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- My favorite columnist and Cranky Austin Dude,
John Kelso, reminds me why Austin should remain weird.
In case you haven't been following along at City
Hall, some City Council members want to make it
illegal for panhandlers to do their thing on roads
and sidewalks, and within 1,000 feet of schools.
When you stop and think about it, aren't toll
roads a high-tech form of panhandling?
Besides, panhandlers working near schools is a
better educational tool than Career Day. Just having
the panhandlers out there looking ugly says, "This
could happen to you if you don't finish your algebra
- Tom DeLay is getting all over my nerves and the
The loneliness and lack of free golf excursions has
caused him to become wildly delusional. He's
prancing around the country like he's got a lick of good
sense, speaking to Young Republican groups.
At one stop he accused Citizens for
Responsibility and Ethics in Washington of
distributing Senator Larry Craig's sex-sting arrest
report to distract from a scandal swirling around
Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton.
So CREW and Hillary Clinton schemed to make Larry Craig
signal for hoochy-koochy in a men's restroom?
Okay, well, that might happen in Tom DeLay's world
except for the fact that ---
Further undercutting DeLay's
assertion is that reports of Norman Hsu questionable
fundraising practices didn't break until a day
after Roll Call broke Craig's story.
only has Tom discarded the theory of evolution, he's
also going to argue with Einstein over the theory of
Look, if Democrats have harnessed time and can turn
back the clock and make things happen the day before
they actually did, I think they would have told me about
it before I had that embarrassing toilet paper stuck on
my shoe incident over at the Mustang Lounge last week.
Democrats like me and they surely would have told me
before they told Tom DeLay.
I just happen to get my hands on
the DeLay Foundation for Kids (frightening
thought, huh?) tax returns for 2006.
Guess who is still on the Board of Directors?
No, seriously. Ed Buckham is still on the Board
of Directors of the DeLay Foundation.
the drill. Click the little one to get the big
Honey, I wouldn't let Buckham near my cutting board,
much less anything to do with money.
I wonder if the Feds know about this.
- Okay, I just got home from the County Fair.
I'm not saying that the Republicans aren't proud of
their President or any of their candidates, but....
Damn, Honey, the Republicans aren't proud of their
President or any of their candidates.
Take a look at this pathetic excuse for a booth on the
busiest darned day of the County Fair ----
empty all day. Nobody manned it. Things were just thrown
around on the table. There was a box stuck over to side
with some flags crumbled-up in it. One candidate,
running for a strong Democratic seat, showed up and
stood there for about 45 minutes. He looked sad.
That was it. All day.
And what's the deal with Gary Gillen putting his name
on the sign? Goodness sake, even Eric Thode didn't
have an ego that big. Gary, you're an elected
official - pay for your own danged sign. Making
the Party pay for your advertising is what makes
Republicans look like chumps who can't stand on their
I'm told by a very reliable source that the Republicans
paid $200 for that sign. The Democrats paid $80
for their's and it's a better sign, but, of course, the
Democrat's sign is union made.
The Democratic booth was proudly manned from noon until
8:00 pm. Most of the afternoon there were 4 people
there, and we sold out of Hillary! buttons by 3:00.
you're around Rosenberg, head on over to the Fair and
visit the Democratic booth. We have Presidential
pins, rally signs, bumper stickers for Clinton, Obama,
Edwards, Richardson, Biden, and Gore, and a couple of
really cool baseball caps.
The Republicans have .... diddle squat.
Hal and I wrote about the same thing without even
talking about it.
He's got more pictures and some idiotic Republican
saying that their booth wasn't staffed because
Republicans work for a living. Go play nicely,
I'm confused about the Republicans not
manning their booth at the fair. They say
it's because they all have jobs, but I
thought the county would let them off for
September 28 -
Holy smokes, we got email all the way from Ann Arbor,
this would amuse you.
Ann Arbor, MI
- Okay, so this doesn't have diddle squat to do with
politics, but if you're a Coen Brothers fan, you'll love
Fargo in 90 seconds.
It's a great way to start a Friday Morning!
County Fair Day
here. Kids are out of school and there's a big
parade down Highway 90. I'm off to the Fairgrounds
for Kettle Corn and Funnel Cake! I'll post some
pictures later today.
September 27 -
Criss is trying to do the durn near impossible -
reform the Texas Supreme Court. If you could toss
a few dollars her way, it would be great for Texas.
We need to get the insurance company pimps off the
I know Susan and I can say this about her. She
was already ten years old and half a judge when she was
born. She'll do us proud.
BOR has a blog entry by her today.
September 27 -
Look, we gave you all our darned oil, now
you want us to glow in the dark for you?
NRG Energy will file an application with
regulators on Tuesday to build two new nuclear
reactors in Texas, the first such request in the
United States in 29 years, the company said Monday.
1,350-megawatt General Electric advanced boiling
water reactors (ABWR) would join two existing
reactors at the South Texas nuclear power plant in
Bay City, Texas, near Houston
just ducky. I move to the country and get stuck
between a coal plant and a nuclear reactor.
Look, I can understand why you folks from foreign
states hate Texas, what with Bush and Rove, and DeLay,
and ... well, we get it. However, we also gave you
Ann, Molly, and Willie Nelson. So, cut us some
27 - Uh huh.
- You know, I've had it up to here with the local
I used to be an Independent and I split my ticket.
But the local Republicans did everything they could to
turn me into a Kiss My Big Blue Butt Democrat.
They finally did it.
And they've done it again.
The Republican Boys on Commissioners Court just added
five new early voting sites.
All in very Republican areas, dammit.
And they're trying to pass it off as increasing early
voting totals. Lyin' worthless petty little sons
of motherless goats. Yeah, adding new Republican
early voting totals.
Local folks will understand that adding new early
voting locations at Pecan Grove, First Colony, Cinco
Ranch, and Mission Bend doesn't come even close to
looking fair. None were added in Precinct 2, the
only Democratic precinct in the county. And
Richmond still doesn't have an early voting location,
even though the courthouse is here.
If they were asking for trouble, they got it. I'm
gonna be all over them like stink on .... stink on a
.... stink on a county commissioner.
You didn't mention that one of the
locations was a Baptist Church. I'm not
opposed to using church facilities in
some cases, but give me a break.
About those early voting locations,
that's just the sort of act that
should raise a big red flag to draw
the attentions of the federal
justice department looking to
enforce the Voting Rights Act. -Oh,
- Okay, this is strictly local, but everyone
might enjoy Boss Bob’s latest antics.
Our county judge here in Fort Bend has an ego he’s
got to push around in a wheelbarrow. Guys like that
tend to blow a lot of hot air, or puff up their resume
in inverse proportion to their …. well, dangle.
Boss Bob is that dangerous mixture of testosterone
and Aqua Velva who does both.
Last year Bob got caught trying to impersonate a
judge. He had to
change his website and calm down his wild-eyed
crazzzy claims that he’s a real judge before the
Judicial Conduct Commission came to pay him an
I need to say here that a county judge is not a
real judge. Our last three county judges in Fort Bend
have not even had college degrees. We haven’t had a
county judge with a college degree since the Republicans
took over, which says something that you probably
already know about Republicans.
And then there’s Boss Bob Hebert, who claimed to
have a PhD. That would be Dr. Boss to you, son.
Boss Bob said on his website that he had a PhD from
California Coast University, obtained in 2004. Now,
I’m not saying that Boss Bob had anything to do with
this, but California Coast University (Whose motto is:
Yeah, well, we’ve never heard of you either.) stopped
offering PhD’s in late 2004, just after Boss Bob got
Well, Boss Bob finally fessed-up that California
Coast University (Go Fighting Seagulls!) is not like,
you know, uh, a real university. It’s not accredited by
anyone except other dollar diploma office buildings who
formed an accreditation group and gave one to each
So, now enter the Internet Tubes.
Boss Bob’s website – click the little one to get
the big one – used to say this
Now it says this ----
Okay, I cannot explain to you how someone got a
Master’s degree without ever getting a Batchelor’s
degree, so I won’t even try.
And, I cannot explain why Boss Bob’s former
company, Eco Resources, where he still holds a fiduciary
can let almost $200,000 be embezzled and nobody gets
indicted for it in over 2 years. Maybe it’s magic.
(More on this later.)
The degree from
Pepperdine University explains a lot.
Pepperdine is a large Church of Christ
school. Church of Christers (I grew up one)
look down on Baptists as being flaming
liberals. If you're not in the C of C,
you're hellbound. You can include John
Cornyn and Ted Poe among their members.
By the way, the head of
the Pepperdine law school?
I too am wondering about
the Eco Resources "event." I'm sure
you've heard all the rumors about why this
woman's case hasn't even been brought to the
grand jury. It's the worse kept secret
Boss Bob could also become
PhD Minister for merely $119.95 (for the
deluxe package.) Maybe we shouldn't
tell him that he can become
Doctor of the Universe for only $29.00
and it doesn't even require a test!!!!!
I’ve got to get me one of those PhD
You’d think people in public life
wouldn’t leave themselves open to
ridicule, but for some reason they
always think they can pull a fast one on
us. I spent nearly 30 years working in
the public sector and have known a
boatload of elected officials. Many are
very smart, dedicated people – but some
others are as dumb as a box of hair and
determined to prove it.
26 - Thank you Mike Luckovich ----
I enjoy your site/blog! (My brother turned
me on to it back when you were Juanita's.
Our mother was a Texan ..Sulfur Springs
area.....so we are at least
half-Texan....and though we never lived
among you.....we've enjoyed our visits!)....
Anyway....I live in the deep Red State of
Georgia, in a deep Red County
(Gwinnett)...and as you know....it "ain't"
I thought you might like to see what the
Newt is up to in his home state.
came this week (PDF format)....Sorry I
couldn't send it in all it's red, white, and
blue glory....but you get the idea.
No, I'm not planning to attend.
Yellow Dog Democrat
September 26 -
You know you're probably not going anywhere today if
this is parked in front of your house ---
---- and this is at the end of your
progress comes to the original
Stephen F. Austin settlement. We're getting a
September 25 -
Okay, I'm from Texas, where we are aficionados of
bad taste. I mean, we invented big hair, the
leisure suit, and the
That pretty well insured us the title of Tacky
Connoisseurs for a decade or two.
Along come Rudy Giuliani. If you thought
answering your cell phone in the middle of a speech was
in poor taste, you ain't seen nothing yet ---
A supporter of Rudy Giuliani's is throwing a
party that aims to raise $9.11 per person for the
Republican's presidential campaign.
Abraham Sofaer is having a fundraiser at his Palo
Alto, Calif., home on Wednesday, when Giuliani
backers across the country are participating in the
campaign's national house party night.
But Sofaer said he had nothing to do with the
"$9.11 for Rudy" theme.
"There are some young people who came up with
it," Sofaer said when reached by telephone Monday
evening. He referred other questions to Giuliani's
hate to lose our title, but this puts tacky to shame.
Try as we might, we can't even come close to this.
- Sometimes you just gotta to step back from the
horror of politics and eat something, dammit.
And, as Average Betty says, "Well, you gotta start
burrito time at Average Betty's. TK's bringing
the Margaritas and Betty's got the handcuffs and pole.
That's a party anywhere in America.
I'm still laughing...the pole references,
and the razor blades, that Betty! I can
relate to a burrito crisis. The closest
thing we had to Mexican food up in Bahstin
was Jack in the Box, and y'all know how
disgusting THAT is. Marrying a Los Angelean
took care of that for me. He still can whip
up a mean burrito!
September 24 - Mike lets us know that our other
favorite Republican, David Snyder
of Roseland, is
back in the pokey where he belongs.
Roseland Town Council member
David Snyder was ordered back to jail this morning
for not following a magistrate’s order to obtain
work and make regular child support payments.
David's beginning to sound like a country-western song,
Republican men: making weird seem normal.
September 24 -
Our friend Doyle from Nacogdoches has moved his rump to
Oregon. He reports it's a nice place to live.
I'm having a rash of friends moving to either Vermont
or Oregon. I don't know why, but I suspect that
Rick Perry has something to do with it.
Anyway, Doyle sent us this heads-up on
a U.S. Attorney that they DIDN'T fire.
DETROIT -- A U.S. Justice
Department official has been arrested on suspicion
of traveling to Detroit over the weekend to have sex
with a minor.
John David R. Atchison, 53, an assistant U.S.
attorney from the northern district of Florida, was
arraigned in U.S. District Court in Detroit Monday
An undercover officer posed as a mother offering her
child to Atchison for sex, according to police.
of course, is a registered Republican.
24 - Oh, be still my heart.
Newt Gingrich thinks he should be President.
You remember Newt Gingrich, the guy who Bill Clinton
beat up so badly that he had to look out his ear hole to
see anything for a couple of a years.
Newt says he can beat the Clinton machine. Well,
he's had some experience at tryin', but not at succeedin'.
Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich will begin
next week to seek financial commitments from donors
for a presidential-nomination bid, the Georgia
Republican told The Washington Times yesterday.
If he can get pledges for $30 million over the
next three weeks, he will join the Republican
presidential-nomination race — a prospect he had
been downplaying until yesterday.
I am pretty sure the Republican nominee will
be the white guy who cheated on his wife and
Sam in Pearland
- UPDATED: Patrick sends us the worst news
we've had since George Bush was re-elected.
It's added fuel for a burning nightmare I've been
having for a long time.
twits at Townhall say a Giuliani / Perry ticket for '08
might be taking shape.
For you folks from foreign states, if you like Bush,
you'll love Perry. Perry is Bush, but
UPDATE: Even the
Houston Chronicle is speculating about it this
Giuliani has figured out that
the public has rejected Bush/Cheney as
Dumb/Mean. He thinks he can win with Perry
by just reversing the order. I'll bet he
already has the "I'm with stoopid" tshirt
picked out for the convention.
Giuliani and Perry????
Heh, and you think there is crazzziness
in the WH now? Between Perry's crazzy,
Super Deluxe Brand Christian friends
here in Texas and Rudy's Catholic Mob
friends in NYC/NJ, the SS will be very
busy at the WH. But if we could get
cameras in the State Dining room - it
might be worth it. THAT would make a
great Realty TV show.
And the Newt? The best
part of that campaign would be the
hypocrisy ads Move-On.com will come up
with for him.
Your Dam Yankee friend in
Come on, now Susan. You won’t get me
that easily. “Perry is like Bush,
only dumber”? That’s got to be a
Texas leg-pull, right?
I gotta admit, I kinda agree
with Jess. Bush = Dumb, so
Perry = Dumber Bush doesn’t
However, both of these equations
Perry hair > Bush hair and
Bush smirk > Perry smirk (if you
I really think that Bush should
try selling blue jeans and Perry
should sell hair spray.
Honestly, they should stick to
what they know about. They’d be
good at that, no complaints from
me at all. I might even buy
their jeans and spray; heck, I’d
buy a lot. I could donate what
I didn’t need to the women’s
shelter and feel good on lots of
A former Rangerette’s cousin
- Oh lookie here, Texas's own
Ted Poe is trying real hard to become Tom DeLay.
It seems that
filed an ethics complain against Poe.
An ethics watchdog has
filed a complaint with the Federal Election
Commission accusing Rep. Ted Poe of Texas of several
egregious violations of campaign laws and
regulations, officials said Friday.
records show the Poe campaign failed to disclose
information on 40 individuals who contributed to the
campaign —— or $450,000 of the $1.7 million raised.
When he was a judge, Ted was famous for making people
stand on the street corner and wear signs of what crimes
they committed, like "I was convicted of shoplifting."
Ted needs to get his cardboard and magic marker ready
because I've got an idea ----
I'm Ted Poe and I Lack
September 21 -
I've been telling you this for years.
Bush is afraid of horses. Everybody in Texas
knew it all along. He's a wuss. Even little
girls ride horses.
Try to find a picture of him on a horse. None
exist. Every man in Texas has his picture taken on
a horse. It's the law. Look it up.
But, Wuss Bush is a scardy cat. Hell, the man
can't even stay on a bicycle. I've heard he's also
scared of Segways and rocking chairs.
Did you see the article in the
Christian Science Monitor about Bush
visiting the guy who invented the Segway?
insisted on showing the then-governor
each one of his house's many
eccentricities. (It includes halls that
resemble mine shafts, as well as a
kinetic sculpture powered by a steam
engine.) Then he strapped Bush into a
wheelchair that could climb stairs, and
sent him on a bucking, clunking ride up
to the second floor.
car back to the hotel Bush fixed his
handlers with a curdling stare. "Don't
ever do that to me again," he said.
Here's a picture of boy george on a
Scarred of Horses???
But big bad "W" was a fighter pilot.
Actually a fighter /interceptor. F-102 and
106s were delta wing rockets. They weren't
built to dogfight. They went 1500 + (they
never give the top speed) and carried 4-6
rockets. That's all you need when they are
NUKES. One Russian Bomber squadron based in
Cuba ... one nuke. Wait a minute they
actually let him fly those. That's Scary!!!
September 21 - Oh Lord,
me, too, Honey.
Stephen Colbert interviewed Jeffrey Toobin last night.
Toobin related ...
...that "Justice Souter was so
upset about the result in Bush v. Gore that not only
did he almost resign the Court because he was so
upset, but there were times when he thought about
the case and he wept."
Honey. One vote and we wouldn't be in this mess.
See the interview
20 - UPDATE AT BOTTOM: Patrick sent us
this heads-up that
Tom DeLay's clock is ticking down. They've
subpoenaed information on his spiritual/political
federal grand jury has subpoenaed payroll records
from the House for Ed Buckham, former chief of staff
to ex-House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas).
The subpoena, issued by a grand jury in Washington,
D.C., is the first formal notification that Buckham
is the focus of a federal corruption probe by the
Justice Department. The subpoena was sent to Daniel
Beard, chief administrative officer for the House,
and formally read into the Congressional Record this
afternoon, although Buckham was not mentioned in the
who is DeLay's closest friend, is an ordained minister
who probably shouldn't be left alone with the love
Buckham also has ties to other
lawmakers under federal investigation, including
Rep. John Doolittle (R-Calif.). Buckham's lobbying
firm hired Doolittle's wife, Julie Doolittle, to do
consulting work. Doolittle's house was recently
raided by FBI agents as part of the continuing
around here has always been that Buckham will claim
minister privilege for withholding information about
DeLay. However, with jail in the picture, Buckham
may well sing like a fat lady in a choir robe.
UPDATE: And, Patrick
also reminds us that you better be careful what you ask
for because you just might ... have to eat your words in
a jail cell.
Tom DeLay speaking on March 8th -
“They’re not going after me,”
DeLay said of the FBI. “They’re going after other
people and they’re questioning the other people
about whether they know anything I may have done.
And we’ve given them all the records and that’s the
problem they’re having.”
DeLay said the evidence shows that his wife did not
accept improper payments: “She did her work and she
was underpaid for the work she did and they can’t
make the case. It’s a Justice Department that is
running amok. Fish or cut bait. Do something.”
Yep - he
kinda asked for it. Well, heck, let's be honest,
he begged for it like a little girl.
A reminder from Ben Sargent ---
20 - They'll send them yellow ribbons instead.
a redeployment of forces.
Senate Republicans yesterday
rejected a bipartisan proposal to lengthen the home
leaves of U.S. troops fighting in Iraq and
Afghanistan, derailing a measure that war opponents
viewed as one of the best chances to force President
Bush to accelerat
You know, I wouldn't have a problem with this as long as
congressional Republicans pledge not to take a
single day of vacation - not even Saturdays or Sundays -
until the troops come home.
And if this picture doesn't scare the poop outta you,
nothing will. The bottom picture was taken during
Bush's last trip to Iraq.
September 20 -
It's just six weeks until we have to vote on amendments
to the Texas Constitution.
short explanation on an "About" website of what they
are and what they mean. And here's a 130 page
explanation (easily skimmed) in PDF format put out
by the Texas Legislative Council. It has the
history of the amendments for each one both the pros and
This cowboy walks into a bar and
orders a beer. His hat is made of brown wrapping paper.
And so are his shirt, vest, chaps, pants, and boots. His
spurs are also made of paper. Pretty soon, the sheriff
arrives and arrests him for rustling.
- Thanks to James
for the heads-up, or heads-down as in this case.
"I respect [Malaysian] Prime
Minister Badawi, admire his leadership," Bush said.
"When his wife died, I tried to call him early just
to let him know I cared about him."
"He has remarried," one of the journalists told him.
"Has he?" Bush asked. "Good. I'll congratulate him.
Thanks for giving me that heads-up. Don't put that
in the article that you had to tell me that. You can
put it in there if you want. I'll be glad to -- I'm
going to congratulate him. That's neat."
"You did, sir," interjected National Security
Council aide Dennis Wilder.
"You did congratulate him."
"Exactly. I'm going to congratulate him again," Bush
said, trying to recover as the journalists laughed.
"I'll double the congratulations. That's right, I
did write him a note. I forgot. Did I call him or
write him a note?"
"You wrote him a note," Wilder said.
"That's right, yes. Sent him a couple flowers."
Jesus, Bush is missing four years out of his life.
Sadly, it's the last six years. Badawi wife
He re-married in June of this year - that's like, I
dunno, three months ago. Sent him a "couple of
flowers," did ya? How thoughtful of you.
I mean, it's fine with Aunt Verdelia can't remember
where she put the shampoo, but this man is President of
the whole entire United States of America.
Here's a picture of Bush with Badawi in September of
last year. Probably sent him flowers then, too.
September 19 -
Email from John --
Just an alert to
call your Senators (I know, I know, they're
firmly up Bush's booty--but it feels good
doing it, right?).
votes today on whether or not to restore
habeas corpus to the enemy combatant
detainees. Now I know they aren't citizens
and this terrorism thing is supposedly a
different ball game than the one our
home-bred criminals play, but what are we
big strong Americans afraid of?
Are we so
scared of the bogeymen with a death wish
that we have to suspend our lofty
principles? What was that we are supposed
to be fighting for? FREEDOM, for cryin' out
saying goes from a T-shirt available from my
favorite liberal swag shop at
"They hate us
for our freedom, so the less freedom you
have the safer you'll be."
When did this
country become a big ole bunch of wussies?
I've never seen such wimps. If someone
is afraid of the Bill of Rights, then they
need to go live somewhere else.
19 - Who says justice is blind?
A Fort Bend County woman got 30 days in the county jail
to be served on weekends
for stealing from the PTA - twice. No kidding,
twice. She was convicted in 2004 and got
probation. She did it again two years later.
Thirty days. County jail. On weekends.
On the other hand, an Austin woman got six years hard
for stealing from a political consultant who is
known as "Dr. Dirt." Personally, I think she
should have been given a medal for it.
Six years for a first conviction in Austin.
Thirty days in Fort Bend. You do the math and tell
me where would you steal.
- Email from Steve ---
would enjoy even if Old Tom is the only
Texan mentioned. California is certainly
September 18 -
Crazy and mean is still considered
an asset in
Arnold Schwarzenegger at the recent
California Republican convention. At least that's
the view of some conservative bloggers in the Golden
State who compared speeches delivered by the two
Schwarzenegger seemed to lose the crowd with talks
about embracing universal healthcare and joining the
fight against global warming, according to blog
Perry got a better reaction with some of his
"I don't know about you, but I've heard
talk about man-made global warming
so much that I'm starting to think that his mouth is
the leading source of all that supposedly deadly
So, take Perry's crazy and
mean talk and mark it down as proof that George
Bush and Tom DeLay had a love child.
18 - 'Nuff said.
- A lot you know my friend
moved to Oregon dammit. Since she left, Bitchin'
Betty and the Sequined Backhoes have been without a
She wrote a break-your-heart poem to her Uncle Dick
yesterday. Her blog will be baseball, politics,
poetry, wine, and all things pink and girly. My
kind of blog.
Enjoy. And please feel free to pester her.
For a couple of years, we’ve been
following the governmental antic of David and Dorothy
Roseland, Indiana, the only place where the
Republicans are crazier than here. Thanks to our friend
Deb, who lives dangerously close to it all, we’ve kept
up with the brawls on city council.
David Snyder gets out of jail for assaulting a
police office just in time to attend a GOP function.
And this time, you even get a picture of David showing
why you shouldn’t screw with Officer Jack Tiller. But,
even a bigger treat is that
Roseland and the Snyders have become so downright
enjoyable that someone at Notre Dame
made a movie about them.
So, if you have time to kill and want to catch up
on the adventures in Roseland, here’s a
Google search that will get you started.
I kinda hate to admit to being a
Hoosier, reading about Roseland,
Indiana. Did you notice that the
article you linked mentions that David
Snyder had earlier been in jail for
unpaid child support, to the tune of
Real heartland Republican family values
September 17 -
A young Texan walks into
a bar and orders a drink. "Got any ID?" asks the
bartender. The Texan replies, "About what?"
17 - This is just a rumor, but I heard that both
View from 22 will return for the election season in
a couple of weeks.
Just a rumor I heard, and what would I know about such
things? I'll let you know if I hear any more about
I may be
wrong, after all I'm not a lawyer
(whew), but it would seem
that Andy probably can't tax condom
vending machines because they are
subject to the gross receipts tax. He
probably can't tax the bed vibrators
either since they, if not a service, at
least aid a service.
P.S. And what's more gross in a rest
room than a condom machine? Well,
maybe a Senator.
Be still my heart! I'll
keep watching for the OPEN sign in the
window of the Beauty Salon. My roots are
showin' and I need a trim...
- Okay, this may be one of the funniest things I've
It takes a little 'splainin'.
First, we have a chart used by General Petraeus in his
testimony before Congress. You can see the
full-sized one here. Check out all the
question marks, dreams and hopes just to get us back to
where we started 9 months ago.
seriously funny guy had a boatload of fun with General
Petraeus' chart. You can
full-sized one here and it's worth a close
I think he
nailed Petraeus' whole presentation with minor changes
to one chart. (I think my favorite part is the
pony pony pony pony across the bottom.)
- In the "No Shoot, Sherlock" category,
Alan Greenspan shows why he's so darned smart ----
He [Greenspan] further says the
GOP deserved the stomping it took in November's
congressional elections -- a ballot that saw both
houses of Congress wrested from Republican control
-- because the party "swapped principle for power."
In the book, Greenspan wrote
that Bush essentially left an unbridled GOP Congress
to spend money however it saw fit, and by not
vetoing a single bill in six years, the president
deprived the nation of checks and balances.
I wonder if Greenspan's book has a chapter entitled:
"Warm Beer, Bad; Cold Beer, Good."
Thank you, Capitan Obvious.
- For those who are wondering how much money Tom
DeLay was paid to write his book, the answer is ...
probably too much.
Alfredo sends us this information from
Congressional Quarterly Politics
from a story entitled, "How Low Can the Price of
a House Leader’s Memoir Go?"
And what about Republican leaders who
might have wanted to be Speaker? Things
are a little slow for their books at the
For example, this year’s “No Retreat,
No Surrender: One American’s Fight,” by
former Majority Leader Tom DeLay of
Texas (1985-2006), starts at 89 cents.
Another Texan is further down the
price list: “Armey’s Axiom: 40
Hard-Earned Truths from Politics, Faith,
and Life,” by ex-Majority Leader Dick
Armey (1985-2003), is also available for
goes to a penny, I'll buy it. I won't read it, but
I'll buy it. Heck, Tom didn't read it, so why
September 16 -
TK and I have fallen in love
... with Average
Betty. No politics, just food and fun!
TK likes the coffee cake. I like the Faquitos.
Move over, Paula Deen and Rachel Ray .....
16 - E. Claire sends us this ---
he did it again.
- We support the military, but who is the military
Democrats it appears.
As the Iraq war drags on and US casualties mount,
members of the military appear to be showing their
discontent by donating more to Democrats,
a campaign finance watchdog group said today.
Service members have traditionally supported the
Republican Party, but there has been a dramatic
shift since the war started in 2003 away from
financial backing for GOP candidates for president
and Congress, the nonpartisan Center for Responsive
[blah, blah, blah]
Ron Paul, the only Republican candidate who
opposes the war, has brought in at least $19,250 --
more than Vietnam War hero John McCain, who supports
the war and has raised $18,600 from military
Yeah, yeah, I saw Bush's
speech last night. He's delusional and they know
it. Lord, that man scares me more every day.
September 14 -
Oh, pluuuueze let Fred Thompson be the
GOPper nominee for President.
Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson
gave no opinion Thursday when asked about efforts by
President Bush and Congress to keep Terri Schiavo
alive, saying he does not remember details of the
right-to-die case that stirred national debate.
Thompson was asked in an interview for Bay News
9's "Political Connections" program whether he
thought Congress' intervention to save the life of
the brain-damaged woman two years ago was
"I can't pass judgment on it. I know that good
people were doing what they thought was best,"
Thompson said. "That's going back in history. I
don't remember the details of it."
Doesn't remember? I'm sorry, but I had to say that
twice just to believe it myself.
Then next thing out of the bag, he wants to do away
with No Child Left Behind because education is a state
issue. He believes in giving education decisions
to the states.
Good grief! The idiot voted for No Child Left
Behind. I guess he forgot that, too.
So, it's true. He IS trying to be Regan.
14 - Every Friday should start with a laugh and
TS sent us a great one ---
After clogging my arteries by proxy with that
item about the fried banana pudding stuffed
burrito, I thought
probably deserved this.
social commentary, humor, and recipes makes this a
one-stop internet machine delight!
Thank you (and to TS) for the great
editorial about Average Betty and Hoffepeño...
"one-stop internet machine delight?" You
are too kind... I'm not worthy.
I thought you might be interested in this.
According to Google Analytics, your article
sent 82 referrals to averagebetty.com in
just one day; latimesblogs.latimes.com/dailydish
also wrote an article about Average Betty on
9/12/07 and has sent 14 referrals. Your
website sent 580% more referrals than the
latimes blog! You have great, loyal
And you have a great website... your
political commentary and sense of humor are
fantastic. I look forward to reading more.
Thanks again, and have a great weekend!
A little exploring
revealed a treasure trove of Average
Betty videos. I may be in love. This
woman is the Frank Zappa of our time.
Driven to despair by the Great Decider
Taxi Service, Average Betty provides an
absurdist antidote. This coffee cake
number is good, but go to the main web
page for many more.
12 - Okay, Nick Lampson gets one Get Susan Off
My Back Free card.
This came to my house yesterday. Click the little
one to get the big one.
Nick is anti lung cancer. Apparently Phillip
Morris is not.
Please call the number and tell them that you're proud
of Nick Lampson.
UPDATE: I am told that
there's another one with the same message about Kay
Both my Senators voted for this
increase. Congrats to them. Let's see if
they try these adds in NY.
Morris is original scum so what would
you expect them to do?
Steve in New
So we should
raise the tax on baby food instead?
Who is paying the medical bills for all
the people with lung cancer and
emphysema? Certainly not Phillip
Nick this time!
I called Nick's office
and gave them my support. I'm guessing
that since Cornyn's name didn't appear
on the card he voted pro-death on the
September 12 - Well,
damn. What a heartbreaker.
The Op-Ed by seven active duty U.S. soldiers in Iraq
questioning the war drew international attention
just three weeks ago. Now two of the seven are dead.
Omar Mora and Sgt. Yance T. Gray died Monday in a
vehicle accident in western Baghdad, two of seven
U.S. troops killed in the incident which was
reported just as Gen. David Petraeus was about to
report to Congress on progress in the "surge." The
names have just been released.
- LOCAL INTEREST:
Speak now or forever hold your peace. We're
buying developers a new road unless you pitch a fit.
And here's another story on
the toll road. Tomorrow is the deadline for
voicing your objections.
And here is
an excellent blog about transportation and an entry
about the Grand Parkway toll road.
Goodness Sake, the last thing this man needed was
SYRACUSE, N.Y. (AP) - A man who tried to run over
a Burger King worker while ordering breakfast had to
settle for jail food instead.
Dana Salce, 20, got into a dispute with workers
at a Burger King just after 8 a.m. Sunday when he
refused to turn his music down while ordering at the
drive-through, Syracuse Police Lt. Joseph Cecile
Cecile said Salce grabbed the eatery's female
manager, tried to pull her through a window and then
attempted to run over a worker who came to the
He was jailed on charges of attempted assault,
harassment, and criminal possession of a weapon and
was due in court Monday.
And he had a weapon?
Look, I've had bad jobs and I've had bad mornings, but
I never assaulted the poor worker at Burger King.
If you're gonna assault, go straight for the King
- There's an old Texas political story
means: probably not true) that goes like this:
Ole boy was running for sheriff out in West Texas.
He was asked a question about a controversial subject.
His reply? "Some of my friends are for it.
Some of my friends are against it. I'm for my
Up until yesterday, that would have gotten laughter at
a Democratic function. But it's come a little too
close to home now.
Congressman Nick Lampson was asked about his position
on the Iraq war.
In an arena where the legislative battle lines
have been drawn mostly along partisan boundaries —
Democrats pressing for troop withdrawal deadlines
and benchmarks, Republicans against them — only one
of the Texans appeared to fit in neither camp.
Rep. Nick Lampson, a Stafford Democrat, is
working with both parties to find common ground.
"There are those who advocate an immediate
withdrawal from Iraq. And there are those who want
to send in more troops and continue with an
open-ended commitment," Lampson said in a prepared
statement. "Somewhere in the middle exists a
practical and realistic solution that honors the
commitment and sacrifice of our troops. That is type
of solution I will support and work towards."
Lampson, one of the GOP's top targets for defeat
in 2008, declined to discuss his efforts further.
Thus far, he has not broken from the Democratic
leadership on Iraq votes.
doesn't know what that solution is or even have any
suggestions, which is akin to being a leader without
knowing where to go.
With this and the FISA vote, I guess we can withdraw
Nick's name from the Profiles in Courage nomination.
12 - God help the poor conservative white male,
he is so put-upon.
I can't help myself. I am totally obsessed with
the writers at GOPUSA.
Today's feature is a conservative white male named Chuck
Muth who knows for a fact that
concerted effort to erase conservative white males from
Chuck homeschooled his kids so he could keep them from
knowing that not only conservative white men are good
Poor Chuck bought highly rated books to teach his kids
and the real truth - dammit - the books mentions Rosa
Parks, Helen Keller, Colin Powell, John Kennedy, Jane
Adams and Daniel Inouye as good citizens.
Chuck thinks the book should have listed Gen.
Douglas MacArthur as a war hero instead of Colin
Powell. Yep, the same MacArthur who got fired for
And as soon as Chuck can think up a blind deaf
conservative white male who became an international
inspiration, Helen Keller is gonna get the boot, too.
Chuck ends his day trip to Nutsville by saying ---
Fortunately, as a home school
parent I’m able to nip this crud in the bud by
skipping over these examples in the ol’ textbook and
offer up my own. But if such liberal PC claptrap is
in our home-school curriculum, can you imagine how
they’re re-writing history in the government’s
re-education camps? Be afraid.
Thank you, Chuck, for reminding me that that I have much
to cut off the Hee Haw in his head and
embrace the world around him.
i loved the
bit about that nut job Chuck: I am
sooooo thrilled that I'm not married to
him. His wife's life must be
really write "be afraid"?
September 12 -
there's a storm a'coming, Ethel.
When the red places on the weather map are going in big
ole circles, you know that's not good.
12 - Poor Texas Senator John Cornyn. Even
his fellow Republicans in the Senate are trying to
Yesterday Cornyn tried to pass an amendment to a
transportation bill denouncing Move On for making a bad
and juvenile pun out of General David
Petraeus' name. You'd
think that would be easier to pass than sliding off a
greased pig backwards.
Not so much for Cornyn. All he got was eye rolls.
Mr. Cornyn's proposed amendment to the
transportation and housing spending bill condemned
attacks on Gen. Petraeus.
Democratic Sen. Richard Durbin of Illinois
distanced himself from the ad, but said the
resolution was unnecessary. He defended the group's
right to speak against the war.
He accused Mr. Cornyn of holding up the
transportation bill with the amendment and, in the
end, the amendment was ruled not germane to the
I certain that somebody has to explain to Cornyn what
Ah, the smell of
11 - Our amusing friend, Bobby Eberle of Jeff
Gannon fame and runner-up for Vice Chair of the Texas
GOP, has really got my goat today.
Eberle, who continues to write a column entitled "The
Loft" in spite of the fact that he's Jeff Gannon's
former beard employer,
9-11 column today which says, among other dopey
"Memorial services in honor of those lost on that
terrible day are being tainted by accusations that
some are "playing politics" with the event. In
addition, those are the left are bent on losing the
war on terror by undermining the actions of the
administration at every turn."
Bobby, pull in on them reins.
Most of us, at least those of us who get our news
somewhere other than Rush Limbaughs drug flashbacks,
know that the War on Terror has diddle squat to do with
As far as "accusations" that some a playing politics
with 9-11, look in the danged mirror, Honey.
He fails to mention in the article that
those that "are now complaining that
Giuliani will be participating in this
year's 9-11 ceremony" are firefighters
and family members of victims, according
to the AP report.
I would give
this article a C-. He makes two
separate arguments, but fails to support
- As most of you recall, back in February of this
year, I filed a complaint with the Texas Ethics
Commission on County Judge Bob Hebert for paying his
wife about $500 an hour from his campaign account for
bookkeeping. Bob plead guilty, paid his fine,
reimbursed his campaign account and moved on.
Everybody has forgotten about it by now.
Not so with Commissioner Andy Meyers. I filed a
complaint about him at the same time, but for far more
reasons. Click the little one to get the big one.
is waiting for me to die or the law to change. I
got a notice today that it's still pending. Do
that click thing again on the letter below.
Andy. You're hogging all the stupid again.
Hey, Skippy, you know you violated the law many times
over or you wouldn't have filed all new reports covering
the past 2 years. You know you ignored the rules
and proceeded to pay yourself and your son every durn
dime you could finagle. So, fess up.
You're dumber than bean dip to stall this sucker closer
to election when people will remember that you are only
the second person in the history of the county to have
By the way,
I also filed a complaint against PBS&J for swearing
an oath that they gave money to our commissioners that
our commissioners claim they never got. It's still
And yes, it's the same PBS&J who's getting the big
contract for the new toll road. Good grief.
Don't say I didn't warn you when we all get backed
against the wall with that sucker. If you run a
PBS&J and investigation, you get 22,500 hits.
JuanitaHoney, you are wonderful; I
appreciate that someone (YOU) has the
energy and fortitude to do what I and
ALL of us SHOULD do but are too damn
lazy to get off our butts and handle
ourselves. I am disgusted that our
government is so corrupt and incompetent
and I do so little about it. Thank
you, thank you, thank you.
Affectionately, Bob F.
September 10 - This
is of local interest only.
They're doing it again.
Those of you who are following
the toll road mess, please allow me to take you on
visit to where it all started. I wrote this
column for the newspaper in March of 1999. It
took me a while to find it, but I did.
Only the names have changed. In 1999, the county
judge and the commissioners got a free trip to Hong Kong
out of the deal.
Well, lookie here. The Houston Chronicle
finally noticed Fort Bend and our odd Commissioner's
Explaining why Commissioner's Court meetings last such
a short time ---
The commissioners' staff have
already pre-approved the items and reached
agreements among themselves on behalf of the
commissioners. So when the commissioners meet the
following Tuesday, they just needed to rubber-stamp
those items, not having to talk about them. It's a
way of bypassing public scrutiny.
yeah. It's a end-run around the Texas Open
Meetings Laws. But you don't expect our very
important Commissioners to sit in a real meeting on
Tuesdays, now do you?
(Andy couldn't come anyway;
he's too busy filing expense reports.)
September 10 - Our friend James who comments
here sometime when we're lucky,
got published in the Dallas Morning News.
It's some dandy writing and even better story telling.
Treat yourself and read it.
September 9 -
And he was going
to visit his mother ....
A naked man driving along the Indiana Toll Road
was arrested and charged because his lewd conduct
distracted other motorists, police said.
The 37-year-old Chicago man was traveling east to
Ohio to visit his mother, police said. He was nude
and had petroleum jelly on his hands when a state
trooper pulled him over about 10 miles from the Ohio
line Wednesday, police said.
The man, who told police he was comfortable
driving in the nude, was charged with misdemeanor
indecent exposure, punishable by up to a year in
least he wasn't talking on his cell phone. I'd
trade a nakkid driver for a yakkin' driver any day of
Susan – I’m too lazy to look it up, but
I recall a story that happened 20 years
or so ago when I lived in Detroit. Cops
there stopped a speeding van and found
it full of naked women, slathered in
mustard. Asked for an explanation, the
ladies just said they were filled with
the holy spirit,
Swear to God it’s true – I’ll get busy
in the archives and find the story.
- I've already ordered it. I'll let you know
Steve Bickerstaff's new book any better than this
reviewer at the Caller-Times.
.... he does build a powerful
case that DeLay's leadership of the plot to unseat
10 Anglo Democrats and give Republicans a majority
in the state's congressional delegation was an
immense abuse of power.
What do you want to bet that it sells more than DeLay's
It's called: "Lines in the Sand: Congressional
Redistricting in Texas and the Downfall of Tom DeLay."
Yep, I like that title.
September 7 -
Well, even the Houston Chronicle agrees.
Watts owes us an explanation or he needs to drop out.
It's refreshing to see the Chronicle take a principled
As a well- and largely
self-financed candidate for high office, Watts owes
voters an explanation: Does he think his campaign
donations influence the outcome of cases? Regardless
of the answer, Watts should explain to the voters
why his outrageous claim does not violate the public
trust and disqualify him from the office he seeks.
thing we discovered Watt's true thoughts on justice
before the primary. There's probably eight or
eleven more on the list of "incredibly stoopid things
that Mikal Watts said" that John Cornyn is sitting on.
Watts is folding like a three dollar suitcase at the
September 7 -
I have a buddy who reads my
site every day. Yesterday, my buddy got an email from
Judge Linda Yanez asking for a campaign donation.
Having read my site, my buddy - who is a senior
citizen - emailed Judge Yanez's campaign.
I have no idea who Miguel Carrera is, but if he has
ever referred to himself as a "political professional,"
Ms. Yanez needs to ask for her money back. There's
nothing professional about Miguel Carrera.
You know the drill - click the little one to get
the big one.
Miguel, in case you're into Googling yourself and
you find this, please make a little note that says, "Do
not hack-off people unnecessarily. You may need their
vote in November."
More importantly, don't make fun of somebody's
spelling when your own grammar stinks to high heck.
Check that second sentence, son, and wipe that smart
aleck grin off your face.
Most importantly, take the time to explain your
candidate's position. Is she going to return the
money? Is she insulted and outraged that Mr. Watts
abused her good name in this manner? Is she going to do
something about it? Or, is she just going to continue
to take Mr. Watt's abuse and his money?
Miguel, Miguel, Miguel. Are you the type of staff
Ms. Yanez plans to have once she's on the court?
- Heads up and good reading for those who haven't seen
Tom DeLay suffer enough yet!
- My friend named Sybil is funny. She
just told me this one liner ----
If you think a night on the town involves a public
toilet, you might just be a Republican.
September 6 -
The good news? Our pollen crop is the largest
in our lifetime. The bad news? Nobody wants
to buy it from us.
Allergy sufferers, look out: This year's ragweed
season is going to be a monster.
All that ragweed pollen could make this one of
the worst seasons for allergy sufferers in five
decades. Thanks to a rainy spring and summer,
ragweed plants are about to explode throughout North
Texas. On Friday, the pollen count is expected to
climb to 11.3 on a scale that tops out at 12,
according to the Web site pollen.com.
Bubba and I went to the Ozarks last year for a vacation
where the air is crisp and clean. It made Bubba
real nervous. "I don't trust air I can't see," he
Okay, I think I'm ready. Hurricane season, check.
Pollen season, check. Hunting season with Dick
Cheney coming soon, check. Lord, if the Lege was in
session, we'd have to sever ourselves from the rest of
the country just out of kindness.
Can't ragweed be smoked ?
- Thanks to Chip Bok, here's a great thought for the
- UPDATED at bottom:
I knew there was something about
Mikal Watts that made the little hairs on the back of my
neck stand up.
Democratic U.S. Senate candidate Mikal Watts of San
Antonio once tried to pressure a legal opponent into
a $60 million personal injury lawsuit settlement by
claiming he would have an advantage on appeal
because of his firm's "heavy" campaign financial
support to an appellate court's justices, "all of
whom are good Democrats."
Creepy. On the one hand, he talks about what a
sincere Christian he is over at the Baptist Church and
that's why he opposes abortion rights and stem cell
research, and then he turns around and says he can buy
democracy. Poor dude is in the wrong party.
To add a little more bite to the chili, Watt's letter
also mentions another Democrat - Linda Yanez.
letter goes on to name Justices Errlinda Castillo,
Nelda Rodriguez, J. Bonner Dorsey, Federico Hinojosa
and Linda Yanez, and says his firm also has
financially supported them. Hinojosa, Castillo and
Dorsey are no longer on the court.
firm donated $50,000 to Yanez in 2002.
Yanez jumped into the race for Texas Supreme Court Place
8 after Judge Susan
Criss of Galveston had already announced.
When Yanez announced against Criss (with plenty of
races uncontested on the Supreme Court), folks began to
wonder if Watts was trying to buy his own Democratic
ticket in the primary. Why would Yanez run for a
seat that already had a Democrat running?
The last damn thing Democrats need are a crew of
good-ole-boys filling each other's pockets.
Republicans are doing just fine filling that niche.
to hack-off a bunch of big-money Democrats. Again.
I want to be proud to be a Texas Democrat. I do
not want my rallying cry to be, “Well, the Republicans
do it, too.”
The more I think about this, the madder I get.
We’re Democrats, dammit. We’re supposed to be
against sell-out politicians and even the appearance of
impropriety in the judicial system. Dammit.
Judge Linda Yanez needs to return Mikal Watt’s
$50,000 contribution with a terse little note suggesting
that if Mr. Watts ever again hints that she is for sale
or can be bought, he’s liable to wake up to find the
imprint of a gavel upside his head.
Yanez simply saying that Watts never received any
preferential treatment from the appeals court isn’t
enough. There needs to be a stronger sanction against a
Democrat who says he’s bought influence and has the
cancelled checks to back it up.
Until she returns the money, she’s as guilty as he
is of making us all look bad.
Susan: While I don’t condone this sort
of tactic—it is actually forbidden by
the ethics rules—I also know that there
is an awful lot of this sort of Puffery
in Plaintiff’s practices. We are all
basically little boys who want to be
pirates or cowboys but were too nerdy
and ended up stuck in the library.
Rattling the saber is often just part of
the game. I am still leaning toward
Noriega but I have liked what I have
heard from Watts on the issues. He
turned up at the Harris county AFL-CIO
BBQ cook off this weekend with his wife
and kids and made a good impression on
respect to your September 5 blog
posting about Mikal Watts and his
influence peddling, I couldn't agree
more! Watts is very bad news. His
whole philosophy is about throwing
money around, purchasing influence,
and bragging about it. The voters
should be forewarned: a person who
thinks he can buy anything for
enough money can also be bought by
anybody for enough money.
against choice and stem cells, thinks
money can buy influence, and has yet to
take a stand on the war. You're
right, Susan babe, he IS a
- We get email from Sam this morning.
So Senator Peewee is thinking
of hanging around (something which he
apparently has considerable experience in
doing). This will keep the whole mess
churning in the news for weeks and maybe
months. I'll bet the writers for Leno,
Letterman, etal are saying a little prayer
of thanks right about now.
LIFE IS GOOD.
September 4 -
Okay, head on over to the
website and vote for your Presidential favorite.
One vote per person, please.
John Edwards is winning big as of today and that's fine
Since the Texas GOP wouldn't let us have an early
primary, this will have to do.
September 4 -
This could only happen in Texas. I mean that. Okay,
maybe South Carolina but that’s it.
Granny Geek reminded us that the Texas State Fair is
a tribute to glorious gluttony. But, this wins hands
The winner this year was Fried Cookie Dough. It
looked good enough to eat, and I admire someone who can
come up with that recipe.
this kinda stands out in the annals of Texas
vendor Debbie Hays and her family were among the
vendors who weren't awarded a Big Tex trophy, they
said they are still walking tall.
Fried Banana Pudding was the invention of Ms. Hays'
brother, longtime concessionaire B.W. Morrow, who
died of a heart attack earlier this year. His recipe
was picked to be in the contest posthumously.
His wife and
daughter came to the contest to see how everyone
would respond to Mr. Morrow's last fair food
contribution, banana pudding wrapped in a tortilla
Good grief, it killed him. Don’t eat it.
I mean, those were some brave judges. “Here, eat
this. Last guy who ate it? Died of a heart attack.”
Only in Texas would that be considered culinary
When I die I want my obituary to say that I was
very old, very sick, or doing something worth dieing
for. I do not want it to say that I died of banana
Did I tell you that my friend Verdelia said she had
to quit turning on Paula Deen’s show because she gained
5 pounds every time she watched it? That’s true.
Anyway, I figure I’ll stay away from the banana
pudding but have a heap of that Fried Cookie Dough.
the fried banana pudding on a
stick? cause then it IS worth eating!
on texas fair food was so nauseating and
wonderful i could hardly wait for my NM
fair. can i be the official reporter on
that beat? that way i can be really
interested without having to actually
eat that crap, uh, fair food!
- Texas political heroes from the past - Babe Swartz
and Dolph Briscoe are pushing the panic button,
but they are having one installed.
In the current world of terrorist threats, the
Legislature this year expanded police surveillance
powers and declined to put tighter controls on an
intelligence computer database being built at the
insistence of Gov. Rick Perry's office.
Two-thirds of the House voted to remove management
of the computer from Perry's staff and give it
entirely to DPS, but the measure was not part of the
final border security law, Senate Bill 11, signed by
the governor. Civil libertarians remain concerned
that the database will be misused in the future,
particularly if managed by a political office such
as a governor's.
Honey, I'm not saying that Rick Perry doesn't need
intelligence. But he needs the kind you get from
reading books and doing arithmetic.
The story discusses how Gov. Dolph stomped out a
previous DPS "intelligence gathering" apparatus that was
meant for purely political purposes.
Predicatively, the Republicans are trying to do it
- Our friend Alfredo notices that considering the
sweet deals given to Ney's staff, Tony Rudy must be
singing an octave higher than anyone supposed.
Tom DeLay will say something crazier than usual very
Prosecutors are continuing to talk to Abramoff and
Michael Scanlon, his close associate and a former
top aide to former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay
(R-Texas). In late August, the government postponed
scheduled status hearings with Judge Ellen Huvelle
for both men, giving them three more months to
continue to spill information.
In late July, prosecutors also agreed to give Tony
Rudy more time to cooperate, scheduling another
status hearing for him Nov. 5.
Oh, this might be fun!
September 3 - (Skip
over this whole thing unless you're a political junkie.
I'm throwing a conniption hissy fit this morning.
Scroll on down to the cartoon.)
THIS is what's wrong with politics.
Consultants. Political professionals.
In just a few election cycles, running for
president of the United States has undergone a
profound - and costly - change. Campaigns that once
began as ideological missions driven by candidates
and volunteers have been subsumed by a permanent
class of professionals whose job is to keep the
campaign on a carefully crafted script.
The 2008 race has already set new benchmarks for
the use of political consultants, with two
candidates - Republicans Mitt Romney and John McCain
- having already spent more on consultants in six
months than what the eventual 2004 nominees, John F.
Kerry and George W. Bush, spent on professional
advisers for their entire campaigns.
Don't even get me started.
Okay, get me started.
I've been wanting to say this for a long time and Labor
Day seems like a good time. Don't bother reading
this diatribe unless you're a political junkie, and even
then you might be bored.
I see how high-dollar professional political
“consultants” came to ruin Democratic politics, not only
nationwide, but even in state, congressional and local
Politics used to be different. Politicians had to
go to church, little league ballgames, county fairs, the
Rotary Club, high school football games, and just about
all the neighborhood gatherings. They had to get
themselves liked and respected to get elected.
It continued after they got elected. They had to
shake hands, visit with people in their district, attend
boring high school plays, go to backyard barbeques,
mingle, see and be seen.
That was certainly time-consuming and fairly
boring. Politicians began to grow weary of having to
listen to people, smile, and act concerned. It was hard
At that same exact time, along came a group of
people who couldn’t get jobs. They had degrees in
political science, but there weren’t enough politics
labs to employ them all. Try looking in the want-ads
for “needed: political scientist.” Generally, they
weren’t smart enough for law school, and they had no
marketable skills for the real world.
One of these unemployables went to a politician and
said, “Hey, I have a deal for you. You don’t have to
waste your valuable time mingling with the people of
your district. You have much better things to do. You
can quit going to all these events. Come election time,
I’ll send mail outs and press releases saying you care
about people and that your opponent is a son of a
motherless goat. You’ll have more free time to think
about important things because you’re an important man,
but you’ll still get elected.”
The politician bought this hook, line, and ego
The political science major gets a job and an
elected official got re-elected without having to fret
about …. well, people in their district.
So now their opponents had to have consultants,
That jumped the market, and the price of really
good consultants who could lie well and paint a false
picture of their client became about the same as landing
on Boardwalk with a hotel.
Darwin’s theory kicked in and the slyest
consultants survived the best. Being sly by nature,
they worked a deal with printers, media people, and
other consultants that they got a kickback off referring
business to them. So, the consultants now drew a
salary, demanded “staff” so they could hire their
friends, and then got a kickback on media advertising.
It doesn’t take a math major to figure out that the
more money the politician spent, the more money the
consultant made. So consultants decided that political
battles should not be done face to face, but with tv
ads, mail outs, and opposition research.
Asking a political consultant if you need to run
more tv ads is like asking a barber if you need a
As each side raised the stakes, the grassroots
became unnecessary. Consultants became a cottage
industry, and then they grew like fungus to monopolize
the market. It was a great job - consultants could
spend all their time behind closed doors, not even in
the district, and spend money like wildfire. Not a dime
for grassroots building or even buying food for
volunteers, but hundreds of thousands of dollars to
media consultants, especially those who give a kickback.
Meanwhile, with all the money flying around, the
grassroots, the people in the district who care about
politics, became a quaint relic, vaguely bothersome, and
The whole plan collapsed on itself. Within a
decade, politicians were now spending all their time on
the phone raising money to pay the consultants and their
Politicians whine, whine, whine that they never get
to do anything but be on the phone begging for money all
day every day. Yo Dude, you could have just gone to a
little league baseball game or two instead. I do not
feel sorry for you.
And then consultants began to tell us that we need
to nominate rich people instead of qualified people
because rich people don’t have to use their time begging
for money. Good grief, are you nuts?
Look, we cannot win with money, but we must – and
CAN – win with ideas.
We have to re-build the grassroots. We have to
have the guts to fire the consultants and ask the people
in every city, county, and state how to win.
That's my opinion. I could be wrong. But at
least I'm not being paid to have it.
here for a picnic with other grassroots Democrats!
I enjoyed the vent on consultants. Here
are a couple items from the Houston
Chronicle that you probably already
Politician sues his consultant:
Gingrich opines that political
debate has been reduced to
consultant-generated sound bites:
SUSAN: I take it all back. I
hate even kinda agreeing with Newt.
Do consultant have to carry malpractice insurance now?
There was a consultant in a local
political race here who openly admitted
that he put out deceptive information
about the opponent. He was proud
of himself. He's going to hell.
I just know it.
Awesome blog today.
am pushing grassroots like crazy!
Thank you – great job.
Amen, Susan, and pass the plate
again. I am refusing to work
for candidate who hires out of
Cindy from Texas
- Have a great Labor Day!
Click the little one to get the big one. Thanks to
- Well, I guess he figured the
Republican Party was kinky enough all on its own.
Kinky Friedman's next dance will be with the
Friedman, an entertainer and novelist who tried
last year to become the first Texas independent to
win the governorship since Sam Houston, says he's
not through with electoral politics but has come to
the conclusion that he'll need backing of a major
party if he'll have any shot of winning.
So he's laying the groundwork for entering the
2010 Democratic gubernatorial primary.
"I consider myself a Democrat in the mold of JFK,
[former Texas Gov.] Ann Richards and [journalist]
The only time I've ever seen Kinky at a loss for words
was at the Art Car Parade in Houston two years ago.
Kinky was riding in the parade, but his art car stalled
and had to be pulled over.
Everybody was running over to get their picture taken
with him, except for my baby boy, who approached him
with with a Democratic tee-shirt and said, "Can you
please tell me why the Party of John Kennedy is not good
enough for you?"
Kinky chewed on his cigar for a minute and replied,
"No, I can't." He then turned to adoring fans and
left that thought behind.
I think it's amusing that Kinky mentions JFK in his
decision to become an Democrat. Baby Boy will be
September 1 -
We get email from Patrick about the GOP straw poll
Seems like just showing up makes a
difference! But I still don't
understand this Fred Thompson thing? I
know he's got a trophy wife that looks like
she could make a good living on Harry Hines
(that's DFW's seedy area), but I just don't
get. Sorry, but he reminds me of a Jed
Here are all
Duncan Hunter: 534
Fred Thompson: 266
Ron Paul: 217
Mike Huckabee: 83
Rudy Giuliani: 78
Mitt Romney: 61
Ray McKinney: 28
John Cox: 10
John McCain: 8
Sam Brownback: 6
Tom Tancredo: 6
Hugh Cort: 3
September 1 - Take 2
minutes out of your long weekend to enjoy
Keith Olbermann name Tom DeLay "The Worst Person in
I was thrilled to see Keith do that
especially since "The Scumbag" had been on
other programs earlier in the day, to my
puzzlement and disgust. Why any host
ANYWHERE would want to talk to DeLay about
ANYthing truly escapes me and I lost respect
for them, as well.
And now that Warner is not going to run
again, the citizens of Virginia better pray
they don't have to endure a campaign by
their new citizen!!!!
Keith Olberman is one of
my favorite people in the world.
Do you think that Tom
Delay will still have that dumb ass
smirk on his face when he gets to the
Pearly Gates and they hit the down
button? Man I would love to punch those
Red Oak Tx
will probably go on Fox Noise and rant
and rave about his new honor "Worst
Person in the World". Since almost all
of the people at Fox have had that honor
at least once they should form a club
and get together once a month for lunch
at some roach filled restaurant. Tom's
probably just happy to be recognized for
his contributions to society.....even if
all his contributions have been
- Let's start off the month with a story from my brother
Three friends from Thibodeaux,
Louisiana were asked, "When you're in your casket,
and your friends and church members are mourning
over you, what would you like dem to say?"
Trosclair said: "I would like dem to say I was
wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a
great family man."
Leblanc commented: "I would like dem to say I was a
wonderful teacher and servant of da church who made
a huge difference in people's lives."
Boudreaux said: "I'd like dem to say, 'Look, he's
Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most
Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is
Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom
DeLay's old district. It's crazy here.
No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.
I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when
I got to know a few local Republicans. They are meaner
than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a
decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.
A lot of
what I post here has to do with local politics, but you
probably have the same folks in your local government.
a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. I've
been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you
and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.