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All my county documents can
be found here.


If you'd like to make a comment, email it to me
Email comments are in the blue boxes.


August 31 - We get email about Silly Shelley --


Back in the 2006 race, I signed-up with SSG's website to receive her email propaganda.  Today I received spam email from a PAC sent to the unique email address I used for SSG's newsletter.

Since the original email was in HTML and contained web bugs (code for tracking email opens, etc.), I've reproduced the email below in plain text to eliminate the tracking.  A further search of Silly Shelley's website and the spammers website show that neither have a privacy policy.

Given that Silly Shelley has shared my email address without permission, I hardly think she can be trusted to protect the privacy of Texans.

Sign me Barry Gibbs 

NOTE FROM SUSAN, Thank goodness!  Barry is my favorite Gibbs brother.  I hope this doesn't mean that Robin is supporting Shelley.
     Guys, the attached email was about The Big Red Tent, a GOP fundraising tool.  What Barry did was smart.  By signing up for emails with different names you can track who's selling your email address.

The BG's are the GIBB brothers, not Gibbs. Your correspondent is pulling the wool over your eye. And yes, I'm actually old enough to know silly stuff like that.
Can't you all keep him at home?
Oh. That's right. He's not a Texan any more. Never mind!
Rich in Kentucky


August 31 - Oilmen: they make a snake look cuddly.
     Oilman Oscar Wyatt is going to need an offshore platform for the hole he's dug for himself. 

A jury can see an Iraqi document that suggests Houston oilman Oscar Wyatt discussed American troop levels and possible dates for an attack with a member of Saddam Hussein's regime before the U.S.-led invasion in 2003, a federal judge ruled Thursday.

Wyatt, 83, is scheduled to stand trial starting next week on criminal charges that he funneled millions of dollars in illegal payments to Saddam's government in order to win lucrative oil export contracts under the United Nations' Oil-for-Food program.

     Wyatt's major sin, however, appears to be that he wasn't close enough friends with the Bushes or the Cheneys.  And, he's standing trial for it.

August 30 - Thanks to a suggestion from Hank, I'm putting all the documents I collect and scan on one page.  I put a link to it on the left hand side of this page. 
     I'm not real organized, so please let me know if I've missed any.

August 30 - No, I'm serious.  Tom DeLay comments to Matt Lauer about the Larry Craig sex scandal
     Hey, it wasn't in a hot tub! 
     Tom blames the Democrats and the media. He contends that when Republicans have someone breaking the law, they do something about it.  Yeah, like Karl Rove and Dick Cheney.
     You know, I'm getting really sick of Tom DeLay talking about how his family has suffered.  His wife and daughter made a cool million dollars off his political ploys, and he doesn't speak to the rest of his family and hasn't in years.  Somebody needs to remind him of that on teevee so I can see his reaction to reality.


Tom DeLay has been all over the television today.  Have you noticed that he's stopped his botox treatments and now he looks exactly like Michael Corleone in Godfather II? 

Dorian Gray played out right in front of us!!!!


August 30 - You know the best thing about being a woman?  If another woman taps her foot in the bathroom stall, it's because she wants you to notice her shoes.

August 30 - Well, it appears that Mike Gallagher of Townhall better prepare himself
     Those chills up his spine about the Texas GOP straw vote this weekend in Ft. Worth might actually be icicles

Another prominent Republican presidential candidate is pulling out of the Texas straw poll: former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, who finished a surprising second in the Iowa straw poll.

"The governor will not be participating in the [Texas] straw poll due to a scheduling conflict," spokeswoman Alice Stewart said Wednesday.

     Well, who IS going to show up?

That leaves U.S. Reps. Ron Paul of Surfside and Duncan Hunter of California, Ray McKinney, John Cox and Hugh Cort as the candidates planning to show up at the Fort Worth Convention Center this weekend.

     But, wait, it gets better  …..

While Republican Party faithful are casting ballots inside the convention center Saturday, anti-war activists will be holding a fair outside with musicians, performers, children's games and even hot dogs for sale. Their goal is to conduct a poll to show that Americans want the troops brought home from Iraq.

     Yep.  There’s gonna be a party.  And I’ll bet there will be more people at the party than at the straw vote. 
     By the way, it costs $50 to be part of this straw vote, $75 if you show up at the door.  If you just come with someone and don’t vote, then it’s just $25. 
     On the other hand, the party appears to be free.  Now, that should send chills up your spine, my friend.

I think maybe next time the good folks at Townhall will have to change the rules of the straw poll.  In Iowa the delegates are bought and paid for, but damn it this is TEXAS, we buy and pay our candidates and elected officials (I don't mean in a corrupt way).  At least one of the candidates might have shown up!


August 29 - Dave sent us a cool website we need to bookmark for this election season:  right about here
     It's gonna fact-check the Presidential candidates.  It's from the St. Petersburg Times and Congressional Quarterly so it's legit. 

August 29 - The race for County Commissioner Precinct 1 Tom Stavinoha’s (rhymes with Krakatoa) seat is becoming hotly contested.  As well it should be.  Tom is as worthless as a four card flush.
     However, it’s becoming a dream race for people who love comedy in their politics.  He’s already got two GOP primary opponents and more are on the horizon.  They can smell blood.  Most of them couldn’t spell it even if you spotted them three letters, but dammit they can smell it. 
     Greg Ordeneaux is selling his tax collection business to run.  Oh just what we need, a Republican already trained in taking our money.  Ordeneaux has no idea why he’s running, saying of his incumbent opponent, “I can’t put my finger on a particular issue, but I do kind of question the whole county government’s service to the people…”
     That’s like saying, “I don’t know, I just don’t like the guy.  And some days I just question this whole gravity thing, too.”
     You wanna hear cold?  Stavinoha appoints this Ordeneaux dude to the Toll Road Authority and the dude uses that as a springboard to run against Stavinoha.  Good Lord, can you even imagine how much kickback “campaign contributions” money Ordeneaux could finagle out of vendors with that kind of street cred for vicious?
     And then we’ve got Jack Molho running, a man with more baggage than the American Airlines claim room. 
     Verdelia is calling it the battle of the vowels:  Stavinoha, Molho, and Ordeneaux.  She’s gonna enter as the one-name candidate: Verdelia.  Kinda like Madonna.  ‘Cept older. 

August 28 - Oh goody!  It works!

     Oh Sweet Heavens, he got stuck in an elevator for an hour with Rodrigo Carrion.  I'd like to apologize to Judge Kennedy and the pregnant lady.  I'll try to be more specific next time.
     (For you folks from outta town, Rodrigo is quite the chatterbox and he's not ... well, let's just say that he's not close friends with Mr. Hygiene.) 

August 28 - Okay, I haven’t said a whole lot about this because I’ve said before that the more obsessed Republican woman get with other people’s hoochy-koochy, the more their men get caught doing really kinky stuff.      
     Republican women should go home and do some kinky stuff.  I’m serious.  They’d be better people for it. 
     Here’s the deal with Senator Larry Craig.  The guy plead guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in a bathroom, but swears up and down that he’s not gay.  Look, you know what he was doing in that bathroom.  It wasn’t like he was squirting soap on people or rolling out all the paper towels and making airplanes out of them. 
     Okay, so maybe he’s not gay.  Maybe he just likes to act gay. 
     Now he’s saying that he "overreacted and made a poor decision" when he plead guilty. He needs to leave the Senate not because he’s gay, but because his guitar ain’t tuned right. 

August 28 - Yep, Ted Nugent is mentally disturbed.  Sean Hannity, on the other hand, is just batcrap nuts.  See for yourself.

Our dear friend Ted has a weekly column in my local paper, The Waco Tribune Herald  There is a local campaign to get it removed because of the hateful, vulgar, misogynistic hate speech he made recently.
If you or any of your friends would like to help, feel free to write the editors at .
Your contribution is appreciated.
Your friend in Waco

August 27 - Wanna hear the greatest conspiracy theory ever?
     Everybody’s been wondering why Texas Governor Rick Perry is raising money for his campaign while he already has $1.3 million in his warchest.
     I’ve got a theory.  It’s just a playful little theory. 
     What if Bush appoints beleaguered Texas Senator John Cornyn to the open Attorney General spot?  Cornyn’s been attorney general before, albeit a bad one in Texas, but being good at anything seems to disqualify you from the Bush cabinet. 
     Cornyn is lagging behind in all the polls for his reelection in 2008.  It’s highly likely that he’ll get beat so bad that his grandchildren will be born shaking. 
     The Senate would be likely to approve one of their own, no?
     So, then Governor Rick Perry appoints himself to the Senate and will run in Cornyn’s stead with a fresh start, and Dewhurst becomes Governor. 
     Nah.  It’s too neat a little package.

UPDATE:  Well, maybe Perry has other plans ---

In a development not yet made public, knowledgeable Republicans say that Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) is likely to take over the Republican Governors Association in 2008. The move is significant because RGA Vice Chairman Matt Blunt (R) has been in line to become chairman next year. Governor Blunt is the son of U.S. House Minority Whip Roy Blunt (R).

Too scary to think about girl.
Bite your tongue.

August 27 - Oh yummy in my tummy!  Somebody alert Paula Deen!  Granny Geek tells us how to eat our way through the State Fair of Texas.

August 27 - As promised, I now have County Judge Bob Hebert's expense report for his trip to New Orleans for a couple of days at the National Hurricane Conference. 
     I don't have a problem with Big Bob  going to a hurricane conference - if only for a couple of days, but his reimbursement bills are kinda funny.
     Click here and it will open in PDF format.  It's clear and easy to read, thanks to Dave.
     Best I can figure, Bob's little trip cost us about $2,100, adding in airfare and conference registration.  And that's  for only one full day at the conference.
     First, check page 11 for his food receipt.  Contrary to all good accounting practices, there's no original receipt.  Bob just typed his supposed bill on a piece of paper.  Page 10 of the report explains that a special order of Commissioner's Court was put on the agenda to pay Bob $112 ($56 a day) for his food, even if he didn't have receipts.  Try that little trick if you're a county employee without a receipt, or you want to keep your receipt secret. 
     Interestingly, Bob's airplane touched down noonish on Wednesday, but he managed to spend $135.52 plus a $24 tip at Jazz's Casino Restaurant (that's Harrah's Casino Restaurant) that very night.  Counting the wait for his luggage, the drive from the airport (yeah, he rented a car again), checking into the hotel, getting settled in the hotel room, and then finding the durn conference, that pretty well shoots the whole afternoon.
     The next night, Thursday, Bob dined at Commander's Palace for $137 and $20 tip.
     The last day, Friday, his airplane took off at noon.  Hey, show up, eat, gamble a little, and then get the heck outta Dodge. 
     He also had some special requests for his room at the Hilton Riverside.  He wanted "non-smoking, king sized bed, high floor, and near the elevator."  Well, I suspect so, what with eating a $135 meal two nights in a row.
     So, basically, we spent $2,100 for Bob to spend one full day at a hurricane conference.  Remember that information the next time a Republican tells you they're conservative.


Where do you get this information and how can I get some?  I want to check on my commissioner.  Thank you for doing this.


NOTE FROM SUSAN:  BD, first you determine what you want to see.  For this request, I asked to see the travel expenses for Bob Hebert and Andy Meyers for the first six months of this year. 
     You send your request to the County Attorney's Office.  They will contact you and let you know when the materials are ready for you to view.  Be sure that you are very specific about what you want to see and be sure to include a reasonable timeframe. The county attorney's office has been very prompt in replying to me.
     If you want copies of the materials requested, they will also do that.  It's 10 cents a page and State law allows them to charge you $15 an hour for manpower to reproduce the copies if it's over 50 pages.  That keeps the taxpayers from having to pay for your and my requests.  That's fair.
    My request came to a little under 100 pages and the total charge was $26.  I think that's reasonable. 
     I will continue to spot check some of our elected officials.  I don't have anything better to do with my time.  I can't keep them honest, but I can let you know which of your pockets they have their hands in.


August 27 - With both Rove and Gonzales moving back to the State Capital, it gives a whole 'nother meaning to "Keep Austin weird."
     On the upside, with Rove and Gonzales gone from Dee Cee, Bush gets to be the craziest, meanest, and most lying son of a motherless goat in the city.


 Any day that I awake to news that Alberto Gonzales has resigned  is bound to be a really great day! Karl, Alberto, Rummy, et it too much to hope that G.W. will resign, Dick move to Iraq and the upcoming wedding will have to be held in a barn on the Texas White House?  I tell you, that's one social event I'm not looking forward to, not that I'm on the guest list anyway, a fact that I'm really proud of.  Ari, Snow, and what's his name, the dude from TX all day maybe we'll wake up in a better world.


August 26 - Our friend Mike says that Texas's own Ben Sargent got it perfect.  I agree.

August 26 - My friend Rich in Kentucky has asked me to share this with my Texas friends ---

You haven't lived until you've heard lifelong Texas Republicans call Bush & Cheney "war criminals."

Not to imply that that's the only thing Bush and Cheney get called by some people who at one time voted for them. Good strong comments about lack of competence, intellect, attention span and general information also float around the pathetic spectral remnants of what some pundits used to call Bush's "aura of invincibility."

     I agree with Margie that our Democrats in Congress are lagging about fifty yards behind the American public.  You'd think they had a anvil in their pants. 
     It's time to separate the preachers from the chicken thieves and bring about the durn change we voted for last November.

August 26 - UPDATE: The Dallas Morning News reports that the whole thing is a "dud."

While I was in Austin, Patrick sent me some delightful information.
     It seems that townhalldotcom is having a GOP "straw Presidential vote" in Ft. Worth on Labor Day weekend.  I have no idea why they're doing this when they opposed an early Presidential primary in Texas.
     But they have my full permission to in-fight some more. I don't think that the GOP in Texas is speaking to itself lately.  It's been in an awful snit with itself ever since it had to rip-off its W bumper stickers out of pure embarrassment and then have to explain Tom Craddick .... to Tom Craddick.
     Now, as if townhalldotcom ain't a insane asylum for people with a keyboard, imagine the entire far rightwing fringe of the GOP getting together in one place for a long weekend and arguing over which GOP Presidential candidate is just the damn crankiest. 
     But, what Patrick sent me is priceless.  You will love this.  The people at townhalldotcom are indignant, indignant I tell you, that Democrats are making fun of their little straw party.
     The Democratic county chair in Fort Worth, Art Brender, who I now have a crush on, did not afford them the proper seriousness they feel they've earned what with the serious mess they've made in the last 8 years.
     And the GOP is seriously hacked off about not getting respect. No, seriously.
     The Democratic county chair answered questions in the Fort Worth Star Telegram about the upcoming GOP Straw Fest.  To begin with, he called it "hot air balloon race."  And then he got wound-up ---

How many people do you think will show up and vote?

(Brender): That depends on how many Texans support the botched occupation of Iraq (the war was over in 2003); huge budget deficits; high gas prices; no-bid government contracts; and do not believe in evolution or stem-cell research.

What message do you think the straw poll will send?

(Brender): That the GOP will not take responsibility for the botched occupation of Iraq; corrupt no-bid contracts to Halliburton; high gas prices; failing air and water qualities; skyrocketing utility rates; and corrupt and failed regulation of student loans.

     Art Brender, I love yew.
     However, Townhall's columnist Mr. Mike Gallagher, who announces that the straw vote is "the kind of event that sends chills up my spine," is outraged at Art's needling.
     Okay, okay, we have to stop here.  If a worthless straw vote in Fort Worth Texas sends chills up somebody's spine, then it's truly time for a spine-check.  I imagine the Miss America vote would freeze his tail off.
     Anyway, Townhall's Gallagher, who takes himself seriously serious, responds thusly to my new best friend Art Brender ---

Do you believe that this man really thinks that Republicans in his state are a bunch of “corrupt” people who aren’t capable of taking responsibility for serious matters?

What a gross, reckless, insulting thing to say.

     Oh Lord, we cannot elect these people again.  They are not very bright.
     I know I'm carrying on far too long, but there's one more thing that Townhall's Gallagher said that's worth keeping in your heart this election season.
    He explains for three paragraphs that the Iowa straw vote is just flat silly and predictable because "the candidate who decides to spend the most money by bringing in as many supporters as they can afford will win."
     Then he says .....

But in Texas, it will be quite different. Instead of delegates who are bought and paid for (and I don’t mean that in a corrupt way), the Texas GOP Straw Poll is open to all Republicans who have previously attended a state or national convention.

     Okay, okay, how can you be bought and paid for in a non-corrupt way?  Is it like legalized prostitution in Nevada?  Is the GOP now officially a non-corrupt and legal whorehouse? 
     Oh, this is going to be a great election season.

Hello Susan, 

Reading about the forthcoming GOP straw poll, I thought I’d share my preferred method for choosing political candidates. You might like to pass it on to where ever it will do the most good.  

First, you equip all the candidates with a short but extremely sharp knife and a big stick with nails in. Then you put them all in a big room with no lights, something like a basketball court would be ideal. You tell them that the first one out gets the job. Then you lock the doors.  

Oh, and remember to set up some infrared cameras like the nature film makers use so you can watch the fun. 



August 25 - Okay, Guys, I went off to the State Democratic Executive Committee Meeting in Austin and left my laptop in the other car. 
     Generally, you guys never know if I'm in town or outta here because a cell phone and a laptop can keep all kinds of secrets.
     IF you remember to take them.
     So, I have a slew emails to catch up on and some cool new stuff to upload but I need a day of rest after all the fun I had in Austin.
     As I've told you before, I really don't like you guys enough to work when I don't wanna.

August 24 - Mickey lets us know that a "Bachelor of Arts in Humanities with a concentration in homemaking" is ours for the having from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

The BA in Humanities with a concentration in homemaking provides a solid foundation for life. The woman who completes this degree and concentration will be:
  • Prepared spiritually – Through significant study of Scripture and theology, each woman will be prepared to be an evangelist and apologist focused upon reaching women, children and families for Christ.
  • Challenged intellectually – Intensive instruction in the history of Western ideas will challenge each woman to be familiar with the influential people of our past and to give a response from a biblical worldview.
  • Equipped practically–With four areas of focus, the homemaking concentration student will be equipped 
  • To nurture and care for the family.
  • In the area of nutrition and food preparation.
  • By developing a skill in clothing and textile design.
  • Through practical experiences for skill development for the most important job a woman may have: the nurture and care of the family.

     Mickey says, "You won't be hearing from me for a while. I'm going to enroll and work on an MA in Ironing and go on to a PhD in Burka Design!"
     I'm going to ask one of my gay friends to apply.

It' so nice to see how they have progressed with the times. This is a same place that expelled Jerry Lee Lewis, so I know they don't allow no evil Rock'n Roll. I think they should change the "Southwestern" part of their name to "Stepford" though.


From my favorite church - an Advanced Degree in Motherhood.


Dear Susan,
  When I went to college, they didn't call it a
"Bachelor of Arts in Humanities with a concentration in homemaking".  They just called it "Getting the MRS"



August 24 - Because we don't have enough distractions while driving ----

Billboards along urban stretches of major highways could soon be converted to digital signs that are able to flash vivid new color images every eight seconds.

The Texas Transportation Commission approved proposed rules Thursday that are designed to end Texas' decades-long ban on digital billboards along interstates and other major roads. The signs would still be banned in rural areas.

     Big, giant teevee screens all over the highway with people driving 70 mph while talking on the cell phone, putting on lipstick, and whacking the kids in the backseat. 
     Why ban it in rural areas?  Hell, we'd think it was the drive-in picture show and park all over the Farm to Market roads to watch for free. 

August 23 - My friends Al and Carol (two separate families), who moved to Vermont on me, keep pestering me to pack my bags and come to the Land of Ben and Jerry's and tasty maple syrup. 
     I dunno.
     I'm not saying this will play into my decision, but I'm also not saying it won't.  The last paragraph is a keeper!

BRATTLEBORO, Vt. (AP) -- Vermont's clothing-optional capital is stripping off its temporary ban on public nudity.

A month after passing the temporary ban, the Brattleboro Selectboard voted 3-2 on Tuesday to reject a proposed ordinance that would have made it permanent. When the emergency temporary ordinance expires next month, public nudity will no longer be illegal.

It's all about tolerance, one board member said.

''We in this country are going down a slippery slope these days,'' said Dora Bouboulis, noting a national newspaper recently published an article about the emergency ordinance under the headline ''Tolerant town gets intolerant.''

She said it wasn't up to the town to restrict anyone's right to dress or undress.

Before the vote, residents weighed in on both sides of the debate.

Michael Gauthier gave the Selectboard a petition with signatures of 967 people who support a nudity ban.

''What is the point, other than shock and awe, that the nudists are trying to make?'' he asked.

     What you got against shock and awe, Mr. Gauthier? 

August 23 - There is a very special place in hell for Ari Fleischer for using American troops as chew toys.
     There's a clip at that site.  Hearing Ari justify not knowing the soldier's name he chewed during his commercial, and hearing him use 911 to justify staying in Iraq now.
     Like a bad singer on American Idol, Ari Fleischer will do anything for money and attention.  And we should take him about as seriously.


You can use him as a mouthpiece
For sympathy's part of the game
But how many limbs must a veteran lose
Before you remember his name?


August 23 - Well, I'll be damn.  It is Vietnam after all.  I recall having my patriotism questioned because I suggested that a year ago.
    Flip flop.  Flip flop.

KANSAS CITY, Mo., Aug. 22 -- President Bush defended his ongoing military commitment in Iraq by linking the conflict there to the Vietnam War, arguing Wednesday that withdrawing U.S. troops would lead to widespread death and suffering as it did in Southeast Asia three decades ago.

    He's the undecider ...

Thanks to Ella Fitzgerald for a little tune that comes to mind ...

First you say you do
And then you don't
And then you say you will
And then you won't
You're undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
Now you want to play
And then it's no
And when you say you'll stay
That's when you go
You're undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
I've been sitting on a fence
And it doesn't make much sense
'Cause you keep me in suspense
And you know it
Then you promise to return
When you don't
I really burn
Well, I guess I'll never learn
And I show it
If you've got a heart
And if you're kind
Then don't keep us apart
Make up your mind
You're undecided now
So what are you gonna do?

     One question:  how would Bush know how it was after Vietnam? 
     16 American soldiers died in Iraq yesterday.  None of them had the last name "Bush."
     I guess what really gets my goat is this ---

The soldiers were scheduled to come home in less than two months. They would have been home already if their tours of duty had not been extended.

     Yet, Young Republicans won't volunteer to go.

If Iraq is like Vietnam does that mean Dubya will start hiding out in Alabama?


August 22 - Heavy duty philosophy email -

Just got back from 2 weeks in Alaska and have been catching up with the Fort Bend goings on. Seems as thought it's the same ole same ole. Why did I think anything would change?

Want to relate to you a scene I saw in Denali National Park - there was a caribou carcass, a pack of wolves and a blubber-butted brown bear. Our driver told us that it was obvious that the wolves had made the kill, but that the bear had moved in and stolen it.  The bear was not even much interested in eating, just wanted to keep the wolves away from the carcass. Now, I think I know who the brown bear represents, and I'm pretty sure we taxpayers are the caribou carcass, but I'm not altogether sure who the wolves represent! Perhaps you could enlighten me!

If you haven't been to Alaska, I highly recommend it to you.


Hi Susan,
I think the wolves represent small and medium business who get pushed out by big business.  they do the work and take the risk and the big boys come along and take it away...............the carcass is is gone either way!!

August 22 - This is what the Iowa Caucus does to perfectly normal people ---

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) - A woman who police say assaulted people with a hammer while she was naked was arrested on a variety of charges, including assault and obstruction of emergency communications.

Satin Delfrano, 32, of Des Moines was arrested on Sunday after police were called to a complaint of a woman armed with a hammer assaulting three other women.

Officers went to an upstairs bedroom and found Delfrano.

They allowed her to get dressed and then handcuffed her and led her outside.

Delfrano tried to walk away on her knees and kicked an officer in the leg, injuring the officer, police said.

Delfrano also was charged with assault of a police officer, third-degree criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.

     I just have one thing to say.  I have not been in Des Moines lately and I would never give my name as "Satin."  Okay, so maybe I would. 

August 21 - Earl says ....


Here's a bizarre story that took place 16 months ago, but was reposted on Buzzflash.  Bill Nye The Science Guy told an audience in Waco that the Moon doesn't give light, it only reflects the light of he Sun--even though the Bible says different.  They did NOT take it well!  In fact the Waco newspaper the report appeared in had to pull it from its website because it made Waco look like a good place to burn witches.  Oh, well.....

We don't need no stinkin' science!

NOTE FROM SUSAN:  Please try to remember that Waco is in Texas only by geographic accident. 

This is true. When I worked in reservations for the British airline I used to work for. I had an Englishman call in and ask for connecting flight information to "Wacko" being a seasoned pro I did not laugh and
immediately recognized the mispronunciation and corrected him nicely. We had a coworker from "Wacko" so the joke was old. BUT after seeing this, I think he got it right the first time.


August 21 - Now wait just a minute here.  This ain't "older" people's fault.
     The county has noticed that a lot of "older" precinct judges are not signing up any more.  They think they know why.

“It is a little intimidating. It’s a device. It looks like a computer. It is a computer to a certain extent. The paper ballot was just a lot simpler,” said J.R. Perez, Fort Bend County’s elections administrator.

But the paper ballot is gone.

Many older precinct judges, the ones who manage polling places, are leaving too.

They're evidently frightened by the electronic process.

     Nooooo, older people are not afraid of computers.  They are afraid of pieces of crapola. 
     We tried and tried to talk Judge Hebert and Commissioners Patterson and Stavinoha out of buying those worthless things. 
     They only allowed one day for citizen input and then were against everything the citizens told them.
     So, don't blame it on "older" people.  Blame it on stoopid people - Commissioners Court and the County Judge.

Susan, has a couple of stories about voting machines in California.  The Secretary of State just decertified some machines and there is apparently an investigation into insider trading at Deibold.

Man!  Don't these people ever learn?



August 21 - Marsha Rovai, the 70 year old woman who took a beating for Nick Lampson, and even went on national radio to praise him before the election, bought a goat.  Named it Nick.


     Let that be a lesson to Democrats who won’t return her calls.  And those who vote for the war and warrantless wiretapping.  She doesn’t have a pig yet, but she knows where to buy one.


August 21 - Remember how if we voted for tort reform our insurance rates would drop dramatically because all that was making our insurance rates high was lawyers suing people for hurting other people?
     Well, not so much.

Allstate Insurance, rebuffed by state regulators on a proposed rate hike last month, filed a new proposal Monday that would increase the cost of its homeowner policies in Texas by an average of 5.9 percent.

     Remember all the money insurance companies gave to advertising companies and all the money insurance companies spent in campaign donations to insure that we got tort reform?  They call it "the cost of doing business."

He attributed the increase to "the cost of doing business" in a state with a volatile history of weather catastrophes and to "broad loss pressures" on the company since rates were last increased.

     Screwed by conservatives again, huh?

Any time an insurance company or a bank is in favor of a law you KNOW the consumer is going to get the shaft.


 The insurance reform bill that has shafted so many people was pushed by representative and insurance agent Larry Taylor (R) of Friendswood.  He's one of the half dozen thugs that accepted the illegal campaign funds that got DeLay in trouble.  I understand he got quite an award from the national insurance industry for his work.


August 20 - Step away from the keyboard, ma'am and nobody gets hurt.
     Sue Richardson, who describes herself as a "community volunteer" in Richardson, Texas, wrote an editorial piece for the Dallas Morning News on school prayer.  She's for it.  As long as it's Chrisitian.
     Sue's editorial starts off this way .....

Franklin Delano Roosevelt's day of infamy was Dec. 7, 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. The schoolchildren's day of infamy was June 25, 1962, when the Supreme Court attacked our children's religious freedom.

     Pearl Harbor?  She starts with Pearl Harbor?  Oh, Hitler's coming next, you can bet on that.
     But wait ...

The fallout from Ms. O'Hair's work has been far-reaching and had the most profoundly devastating and ungodly effects on our nation and moral decline of any one act by any one person in our history.

     Since she's not specific, I'm only suspecting she means Madelyn Murray O'Hair, but didn't know how to spell Madelyn.  I mean, she could have meant Bessie Sue O'Hair, the infamous waitress down at the Starlight Cafe in Pleak.  Bessie Sue could have given Hitler a run for his money.

For 45 years now, it is not been politically correct to speak of evil, sin or right vs. wrong. Even the churches have been rendered silent in movements to call wrong right.

     Even the churches?  Even the churches!  Well then we're right to put pray in the schools and algebra in the church!
     Dear Lord, please protect us from your zealots.  And please let Sue Richardson's children spend more time listening in English and history class than she did.  Amen.

The dear lady from Richardson who's peeved about a lack of prayer in schools would be even more ticked off if she realized the Southern Baptists filed a Friend of the Court brief in the case of Murrey vs. Curlett.  The SBC didn't want their good Baptist young 'uns the chance of hearing Catholic prayers. 
Kate oDubh

I sent this to the Dallas Morning News, lets see if they publish it.
After reading Ms. Richardson's article regarding what she calls the Texas Schoolchildren's Religious Liberties/Religious Viewpoints Antidiscrimination Act, my first reaction was to think "My goodness, on September 1, hordes of students will come through the school doors, proselytizing through the halls and into the classroom, with the band playing accompanying trumpets and the choir singing Handel's Messiah."  Then I took a breath and looked up the law to see what the fuss was about.
After doing a little bit of searching, my reaction then was, "What's the big deal?" I don't see what the problem is really with this law. It sets up guidelines for the expression of religious ideas by students in schools.  My students discuss their religious views with each other all the time in my class, sometimes in relation to the topic we happen to be discussing.  While I may enter into the discussion as to what different ideologies may think, again in relation to the topic, my personal opinion does not come into play here, nor do the students get my views or beliefs. That is none of their business.  It is done from a historical or cultural context, and is not meant to sway students in any way.  I find this has the effect of enlightening the students to different ideas held by different cultures that they may not have heard before, and they begin to question and hypothesize.  Isn't this what school is really supposed to be about, getting students to think?
There are some things that you won't see in my classroom.  I will not tolerate someone's opinion being called wrong or stupid.  While they may discuss religious type matters, they will not see them on the test.  When I ask a question such as, what are the current scientific theories related to the Big Bang Theory of the origin of the universe, the answer "God did it" will not suffice.  I want science, not religion. If I want to know current ideas on Darwinism or Punctuated Equilibrium (look it up), a religious answer will not cut it.  My science class is devoted to the study of science. It does not rule out including what others may believe, but unless it has been peer tested and published in a scientific journal, you won't see it on a test.
People on the far religious right, or those on the far atheistic left, seem to be the ones who always get their opinions published in the papers. It makes for good reading, and more papers get sold, but they are wrong. When the Supreme Court ruled on the New York law and separated church and state, it protects both those who choose to worship and those who don't, and those in the middle who try to find a common ground.  There are a lot more people in that latter category, and they are the ones who were quiet in 1962, because they knew the Supreme Court was right. 

August 20 - Earl is kicking off the week ---

The Yellow Rove of Texas (or Bush's Lament)

There's a yellow Rove in Texas, that I am going to see,
Nobody else could miss him, not half as much as me.
I cried so when he left me, it like to break my heart,
And if I ever find him, we nevermore will part.

He's the sweetest little Turdblossom that Texas ever knew,
His eyes are bright as diamonds, they sparkle like the dew;
You may talk about your Hanna and sing of Jim Farley,
But the yellow Rove of Texas is the only hack for me.

August 19 - I have a friend with a twisted sense of humor (imagine that!) who calmly says to her Republicans friends when something like this comes up, "Oh, that's fine.  Just look at all the power that going to be Hillary's in two years."
     "It's fun to watch them pee their pants," she says.
     Think for a moment if Clinton had done this.  Rush Limbaugh would have had to go on drugs.  Oh wait.

Thirteen months before President Bush was reelected, chief strategist Karl Rove summoned political appointees from around the government to the Old Executive Office Building. The subject of the Oct. 1, 2003, meeting was "asset deployment," and the message was clear:

The staging of official announcements, high-visibility trips and declarations of federal grants had to be carefully coordinated with the White House political affairs office to ensure the maximum promotion of Bush's reelection agenda and the Republicans in Congress who supported him, according to documents and some of those involved in the effort.

August 19 - Here's some offbeat links for those of you on the coast watching hurricane Dean.

Jamaica Radio   Radio Cayman Country   Cuba Radar

Cayman Webcams    NOAA for cool satellite images

Storm2K to talk about it    Weather Underground

     Weather - it's as unpredictable as a George Bush  speech!

August 18 - Hal at Half Empty has the best explanation of the Texas CD22 race ever put on the internet machine.  The video alone is worth the trip! 
     By the way, if I'm ever not here for a day or two, check Hal's blog and he'll let you know when I'll be back. 


I predict that THAT video is going to become world famous.  It's a shame that Hal doesn't say what particular brand of Republican they're feasting upon.


August 17 - This is so cool.  Go see it for yourself.  Tom DeLay is trying to say that Democrats want to criminalize politics.  Well, duh.  If you're a criminal, we're apt to say so.  And, remind me please, who controls the justice department?
     And then there's this ----

During a CNN interview about the effect of Karl Rove's resignation, Suzanne Malveaux did not challenge Tom DeLay's claim that "[t]he president held the line on spending," despite the fact that, even though President Bush assumed office with a $125.3 billion surplus, the Bush administration has run a deficit in every fiscal year of the Bush presidency.

     Tom's drinking again.  Either that or the chlorine fumes from the hot tub are getting to him.

August 17 - This is why I pay my ACLU dues every year.

A couple arrested at a rally after refusing to cover T-shirts that bore anti-President Bush slogans settled their lawsuit against the federal government for $80,000, the American Civil Liberties Union announced Thursday.

Nicole and Jeffery Rank of Corpus Christi, Texas, were handcuffed and removed from the July 4, 2004, rally at the state Capitol, where Bush gave a speech. A judge dismissed trespassing charges against them, and an order closing the case was filed Thursday in U.S. District Court in Charleston.

     This IS still America, dammit.
     Thank you, Earl for the heads-up.

August 16 - So, Fort Bend County Judge Bob Hebert went to Washington, DeeCee, in April of this year.  Ain't that nice?  Washington DeeCee at cherry blossom time.
     So why did he go?
     To talk about Fort Bend County with Congressman Nick Lampson's staff and Senator John Cornyn's staff. (Click the little one to get the big one.)

     He didn't actually talk to Nick and John, mind you.  I mean, he could have driven to Stafford any Friday and talked to Nick in person and I'm sure John, what with his low approval ratings, would have accepted a personal call from a rich Republican county judge.
     But, Bob spent $1,736.51 of your money to go talk to their staff at apple blossom time.
     Okay, I can live with that. 
     But, since he was spending your money, did he have to stay at a $340. a night hotel?  The Washington Hilton.  I guess so 'cuz Big Boss Bob likes the best.
     Here's the part I just don't get.  While there, he rented a car for $194.43 and paid $46 of your money to park it at the hotel and another $14 to park it at Franklin Square.  That's $254 of your money, or worse yet - my money, for a car for less than 3 full days.  Is he learning about cars from Andy Meyers?
     I've stayed at the Washington Hilton and I know for a fact there's excellent public transportation within walking distance.  But even hot shots who can't take public transportation should know that it looks funny when you also submit the taxi cab bills when you're blowing the budget on a damn car.  Bob submitted three taxi cab bills.
     Have a look at all the bills for yourself.  It'll open in PDF format. 
     And then he went to New Orleans.  More to come.....

Sounds like Bob needed a vacation at taxpayer's expense.  With just one day of meetings, he could have flown up and flown back in one day.  Why three taxis if he went to just one place ---- the capitol????

Judy P

August 16 - John Young at the Waco Daily News is threatening to become the next Archer Fullingim.
     He wrote a fun column today about trying to rent a Dixie Chicks movie in Waco.  You will enjoy reading it.

In the Bible, the vision of a burning bush causes Moses to put down everything he's doing and to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.

The charge of which I now speak is not so consuming. Still ...

Though I had earthly chores aplenty, I felt the call to stop everything and open a video rental store in Waco.

The store wouldn't be big. In fact, it would have only one section. Only one film, actually, and one copy of it. Low overhead.

That film: The Dixie Chicks' "Shut Up and Sing."

I was ready to rent it to you and yours.

Because, otherwise you wouldn't be able to rent it in Waco.

     Courage is a rare commodity in today's world, so John worked up enough for him and a road crew or two. 
     Courage in Waco, Texas.  That should restore your faith.

Looks like the Fort Bend County Library system is further behind than Waco!  A search for "Shut Up and Sing" on the library catalog yields this.


I get Comcast and found shut up and sing on the Starz demand  as an early premiere.   


August 16 - Pat Jones from the Hill Country wrote an Ode to Governor Rick Perry and is letting me use it here.  It’s good.  She reminds us: Remembering that "Jesters do oft prove prophets." 


Debonair, Millionaire, Governor GoodHair
seems to be totally unaware
that Texas has spoken,
"Our trust in him is broken."
His plans for corridors and private toll roads
brought us up to Austin by the busloads!
There will be no animal tagging-
no HPV vaccines which we find abhorring.
The sale of the Texas Lottery
is nothing short of tomfoolery!
Lottery funds are for our children and education
certainly NOT for the Macquarie Corporation!
You vetoed HB1892 ... and raped SB792.
You've sold us all out!  It's True-It's True!
Resorting to threats and blackmail?
Go do your worst.  You won't prevail.
Not since we fought off Spain before
have Texans stood so tall, so together, and more.
The future for you holds a dramatic event.
We SEE your breach of trust has fraudulent intent!
So, wear your crown.  Go make a speech.
We will investigate the word

I M P E A C H Pat Jones

     Okay, so how many political not-a-blogs do you know that have odes?  Damn few, I'll bet.

August 16 - Okay, okay, I have really good news for you. 
     Oh, be still my heart.
     Robert Talton has decided to run for Congress.  Crazzzy Bob Talton.  Bob "Brought the Cookies" Talton. 

State Rep. Robert Talton is giving up his seat to run in the increasingly crowded Republican primary for the 22nd Congressional District, as the GOP sets its sights on reclaiming the seat vacated by former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay.

Talton, of Pasadena, sent paperwork Monday to the Federal Election Commission and said he will make a formal announcement after Labor Day.

     I mean, if you told me that Ringling Brother Barnum and Bailey were running their entire costume department for Congress, I would only be slightly happier. 
     And then I drooled coffee all over the morning paper when I read this:

Other Republicans eyeing the seat include Pasadena Mayor John Manlove; family court Judge James Squier; Pete Olson, U.S. Sen. John Cornyn's former chief of staff; and former Sugar Land Mayor Dean Hrbacek, who has formed an exploratory committee.

     If it is true that God does not take away from your allotted time this earth any time spent laughing, I'm gonna add two years to my life this election season.
     And there's Shelley Rodriquez Sekula Gibbs Cougar Mellencamp to add to the fray.  She's the only woman I know who got lost in a voting location.  Hey, it's hard to tell bathrooms from voting booths. 
     You gotta love those Republicans.  This group has more rightwing religious nuts in it than you average teevee evangelical theme park.  We'll see if they treat each other like Christians, huh? 
     I think I've just declared myself the Official Super DeLux Brand Christian Republican Primary Scorekeeper for the 22nd Congressional District.  I think I'll set up a special website for it.
     Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Bob Talton.

August 15 - You are not going to believe this

The day after Alberto Gonzales and Andrew Card ran to John Ashcroft's hospital room to have him overrule acting attorney general James Comey's determination that the administration's warrantless surveillance program was illegal, the White House gave a briefing on the super-secret program to none other than Tom DeLay.

     They are telling a durn crook about their secret plans.  Don't they know that Tom would have sold that information to the terrorists for a round of golf, a bottle of wine, a steak dinner and two hookers in a hot tub? 
     What was that about?  Were they hoping that Tom knew someone to pull the plug on Ashcroft? 
     I think we have a new scientific principle at work here:  anybody who is up to no good is naturally drawn to Tom DeLay.

August 15 - Okay, the more I look at these travel expense reports, the madder I get. 
     I know it's of absolutely no interest for you folks from foreign states, but somebody around here has to keep a rein on our local greedy Republican elected officials, because they'll steal a dime out of your pocket and file an expense report for the trouble of walking up to you.
     Let me give you some examples of what Super DeLux Brand Christian Republican Commissioner Andy Meyers is asking the taxpayers to reimburse him for his trouble.  Now, remember that we pay him $100,000 a year plus excellent perks, and that he pays himself about $1,000 a month from his tax-free campaign account for his cars, gas, maintenance and insurance.
     Here goes ---
     23 miles ($11.50) to "drive to Richmond to meet with Commissioner Stavinoha."  Hey, Stavinoha, drive to Andy's office next time!
     56 miles ($28) to "review traffic problems on Harlem Road."  Good Lord, Andy, Harlem Road is only about 6 miles long.  How many times did you have to drive up and down that sucker to get a feel for the fact that there's damn traffic on it?
     71 miles ($35.50) to drive to Bay Wood County Club for a "presentation on Legislation."  You're not a legislator, Andy; you're a commissioner.  What the tarnation are you doing?
     38 miles ($16) to drive to Rosenberg "to deliver lunches to senior citizens."  Now, look what you've done, Andy - you've made little baby Jesus cry.  Don't you have a charitable bone in your body, you greedy old goat.
     26 miles ($13) to drive to Richmond for "groundbreaking for the new jail."  Okay, so we have to pay you to get your picture in the newspaper.  Now you've made me cry.
     And it goes on and on.
     I don't think we should have to pay him to go places that are not required for his job, like a Museum Association Golf Tournament ($18.)
     For the first 4 months of this year, we have paid him $1,366 in mileage for things like this.  Think about that the next time you pay your taxes.

     Coming next - Self proclaimed "independently wealthy" Republican County Judge Bob Hebert, spending your money like you are, too!

I think you're right about Andy driving 26 hours a day.  Reminds me of an old lawyer joke:

The attorney is surprised to find himself standing before St. Peter. "What did I die of?"

St. Pete looks down at his book," Old age."

"Impossible!" the shyster retorted.  "I'm only 46!"

St. Pete looks back at his book, flips a page, and looks back at the lawyer:

"Says here, according to your 'billable hours', you're 92."


Susan, I wonder how many miles Andy is claiming on his income tax, hoping the tax man, the county auditor and the Texas ethics commission never meet.  Why would they?  Unless they all three go to the same beauty shop.

Thanks for doing this.


August 15 - Lord, I love Texas.  We've got heat and hurricanes all at once.  We do it on purpose - it culls the herd. 

    That me on the coast there, waving at ya.  Wave back, ya hear?

August 14 - Okay, you guys, here's Republican County Commissioner Andy Meyer's mileage reports. 
     He's the only county commissioner I know who asks for mileage refunds.  The rest of them figure that $70,000 of the $100,000 a year we pay them ought to be giftwrapped.
     You are going to shiver like a snake's crawling up your pants leg when you see that we have to pay his mileage to go to lunch on "county business" at the Outback Steakhouse.  Or, that we pay him to come to work each Tuesday.  And he wants to be reimbursed for going to Chamber of Commerce Meetings at Safari Texas. 
     There's more.  I just wanted to get them online so you could help me look for the absurdities. 
     And remember, he already pays himself $1,000 a month from his tax-free campaign account for his cars and gas and insurance.
     Here's October and November of last year in PDF format.
     And here's January - March of this year.
     I'll get the rest of this year as soon as he files them.
     Have fun and let me know what you think.
     Here's the first thing I think:  Andy cannot afford that Cadillac he's driving. 

     Of note:  There's more fun and adventures of Andy and Bob on taxpayer money coming soon.
     Everybody thank David for putting these suckers in PDF format for me.


I've only looked at one page so far but I am furious for having to pay for Andy to drive to a gala for Houston mayor Bill White.  What does that have to do with county bidness? 

I'm ascared to look again until I get my blood pressure medicine refilled.


74 miles to "review conditions" in Richmond.  He doesn't even represent Richmond.  What the hell he is reviewing?  Did he stop by your house?  Did he review you? 

Hey Zeus

August 14 - Jim gives us the heads-up on Tom on Karl on Fox.

Former Rep. Tom DeLay warned Tuesday that Democrats shouldn't be so quick to rejoice about Karl Rove's resignation because the revered and reviled political strategist isn't going to shrink back into the shadows.

"He's not dying. ... He's not just going to go away; he'll still be around," DeLay said in an interview of Fox News Tuesday morning. "In fact, I think he'll be more powerful than ever, because he'll be involved in a lot of campaigns, I'm sure. He'll be an adviser to a lot of sitting elected officials. He'll be bigger than ever."

     Yeah, Tom, 'cuz you were soooo right about everything else.  Hey, if Tom tells you it's Easter don't buy no egg dye until you check the calendar.  That's my advice for today.
     But Tom, Dude, it's nice of you to speak highly of Karl since you two will probably end up cellmates before this thing is over with.

August 14 - My friend, Steve at White's Creek, tells a great story of meeting a blue hero.

As I waited for my bag to come out of the little door that fed the conveyor belt of happiness for airline travelers awaiting their baggage, I admired the solid body electric Gibson guitar in the glass case.

Life is a song, played in the key of the moment...A wondrous thing to listen to.

     Go enjoy it all.

August 14 - Okay, Bluerumpers, I'm busy working on a little project.  I requested and got the travel expenses for the past 6 months for our two greediest elected officials, who also happen to be our most vicious ankle-biting Republicans - Commissioner Andy Meyers and County Judge Bob Hebert.
     I got them yesterday.  I want to thank both the auditor's office and the county attorney's office for their help and prompt response to my request.  They were helpful, professional, and did a great job.
     If you recall, I kinda pitched a snot-nosed hissy fit over Andy charging his campaign account - which is nothing more than kickbacks at taxpayer's expense - for 1,200 mile of travel in six months.
     Well, Andy's driving fetish gets worse.  I just discovered that from October 2 through December 8 of last year, Republican Commissioner Andy Meyers charged the taxpayers of this county $1,144 in mileage to go to the county fair, drive to work on Tuesdays, and some other stuff that you're flat not going to believe.  That's just for 2 months, my friends. 
     Here's little preview to keep you busy while I try to figure out how to get the rest of this uploaded and making some sense.  Click the little Andy mileage to get the big Andy mileage.

     We also will be doing Mr. Bob goes to Washington - on your dime!
     Damn, this is more fun than recess in heaven! 


Can mileage be charged, if he is using a car bought for his campaign?  And is he also charging gas fillups separately?

Mileage to me should only be charged if he is using his personal car filled up with gas paid by him personally?  Correct?

And knowing you, I'll bet you have a way to check.......:)

Thanks for being so dedicated, we love you for it!


NOTE FROM SUSAN:  Cheryl, I dunno.  He uses the county car for his many trips to Austin to pester the Lege (when he goes, it raises the average IQ level for both the Lege and Fort Bend County). 
     I'm getting to the point where I figure he's driving somewhere 26 hours a day.  I mean, we pay the old goat $100,000 a year - he can't afford to buy his own gas to come to work? 
     He doesn't have to account for his campaign car expenditures, so I'm figuring that the best way to do this is to give it to the IRS and let them sort it out. 
     He's broken several of my jewel-toned pocket calculators over the years. 
     By the way, if he comes to your house, check his pockets before he leaves. 

August 14 - Thank you, Tom Toles.

August 13 - Yes, Texas is really, really doomed.  First, Karl Rove is coming here to live and then this

When I posted about Don McLeroy, a creationist who the Texas governor just appointed to head the State Board of Education, I knew the situation was serious. Following in the bleak tradition of this current White House of making sure you appoint the absolute worst 180-degree-wrong person for a job, McLeroy seems to be the perfect candidate: he thinks the Universe is 6000 years old, he thinks evolution is wrong, he wants to bring religion into the classroom, he honestly thinks abstinence-only sex education is a good idea.

On his own this guy would just make me sad. But as the head of the BoE, he is dangerous. He wants to brainwash kids. And his ideas would make someone’s from the Dark Ages appear quaint.

     Thanks to Bad Astronomy for the heads-up and to Dave for letting me know that my home is doomed, doomed, doomed. 
     I've got an odd feeling that next you're gonna tell me that chili has been banned from Texas. 
     By the way, I sat down at lunch and turned on MSNBC.  Right on the electric teevee, I saw Karl Rove crying.  Crying.  Son of a motherless goat, he was crying.  Well, now he knows how we've felt for the past 6 years.

A CREATIONIST named to head up the Texas Board of Education?  Indeed, with Karl Rove coming to Texas and this incredible appointment, Texas is doomed.  I'm writing my sister-in-law, who lives Southeast of Dallas by about 100 miles, that we have room for her here in California.
Dave Amos

McLeroy is just what Leininger ordered. Ricky( TV preacher hair) Perry
is an agent of the RR and he will be ramming their agenda down our throat.



August 13 - “Misspoke,” a new Republican word meaning, “I’m way too big an idiot to be President.”
     No, no. no, misspeak is when you say "collar greens" instead of "collard greens."  It can even be when you say "Pig 'em" instead of "Gig 'em."  
     But when you say your sons are serving their country by Winnebagoing across Iowa or that you spent as much time at ground zero as the 911 rescuers, that's called "stoopid."


Misspoke means: I'm a Republican lying sack of bovine metabolic byproducts.


Has anyone looked to see who or what is on top that Winnebago?

Mark, Rural Oregon

August 13 - Oh great, he screws up the entire world and then leaves to spend more time with his family.
     He's coming back to Texas, dammit.  Can't we move that giant wall from the south border to north, east, and west borders real quick?

Rove is setting up to find the next messiah for the "Religious Wrong". Also getting out of Washington will help a little if Democrats go after him (which they should).

Paul is padding his retirement account. When he quits politics he gets to keep all the campaign money. After all would make this guy your Doctor.


Hello Susan.

I certainly hope you welcome Mr. Rove back to Texas, because we don't want him in Cheboygan..   :-)

Carl from Cheboygan

August 13 - Our own Ron Paul missed 20% of the votes in Congress to run for President, but only got 9% of the vote in Iowa. Good Lord, that's even behind Tom Tancredo. 
     I dunno.  Seems to me that if you miss 20% of the Congressional votes, you ought to at least break 10% of the popular vote. 

August 12 - Earl sent us this envelope he got from America Votes.  Thank you, Tom DeLay for still raising money for progressive causes!

     Keep yapping, Tom.  We love ya, Babe!

August 12 - Earl also sent us an explanation of the Blue Dog Democrats.  Click the shirt to read the story.

     Earl says, "Notice how particular the Blue Dog Mafia is about screening members, like they're afraid of actually accepting someone who ISN'T lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut?"

From the article:

    The Blue Dogs have apparently informed the Democratic leadership in the House that they support the ongoing occupation of Iraq. According to Mahoney, he met with Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and told her "The president should be free to maintain troops in Iraq, if the purpose is to thwart terrorism."

     Bless Nick Lampson's heart.  No really, bless him.  He actually thinks that Republicans are going to vote for him.  That's just pitiful. 
     I'm not mad at him.  I'm really not.  How can you be mad at someone that gullible and desperate?  It would be like kicking a French poodle. 
     Let's face it - they're not blue dogs.  They're puppies.  Little puppies hiding up under George Bush's porch. 

I wonder who Nick will get to do the ground work this campaign?  I'm disgusted with his support for the war, his vote for the new intelligence bill and innumerable other errors of judgment.  I'm going to do what I can to get our Democrat organization to distance themselves from him and hope those of you in Fort Bend will do the same.   We need Democrats who vote like Democrats.

Sam in Pearland

August 11 - (On edit: Oops, I was right the first time around.  It's a joke.)  I thought it was a joke. It’s not. You just gotta go read this letter to the editor of the Arkansas-Democrat-Gazette.

You may have noticed that March of this year was particularly hot. As a matter of fact, I understand that it was the hottest March since the beginning of the last century. All of the trees were fully leafed out and legions of bugs and snakes were crawling around during a time in Arkansas when, on a normal year, we might see a snowflake or two. This should come as no surprise to any reasonable person. As you know, Daylight Saving Time started almost a month early this year. You would think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate. Or did they ? Perhaps this is another plot by a liberal Congress to make us believe that global warming is a real threat. Perhaps next time there should be serious studies performed before Congress passes laws with such far-reaching effects.

     Please take note of the headline the editor gave the story.  Even if Connie was trying to be ironic, the editor didn't get it.
     And to think that Ole Bubba and I were pondering on retiring to Hot Springs. I dunno, it still might be fun to go over to Connie’s house and tell her that a plotting liberal has just moved in next door to her.

How  did she live long enough to write this letter? She's a prime example of TSTL(Too Stupid To Live)


Hi Susan,

How are things down there in Texas?

That letter written to the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette is freaking hilarious, but I think Ms. Meskimen was just having some fun with the paper, at least if is to be believed.

Almost inspires me to start sending in snarky letters to my hometown paper, but I don't think I could top the genuine lunatics that generally grace their letters to the editor pages.


August 11 - A big ole heap of good all over Chairman Boyd Richie and the Texas Democratic Party for continuing to hold the State's feet to the fire over e-Slate voting machines. According to the Quorum Report (subscription only) Judge Sam Sparks appears to be wanting to remove straight ticket voting.

He [Sparks] also suggested that the dispute could be resolved simply by removing the straight ticket option from the voting machines. When Wilson countered that only the Legislature could make those changes to the ballot, Sparks cut in to suggest that he had that power as well.

Sparks’ decision on whether to dismiss the suit remains pending.

     Sounds like Sparks gettin' a little froggy.  Hummm .... where's John Cornyn and his threats to activist judges now that we really need him?
     Look, I was against those e-Slate suckers when Republican County Commissioners Tom Stavinoha and James Patterson, along with County Judge Bob Hebert, shoved them down our throats with one public hearing where the public hated them, too.
     It would have been easier to just burn a big ole pile of money. Those machines are e-Crap and everybody knows it.

August 10 - Do you know how you can tell that you’re a Republican?  If you outsource your protesting.
     One of Texas’ finest district court judges, The Righteously Honorable Susan Criss of Galveston, had a fundraiser last night in her race for the Texas Supreme Court. 
     Protestors showed up.  About a dozen of them.  With signs. 

      Judge Criss was stunned.  She’s wildly popular in Galveston and certainly didn’t expect this on her home turf. 
     When confronted about why they didn’t like Judge Criss, the protestors said they didn’t know anything about her but they had been hired to come and hold up these signs.  They refused to say who hired them. 
     They work at a temp agency.  They also volunteered that they’re conservatives.  Conservatives, working at a temp agency, holding up signs.  Makes you wonder what they’re trying to conserve, huh?
     Anyway, this all reminded me of the Republican protest here my county last year that backfired like a 57 Chevy on regular.  It was all over the media and made them look like the mean, vicious, hateful nincompoops that they are.
     I guess the Republicans learned something from that – hire people to look like idiots for you. 
     Come to think of it, I guess that explains the whole Michael Brown, Donald Rumsfeld, and Paul Wolfowitz thing. 
     There’s more photos coming this afternoon and I’ll add them here.  If you recognize any of the people in these photos, please offer them honest work.  Click the little one to get the big one.

     Republicans:  Hiring people to protest for them.
     Send a few bucks to Judge Susan Criss.  If she’s got them this upset this early out, she’s a keeper!


This tactic is so old it even has a name, "Astroturf," denoting an artificial grassroots popular movement versus a genuine grassroots popular movement.  You can do this either by paying people to show up as a rent-a-mob, or sending Republican staffers and activists down to a Democratic press conference to make it look like any Democrats found wandering East of the Brazos River are regarded by "just folks" as illegal aliens.


   Whoever hired those people should look closely at the photos you posted -- especially this one:

That guy with the straw hat isn't protesting -- he's checkin' out the sandals on the young lady next to him. (I'm sure it's the sandals he's looking at.)

Don A.

August 10 - Fire Dog Lake announces that their Blue America will have Rick Noriega online tomorrow at 1:00 Texas Time. 
     Y'all head on over and meet Rick tomorrow - he's the only candidate I have ever endorsed at the website.  You'll find the reason for that when you meet him.
     Bush's pet, John Cornyn, needs to go.  Badly.  Or he can go goodly, I don't care, he just needs to go.

Susan, Honey!

I know you didn't mean to do this, but--there's no such thing as "Texas Time."  You have left out the bluest part of the state, which is in the Mountain Time Zone.  Noriega doesn't need to lose any votes cuz the rest of the state keeps forgetting about the Western-most part.

I noticed that Howie Klein and C&L passed along this same misconception.


August 9 - I have not hit the panic button, but I have had one installed.
     Assistant District Attorney Mike Elliott has a gun.  You know, Temper Boy, bang-bang. 
     And he’s toting it at the courthouse. 

     You know, the Assistant DA who was investigated for wife-whackin'.

     I can promise you that it’s gonna look like a Quentin Tarantino movie before this is
all over with.
     Neither you nor I can tote a gun at the courthouse even if we have the proper license.  We have to walk almost nakkid through a metal detector and get ourselves searched to get into the courthouse.  But the State Lege, in its infinite bad judgment, has decided that assistant district attorneys can pack a pistol.  I suspect they didn’t count on Ragin' Mike being an assistant district attorney.
     On top of that, we’ve got newly elected county court at law judge Bud Childers packing heat on the bench, proving that Peter Gent in North Dallas Forty was right about guns – they’re just an extension of a man’s chacha for men who need that kind of thing. 
     Now, we already have highly trained law enforcement professionals in each courtroom, known as bailiffs.  You gotta go through metal detectors so sensitive that my underwire bra makes it sing like Beyonce Knowles.  You gotta tuck in your shirt to get into the courthouse just so they can see if you’re carrying anything.  It used to be the safest place in the county until they let Mike and Bud carry a shootin' iron.
     I don’t know about you, but if I had to be in Judge Bud Childers’ court with ADA Mike Elliott, I’d make a trip to Sammin’ Sammy’s Full Body Armor and Pre-Planned Funerals Emporium.  Somebody accidentally smacks their chewing gum, and between those two yahoos, even the bailiff will end up filled with more lead than a sinker factory. 
     Look, ain't against guns.  I'm against idiots with guns.

This is a big mistake. Now the defendants know where to go to get a gun.

If you had a choice: Bailiff or Candy Ass attorney, who would you attack?


August 9 - Well, well, well, the wonder of it all.
     Fort Bend County taxpayers are getting a small refund from PBS&J, the Florida engineering company that has left a slime trail across the country by overcharging taxpayers.
     I'd be willing to bet a brand new shiny nickel that this wouldn't have happened if Bob Dunn hadn't exposed a few errant campaign contributions from PBS&J to our county commissioners. 

August 9 - I'm not sure whether to file this under good news or bad news. 
     Ron Paul, one of our three Congressvarmints from this county, seems to be waaaay too busy running for President instead of representing his district
     He has missed 20% of the votes during the current Congress
     Seems like somebody could just reach over and vote NO for him when he's gone.  Nobody would know the difference. 

August 9 - David brings us one of those slap on the forehead moments, and a real crowd pleaser!

The KGB Report at notices Condoleezza Rice's answer to a question about her plans after serving in the Bush administration as national security adviser and secretary of state:

"I don't know what I'll do long term. I'm a terrible long-term planner. I was. ..."

Which seems to explain a great deal.


Then again, either someone transposed a couple of words, or our rights are starting to fight back.


August 8 - Reason # 842 of Why Republicans Make Me Want to Grit My Teeth.
     Governor Mitt Romney’s five grown sons did not make the “choice” to serve in the military, but Romney is all over the surge like white on rice. 

He added: "One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president."

Romney's five sons range in age from 37 to 26 and have worked as real estate developers, sports marketers and advertising executives. They are now actively campaigning for their father and have a "Five Brothers" blog on Romney's campaign Web site.

Romney noted that his middle son, 36-year-old Josh, was completing a recreational vehicle tour of all 99 Iowa counties on Wednesday and said, "I respect that and respect all those and the way they serve this great country."

     There’s a word for 36 year old man doing a “recreational vehicle tour” – unemployed freeloader.  Well, that’s two words.  Heck, let’s go for it all – Spoiled Brat in Daddy’s Motor Home.  Let me ask you this – if he burns himself on the three-burner stove in the recreational vehicle, does he get a Purple Heart and a set of prosthetic cajones?
     Read that stuff again – real estate developers, sports marketers and advertising executives.  That’s just what the word needs, more real estate developers, sports marketers and advertising executives.  Good Lord, none of those boys has ever had a real job in their lives. 
     The Gulf War Vet who used to live in my house says your sons are a herd of woosies, Governor.  And he can give you the names of some guys in Baghdad who'd like to finish their tour of duty on your recreational vehicle. 
     Yeah, and like Paris Hilton is serving her country by spending her Daddy's money.

Gawd!  I love YouTube.  How many times in the past have we heard politicians say the words were taken out of context, or were inaccurate.  See and hear for yourself what Romney said about his sons.
There is, of course, an additional irony.  We are fighting a war in Iraq to preserve access to Middle Eastern oil.  There is the matter of global warming.  And the Romney family drives around in a Winnebago. 


Miss Susan -
From my pal Karen:
{Romney] added: "One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president."
Yeah!  And I'm helping support our nation by drinking California wine....because I think it's great wine.  Is there anybody in the GOP running for PREZ with a double-digit IQ?


More on the Romney debacle, damn fool released the tape himself!  To try to take the heat off he's attacking Giuliani on immigrants.  But the story is like stink on a hog.

I've always admired the way Al Gore served in Vietnam.  He didn't want to go, coulda gotten out of it, but his daddy, the liberal Senator Gore, told him he was facing a real tough re-election campaign and, "Son, I need you in uniform to help me out."  Did his daddy have to ask him twice? He did not.  And while Gore's service wasn't all that heroic, it can at least be said that he put in an appearance--more than most, less than some.  His Father lost just the same, but  the Son's conscience was clear, and it demonstrated that he's a man of principle--family first.

This came back to him, too.  During the furor over the 2000 recount a Republican mob gathered outside the Vice President's Residence to use intimidation tactics to demoralize Gore.  His daughter Karena got madder than a wet hen: "Why aren't we fighting BACK?  And where are OUR crowds?" 


August 8 - Earl's got news.

Hi Susan,

Did you happen to get a piece of direct mail from America Votes?  They're taking Tom DeLay's name in vain.  On the front of the envelope they've got printed: "WHY IS TOM DELAY SO AFRAID OF AMERICA VOTES?" with a big graphic of DeLay's ugly mug.  It is priceless!  They took a photo and turned it into a the kind of graphic that can be rubber-stamped.  They've turned Terrible Tom into a fetish.

I got a kick over the image of Mrs. Thompson running her husband's campaign from the kitchen table.  Is he a presidential candidate or an Amway Distributor?  He'd probably make more money with Amway, considering how his fundraising is going.  God help us if the Republicans ever find a candidate with real character--never mind, they wouldn't know what to DO with one.


August 8 - Well, I guess this helps explain why I’m proud to be a donkey. 
     Let this serve as a warning to all those so-called “Blue Dog Democrats.”

In short, horses, donkeys, mules, and zebras loathe the company of dogs, wolves and their coyote cousins, and they are not too nice about it either, Gersbach said.

Donkeys, the most intolerant of the family, will "attack and kick" coyotes and dogs, Gersbach said.

"They will bray, run them down, bite them, and either chase them off, or if they get the chance, they will kick them, and they will pound them."

     You know you’re a real Texan when you still read the agri-business news in the morning, even though you haven’t had a horse in the past 20 years. 

August 7 -It's nice to know that a Congressvarmint from Texas is stepping up to fill Tom DeLay's Crazy Talkin' shoes.
     Smokin' Joe Barton, who puts the No in North Texas, is just flat refusing to give up his Chevy Tahoe.  First he says it's because he has a GM plant in his district, like Tahoes are all GM makes and then he says he needs some speed for his security detail. 
     Spend three minutes of your time grinning

August 7 - Thank you, Ann Telnaes for knowing a weenie when you see one ---

August 6 - The Washington Post did a story on Jeri Kehn Thompson, Fred Thompson’s wife.  Jeri Thompson offers excellent promise as a humorist's day off.
     There are some people who call her a trophy wife, but I can’t imagine what a guy would have to win to get her. 
     The story, which tactfully explains her lack of “career goals” in her earlier life, also mentions a pile of financial troubles she got herself into. 
     But the best line in the story came when Kehn first started dating Thompson and she pitched a money-making proposition to him ….

     On Aug. 5, 1997, Kehn sent Thompson's Senate office a 12-page proposal to "design, develop, host and maintain a world-class multimedia Web site" at a cost of $45,000 per year. As her qualification for the contract, Kehn cited her job at a small Nashville firm that provided daily news summaries to health-care companies.

Two weeks later, Thompson's staff sharply rejected the proposal, according to memos located by the Memphis Commercial Appeal in the Thompson Senate archives, stored at the University of Tennessee. "I consider this project technically vague and stunningly overpriced," a staff member wrote.

     Yeah, kinda like Kehn herself – technically vague and stunningly overpriced.
     You gotta love that line.  You just gotta.

August 6 - Peggy in Pearland wanted to make sure we knew about this.

The GAO says that, of some 185,000 assault rifles and 170,000 pistols that the Pentagon says it supplied to the Iraqi security forces, it can account for less than half: there is a discrepancy of 110,000 in the case of AK-47s, and 80,000 pistols.

The gaps in the figures for body armour and helmets are even bigger - only 80,000 out of a total of 215,000 sets of body armour accounted for, and only 25,000 out of 140,000 helmets.

     Now I want you to close your eyes and consider for just a minute what would be happening if this had gone on during the Clinton Administration.  Rush Limbaugh would be screaming so loud that you wouldn't need a radio to hear him.  Maybe drugs to understand him, but no radio to hear him.
     So now Iraq looks like a West Texas Gun Show with no age limit and a lot of people who hate us. 

August 6 - Yo!  Duck!

One part of the Justice Department mess that requires more scrutiny is the growing evidence that the department may have singled out people for criminal prosecution to help Republicans win elections. The House Judiciary Committee has begun investigating several cases that raise serious questions. The panel should determine what role politics played in all of them.

     You know what would be poetic justice?  If the Blue Dog Democrats who voted pansy (yeah, I'm calling you weenies) for the FISA bill suddenly found themselves on the pointed end of an investigation stick whittled by the Gonzales Justice Department.
     They'd have a hard time finding sympathy.

August 5 - Oh sweet irony.  Here's a paragraph to smirk over ---

WASHINGTON – There's no official word yet that SMU will host President Bush's library, but federal officials are shopping in Dallas for space to store his papers and collectibles – enough to fill a large-size supermarket.

     A large-size supermarket.  How befitting a President who sold this country piece by piece.

     I found a place to park the Bush Bookmobile. 

August 5 - Friends on the road again ---

August 5 - We get email about the ethical extortion Congressman Nick Lampson plays with Democrats.

One of the Members of Congress who voted to give the Administration more warrentless wire tapping/spying power.  How did we ever exist in this country, through many, many wars, without having to re-do everything from the FISA Court, to the Bill of Rights?
Could somebody please ask Nick, if he remembers his Oath of Office?. 
You know - the one about Preserve, Protect and Defend the Constitution of the United States.
Or did he just write his own -- to preserve, and protect his own a**.

     And when the Democrats of the 22nd ask Lampson why the hell they should vote for him, he responds that at least he's better than a Republican.
     Well, yeah, and I suppose that tuberculosis is better than leprosy, but I don't have to purposefully expose myself to either one.


On Nick Lampson's record, Progressive Punch gives him an overall Progressive rating of 75.07%.  Most recently he voted the wrong way on the Spy Bill and the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, to extend the pay discrimination filing deadline--but the right way on troop rest and the CHIP Bill.  You can check his Progressive record on 14 different categories here (I think they count votes he cast in his old district as well, since he's a newbie):

And here's John Cornyn's record.  He rates a 2.76% Progressive rating, making him 99th out of 100 Senators!  You can check his Progressive rating on the 14 categories here:

Hope this helps to put things in perspective.


     I'm not asking for 100% progressive.  The other Democrat representing our county, Al Green, has a 90% rating.  That'll do.
     Also, Lampson's high labor union rating came from his past in Congress when he represented a safe pro-labor district. 

I know she's not yours, but I figger you'll be proud of her anyway. And that Lampson fella? One of the most blatant bait-and-switch jobs I've ever seen in politics. "At least I'm not a Republican"? What the hell kinda crap excuse is that?
Rich in Shelbyville KY

Note from Susan:  That's my Momma's Congresswoman.  Momma wants to know why Daddy fought WWII if we were going to give Alberto Gonzales our Bill of Rights anyway. 


I consider any Democrat who voted for this POS a traitor to the
Constitution,  the country, the people and their party.



August 4 - Okay, I'm not saying that I have better friends than you do, but did one of your friends bring you this hat back from vacation in Montana?
     I didn't think so.

     That was probably the coolest thing in all of Montana.  Thank you, Geri and Bev.

August 3 - If you're still following the Republican Congressman "Tough-on-Crime" Ted Poe's campaign finance mess, you'll be bland to know that the FEC found he did violate regulations but they are not going to do anything about it.

WASHINGTON — The Federal Election Commission concluded Wednesday that Republican U.S. Rep. Ted Poe's campaign had "materially misstated" its financial activities during his 2004 defeat of Democratic incumbent Nick Lampson, but the agency will seek no penalty.

After FEC auditors found that the Poe campaign had wrongly reported its contributions, spending and cash on hand during the race, the commission appeared satisfied by the filing of amended finance reports to correct the misstatements.

     No penalty. 
     So, if I rob a bank and get caught, all I have to do is admit I did it and fill out the proper paperwork?

Miss Susan -
The last paragraph of the news report:
"But the commission did not approve a finding that the campaign violated election regulations. Poe attorney Donald McGahn II argued that forcing the campaign to keep the records [my emphasis] would amount to "a rewriting of the commission's regulations."

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot - over?



August 3 - Don't you just hate it when your friends go on vacation and send you pictures of themselves on the beach with one of those pineapple drinks while you're stuck in the heat working?
     Well, I have better friends than you do.
 My friend Judy was driving between Memphis and Nashville and took this vacation picture. 
     Her only comment accompanying the picture?  "We gotta get us one of these guys!"

     Dude, you could make a fortune in Texas!

August 2 - Reason #769 why Republicans are really hacking me off:  Bonuses at the FDA.
     The bonuses were paid during a shortage of flu vaccine, embarrassing recalls of the pain-relieving drug Vioxx, and malfunctioning heart defibrillators. Throughout, the agency repeatedly insisted that it lacked the resources to conduct adequate food and drug inspections.
     So, Republicans decided that the solution to not having a good FDA was the same solution Republicans have for any problem:  more money for their friends.

"FDA officials have raided the U.S. Treasury of $10 million a year, not to hire more inspectors or better compensate the field personnel working to protect us from botulism and E. coli, but to award each other $50,000 bonuses," Dingell said. "Given their recent performance, I doubt the taxpayers would agree that FDA management officials deserve an extra dime, much less tens of thousands of dollars."

Some Republicans also expressed concern. "Somehow the FDA has institutionalized the open till, and some of their least distinguished bureaucrats seem to be grabbing as much as they can. When all you have to do for $30,000 or $40,000 is send in a note saying 'Pay up,' something's rotten," said Rep. Joe L. Barton of Texas, the ranking Republican on Dingell's committee.

     Look, Smokin’ Joe Barton can barely see lightening or hear thunder so when he knows something is wrong, something is goofy wrong. 
     Meanwhile, we're croakin', getting bad drugs and food, while Republicans are feeding their fat cats deep fried butter with whipped cream on top.  

August 2 - Uh oh.  Another Republican radio head is dipping in the pain pills again.
     Michael Savage went on the electric radio and said that a Democratic conspiracy caused the Chief Justice to have a seizure.  And, of course, a Republican conspiracy caused me to have an earache.  Here’s his words.

 Am I to believe that there's no connection between Charles Schumer on Friday saying that he would never appoint, or never, excuse me, approve another Bush appointment to the court, to any court? And then the chief justice suffers a so-called seizure two days later? You're telling me there's no possibility of a conspiracy by the Democrats to have caused this seizure in some manner?

    You Republicans need to get your talking heads off drugs.  Or your drugs off your talking heads.
     Seriously, if I could give John Roberts anything, it wouldn’t be a seizure.  It’d be a heart. 

August 2 - Honey, if I say it's Christmas, you better go buy some little twinkling lights.
     As I predicted last week, Tom DeLay's adorable adventure into Screwyville could only mean one thing - something really bad was fixing to happen to him and he was trying to distract you.
     Uh huh.  Yep

In an unusual move, the state prosecuting attorney has joined Travis County prosecutors in asking the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals to reverse itself and reinstate an indictment against former U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Sugar Land.

State Prosecuting Attorney Jeffrey Van Horn filed a friend of the court brief saying the court erred in not upholding a conspiracy indictment against DeLay. Van Horn is appointed by the Court of Criminal Appeals and usually represents the state in appeals brought from counties with understaffed district attorney's offices.

     So now Tom DeLay can't whine his mantra that it's just Horrible Ole Ronnie Earle out to get him.  By the way, the Court of Criminal Appeals who appointed Van Horn is 100% Republican. 
     Write this down somewhere:  If Tom talks nuts it's because he knows that something bad is coming out about him.  It's not just an observation -it's the law.

August 1 - Girlfriends, remember when you were in high school and your Momma told you to hide your money in your brassiere? 
     Turns out that's not such a good idea.

A Richmond woman has complained to police that someone stole 18 “rocks of crack cocaine” and $190 in cash from inside her bra while she was fighting with another person over a stolen stereo.

     Which brings up another story from my hometown that I probably haven't told you yet.
     Back about 10 years ago, a Richmond woman had her purse stolen.  There's not much news around here so it made the local paper, including the following statement:  "The victim reports that the purse contained $18 in cash and $190 in make-up."
     I'd lie.  I would.  I would never admit that it took $190 worth of make-up just to keep me going through the day.  Never.  I'd say, "a tube of lipstick in Perfect Pink and a nail file."  Then I'd just shuddup. 
     As I've said before today, money is one thing but respect is quite another. 
     Anyway, most of us admit that for 10 years we've had a hard time looking at that woman without going, "honey, honey." 

Something similar happened to a City Councilwoman in Alvin several years ago.  They found out she had knowingly taken 10 years off her age on an official form.  She didn't even understand that what she'd done was illegal and could be prosecuted.  And the "everybody does it" defense didn't fly.  They finally worked out a deal where she resigned from the Council and no charges were pressed.  I think they figured that the public humiliation was enough punishment.  To be fair, it must have been a real nightmare for her to be publicly revealed as both vain and stupid--not necessarily in that order.


August 1 - Granny Geek got me shopping this morning, and how I have lived this long without one of these suckers, I will never know.  (Turn down your sound if you're at work.  The "movie" alone will be enough.)
     Think of the fun I could have with my little County Commissioner dolls!  I could line them up and make them beg for mercy.  Beats playing Barbie any day of the week!

August 1 - You know, most of us have noticed that there was a vacuum of leadership in the pro OxyContin abuse area, but thankfully Alberto Gonzales' Justice Department stepped up to fill it
     You can count on those guys to be exactly where you don't need them.  And on time, too.

The night before the government secured a guilty plea from the manufacturer of the addictive painkiller OxyContin, a senior Justice Department official called the U.S. attorney handling the case and, at the behest of an executive for the drugmaker, urged him to slow down, the prosecutor told the Senate Judiciary Committee yesterday.

     I do not know what pictures Alberto has of Bush and Cheney, and I'm durn near positive that I don't want to know, but they've got to involve a combination of farm animals, pvc pipes, and bandanas.  

Now, don't you be givin' PVC pipe a bad name.
Bubba Spudley, C.P.A.

August 1 - I have a good story of Texas interest to tell you. 
     Here in Texas, it’s very obvious that George W. Bush’s teddy bear, Senator John Cornyn, is gonna get beat so badly that he’ll have to unzip his pants to see out. 
     Last weekend, the Democratic County Chair Association met in San Antonio.  Not every county chair is a member of this organization, but enough are to make it nuclear reactor strong.  About 50 of them attended the meeting.  The folks in this particular group are the county chairs who actually work – they are backbone of the Democratic Party.
     On Friday night, State Representative Rick Noriega spoke to the group at dinnertime.  He got a standing ovation after a rip-snortin’ speech that brought the crowd to their feet several times with enough applause to qualify as a good-sized thunderstorm.  He could hardly get out of the room afterwards, posing for pictures and getting enough hugs and backslaps to last a week of Thursdays.   The county chairs were still talking about it the next morning.  That’s the great thing about a Rick Noriega speech – you can sleep with it and still feel good about it the next morning. 
     On Saturday night, Noriega’s probable Democratic opponent, Mikal Watts, played a little different.  Watts hired busses and took the county chairs and their spouses to his El Swanko Hacienda in San Antonio for food with funny names. 
     God love him, all Watts has going for him is that he’s unencumbered by charisma and fresh ideas but has enough money to play the High and Holy Potentate of Consultant Politics.  (I thinking of trademarking that name.)  He Potentated Proud on Saturday night, but it was all sizzle and no bacon.  Oddly, he didn’t even give a speech.   
     At the front door of the Watts’ mansion, the county chairs were encouraged by Watt’s scampering entourage to wear “Watts for Senate” stickers for the evening.  After all, they were partying on his dime.  Of the 60 or so chairs and spouses in attendance, only 3 or 4 of them wore the stickers.  You can buy a lot of things, but other people's lapels weren't one of them that night.    
     Now I know that all the fancy political consultants want Watts to be the winner because Watts has never won an office before, so he needs a slew of highly-paid consultants.  And I know these consultants are kissing his beehind and telling him that he's handsome because like the pavement princesses that they are, they want his money instead of his respect. 
     I’m speaking only for myself, but I want a Senate candidate who can stand on their own, without paid hacks flitting around trying to convince Texas Democrats that the Senate seat is for sale to the highest bidder and we need money more than we need respect.
     Rick Noriega can stand without hitchin’, and Texas Democratic county chairs saw that for themselves. 
     Let us hope that Mikal Watts finds something better to do with his money than feed his own ego and buy friends. 


Your account of the different styles of Rick Noriega and Mikal Watts reminds me of what the Populist orator Mary Elizabeth Lease (1850-1933) told Kansas farmers: "Raise less corn and more Hell!"  Texas Democrats need to raise less money and more Hell.  I seem to remember that Richard Fisher was all bark and no bite when it came to raising money OR Hell.  Sure, let's hit ourselves in the head with a hammer again because Republicans do it all the time--so you KNOW it's the smart thing to do!


Susan Honey,

Real proud of ya.  Rick Noriega isn't just a good Democrat - he's a good American.




Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district.  It's crazy here.  No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans.  They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber. 

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog.  Blogs are way too trendy for me.  I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't. 

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.