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December, 2006
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And a big
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Campaign finance reports
 

Bob Hebert
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All my county documents can
be found here.

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August 31 - Oilmen: they make a snake look cuddly.
     Oilman Oscar Wyatt is going to need an offshore platform for the hole he's dug for himself. 

A jury can see an Iraqi document that suggests Houston oilman Oscar Wyatt discussed American troop levels and possible dates for an attack with a member of Saddam Hussein's regime before the U.S.-led invasion in 2003, a federal judge ruled Thursday.

Wyatt, 83, is scheduled to stand trial starting next week on criminal charges that he funneled millions of dollars in illegal payments to Saddam's government in order to win lucrative oil export contracts under the United Nations' Oil-for-Food program.

     Wyatt's major sin, however, appears to be that he wasn't close enough friends with the Bushes or the Cheneys.  And, he's standing trial for it.

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August 30 - Thanks to a suggestion from Hank, I'm putting all the documents I collect and scan on one page.  I put a link to it on the left hand side of this page. 
     I'm not real organized, so please let me know if I've missed any.

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August 30 - No, I'm serious.  Tom DeLay comments to Matt Lauer about the Larry Craig sex scandal. 
     Hey, it wasn't in a hot tub! 
     Tom blames the Democrats and the media. He contends that when Republicans have someone breaking the law, they do something about it.  Yeah, like Karl Rove and Dick Cheney.
     You know, I'm getting really sick of Tom DeLay talking about how his family has suffered.  His wife and daughter made a cool million dollars off his political ploys, and he doesn't speak to the rest of his family and hasn't in years.  Somebody needs to remind him of that on teevee so I can see his reaction to reality.

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August 30 - You know the best thing about being a woman?  If another woman taps her foot in the bathroom stall, it's because she wants you to notice her shoes.

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August 30 - Well, it appears that Mike Gallagher of Townhall better prepare himself. 
     Those chills up his spine about the Texas GOP straw vote this weekend in Ft. Worth might actually be icicles. 

Another prominent Republican presidential candidate is pulling out of the Texas straw poll: former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, who finished a surprising second in the Iowa straw poll.

"The governor will not be participating in the [Texas] straw poll due to a scheduling conflict," spokeswoman Alice Stewart said Wednesday.

     Well, who IS going to show up?

That leaves U.S. Reps. Ron Paul of Surfside and Duncan Hunter of California, Ray McKinney, John Cox and Hugh Cort as the candidates planning to show up at the Fort Worth Convention Center this weekend.

     But, wait, it gets better  …..

While Republican Party faithful are casting ballots inside the convention center Saturday, anti-war activists will be holding a fair outside with musicians, performers, children's games and even hot dogs for sale. Their goal is to conduct a poll to show that Americans want the troops brought home from Iraq.

     Yep.  There’s gonna be a party.  And I’ll bet there will be more people at the party than at the straw vote. 
     By the way, it costs $50 to be part of this straw vote, $75 if you show up at the door.  If you just come with someone and don’t vote, then it’s just $25. 
     On the other hand, the party appears to be free.  Now, that should send chills up your spine, my friend.

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August 29 - Dave sent us a cool website we need to bookmark for this election season:  right about here. 
     It's gonna fact-check the Presidential candidates.  It's from the St. Petersburg Times and Congressional Quarterly so it's legit. 

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August 29 - The race for County Commissioner Precinct 1 Tom Stavinoha’s (rhymes with Krakatoa) seat is becoming hotly contested.  As well it should be.  Tom is as worthless as a four card flush.
     However, it’s becoming a dream race for people who love comedy in their politics.  He’s already got two GOP primary opponents and more are on the horizon.  They can smell blood.  Most of them couldn’t spell it even if you spotted them three letters, but dammit they can smell it. 
     Greg Ordeneaux is selling his tax collection business to run.  Oh just what we need, a Republican already trained in taking our money.  Ordeneaux has no idea why he’s running, saying of his incumbent opponent, “I can’t put my finger on a particular issue, but I do kind of question the whole county government’s service to the people…”
     That’s like saying, “I don’t know, I just don’t like the guy.  And some days I just question this whole gravity thing, too.”
     You wanna hear cold?  Stavinoha appoints this Ordeneaux dude to the Toll Road Authority and the dude uses that as a springboard to run against Stavinoha.  Good Lord, can you even imagine how much kickback “campaign contributions” money Ordeneaux could finagle out of vendors with that kind of street cred for vicious?
     And then we’ve got Jack Molho running, a man with more baggage than the American Airlines claim room. 
     Verdelia is calling it the battle of the vowels:  Stavinoha, Molho, and Ordeneaux.  She’s gonna enter as the one-name candidate: Verdelia.  Kinda like Madonna.  ‘Cept older. 

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August 28 - Oh goody!  It works!

     Oh Sweet Heavens, he got stuck in an elevator for an hour with Rodrigo Carrion.  I'd like to apologize to Judge Kennedy and the pregnant lady.  I'll try to be more specific next time.
     (For you folks from outta town, Rodrigo is quite the chatterbox and he's not ... well, let's just say that he's not close friends with Mr. Hygiene.) 

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August 28 - Okay, I haven’t said a whole lot about this because I’ve said before that the more obsessed Republican woman get with other people’s hoochy-koochy, the more their men get caught doing really kinky stuff.      
     Republican women should go home and do some kinky stuff.  I’m serious.  They’d be better people for it. 
     Here’s the deal with Senator Larry Craig.  The guy plead guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in a bathroom, but swears up and down that he’s not gay.  Look, you know what he was doing in that bathroom.  It wasn’t like he was squirting soap on people or rolling out all the paper towels and making airplanes out of them. 
     Okay, so maybe he’s not gay.  Maybe he just likes to act gay. 
     Now he’s saying that he "overreacted and made a poor decision" when he plead guilty. He needs to leave the Senate not because he’s gay, but because his guitar ain’t tuned right. 

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August 28 - Yep, Ted Nugent is mentally disturbed.  Sean Hannity, on the other hand, is just batcrap nuts.  See for yourself.

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August 27 - Wanna hear the greatest conspiracy theory ever?
     Everybody’s been wondering why Texas Governor Rick Perry is raising money for his campaign while he already has $1.3 million in his warchest.
     I’ve got a theory.  It’s just a playful little theory. 
     What if Bush appoints beleaguered Texas Senator John Cornyn to the open Attorney General spot?  Cornyn’s been attorney general before, albeit a bad one in Texas, but being good at anything seems to disqualify you from the Bush cabinet. 
     Cornyn is lagging behind in all the polls for his reelection in 2008.  It’s highly likely that he’ll get beat so bad that his grandchildren will be born shaking. 
     The Senate would be likely to approve one of their own, no?
     So, then Governor Rick Perry appoints himself to the Senate and will run in Cornyn’s stead with a fresh start, and Dewhurst becomes Governor. 
     Nah.  It’s too neat a little package.

UPDATE:  Well, maybe Perry has other plans ---

In a development not yet made public, knowledgeable Republicans say that Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) is likely to take over the Republican Governors Association in 2008. The move is significant because RGA Vice Chairman Matt Blunt (R) has been in line to become chairman next year. Governor Blunt is the son of U.S. House Minority Whip Roy Blunt (R).

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August 27 - Oh yummy in my tummy!  Somebody alert Paula Deen!  Granny Geek tells us how to eat our way through the State Fair of Texas.

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August 27 - As promised, I now have County Judge Bob Hebert's expense report for his trip to New Orleans for a couple of days at the National Hurricane Conference. 
     I don't have a problem with Big Bob  going to a hurricane conference - if only for a couple of days, but his reimbursement bills are kinda funny.
     Click here and it will open in PDF format.  It's clear and easy to read, thanks to Dave.
     Best I can figure, Bob's little trip cost us about $2,100, adding in airfare and conference registration.  And that's  for only one full day at the conference.
     First, check page 11 for his food receipt.  Contrary to all good accounting practices, there's no original receipt.  Bob just typed his supposed bill on a piece of paper.  Page 10 of the report explains that a special order of Commissioner's Court was put on the agenda to pay Bob $112 ($56 a day) for his food, even if he didn't have receipts.  Try that little trick if you're a county employee without a receipt, or you want to keep your receipt secret. 
     Interestingly, Bob's airplane touched down noonish on Wednesday, but he managed to spend $135.52 plus a $24 tip at Jazz's Casino Restaurant (that's Harrah's Casino Restaurant) that very night.  Counting the wait for his luggage, the drive from the airport (yeah, he rented a car again), checking into the hotel, getting settled in the hotel room, and then finding the durn conference, that pretty well shoots the whole afternoon.
     The next night, Thursday, Bob dined at Commander's Palace for $137 and $20 tip.
     The last day, Friday, his airplane took off at noon.  Hey, show up, eat, gamble a little, and then get the heck outta Dodge. 
     He also had some special requests for his room at the Hilton Riverside.  He wanted "non-smoking, king sized bed, high floor, and near the elevator."  Well, I suspect so, what with eating a $135 meal two nights in a row.
     So, basically, we spent $2,100 for Bob to spend one full day at a hurricane conference.  Remember that information the next time a Republican tells you they're conservative.

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August 26 - Our friend Mike says that Texas's own Ben Sargent got it perfect.  I agree.

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August 26 - My friend Rich in Kentucky has asked me to share this with my Texas friends ---

You haven't lived until you've heard lifelong Texas Republicans call Bush & Cheney "war criminals."

Not to imply that that's the only thing Bush and Cheney get called by some people who at one time voted for them. Good strong comments about lack of competence, intellect, attention span and general information also float around the pathetic spectral remnants of what some pundits used to call Bush's "aura of invincibility."

     I agree with Margie that our Democrats in Congress are lagging about fifty yards behind the American public.  You'd think they had a anvil in their pants. 
     It's time to separate the preachers from the chicken thieves and bring about the durn change we voted for last November.

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August 26 - UPDATE: The Dallas Morning News reports that the whole thing is a "dud."

While I was in Austin, Patrick sent me some delightful information.
     It seems that townhalldotcom is having a GOP "straw Presidential vote" in Ft. Worth on Labor Day weekend.  I have no idea why they're doing this when they opposed an early Presidential primary in Texas.
     But they have my full permission to in-fight some more. I don't think that the GOP in Texas is speaking to itself lately.  It's been in an awful snit with itself ever since it had to rip-off its W bumper stickers out of pure embarrassment and then have to explain Tom Craddick .... to Tom Craddick.
     Now, as if townhalldotcom ain't a insane asylum for people with a keyboard, imagine the entire far rightwing fringe of the GOP getting together in one place for a long weekend and arguing over which GOP Presidential candidate is just the damn crankiest. 
     But, what Patrick sent me is priceless.  You will love this.  The people at townhalldotcom are indignant, indignant I tell you, that Democrats are making fun of their little straw party.
     The Democratic county chair in Fort Worth, Art Brender, who I now have a crush on, did not afford them the proper seriousness they feel they've earned what with the serious mess they've made in the last 8 years.
     And the GOP is seriously hacked off about not getting respect. No, seriously.
     The Democratic county chair answered questions in the Fort Worth Star Telegram about the upcoming GOP Straw Fest.  To begin with, he called it "hot air balloon race."  And then he got wound-up ---

How many people do you think will show up and vote?

(Brender): That depends on how many Texans support the botched occupation of Iraq (the war was over in 2003); huge budget deficits; high gas prices; no-bid government contracts; and do not believe in evolution or stem-cell research.

What message do you think the straw poll will send?

(Brender): That the GOP will not take responsibility for the botched occupation of Iraq; corrupt no-bid contracts to Halliburton; high gas prices; failing air and water qualities; skyrocketing utility rates; and corrupt and failed regulation of student loans.

     Art Brender, I love yew.
     However, Townhall's columnist Mr. Mike Gallagher, who announces that the straw vote is "the kind of event that sends chills up my spine," is outraged at Art's needling.
     Okay, okay, we have to stop here.  If a worthless straw vote in Fort Worth Texas sends chills up somebody's spine, then it's truly time for a spine-check.  I imagine the Miss America vote would freeze his tail off.
     Anyway, Townhall's Gallagher, who takes himself seriously serious, responds thusly to my new best friend Art Brender ---

Do you believe that this man really thinks that Republicans in his state are a bunch of “corrupt” people who aren’t capable of taking responsibility for serious matters?

What a gross, reckless, insulting thing to say.

     Oh Lord, we cannot elect these people again.  They are not very bright.
     I know I'm carrying on far too long, but there's one more thing that Townhall's Gallagher said that's worth keeping in your heart this election season.
    He explains for three paragraphs that the Iowa straw vote is just flat silly and predictable because "the candidate who decides to spend the most money by bringing in as many supporters as they can afford will win."
     Then he says .....

But in Texas, it will be quite different. Instead of delegates who are bought and paid for (and I don’t mean that in a corrupt way), the Townhall.com Texas GOP Straw Poll is open to all Republicans who have previously attended a state or national convention.

     Okay, okay, how can you be bought and paid for in a non-corrupt way?  Is it like legalized prostitution in Nevada?  Is the GOP now officially a non-corrupt and legal whorehouse? 
     Oh, this is going to be a great election season.

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August 25 - Okay, Guys, I went off to the State Democratic Executive Committee Meeting in Austin and left my laptop in the other car. 
     Generally, you guys never know if I'm in town or outta here because a cell phone and a laptop can keep all kinds of secrets.
     IF you remember to take them.
     So, I have a slew emails to catch up on and some cool new stuff to upload but I need a day of rest after all the fun I had in Austin.
     As I've told you before, I really don't like you guys enough to work when I don't wanna.

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August 24 - Mickey lets us know that a "Bachelor of Arts in Humanities with a concentration in homemaking" is ours for the having from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

The BA in Humanities with a concentration in homemaking provides a solid foundation for life. The woman who completes this degree and concentration will be:

• Prepared spiritually – Through significant study of Scripture and theology, each woman will be prepared to be an evangelist and apologist focused upon reaching women, children and families for Christ.
• Challenged intellectually – Intensive instruction in the history of Western ideas will challenge each woman to be familiar with the influential people of our past and to give a response from a biblical worldview.
• Equipped practically–With four areas of focus, the homemaking concentration student will be equipped 

• To nurture and care for the family.
• In the area of nutrition and food preparation.
• By developing a skill in clothing and textile design.
• Through practical experiences for skill development for the most important job a woman may have: the nurture and care of the family.

     Mickey says, "You won't be hearing from me for a while. I'm going to enroll and work on an MA in Ironing and go on to a PhD in Burka Design!"
     I'm going to ask one of my gay friends to apply.

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August 24 - Because we don't have enough distractions while driving ----

Billboards along urban stretches of major highways could soon be converted to digital signs that are able to flash vivid new color images every eight seconds.

The Texas Transportation Commission approved proposed rules Thursday that are designed to end Texas' decades-long ban on digital billboards along interstates and other major roads. The signs would still be banned in rural areas.

     Big, giant teevee screens all over the highway with people driving 70 mph while talking on the cell phone, putting on lipstick, and whacking the kids in the backseat. 
     Why ban it in rural areas?  Hell, we'd think it was the drive-in picture show and park all over the Farm to Market roads to watch for free. 

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August 23 - My friends Al and Carol (two separate families), who moved to Vermont on me, keep pestering me to pack my bags and come to the Land of Ben and Jerry's and tasty maple syrup. 
     I dunno.
     I'm not saying this will play into my decision, but I'm also not saying it won't.  The last paragraph is a keeper!

BRATTLEBORO, Vt. (AP) -- Vermont's clothing-optional capital is stripping off its temporary ban on public nudity.

A month after passing the temporary ban, the Brattleboro Selectboard voted 3-2 on Tuesday to reject a proposed ordinance that would have made it permanent. When the emergency temporary ordinance expires next month, public nudity will no longer be illegal.

It's all about tolerance, one board member said.

''We in this country are going down a slippery slope these days,'' said Dora Bouboulis, noting a national newspaper recently published an article about the emergency ordinance under the headline ''Tolerant town gets intolerant.''

She said it wasn't up to the town to restrict anyone's right to dress or undress.

Before the vote, residents weighed in on both sides of the debate.

Michael Gauthier gave the Selectboard a petition with signatures of 967 people who support a nudity ban.

''What is the point, other than shock and awe, that the nudists are trying to make?'' he asked.

     What you got against shock and awe, Mr. Gauthier? 

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August 23 - There is a very special place in hell for Ari Fleischer for using American troops as chew toys.
     There's a clip at that site.  Hearing Ari justify not knowing the soldier's name he chewed during his commercial, and hearing him use 911 to justify staying in Iraq now.
     Like a bad singer on American Idol, Ari Fleischer will do anything for money and attention.  And we should take him about as seriously.

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August 23 - Well, I'll be damn.  It is Vietnam after all.  I recall having my patriotism questioned because I suggested that a year ago.
    Flip flop.  Flip flop.

KANSAS CITY, Mo., Aug. 22 -- President Bush defended his ongoing military commitment in Iraq by linking the conflict there to the Vietnam War, arguing Wednesday that withdrawing U.S. troops would lead to widespread death and suffering as it did in Southeast Asia three decades ago.

    He's the undecider ...

Thanks to Ella Fitzgerald for a little tune that comes to mind ...

First you say you do
And then you don't
And then you say you will
And then you won't
You're undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
Now you want to play
And then it's no
And when you say you'll stay
That's when you go
You're undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
I've been sitting on a fence
And it doesn't make much sense
'Cause you keep me in suspense
And you know it
Then you promise to return
When you don't
I really burn
Well, I guess I'll never learn
And I show it
If you've got a heart
And if you're kind
Then don't keep us apart
Make up your mind
You're undecided now
So what are you gonna do?

     One question:  how would Bush know how it was after Vietnam? 
     16 American soldiers died in Iraq yesterday.  None of them had the last name "Bush."
     I guess what really gets my goat is this ---

The soldiers were scheduled to come home in less than two months. They would have been home already if their tours of duty had not been extended.

     Yet, Young Republicans won't volunteer to go.

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August 22 - Heavy duty philosophy email -

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August 21 - Marsha Rovai, the 70 year old woman who took a beating for Nick Lampson, and even went on national radio to praise him before the election, bought a goat.  Named it Nick.

 

     Let that be a lesson to Democrats who won’t return her calls.  And those who vote for the war and warrantless wiretapping.  She doesn’t have a pig yet, but she knows where to buy one.

 

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August 21 - Remember how if we voted for tort reform our insurance rates would drop dramatically because all that was making our insurance rates high was lawyers suing people for hurting other people?
     Well, not so much.

Allstate Insurance, rebuffed by state regulators on a proposed rate hike last month, filed a new proposal Monday that would increase the cost of its homeowner policies in Texas by an average of 5.9 percent.

     Remember all the money insurance companies gave to advertising companies and all the money insurance companies spent in campaign donations to insure that we got tort reform?  They call it "the cost of doing business."

He attributed the increase to "the cost of doing business" in a state with a volatile history of weather catastrophes and to "broad loss pressures" on the company since rates were last increased.

     Screwed by conservatives again, huh?

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August 20 - Step away from the keyboard, ma'am and nobody gets hurt.
     Sue Richardson, who describes herself as a "community volunteer" in Richardson, Texas, wrote an editorial piece for the Dallas Morning News on school prayer.  She's for it.  As long as it's Chrisitian.
     Sue's editorial starts off this way .....

Franklin Delano Roosevelt's day of infamy was Dec. 7, 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. The schoolchildren's day of infamy was June 25, 1962, when the Supreme Court attacked our children's religious freedom.

     Pearl Harbor?  She starts with Pearl Harbor?  Oh, Hitler's coming next, you can bet on that.
     But wait ...

The fallout from Ms. O'Hair's work has been far-reaching and had the most profoundly devastating and ungodly effects on our nation and moral decline of any one act by any one person in our history.

     Since she's not specific, I'm only suspecting she means Madelyn Murray O'Hair, but didn't know how to spell Madelyn.  I mean, she could have meant Bessie Sue O'Hair, the infamous waitress down at the Starlight Cafe in Pleak.  Bessie Sue could have given Hitler a run for his money.

For 45 years now, it is not been politically correct to speak of evil, sin or right vs. wrong. Even the churches have been rendered silent in movements to call wrong right.

     Even the churches?  Even the churches!  Well then we're right to put pray in the schools and algebra in the church!
     Dear Lord, please protect us from your zealots.  And please let Sue Richardson's children spend more time listening in English and history class than she did.  Amen.

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August 20 - Earl is kicking off the week ---

The Yellow Rove of Texas (or Bush's Lament)

There's a yellow Rove in Texas, that I am going to see,
Nobody else could miss him, not half as much as me.
I cried so when he left me, it like to break my heart,
And if I ever find him, we nevermore will part.

He's the sweetest little Turdblossom that Texas ever knew,
His eyes are bright as diamonds, they sparkle like the dew;
You may talk about your Hanna and sing of Jim Farley,
But the yellow Rove of Texas is the only hack for me. 

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August 19 - I have a friend with a twisted sense of humor (imagine that!) who calmly says to her Republicans friends when something like this comes up, "Oh, that's fine.  Just look at all the power that going to be Hillary's in two years."
     "It's fun to watch them pee their pants," she says.
     Think for a moment if Clinton had done this.  Rush Limbaugh would have had to go on drugs.  Oh wait.

Thirteen months before President Bush was reelected, chief strategist Karl Rove summoned political appointees from around the government to the Old Executive Office Building. The subject of the Oct. 1, 2003, meeting was "asset deployment," and the message was clear:

The staging of official announcements, high-visibility trips and declarations of federal grants had to be carefully coordinated with the White House political affairs office to ensure the maximum promotion of Bush's reelection agenda and the Republicans in Congress who supported him, according to documents and some of those involved in the effort.

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August 19 - Here's some offbeat links for those of you on the coast watching hurricane Dean.

Jamaica Radio   Radio Cayman Country   Cuba Radar

Cayman Webcams    NOAA for cool satellite images

Storm2K to talk about it    Weather Underground

     Weather - it's as unpredictable as a George Bush  speech!

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August 18 - Hal at Half Empty has the best explanation of the Texas CD22 race ever put on the internet machine.  The video alone is worth the trip! 
     By the way, if I'm ever not here for a day or two, check Hal's blog and he'll let you know when I'll be back. 

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August 17 - This is so cool.  Go see it for yourself.  Tom DeLay is trying to say that Democrats want to criminalize politics.  Well, duh.  If you're a criminal, we're apt to say so.  And, remind me please, who controls the justice department?
     And then there's this ----

During a CNN interview about the effect of Karl Rove's resignation, Suzanne Malveaux did not challenge Tom DeLay's claim that "[t]he president held the line on spending," despite the fact that, even though President Bush assumed office with a $125.3 billion surplus, the Bush administration has run a deficit in every fiscal year of the Bush presidency.

     Tom's drinking again.  Either that or the chlorine fumes from the hot tub are getting to him.

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August 17 - This is why I pay my ACLU dues every year.

A couple arrested at a rally after refusing to cover T-shirts that bore anti-President Bush slogans settled their lawsuit against the federal government for $80,000, the American Civil Liberties Union announced Thursday.

Nicole and Jeffery Rank of Corpus Christi, Texas, were handcuffed and removed from the July 4, 2004, rally at the state Capitol, where Bush gave a speech. A judge dismissed trespassing charges against them, and an order closing the case was filed Thursday in U.S. District Court in Charleston.

     This IS still America, dammit.
     Thank you, Earl for the heads-up.

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August 16 - So, Fort Bend County Judge Bob Hebert went to Washington, DeeCee, in April of this year.  Ain't that nice?  Washington DeeCee at cherry blossom time.
     So why did he go?
     To talk about Fort Bend County with Congressman Nick Lampson's staff and Senator John Cornyn's staff. (Click the little one to get the big one.)

     He didn't actually talk to Nick and John, mind you.  I mean, he could have driven to Stafford any Friday and talked to Nick in person and I'm sure John, what with his low approval ratings, would have accepted a personal call from a rich Republican county judge.
     But, Bob spent $1,736.51 of your money to go talk to their staff at apple blossom time.
     Okay, I can live with that. 
     But, since he was spending your money, did he have to stay at a $340. a night hotel?  The Washington Hilton.  I guess so 'cuz Big Boss Bob likes the best.
     Here's the part I just don't get.  While there, he rented a car for $194.43 and paid $46 of your money to park it at the hotel and another $14 to park it at Franklin Square.  That's $254 of your money, or worse yet - my money, for a car for less than 3 full days.  Is he learning about cars from Andy Meyers?
     I've stayed at the Washington Hilton and I know for a fact there's excellent public transportation within walking distance.  But even hot shots who can't take public transportation should know that it looks funny when you also submit the taxi cab bills when you're blowing the budget on a damn car.  Bob submitted three taxi cab bills.
     Have a look at all the bills for yourself.  It'll open in PDF format. 
   
     And then he went to New Orleans.  More to come.....

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August 16 - John Young at the Waco Daily News is threatening to become the next Archer Fullingim.
     He wrote a fun column today about trying to rent a Dixie Chicks movie in Waco.  You will enjoy reading it.
 

In the Bible, the vision of a burning bush causes Moses to put down everything he's doing and to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.

The charge of which I now speak is not so consuming. Still ...

Though I had earthly chores aplenty, I felt the call to stop everything and open a video rental store in Waco.

The store wouldn't be big. In fact, it would have only one section. Only one film, actually, and one copy of it. Low overhead.

That film: The Dixie Chicks' "Shut Up and Sing."

I was ready to rent it to you and yours.

Because, otherwise you wouldn't be able to rent it in Waco.

     Courage is a rare commodity in today's world, so John worked up enough for him and a road crew or two. 
     Courage in Waco, Texas.  That should restore your faith.

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August 16 - Pat Jones from the Hill Country wrote an Ode to Governor Rick Perry and is letting me use it here.  It’s good.  She reminds us: Remembering that "Jesters do oft prove prophets." 

ODE TO THE GOVERNOR 

Debonair, Millionaire, Governor GoodHair
seems to be totally unaware
that Texas has spoken,
"Our trust in him is broken."
His plans for corridors and private toll roads
brought us up to Austin by the busloads!
There will be no animal tagging-
no HPV vaccines which we find abhorring.
The sale of the Texas Lottery
is nothing short of tomfoolery!
Lottery funds are for our children and education
certainly NOT for the Macquarie Corporation!
You vetoed HB1892 ... and raped SB792.
You've sold us all out!  It's True-It's True!
Resorting to threats and blackmail?
Go do your worst.  You won't prevail.
Not since we fought off Spain before
have Texans stood so tall, so together, and more.
The future for you holds a dramatic event.
We SEE your breach of trust has fraudulent intent!
So, wear your crown.  Go make a speech.
We will investigate the word

I M P E A C H

.....by Pat Jones

     Okay, so how many political not-a-blogs do you know that have odes?  Damn few, I'll bet.
 

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August 16 - Okay, okay, I have really good news for you. 
     Oh, be still my heart.
     Robert Talton has decided to run for Congress.  Crazzzy Bob Talton.  Bob "Brought the Cookies" Talton. 

State Rep. Robert Talton is giving up his seat to run in the increasingly crowded Republican primary for the 22nd Congressional District, as the GOP sets its sights on reclaiming the seat vacated by former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay.

Talton, of Pasadena, sent paperwork Monday to the Federal Election Commission and said he will make a formal announcement after Labor Day.

     I mean, if you told me that Ringling Brother Barnum and Bailey were running their entire costume department for Congress, I would only be slightly happier. 
     And then I drooled coffee all over the morning paper when I read this:

Other Republicans eyeing the seat include Pasadena Mayor John Manlove; family court Judge James Squier; Pete Olson, U.S. Sen. John Cornyn's former chief of staff; and former Sugar Land Mayor Dean Hrbacek, who has formed an exploratory committee.

     If it is true that God does not take away from your allotted time this earth any time spent laughing, I'm gonna add two years to my life this election season.
     And there's Shelley Rodriquez Sekula Gibbs Cougar Mellencamp to add to the fray.  She's the only woman I know who got lost in a voting location.  Hey, it's hard to tell bathrooms from voting booths. 
     You gotta love those Republicans.  This group has more rightwing religious nuts in it than you average teevee evangelical theme park.  We'll see if they treat each other like Christians, huh? 
     I think I've just declared myself the Official Super DeLux Brand Christian Republican Primary Scorekeeper for the 22nd Congressional District.  I think I'll set up a special website for it.
     Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Bob Talton.

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August 15 - You are not going to believe this. 

The day after Alberto Gonzales and Andrew Card ran to John Ashcroft's hospital room to have him overrule acting attorney general James Comey's determination that the administration's warrantless surveillance program was illegal, the White House gave a briefing on the super-secret program to none other than Tom DeLay.

     They are telling a durn crook about their secret plans.  Don't they know that Tom would have sold that information to the terrorists for a round of golf, a bottle of wine, a steak dinner and two hookers in a hot tub? 
     What was that about?  Were they hoping that Tom knew someone to pull the plug on Ashcroft? 
     I think we have a new scientific principle at work here:  anybody who is up to no good is naturally drawn to Tom DeLay.

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August 15 - Okay, the more I look at these travel expense reports, the madder I get. 
     I know it's of absolutely no interest for you folks from foreign states, but somebody around here has to keep a rein on our local greedy Republican elected officials, because they'll steal a dime out of your pocket and file an expense report for the trouble of walking up to you.
     Let me give you some examples of what Super DeLux Brand Christian Republican Commissioner Andy Meyers is asking the taxpayers to reimburse him for his trouble.  Now, remember that we pay him $100,000 a year plus excellent perks, and that he pays himself about $1,000 a month from his tax-free campaign account for his cars, gas, maintenance and insurance.
     Here goes ---
     23 miles ($11.50) to "drive to Richmond to meet with Commissioner Stavinoha."  Hey, Stavinoha, drive to Andy's office next time!
     56 miles ($28) to "review traffic problems on Harlem Road."  Good Lord, Andy, Harlem Road is only about 6 miles long.  How many times did you have to drive up and down that sucker to get a feel for the fact that there's damn traffic on it?
     71 miles ($35.50) to drive to Bay Wood County Club for a "presentation on Legislation."  You're not a legislator, Andy; you're a commissioner.  What the tarnation are you doing?
     38 miles ($16) to drive to Rosenberg "to deliver lunches to senior citizens."  Now, look what you've done, Andy - you've made little baby Jesus cry.  Don't you have a charitable bone in your body, you greedy old goat.
     26 miles ($13) to drive to Richmond for "groundbreaking for the new jail."  Okay, so we have to pay you to get your picture in the newspaper.  Now you've made me cry.
     And it goes on and on.
     I don't think we should have to pay him to go places that are not required for his job, like a Museum Association Golf Tournament ($18.)
     For the first 4 months of this year, we have paid him $1,366 in mileage for things like this.  Think about that the next time you pay your taxes.

     Coming next - Self proclaimed "independently wealthy" Republican County Judge Bob Hebert, spending your money like you are, too!

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August 14 - Jim gives us the heads-up on Tom on Karl on Fox.

Former Rep. Tom DeLay warned Tuesday that Democrats shouldn't be so quick to rejoice about Karl Rove's resignation because the revered and reviled political strategist isn't going to shrink back into the shadows.

"He's not dying. ... He's not just going to go away; he'll still be around," DeLay said in an interview of Fox News Tuesday morning. "In fact, I think he'll be more powerful than ever, because he'll be involved in a lot of campaigns, I'm sure. He'll be an adviser to a lot of sitting elected officials. He'll be bigger than ever."

     Yeah, Tom, 'cuz you were soooo right about everything else.  Hey, if Tom tells you it's Easter don't buy no egg dye until you check the calendar.  That's my advice for today.
     But Tom, Dude, it's nice of you to speak highly of Karl since you two will probably end up cellmates before this thing is over with.

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August 14 - My friend, Steve at White's Creek, tells a great story of meeting a blue hero.

As I waited for my bag to come out of the little door that fed the conveyor belt of happiness for airline travelers awaiting their baggage, I admired the solid body electric Gibson guitar in the glass case.

Life is a song, played in the key of the moment...A wondrous thing to listen to.

     Go enjoy it all.

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August 14 - Okay, Bluerumpers, I'm busy working on a little project.  I requested and got the travel expenses for the past 6 months for our two greediest elected officials, who also happen to be our most vicious ankle-biting Republicans - Commissioner Andy Meyers and County Judge Bob Hebert.
     I got them yesterday.  I want to thank both the auditor's office and the county attorney's office for their help and prompt response to my request.  They were helpful, professional, and did a great job.
     If you recall, I kinda pitched a snot-nosed hissy fit over Andy charging his campaign account - which is nothing more than kickbacks at taxpayer's expense - for 1,200 mile of travel in six months.
     Well, Andy's driving fetish gets worse.  I just discovered that from October 2 through December 8 of last year, Republican Commissioner Andy Meyers charged the taxpayers of this county $1,144 in mileage to go to the county fair, drive to work on Tuesdays, and some other stuff that you're flat not going to believe.  That's just for 2 months, my friends. 
     Here's little preview to keep you busy while I try to figure out how to get the rest of this uploaded and making some sense.  Click the little Andy mileage to get the big Andy mileage.

     We also will be doing Mr. Bob goes to Washington - on your dime!
     Damn, this is more fun than recess in heaven!