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February 29 - And #2 in the The Best of Fort Bend Political Mailouts is GOP CD22 candidate Jim Squire, who thinks one of this country's biggest problems is frivolous lawsuits by illegal aliens. 
     No, I'm not kidding.  Click right here.
     Gee, if he just could have added " prevent frivolous lawsuits by illegal aliens while burning the flag and not loving Jesus," he'd have this race tied-up."
     Jim Squire ain't got no flies on him when it comes to hating Mexicans, dammit.

February 29 - Okay, so here's the deal -- starting this afternoon and continuing into the weekend, I will post the Best of Fort Bend Political Mailouts.
     Our buddy David has collected and scanned them and I'll share the very best of them with you. 
     We'll start with a little teaser. 
     Ya think maybe
Greg Ordeneaux might be for REAL?  He's not just for change, dammit, he's for REAL change.

     Meanwhile, you have to admit that this makes you smile ---

February 29 - Okay, so if you have to change the rules to win, maybe you should play a different game.

The Texas Democratic Party is warning that its primary night caucuses could be delayed or disrupted after aides to White House hopeful Hillary Clinton raised the specter of an "imminent" lawsuit over its complicated delegate selection process, officials said Thursday night.

In a letter sent late Thursday to both the Clinton and Barack Obama campaigns, Texas Democratic Party attorney Chad Dunn warned that a lawsuit could ruin the Democrats' effort to re-energize voters just as they are turning out in record numbers.

     Look, if we didn't change the rules for Al Gore after he won the Presidency fair and square, we ain't changing it for nobody.
     For 25 years, Presidential candidates have used Texas for an ATM machine and nobody complained about the rule that didn't give us a voice in our party's choice for the Presidency.  A year ago, I made a modest suggestion (check March 9th) that candidates leave a little money in Texas.  Wish you had listened to me now, huh?
     Fair warning:  I will be slow on forgiveness to any candidate who files lawsuits to change the rules.  The Texas Democratic Party is just now getting our voice and standing on our feet, tall and proud.  Don't mess with us - we bite back!
     If you didn't plan enough to win a primary, then you can't plan well enough to win in November. 

February 29 - Happy Leap Day with greetings from Stuart Carlson about McBush.

February 28 - Customer A. H. let us know that Democrats in Fort Bend County even made the Christian Science Monitor. 

For most of his life Ken Stubbe has voted for Democrats for president. But as a resident of a deeply Republican suburb of Houston, in the heart of Bush country, the retired oil and gas project manager kept quiet.

He didn't talk politics with neighbors or friends. He didn't sink presidential campaign signs in his lawn. He sometimes even voted in Republican primaries, often because no Democrats were running in local races and, well, why waste his vote?

"I just kind of accepted that living here in Texas, that's the way it was," he says.

No way, no longer!

Here in Fort Bend County, a Republican stronghold represented until recently by Rep. Tom DeLay (R), the former House majority leader, Democratic turnout for early voting is 19 times greater than it was in 2004.

This month, Stubbe went to classes on caucusing and delegate selection, discreetly scouted for Democrats in his leafy subdivision, and called the local party to volunteer as an election clerk on March 4. On Wednesday, he picked up a sign at a newly opened Barack Obama campaign office here, determined to plant it next to the Hillary Rodham Clinton sign his wife Karen had put up beside the driveway a few days earlier.

Woo, woo, too.

February 28 - Email from my Yankee friends ---

You might as well hang it up, the November results have accidentally been leaked.

February 28 - Earl is typing again ...

I just got that Ron Reynolds mailer and saw your picture on it.  I take it they wanted to show that ole Ron had the Big Hair Brigade behind him.  And what's this baloney about you being a "Community Activist?"  I would have called you our Community Proctologist, on account of you are always trying to shine a flashlight in intimate places which "certain people" would rather NOT see the light of day--their campaign finance reports.  Or perhaps Community Cemetery Warden, because you're always wondering where all the bodies are--"Those headstones mean both diddly AND squat!"

Where I come from a "Community Activist" was the crazy old lady in the house on the corner lot shooting at Martians with her pellet gun. Hey, don't knock it, it worked!  Those Martians knew better than to come in OUR neighborhood.

Hey, I'm funny enough to have been in three cancelled sitcoms;


Note from Susan -- yes, I strongly support Ron Reynolds for State Representative.  He's a great guy and I adore him.  The incumbent Democratic opponent is anti-choice and authored the anti-stem research bill in the Lege.  Yeah, right, she calls herself a Democrat and is now taking money from all Tom Craddick's people.
     Big haired women have to have big hair to cover their big brains, Baby.

February 27 - My friend Larry from the other side of CD22 sent me some pictures he took of Bobby Kennedy at Berkley in 1966.  I asked him to look for them and he did.  Larry says....

Found the negatives, here are two scans. These were taken about 1966, definitely between Sept. 1964 and July 1967, while I attended there. I was sitting back quite a ways, but had a 300 mm lens on my 6x6 camera. I see there is some dust on them, but didn't try to get rid of it.

Incidentally, do you see any long-haired hippies in these photos? And as I recall, there was the smell of Eucalyptus in the air, nothing more!



Men without hope, resigned to despair and oppression, do not make revolutions. It is when expectation replaces submission, when despair is touched with the awareness of possibility, that the forces of human desire and the passion for justice are unloosed.

     ---Robert F. Kennedy, Berkeley, 10-22-1966

We can master change not though force or fear, but only though the free work of an understanding mind, though an openness to new knowledge and fresh outlooks, which can only strengthen the most fragile and most powerful of human gifts: the gift of reason.

     --- Johannesburg, South Africa, June 8, 1966

Excuse me while I go wipe my eyes.

February 27 - We have a political consultant in this county named Karen Pearson who has become semi-infamous for illegal placement of campaign signs. 
     I started documenting it back when I worked for the newspaper years ago,  making the comment that I hoped I didn't die during campaign season because Pearson would slap one of her client's political signs on my casket. 
     You don't even have to look at campaign reports to see who hires her - just look at who has the most illegal sign placements and -- ta da! -- Pearson is at work. 
     Pearson recently teamed-up with renown quitter and former GOP party chairman Gary Gillen to become a team of .... I dunno, "consultants" is way too nice a word.
     They got hired by Crazy Bob Talton in his race for the GOP CD22 championship.
     You know how I know that?

     Yep - that's a political sign hanging over the railroad underpass, as illegal as shoplifting.
     I suspect they're hoping it doesn't fall on a passing auto, like your's, or worse yet - mine.
     And, yes, of course they hung one on each side. 
     I was at the grocery store the other day and ran into a Republican friend of mine, who asked me if Talton had hired Pearson / Gillen.  I said yes.  Gillen is a resident of Richmond.
     The Republican grinned and said, "Man, I would have paid money to see Gillen haul his overpadded a-double-s up on that railroad track!  That must have been a site!"
     (Hey, it's a small town and entertainment like that is worth the price of admission!)
     However, there's no need to worry.  If that sign isn't removed within three days after election, I'm posting Gary Gillen's home phone number right here on the world wide web.  You can call him to collect rent on your right-of-way.
     I'd post his phone number before then, but I'm kinda hoping that Crazy Bob wins.  We need more crazy, un-law-abiding Republicans to whoop in November.

February 27 - Ole Alan Bernstein over at the Chronicle Blog has caught himself a case of snarky. 
     Writing about CD22 Republican candidate John Manlove kicking his opponent Pete Olson for not voting in the GOP primary in Virginia, which happened most likely because there are no primaries in Virginia, Bernstein concludes ...

For the record, no one here at the Houston Politics blog went snow-skiing in the Houston area this winter, and that's mostly because there was no snow.

     Nah, I think it's because you let the heat terrorists win.  You hate us for our good weather.  We have to fight the   Freezeofascists over there (Dallas) so we don't have to fight them here. 
     Buck up, Bernstein, if you can't ski down the Gulf Freeway in August with or without snow, then John Manlove had made his point -- you don't have what it takes.

February 26 - Okay, so if you can't win on the issues, try spookin' the pee-wa-doddle outta everybody
     Hey, it worked for Bush!
     CD 22 GOP hopeful Brian Klock is gaining the tremble vote.  There's not only hell and brimstone - there's snipers, hell and brimstone.

     Silly Shelley says we should be concerned but not scared and Dean Hrbacek says --- oh, who cares? --- everybody is looking to see if he can detach his head.
     By the way, a good email keeper forwarded me an email from Dean Hrbacek that was sent in May of 2005 when it was obvious to everyone that Tom DeLay is a crook.

     Hrbacek sent it to all the GOP precinct chairs.  And, that's Reason #67 why I ask you to join me in supporting Dean Hrbacek for the GOP Nomination for CD22.  Think of the fun we'll have between March and November! 

He must have gotten a picture taken  when the Phillips 66 Refinery blew up.
(Way long before we ever heard the word "terrrist.")
I may be wrong, but I think people have caught on to this b.s.
A lot more people seem to be paying a lot more attention to politics, and issues.  Not so willing anymore to have somebody scare them into not thinking for themselves.
I hope so anyway.

February 26 - I hate to start a post as good as this one with an apology, but I have to.
     I left my moving picture show camera at home the night my friend Texas State Representative Senfronia Thompson spoke to the Fort Bend Democrats last Friday evening.  So, my sweet daughter-in-law recorded as best she could with her little Nikon Coolpix camera. 
     There's a good chance that Democrats will win the Texas House back this year and, when they do, Senfronia will become the first female and the first African-American speaker of the Texas House.  Senfronia is one of my personal heroes, and maybe this small clip from her speech will tell you why.
     If I did this right, it opens in Quick Time.  You will love it.  Share it with every hell-raiser you know!

February 26 - We get email from teevee-watching Earl ---

Hidee Susan,

I take it you didn't catch the Channel 13 Candiate Forum Sunday morning at 11.  Poor journalist Art Rascon was saddled with 9 of the Republican candidates for Dist. 22, with Pete Olson a no-show due to having to attend a fundraiser in Washington D.C.  The other candidates wanted to have an empty chair on the set, but Rascon just made a statement about Olson's absence.  The highlight was when La Belle Shelley was discussing immigration and said that we need that wall on the Texas border.  Art Rascon said that the Texans down there don't want the wall.  Shelley said, "Yes they do." But Rascon said they'd just done a news report on it and had asked them and they DON'T want it.  So Shelley said that they're just upset about losing access to the river for their cattle.  Actually, they're upset about CEDING thousands of acres of Texas land to Mexico because the wall will become the de facto border!  I really admire that Shelley didn't allow herself to become confused by the facts like that.  No wonder she's running for Tom DeLay's seat--to maintain the tradition of Clueless Congressmembers from 22.


And Earl added ----

Oh yeah, and they said that those long lines in the Emergency Rooms at hospitals are because of ILLEGAL ALIENS!  Funny, I thought it was because of more and more working people being too poor to have a regular doctor.  Oh, and Cynthia Dunbar is running for Congress because she wants a PAYING government job instead of that Texas Board of Education freebie she's got now.  Makes you wonder if she's in the market to "trade up" from her First Husband as well.  Oh, and everyone HATES Pete Olson to pieces, and they don't care who knows it.  Well, even a stopped clock is right twice a day, I suppose.


February 25 - More proof that you have to get in line to be the craziest person running for the GOP CD22 slot.

A billboard went up along the Southwest Freeway depicting the Bayou City as a terrorist target. It is a bright orange fire cloud over Houston.

It's a campaign billboard for Brian Klock, a Republican candidate for U.S. Rep. District 22.

"I don't want people scared. I don't want anyone upset. I want people to be aware," said Klock.

Klock is a latecomer to the political scene.

Spending roughly $10,000 on the billboard, the reserve navy commander stands by his platform that Houston is a target for terrorism.

"I used to read the threat. I knew what was going on locally right here in Houston. I believe it is a real threat," he said.

The billboard depicts Houston's economic heart under attack -- the ship channel, refineries and the skyline all seen through the scope of a gun.

"It's a depiction of a worse case scenario I want people to know it's out there," Klock said.

     I'll see if I can get a picture of it for you. 
     Four of the other candidates quoted in the article basically say, "Danged!  I wish I'd thought of that!"
     Even Pete Olson says that Klock's "heart is in the right place."  Good Lord, it's not his heart I'm worried about - it's his head. I don't think up his behind is the right place.

February 24 - For the half dozen or so people who give a big bear's butt about my view of the Austin Presidential debate and who I plan to caucus for, here ya go.
     It took me a while to get it written because the weather's been good and I've been enjoying it.


I just love the way you express my thoughts. Thanks.


I read your website. 
You expressed a lot of what I feel about this race.  As a woman, how can you not want to finally see  a woman occupy the Oval Office?
It's been agony.  I was an early Kucinich supporter, because of the war.
Then Edwards.  Then Kucinich supported Obama, as second choice in Iowa.   Now, Kucinich is fighting for his political  life in Ohio.
None of this has been an easy choice.
Your thoughtful analysis of why you made yours, reflects what a lot of us have felt.
It was a wonderful commentary. 
Thanks again, for all you do.


hey girl!
No surprise that your Obama endorsement was better written than my own modest effort, but glad to see that we both jumped in the same pond!  Here's my reasoning, via Social Notes (scroll down to The Rant), with a new paragraph added after I sent the damn email out!


Susan, I love your hair, girl.  Does Juanita still do it? 


Wow. Your report on the debate was easily the best I have seen you write. The whole time I read it I was nodding my head because that was the way I felt during the debate.

When Obama first made his presence known I talked with friends in Hawaii, including one who had lived next door to the grandparents when Barack was a boy, and said at that time that I thought he was a little too lightweight for the Republican Hate Machine. Although I think the Clinton Administration was a success after the 12 years of credit card binge spending and especially what happened after there was enough shadiness that I wouldn't want to see it repeated. On the other hand I WANTED REPUBLICANS OUT and only backed Hillary because I thought she was the only one mean enough to take them on.

To see a candidate succeed on a positive message brings back memories from long, long ago which 6 months before I would have dismissed as caused by the same things that made me wear my hair too long and think Iron Butterfly was a good band. Now even my 86 year old mother who has gone Republican since women got the right to vote supports Obama. And when my new car gets delivered this Friday it's getting GO BO plates for it. (Oooh, can't wait for my wingnut brother to see that)

I really did think it would take someone who was overtly ambitious and conniving as Hillary to win but now it looks like I can support someone I can actually feel good about. I really don't want to spend the next 4 or 8 years "well, yeah, but your guys are worse".

And yes, I'd like to see an woman president. And black. And Hawaiian. And Mexican. And a lot of others and from mixtures of all the above.  But more than that I want someone who will do the right thing.

Thank you

Dear Susan,
I just read your essay, and I completely agree with it.  We need Hillary on the supreme court more than we need her in the Whitehouse !!!  Also Edwards would be the only one able to clean up the Justice Dept. and make the the "axis of evil" in power now responsible for their crimes against humanity,  We need Dennis Kucinich as Sec. of Defense  Which should be renamed Sec. of Peace. 

I like the Obama/Clinton/Edwards scenario.  I intend to propose a resolution at the county convention to have the new administration set up a commission designed with the specific purpose of investigating civil rights abuses perpetrated by the Bush administration including use of torture, illegal wiretaps, suspension of habeus corpus.  I'd also like to see someone take a good look at the awarding of contracts to companies like KBR.  With Obama in the top spot and Edwards as AG we just might see some justice for a change.
Sam in Pearland

Dear Susan,
    I haven't had much to write about lately but your story about how you realized that you had made up your mind to support the junior Senator from Illinois instead of the junior Senate Carpetbagger from New York, Warshington Dee Cee, Arkansas, Georgetown, and Maine Twsp. High School prompted me to write.
    After 5 years as a registered Green, I went over to the county office building last week and registered as a Democrat.  I'd just been to the dentist, so I was already feeling about as masochistic as a body can or else I might not have been able to do it.  But if you want to play you have to play by the rules and since Pennsyltucky has a closed primary system you need to be one or the other.  I was tempted to be a Republican because our Congresscritter is not going to stand for re-election and it's a pretty Repugnicant oriented district so having a say in which reprobate gets nominated there was worth considering.  And I do have a fondness for some Republicans.  Well one anyway.  Way back in 1976 when I had a bumper sticker that said "Anybody but Ford or Carter" on my 1972 gray Ford Galaxy narcmobile, I made the acquaintance of a young lady whose father was elected to Congress from a district in upstate New York (Rochester area) back in 1968.  She arranged for me to acquire an invitation to the inauguration of Jimmy Carter and along the way I met her father the Congressman.  He died just a few years back and it was only recently that I discovered that he had a rule about never accepting a contribution greater than $50 from anyone.  If there were more like him around, I'd find it easy to be a Republican but, as Charles Barkley said "I used to be a Republican before they lost their minds".  Besides, the Democratic Presidential Primary in Pennsylvania might be important this year.  It wasn't the last time around just like Texas wasn't important in 2000 when I voted as a Republican in order to be able to vote against Duh-bya twice in the same year.
    I think I'd rather see John Edwards as President than either of the current contenders.  Locally, we have a super-delegate who used to be our state house representative and lost to our current Congresscritter after the previous one resigned.  As our representative in Harrisburg, she was a pretty strong voice for women's issues having pushed through the "Potty Parity" bill which required equalizing the number of stalls in the rest rooms.  Only it didn't do so much to increase the number of stalls in the womens' rooms as it did to decrease the number of stalls and urinals in the mens' rooms around the state.  It did succeed in equalizing waiting time at the County Fairgrounds.  She, as you might imagine, is supporting Ms. Rodham-Clinton.  That whole super-delegate system makes me shy away from the Democrats.  Ms. Ferraro's Op-Ed piece in the NY Times today says that the super-delegates are supposed to be party leaders -- which makes them sound a lot like the Politburo or maybe a Texas Homeowners Association ("Ve vill tell you when to paint your house und ve vill tell you what color to paint your house.  It is all for the benefit of efferyvun.") 
    So I too will be supporting Senator Obama.  But unlike Ms. Burleson I can't promise to support the Democrat candidate whoever it may be.  The day after the primary, my registration goes back to Green.  I probably won't have the luxury of voting my conscience come November  -- it was nice in 2000 knowing where the Texas electoral votes were going regardless of what I did -- but I don't want anybody to think they can take my vote for granted.  It's bad enough that the touch-screen voting machine tried to make me support a county commissioner candidate I didn't want to vote for last year.  I ended up with a write-in vote for someone that your Mama wouldn't have wanted to see written down.

More snow is on the way. 


Susan - I got referred here from Folo and feel the need to tell you that I loved your story.  We need more Evelyns in our Party and I'll start watching for Keli on CNN.  I'm a Hillary supporter but you've made me think.  Thank you.


Yo Susan,
That sure was worth the wait! Thanks for sharing you special perspective on the Austin debate for those of us who so wanted to be there too.
I think you need to get a tee-vee show during election seasons. You make much more sense than most of the candidates. I can imagine you wearing your pink boots while using all kinds of visual props explaining to the rest of us all about the candidates. It would be Emmy worthy.
Thanks again for what you bring to America's political table - intelligence, awareness, humor and class.  
Your Dam Yankee Friend in Spring,


A Ft Bend Co independent voter here who will definitely be voting for whatever Democratic candidate survives.  If the Dems were smart, they would get Hillary and Barack to run on the same ticket.  If they did, they would be unstoppable.  Their positions are not that far apart and after the convention sets their platform, one would think they can co-exist.  Again, if they were both to run together, there is no way the dems could lose this election.  Just my $0.02 worth on the subject.




Its been awhile, but I just wanted to pass you a note and say how much I enjoy reading your posts (I ain't calling it a blog, nope) and especially your decision on who to support for President. I thought your next to last paragraph echoed my thoughts as well. Its admittedly a tough choice between two excellent candidates, but I put my money where my mouth was for a change (actually a first time at the Federal level) and supported Barack. I'll support Hillary if she pulls an upset and becomes the nominee, but I like what Barack brings to the table and I think he's probably the most likely to include Hillary and John (and maybe Bill Richardson, my first choice) in a new administration that can start cleaning up this mess that brat from Crawford created.

I'm hoping the nomination will be settled next week when Barack wins Texas, but if it ain't, you can rest assured I'll be workin in North Carolina to make sure as many of our delegates as possible head his way on May 6th.

Keep up the great work.



Thanks so much for your review of the debate and your reasoning for choosing like you have.  It was a swell read.

It's astonishing that SO many of our votes actually matter this year.  One of my friends (on a foodie board, no less) mentioned that he would be in the voting booth "tossing a coin."  I would have done the same, except that by the time the Potomac Primary rolled around, I started mentally reliving RFK's 85-day campaign in 1968 (yes, I'm old enough to remember that).  I never hoped to see the like again.  Except, except. . . that's pretty much what Obama's campaign looks like these days.  Massive crowds, completely diverse, rampant enthusiasm for someone who seems to love us all.  Yup, delusional.  That's me.

It came down to realizing that Obama was on a roll and I just wanted one of 'em to win outright.  The last thing we need is a contested convention.  I hope you have readers in Ohio as well as Texas.



Well Susan too, You've managed to make me laugh and cry in the same post. Your post on the debate was hilarious and heartwarming and hopeful. I'm 65 and thought that I wouldn't live to see a woman in the WH, but dang! if your mother can live to 90, I can surely live to 73.
When people have asked me why I'm supporting Obama I say for the kids. Our kids deserve their Kennedy moment too. Let's pray it's handled better this time.
Yes, We Can,

Dear Susan,

I really enjoyed reading your post.  It's good to know that there are people who are really thoughtful about their vote.  I haven't made up my mind as to how I will be voting.  The only thing I know for certain, the only thing I can be sure of, is that I will be voting FOR someone and not just against. 

Gratias Tibi Ago Deus

Wonko's Bud

P.S.  I hate to be the one but it is spelled San Marcos not Marcus.  Hey I'm a BISM (Born In San Marcos)

NOTE FROM SUSAN :  San Marcus, Neiman Marcus -- I keep getting them mixed up.

More from Don --

Dear Susan,

I was listening to the radio on the way to work this morning.  They were interviewing someone named Wayne (Slater?) from up Dallas way and he said something I found interesting.  Come November, he said, Texas probably won't matter.  It's almost sure to deliver its electoral votes to a Republican.  So why, he was asked,  are so many Texans so excited about Obama?  I don't remember Wayne's answer because as the question was asked, I experienced one of those moments of preternatural awareness where everything comes into focus and the picture is clear, crisp, and unmistakable.  When that happens, it's necessary to remember it, because the picture will quickly fade.  So I'm writing it down.

Texas Democrats are positioned to make a  -- maybe THE -- difference in deciding who the next President will be. Even though Duh-bya has turned off so many people, the Democrats do not have a lock on the election.  Because as Jim Hightower noted, if the Lord wants us to vote, He has to give us candidates worth voting for.  There is one candidate who energizes people and another who polarizes them.  The energizing candidate has a much better chance of getting people to turn out and vote come November.  The polarizing one makes Ralph Nader look like a valid choice.

No wonder y'alls are so excited!


February 24 - If you're from around here, you've probably already heard stories about Bill Clinton speaking from the back of a pickup truck down in Victoria.  They are true stories and my second favorite Democratic County Chairman, Stephen Jabbour (Evelyn Burleson is everybody's first favorite) brings us the story and pictures.

Hi Susan:

I've attached a few pictures for you.  There are more at our website and in the photo album on the left side of the webpage. 

On Clinton's Visit:
The weather was a major headache that day, and we were up in the air on the venue until about 3:30 when the event was firmly moved to the Welder Center, an auditorium not too far from the square where he was originally planning to speak.  The downside was that it only held about 750, and there were 6,000 waiting to see him.  

When President Clinton arrived about 5:30, he made the call to move it to the street when he saw the crowd and that the rain stopped. Texas weather!  If you don't like it, wait a minute.  I guess there was a method to the madness--better to discomfort 750 than disappoint 6,000 in the street. 

He gave his speech from the back of a pickup truck (only in Texas!)  He stayed until about 7:45 shaking hands on the rope line.  The event received excellent coverage in our local newspaper, the Victoria Advocate, for three days straight, and they are still running follow-up articles.  It also received good TV play that evening on the local 10:00 news.



President Bill Clinton and Victoria County Democratic Chairman Stephen Jabbour.





Thank you, Stephen! 

February 24 - Okay, okay, I know, I know --- the new design on fortbendnow is about as organized as a bushel basket of wire coathangers. 
     It ain't Bob's fault; he just writes there now.  He ain't said so, but I suspect the new owners know as much about the internet as I do about speaking Korean, which is nothing.
     I know, I know nobody goes there anymore -- except Muckraker, who would go to the Mustang Lounge and set himself afire if he thought for a minute that it would get him some attention.  (There's a local joke that the only people who go to the Mustang Lounge are either drunk or lost.)
     However, Bob still writes for the site and you know he's worth reading, even if you have to dig through the pile.  So, check this out
     And while you're there, make a comment that you liked the old format much, much better.

February 23 - You know how you know that FOX News is a nest o' nuts?  Uh, they let Geraldo Rivera on teevee

On the Fox News Channel's Fox and Friends, Geraldo Rivera was keeping the flames of the Barack Obama "plagiarism" story alive. The Fox News commentator argued that the Illinois Democratic senator had developed a "formula" for taking political power, and he knew where that formula came from.

     No, seriously, he talks about a "black genius camp" where plots to get a little power are born, and nobody on the set looks puzzled and asks, "Geraldo, Bub, have you ever heard of the Council on Foreign Relations?". 
     Yikes!  Two smart black guys get together and it's a damn plot!  Alert the white guys!  Quick! 

February 23 - Kellybee has been playing on Google Images again.  And we win ....


Hey, it could happen...



P.S. For those in the viewing audience who may be funk-challenged, go here



February 22 - Yikes!  We get some real scary email ---


Did J. R. Perez take the calculator with him when he left?

Please look at the voting totals for UH Cinco.  Between the e-slates and these idiots, I've got about no confidence that my vote will be counted correctly.


NOTE FROM SUSAN:  The supposed totals are at the bottom.  Check the Democratic totals. 

     I just called the elections office and it's been fixed.  I'm gonna tell you one thing for dead solid certain - if we didn't have Robin to run the elections, I would not be sleeping at night.  I don't trust the machines.  I don't trust the county commissioners.  I don't trust the election commission (especially when they insist on meeting behind closed doors).  But, I'd trust Robin with my life. 

February 22 - Dude, I was at the debate in Austin in last night.
     You know when they showed the audience?  Dude, that was me. 
     I hope you saw me waving at you.  Okay, okay, so I was waving at Momma, but I figured you'd think it was you.
     Then there was this big ole party afterwards and I didn't get home until after my car turned into a pumpkin, so I am pooped. 
     However, this weekend, after I recover from another party tonight, I'll tell you all about actually being there for the debate with my usual intellectual,
cerebral, and poised manner, no doubt using the phrase "when the chips are down, the bull is empty" several times.
     But, I have to tell you about this right now because you'll want to know.
     Minutes before the debate started, in a packed gym on the UT campus, Texas Democratic Party Chairman, the lovely and close to charming Boyd Richie, stood up and made one heckuva short speech.  In that speech, he mentioned that Democrats are outvoting Republicans in every darned region of the State of Texas.
     He specifically mention two areas of the state - Dallas (where Republicans have apparently been raptured or something), and then ... are you ready? .... Boyd announced on the electric microphone, "Tom DeLay's home county is out-voting Republicans 2 to 1!"  The place went wild! 
     Take that, Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club, and shove it up your stinkin' economy, your failed policies, your tax cuts for the rich, and every single blasted lobbyist you answer to. 
     Phew!  I need some rest after that. 
     Check back for updates and insider information when I catch my breath and get my feet on the ground.

NOTE FROM SUSAN:  This one arrived before the debate but I wasn't here.

Hey Susan,

You ready for the big night?  I'll be lookin for you on the teevee  wishin you was moderatin'.  Did you get the guerilla reporting ware?   Just don't wander into any men's rooms by accident; don't want you disturbing no republican caucuses.

Your friend from the foreign state of MS'ippi.

P.S.  We're gettin in the first of our Obama staffers.  They are just  the nicest people.

Susan,  I kept my eyes peeled on the  screen last night while watching/listening to the Clinton/Obama debate. Was hoping that  you'd do something spectacular to call attention to yourself as a potential VP nominee or some important member of the new Presidents cabinet. I'd like to see you head up the Homeland Security department.   That's a good job for anyone, because no matter how one might screw up, they'd be better than any of the previous ones.  Looking forward to reading your take on the debate.
 Al, Squire of Weybridge


Could it be that the residents of Fort Bend County have decided that they have had enough of the petty fights between local Republican factions, the hypocrisy of those they elected to "clean house" and enact term limits  who now seek to keep their seats for life so they can continue to accept large donations and favors from vendors and lobbyists, and the fact that most of the local Republican leadership and officials supported Tom DeLay even when the body of evidence was way too large to have been fabricated by Ronnie Earle?  Could it be that even some of the most die-hard Republicans are ready to throw all the bums out?


I’m telling you, the locals just do not have touch with reality.

They truly are “shocked and awed” by the fact that the democrats are voting heavily.

I’ve always said that the only reason everyone thought there were no democrats is because, until the very recent past, there has been no choice.

If they wanted a voice in local politics, they had to vote Republican.

Well, there is NOW. 

I think they will just die in November!

Signed me ....
Knew It All Along


I am so jealous!!!!  However, if I couldn't be there I would pick you next because you'll let us know the real scoop, like is Campbell Brown as tall as she looks and how many times did ya'll sing The Eyes of Texas before the debate started.  What happens during commercial breaks?  Any fist fights or honkey tonk music?


Congratulations Susan,
It seems your "Has Enough? Vote Democratic... for a change" signs have been wildly successful after all. 
Glad you got in to see the debate. Looking forward to reading more about it from your special perspective! 
Only 333 days left til the Bush/Cheney Criminal Enterprise Club are history.  
Your Dam Yankee Friend in Spring,


We have to wait until this weekend for your report?!?!  What's with that?  I thought that's why you got paid the big bucks. 

Party on -


February 21 - For you political junkies, something truly amazing is happening in Fort Bend County.  Democrats are still outvoting Republicans 2 to 1 in the county.  And this is while Republicans are having a HOT congressional and sheriff's race.
     Yesterday's totals were 1,515 Democrats voting and 689 Republicans.  Totals for two days?  Democrats are still outvoting Republicans 2 to 1. 
     What's really jaw dropping is that in traditional Republicans areas - like First Colony and Cinco Ranch - Democrats are coming out of the woodwork.

February 21 - Look, I really don't care if Vickie Iseman is screwing John McCain.  What I do care about is that she was screwing us.
     (Momma, I know I wasn't raise that way, but there's no other word that fits here.  I thought and thought and --- nope, no other word.)

Three telecom lobbyists and a former McCain aide, all of whom spoke on the condition of anonymity, said that Iseman spoke up regularly at meetings of telecom lobbyists in Washington, extolling her connections to McCain and his office. She would regularly volunteer at those meetings to be the point person for the telecom industry in dealing with McCain's office.

     However, I do think that the funniest part of this story is that the radical rightwing has to side with either John McCain or The New York Times.  Whoa, that'll give 'em a headache.

February 20 - People in foreign states are asking me why Texas has such a complicated delegate selection system
     Well, it's like this ---
     It was all decided several decades ago based on the average temperature in Abilene in July, Chinese algebra, how many nakkid people there were at Barton Springs last Gubernatorial election, and the fact that we ain't got nothing better to do than make things complicated. 
     Honey, we're Texas Democrats.  We've been real bored lately.  So, we sat around making up rules.  What did you expect us to do?  Knit?
     Last time I checked, the delegate selection process was 7 pages long and you had to be smarter than Rice University with a dictionary to understand it. 
     So, we're gonna have big ole fights on caucus night.  That's what we do for fun because nobody has ever given a big bear's butt about who we think ought to be President before now. 
     We're gonna entertain you on election night.  We're Texas.  We're real good at that, and it's kinda expected of us.

Saw one on a pickem-up-truck here in Austin
"TEXAS POLITICS - Not For The Squeamish"



OK, girl, I've had enough stinkin corporate coverage of the primaries (looky here), so pretty please I'm askin' you for some guerrilla reporting. I'm sending you this "instructable" on how to make some spy sunglasses. I think if you run down to radio shack they can fix you up with some kinda bluetoothey thing to live broadcast it. Or go over to folo and scrounge around the google ads; I saw some for surveillance equipment in one of 'em. (It's interesting stuff over there today, you'll want to go anyway. Dickie and his gang are actually having some kinda court appearance today.  

We're getting our very own Obama headquarters here in MISSISSIPPI this week ourownselves!!! We been in that fly-through campaign ATM bidness over here too long ourselves and it is so weird and wonderful for Democrats to suddenly give a hoot about our delegates that we are not going to know how to act. You might have to post a tutorial or sumthin'.

Emily from a Foreign State

Hi Susan,

I got Bubba's mailout today.  Pretty targeted mailing, I must say--I'm a Democrat, I live in Texas, and I'm even in the 27th District.  Shhhh! Don't let the Republicans know this is possible!  I even got that Valentine's postcard from Mr. Wong or whoever, and I don't live in Sugarland.  They sure do like to slosh the money around, don't they?  I guess they figure if they throw enough green manure against the wall some of it will stick.  Anyway, you can assure Mr. B. that I will vote the Straight Bubba Ticket.


(NOTE FROM SUSAN:  Bubba did a mailout supporting Ron Reynolds for State Rep.  Our incumbent State Rep is taking a truck load of money from Craddick's people and is anti-stem cell research.)

February 20 - Whoa, Buddy!  Lookie at this sucker.
     This is Fort Bend County.  This is home to Tom DeLay and the most vicious Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club on the face of the planet.  Darlin', this is a place where we don't have one single Democratic countywide office holder. 
     And on the first day of early voting, we voted twice as many Democrats as we did Republicans. 
     Holy Smokes and Great Gumption!  I do believe that some folks have had enough.

     And it's happening all over Texas!

February 20 - Here's a few pictures from Obama's Houston event last night and I'll be getting some from Bill Clinton's appearance in Victoria this afternoon.

     Thanks to Mark for the photos.

February 19 - T.S. has an idea ---

Maybe Conde-Nast should consider a special addition evening formal wear issue to come out (so to speak) before the Republican convention.


February 19 - You folks from foreign states probably don't understand why we're all giddy down here in Texas right now. 
     This is the first time that anyone's cared who we want for President. 
     No kidding, up until now Texas has been an ATM machine for Presidential candidates - they take money out but unless you've got $1,200 for a ticket, you don't get to see them. 
     Boy Howdy, has that changed!
     Barack is having a big rally in Houston tonight at the Toyota Center and Bill Clinton will be in Victoria tomorrow (where a close, personal friend of mine just happens to be the County Chair). 
     I'll have pictures of both events so you can get all giddy with us Texans, too.

February 19 - Honey, they don't call her Silly Shelley for nothin'.
     Shelley Sekula Gibbs is face down in a big ole pile of hypocrisy. 
     Semi-sadly, it's an improvement.
     When she lashed out at fellow CD22 Congressional candidate Pete Olson for taking lobbyist money, it was revealed that she, too, was taking lobbying money and took a heap of it while she was on Houston City Council.
     It took her campaign manager, 
C.B. Currier, overnight to come up with this explanation ---

When Shelley has accepted money from lobbyists she understood it meant they expected the ability to speak to her about issues important to them. She did not accept money from lobbyists who expected her to vote a certain way simply because of a contribution. Olson, on the other hand, claims lobbyists don't expect anything from the candidates they support, even access.

     No, really.  He said that.  Well, actually, I think he had to write it and email it because nobody - I mean nobody - could actually say that with a straight face.
     Hey, C. B., if admitting that your candidate is a access slut is what you get paid the big bucks for, Lord knows you've earned it today.

February 19 - Well, Stanley, that's another fine mess you've gotten us into.
     We have an election starting today that promises to break every record ever set for turnout.
     We have voting machines that are difficult to use and in short supply.
     And now the Election Chief resigns this morning.
     Sweet mother of liberty in a muu-muu! I've seen kindergarteners with finger paints make less of a mess, and I've seen pastures with less caca del toro. 
     I'm voting today.  No telling what'll happen by tomorrow. 

February 19 - We get such cool email from Kelleybee.


 There's some talk here that your boy, the Preachin' Governor From Arkansas, is angling for a spot as the GOP Veep candidate...well, that's not exactly the "McCain & Huck" ticket I had in mind:


February 18 - All you Tom DeLay fans out there were delivered a special treat today.
     It's not so much that he trashed-talked John McCain - DeLay always trashed McCain, but it's where he did it.

“If McCain gets the nomination, I don’t know what I’ll do,” DeLay said at the Capitol Hill Club, according to a source in the room. “I might have to sit this one out.”

He added that a McCain triumph for the GOP nomination would destroy the Republican Party. DeLay delivered his luncheon address to Republicans Assuring Mutual Support (RAMS), a group of current and former chiefs of staff and staff directors.

     Republicans Assuring Mutual Support?  RAMS?  Oh mercy, help us: they're finally admitting that the Good-Ole-Boys are out in the open!  Why didn't they just call it GOBs? 
     And don't you know that 90% of the Republican Party gets on their knees every night and asks God, "Pleeeease let Tom DeLay sit this one out.  Pluuuuesse."
     I love yew, Tom DeeeLay. You are determined to deliver a victory for the Democrats so you can boast that the GOP fell apart without you. 
     Honey, you'll be sitting out the next election, too --- in a federal prison.

February 18 - Two of the Ten Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed are having a spat.
     I told you that the Republican CD22 race was going to get ugly, but I didn't know it was going to get witchy so quickly.
     Pete Olson is taking money from the same people who gave to Tom DeLay, including some with interests other than just good government. 

Olson collected roughly $11,000 from 15 or so lobbyists through 2007, a sliver of the $314,000 he has received from all individual donors. The lobbyists' average donation fell well below the limit of $2,300 per person.

     Well, that just drove candidate Dean Hrbacek (pronounced: her-bad-chick) nuts.  At a GOP candidate night last week .....

As Hrbacek noted, the law firm [that hosted an Olson fundraiser] had ties to Jack Abramoff, the former lobbyist who had had several dealings with DeLay before being convicted and sent to prison as part of a corruption probe that also snared an Ohio congressman. The firm's managing partner, L. Steven Hart, has been listed in dozens of news media reports as among a group of government officials and lobbyists who traveled together to Scotland to play golf.

     Okay, you just gotta love it when Republicans are accusing other Republicans of being in bed with Jack Abramoff and having ties to Tom DeLay.  Duh, Boys, if you didn't want to be in bed with DeLay and Abramoff, you wouldn't be a Republican.
     Hrbacek got smacked by the green-eyed monster because Olson is getting money that Hrbacek feels like he's pandered for.  I'll look around to see if I can find any, but I'm almost certain that there's pictures of Hrbacek kissing Tom DeLay's patootie at some point.  I'm just sure of it.  I mean, I've seen it in person and surely someone had a camera.
     So, Olson, who has even hired DeLay's sleazy former campaign manager, comes back with a witch-slap across the face.  (Oh, get ready for this because it's a tad over the snippy limit for a Monday morning ....)

"Dean Hrbacek has lost his head, and now he has lost his mind," Olson said, a reference to Hrbacek's campaign leaflet that used an image of Hrbacek's face combined with a thinner man's body.

     Thank you, Pete Olson, for doing my job for me.  I'm a little slow on Monday morning and I appreciate you taking up the slack for me.
     That's what you get for jumping on the bed.

     One more thing - and I really hate to keep picking on the guy, but he's so danged entertaining - Dean Hrbacek's campaign website now lists his talking and blogging points because his supporters are apparently dumber than bean dip and can't think of one single reason to support him on their own. 
     He used to send them out my email, but I guess that was too complicated for his supporters.

Dean keeps trying to label Olson as a crooked DC insider because 4% of his money comes from registered lobbyists in DC.  Well, Dean is the one who just hired Abramoff's political hitman, Stephen Marks, who worked with Abramoff and Scanlon.  Talk about hypocrisy.



Proof of Hrbacek's loyalty and admiration for Tom DeLay came when he led the fight to censure then precinct chair Bev Carter for refusing to support DeLay's re-election right before his indictment but after word of all the dirty dealings came out.  Hrbacek and the majority of those now in control of the local GOP went berserk (is that an oxymoron?) because Carter contended that scoundrels and crooks don't deserve our support--even when they are Republican scoundrels and crooks.  Obviously Hrbacek disagrees.  He's just mad that he didn't get the money himself.


Susan aka Juanita Jean

Some eveedense ya were seekin'. Click number to see page.


Thomas Dale DeLay



February 16 - M. B. is beginning to wonder if all Republicans are weird this way or if there's just been a surge of them discovered lately.

Robert A. McKee, a long-serving Republican delegate from Western Maryland, announced his resignation yesterday after authorities, who say they are conducting a child pornography investigation, seized two computers, videotapes and printed materials from his Hagerstown home.

First elected to the House of Delegates in 1994, McKee was chairman of the Western Maryland delegation and sponsored legislation to protect minors from sexual predators. McKee, 58, also resigned yesterday from his post as executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Washington County, a child mentorship program where he has worked for 29 years.

     The more you Republicans talk about family values, the more your men get caught acting weirdo. 

Should I even bother mentioning that he is a 2004 Bush appointee?

February 15 - Oh sweet manna from heaven, Republican Harris County DA Chuck Rosenthal is finally resigning today  ... no, no, wait, the best part is coming ... with the Rush Limbaugh excuse. 
     See?  I promised this would be good.  If I say it's Christmas you better buy some little twinkling lights, 'cuz I know stuff. 

"Although I have enjoyed excellent medical and pharmacological treatment, I have come to learn that the particular combination of drugs prescribed for me in the past has caused some impairment in my judgment," Rosenthal wrote in his resignation letter.

Rosenthal declined to comment.

     I'll be darned and warned.  Who would've guessed it?  Pain pills combined with arrogance cause a bad reaction?  I'm shocked, shocked I tell you. Somebody alert the American Medical Association!

     Look, I dunno about you but if I were the chief law enforcement officer in the county, I would not use the words "enjoy" and "pharmacological treatment" within fifty or sixty words of each other.
     This is a made-for-teevee movie if I ever saw one. 

February 15 - TGIF from Mike Luckovich.

February 15 - Nuttier than squirrel poop.  Shelley Sekula Gibbs, who is known as Queen Stumble around here, has officially become delusional.

Sekula Gibbs was forced to run as a write-in against Lampson for a full, two-year term after DeLay withdrew as the GOP nominee. This week she said "liberal activist judges" had kept her off the ballot.

The ballot decision was rendered by a federal judge appointed by President George H.W. Bush, upheld by a three-judge panel of the generally conservative U.S. Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals and turned away by U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, one of the most conservative high court members.

     Well hell, at least she didn't blame the Spartans or the damned liberal hippie dope-smoking welfare mother abortionists.  I suspect she's saving that one in reserve.
     But my favorite is this ---

She supported abortion rights in the early stages of her Houston City Council service, switched sides later and now claims a 100 percent "pro-life" voting record because of her vote for a single piece of congressional legislation that failed to pass. She supported city funding for day labor sites because they were favored by neighborhood groups.

She later opposed the funding because, she explains, neighborhoods were made no safer and she discovered that the sites were used almost exclusively by illegal immigrants.

     And then she puts the cherry on top the hypocrisy cake with this ---

"Elect me to Congress, and I won't make empty promises."

     Oh, but first she has to be elected.  I get it.

February 14 - Remember all you Republicans who got redfaced indignant over Texas Democrats going to Oklahoma to keep from being railroaded?  Remember how you said that you paid their salary and they should be forced to stay and work?  Remember how your darling Tom DeLay tried to use Homeland Security to hunt them down? 
     Well, it's time for you to get all outraged again. However, it's kinda sweet that this happened on Valentine's Day because outrage passes for foreplay in most Republican homes.

Things just keep getting uglier on the House floor.

Moments after President Bush threatened to delay his weekend trip to Africa and force Congress to act before key intelligence programs expire, House Republicans staged a walkout to protest Democratic inaction on the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act bill. Frustrated Republicans streamed out of the Capitol and onto the east steps of the Capitol, a powerful act aimed at stopping House floor proceedings and forcing a vote on the FISA bill.


    This time your team walked out.  Shameful, ain't it?
     Well, let's hear it. Where's the Republican walkout outrage now?  Huh?  I'm listening, but I ain't hearin'.


I know you may not be able to read this because it is not written in crayon.
There is a difference in walking out on to the steps of your office and driving to another state. There is difference
in walking out to force an action to take place and running to another state to stop all actions from taking place.
Oh gosh. That's was two sentences. Sorry for expecting you to be able to follow all that.
You're a funny lady. Keep amusing yourself with your blog. I promise not to send any more long letters.  
Yours truly,
1st grader Larry

Dear Larry,

Oh yes, I keep forgetting that everything is relative to Republicans.  It's okay to walk out 500 yards, but not 500 miles.  It's okay to force things on people, but not okay to stop things. 

It's okay to to lie start an illegal war, but getting frisky with a willing woman is impeachable.

I want to thank you and your crayons for reminding me once again why I cannot be a Republican or a little bit pregnant. 

And Larry, I hate to think how you're amusing yourself at my not-a-blog.  Honestly, I don't even want to know. 


Wow,  it sounds like 1st Grader Larry did not get his nap today.  He needs to put on his big-girl panties, assuming he is republican,  and realize picking up your marbles and going home is pouting.  Surely they have classes in Kindergarten to avoid that behavior.  The distance traveled is irrelevant.  The reason for, and the effect of, leaving is highly relevant.


February 14 - You know what gets me about this whole Medina / Rosenthal political cover-up?  It's not that they're lying and covering for each other.  It's not even that the District Attorney of Harris County is a total cad, jerk, and nincompoop.  It's not even the hate-filled emails exchanged around the office like cigars at baby time.
     What gets me most is that they're trying to make "runaway grand jury" a bad thing.

Six members of a Harris County grand jury who indicted Texas Supreme Court Justice David Medina and his wife on charges stemming from the fire that destroyed their Spring home have filed a lawsuit to talk about the evidence they saw before handing up the indictments.

Jeffrey Dorrell, an attorney who was the assistant foreman of the grand jury, filed the lawsuit on behalf of the members who want to tell a new grand jury about the evidence they heard behind closed doors.

They also want to defend themselves against accusations that they were part of a "runaway grand jury," Dorrell said.

     In Texas, grand juries are the single most powerful political body.  They can subpoena the Governor and if they do, the Governor has to come.
      Runaway grand juries should be the rule, not the exception.  However, grand juries have been turned into political tools for the prosecution all over Texas without the checks and balances they were meant to provide. 
     Prosecutors can lie to grand juries and there's nothing to keep them from doing it.  I've served on a grand jury was was stunned at the lack of gumption the average grand juror has.  Most of them would have indicted Mother Teresa if the prosecutor told them she was guilty of practicing philanthropy and Texas has laws against that kind of nonsense.
     If a grand jury is not no-billing at least 10% of the cases the district attorney brings to them, then they are not asking enough questions or coming close to doing their job.
     One day, when I have time, I'm gonna pitch a snot-nosed walleyed hissy fit about Texas grand juries being a bunch of wimps.  Ya'll just watch out for that because I'm real proud of the Harris County grand jury for having a pitchfork and a wagon to spread some gumption around.  Lord knows we need it.

February 14 - Just in time for Valentine's Day!
     Bubba says he's real glad the courts overturned the Texas ban on sex toys.  If they hadn't, he would have been required by law to move to Louisiana. 

With the way our Texas government treats us isn't the use of sex toys kind of redundant?


February 14 - Texas, I love yew.

     Please consider a small donation to the American Heart Association on Valentine's Day. 

February 13 - Okay, so people have been calling and emailing, asking me if they can get tickets to the Hillary / Barack debate.  I guess they figure I would know that information because I used to own a beauty shop.  I dunno.
     Odds are highly against you getting tickets to that sucker, even if you know me. 
     And if I get some, you ain't getting them because I really don't like you all that much.  Let's face it, we're barely on speaking terms, and I'm kinda leery of what the Secret Service may know about you so I'm claiming that I never met you. 
     However, I do have a suggestion for you to enjoy the debate in a dandy way - The Texas Democratic Party is doing it up right at the Hyatt Regency in Austin.  Most likely, I'll be there.  If I were you, I'd make my reservations today because I figure even that sucker will sell out faster than double geared lightening because it's been a long time since we Democrats in Texas have seen the light at the end of the tunnel. 
     Go ahead and get reservations for the night at the Hyatt, too, and then come back on Friday in time for Fort Bend Democrats "Taking Back Texas" party. 
     After spending all that time with me, I might like you enough to admit knowing you.  Maybe.  It could happen. 

February 13 - A customer by the name of Ralph sent me this link to the Five Ballsiest People on Earth.  (Momma, do not follow this link.  There are impolite words there.  In fact, many of them are just downright rude.  I am almost certain that it's sites like this one that cause your computer to tremble.)
     While Ralph and I agree that their choices are good, we cannot for the life of us understand why all Texas County Commissioners are not on this list.  I mean, to take tax free money and gifts from non bid vendors and developers and then give them the taxpayer's money even if they do a crummy job (ahem!) takes some jumbo cajones. 
     Benny Hinn ain't got nothing on Andy Meyers and Tom Stavinoha. 


I like and read your blogg often.  I really missed you last week while you were gone.  Please don't do that for a while.  But enough of the butt kissing.  The reason for this note is that in Spanish "cajones" means boxes and cojones means balls.
Wonko's Bud

Dear Wonko,

Actually, I was speaking Tex-Czech-Mex, where cajones means "woman with no shame whatsoever."

Thank you for your patience.


Dear Susan,

I found your (not a) blog from Folo, and I enjoy it a lot. A different world from the hills of upstate NY where I live, altho' my Congressman, Randy Kuhl, may be as big an a**hole as some of yours, but yours seem more entertaining.

Minor point in your "Five Ballsiest People" note. I think you mean "cojones", as "cajones" means boxes.

Keep raising hell!


Dear Lory,

I am becoming the slightest bit concerned that my customers know more about balls than I'd prefer in my demographics. 

Plus, do you have any idea how humiliating it is to have someone from upstate New York correct your Spanish?  That takes at least 10 points off my Total Texas Woman score.


February 12 - If Republican County Commissioner Tom Stavinoha doesn't get his rump whipped at the polls for this alone, then we'll know he "fixed" the machines in that real special kind of way.

Facing sharp questioning from Fort Bend County Commissioners Court members, elections administrator J.R. Perez said Tuesday he recommends that the county scrap most of the eSlate voting machines it first put into service in November 2005.

Instead, Perez recommends “backing up” by allowing voters to use paper ballots, in conjunction with a scanning device that would “read” the ballots, check to make sure they are properly filled out and then tabulate them automatically.

As for the county’s eSlate machines, which officials said cost the county between $2 million and $2.5 million (augmented with $2 million in federal funding), Perez said he recommends selling them. They conceivably could bring “50 cents on the dollar.”

     Commissioner Tom Stavinoha was the deciding vote to buy these worthless machines in the first place.  After promising people that he would vote to study them some more before he spent millions of tax dollars on something that people didn't want or like, he marched into the room and voted "YES!" loudest of all.
     Then - and this is like something out of a Fellini movie -  he decided to go to Hawaii to help other counties decide to buy these festering piles of caca del toro.  Hawaii.  After I made a fuss, he bought his own airplane ticket but tax dollars paid his hotel, food, and ground transportation. 
     Do you want to know why he told me he liked these voting machines?  You're gonna think I'm making this up and I'm not.  He said he was a retired high shop teacher and he liked all the little knobs on the machine because they work just like power tools.  I am not joking.  He said that.  I hollered at him for a long time.  I mean, it took me a full 20 minutes of hollering to get enough air out to come down off the ceiling.  It's flat amazing that I didn't whack him with my notebook. 
     Look, if he wanted a power tool, he should have bought Viagra.
     So, we're out 5 million dollars for voting machines that are not going to bring 50 cents on the dollar because nobody else wants things that don't work. 
     Let me note that the only Democrat on Commissioners Court, Grady Prestage, voted against the danged things.  Grady may be worthless as a 4 card flush in most situations, but he could have saved us all $4.5 million dollars and 20 pounds of grief if the other commissioners had listened to him.
     I ain't through with this yet.  I'm just tired of typing right now.  They will be more and that's a promise.

February 12 - The votes are in and counted.  It's official.  Sugar Land, Texas, is the Goofy Political Mail-out Capital of the Whole Entire World.  Eat your heart out, Perth, Australia.
     First we had CD 22 candidate Dean Hrbacek and the ceremonial beheading, then we had another Sugar Land CD 22 candidate, Pete Olsen, and the lie-about-your-age-and-swear-to-it United States mail opportunity, and then along come Sugar Land Councilman and Mayor Wannabe Daniel Wong, who wants to be your Valentine on the May 10th election day.
     They say that a picture is worth a thousand words.  This one is worth at least a quarter million ----

     Click the little one to get the big one.
     But in case you believe that less is not more, there's the back.  Again click the little one to .... dammit, figure it out.

     Please take time to note who this was sent to.  Sugar Land ain't got no average voters.  No, siree.  The person who sent it to me thinks it must have been misaddressed, because he's just a good voter.  He thinks the Ted Thompson down the street may be The Excellent Voter. 
     I am really glad that Daniel is looking forward to talking to me about my dreams because I keep having this reoccurring dream about a Republican President and bad economy and barbed wire and a feather boa and two scoops of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey.  I dunno what it all means, but my family is tired tired tired of hearing about it. 
     If Daniel is "the SMART Choice" I do not want to know who is the NOT-SO-BRIGHT one.
     Also, the location of the campaign headquarters of Daniel Wong for Sugar Land mayor?  Houston.


As one who has scratched my head for years wondering how Fort Bend County politicians continue to run campaigns that make you think that an orangutan served as their manager, may I point out a frequent common denominator?  Look who proudly serves as Wong's treasurer--none other than Debra Ross, assistant associate deputy to High Poobah Terese Raia of the Belles of Heaven Republican Know It All but you don't club.  Dean Hrbacek, inventor of the infamous Photoshop diet is also supported by this group as is our favorite jihadist style congress critter Charlie Howard.  Coincidence or not????


You people are hogging all the stupid.  You're the expert ---- aren't there laws against that?  It's has to be hard carrying the entire stupid load.

Hey Zeus

February 12 - A customer sent me this.  I have no idea where it came from, but since Dean is still using the body double on his mail-outs, I need to let you know he's become world famous.
     I have another great scan for you this afternoon.  Republican Sugar Land politicians are the most entertaining people on earth, and I have proof.





February 12 - Okay, I'm home and I have a new daughter-in-law.  Pictures to come.
     If you missed this story at Hal's Shop, head on over and give it a read.  It's some educated speculation why Tom DeLay might want to get born again again and have us all take him down to the Brazos River and dunk him until all the skin and sin is washed off.
     Meanwhile, to keep you entertained while I try to sort through my email this morning, I'll let Ben Sargent tickle you.

February 7 - I'm going to be away from the computer machine for a few days.  Unless something real important happens, I won't be posting or answering emails until next week. 
      Hang on and try to behave.
      Meanwhile, Hal promises to have some fun stuff while I'm gone and he'll be tending the store for me.

February 6 - We get email from Doyle and Brian ---

So how long, you think, until we find out that the Democrats were threatening to disrupt Mitt’s daughter’s wedding?

Dr. Doyle in Eugene

Isn't it kind of George Will to let us know of his concerns for the Democratic Party in the upcoming election? I mean, if Hillary runs against McCain the Democrats would just be throwing the election away  because NOBODY would vote for her.

It sure is nice of George to look out for our party. I know the Republicans wouldn't try any dirty stuff with Obama- I mean, that thing about John McCain's daughter in 2000 would never happen again, right?


February 6 - Okay, so this is the scariest danged thing I've ever seen in my life.

Pat Buchanan: McCain “will make Cheney look like Gandhi”

     And Pat Buchanan would know, ya know.  Pat Buchanan makes John McCain look like Fidel Castro.

February 6 - Reason #1 why your electricity bill is so danged high:  Republican State Representative Phil King needed to go to the Super Bowl real bad.

AUSTIN -- State Rep. Phil King acknowledged Wednesday that he accepted two free tickets to the 2004 Super Bowl in Houston from a utility industry lobbyist.

The Weatherford Republican, chairman of the House Committee on Regulated Industries, watched the game from a luxury suite of CenterPoint Energy, a Houston energy company. King told the Star-Telegram in 2005 that CenterPoint did not pay for his ticket and that he did not discuss legislative business during the game.

But, he didn't stop there ----

King also drew criticism in 2005 for a celebratory dinner for the members of his regulated industries committee at the home of a powerful lobbyist whose clients include AT&T and FPL Energy -- each with business before King's house committee. Catering was courtesy of telecommunications companies SBC and Grande Communications, also with business before the committee.

King raised eyebrows last year when he enlisted the support of a powerful industry group to lobby his state colleagues on behalf of two bills that were then being criticized by consumer groups.

     Got ethics?  

February 5 - Well, it gets even better ----
     Our friend Sam in Pearland got some interesting mail today.

We got this little gem in the mail today from the same Republican nuts who sent the "over 65" mailers.  If they can't even get an address right, what does this say about their ability to run anything? Hey Repugs, just change the name of your party to "Weinies R Us", we'll understand.


That's nothing.  I got a Robocall on Super Tuesday and heard Honest John McCain himself tell me to vote for him "today."  Well, first I'm not a Republican, but I have a 281 area code, which means Houston--and last time I checked Houston was in Texas--which means I CAN'T vote on Super Tuesday, but must wait until March.  What are these fools playing at?

Reminds me of the story when FDR was running for Governor of New York.  He's driving all over the state giving speeches and he makes a stop in a nice little town, gathers a crowd around him and gives a real stem-winder.  Folks was all fired up, but he lost them when he said, "If I'm elected Governor of this great state of New York. . ."  One fellow said, "Hey Mister, this is Connecticutt!" 


February 5 - I got some questions for you.

1.  When was the last time the Texas Attorney General announced the indictment of anyone for a Class B misdemeanor
2.  Do you think maybe Pete Olsen could be next?

The defendants allegedly delivered mail-in ballot applications to numerous residents in Duval County, many of whom were ineligible to vote by mail. Only those who are disabled, age 65 and above, or expect to be out of the county during an election are eligible to vote by mail. The completed ballot applications mailed to the voter registrar by the defendants typically included a box check-marked to indicate many of the voters were “disabled” when they were not.

     Uh, Attorney General Abbott, Dude, look out.  Republican CD22 candidate Pete Olsen did the same thing except he used the United States mail to do it.  (Click the little one to get the big one.)
     These suckers were mailed  to Triple D Democrats FAR under the age of 65, like even half that age.  You'll notice that the little over 65 box is checked.
     I guess it's one of them "Democrats Only" rules, huh?   

February 5 - Okay, I'm real worried.
     The national Presidential campaigns are coming to Texas.
     Y'all have to behave, ya hear?
     I mean, already 70% of the country thinks we're either worthless, insane, or not all that bright.  And who can blame them what with Tom DeLay and George Bush being prime examples of Texas manhood?
     You guys try real hard not to say anything stoopid or get caught running through the State Capitol wearing nothing but a coonskin cap and singing The Cotton Eyed Joe at the top of your lungs.  Been there.  Done that.  Do not do it again.
     And don't send no Yankee reporters out on a cow tripping mission.  They talk amongst themselves and are not a forgiving bunch.
     Act like you don't know who Rick Perry is.  That's important for curing the "not all that bright" thing.
     Do not make fun of people wearing their jeans tucked inside their boots.  They're trying to fit in but don't know any better. 
     If you hear anybody holler, "Hey, Bubba, watch this!" try to distract any foreign visitors until the ambulance leaves.
     But, most importantly, if they ask you who your Presidential preference is, the correct answer is "Willie Nelson."

February 5 - Good morning from Ben Sargent ---

February 4 - Well, rats!  GOP CD22 candidate with a national following, Dean Hrbacek, has given up on body snatching. 
     He's taking all the fun out of getting his mailers and guessing whose body he's using today.  This appears to be his real body. 
     This time, strategic cropping hides the real Dean.

     Click the little one to get the big one. 
     Yep, no more full body shots or squatting. 


Pay better attention.  It's the same photo as before.  Look at the suit and tie - same.  They just Photoshopped the head on better this time and cleaned it up a little. 

He's still doing it!  Talk about a guy who doesn't learn.



February 4 - I dunno, maybe it's just me, but when I spend a lot of money on something, I want it to make me look good.
     I guess it is just me. 
     I know that because Shelley Sekula Gibbs has spent almost half a million dollars for the opportunity to make herself look stoopid in front of large groups of people.

WASHINGTON – Shelley Sekula Gibbs, who finished two months of former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay's term when he resigned, owes $490,000 for her election campaigns, including $240,000 in debt for her latest effort to win the Houston-area congressional seat.

     Everybody knows she went to Washington Dee Cee for two whole months and acted like the biggest fool in town, which is something to behold in Dee Cee because the competition is stiff.
     Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, if I spend half a million on something, it's not going to make my butt look big.  Shelley, tragically, cannot say the same thing. 
     Shelley, Babe, use it to buy a personality.  Or some IQ points.

February 4 - If you've been hanging around here for a while, you know I'm a huge John Mellencamp fan. 
     Well, Earl just let me know that John McCain has appropriated "Pink House." 
     Pink Houses, no less. What the fool tarnation does a Republican know about pink houses?  Haven't they listened to words?
     Ain't that America? 
     Goodness Sake, we cannot let these people be in charge any more -- they don't even listen to the lyrics.


Check this out.

Mellencamp has asked McCain to stop it.


February 2 - This morning, I noticed that our local daily, the Fort Texas Bend Coaster Herald Cougar Mellencamp, had a half-page ad from the local GOP announcing that "the local GOP is under new management."  
     Oh yeah, like the old management wasn't winning enough elections.
     For you folks from foreign states, our local GOP had a big ole ruckus last year.  I mean, the last time there was that much infighting, Sherman marched through Georgia.  Except this one was bloodier and involved Beemers, golf clubs, Bibles, and two tons of sanctimony.
     I wish I could scan the ad to show you, but it's too darned big to fit in my scanner.  It's like, well, ....  half a page.  Of a newspaper.  That's bigger than my hair, Honey.
     The best I could do is take a picture of it with my favorite houseshoes beside it so you can see the size of this sucker.  Heck, even the picture of it weighs seven pounds.  Click the little one to get the big one.

    So, they used Republican Party money to put color pictures of themselves in the newspaper.  Hot doggit, guys!  Way to go!  I think you need to congratulate your local Republican Party Officers at least weekly with full color half page ads.  I'm wholly in favor of it.  Heck, I'll even kick in a buck or two if you'll pay for the rest of it with GOP campaign money.
     None of the Party officers are up for election for the next two years, so unless average voting folks are pondering on framing the ad and hanging it on their wall to remind themselves how to vote in March of 2010, it seems just a tad narcissistic of these officers.  But, hey, we've lived under George W Bush for 7 years so we understand that Mission Accomplished thing.  I guess we Democrats should talk them into renting an aircraft carrier for the next local Party Officers pictures.
     It would have been more productive to buy hay for a mechanical bull, Babe, than to run this ad.

     Next thing we know, a slew of Republicans all stood in the rotunda of the courthouse and had their picture made.  Every GOP elected official, precinct chair, and candidate in the county showed up for the photo op.  They put it on their website right here, winning recognition in the Guinness Book of World Records for the largest group of white people in one place since Sears and Roebucks opened a store in Utah in 1953.
     Well, the picture reminded our buddy Mark of something.  It nagged and nagged at him.  Where had he seen this picture before?  The picture was obviously staged to appeal to something in our subconscious. 
     Where had we seen this picture before?
     Could it be .......?

     Click the little one to get the big one. 
     (That body double stuff is heck, ain't it?)
     Here's the original if your memory needs jogging.

It was twenty years ago today,
Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play
They've been going in and out of style
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile.
So may I introduce to you
The act you've known for all these years,
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.


You have done it again!  I just spit coffee all over my computer laughing at the Fort Bend GOP.  Mark may be on to something--the body he picked for Hrbacek is bound to win more votes than the Dave Wallace look alike his campaign picked. 

Now, since the local GOP has so much money that it does not want to spend on real elections, do you think I could send them the bill for this coffee infested computer?  Or should I bill it to Meyers at Campaign Solutions LLC or perhaps to office space rental at Hrbacek's address?  I do want to follow the new Republican credo and not pay for anything myself that I can pawn onto some campaign slush fund.

Here's to Sergeant Miller's Lonely Votes Club Clowns!

The New and Improved Fluffy FBGOP.

OBVIOUSLY not the FB Dems...and OF COURSE the woman is the SECRETARY...

Our friend Mark has many creative talents.

Now about those slippers...where does one find such beauties?????


NOTE TO FRAN:  One can find those slippers at Clara Sue's House of Beauty & Pink Stuff in lovely downtown Pleak, Texas.  It's right next to the Kabota dealership.


Sure, they can run an ad before the election, but after the Republicans get through bitin' and scratchin' each other during the election people will be so mad at them they'll have to wear paper bags over their heads with smiley faces drawn on them.  It's like the joke that the Republican Party's idea of playing Russian Roulette is to load 5 of the 6 chambers in the revolver instead of just one--because they just can't stand to play fair.



It's a shame that your friends from foreign states won't get the humor of the four boys in the band on the front row.  They are the kickback kings of government.  The Tom DeLay as Mao is a great touch, too. 

Hey Zeus

February 1 - JW send us a little reminder that Texans know a song about everything.

As I read this article in the NYTimes this morning about the far right taking a new look at John McCain, a funny thing happened.  Mickey Gilley started singing in my head: “The girls all get prettier at closing time; they all begin to look like movie stars; Ain’t it funny, ain’t it strange, the way a man’s opinions change, when he starts to face that lonely night.

The girls all get prettier at closing time
They all begin to look like movie stars

The girls all get prettier at closing time
When the change starts taking place
It puts a glow on every face
Of the falling angels of the back street bars

(verse 1)
If I could rate' em on a scale from 1 to 10
I'm lookin' for a 9 but 8 would slip right in
A few more drinks and I might slip to a 5 or even a 4
But when tomorrow morning comes, and I wake up with a number 1
I swear I'll never do it anymore

(verse 2)
Now I don't mean to criticize the girls at all
Cause I know Robert Redford even overhauls
We all picture in our minds a girl that looks just right
Ain't it funny, ain't it strange, how a man's opinions change
When he starts to face that lonely night

     But Sam lets us know that you can't get drunk enough to take Ann Coulter home, and that's a scientific fact.

From the Huffington Post:
I love seeing Republicans hoisted on their own crucifix.

February 1 - I suspect I have to kiss a toad because I would have bet cash money that these word would never have come out of my mouth:

Montel Williams is danged hero.

     No, seriously.  I mean it.  Good on him.  You will clap your hands for him.

February 1 - It's official.  CD22 GOP candidate Dean Hrbacek and his phantom body has to withdraw.  He made Paul Harvey yesterday
     If you want to hear just the good part without listening to the other 4 minutes of Paul Harvey, I offer you at no additional charge this edited version.  If you download it to your MP3 player, there's some additional treats included.
     Seriously, he has to withdraw.  Once you make Paul Harvey, it's the law or something. 
     What makes it even worse is that Harvey calls him "The Mayor of Sugar Land." 
     Okay, let me make this easier for radio people -- his name is pronounced "her-bah-check" and he's not the Mayor anymore because the voters kicked him out of office.  But, he thinks he can be elected to Congress.  Yeah, well, I can't explain it either.

     And another reason Dean might as well drop out, is that he's not raising much money.  He had to loan himself $63,000 this reporting period just to keep his head above water.
     And, he hired Stephen Marks for $14,000.  You know Marks, he wrote Confessions of a Political Hitman. 
     Alan Bernstein's blog  at the Chronicle has more on Marks.
     Ho Boy, hiring Marks has just got the thrill the GOP base.


February 1 - There's a new blog in town that I think we're all going to like the heck out of - it's by Alan Bernstein at the Chronicle.
     Count on even coverage - which always makes the Republicans cry that there's a liberal bias.  Yeah, well, reality has a liberal bias, Dudes, so quit whining.


Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom DeLay's old district.  It's crazy here.  No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans.  They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber. 

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog.  Blogs are way too trendy for me.  I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't. 

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.