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January 31 - PBS&J, the firm that got caught in all manner of trouble for ripping off taxpayers in four different states, has filed their FEC report. 
     And Boy Howdy, they're back in the buying politicians business.
     And Lo and Behold, guess which local politician is on their list?  Why, it's our own Commissioner Tom Stavinoha, who is a giant vendor slut.  I mean, he might as well be standing on street corners with a "Will Award Contracts For Tax Free Cash" sign.
     Now, why Tom would take money from a company while an ethics complaint is currently pending at the Texas Ethics Commission about this particular company and their relationship with our county commissioners, tells me how desperate he's become for money.  I think a man that desperate can't be trusted.
     Take a hefty look at the contributions.  You'll notice that PBS&J, a Florida based company, doesn't care about good government with judges, district clerks, tax assessors, or sheriffs in Texas.  They only care about politicians who decide on non-bid contracts for their services.  It's kickbacks, plain and simple.  And Commissioner Tom Stavinoha is in your pocket again.

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January 31 - We get very graphic email from Kelleybee.

January 30 - Well, our boy Tom DeLay is all over the news today. 
     First, Steve lets us know that Tom got his name over at Slate today.  At the bottom, which Steve assures us, is where he belongs. 

Now McCain can expect an influx of money from supporters and a hail of attacks from that portion of the GOP establishment that despises him. The race has shaken out, and it's now down to just Romney and McCain. While McCain has the momentum and will inherit most of Giuliani's supporters when he drops out, Romney, who can spend his own money, will now benefit from all of those Republicans who McCain has pissed off over the years. Already David Bossie, longtime GOP operative denounced by members of both parties in the past, is behind an ad campaign airing on Fox that compares McCain to Hillary Clinton. Rush Limbaugh is already on Romney's side, and Tom DeLay will no doubt come out of retirement with a broken beer bottle.

     Not before he drinks the beer, of course.
     And then the Austin American Statesman says Tom has become an issue in the Travis County DA's race.

The decision to seek a grand jury indictment against then-U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay — and the discussions among Travis County District Attorney Ronnie Earle and his assistants on the matter — has emerged as an issue in the campaign to replace Earle, who is retiring.

DeLay, who has been charged with money laundering, stands accused in Travis County of turning corporate donations, which cannot be used in state campaigns, into campaign donations to seven state House candidates in 2002. He resigned from the U.S. House of Representatives after he was indicted, although he has denied wrongdoing.

Rick Reed, one of four candidates seeking to replace Earle, resigned Monday from his job as an assistant district attorney on the heels of his assertion that he was the only prosecutor in the office who wanted to present DeLay's case to a grand jury in 2005.

     Personally, I think the case in Travis County is the least of DeLay's worries.  However, he can pick the one he's most scared of and go to Austin and campaign for them. 
     Plus, them books of his ain't selling none at all. 

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January 30 - Thanks to Jim Morin for the smile ---

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January 29 - Bad news for Rudolph Giuliani:  Rick Perry is campaigning for him in Florida.
     Good news for Texans:  Rick Perry ain't here.
     Good news for America:  Rick Perry will be kissing his Vice Presidential aspirations goodbye tonight because Romney nor McCain need a southern fruitcake on their ticket.

AUSTIN — Texas Gov. Rick Perry campaigned in Florida with Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani on Monday to give Giuliani a last-minute boost with conservatives in the pivotal primary state.

Perry joined the former New York mayor for an airport rally in Orlando, then they headed on to similar events in St. Petersburg, Fort Myers, Fort Lauderdale and Miami in advance of Tuesday's primary.

Giuliani has yet to win a primary and has geared his campaign strategy around a victory in Florida. Recent polls show Giuliani trailing John McCain and Mitt Romney in the state.

Giuliani's campaign wanted to have Perry in Florida last week, but Perry wasn't available until Monday, said Perry spokesman Robert Black.

Perry was in Washington, D.C., over the weekend, so "he decided just to take off and go down there," Black said. He'll return to Washington on Tuesday for business with the Republican Governors Association, which he chairs.

     Okay, now that I know Rick's there for Rudy, I'm ready to make my prediction for the winner of the Florida GOP primary.  My prediction is - Not Rudy.

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January 29 - And just to keep that Republican incompetence ball rolling, today we present Republican House Speaker from Oklahoma Lance Cargill ---

OKLAHOMA CITY -- House Speaker Lance Cargill stepped down Monday afternoon amid a swirl of controversy over his repeated failures to file his tax returns on time.

Cargill, a Republican, said Monday, "I have decided to step aside today as speaker of the Oklahoma House of Representatives." He will keep his House seat, which he has held since 2001.

Records show that Cargill, 36, failed to file timely state and federal personal income taxes for two years in a row, saying that he is to receive refunds. Cargill also was delinquent for six years straight in filing property taxes owed on his law office in Harrah, his hometown.

     Alfredo says this Texas / Oklahoma competition has gone too far. 
     Can we call agree now that the GOP is unfit to run any government anywhere on any level?  Those opposed say, "Rudy Giuliani" without laughing. 

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January 29 - Alfredo sends us charming news about our own Tom DeLay still trying to sell his book, even in Arkansas at .... well, see for yourself.  

Nine years ago, Tom DeLay led the charge to impeach the 42nd president of the United States. But that was then, and this is now, when the mighty have fallen and irony knows no bounds. (And when two former enemies are hell bent on knocking off the same GOP presidential candidate.)

On Thursday, DeLay, the former conservative firebrand from Texas, is due to speak to students at the Clinton School of Public Service at the University of Arkansas about the 2008 Republican presidential nomination and his book, "No Retreat, No Surrender: One American's Fight" - a chunk of which chronicles the impeachment saga.

     I dunno.  Folks who live here know the true irony of Tom DeLay calling anybody Hillbilly.  They had to sit him down and teach him table manners before they ran him for office, and it hasn't gotten any better since then except that he no longer chews with his mouth open. 
     I mean, goodness sake, while he was married and the The Lege, he nicknamed his apartment complex in Austin "Macho Manor."  Hell, I know trailer parks with classier names.
     Tom, the war is over.  You lost.  Clinton has a library. You have legal bills. 

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January 28 - The Quorum Report (subscription only) is saying that tomorrow one of Fort Bend's Republican Senators, Kyle Janek, will announce his resignation effective in March.
     The Houston Chronicle confirms it.

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January 28 - Okay, if you're one of the three people here from Liz Mitton's "I'm Just Ga-Ga Over Dean" anonymous website, please note how often she steals from me (even my Roll Call subscription) wholesale, but then calls me insane. I'm considering sending her a bill for my work, or at least demanding a byline. 
     Honey, there ain't no baking powder in her biscuits, if ya know what I mean.  Poop on her and the broom she rode in on. 
     Head on over and take a lookie-peep right here to see the kind of people who support Dean.
     Cheezzzz ... Olson screwed-up, but at least he didn't make us the laughing stock of the entire country and a couple of emerging nations.

       CD22 GOP candidate Pete Olson has either (1) wasted a big ole pile of money, or (2) wins the "Let's Disenfranchise Democrats" Award.
     In political consultant terms, I'm what's called a triple-D. That means I voted in the past three Democratic primaries.  Republican primary candidates know better than to waste a stamp on me. 
     Except for Mr. Olson.
     Mr. Olson not only wasted a stamp on me, he insulted the peewadoodle out of me while doing it.
     He sent me a mailer saying that I have "earned the right to vote early" because I'm older than rocks.
     Well, thanks a lot Captain Loveboat.
     Olson sent me a mailer to register to vote in the GOP primary by mail because I am over 65 years old.
     Like hell you say.
     Hey, Bub, I may remember the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, but I'm a looong way from 65.  So is my husband, who also got one.  And so is my son.  No kidding, even my kid got one.
     Click on the little one to get the big one.
     Okay, so after I got this, called some of my Democratic friends in the district and ask them if they got one, too.
     They did.  And all the women were steamed because none of them are 65 years old. 
      So, take a look at it.  Unless I looked carefully, I wouldn't notice that I'm swearing that I'm 65 years old or older.
     Let's pretend that I wasn't paying close attention and I figured that I had "earned" the right to vote in the comfort of my own home because Pete Olson said I had.  I mean, it's got a picture of former Senator Phil Gramm and a flag and the Navy and everything.  Looks official to me.
     Let's say I mail that sucker in.
     Then soon a Republican primary ballot comes in the mail.  "Oh crapola," I say, and file an environmental impact study to throw that thing in the garbage. 
     Then on election day I try to go vote in the Democratic primary.  Huh oh.  They'll have a record that I requested a GOP mail ballot and not allow me to vote.
     If that happened, I'd go put something on that boy's head that you can't get off with Ajax. 
     I think he needs to send all of us youngsters an apology and a double apology to Democrats before he gets national attention for silliness like Dean Hrbacek did.
     So either the guy is trying to keep Democrats from voting in their own primary or he's wasting money like a maniac before he even gets elected.  I thought Republicans were required to wait until after they were elected to do that. 

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January 27 - Now, see, I have a problem with this. 

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A large U.S. spy satellite has lost power and propulsion and could hit the Earth in late February or March, government officials said Saturday.

The satellite, which no longer can be controlled, could contain hazardous materials, and it is unknown where on the planet it might come down, they said.

The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because the information is classified as secret.

     Okay, so let's see if I have gathered all the facts. 
     (1) A big ole thing with hazardous materials might very well come crashing down on my head.
     (2) It's a big secret.

     See, I don't get that.
     Is it only a secret if it hits me?  I dunno.  This is worrisome.  Let me promise you that if it hits me, it won't be secret for long because I'm gonna tell.  Everybody I know.  Loudly. 
     I figure they'll let us know if it's coming to Texas because we're a red state.  They'll want us to take cover and protect ourselves. 
     You blue state people are oh so screwed. There's a big ole thing with hazardous materials headed your way and it won't stop until it hits something as big as the ground.  But, hush, because it's a secret.
     No, seriously, you're screwed.

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January 26 - The Texas Observer looks at the Ten Little Monkeys Jumpin' on the Bed hoping to land in Congress.
     It's a fun read, including the great Pete Olson quote, “Anybody who has been paying attention, I believe, realizes that the federal government is a federal issue.”
     It appears that none of them has a triple digit IQ.

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January 25 - Now here's an idea I can get behind.

Bill Clinton: 'Screw It, I'm Running For President'

CHARLESTON, SC—After spending two months accompanying his wife, Hillary, on the campaign trail, former president Bill Clinton announced Monday that he is joining the 2008 presidential race, saying he "could no longer resist the urge."

"My fellow Americans, I am sick and tired of not being president," said Clinton, introducing his wife at a "Hillary '08" rally. "For seven agonizing years, I have sat idly by as others experienced the joys of campaigning, debating, and interacting with the people of this great nation, and I simply cannot take it anymore. I have to be president again. I have to."

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January 25 - Now I know it's hard to believe that any politician is too dirty to be allowed to live in Texas, but I think Alberto Gonzalez has to move out of the state.  He just crossed that line.
     Look, we got Tom DeLay back, Karl Rove is lurking around Austin, and Gonzalez is coming back here to root for the George W Bush library.  One of the three has to go and I picked Gonzalez.  No, really, here's why - he's honkin' lady justice. 
     Our friend Alfredo tells us that apparently the Gonzalez Justice Department was pretty much run on the model of the Bulgarian Interior Ministry.

Citing a violation of Justice Department regulations, a federal judge ordered federal prosecutors Thursday to hand over information that could help embattled Southfield lawyer Geoffrey Fieger scuttle charges that he illegally contributed $127,000 to John Edwards' 2004 presidential campaign.

U.S. District Judge Paul Borman gave prosecutors seven days to tell Fieger and codefendant and law partner Vernon (Ven) Johnson why U.S. Attorney Stephen Murphy and two top aides, Terrence Berg and Jonathan Tukel, were recused from the probe. He also ordered them to provide a list of other cases in eastern Michigan where large numbers of FBI agents were used to conduct a raid and interview potential witnesses.

Fieger and Johnson had requested but not received the information.

"The court is not concluding that there has been governmental misconduct," Borman said in his 30-page ruling.

But he said there were enough questionable aspects about the case that Fieger and Johnson were entitled to the information to try to support their claim that the investigation and criminal charges were politically motivated.

     Okay, even though the FEC normally handles such probes and this is the first prosecution of its type in eastern Michigan in at least 25 years, "questionable" is the best word they could come up with?

Fieger, a former Democratic candidate for governor, contends the probe was ordered by the Bush administration, which appointed Murphy as U.S. attorney in Detroit.

Borman said there are several unusual aspects about the case.

He said prosecutors failed to get Justice Department approval to conduct the investigation of campaign contributions until seven months after it started, a violation of department rules governing probes of campaign contributions.

     Yep, honkin' lady justice.  He has to go. 

January 25 - You knew it was coming.  He just couldn't help himself.  John Kelso, everybody's favorite Texas humorist, gives his take on Dean Hrbacek and the magic weight loss.

Hrbacek might be onto something. In fact, I'm thinking of trying it out with my own photo by putting my head on top of Britney Spears. Although I might be a little too old to be on top of Britney Spears.

Hey, even DeLay didn't lie about his looks. Of course, he had to stay fairly trim so he could fit all that money in his suit pockets. If he'd porked up, there wouldn't have been enough room in those clothes for all the campaign checks.

     And then there's this ---

But it's pretty obvious that the real reason Hrbacek ran a phony photo is that he didn't want to look like a load. It's like those TV ads for the product for men that turns your hair from gray to dark. You know, "No Play for Mister Gray." Well, in Hrbacek's case the doctored photo was "Where It's At for Mister Fat."

     Give yourself a treat and go read the whole thing.  Kelso is the best.  He also gets some priceless comments from Dean's opponents.
     Bless Dean's heart, he could have had a sense of humor about this and came out on top, but his ego wouldn't allow that.  So, you can pour some gravy on him because he's cooked.

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January 25 - Carol (a displaced Texan in Vermont) sent us the Cutting Edge Boomer National Anthem.  Jack up the sound and get ready to dance!

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January 25 - Friday grin from Mike Luckovich --

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January 24 - We get email about Lou Dobbs and Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace ---

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January 24 - I've got more than a passing interest in the horrors of the Harris County District Attorney's office because I live dangerously close to Houston. 
     Today, we learn that they talk in code at the DA's office.  People of color are called "Canadians."  In an email that went to every prosecutor ....

"He overcame a subversively good defense by Matt Hennessey that had some Canadians on the jury feeling sorry for the defendant and forced them to do the right thing."

Now, some of you may wonder what "some" Canadians were doing on a Harris County jury, and why they were suspected of sympathizing with this particular defendant.

At the time, many folks in the District Attorney's Office had similar questions. But a few knew exactly what it meant, and more caught on as they consulted an online racial slur database, which lists the term "Canadian" as code for the N-word.

     Now the fact that not one prosecutor spoke up and said, "Whoa, Fellas, we're charged with seeking justice, not fooling juries into over-sentencing people," bothers me more than just a tad.  That place needs cleaning out - top to bottom.
     But, I have a confession to make.  I have a code word for Chuck Rosenthal.  Twit.

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January 24 - Deb says she can explain this ---

FORT WORTH, Texas - U.S. military officials said Wednesday that fighter jets were training in a rural area the night of Jan. 8 when dozens of people reported seeing a UFO.

Although officials at the Naval Air Station Reserve Base in Fort Worth initially said none of their planes were in the area of the UFO reports, they changed their story Wednesday, saying that 10 F-16 fighter jets built by Lockheed Martin Corp. were training near Stephenville, about 70 miles (112 kilometers) southwest of Fort Worth, about the time of the sightings.

     As every good southern girl knows, January 8th is Elvis' birthday.
     Verdelia says she saw Elvis several years ago - he was at the Dairy Queen in Tyler, wearing white socks and a Members Only jacket.  She heard he was married to a big haired ole girl who was the former Miss Crab Queen in San Leon. 
     So something weird always happens on Elvis' birthday, and I don't mean weird like the whole Rotary Club in Stephenville getting drunk and seeing things. 

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January 23 - Wellcare, the disgraced health insurance company who gave political donations to Texas Senator John Cornyn, is back in the news ----

The board of WellCare Health Plans Inc. is negotiating the departure of the company's three top executives amid a probe into fraud allegations at the managed-care provider, according to people familiar with aspects of the proceedings. The talks' outcome could be announced as soon as Thursday.

----

The Wall Street Journal reported in early November that the investigation centers at least in part on allegations that the company inflated the amount it spent on mental-health care in order to keep money it should have refunded to Florida's Medicaid program. Among other questions, authorities are probing whether reinsurance arrangements with a Cayman Islands subsidiary allowed the company to misrepresent outlays for care.

     John Cornyn became one of their favorite Senators once they discovered that the FBI was breathing down their necks.  In fact, Alfredo just let me know that all three of the top executives who are "departing" are recent major Cornyn donors.
     John Cornyn would steal the gold out of a widow woman's teeth.  He's so slick that he can't keep his socks up.
     It'll be a dandy day this November when he's gone.

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January 23 - Okay, so I was all set to write about Republican Harris County DA Chuck Rosenthal and his hanky-panky and how that came to be connected to Republican Texas Supreme Court Justice David Medina.
     I mean, that's a great story - hoochy-koochy, fire, political favors, grand juries, and email. 
     I've got these girlfriends in Mississippi, mainly Emily and Lotus.  They got all hacked-off at me while I was distracted by Dean and Andy and local Republicans in general.  Emily and Lotus depend on me to tell them everything about Texas, which explains why they stay in Mississippi. 
     So, they decided to do some research on their own, and by golly, they got it right.  When Lotus gets around to it, she'll post a comment from me about all this.  (In a former non-blog, I used to be Juanita Jean Herownself.  I may have to do that again soon.)
     Head on over and catch yourself up.  You'll enjoy it.  It's called - "The Great MS/TX “My State’s Wusser’n Your State” Grudge Rodeo."  Guys, we gotta win this one. I mean, we just gotta.

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January 23 - Earl thought we needed to know about this. Sometimes Earl is wrong.
    Just when you think you live in the craziest place on earth, Earl finds somewhere crazier. 
     (Momma, do not click this link.  Don't.  It's not nice.  In fact, quit reading right now.  You don't want to know this.) 

A controversial Virginia lawmaker is trying to introduce new legislation to ban rubber testicles from being fitted to the back of trucks.

Lionel Spruill, known for his failed attempt in 2005 to ban baggy pants, says the motivation for his latest idea came from a constituent.

     Hey, Lionel Spruill, we need to get you and our Commissioner Andy Meyers together - he tried to ban hooter cakes.
     We have a failing economy.  We have hunger.  We have a failing infrastructure.  We have a needless war.  We have bull testicles. 
     (Momma wants everyone to know I wasn't raised this way.)

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January 22 - MoJo is coming your way!
     This is going to put a whole new face on local news.  Think of it as your own private community television, without commercials or talking heads.
     If it works here, it's just a matter of time until this concept takes hold across the nation.

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January 22 -  Roll Call (subscription only) has a lengthy article about the GOP CD-22 election, obviously written before Dean Hrbacek made #3 Keith Olbermann's Best People in the World.
     Roll Call contends that Shelley will finish first and the fight is over which one of the fellas will come in second.

Although Republicans following the 22nd district primary are reasonably confident that Sekula Gibbs will finish first on March 4 and that either Hrbacek, Olson, Manlove or Talton will join her in the April runoff, they say the race remains hard to gauge, and they caution that the unexpected could easily occur.

"I think it will be a classic, late-decision campaign about who has the best chance of defeating Nick [Lampson]," said one GOP insider. "I don't think it will be one where he or she who has the best message or most money will win. It will be a confluence of events."

     However, Silly Shelley hasn't got it in the bag ---

Although Sekula Gibbs lost her write-in bid for the 110th Congress, she won a special election that was held on the same day to serve out the remainder of DeLay's term. However, her relationship with DeLay's old staff and the Texas GOP delegation turned rancorous during her brief stint on Capitol Hill.

Consequently, a majority of the Texas GOP House delegation - as well as many 22nd district GOP insiders - prefer that one of her opponents win the primary and advance to the November general election against Lampson. Although internal Republican polls have shown Sekula Gibbs to have wide name recognition, those same surveys show her leading the field with slim support, as low as just above 20 percent.

Sekula Gibbs' personal negatives also are high, according to Republican strategists who are unaffiliated with any of her opponents but are familiar with the surveys in question.

     So, expect this to be one of the dirtiest races in the history of CD22, which is saying something powerful, 'cuz we like our politics raw and Republicans like it still on the hoof. 

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January 21 - Earl rides in here again, and hitches his horse to our rail.  Welcome, Earl ---

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January 21 - Oh Dear, it turns out that Shelley Of Many Names, is a Mitt Romney flip-flopper.  The CD22 race just gets funner and funner.

In her campaign to return to Congress, Houston dermatologist Shelley Sekula Gibbs' justifications for her switch on the abortion issue appear to conflict with the knowledge of neutral medical experts — and her record on the issue has been ridiculed by a prominent supporter from 2006.

Sekula Gibbs sought the endorsement of Planned Parenthood and said abortion should remain a legal option when she ran for a Houston City Council seat in 2001. But in her 2006 race against Democrat Nick Lampson to replace Tom DeLay in the U.S. House, she said she had undergone a complete change of heart and mind on the issue.

     Shelley Sekula Gibbs, the seven week wonder witch who served in Congress in the special election and managed to make news with her abrasive personality and downright meanness, is back to haunt us over abortion.
     It seems she doesn't know much about it.  Which is kinda scary considering she's a doctor.  Okay, a dermatologist, but she did go to medical school.  I suspect.
     She apparently doesn't know much about being a Congresscritter either.

In an on-air discussion with the candidate this month, station KSEV's conservative talk show hosts Edd Hendee and Pat Gray pointed out Sekula Gibbs had the chance to vote on only one abortion bill. Hendee contributed $2,100 to her campaign against Lampson two years ago.

"Are you honestly going to stand on a 100 percent right-to-life vote when you served in Congress for literally two weeks?" Hendee asked, referring to the time period the House was in session in December 2006.

"Actually it was seven weeks, but absolutely," Sekula Gibbs answered, referring to her total time in office. She added that she also gave a forceful speech during the House debate on the unsuccessful bill, which would have required doctors to offer patients pain blockers for the fetus before proceeding with abortions involving pregnancies of 20 weeks or more.

     Talk, talk, talk.  She can do that very well.

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January 20 - We have an update on the Dean Hrbacek shoes story.
     A reader did the work and - ta da! - I was right. 
     Click the little one to get the big one.

     Also, I just heard from a low level semi-reliable backdoor source that Bev Carter has the icing on top the cake on the Dean story and it'll be in her column on Wednesday.
     It's good, but I won't steal her thunder.

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January 20 - My friend T.S. says we should all join in the Chuck Rosenthal haiku contest.  I agree. 
     Head on over for a Sunday afternoon laugh.  And, please don't forget, limericks are fun, too.  (Lots of words rhyme with Chuck, ya know.)

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January 20 - Look, I hate to obsess on this Dean Hrbacek thing, but something new has been brought to my attention. 
     Plus, I gotta tell you, I got 997 extra hits on this site yesterday from all over America --- all hunting for "Dean Hrbacek."  I ain't joking. 
     So, the way I see it, it's my civic duty.
     So, here goes.  Recall how Dean's excuse for Photoshopping his picture was that he didn't have time for a photo session because he was so busy meeting the voters of the 22nd Congressional district? 
     Well, put me on top of a Christmas tree and call me an angel ..... he sure did have time to pose for the Land's End catalog.

     But I want you to see the whole page of this mailer.  I want you to notice how the shoestrings on the big picture of the boots he's wearing in the picture are hanging exactly the same as the big boots on the other side.  Ain't that one of them woo-woo coincidences?
     Click the little one to get the big one.

     First off, if Dean walked 600 miles, he wouldn't need to use a body double.  If you read the fine print, Dean's campaign walked an estimated 600 miles, by Dean's "guess".  Dean walked two and half miles.  Tops.  Then he had to stop and get a cheeseburger. 
     Plus, I'll bet you a round of golf at Fast Eddie's Par 3 Golfing Extravaganza and Fishing Camp that Dean borrowed someone else's body for that picture, too.  In fact, I'd probably pay pretty good cash American money to see Dean Hrbacek even get into that pose, and extra to see him stand back up.
     Y'all, seriously, I thought Fort Bend had lost it's rightful place as America's source for cheap political entertainment and ridicule when Tom DeLay left office.  But after I saw America coming to my website last night, searching desperately for political hilarity, I formed my Official Dean Hrbacek Endorsement Exploratory Committee last night.  I think I'm gonna have to seriously consider endorsing him.  America needs Dean Hrbacek.    

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January 19 - UPDATED:  Okay, so I've been gone all day, but I got a call at 2:00 this afternoon to tell me that the Dean Hrbacek story was now on the front page of CNN dot com. 
     Sure 'nuf, the caller made a screenshot of it for me.  If you doubt me, email me and I'll send you the whole screen shot.  Here's where it was ----

     It also made the Greenville, North Carolina Daily Reflector.  Just thought you'd want to know.
     And his wiki has been updated. 

     It's official.  Dean Hrbacek is a national laughingstock.

UPDATE:  CORRECTION:  I APOLOGIZE.  I MADE A BIG MISTAKE.  Hal reports that it also made the International Herald Tribune. 

     It's official.  Dean Hrbacek is an international laughingstock.

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January 19 - Okay, for those of you who can't get enough of a good thing, Barbara (see email below) let us know that the Dean Hrbacek story got picked up all over the country - AP, Reuter's, Yahoo, The Dallas Morning News, some tv station in Denver, and even the war room of Dr. Strangelove ---

     However, our favorite local Republican bimbo, Liz Mitton, is chastising us "libs" for not being "compassionate" toward Dean in his hour desperate need.  Liz Hon, it ain't like insatiable ego and vanity are crippling diseases.  We ain't having no damn telethon for Dean because he's chubby. 
     Try this, Liz - cancer, compassion; narcissism, ridicule.  
     I attached a copy of what Liz posted on her site because she'll go change it all tomorrow when she realizes how goofy it sounds to say that Dean did this because he's a true conservative.  Oh yeah, she said that.  B-I-M-B-O.
     Now the reason I included the picture of Strangelove Dean is that when this story broke, Dean went to the mattresses.  And out of the war room, he launched vicious attacks against his fellow Republicans. 
     However, what came out of the story was this classic line ---

He (Hrbacek) refused to say whether he had seen the brochure before it was sent to voters in the 22nd Congressional District.

     Well, I'll be darned.  The man is already acting like a Republican Congressman!

     By the way, I think there's going to be more on the Andy Meyers - Dean's good buddy - story below.  Stay tuned, Folks, because we're having big fun now.

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January 18 - Okay, so we're working on a story that might be as much fun as Dean Hrbacek and his body double. 
     It appears that County Commissioner Andy Meyers has a political consulting double. 
     This election season, Meyers paid $6,000 to an outfit called Campaign Solutions, LLC.  Well, I searched for them in the phone book and online, but they're a real quiet company - selecting not even to have a telephone number. 
     When I ran their address, 7222 Bellerive #2505, Houston, all that came back is Yours Tonight Adult Entertainment and Regency Square Apartments.
     A reader did a corporate search and guess who is listed as the "manager" of Campaign Solutions, LLC, at 7222 Bellerive, #2505?  Awwww, come on, you know how this game is played.  Take a wild guess.
     You're right, the Manager is Michael S. Meyers, son of Commissioner Andy Meyers.  If you don't believe me, and the knuckledraggers won't, go to the Texas Secretary of State's office and run a search for yourself - the filing number is 800871561 and the tax ID# is 32033747125.
     Cutely, Meyers wrote 2 checks on the same day to Campaign Solutions, LLC, totaling $4,000, only 4 days after the papers were filed with the Texas Secretary of State.
     And then, just to show you how tight all this gets in Fort Bend, the Registered Agent for Campaign Solutions, LLC is Himesh Ghandi, who lists his email address as hrbacek.com
     While all of this is duplicitous, it's not illegal. 
     Yet.  But, there's more ....
     Meyers lists payments to his son as "campaign services/ expenses - vehicle, phone, supplies, entertainment, miscellaneous."  That is going set off bells at the Texas Ethics Commission, my friends.  They have ruled before that information such as that is not specific enough. 
     For example, how do we know that "entertainment" wasn't a father / son bonding time at Yours Tonight?  We don't.  And, what supplies?  Supplies for a hunting trip?
     I dunno about you, but hiding your hinkey campaign expenditures under a shell company with your child as your shield seems pretty darned lowlife to me.
     You know, if Andy spent as much time creatively for the county as he does to hide how he's getting and spending his campaign account, he might solve some of the problems around here.
     Andy knows better, but he can't help himself.   

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January 18 - Okay, okay, this is strictly for locals, but rumor from highly placed and semi-reliable sources says that the body shot of Dean Hrbacek uses the body of .... get ready for this .... Sugar Land Mayor and Hrbacek defeater David Wallace's body.
     No, no, I'm serious.  Look at it.  It's Wallace.  I think I've even seen him in that suit. I know I've seen him in that tie.
     Out of towners can go read Dean's wiki (see 2002 Mayoral Campaign) to see just how much Dean hates David Wallace.  Or, is it really hate?

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January 18 - In the quest for the new-and-improved Dean Hrbacek, we bring you Dean and his new campaign slogan -

 

 

     Dean Hrbacek: 
      I Am What I Am

 

 

 

 

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January 18 - UPDATED. Oh Sweet Jesus, thank you for wondrous blessings.

The brochure that U.S. House candidate and former Sugar Land mayor Dean Hrbacek mailed to voters this week says, "Dean's record speaks for itself."

But his physique does not. In a photo next to the words of praise, Hrbacek's body is spoken for by the torso of an appreciably slimmer man.

The picture, presented as a true image of the candidate, is actually a computerized composite of Hrbacek's face and someone else's figure, in suit and tie, from neck to knee caps. The give-away is a flawed fit of head and collar.

     Our crack research team from The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., is on the ground right now checking for more photos of Dean Hrbacek's head on other people's bodies.  We'll have results for you soon.
     (You knew I couldn't resist, didn't you?)

UPDATE:  I know you people from foreign states probably don't understand why we local folks are laughing ourselves silly this morning with the news about Dean Hrbacek.  Okay, so a politician photoshopped his chubby body out of the picture.  So what?
     Well, for starters, Dean's body shape is very distinctive.  Very.  A penguin comes to mind.  In Texas, we refer to that as Winkie-Do, as in, "his tummy sticks out more than his Wink...." well, you can fill in the rest and figure it out.  To think that people who see him every day wouldn't notice is kinda nuts.
     Second, Dean is very vain.  Okay, let me rephrase that - Sugar Land Republicans, especially the far rightwingers - are very vain.  I mean, just look at Tom DeLay - he's had a facelift and spends more time on his hair than Jessica Simpson does. 
     Third, okay -- and this is good -- Commissioner Andy Meyers has hinted that he's threatening to sue me over the stuff I wrote here.  Guess who Andy Meyer's lawyer is?  You got it - Dean Hrbacek. (Click the little one to get the big one.)

     Oh dear, now I hope more than ever that Andy sues me.  I can hardly wait to see whose body Dean wears to court! 

January 17 - Okay, Andy Meyer's campaign finance report is ready for your viewing pleasure.  David got pretty darned fancy this time and added some bells and whistles.
     And you can see how hounding County Judge Bob Hebert made him behave a little better.
     And you can cringe at Commissioner Tom Stavinoha's report.
     I'm working on Patterson and a few others.

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January 17 - How proud Republicans must be of a justice system that looks like this. ----

HOUSTON – Texas Supreme Court Justice David Medina and his wife have been indicted in connection with the arson fire that destroyed their Houston-area home last summer.

---and then ---

Harris County District Attorney Chuck Rosenthal told 11 News he will move to dismiss the indictments for lack of evidence.

     Head on over and read the whole sordid story.  If a self-confessed perverted Democratic District Attorney was dismissing cases against a Democratic Supreme Court judge, can you even imagine the outrage on the Republican side?  Oh hell, they'd be hot as road tar in August.

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January 17 - Okay, I've picked up the campaign finance reports and have started scanning.  I did good.  I've at least scared them into acting a little better.  Not perfect yet, but a little better. 

No, wait.  I spoke too soon.  Tom Stavinoha has become a total vendor ho.  I mean, he's even taken money from PBS&J.  The man has got to go.  This is disgusting even to me and I'm pretty hardened to this crapola.  I'm scanning as fast as I can.

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January 17 - Reason #563 why you should VOTE SAFE.

The problem is that a new statewide voter registration database canceled 8,500 Travis County registrations when it came online last year.

Some of those people were almost certainly purged correctly because they now live in other parts of the state. But Travis officials say hundreds of cases have surfaced in which a registration was improperly canceled for someone living here. Hundreds more might not have been caught yet, they warn.

     Hundreds of voter registration were "accidentally" erased. 

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January 17 - Okay, so how come they didn't know this guy couldn't be trusted just by looking at his hair?  Gee, he might as well be wearing a neon sign that says, "PLAYER!"

WASHINGTON (Jan. 16) - A former congressman and delegate to the United Nations was indicted Wednesday on charges of working for an alleged terrorist fundraising ring that sent more than $130,000 to an al-Qaida supporter who has threatened U.S. and international troops in Afghanistan.

Mark Deli Siljander, a Michigan Republican when he was in the House, was charged with money laundering, conspiracy and obstructing justice for allegedly lying about being hired to lobby senators on behalf of an Islamic charity that authorities said was secretly sending funds to terrorists.

     Republicans just love their money, don't they? 
     To be honest with you, I'd take one look at this guy and decide he couldn't lobby me to be pro-education.  I'd say to myself, "You know, there's a real vacuum of leadership in the anti-education caucus.  I think I'll go with that."  Cripes. 

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January 17 - Chip Bok made me grin this morning --

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January 16 - Lone Stars and UFOs -- only in Texas.
     Okay, so most of you have heard about the UFO over Glen Rose, Texas.  There used to be dinosaurs in Glen Rose, now there's UFOs. 
     At least according to some ole boys who saw it. 

Seen any UFOs lately?

The Texas chapter of the Mutual UFO Network is looking for people who have seen strange flying objects in the Stephenville area, about 70 miles southwest of Fort Worth.

A pilot, the county constable and business owners all insist that they saw a brightly lit, silent object about a mile long and a half-mile wide, flying low and fast.

     But, that's not the best of the story.  The best of the story is that some lady in Scotland predicted the whole thing.

On Dec. 11 -- more than a month ago -- a Scottish writer and evangelist wrote exactly what would happen.

Catherine Brown, 43 and a mother of four, wrote about a heavenly vision predicting a "stunning star" over Texas that would make "front-line news."

She posted this last month on the Web site for Elijah List Ministries, an Oregon-based publishing house that seems like sort of a clearinghouse for end-of-the-world religious prophecy:

"I see Texas ablaze and a stunning star, like the star from the East rising over the land. I hear the Spirit of the Lord saying to: 'Watch for cosmic signs and wonders in Texas.'

"He said there will be a cosmological phenomenon that scientists cannot explain, and the media will carry as front-line news.

"People will begin to ask about 'the Light.' ... For a period of four months -- from Christmas to Easter -- there will be a window of opportunity for salvations, signs, healings and wonders in Texas."

Brown has never seen Texas in her life, she said Tuesday by phone from her office at Gatekeepers Global Ministries in Ayrshire, Scotland.

     A Come-To-Jesus meeting in Glen Rose seems about in order right now.  If ESP, UFOs, and the Glen Rose PTA all come together at the same time, that's just The Perfect Scorn.  That's the Trifecta of Texas Typical.
     Texas, I love yew.

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January 16 - It was worth the wait.  Hal at Half Empty introduces us to the GOP's Ten Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.
     I'm glad that Hal mentioned that defeated former Sugar Land Mayor Dean Hrbacek has had a charisma-ectomy.  He is a handy stick by which we measure boring and whiney in a five county area. 
     And, if we send Shelley Sekula Gibbs back to Washington I'm pretty sure that all the other Congressfolks will vote to give us back to Mexico.  It almost happened last time she was there. 
     Thanks, Hal. 

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January 15 - Yeah, ya think?
     At the CD22 GOP candidate forum last night, the Houston Chronicle reports this attitude----

"Shame on our party when they knew about scandals and corruptions in our (Republican) caucus and did nothing," Talton said.

Manlove agreed. "It seems like, as Republicans, we have lost our dream."

     Sweet Mother of Pearl, these people are running against their own party!
     Now, if only Andy Meyer's little crew would go the anti-corruption route.  But noooo.....

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January 15 - Granny rearranged the furniture and changed the wallpaper.  But she still makes me laugh. 
     Yep.  I'm a pod slurper.  I admit it.

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January 15 - Okay, Guys, campaign finance reports are due today so I went ahead and ordered-up the juicy ones.  It'll take me a while to get them scanned and then beg David to please, pretty please, put them in PDF format for us all to see.  So, hold your horses and once again cuss the county commissioners for not putting all these online.
     I know, I know, County Judge Bob Hebert claims he's going to use the county's emergency system to put his online.  You'd think maybe there would be a better use for the county's new emergency system, but saving Hebert the cost of putting it on his own website is probably considered an emergency in some circles. 

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January 15 - Inquiring minds want to know ---

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January 14 - I've been playing over at Bob's site.  Looks like Andy Meyer's story is taller than it is long.
     And, I would like to add something.  If Andy Meyers sues me I will go directly to his office and kiss him flat on the mouth because I would love, love, love to have subpoena power over his campaign checkbook.  That would be better than recess in heaven.

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January 13 - You're gonna laugh, but Kelly Siegler probably won't.

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January 13 - Okay, I've made a decision here.  I am no longer going to call it "EARLY Voting."  I am going to call it "SAFE Voting," and Hal gives me another reason why.

     Having Republicans run elections (in this county, they select the chief of the elections division) makes me real nervous.  If they are going to challenge my vote, I want to have time to hire myself a lawyer.   
     As Hal suggests, they might move my voting location without telling me.  Hey, if they do, I want more than a couple of hours to find it.  There's some pretty darned good hiding places in my precinct, and I suspect they'd select a dandy one.
     SAFE Voting runs from February 19 - February 29 and is in the same darned location every day. 
     A pretty smart guy once told me, "You should vote on the first day they let you.  That way, if you get run over by a truck, your vote still counts."  I like that kind of optimistic thinking.
     Plus, I figure that anything candidates say in the last two weeks of an election is probably desperation lies anyway.  It's kinda like the lies you hear in a bar 30 minutes before closing time.
     Any Democrat who doesn't Vote Safe has a loose cog in their thinkin' assembly.

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January 13 - I was in Austin yesterday and got an opportunity to thank former Texas Attorney General Jim Mattox for his courageous stand in 1985 to give The George Foundation back to the people of Fort Bend.
     While the situation with The George Foundation has improved greatly from the time it was a good-ole-boy club shielded completely from public benefit and adult responsibility, the dream of putting it back into the hands of the entire community has not come completely true ---