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July 30 -Alfredo gives us a heads-up on Republican plans. 
     The country is mired in two separate wars.
     The economy looks like it slept in the dishwasher.

     The Bush Administration has announced a budget deficit for this year of nearly $500 billion ($600 billion if you count the money to pay for the two wars).
     But to Rep. Lincoln Diaz-Balart (R-FL), the most important issue facing the U.S. Government is the fact that a Little League All-Star team somehow got permission to go to Cuba to play baseball.

What's the trouble? "This meeting was scheduled at the request of Congressman Lincoln Diaz-Balart," the invite said, "to discuss the very troubling granting of a Treasury/OFAC license to a little league team to travel to Cuba in August. I have included links to two newspaper articles that provide details on the issue."

The press reports were about a planned trip by an all-star team of 11- and 12-year-olds from eastern Vermont and western New Hampshire to Havana next week to play several games with Cuban counterparts. Unclear what happened at the meeting, but, as of yesterday, representatives of the 14 kids and their coaches said they had their license.

     Mark this as one more reason why the Republican are going to get beat so badly that their grandchildren will be born unelectable.
     Little League Baseball - the Republican Party's new terrorist organization! 

July 30 - Its been a rough three months for Swiss banking giant UBS.
     In May, a senior UBS official was indicted for helping an American real estate developer evade millions of dollars in taxes by hiding assets in an undeclared Swiss bank account.

The indictment is part of a widening federal investigation into whether UBS, one of the world’s largest money managers for the wealthy, helped certain clients evade taxes, and it suggests that American authorities are stepping up scrutiny of offshore tax transactions. The inquiry focuses on UBS’s private bank based in Zurich, which does much of its business through Liechtenstein.

     In July, the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations held not one, but two hearings and released a staff report documenting how UBS Wealth Management officials in the U.S. helped wealthy Americans evade hundreds of millions of dollars in taxes by hiding up to $20 billion in undeclared Swiss bank accounts.

     So what did UBS do between the indictment of Bradley Birkenfeld in May and the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations hearings in July? They did what any red-blooded American company would do - they gave nearly $100,000 in PAC contributions to Members of Congress, including healthy contributions to several members of the Texas congressional delegation.

Brady For Congress
P.O. Box 8277
The Woodlands, Texas 773878277
06/12/2008 contribution with check # 2017 1000.00

Congressman Joe Barton Committee, The
P.O. Box 1444
Ennis, Texas 751201444
06/12/2008 contribution with check # 2023 5000.00

Neugebauer Congressional Committee
3305 66th Street Suite # 1
Lubbock, Texas 79413
06/12/2008 contribution with check #2021 1500.00

     As Lilly Tomlin says, "No matter how cynical I get, I just can't keep up."

Thanks for the details on Joe Barton's acceptance of a donation from UBS.  I can't wait to ask him about it at the Town Hall meeting on August 4!!! 
Stephanie up in Arlington.

July 29 - Remember when I told Alfredo that it was impossible to embarrass Texas over its Congressvarmints?
     Well, I wasn't joking.
     Take a gander at rightwinger Pistol Pete Sessions of Dallas  --

We had never heard of a member of Congress holding a fundraiser at a Las Vegas burlesque nightclub... until now.

And the culprit is card-carrying conservative Rep. Pete Sessions (R-Tex.). The same Pete Sessions who scolded Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake for forcing "their liberal values upon the rest of the country" after their infamous 2004 Super Bowl halftime striptease.

But that was then.

Now we learn that Sessions held a racey (for Washington) fundraiser for his leadership political action committee last year at Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce nightclub in Sin City. A description of the club on its web site, which features a scantily clad dancer

      What happens in Vegas, stays ....  damn funny.

July 29 -Okay, so I go to lunch with some girlfriends and by the time I get back (1) California is rockin' and rollin', (2) Ted Stevens is just rollin', and (3) Obama is rockin'.
     I'm going out to dinner tonight, too, so y'all try to keep things under control.
     I do think it's kinda amusing that Ted Stevens is going down the "tubes."

For the Intertube challenged, here it is - straight from the Honorable Senator his tubular self -
I'm guessin' that the indictment landed on him like a big truck.

July 29 - Recession, high gas prices, housing mortgage crisis, a disastrous war, global warming, nuclear proliferation, and now this ----

Before you sit back and relax with that pedicure, make sure it’s safe to put your feet in the water.

For years, scores of news stories have circulated about antibiotic-resistant bacteria linked to skin infections that cause slow-to-heal, oozing boils on feet and legs — and even death in a few cases.

     Like I didn't have enough to worry about?
     Here's a list of bad salons in Fort Bend County

If you want to check out your particular salon, go to and click on "Violations by License Type." Once there, choose "cosmetology" under license type and fill out what information you have, such as the shop owner’s name or city or county, in the automated form. If your shop has been cited, you should find information.

     First jalapeños, now pedicures.  I know it's a Republican plot.  They're taking away things Democratic women love - one indulgence at a time.

I think you are missing the point.  If big government the Tx Dept of Licensing and Regulation(TDLR) didn't inspect nail salons, we wouldn't have to know about these problems.  Get rid of the data and the problem goes away....right?
BTW, TDLR also regulates combative sports, auctioneers, talent agents and weather modification. So evil geniuses must get a permit before working on their tornado machines (I'm looking at you Neil Patrick Harris).

July 29 - Thank you, Matt Davies --

July 28 - We get wonderful email.  You have just got to read this PDF of Judge Nowlin's decision.

Mornin' dear,
I am a graduate of THE University of Arkansas but please don't hold that against me. The vast majority of my family are UT grads and at least I am not a product of OU, as were my parents. My matriculation was more an accident of birth geography and my father's employment as anything else though I will not apologize for attending the school that gave the poor state of Arkansas it's only professional football team.
I am currently coming to accept the fact that my baby boy will be a UT grad and I can think of many a fate worse for him than that. Had he become an Aggie he would have been dead to me! I am actually very content with his choice especially since we are no longer faced with the prospect of competing against each other in the Southwest Conference. Now that UA and UT have gone their separate ways I must say holidays with family are much easier for me now.
The point of this yapping is to explain why my nasty little Texas cousin saw fit to gig me with the Judge Nowlin decision which I am forwarding to you. She's a Longhorn and a lawyer and just couldn't leave this one lie. You've probably have already seen it but if not enjoy. ( At the expense of all those still-grieving pitiful little Razorbacks.)
Carolyn Mazzo

July 27 - As most of you know, my favorite color is shiny.

     So I love Mi Tierra in San Antonio.  And that's not all I love about San Antonio --

     The street art is art.
     Texas, I love yew.

Dear Susan,
    For many years I have known that I can be distracted by a shiny object on my desk -- even if it be naught but a lowly paperclip.  If it catches my eye at just the right moment, everything else seems to be diminished in importance.
    I think the same thing has happened to Duhbya with Iraq.

Don A

July 26 - Alfredo warns us that Louie Gohmert is an embarrassment to Texas.

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) apparently hasn’t taken kindly to the U.S. Supreme Court’s insistence that the judiciary has a right to play a role in determining the fate of the detainees held at Guantanamo Bay.

If they want to get involved, Gohmert reasons, then let them get involved. He introduced a bill yesterday to transport the detainees from the naval base in Cuba to the grounds of the Supreme Court, where the Court “will be able to more effectively micromanage the detainees.”

He doesn’t stop there, apparently equally unimpressed with the intentions of congressional Democrats to involve themselves in the detainee issue. The bill, which Crypter John Bresnahan spotted in the congressional record last night, would also transport the detainees to the “Committee on Armed Services, and in addition to the Committee on the Judiciary, for a period subsequently to be determined by the speaker.”

     Alfredo is assuming that Texas can still be embarrassed by its Republican Congressvarmints.  Nah, we're waaaaay past that. 

July 26 - More pathetic.

July 26 - Oh Sweet Manna from Heaven at Election Time.  They're going to do more ads.
     You know you've got a bad Republican ad when Democrats gleefully put it on their website AND Fox News even giggles.

The video cost between 150-and two hundred bucks to make. Within a few hours it had racked up roughly 350 hits.

Not everyone is a fan. Rick Dovalina with League of United Latin American Citizens says it's silly, and misguided.

"Who are they trying to reach?" Dovalina said. "Everyone who is going to go out and vote speaks English. I think it's hilarious."

Deleon-Howard says despite what critics say there will be sequels. "Oh absolutely!" she smiled.

     Awww, they're being modest.  That's sweet.  Honey, they got more than 350 hits from my site alone.
     Oh please keep it up.  Oh please.

I thought I'd see if our favorite home video was still around, and SURPRISE! It's not! 
After doing a little searching I see that even your local Fox Nutwork affiliate had to get in on the fun. I wonder at what point Healey & Co. realized how pitiful they looked? I suppose this mean no more entertainment from the Compadres.

NOTE FROM SUSAN:  Au contraire - read above - they are doing "Compadres Two:  Return of the Inane."

July 26 - Okay, I admit it.  I've had days like this, too.

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- A 56-year-old Milwaukee man is accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn't start.

Keith Walendowski has been charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.

According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski says he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start Wednesday morning.

He told police: "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."

A woman who lives at Walendowski's house reported the incident. She says he was intoxicated.

Walendowski could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.

A call to Walendowski's home went unanswered Friday.

     You know, I kinda agree with him.  It's his damn lawnmower.  If you can't shoot your own lawnmower in your own yard, what has this world come to?
     I shot a tractor once.  Darn thing was hacking me off.  It's not something I'd recommend to everyone, however Bubba and the Boys behaved a lot better for a couple of weeks after that.

He was just trying to deliver the coup de grass.

Sam from Pearland

Hi Susan, 

I don’t think that bloke’s mistake was shooting the lawnmower per se, it was the way he did it. I’m sure that if he’d used a legal firearm and done it on a range, or at least not in a suburban backyard, no one would have cared. It’s just another example of a basically good idea spoiled by poor execution. 


Hardware, software, firmware, footware ... What do you mean, I spelled it wrong?

July 25 - Just as I was posting Fran's email about things being pathetic (below), Elizabeth sent me this ---

McCain Visits German Restaurant In Ohio

As Obama Gives Speech In Berlin, Republican Candidate Says He's Happy To Tour Nation's Heartland

     Oh that's sad.  As Obama is standing with crowds in Europe waving American flags, John McCain is at Schmidt's Sausage Haus und Restaurant, or as Elizabeth puts it, "McCain speaks to sleepy crowd at Der Weinersnitzel."
     So McCain and the wacko right goad Obama to go to Europe, and then whine as he does it oh so well.
     Obama makes America big again.  McCain makes America sleepy again.

That's it!  I'm headed to Zum Gasthaus in Lake Jackson to show my support for the schnizel.  All of you quiche eating liberals can kiss my black, red, and yellow striped butt.
Der GDRexpat

July 25 - Okay, to those of you who have gotten a much-forwarded email from "Cpt Jeffrey S Porter" claiming that Barack Obama ignored the troops, it's totally untrue
     And this is why I asked you to read the serious Jonathan Alter column. 

That's two today for 'ignoring the troops'. McCain was all over Obama this morning for not visiting injured troops in hospital in Germany. THEN it turns out that the PENTAGON didn't want him there because they determined it would look like a campaign stop and it wasn't right to use the troops that way. AS IF McCain didn't know that? McCain is losing it. Obama is looking more presidential by the day. Must be scary for the old guy. This isn't even fun to watch anymore. It's pathetic.


July 25 - I hate to ask you to think on Friday.  I know that's something I try to avoid at all costs. 
     However, Jonathan Alter has written something worth reading for those of us who blog / nonblog / read blogs.
     I'd like to give you a clip of it here, but it's something you need to read in its entirety or --- well, that's the point of the whole article. 

Susan, I'm sure you saw this comment  on the Alter piece. I have to go with Greenwald.


July 25 - I gotta give a shout-out to my friends over in Brazoria County.  Five years ago, there were only 6 Democrats in all of Brazoria County and now there's so many of them that they can't keep 'em all caged!
     And they've got a website and big old party coming up.  Way to go, guys!
     I think Republicans all over this state are in for a major shock.   We are fed up, wised up, pumped up, riled up, fired up and ready to go! 

July 25 - Thank you, Mike Luckovich -

July 24 - Our friend Deb sends a heads-up to stay away from Republican Congressvarmint Duncan Hunter because he takes his last name very seriously.

Rep. Hunter won’t visit Chadian refugees if he can’t hunt wildebeest.

Rep. Duncan Hunter’s (R-CA) staff recently contacted the U.S. embassy in Chad to see whether he could visit the country and distribute food at a refugee camp. He said he wanted to hunt wildebeest and then distribute the meat to the refugees. The embassy, however, wasn’t too happy with this idea — especially because there are no wildebeest in Chad:

     Deb suggests, " I hope a monkey drops a coconut on his head or a giant bird poops on him."  Well, as big and already full of poop that Duncan's head is, it'd take a really big bird for anyone to notice.

No wildebeest in Chad?  Now that's gnus! (OUCH)

July 23 - We get email about sewage.  No, seriously ---

Have you been keeping up with this effort in San Fran?  I have submitted my bona fides to represent The Great State of Texas as Ambassador to the Commission.  You can start by referring to me as "The Honorable Yippie Ki Yee" from here on out...

San Francisco (July 17th) - Officials at the Department of Elections announced today that the citizens' initiative to rename the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant the George W. Bush Sewage Plant has qualified for the November 4th San Francisco ballot. Voters will decide on the measure in the general election alongside the presidential election, numerous statewide initiatives, and an expected 20 to 30 local measures.

I find this turn of events surprisingly revolutionary.
Bush with a sewage plant named in his honor?
Especially fitting given that the man is full of manure!
This should become a national campaign in every city?


July 22 - Oh, Mr. President, please don't pardon me.  Anything but the pardon or the briar patch!    

Tom DeLay’s legal advisers are ruling out seeking a presidential pardon for the embattled former House majority leader.

DeLay (R-Texas), who declined to comment for this article, resigned from Congress more than two years ago after being indicted, and remains embroiled in legal proceedings in Texas and Washington.

     Well, duh.   Honey, I'm a natural blonde and I can figure this out.  Of course DeLay is saying he didn't do anything wrong and that he doesn't need a pardon.  So when Bush and the Gov pardon him, he can say, "Well, I didn't want a pardon, but I guess I have to take it now.  Rats!"

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) would have the power to halt DeLay’s prosecution on state money-laundering charges.

DeLay’s lawyer in Texas, Dick DeGuerin, said he would “love for him to do that” but emphasized that DeLay has not asked for a pardon.

“Usually a pardon is for someone who has done something wrong,” said DeGuerin. “Tom DeLay didn’t do anything wrong.”

     Well, that's nice.  His lawyer believes him. 

July 22 - Who's drunk and hung over, Mr. President?
Oh goodie - Republican Congressional wannabe Pete Olson in Texas 22 is just handing the race to incumbent Democrat Nick Lampson on a silver platter.
     George W. Bush came to raise money for Olson, and instead he acted all goofy again.
     These comments were made after Bush asked that the teevee cameras be turned off.  He forgot that in Texas, we hold a man to his words, camera or no camera ----

     The President of the whole entire United Sates of America said out loud to his Republican buddies in Texas ---

"There's no question about it. Wall Street got drunk ---that's one of the reasons I asked you to turn off the TV cameras --- it got drunk and now it's got a hangover," Bush said. "The question is how long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments."

     People are losing their homes, can't afford the gas to get to work, and America is deeply in debt to China, but the President thinks the economy is frat boy at beach weekend in South Padre?
     "All these fancy financial instruments?"  What the fool tarnation is that?  This guy went to Harvard?
     Kinda makes you wonder what else the President is saying once the cameras are off.
     And way to go, Olson - nice deer in the headlights look you kept over to the side there. 
     Nice going, Miya Shay.

I'm really glad that W cleared all that stuff up by 'splaining that we've actually been having a kegger for the last cuppula years.  I never really understood all those fancy a$$ed "Derivative Naked Short Mortgage Backed Securities Gone Wild" videos that they've been hawking on TV for all these years.  Now that I can put it into Fratboy terms, the whole thing about putting food on my family finally makes sense to me and the twins' Mom.
I'm praying nightly that ol' George will help 'splain ranchin' and cow tippin' to me before he moves off to Dallas with the little lady.  I'm about to go completely bust on them cows that I've got out back on our one dime ranch.  Wut with George's spread in Crawford an' everything, I figger that he has as great an understanding about animal husbandry as he does east coast ecomonomics. 
Man, it's been great having an MBA with his hand on the tap for all these years.  Another round, George!!
P.S. - Attached is a pic I snapped of W the last time we were at the ranch.



July 22 - For those of you from foreign states who are asking, no, I am not in Dolly's path.  She's headed to South Texas but we're dancing and hoping for a little rain here. 
     Besides, she's only a Cat 1 storm.  We don't even get out the umbrellas until it's a Cat 4. 

July 21 - Brian lets us know that there's some real class acts in the South Carolina Senate.  Please meet Republican Senator Kevin Bryant, a deacon at the "Concord Community Church, a New Testament fellowship."  He also spends a week each year at Camp Hope, a "Christian Youth Camp." 
     And in his spare time, he embarrasses Jesus.
     He just put this on his website.

     Anybody who lets this guy within a mile of their kids is either drunk or insane. 
     You might head on over to his site and let him how how proud his church must be of him, what with his dirty mouth and his hateful attitude. 
     I dunno know for a fact, but I kinda figure he's the kind of guy you'd find over Double Shot Liquor and Guns.  Drooling.  Or, in the South Carolina Senate.  Same difference. 

That's funny, I thought the difference between Obama and Osama was  that the Republicans are actually going after Obama.

Silly me.


I've tried to post the comment below several times to his web site but, for some inexplicable reason, it just won't stay.  Wonder why that is?

"  For equal time, I’m waiting to see you post a “satire” of McCain cheating on his crippled wife before finally hooking up with a rich heiress young enough to be his daughter, and obtaining a marriage license to the mistress while still married to the wife?  "



  You know I love me some KMBBB (hey, it's more entertaining than cable TV, and cheaper, too), but I've been thinking...what your Website really needs is...a contest. That story about South Carolina State Senator Kevin Bryant has inspired me...permit me to inaugurate the first Kiss My Big Blue Butt Weenie Of The Month! Here are the contestants for July:

     A. Ballpark
     B. Coney Island
     C.  Chicago Style
    D.  Just Plain Weener

Voting ends on Thursday, July 31st, and is open to regular readers of this Website (and all those who know a real weenie when they see one). The winner
(weiner?) gets an autographed CD of The Ballad of John Cornyn, the song that's sweeping the nation (and embarrassing Texas).


July 21 - Well damn.

The Food and Drug Administration has found salmonella bacteria on a jalapeño pepper imported from Mexico and warned consumers Monday not to eat fresh jalapeños and products made with fresh jalapeños.

     Anybody have any idea what I'm supposed to eat now?  Hell, Honey, I put jalapeños on my oatmeal. 

I've got jalapeno's growing in my garden/yard (not much difference around here). Can salmonella spread form my jalapeno's to my tomatoes? The government said to not eat fresh jalapeno's and they don't get much fresher than the peppers in the yard, now do they?
 How the hell am I going to make salsa? And what am I supposed to do with all that frozen cilantro, now?
What's the Government going to do about this? I don't feel all that good...
Damn you, Bush Administration!
 It's one thing to invade a sovereign nation on false evidence, but now you're so damned incompetent that you can't even protect our peppers. I mean...You ever tried to eat a egg without hot sauce?

July 21 - I'll be handing out hundred dollar bills to registered Republicans tomorrow morning on the Iraq / Pakistan border.  See ya there!
     Somebody give the man a globe!

Susan your invitation to join you at the Iraq / Pakistan border sounds wonderful, but I am afraid I have to decline as my Bubba will be vacationing in
Czechoslovakia.  Of course we will have to get directions  from McCain as we can't seem to find it on the map.  No wonder the poor thing was captured-he doesn't know where he is, has been , or going to be. 

July 21 - David just emailed and suggested that ---

Perhaps Republican County Commissioner Andy Meyers should invest $85 of his campaign "contributions" and take this class: Houston CPA Society Schedules Ethics Course in Fort Bend

     Which reminds me:  They filed reports again, but I haven't had a chance to scan and upload them yet.  I'll do it later this week.
     However, it's interesting to note that AFTER we caught Andy Meyers using corporate donations to plan his fundraiser, he decided to reimburse Walter Sass (not the corporation; Sass is the owner) $447.20 for all the corporation's help.  Cute, huh?  So, next time you need to give a $100,000 fundraiser, I'm sure Walter will make all the arrangements for a mere $447.20.  Heckuva deal!
     Andy Meyers is slicker than snot on a doorknob.
     By the way, Andy raised $75,000 for his tax free, vendor funded, lifestyle supporting campaign funds.  And wait till you see what he spent it on - not even including the $5,500 to his adult son. 
     That's $150,000 a year tax free from county vendors that he can spend however he damn well pleases.  Not bad work when you're already on the government teat for $120,000 a year.  And he doesn't even have an opponent.
     No wonder Republicans don't trust government - Andy shows them how easy it is to be a slimy politician. He's nothing more than a teevee evangelist with a government job on the side.  And all you gotta do is convince your rightwing electorate that you love Jesus and hate anybody who doesn't look like you. 
     As they say, Andy Meyers is just a shiver looking for a back to run up.


Give the guy a break.  That shirt cost at least $5.98 on the Academy Sporting Goods winter sale rack.  The yellow kerchief?  Almost a whole dollar.  I don't think he bought the hat.  It came from a dumpster in Pleak.  The bad boy black jeans?  1952 - the year not the price. 

He's not spending any money on his clothes, that's for sure.

Hey Zeus

July 20 - There are many cool things about spending the weekend in Halletsville and Austin at Democratic trainings, and I'll share some pictures with you later this week, but one of the coolest things is taking a first timer to eat at Matt's El Rancho Restaurant.
     Not only is the food great but you get to order something called "Bob Armstrong Dip" as a appetizer and then you
get to explain who Bob Armstrong is.  Is he a wrestler like Matt or a beloved Texas politician?
     Southern Living goes with the lore passed down to me in my college days - it's Texas' Bob Armstrong and it's good.
     Bubba, Jr., Middle Bubba, and Baby Bubba all grew up calling it El Matt's.  It's an Austin tradition. 
     You can eat at Stubbs (or my other favorite, Ironworks, on Friday, El Matt's on Saturday and then just roll yourself home on Sunday.

July 18 - Good news!  Phil Gram is still in the running to become Secretary of Whiners:

After Sen. John McCain publicly repudiated his close friend and adviser Phil Gramm's comments about a "nation of whiners" and a "mental recession," the two old political comrades patched up their relationship.

Gramm apologized to McCain for his remarks that gave Democrats an opening against the Republican presidential candidate and provided several days of ammunition for blogs, cable television and radio talk shows. McCain told Gramm not to worry about the expected pitfalls of a campaign surrogate. Gramm will continue as an adviser and surrogate.

Gramm remained a steadfast supporter last year when it appeared that McCain's campaign had collapsed. McCain was a loyal backer of Gramm's failed 1988 campaign for president and did not leave until the candidate dropped out of the race.

     Gee, I know married couples who aren't that in love with each other!  Well, and these two guys would be perfect examples of that.

I'm thrilled to hear that we'll still have Phil Gramm to kick around.  When I told Mrs. Pete Olson that I wouldn't vote for her husband  because of his association with Gramm, she said that "Phil Gramm is  one of the greatest economic minds of the century." -I bet that Phil  Gramm told her that.

-Charly Hoarse

July 18 - Thank you, John Deering.

July 18 - Oh no, I'm not putting up with it. I am not.
     Pete Olson and Nick Lampson owe us an apology.
     If this kind of paid political consultant oh-so-cute crapola continues from now until November, I'm sending Momma over to swat both their rear ends. 
     I have a question.  How come candidates can't speak for themselves?  How come they have to hire barely post-pubescent testosterone overdosed former second string college debaters to do their talking for them?  Is this some sort of winkie thing I know nothing about and aren't within a mile of understanding?
     If a young female got this snippy and silly, I'd call her and tell her to quitit dammit.  So, if the Lookie, Lookie, Ain't I Clever boys plan on keeping this up, I'm going to tell Momma and there's gonna be some patootie poppin'.  That's a promise.

July 17 - Now, I live in Texas so I've seen some real bad ideas in my life.  This, however, raises the standard ---

     It's in Schulenburg, just up the road from here, and David spotted it and stopped to buy me a koozie.  Damn, I have good friends.
     Just in case you can't see the sign ---

     Now, I know you're wondering who would fill out an application to work there, considering guns and hooch generally don't mix all that dandy.  Ya know, you put a little too much testosterone and not enough IQ with those "double shots" and nothing good is bound to happen.
     Well, maybe this helps.  It appears that Double Shot Liquor and Guns ain't all that big on the guns part - at least ones with bullets.  Now, the problem is that they don't specify how the guns must be unloaded.  I've unloaded a few guns in my life in a manner not appropriate to a liquor store parking lot.  Gee, I hope Bubba and Cooter don't shoot up that ice machine just to unload. 

July 17 - Bam!  Sweet Sugar Land just kicked it up a notch.

An overturned 18-wheeler that spilled its load of molasses closed a Sugar Land highway during rush hour on Thursday, KPRC Local 2 reported.

The accident happened in the southbound lanes of State Highway 6 at the Southwest Freeway shortly after 4 p.m.

Sugar Land police said the big rig tipped when it made a turn, dumping its load onto the roadway.

Officials said it would take at least four hours to clean up the accident.

     Pancakes, anyone?

July 17 - I've been pondering on this and I come to believe that Sweet Jesus doesn't mind you selling tires.  Nor does he mind you advertising.  However, I think he really gets antsy when you use him to sell your tires.

     Yep, right down the street from this, is a more tasteful version of Lord Jesus Cars.  This, I guess, is Riding on Jesus Tires.
     I kinda figure that someone who would use Jesus like that would probably use me, too.  I'd head on down the road and shop at Big Joe's Tires, Hubcaps, and Bait Supplies if I were you.  The more religious sometime tells me they are, the more I count the silverware.

July 16 - Okay, here's the #1 Reason why a Democrat, Nick Lampson, will keep the seat formerly occupied by Tom DeLay:  Tom DeLay is still running for that seat.  (It's a safe site to open while at work.  However, don't get into arguments there because it just entertains the mentally ill Republicans.)
     You know how to pronounce Pete Olson's name backwards?  Tom DeLay.

Yo Susan,
I see a familiar name in the Delay/Olson story:
"Olson's campaign also spent about $9,650 during the quarter with Marathon Strategic Communications, for media and "grassroots" consulting. The firm's address is listed at 3771 Vinecrest Drive in Dallas. Real estate records list the owner of the property at that address as Christopher Homan. Chris Homan was DeLay's former campaign manager.

FEC records show Olson's campaign also owes Marathon another $12,000 for consulting services."
Isn't this the same putz who goes around beating up little old ladies? If so, at least we know his going rate now. 
When is Delay gonna meet his cellmate? I'm getting impatient. 

July 16 - Ya know, Republican Congressvarmint Jeb Hensarling up in Dallas seems to be extremely popular with Countrywide Financial  Services.  They are throwing perfectly good American money at him even though he doesn't have a Democratic opponent this election. 
     And he's keeping it, even though Countrywide is --- well, in a pile of deep dung.
     And it appears that it's gonna get worse.
     So, Hensarling moves down the moral scale from whore to cheap slut. 
     (Sorry, Momma, there's just no delicate way to put this.  I know you don't like me saying whore, and that slut is a four-letter word.  But, Momma, the guy's like a two bit Pavement Princess who's gotta sell himself to feed his power-crack habit.  I can't think of any other way to say it.  Except maybe that he's like Uncle Dewayne who's serving time for armed robbery of a Tupperware Party.  Well, I should add that Uncle Dewayne isn't blood family, he just married into it and that he was armed with a vegetable peeler and that Aunt Clara May peeled him up one side and down the other when he came in drunk and robbed her Tupperware Party.  [Yeah, yeah, he robbed a Tupperware Party in his own house.  Did I mention that he was drunk?  And stupid.]  Well, Hensarling is kinda like that.  Except just the stupid and desperate part.  I don't think he's drunk.  Well, I dunno.  No telling what he is, what with all the recent revelations about Republican men.  Anyway, Momma, I'm sorry about the language so why don't you just skip over that part?)

July 16 - Those of you who have an unhealthy interest in numbers and politics will love this.  Paul Burka of Texas Monthly wonders aloud how this state will look come November
     Cool graphics and charts, too. 
     And local Republicans in Fort Bend need to be afraid, very afraid.  I mean, not just of themselves like this, but afraid of Democrats, too.

July 16 - We get email from people who read the Wall Street Journal and still have a sense of humor.


Well this editorial starts with a bang. Conservatism is not responsible for the collapse of the Republican party, says Tom Delay, it has just not had the opportunity to Shock and Awe™ us cynics into irrelevancy. We really need to give it a proper chance.

The Republican Party is in tatters, but conservatism shares no portion of the blame. Or so former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay wrote in a cheering column a few weeks ago.

The movement's ideals of "reform" and "justice" did not fail, intoned this towering figure of virtue; conservatism just never got a proper shot in the first place. "To paraphrase G.K. Chesterton," Mr. DeLay wrote, "conservatism has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried."

Did Mr. DeLay's head rotate on his shoulders, Linda Blair-like, when he wrote that line? I don't know. But it sure made this liberal chuckle. Nothing in this world Tom DeLay has ever wanted has been left untried.

Evidently practitioners of this particular brand of conservatism decides that when something or someone displays the possibility of inconvenient truths, they immediately circle the wagons (Conserve) and deny ever doing such deeds or knowing such people. If only they had more time they could have shrunk Big Government down to the three people who really matter.
Unfortunately for one of them, Mr. Delay will have to wait until he gets out of prison before he can see the full bloom of the movement's promise. 
The column by Tom Delay which inspired the WSJ editorial can be seen here. Of course, few outside of Hugh Hewitt's gravitational field ever was aware of it. 

   My God, are we to believe that Tom DeLay has read, or even heard of, Lord Chesterton?  If ever there was a tip-off that someone had hired a ghost writer, this is it.
    The subject of Chesterton's remarks, by the way, was "the Christian ideal," not conservatism.

I tried to go to the link for the Tom Delay diatribe and got this message.  Maybe I accidently clicked on something...or maybe they are just EVIL.



Qui tam pro domino rege quam pro se ipso in hac parte sequitur.

Rather than be content with  a modicum of success in his own sphere of influence, Tom DeLay has plunged into areas with which he has no real acquaintance, obscured with aimless rhetoric and distracted the attention of his former constituency with eloquent digressions and skilled appeals to racial and religious prejudice.

My gratitude for the vicarious platform.



Note from Susan - for those of you who wasted you time in high school learning an actual language that people still speak, or who also don't have an unnatural interest in the law, qui tam is a Latin phrase.  Now see, aren't you glad you came here today?  You are now a tad bit smarter. 


July 15 - Well, there one thing you can say about John Cornyn - that sucker stays bought.
     Five grand from the admitted crooks at The Scooter Store.  Fifty more bucks and he has to wear their logo on his suit pocket.

Here's something you might enjoy. 

July 15 - UPDATE:  They realized how incredibly dumb they looked and took it down.  However, I have a copy of it which I will put back up on my site when I figure out how to do that.  Meanwhile, I can email you a copy if you want it.

Oh sweet torta carnita on a bolillo, we found the You Tube.
     When we saw you last, we were hunting for the famous local Republican You Tube that would get "perhaps nationwide" awareness for Republican values.  Apparently, those values do not include production values.
     Oh dear, someone -- and I won't name names here --- really wants to be discovered as movie star even if she can't read her lines. 
     It's goshawful.
     And oh so silly.
     As one customer emailed after finding and viewing the video, ---

“Any donkey can kick down a barn . . . it takes an architect to build one.” 

John Healey, philosopher

      Well, except it's jackass and carpenter.  Fool me twice, ya can't get fooled again.
     Okay, so I think I've prepared you well enough for this, so here goes.  However, do not be fooled like I was into thinking it's 10 minutes long.  It's only 6:25 minutes of totally boring nonsense followed by three minutes of a blank screen and then a half minute of bad salsa music.
     Pay particular attention to John Healey's facial expression after he delivers his almost clever line of "Keep your change in your pocket."  And remember this guy is our District Attorney. 
Are we screwed or what?

     You know how you know that a Republican You Tube is really, really goshawful?  When a Democrat will cheerfully put it on her website.
     I know each of you will have your personal favorite silliness from this You Tube, but I'm kinda partial to, "Turn off the national news and vote!"  Yeah, dude, you do not want to know what the fool tarnation is going on before you vote. 
     I stayed till the end to discover that this You Tube was paid for by something called Republican Compadres.  I checked and there's no such group registered with the Texas Ethics Commission or the FEC.  But, that's no problem because Healey's the district attorney and he refuses to investigate or prosecute election code violations.  Hummm -- talk about something in someone's pocket.
     Tell ya what - if they'll agree to do another of these things, I'll pay for it!  And I'll even kick in some extra if Andy Meyers is in it.

My favorite part of the video is the last 4 minutes or so showing the unnamed Republican trying to find something with both hands but no flashlight.

Don A


I just watched the video again. Evidently they were as embarrassed about making it as I was watching it. The video ends at about 6:23, then black screen and silence for 3 minutes in quiet memory of the party that was going to rule indefinitely, and the last minute with some snappy Salsa music. A nice touch, as I don't know any Mexican adults outside of Mexico City who would ever be caught listening to Salsa.


Obviously the video editor doesn't speak Spanish because they didn't edit the beginning when she stumbled a few times.  Are they the party of English as the official language or not? 

Para los ninos my big blue butt.


Susan Honey - dontcha just love the poor guy at the end trying to explain that electing McSame IS change? 

These are the same people who encouraged me to vote for Bush 3 years ago.  They aren't talented at picking Presidents either.

Betty Sue in Misery City

You may not know this, but I am fluent in restaurant Spanish from many years of ordering the Acapulco plate at Ninfa’s.  I will be glad to translate what Mrs. Howard is saying: 

“Hola, my poor ignorant cousins who are not as beautiful and talented as I am.  We have an election coming up soon, and I am here with my beautiful and talented friends to tell you to vote for John McCain.  He is qualified to be President of the United States because he was shot down in Vietnam and then elected to the U.S. Senate after divorcing his sadly disabled wife and marrying a rich woman who, by the way, is not half as talented and beautiful as I am.   His opponent, Barack Obama, is a very scary man who inspires people to action with his words.  This is no qualification for President.  You cannot elect a man who has no experience blowing up things.  This would be bad for your children to have an inexperienced President, so turn off the national news and vote for John McCain.  Do not vote for the donkey.  By the way, this is not the donkey sitting next to me.  It’s just John Healey, the District Attorney of Fort Bend County.  Please forgive him for not being able to speak to you in beautiful Spanish like I just did, but he is the only elected official I could get for this first video in the series of many videos that we are going to do over the next few months.  Then, if you still like looking at me (and why wouldn’t you?), I will do more videos with beauty tips and grooming hints.  Well, enough of my future plans.  Let’s see what witty thing Mr. Healey will say to you.”

Wright N. Justice

Maybe if Ms. Howard had not been so busy trying to emphasize her cleavage, she would have been able to speak properly in at least one language; no excuse for the other two boobs, though.




Hi Susan, 

Today I’m driving southbound on Shepherd and just past 11th street in Houston, I see a stooped old man standing on the side of the road holding a home made sign.  My first thought is “oh man, this poor homeless guy didn’t even bother to walk to a corner, who is going to stop in the middle of the road to give him money?”  Then I get close enough to read the tattered says “Vote John McCain.” 

Republicans have hit a new low.  At least they could give their homeless ambassadors a nice sign.

Now why would a homeless person want Republicans in charge.My little brain is a little overloaded with this thought.  All I cancome up is that more people will be homeless and maybe he won't be so lonely.


John Healey on notice -


This deserves National laughter.  I want to see Craig Ferguson riffing on this, dangit!
Is it just me, or does this have the bona-fide look of a Middle Eastern hostage video?  Thank God we don't negotiate with Turrists. 


July 14 - Okay, so I thought local Republicans hit a low with Andy Meyer's distasteful political signs two years ago. 

     But, apparently they hit bottom and are still digging.  A press release went out today with this picture and information.  Now, I'm reprinting this exactly as it was received by the local media.  


Pictured is Fort Bend County District Attorney John F. Healey, Fort Bend County Precinct Chairs Elizabeth A. Howard, Samuel Reed, and Jenna Le Blanc with D-D the Donkey on the set of the first of the You-Tube videos. 

The taping occured Tuesday afternoon in David Show Walter's new office building in Richmond, TX. The purpose of the You-Tube is to bring awareness to the community, statewide, and perhaps nationwide on Republican values.

     Yeah, well, their spellcheck broke and they ain't spending the money to fix it, dammit, because that's like .... I dunno .... money they can save and take to heaven with them. 
     And David Showalter, who is fond of putting his picture on billboards, got his name mangled, but hey - there's a donkey in the show!  A real donkey!  You know, the animal that Mary rode to Bethlehem.  Think about that - she didn't ride no damn elephant or Hummer.  So much for Republican values, huh? 
     And then there's the small omission of the link to the actual You Tube that will get "perhaps nationwide" coverage.   Oh ... well ... I can pretty much assure you  that's gonna happen.  Kinda like Dean Hrbacek and suddenly skinny. 
     So, somebody with better hunting skills than I have, please try to find the actual YouTube they are so proud about.  It apparently has Republican District Attorney John Healey and a jackass in it - I hope it includes instructions on how to tell the two apart.
     Best we can figure, two years ago they went for hateful and mean.  This year they're going for silly, silly, oh dear God that's silly.
     And who sent this mangled press release?  Elizabeth A. Howard, the woman in the picture.  And, apparently she really, really wants "perhaps nationwide" coverage.

July 14 - Well, ummm, come to find out, John McCain and Phil Gramm don't even know each other ---

Yesterday, McCain economic adviser Carly Fiorina chimed in on NBC's "Meet the Press," saying, "I think John McCain has been real clear that Phil Gramm wasn't speaking for him, and in fact John McCain has said now for many months that he believes the economy is in a recession. . . . I don't think Senator Gramm will any longer be speaking for John McCain."

They met at cocktail party once, but other than that, uh no - they don't know each other.  Even if they did, they're just friends and John McCain is not having economic relations with that economist, Mr. Gramm.

July 14 - My theory?  They've come to pick him up and take him back home.

Analysis of Federal Aviation Administration radar by the Mutual UFO Network, a group dedicated to the scientific study of unidentified flying objects, confirms ground sightings of several unidentified aircraft on Jan. 8 flying 70 miles southeast of Fort Worth, Texas, with one appearing to head toward President Bush's ranch in Crawford.

     I think they have plans to use him to destroy other civilizations, too.  I mean, drop him off on Nebula 345H and within 8 years the whole place will have gone to hell and easy for the moongoons to take over. 
     Hey, I said it was just a theory.  Still, it's probably just as good as any theory anybody else had.

July 14 - It's a scientifically proven well-known fact that Fort Bend Democrats have their stuff together.  Well, now they have two places to put it!
     The first headquarters will be on US 90A - the busiest street in Rosenberg, the center of the county. 

     It's a former used car dealership with plenty of space to put large signs.  It even has a couple of out buildings for storage and fish fries.  The Grand Opening will be the evening of August 9th so reserve that night for loud Democratic fun!
     The second headquarters is the old Charlie's Bar-Be-Que in Missouri City on Texas Parkway, within walking distance of an early voting location.  Skip Belt secured this dandy location and he promises a Grand Opening there by the middle of August.  Way to go, Skip!

     We're ready to turn this county blue and will even have a Pin-The-Tail-On-Tom-DeLay booth at each Grand Opening.  We'll change the sign on the front from Charlie's to Obama's!
     If you live in some foreign state but want to help with our efforts, get a tee-shirt or make a donation!  You'll get a personal thank you note from me!

My Bubba thinks you should make it a “pin the indictment on Tom DeLay” booth.

Sugar Lander

July 13 - I tell people that I live dangerously close to Houston.  There are, however, some benefits to that.  It's a 45 minute drive to get there and a sugar high to get home.  El Bolillo bakery on Airline. 

     That's just the cooler.  There's three walls of baked goods. 

     Then there's also the cake factory and warm tortillas in the back.
     They give you a large platter, some tongs, and then turn you loose to hurt yourself in the most wonderful way. 
     It's across the street from the Farmer's Market so you can go buy some squash and carrots to eat --- tomorrow.


July 13 - You know, I've been wondering for a while - why is it that Republicans like the Second Amendment a whole bunch but not the First?


      Okay, so they want laws that you can carry a gun into a public library but you can't carry words into a public event?  Yep - them words are dangerous. 
     Rachel Maddow did the best commentary on it.  And by the way, I've been waiting for a good time to say this --- Rachel Maddow is the smartest person on teevee. 

Rachel filled in on Countdown this last week and was the only host I've ever liked as much as Keith Olbermann.  We recently got XM just so we could listen to Air American while riding around.  Takes some of the sting out of the $4+ a gallon.  Randi Rhodes show in the afternoon is a hoot.


If the Dems had any imagination they would have this Denver librarian come on stage just before Obama's acceptance speech, so she would get maximum exposure, and she could show her sign to the nation.  As well as tell what happened to her.  It would be even better if it turns out she's a grandmother.  John McCain the proud warrior doing battle with a grandmother.


July 13 - My friend Carl from Cheboygan found something I'd been looking for - Molly Ivins on Phil Gramm.

Gramm both looks like a snapping turtle and has the personality of one. When he ran for president in 1996 and finished fifth in Iowa, all the profiles written of him included the line “Even his friends don’t like him.” Self-righteous and strident, Gramm demonized his opponents and used bitter, polarizing rhetoric. During a Senate debate over Social Security, a member pointed out that the proposal under consideration would hurt 80-year-old retirees. “Most people don’t have the luxury of living to be 80 years old,” Gramm scoffed, “so it’s hard for me to feel sorry for them.” Well, there is that.

     Give yourself a treat by reading the whole thing and then thinking to yourself:  THIS is the guy who would be in charge of our economy?  Then think that out loud, To. Everyone. You. Know.


My former-Republican hubby used to revere Phil Gramm, mostly because the old boy once taught at A&M.  (Yes, Susan, I’m powerless…my kids are 4th-generation maroon Kool-Aid drinkers.)  But since he’s been on the Obama Bandwagon, he’s seen a side of the GOP he didn’t know existed.  I made a point of showing him your blog today, and I’m hoping things like Phil Gramm’s “can’t feel sorry for the 80-year-olds” will make Dear Hubby a PERMANENTLY former Republican.

Now if you and Molly could just come up with something REALLY stupid that George Bush the First once said…

Kathy Grace

I see John McCain ( or one of his uninteresting surrogates) did a rapid defenestration of Phil Gramm today. Maybe future advisers will keep such thoughts hidden so the mantle of Compassionate Conservatism™ won't be sullied. 
Oh, that was Bush's line? Sorry, I have a hard time telling the difference.

July 11 - Not only is the fox now watching the henhouse - he's taking bribes from the coyote.

Attention presidential candidates (and independent political groups hoping to make a splash in the 2008 campaigns): The referees are back on the field.

This morning, a full six members of the Federal Election Commission took their seats and announced they were back after a strange, seven-month hiatus. In their first official action, the commission elected a new chairman, Donald McGahn, who previously served as the lead lawyer for the House Republicans' campaign committee and handled legal work for former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas).

     Republicans now have their own guy heading up the FEC.  Not only that, but he's Tom DeLay's lawyer, forgoshsakes.
     If that doesn't scare you enough, try McGahn's first statement as head of the FEC ---

After taking the gavel, McGahn made clear the FEC will not be on the sidelines any longer. "We don't have a calendar yet," he said, "but be assured, it's going to be brisk and ambitious."

     Cripes.  Why not just let Karl Rove be in charge?

Well Susan, you've done it again.  The FEC post scared me enough to go work for a man running for State Legislature.
I walked and knocked on doors for my Senate seat-a really good progressive man (he beat the incumbent, yea!) who has no opposition in the general.  So I feel quite righteous, quite obviously.  But.............i better keep going, huh?
There is no rest for the righteous (sounds like something Tom DeLay might say)
Obama better stand up and say what a huge ELITIST Mccain and Gramm are.  hmmmmmm think I'll go call his office right now.
thanks again,

July 10 - One of the really cool things about being me, and there are plenty of cool things about being me which I will gladly enumerate for you at some point, is that people tell you all the good rumors. 
     Like this one.  Thank you, Steve.

A spokesperson for Alabama Governor Bob Riley denied that Attorney General Troy King is preparing to resign in the wake of a massive rumor campaign that has yet to be fully confirmed. The word is, according to multiple sources in Montgomery and elsewhere, that King was recently caught by his wife in a gay affair with a male aide and banished from his home.

According to Tara Hutchison in the executive office of the governor they have heard of no plans in the works for King’s resignation. She said she had not heard that he had been kicked out of his home because of a gay affair.

     Okay, so this wouldn't be too funny unless there was a ton and half of hypocrisy involved. 

Recently appointed Alabama Attorney General Troy King replaces Bill Pryor, whose presidential appointment to the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals was rocked with controversy because of his openly conservative views on homosexuality and abortion.

As a law student at the University from 1990 to 1993, King touted similar views, writing frequent editorials in The Crimson White on issues such as homosexuality, affirmative action and abortion.

King called homosexuality the downfall of society in the Feb. 21, 1992, CW.

     On the other hand, it's Alabama.  We should be thrilled there weren't farm animals involved. 


Another one bites the dust? the big one? Oops, whatever.

Troy King may be wrong about homosexuality being the downfall of society, but I have a feeling that it will be the downfall of his political career and marriage. Yet another repressed, bolted down 
Republican self-immolates. Is there no end to these stories?


July 10 - Look, I'm going to keep this simple. 
     Two Texas rich white Republican boys - Bush and Cheney - got us into this economic mess.  And McSame thinks another Texas rich Republican boy - Phil Gramm - can get us out?
     It don't take a triple digit IQ to know that Phil Gramm is Dick Cheney's twin brother
     Do not trust rich Texas Republican boys with your money.  Do not. 

"We have sort of become a nation of whiners," he said. "You just hear this constant whining, complaining about a loss of competitiveness, America in decline" despite a major export boom that is the primary reason that growth continues in the economy, he said.

     We've got a gazillion dollar national debt, gas is four buck a gallon, people are losing their homes, prices are skyrocketing, our infrastructure is failing, we can't respond to national emergencies ---- picky, picky, picky, whine, whine whine.
     So, what Gramm is saying is that this is the best we can expect when Republicans are in office?  We should just quit whining and suck it up? 
     Hey Gramm - suck this, buddy.  I ain't voting for none of you and then we'll see who's whining when they have to work for living.


I've got one lil' o' bitty word for folks to think of when they hear  (Land) Phil Gramm: Enron.

This guy is so anti-regulation, he'd like to do away with traffic  lights.  Sheesh!



July 10 - We get email from Sam in Pearland.

I loved the headline in the Chronicle about Grace Covenant wanting to erect a 200 foot cross on both ends of I-45.  I'm hoping they get to do it and that some enterprising owner of a "gentleman's club" on the gulf freeway follows their lead and puts up a 200 foot stripper.  Think of the possibilities:  the tassles could be used to determine wind direction and speed; strategically placed red lights could be used to highlight certain features.  It would almost make it worthwhile to go to Pasadena.

Dear Sam,

I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I think that when Sweet Jesus comes back, the last darned thing he'll want to see is a big ole cross.   I mean, I don't think that's going to bring back good memories for him. 

How 'bout we all get together and welcome him back with things he liked?  


Gee, Susan, when I clicked on "things he liked" I was SURE it would be a picture of a cool glass of Riesling with a nice filet of sole and a loaf of  San Francisco Sourdough...that's what I'm planning, anyway.


Re your reply to Sam:  I said the same thing first time I saw the  three HUGE Crosses at the entrance of a mega-church on the eastside of  Red Stick, Loozybanana. Bad memories, in deed.  Makes one really  wonder, WWJD then?!




July 9 - Well, I see that Texas Republican Senator John Cornyn flip-flopped on the Medicare bill after the AMA and three-quarters of the State of Texas went after him with intent to bar-be-que. 

The Medicare vote came down to the wire in dramatic fashion as 18 Republicans broke with their party to pass the House-backed bill.

Sighs of relief could be heard on the Democratic side as lawmakers, beginning with Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Texas), chairwoman of the Republican Policy Committee, joined with Democrats to pass the bill by a 69-30 margin. Hutchison’s Texas colleague, Sen. John Cornyn (R), who was on the receiving end of an American Medical Association ad blitz slamming his pre-recess position, also ended up voting for the bill.

Throughout the day, the pressure was on several GOP lawmakers to side with Democrats on the measure. Vice President Cheney came early to the weekly Republican luncheon, where the Medicare vote was discussed.

     Our friend Alfredo suggests that the story should have been titled, "Cheney Lobbies Senate Republicans, Fails Miserably"
     It's kinda pathetic that you have to run attack ads against your Senator to make him do the right thing. 

July 9 - We get very funny email from people in foreign states ---

Appreciate your site, access it first thing each morning from my dyspeptic perch up here in the Pacific Northwest.  So enjoy your evisceration of evangelical christianity, especially thieves like delay, hagee and debush. 

We were eating lunch one day on a job site when my old bricklayer buddy, talking of our childhood Sunday School experiences in conservative, fundamentalist churches.  He dissected the word "fundamentalist" for us:  "Now the DUH I understand.  It's the FUN and the MENTAL that escapes me." 

Keep shining your disinfectant light on the self-righteous bastards.  You've got grateful fan far afield! 

Mordecai Ham
Vancouver, WA


July 9 - Thank you, Mike Luckovich.

July 8 - Well, as Jim Hightower says, "There ain't nothing in the middle of the road except yellow stripes and dead armadillos."
     And Nick Lampson.
     Today Roll Call (subscription only) did an article on Lampson.  I can't print it all here, but I'll give you a little taste.

Texas - Mark Truskey, a self-described conservative, likes Rep. Nick Lampson (D). Truskey thinks the Congressman is a moderate who is focused on the right agenda - and he likes what the Democrat has to say on several issues.

But Truskey is still not going to vote for Lampson in November. Despite exhibiting some personal affection for the Congressman, Truskey plans to vote for ex- Senate aide Pete Olson, the Republican nominee in the solidly conservative, suburban Houston 22nd district - even though he admits to knowing very little about Olson at this point.

     There's an old saying that goes like this -- if you give Republicans a choice between a Republican and a Democrat who claims to act like a Republican, they'll pick the Republican every damn time.  Apparently, there's some merit to that, because Mr. Truskey continues --- 

"Right now, if I look at Lampson, and I look at what little I know about Olson, I think they have a lot of similarities to them," he said. "And all things being equal on the key issues, I would stick to the Republican Party."

     And Nick's "middle of the road" approach of not taking a stand doesn't seem to be working. 

When faced with politically challenging questions, Lampson often steered his answers into a related topic on which partisans on both sides of the aisle might agree, erring on the side of making the conservatives in the crowd feel at home.

     Look, I hate to give the guy a hard time, but for Lampson the dreaded "L Word" isn't "Liberal."  It's "Leadership."   He avoids leading like it's a flesh-eating virus.
     Lampson needs to quit dilly-dallying around.  Tell people why we need change.  Lead them to doing the right thing for this country and for their fellow Americans. 
     If you call yourself a Democrat, be a Democrat, dammit.  If you want to be an Independent, run as an Independent. 
     Cripes.  I heard a Democrat say the other day, "Well, at least Lampson is better than Tom DeLay."  Yeah, well, so is Bozo the Clown, but I don't want him for a Congresscritter either.
     Come on, Lampson, lead.  I know it's a 4-letter word, but it's a good one.  I'm not asking you to win a Profiles in Courage award; I'm just asking you to stand for something instead of falling for everything.

July 8 - Oh hell, I have a better idea.  Let's just do away with the police and let everybody everywhere carry a weapon.

Rep. Joe Driver (R-Garland) sees licensed handgun carriers in college classrooms as a deterrent to school shootings such as the 2007 Virginia Tech massacre, in which 32 people died and many others were wounded. Driver heads the Texas House committee that considers gun bills.

     Okay, so a gun fight breaks out on a college campus and the police arrive.  How are they supposed to know who shooter to shoot?  Are they supposed to look for white cowboy hats or something? 
     Cripes!  Is Texas the birthplace of bad ideas or what?

Frat boys gathered 'round a keg.  And they're packing heat.  Now that should send a chill down a parent's spine.

Dear Susan,
   As I recall, there was a once-popular saying that went something like this: "Kill them all and let God sort them out."

Don A.

Susan, I don’t know which is scarier:  Joe Driver’s ideas on college kids with handguns, or Don A.’s idea about letting God sort ‘em out after they’ve all killed each other.  The difference, I suppose, is that Don is probably just joking, whereas Joe Driver is DEADLY serious. 

On another topic:  Do you mean to tell me that there’s yet ANOTHER DeLay out there?  Please, please, PLEASE tell me that Randy DeLay is totally unrelated to Tom.  I don’t think my heart could take it if ol’ Tom had kin doing his dirty work for him. 

Kathy Grace

Dear Kathy Grace -- Randy DeLay is Tom DeLay's brother.  He's gotten pretty darned rich making people pay him for being Tom's brother.


Dear Susan,
   Please let Kathy Grace know that I was just channeling what I expected Joe Driver might say if someone asked him how the police were supposed to tell the good shooters from the bad one(s).


July 8 - Well, Campers, here's how it's done.
     Let's say you're Republican Don Young from Alaska and let's say you're in a tight race for re-election.  First you send an email to your favorite lobbyist, let's say ... oh, I dunno, .... Randy DeLay?, and mention that you need ... oh, I dunno, money? ... and lots of it.
     Don Young to Randy DeLay: contribute to my campaign or your clients are up the creek without a paddle or an chance in holy heck of getting their bills through Congress.
     Lobbyist money - it puts the Capital D in democracy.

July 7 - Texas Republican Senator John Cornyn is so slick he can't keep his socks up. 
     It's handy to have a leadership PAC like Cornyn does so when the CEO of a company that's reached a multi-million settlement with the Justice Department for Medicare fraud wants to give you a hefty contribution, you have a place to hide it. 
     I suspect that Cornyn figured nobody would check his leadership PAC rather than his campaign PAC, but sometimes bad things happen to bad people, and I like to play my part in that.

Douglas Trent Harrison
820 Harrison Rd.
New Braunfels, Texas 78132 Scooter Store, Inc. 06/05/2008 4600.00 CEO

     Did I also mention that Cornyn is so crooked that he has to screw on his socks?
     Check the date on that sucker -- this contribution was made less than a year after Harrison bought his way out of a jail cell.

In addition to the $4 million cash payment, the San Antonio wheelchair supplier will give up the right to reimbursement for most of its pending Medicare claims. Such claims total more than $43 million, but Medicare estimates that the payments The SCOOTER Store could actually expect to have received based on those claims is approximately $13 million. Medicare commonly reimburses less than the face value of claims presented to the agency for payment.

The cash component of the settlement package includes a $500,000 contribution by The SCOOTER Store founder Douglas Trent Harrison, who also agreed to forego dividends from his shares in the company for the next year in exchange for a release of his personal liability.

     John Cornyn - bringing you Texas justice the cahooting way!

     And just as a little treat to those keeping a hypocrisy score --
     The NRSC pitched a snot nosed hissy fit when Tom Harkin took money from the same folks.

July 7 - Okay, so I've been out and about with my camera again and am delighted to bring you more photographic evidence that I live in the best danged place on earth. 
     I dunno know about your town, but in my town, Jesus sells cars. 
     If you're driving down Highway 90A in my town, you see this sign ---

     Apparently, Jesus is coming.   But not before he sells you a car.
     Take a look at the back of that same sign --

     Phew!  I am certainly relieved that Jesus has financing available. 
     Here's the deal - finance your car instead of paying cash for it because if Jesus comes before the next note is due, you're not out the full payment price.  Smart thinkin', huh?
     In case you were wondering, the "L J" in L J Used Cars stands for Lord Jesus.  I know because I asked. 
     And what will you be driving when Jesus comes?  I certainly hope it's a car from Lord Jesus Used Cars because you wanna be on the Lord's good side. 

Well , now I understand all those signs that say  “Jesus Saves!”  apparently sells and provides financing too.  You’d have to wonder what the Prince of Peace would think about this unauthorized endorsement?


Susan Babe, I bet you can get some sweet deals there the day before the Rapture.  I'd go for a convertible so you can wave to all those Republicans in the handbaskets.

Hey Zeus

Susan -
Two years ago "Bubba" and I were trying to sink some T-posts in the lot next door to Jesus' car lot for some campaign signs. The owner came out and ran us off, saying that he was buying that land. Good thing, too. Just underneath the surface of that soil was solid iron, swear to Buddha.
- Hal

Dear Susan,
    A friend who lives up by Tomball used to say "If there's a fish on the sign, something smells bad out in back."


P.S.  No, I don't know why I say up by Tomball, I know that all of Texas is down thataway from here but I still think of Dallas as being "up".  My friend Tad who grew up in Chicago claimed there were only 4 places in the state of Illinois -- Chicago, Downstate, Up by Wisconsin, and Out by the airport.

July 5 - Our buddy, Fran, sent this amazing video on President Bush touring America to see the damage caused by his administration.
     You will hoot.

July 5 - Honey, I'm counting the days until I get to watch John Edwards mop the floor with Karl Rove's butt just by using extra IQ points.

GOP strategist Karl Rove and former Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards will debate the issues of the presidential campaign Sept. 26 as part of the university’s Distinguished Speakers Series, The Buffalo News has learned.

As surrogates for the parties’ standard bearers, the two also could square off more than once at other locations around the nation.

     My bet is that before the first commercial, Ole Karl will be limping.
     What intellectually impaired Republican strategist came up with the idea to let Bush's Brain on stage in September to remind everyone of the mess Bush Republicans have made? 
     Okay, mark your calendar because I'm telling you right now that I'll be having a party that night and you'll be invited!  You bring the cheese dip, okay?

Know thine enemy.  Great column by Paul Krugman equating McCain's election to Rove's third term. 

Sam from Pearland

July 4 - My friend Granny Geek is a Jedi master of bringing her home base to you through photography around her neighborhood. 
     I decided to try my hand at it ---

     First of all, you'd think with a name like that, they'd have been a little more successful. 
     Second of all, if they were so prophetic, you'd think they would have seen this coming ---


I fear you may be making unwarranted assumptions.  It's not clear, at least to me, that they were unsuccessful.  It depends on how much money they squirreled away before giving up the ghost.  While there are honest people who start churches, and have them fail, there are also those who had no intention of having their church do anything involving Christianity, and only went into it for the money.  I haven't followed the money here, so I'm not prepared to judge the success of this venture.

Mah Fellow Murkahn

July 3 - One more reason why I'm a non-blog.
     Brian sent this link to Kos about what happens online waaaaay too much ---

Dear Bill: Is there a method to winning a political argument online?  S.L., South Bend

Dear S.L.:  Try this:

You always You never You should You must You shouldn't You mustn't. Why can't you Why don’t you Why aren't you Why didn’t you How could you? You suck You blow You lie You have no idea. You ignoramus You jerk You partisan hack. You're lying You're cheating You're distorting You're asking for it. You're out of your mind You’re out of your league You’re out of your tree You're out of your gourd. You’re off your rocker You're off your meds You're off the reservation. You're wrong You're stupid You're ignorant ---

And on and on it goes.
     Lower that reply by 40 IQ points and you have the sock puppet gang over at Fort Bend Now who ruined a perfectly good and delightful website.

July 3 - Oh Holy Mother of Jiggle, this is going to drive Super DeLux Brand Christian Commissioner Andy Meyers and the Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club stark raving wacko

An unforeseen and surprising beneficiary of the Economic Stimulus Plan, a plan that George Bush contends will "boost our economy and encourage job creation," has surfaced this week. An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in millions of Americans' mailboxes across the country.

According to Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, "Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market."

     Hey Andy, now see what Republican economic policy has done? 
     Yeah, I see you trying to stimulate your economy, you nasty little boy.

Hi Susan, 

Just a small point. I though Andy Myers and the Belles of Heaven were already stark raving wacko. Are there degrees of raving wacko-ness that I’m not aware of? 


July 3 - Reason #317 why Texas Senator John Cornyn is going to get his rump handed to him this November:  even the AMA is hacked-off at him.

Physician groups around the country are angry with Republicans who did not support Medicare legislation, and are gearing up to go after them this election cycle.

And then ---

 “Outrage” is the word used by physician groups in summing up how they feel about Republican senators who voted last week against the bill.

AMA President Nancy Nielsen used that word after the vote, as did the Texas Medical Association’s PAC in a statement about withdrawing its support of Cornyn.

     Big Bad John is keeping Grandma away from her doctor while Tex steals her money (see below).  Republicanism at its best.

July 3 - Ya know, I love watching Republicans steal from Republicans, but there's gotta be a real special in hell for this guy.

The College Republican National Committee has raised $6.3 million this year through an aggressive and misleading fund-raising campaign that collected money from senior citizens who thought they were giving to the election efforts of President Bush and other top Republicans.

Many of the top donors were in their 80s and 90s. The donors wrote checks — sometimes hundreds and, in at least one case, totaling more than $100,000 — to groups with official sounding-names such as "Republican Headquarters 2004," "Republican Elections Committee" and the "National Republican Campaign Fund."

But all of those groups, according to the small print on the letters, were simply projects of the College Republicans, who collected all of the checks.

And little of the money went to election efforts.

     And the head of this little scam that took money from old people?  Oh Lord, wouldn't you know it - he calls himself "Tex."  Rule of Life, Honey: never eat at a place called "Mama's" and never do business with a guy named "Tex." 
     Click right here to read all about Robert "Tex" Moss.

Originally from Austin, Texas, before joining BMW Direct, Robert - better known to us as "Tex", served as the Grassroots Coordinator for the College Republican National Committee.

     And Grandma ain't eating tonight because chubby little Republican Robert "Tex" Moss done stole her money.  I hope Grandma chases him down and whacks him upside the head with her walker.

     And it seems that BMW might have talked puppets into running for offices they couldn't win and then using those races to enrich themselves.  It's some dirty stuff.

July 2 - Our friend Paul sent us a story about the #2 guy at the Department of Homeland Security. 
     Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security Paul Schneider took a helicopter tour of northern Montana to check on what we can do about border security.

"By his own admission, (Schneider) said he would not have believed the border's rural nature unless he had seen firsthand," said U.S. Sen. Jon Tester, D-Mont., who accompanied Schneider on the tour. "Because of our rural nature, we have challenges at this border that are different than anywhere else."

     Heckuva job, Schneidy!
     Uh, Dude, I kinda figured that northern Montana was rather "rural" because, dammit, I went to fifth grade!
     Besides, the Texas border with Mexico ain't exactly a thriving metropolis. 
     Oh please, we have to elect someone smart this time.  It's 7 years after 9/11 and these guys are just now figuring out that our northern border might be leaking?  That's scares the poot outta me.

July 2 - Well, there's good news and creepy news.
     The good news?  Countrywide is shutting down their Political Action Committee. 
     The creepy news?  But not before one final payoff to John Cornyn.

July 2 - Thank you, Don Wright ---

July 2 - We get email from foreign states ---

After I saw this I come to the conclusion that you and your cohorts must be the only sane ones left!


A recently passed law requires that Texas computer-repair technicians have a private-investigator license.

In order to obtain said license, technicians must receive a criminal justice degree or participate in a three-year apprenticeship. Those shops that refuse to participate will be forced to shut down. Violators of the new law can be hit with a $4,000 dollar fine and up to a year in jail, penalties that apply to customers who seek out their services.

July 1 - Well, see, I thought I was going to have mess of fun this election season with GOP Congresscritter Wannabe Pete Olson. 
     I figured that pointing out that he has the same campaign manager, staff, fundraiser person, and party planner as Tom DeLay would be a blast from the past for me.  I was going to play, "Lookie, Tom DeLay, Jr. is running for Congress!"
     And then there's that whole Village People thing.  You can't help but have fun with Captain Love Boat.
     And then - rats! - Pete Olson went and ruined it all.
     Just totally ruined it.
     He's not going to be Tom DeLay, Jr. 
     He's going to be George Bush and Dick Cheney II.
     No, seriously. 
     Check this out ---

President Bush is coming to River Oaks in 17 days to help raise money for congressional candidate Pete Olson and the Texas GOP's statewide campaign.

As you can see from your very own copy of the invitation, the private fund-raising reception is slated for the new, 12,600-square-foot Houston home of Dan and Kim Tutcher. Dan Tutcher was top exec at Enbridge Energy Partners, which moves natural gas and other fuels around the continent through its pipelines. This year he was a big financial supporter of former Sen. Fred Thompson's short-lived presidential campaign.

     I live in the only damn place on God's green earth where George Bush, Dick Cheney, and energy moguls are considered helpful to a political campaign.  Oh Lord, this is sad.  I deserve to live in a classier joint.  I do. 

it’s any consolation, Susan, you’re living in this hellhole with a lotta likeminded folks.  My Dear Hubby and I were cussin’ and discussin’ the status quo the other night, and he asked if I thought it was possible the Republicans would cause a terrorist attack to occur in the not-so-distant future so that McCain would win in November.  I replied that I thought they were certainly capable of it, and where did he think we could move if that happened?  Because Susan, it’s been hard enough living here for the past 8 years.  But if McSame just takes over where the Bush Baby left off, it will be Hell on Earth. 

Dear Hubby advised that unless he could find a job elsewhere (and that’s not likely), we’d be staying put.  So if said terrorist attack happens, and Johnny-Come-Lately becomes our Less-Than-Venerated Leader because of it, I’ll buy you a beer on a regular basis just so I can have SOMEONE with whom to drown my sorrows! 


Thanks for the traffic tip.  I'll put it on my calendar to avoid Kirby Dr. on that day.  It seems like I'm always getting stuck in the middle of some R.O. fundraiser along there. 

In other news, did you see this:  (from

July 1 - Okay, so you'd think after the mess Bush and Cheney got us into, it'd be a cold day in Del Rio before any Presidential candidate would trust the economy to a Texas Republican.
     That's what you'd think.
     And you'd be thinking wrong.
     Two words:  Phil Grammsucks.
      I dunno.  I ain't the brightest light on the marquee but I don't think it would be good for McCain's campaign if his chief economic advisor
, former Senator Phil Gramm, is indicted for assisting wealthy Americans to illegally evade paying hundreds of millions of dollars in taxes on assets hidden in Swiss bank accounts.  That could just be me, though.  I ain't dandy proud of Phil Gramm as it is, much less Phil Gramm with my money.

Under pressure from the authorities, UBS is considering whether to divulge the names of up to 20,000 of its well-heeled American clients, according to people close to the inquiry, a step that would have once been unthinkable to Swiss bankers, whose traditions of secrecy date to the Middle Ages.

Federal investigators believe some of the clients may have used offshore accounts at UBS to hide as much as $20bn in assets from the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). Doing so may have enabled these people to dodge at least $300m in federal taxes on income from those assets, according to a government official connected with the investigation.

     And what would all this tax evading have to do with Phil Gramm?

The IRS is trying to serve a summons on Swiss bank UBS AG seeking information on U.S. taxpayers who may have used the bank to gin up records to avoid billions in taxes on offshore investments.

Top McCain economic advisor Phil Gramm is vice chairman of UBS' U.S. division which already has drawn unflattering scrutiny for writing off big losses in subprime mortgage-backed securities.

Gramm, the former Texas senator and presidential candidate, was registered to lobby Congress last year on mortgage securities issues on behalf of UBS.

     Look, a small word of advice to people out there:  Avoid Texas Republicans.  They are a flesh eating virus, and they will steal the gold out of your Grandmother's teeth.  While she's chewing.  And talk about it at the country club.  Haven't you people learned anything from Bush?

July 1 - So it just gets funner and funner with David Beckwith.  Our buddy Don A. is playing it for all it's worth  ----

Dear Susan,
   I was so impressed by Buck Smith, that I just HAD to see what he wrote in the counter-insurgency blog.  "Come to find out" (as they say here in Pennsyltucky) it had a link to his own blog.

Of course, it doesn't have much in it.


July 1 - Sometimes along comes a story that's so heartwarming, so wonderful, and so charming that you just have to share it with your friends.
     This is such a story.
     Republicans are now stealing from Republicans.
     Yes, it's true.  They've stolen all they can from the rest of us with their higher taxes, a failing infrastructure, corporate meltdowns, golden parachutes, and God only knows how much Halliburton has ripped us off, so now they have to turn to a fresh source of money supply - each other. 
     It's charming and delightful cannibalism. 
     This three page story is worth the read in shear giggle-factor alone.  It tells the tale of a GOPper who ran against Barney Frank as a write-in ---

Yet the political fund-raising firm that ran Morse's campaign finances reported that it raised more than $700,000 for his race, much of it from GOP contributors across the country eager to help defeat a Massachusetts liberal - and some of it donated well after Morse abandoned the race.

A review of campaign reports shows that, rather than spending that money in the Fourth Congressional District, 96 percent of the funds raised in Morse's name were used to pay a politically connected direct-mail firm in Washington, BMW Direct Inc., and a coterie of BMW Direct's affiliates and contractors. The firms specialize in national fund-raising appeals on behalf of conservative Republican candidates and right-wing causes.

     I'm going to go read it again. I like this part ---    

BMW Direct is not the only direct-mail firm raising money for little-known Massachusetts Republicans. This year, Jeff Beatty, the Republican running against Kerry, has boasted that he raised $976,000 in a nationwide mail campaign in a few short months late last year and earlier this year. But again, 90 percent of his funds were eaten by the fund-raising expenses. That fund-raising effort was run by another Washington direct-mail firm, Response America. Beatty's aides said he expects the mailing operation will allow him to create a donor base that he can use as the race progresses.

     Y'all keep this up, ya hear?

July 1 - And Alfredo give us a heads-up.  The Republican Party has a new motto:  Republicans Suck!
     Here's a fun little story from Springfield, Missouri, where Republican candidates are running on the platform that Republicans don't have any ethics. 
     No, I am not joking.  I am totally serious.
     Read it yourself.

In essence, the Republican gubernatorial candidates are appealing to Republican voters by implying that Republican officeholders have done a poor job of instilling ethics in government.

     In the understatement of the year, a political science professor in Missouri says ---

"These are tough times, I think, for Republicans, and they've got and try to differentiate themselves from the Republican brand and from the governor," Kimball said. "And ethics is one of the easier issues where they can do that while still being conservative."

     It appears to be contagious.  A website calling itself Texas News Post interviews West Texas Republican Congressman Mike Conaway.  Conaway admits that Republicans have a problem: "What we said didn't match up with what we did." Ya think?
     But, Conaway thinks that Republicans "have a shot" at winning back the House.  Yeah, but only if that shot comes from Dick Cheney's hunting rifle. 
     I don't think Conaway would be willing to put money on that, though. 
     By the way, Conaway is ---

Longtime friend and business partner of George W. Bush, Mike Conaway was CFO of the Midland, Texas bank which lent Bush $500,000 so he could participate in an extremely lucrative deal to purchase the Texas Rangers.

July 1 - Oh, this story ain't going away.  No, sireee.
     This story doesn't have legs, it has wheels. 
     You recall the silly Senator John Cornyn video that everybody in the nation - including the Today show - has had fun with.
     Well, instead of getting his client off the news with this silliness, Cornyn's Campaign Manager, David Beckwith, has put his own ego - and bigger than Big Bend National Park it is! - ahead of his boss.
     When people speculated that Beckwith would be fired for the silly ad, one courageous guy came to Beckwith's defense - Beckwith. 
     Beckwith went on a very popular blog, Burnt Orange Report, and named himself Buck Smith.  Okay, so sock puppeting isn't all that uncommon.  It's a ruined many a good website
     What is uncommon, though, is that Beckwith suggests that Beckwith should get a raise for the brilliant Cornyn ad.

"Buck Smith" wrote, "I personally believe Beckwith deserves a raise and/or a promotion for whatever role he had in that video ..."

     Beckwith has managed a seemingly impossible feat - he now looks goofier than Cornyn.




Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom DeLay's old district.  It's crazy here.  No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans.  They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber. 

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog.  Blogs are way too trendy for me.  I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't. 

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.