to resign.  It's hilarious!   "A Third Republican Legislator In A Sex Scandal!" with the guy's picture and what he said, which I won't give away the punchline for you.  You will go nuts!

It's right about here.



After reading Earl’s report and looking at the man’s pathetic picture I can understand why he has to chase some poor woman around to try to get his desires quenched. Even at my advancing age I would have to be comatose to even be in the same state as State Rep. David Almond fully dressed.


July 14 - Okay, so Democratic Senate candidate Mikal Watts figured I wasn’t using my freedom of choice anyway, so he’d solicited me for an endorsement.  I got the letter today. 
     Click the little one to see the big one. 
     I’ve read it twice.  The second time I read it out loud just so I wouldn’t miss anything.
     It seems to me that he’s trying to say two things:
     1. He is for what is good and against what is bad.
     2. He has a lot of rich friends. 
     No, seriously, that’s about it.  He “will demand change in Iraq.”  Well, boy howdy, that statement takes about the same courage as showering nakkid.  I think the latest polls show that 17% of Americans think we should continue to get out butts handed to us on a platter in Iraq.
     Watts also daringly supports “better and more affordable health care.”  Gee, he’s for lowering the price of aspirin?  He is also audacious enough to suggest that “every child should have a quality education,” (whoa – that’s a new thought!) and that “we feel safe in our homes and communities as we go about our daily lives.”  (If this Senate thing doesn't work out, he can sell breakfast cereal.) I don’t think the man is looking for a debate on the issues, huh?  But hey, he can be in charge of bumper stickers!
     Wanna hear the worst part?  It has just occurred to me that Watts spent money for some slick consultant to write this letter for him.  Cheezzzzz….. money for crapola.
     Watts can get right on choice and stem cell research and then come calling again.  Until then, I think his letter must have been air mail – hot air – and just floated into my mailbox.
     He included a card for me to fill out and return. 

     I wrote "I fought too hard for safe, legal abortions to let you go back to coat hangers," and sent it back to him.  I even used my own stamp.

Hey, if you're going to black out your street address, you should also black out your nine digit zip. Anyone who has all nine digits wouldn't find it especially difficult to ferret out your street address.


Dear Doyle,

Heck, Honey, my town is so small that we only have half a zip code.  Anyhowway, I figure that if Mikal Watts front porch preachersc an find me, then there's probably no need to pretend I'm hiding. 

Besides, a woman armed with a shotgun, a loud dog, and Texas trespassing laws doesn't fret over unwelcome visitors. 


July 14 - Local folks who remember and love Fort Bend County's best newspaper writer ever, Willis Webb, will want to know that he and Julie survived the floods in central Texas, and "Writer's Roost" is once again operational.  They made it, but not without adventure. 
     I'll let Willis himself tell you about it.

July 13 - Okay, this is the third source on this, so something is cooking with Harris County Judge Jim Squier running for CD22 in Texas. 

Hey Susan
Did you know your fine Congressional District is getting a new R candidate for 08? 
Judge Jim Squier, who is the Judge of the 312th Judicial District Court apparently has been recruited by the Rep party to run in the primary.  Judge Jim is best known in the Harris County Family Courthouse as "Reverend Jim" telling many divorce litigants about his own strong personal, religious beliefs.
He recently told a couple who had been divorced for a long, long time (and were still fighting about the custody of their kids) that he thought they should just get back together.  That wasn't his call, needless to say. 
Just wanted you to be one of the first to know.
your pal,

       He'd certainly give former Sugar Land Mayor Dean Hrbacek a run for his money with the religious right crowd.  That would be a fun one to watch.
     I'm just throwing this out there because I've now heard it from three people - Coco, a Harris County Republican precinct chair, and my favorite source, "Shallow Thoat."  I'd bet my best pair of pink boots on it at this point.  The Republican party knows they can't win with Shelley or Dean, so you know they're looking. 

July 13 - BREAKING.  Thanks to Harvey Kornberg at Quorum Report (subscription only)


As expected, Travis County District Attorney Ronnie Earle filed with the Court of Criminal Appeals seeking a rehearing on an indictment against Tom DeLay and others that was dismissed several weeks ago.

Earle has argued that with their 5-4 ruling, the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals has immunized individuals that conspire to commit felonies found in the Election Code, the Water Code, Natural Resources Code and the Finance Code.

In his statement, Earle illustrates his point explaining that a conspiracy to destroy bank records would not be an indictable offense according to the CCA, because the actual felony of destroying the records appears in the Finance Code rather than the Penal Code.

The filing.

July 13 - Just in case you missed it this morning, check out this Nick Anderson "rap." 
     And to think - John Cornyn is bring Karl Rove to Texas to help his campaign.  Oh brother, that's going to go over like cactus underwear.

July 13 - The FEC audit of Ted Poe was yesterday and everything got put on hold. 

FEC commissioners agreed to defer final action on a separate staff audit of the 2004 campaign of Rep. Ted Poe (R-Texas). The Poe campaign audit found violations of FEC reporting rules, but the campaign disputed how the FEC staff conducted the audit.

The FEC auditors contended that the Poe campaign failed to produce copies of checks documenting some of its bank deposits. The campaign argued that it did not have to keep copies of these checks because they were held by the campaign's bank. The FEC commissioners had a lengthy discussion of audit procedures, punctuated at one point by a last-minute letter from the Poe campaign's lawyer, Donald McGahn, being circulated among the commissioners. The commissioners ultimately were unable to resolve the matter and indicated they would continue to discuss it.

     You know, back when Ole Ted was a judge, he got famous for making people convicted a theft stand on a street corner and wear a sign that says, "I am a thief."  I think we ought to make him wear one that says, "I can't keep up with all the money that lobbyist throw at me."

July 13 - T.S. sends us some email that I need about now.  This is especially for Hal and Lorrie - my physics and baseball friends, but everyone who loves the sound of the bat will enjoy it.


Politics can make you crazy and old before your time.  Now for something purer.

Click here for The Anatomy of a Homerun.


July 12 - (DURN! AND ANOTHER UPDATE AND CORRECTION.) UPDATE AT BOTTOM:  Okay, so I was at a table full of Democrats last night when Larry Flynt went on CNN last night and said he has nailed 2 more Senators and 25 House members in the DeeCee sex scandal, and that most of them don’t even know it yet.
     Several of us had to be slapped on the back in order to breathe again.  
     Look, I think that what a man does in his private life is his business.  Republicans don’t believe that.  They want to know everything you do behind closed doors, and that’s just not limited to hoochy-koochy.  They want to look at your mail, hear your phone conversations, know where you’re going on the internets, what you’re buying with your credit cards, how you sound singing in the shower, but mostly they want to know what you do nakkid.  Republicans are real nervous about nakkid. 
     I disagree with them.  I think Americans are entitled to some privacy from their government.  
     However, I also think that people should walk the walk if they talk the talk. 
     Anybody with an ear to the ground in local politics knows that the guys in DeeCee aren’t the only ones with …. shall we say …. issues.  I ain’t gonna talk about it, but if you want to know what’s happening you need to make friends with one of the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club members and see who they have on their prayer and chatter list.  And, Lord help us, are they ever chattering!

UPDATE: Okay, so I go to lunch and come back to find this.

A day after four of Sen. John McCain’s top political strategists stepped down, the Arizona Republican’s presidential campaign was dealt another setback when the co-chairman of his Florida campaign was arrested Wednesday for allegedly offering an undercover police officer money for a sex act, Titusville police said.

     I dunno if the DNC is using all their political contributions to hire pavement princesses to snare the support staff of all the GOP Presidential candidates, but if they're not, they should because that apparently works real good. 
     The Florida co-chairman said it was all a "very gross mistake, a very big mistake." 
     Gross?  Well, yeah. 
     Mistake?  Of course.  He was asking her if she'd give him sled.  You know, to play in the Florida snow.  Yep.  Happens all the time. 

     See Mary's email below.  I was wrong, wrong, wrong about the Florida co-chairman.  


I believe the correct spelling is "nekkid."

You're welcome.


Dear Barbara,

That's how it's spelled and pronouced in Georgia and there's nothing wrong with that.  However, in Texas it's pronounced nay'-kid.  It's a two syllable word in Texas, as in "he was as nay'-kid as a plucked chicken."  Neither of these words is proper at church.  At church, you say "he was barefoot all over." 


Susan,  honey

Ya have to correct the last paragraph in your report on the guy from Florida.  It seems he didn't solicit "her".  He solicited  "he".  And McCain's guy wasn't looking to get a "sled",  he wanted to play Santa and give the "sled".

I know this is hard to believe, but it comes from Faux so you know it has to be true.

After all the rain, the flowers are bloomin!!




July 12 - Oh lookie here.  (Italics mine, totally mine.)

In a broadly worded legal opinion, the Justice Department has concluded that President Bush's former top lawyer, and possibly other senior White House officials, can ignore subpoenas from Congress to testify about the firings of U.S. attorneys.

The opinion was prepared this week by the department's Office of Legal Counsel, in response to questions from former White House Counsel Harriet E. Miers, who was subpoenaed to testify today before the House Judiciary Committee.  The Office of Legal Council consists of six graduates of Our Lady of Perpetual Virginity Bible and Law School who are just ecstatic over having a job in what they describe as "something to do with the Constitution and other super cool things." 

The report, marked with the traditional stains from Karl's Rove's coffee mug, will be presented to the committee by 19 year old home law-schooled Tiffany Frontage.  Ms. Frontage is well-known in Washington legal circles for her landmark interpretation of the Third Amendment as meaning that "you can't sleep with a soldier until this Iraq thing is over." 

Presidential spokesman Karl Rove is denying claims by Capitol Hill Democrats that the entire Office of Legal Council is being run by interns who flunked out of their first year of law school.  Rove vehemently denies these charges, offering evidence of that the majority of them did not flunk out until the second year.

July 11 - All Texas women feel a sense of loss tonight over one who set the standard for us all --



     God Bless Lady Bird Johnson.




In traveling the country and seeing the wildflowers  native to the area in state after state I can think of no better fitting tribute to this Lady.  Not only have her efforts made the highways more beautiful and varied but it saved State after State money in grass mowing costs  and energy resources with the reduction in mowing.  Its served as an education to the native flowers in the area, and a bright spot on a usually dull long distance drive.

  I can think of no better  example of leaving a place better than when you found it.

  The only thing left to do is to let the younger generation understand that these flowers on the highway are the direct result of Lady Bird’s efforts and didn’t just happen.  They need to see these fields of flowers as a true memorial to this Lady.

 Rest in peace Lady Bird, may you be well rewarded for the good you did. 


July 11 - Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff told the Chicago Tribune's editorial board his "gut feeling" was that the United States faced an increased risk of attack this summer.
     Gut feeling?  What is this - Bald Guy Intuition?  We're depending on a guy who uses gut feelings?  Horoscopes didn't work well enough for him?  His Magic 8 Ball broke? 
     Okay, I have some gut feelings, too.  Wanna know my guts feelings?

1.  Michael Chertoff is an incompetent twit who knows something is going to happen, but is torn between his misplaced loyalty to Bush and his primal need to always be able to say "I told you so." 


2.  Michael Chertoff is an incompetent twit who gets frisky while looking at Abu Ghraib photos.

or maybe

3.  Michael Chertoff is an incompetent twit who thinks reality is just a collective hunch.

July 11 - Our friend Carol (from Austin who moved to Vermont) sent us a picture of the "pot" at the end of a rainbow.

     Yep, I've chased rainbows like that.  Like dreaming that this Democratic Congress would do something about the war, or that county commissioners are capable of being embarrassed.  Those dreams got poop-canned, too.

July 10 - Well, well, well, it looks like Congressvarmint Ted Poe is following in Tom DeLay’s footsteps.  Here’s a 14 page report from the FEC on Ted’s violations of campaign election laws.  Honey, Ted’s got troubles that a seven buggy prayer meeting couldn’t fix.
     The report says, among other things, that Poe “materially misstated receipts, disbursements, and the ending cash balances for the calendar years 2003 and 2004,” and “did not properly disclose the receipt of net proceeds from joint fundraising activity with the 2004 Joint Candidate Committee II and the Team Texas Committee.” 
     And Harvey Kronberg at the Quorum Report adds this-

The vast majority of the discrepancy was due to both the underreporting of money coming into the campaign account and the underreporting of campaign committee expenditures in 2004. The report states that the committee did not report $84,397 in individual contributions and underreported contributions from PACs by $15,115.

Meanwhile, his campaign committee did not report $316,621 in expenses. That total was partially offset by $71,738 in expenses that were double reported and another $43,800 in expenses that were reported but could not be verified in bank records.

     The FEC will be meeting this Thursday to decide what to do about it

     I guess this would be as good a time as any to tell you that the ethics complaint I filed against Bob Hebert was not the only one I filed.  I also filed six complaints against Commissioner Andy Meyers.  The investigation is still pending.  I will keep you informed.  All this is to remind you that new ethics reports are due next Monday and I’ll get them scanned and up for your viewing pleasure as soon as I can. 

July 10 - Okay, tell me I'm not your favorite website on all the internets.  Go ahead, tell me.

A searchable database of the DeeCee Madam's phone records.

     You're very welcome.  Please let me know what you find.

Dear Susan,
  You wanted to know what I found.
  My number is not in the list.  Not this one, not the one that used to be used for dial-up.  None of the mobile phone numbers.  Not the old phone numbers from the past.  I'm not in there.

But I did find this in my garden


Dear dga,

Nobody likes a smart aleck.

Well, except me.


Good morning.

In a story noted overnight the New Orleans Times-Picayune included the following paragraph on the current scandal Senator Vitter (R-LA) is going through courtesy of the DC Madam:

"U.S. Senator David Vitter visited a Canal Street brothel several times beginning in the mid-1990s, paying $300 per hour for services at the bordello after he met the madam at a fishing rodeo that included prostitutes and other politicians, according to Jeanette Maier, the "Canal Street Madam" whose operation was shut down by a federal investigators in 2001."  Source

Shouldn't that story more properly read as "politicians and other prostitutes"?

Even bigger question.  What's a fish rodeo?  The images that come to mind are just too much.  Do they bulldog a fish, and if so, just how do you grab ahold of one of them critters?  Do you ride into the arena on a seahorse?  I wanna see the rodeo clown for the fish rodeo or in this case was the rodeo clown a politician?  Do the women at a fish rodeo still do barrel racing?  These and other questions just boggle the mind.


July 10 - Now that Tom DeLay is gone, turns out that lots of Republicans are willing to say, "I always hated that guy, always . . . ."
     From Roll Call (subscription only) about a spat between Tom DeLay and Tom Tancredo:

DeLay gave a tongue-lashing to the Colorado Republican during the 2004 election cycle after Tancredo supported primary opponents against two of his GOP colleagues, then-Rep. Jim Kolbe (Ariz.) and Rep. Chris Cannon (Utah), because of their decidedly more moderate views on immigration.

“Ooh, doggies!” Tancredo told the New Republic in March 2005, “[Tom] DeLay called me in and said, ‘You’re finished, kaput. You cannot think of making a career in this place!’”

     Roll Call tells us who won that fight by commenting .....

These days DeLay is fighting an indictment by a Texas grand jury and Tancredo is on the campaign trail for the White House.


    Poor ole DeLay, it's gotta hurt bad to lose a fight to this guy.  Yep, that's Tancredo, on one of his better days, trying to imitate Mission Accomplished.


July 9 - This is just creepy.
     Mitt Romney was giving a speech to Young Republicans (who ought to be in Iraq but would rather cover the homefront in the brutal fight against mega-millions  inheritance tax), and said this crapola ---

''People will give up half a day's salary to get a Coca-Cola in some parts of the world. We market Coke well. We market McDonald's well. We market our rap music, our movies, our jeans,'' Romney said. ''We market everything America sells brilliantly, but when it comes to marketing ourselves and what we stand for, we don't do a very good job of it.''

     Market ourselves well?  Holy Independence Document Signing, what the fool tarnation would Thomas Jefferson say about that?  Mitt Romney thinks we need to market our country like Coca-Cola?  Oh, that’s just great – a new foreign policy. 
     If it’s all the same to you, Mitt, I’d rather America be good enough not to need marketing.  The mess we’re in is not a marketing problem; it’s a governing problem.

July 9 - Nobody likes lawyers until they really, really need one.

A Houston-area woman filed a lawsuit against a porn star, claiming she stole her name, KPRC Local 2 reported Sunday.

Lara Madden, 25, is an actress in the pornography industry. She is a former Houstonian who has appeared in about a dozen X-rated movies under the stage name "Syvette Wimberly."

That's the problem.

The real Syvette Wimberly was one of Madden's classmates at Kingwood High School. The women knew each other in the ninth grade.

     Look, Lara, if ya wanna be a porn star, pick a good name like Hub Caps or Betty Sue Boozer or - my personal favorite - Misty Summer Knight.  No kidding, a knew a girl whose parents named her that.  They should have given her some spike high heels with clear heels at the same time.

Hey Susan,

I have some alternate stripper names:  Alas, Candy Barr is taken. How's about Peppermint Shtick?


On porn star names.  There supposedly was a female student at SWT named Uwanna Moore.  Now that would have been a great blue screen name.

Have a great day.


July 9 -   When County Judge Bob Hebert says something is a “no brainer,” that means he doesn’t understand it, or, in the alternative, he doesn’t want you to understand it.   Just thought you’d want to file that somewhere in your head CD because you’ll be needing it later, I am certain of that.  “No brainer” is one of his favorite terms. 
     Once again, our commissioners court is spending a ten dollar bill to save a nickel
     Rule #1: politicians rarely, if ever, think beyond their term in office.   
     Corollary to Rule #1: the guys on our commissioners  court are old geezers and have one election ahead of them, at best.  No, seriously, there’s not one of them who should be buying green bananas.
     So, they’ve up and decided that they should steal an existing levee district, appoint their friends to it, and turn us in New Orleans.  They want to build a levee from here to further away than you can point.
     They say it’s a “no brainer” because it saves us from having to build a levee for the proposed new “Justice Center" they   want to build.  Well, hold on there, Matlock.  How ‘bout we don’t build that wasteful and unnecessary Law Palace in the first place?    
     The Justice Center (The Law Palace) is like the new jail – we don’t need it.  These boys just want to see their tombstones before they die by putting their names on bronze plaques at the buildings. 
     Plus, there’s major campaign donations to be had on this deal.  It involves law and engineering firms –county contracts that do not go out for bids.  We’re talking tens of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions.   Commissioners will get enough tax-free money to burn a wet elephant off this deal.  You and me?  Well, we get the bill.  And probably pretty wet come the next hurricane.
     And answer me one more question that no one seems to be asking – why is all this development good?  Should we really encourage people to live in the floodplain right next to a coal plant?  Would commissioners want their grandchildren to live here
     Is it really a good idea to have people living on the “wrong” side of the tracks that have a gazillion trainloads a day going to the coal plant?  What if they need emergency services?  The cost of building train overpasses would make Neiman Marcus look like a discount store. 
     I just wish our county commissioners would think beyond their noses.  No wait, I mean beyond their wallets.  I would hate to have to start calling them Whore Court because that would upset Momma.  
     No brainer, my patootie. 

July 8 - TK sends us this blog link about one of the school districts in Fort Bend County. 
     If they could expel you for those types of behavior in my junior high school, I'd still be in junior high school.
     Shelby needs to spend the next month cleaning the gym walls after school.  Goodness Sake, she's in sixth grade!  It's punishment enough that now everybody knows she has parents and crush on Alex.  Do you know how much impulse control a 12 year old girl has?  None.  That's how much. 
     The people in charge of this one need to holster their gun and take a few deep breaths.  Katy ISD is making a name for themselves as being un pequito loco.

July 8 - In the "Thanks for the News Flash, Sherlock" Department, today's Wall Street Journal (subscription only) says that the Texas GOP is in trouble. 

SAN ANTONIO, Texas -- In 1994 George W. Bush delivered the coup de graçe for the Republican revolution in Texas by defeating incumbent Gov. Ann Richards. The GOP then went on to complete its ascendancy in the state.

But is Texas now slipping away from the GOP? The answer is more than a little surprising, and it's not just because of the president's sagging approval ratings.

Democrats haven't won a statewide contest since 1994, and Republicans hold comfortable majorities in the state House and Senate. Both U.S. senators are Republicans. And even with the loss of two tight congressional races ...

     Between George Bush, Tom Craddick, Tom DeLay, and John Cornyn, it's flat out amazing that anybody is willing to call themselves a Republican in Texas.  And, even those few who do are fighting with each other.  It's a beautiful sight.  Beautiful, I tell you! 

July 7 - Extremely rare personal note:  Deb, I only have an email address for you and you're not answering it.  Let me know you're okay.

July 7 - Our friend Alfredo points us to a fox / henhouse situation that's amazing even for Texas.
     PBS&J, the Florida conglomerate that has been ripping off taxpayers across the county, has two of its employees on the finalists list for director of the controversial North Texas Tollway Authority.

The North Texas Tollway Authority named five finalists Friday in its search for a new executive director.

The announcement comes at a pivotal time for the NTTA, which will lean on its new director to help it mend fences after a bruising campaign to win the lucrative State Highway 121 toll road project.

The five candidates are:

•Rick Herrington, interim deputy executive director at NTTA. He recently spent two years at the private engineering consulting firm HNTB Inc.

William Dillon, an engineer and a national manager for professional services firm PBS&J. He is a former employee of the Texas Department of Transportation.

Jorge Figueredo, who is responsible for PBS&J's toll road business in the central United States, including Texas.

•Stephen McCullough, who was Irving city manager for 12 years. He is now a principal at Dallas-based Public Werks Inc., an investment firm that focuses on public infrastructure construction.

•Douglas Wiersig, an engineer and transportation programs manager for Jacobs Engineering in Houston. He previously worked in transportation for the city of Houston.

     What a great business strategy - place your people in the government so they can just send you work without all that annoying paperwork and "in the public interest" stuff. 
     Okay, it's bad enough that Republicans are privatizing our roads, but do they have to do it with the company famous for political kickbacks and overcharging the taxpayers?  Oh wait, I think that's in the GOP National Platform.

July 7 - Well, now he's hacked them ALL off with one column - Mayor David Wallace, Councilman Russell Jones, newspaper editors, people with magnifying glasses, and most of the populace of Sugar Land.  And he proves my theory once again that Sugar Land is the birth star of all petty politics.
     Well damn done, Dunn.

July 6 - Steve, who tells a good story at all times, tell an especially good one about his Fourth of July.  Fun reading on a rainy weekend.

July 6 - Well, rats!  The Democratic Club I belong to never has any fun compared to these guys.

A golf outing for local Democrats left some participants embarrassed after they found out strippers were handing out drinks at the event.

One participant said he saw a woman flash a group of golfers. Others at the fundraiser for the Lucas County Democratic Party said they didn't see any inappropriate acts.

"When the word got out that these girls are strippers, it gave the party a black eye," said Clerk of Courts Bernie Quilter. "Every elected official out there was embarrassed."

Quilter said he did not see any improper behavior.

     Personally, I don't think it ever happened.  I think they made it up for a membership drive.

July 6 - Okay, I have to show you something.
      Last year, Bubba’s Momma passed away at 96 years old still living in her house on her own and giving Republicans hell.  Bubba’s Momma never threw anything away, so for the past year, Bubba has been going through her stuff and carefully finding new homes for it all. 
      Bubba found something I want to share with you. 
      This is a booklet from Bubba’s college days.  It has one of his roommates’ name on it.  It was published by the Department of State in 1964 and is entitled, “Viet- Nam:  The Struggle for Freedom.”  It’s fascinating reading, because you suddenly realize that Bush just substituted the word “Iraq” in old Viet-Nam propaganda and got himself a foreign policy.  No joke.
      The pamphlet is 31 pages long and I’ll probably get around to scanning it all and putting it in PDF format just to allow you to sit around with your mouth hanging open as you read.
      For now, I’ve scanned one little part for you to see.  The pamphlet is in Q and A format and this Q and A on page 5 caught my eye.  Apparently, it caught the eye of a clairvoyant back in 1964 because someone put a star in blue ballpoint pen above it.
      You know the drill.  Click the little one to get the big one. 

     Change “Viet-Nam” to Iraq, “Southeast Asia” to Middle East and, "Communists" to Islamic Extremists and  … ta da! … you’ve got Return of the Son of Quagmire.  
      Stunning, isn't it?  I bet that there's a dog eared copy of this pamphlet in  Dick Cheney's bottom desk drawer.                  
      I’ll let you know if Bubba finds any more cool stuff or secret government plots. 

July 5 - And you thought propositioning an undercover cop for $35 hoochy-koochy and having an illegal firearm would end his political career?  Oh, not in Texas ....


Misdemeanor charges stem from Nixon's alleged initial refusal to accept ballot applications in local water district election

We reprint the Attorney General's press release:

A Panola County grand jury charged former State Sen. Drew Nixon, 47, with illegally committing acts of official oppression prior to the 2006 local election. The two-count indictment, which was unsealed today, stems from an investigation by the office of Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott.

     Harvey Kronberg (subscription only) has the full story.  The full story, of course, involves lies and dirty dealings with elections.
     And who said Republicans never have any fun?

July 5 - Oh Sweet Jesus, have mercy on us.  Dean Hrbacek has built himself a Wiki.  You better go get a copy downloaded before somebody scribbles all over it. 
     Honey, this sucker will be the punch line to jokes for years to come.  "And then I saw Dean's Wiki!" 
     By the way, for you outta towners - Dean has exceeded the legal limits for self-inflicted horn tooting in seven Texas counties and three major nations. 
     Wiki Dean spends an unseemly amount of time bashing Bev Carter, and completely left out the Elite Skating School and the Sugar Fest.  Shame on you, Wiki Dean.
     By the way, Jon Matthews was not the first person to call him Osama.  Another columnist did it first (ahem, ahem) and phrased it Osama bin Hrbacek.  He didn't sue her because she bites back. 
     I guess nobody bothered to tell Dean that anyone can re-write or edit a wiki.  Dean, bless your heart, you might as well have painted a target on your butt. 

July 5 - Earl's got a bee in pant's leg this morning.


Here's a surprising item about Bush endorsing the sentence of a 24-year Marine veteran for the same crime as Scooter.  I guess the Marine wasn't "connected":

Say, you know what Old Timers in the county used to call "flood insurance?"  An extra tier of cement blocks under your house.


July 5 - Reason #476 why we need campaign finance reform:  
     In letter to FEC, ARMPAC claims it doesn't have any money, and doesn't have to repay $90,000 in illegal soft money contributions uncovered in FEC audit.
     They took illegal money, spent it, and are now claiming they don't have to repay it.  I guess they got themselves one of them there commutation things. 
     Tom DeLay needs to be tough and crime and pay some restitution for ARMPAC. 
I mean, as of last week, the man still has his own fancy "wine locker" at Perry's Steakhouse in Sugar Land.  Heck,  he's probably got $90,000 worth of wine stashed in there. 
     No, seriously, it's right by the front door.  Tom DeLay has got himself a custom-made wooden box emblazoned with his name on a gold plate.  They've got it locked behind glass so I didn't get a chance to grab a couple of bottles of Merlot just to hack him off.
     I tried saying, "Waiter, I'll have a bottle of Mr. DeLay's finest," but the waiter just smiled at me.  He slyly told us that a lot of people comment about it.  I'll bet they do. 
     To tell you the truth, I've never understood why restaurants have "wine lockers."  If you can't leave home without your wine, you've got a problem.  I go to restaurants to drink their wine, not mine.  If I wanted my wine, I'd stay at home.  Plus, look at it this way:  wine locker, wino bag, wine locker, wino bag ... I dunno, seems like there's not much difference.

July 4 - For those of you on the other side of the county, here's The Brazos River at Richmond.

And it's moving along at a pretty good little clip, too.

     Now, I'm not saying that you should build an ark, but you might want to check and make sure that nobody else is.

July 4 - Our friend David sent us this great website called Insanely Useful Websites.

The following sites and resources are “insanely useful Web sites” for government transparency. They provide a broad range of information available to track government and legislative information, campaign contributions and the role of money in politics.

Many of these resources apply the Web 2.0 ethos to sift, share and combine this information in innovative ways – often times by mashing data together from disparate sources to maximize the usability of that information.

     It's blogger heaven, and political junkie paradise. Thanks, David!

July 4 - Happy Fourth of July!
     Thanks to Tom Toles for writing, "They're all Scooters now."

We all have our pet names for Republican party members. I can't call them republicans because the definition of a Republic is anything not a monarchy. It's an old definition but when it was coined that's all there was, Monarchy. That means a KING for those of you slept through History class. The present group that calls itself "republican" is anything but. They are Feudal Royalist and the Libby situation proves it. He will be pardoned, because in the Bush world personal loyalty is the only standard just like in the days of bad old King John when my namesake was legendary.


At 8:35 p.m., Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) became the first member of the Senate GOP leadership to make a statement on the matter, defending the action but using Libby's pardon to take up another cause celebre among conservatives -- the case of Border Patrol agents Ignacio "Nacho" Ramos and Jose "Alonso" Compean, who were sentenced to 11 and 12 years, respectively, for shooting a fleeing drug runner and then covering it up. This is the equivalent of saying thanks, Mr. President, but that's not good enough: "I hope he will give the same consideration to the cases of Border Patrol agents Ramos and Compeon."

Notice how Cornyn tries to deflect attention from Libby?  You're totally right, Cornyn has to go.

Hopefully not only his voting record but his ties to Ralph Reed while will come out in the campaign.

Sam from Pearland

July 3 - Okay, so a lot of you guys from outta state have been emailing me asking about the rain. Well, it's raining high, low, and little poodle puppies. 
     Down here, we call this a "clear-up rain," cause The River comes clear-up to your back door.
     It's been raining pretty solid for a week and lookie what's on the radar moving north this morning.

     I've got me a fine crop of mildew in the backyard.  Maybe I can crate it and sell it to the Chinese. 
     As my Daddy used to say, "If it rains anymore, we're gonna have to jump in swimming pool to keep from drowning." 
     If you want to watch the progress, check zip code 77469 on your weather report.  Or watch Bob's reports.  We're not expecting flooding, but Bob lives on the The River and has some cool pictures. 
     I think I need to explain something something here.  When I say The River, I mean The Brazos River.  As are most things in Texas, it's not pronounced like it's spelled.  It's not BRA-zos, as you'd suspect.  It's pronounced Brazz-UHS.  That's how we know you're not from around here.

July 3 - I think John Edwards nailed it yesterday when he said of George Bush, "He's clinically incapable of understanding that mistakes have consequences." 
     Fort Bend County's own Paul Belgala has some strong words, too.

Mr. Bush and his partner in crime, Dick Cheney, believe they are above the law. The commutation of Libby confirms the belief that Mr. Libby lied to the FBI, perjured himself to the grand jury, and obstructed a federal criminal investigation in order to cover up the role Bush and Cheney played in smearing Joe Wilson and ruining the career of his CIA operative wife.

     I think it's furtherance of the obstruction of justice.  Bush is buying Scooter's silence. 
     But, Bush hasn't romped with an intern in the Oval Office so he can continue to not face consequences.  Good Lord, his poll ratings are lower than a mole's belly button on diggin' day, so what's he got to lose?
     If the Democrats in Congress don't huddle-up and see if they can't find some cajones in a jar somewhere, then I'm all over them, too. 

     By the way, when Clinton pardoned Marc Rich, I publicly said it was wrong, wrong, double dog wrong.  Let's see how many Republicans will put down Rush's kool-aide long enough to say this was wrong, too.
     I'll bet the pickin's will be powerful slim. 

He's just carrying on the family tradition of rewarding Grand Jury perjury by party loyalists.  This makes me wonder what Bush has in mind (bad choice of words for him) to keep Rove, Cheney, etal immune from prosecution after he slinks out of the White House. Some kind of blanket immunity?  If it gets to this Supreme Court you know they'll find it Constitutional.

Sam in Pearland

July 2 - Bless Scooter Libby's heart - he's got low friends in high places

President Bush Monday spared former vice presidential aide Lewis "Scooter" Libby from going to prison for 2 1/2 years for obstructing the CIA leak investigation, a White House official said.

The official said Bush "has commuted the prison sentence ... leaving intact the probation and fines handed down by the court."

"That means he is not going to jail," the official said.

     Well, I guess that's enough to keep him quiet.  The pardon will come later, I'm sure.
     So much for the most ethical administration in history. 

July 2 - Well, Bubba’s made up his mind, and I have, too.
     The most important race in Texas this election season is to replace John “Box Turtle” Cornyn in the United States Senate.  The best person to do that is Rick Noriega.  Bubba tells it  …..   

Rick Noriega grew up in a working class neighborhood on the east side of Houston. He achieved a Master’s Degree from Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Public Affairs. He is a dedicated husband and father. Rick and Melissa’s commitment to public life is not about the pursuit of wealth and power, but a moral and spiritual commitment to public service. Rick has been a loyal soldier, dedicated legislator, and a compassionate public administrator.

Picture the stark contrast with the incumbent. While John Cornyn politicized 9-11 for partisan political advantage, Lt. Col. Rick Noriega stared down Afghan war lords and helped train Afghan soldiers to fight the Taliban. Further, Lt. Col. Noriega knows the difference between the fight to rid the world of Bin Laden and being bogged down in a deadly civil war in Iraq.

     We need ten new Democratic seats in the Senate and Cornyn is the most vulnerable of all the sitting Republicans.  Democrats in Texas can afford to lose a few congressmen, but we absolutely must elect a Senator – not just for Texas’s sake, but for the whole country. 
     Rick Noriega knows how to win.  He’s done it over and over and over again. 
     I have never actually endorsed a candidate on my website before now.  This time is different.  This time it really, really matters

July 2 - Don't ever tell me that irony is dead
     Got his anchor stuck in mud and his gas pedal floored in neutral.

July 1 - My long-time Democratic friend Maureen O’Brien from Albany, New York, is pedaling in the two day Pan-Mass Challenge bike ride, benefiting cancer research.  She’s even got a blog going about her training.  She’s raising money for the Dana Farber Cancer Institute at Harvard.
     This is not Maureen’s first time to do a marathon bike ride.  She ain’t got no slack in her rope and she don’t believe in breathing spells either.  She’s doing the long two-day ride in August. 
     Maureen is one of the founders of the Robert F. Kennedy Democratic Club of Albany, New York, and a sassy little tart if ever you’ve met one.  So, if you’ve got an extra five or a ten sitting around looking for a good home, please consider joining me to help Maureen raise money for cancer research.  Click on this sucker right here to donate – and you might consider donating in Molly Ivins name. 
     If you’d rather send a check, email me for instructions.  Maureen needs to raise $3,600 so every little bit helps.

July 1 - Earl sent us this story, but says I need to warn folks, "PUUUHLEASE don't try this at home!"
     It's a great Fourth of July story for everyone who has ever had a really crazy uncle.  That's all of us.  Enjoy!

July 1 - We get email from Kingwood.  (For you people from foreign states, that's about an hour and half north of here.  I occasionally get an invitation to go speak there and I always go because there's some good people in Kingwood, Stace being just one of them.  Last time I went, I shocked the poop outta four little old ladies who couldn't believe I was telling ta-ta jokes at a country club. Nope, I ain't cleaning up my act just because there's linen on the table. By the way, John says that Kingwood requires three stickers on your car:  Aggie, Jesus, and W.  John ain't wrong; it's the law.)


I love your column/blog.  I was wondering if all of y'all in Delay Country were kin, but then I found your refreshing wit and am hooked.  I'm reminded of your post the other day to make the Bush library a bookmobile.  Here is a story requesting ideas for the library.

Kingwood TX

Good morning, Susan!

We were all proudly told by SMU that the architectural model for the campus was the University of Virginia's buildings designed by Thomas Jefferson. I neither know or care who winds up with the contract to design the stationary bookmobile. However, I do think the least they could do is to commission a weeping statue/fountain. My contribution will be the motor to pump the water that would run from Mr. Jefferson's eyes. Anything for my Alma Mater!
PS: I now regret that I crapped out on my Master of Arts degree - I'd love to have another diploma to return.
Your friend up the hill

Bush Library?  There are probably a couple of pictures worth a laugh right here. Some are pretty vulgar, though, so proceed with caution.

Dr. Doyle



Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district.  It's crazy here.  No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans.  They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber. 

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog.  Blogs are way too trendy for me.  I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't. 

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.