If you'd
like to make a comment,
email it to me
Email comments are in the blue boxes.
July 30 -Alfredo
gives us a heads-up on Republican plans.
The country is mired in two separate wars.
The economy looks like it slept in the dishwasher.
The Bush Administration has announced a budget deficit
for this year of nearly $500 billion ($600 billion if
you count the money to pay for the two wars).
But to Rep. Lincoln Diaz-Balart (R-FL), the most
important issue facing the U.S. Government is the fact
that a
Little League All-Star team somehow got permission to go
to Cuba to play baseball.
What's the trouble?
"This meeting was scheduled at the request of
Congressman Lincoln Diaz-Balart," the invite said,
"to discuss the very troubling granting of a
Treasury/OFAC license to a little league team to
travel to Cuba in August. I have included links to
two newspaper articles that provide details on the
issue."
The press reports
were about a planned trip by an all-star team of 11-
and 12-year-olds from eastern Vermont and western
New Hampshire to Havana next week to play several
games with Cuban counterparts. Unclear what happened
at the meeting, but, as of yesterday,
representatives of the 14 kids and their coaches
said they had their license.
Mark this as one more reason why the Republican are
going to get beat so badly that their grandchildren will
be born unelectable.
Little League Baseball - the Republican Party's new
terrorist organization!
July 30 - Its
been a rough three months for
Swiss banking giant
UBS.
In May, a senior UBS official was indicted for helping
an American real estate developer evade millions of
dollars in taxes by hiding assets
in an undeclared Swiss bank account.
The indictment is
part of a widening federal investigation into
whether UBS, one of the world’s largest money
managers for the wealthy, helped certain clients
evade taxes, and it suggests that American
authorities are stepping up scrutiny of offshore tax
transactions. The inquiry focuses on UBS’s private
bank based in Zurich, which does much of its
business through Liechtenstein.
So what did UBS do between the indictment of Bradley
Birkenfeld in May and the Senate Permanent Subcommittee
on Investigations hearings in July? They did what any
red-blooded American company would do - they gave nearly
$100,000 in PAC contributions to Members of Congress,
including healthy
contributions to several members of the Texas
congressional delegation.
Brady For Congress
P.O. Box 8277
The Woodlands, Texas 773878277
06/12/2008 contribution with check # 2017 1000.00
Congressman Joe Barton Committee, The
P.O. Box 1444
Ennis, Texas 751201444
06/12/2008 contribution with check # 2023 5000.00
Neugebauer Congressional Committee
3305 66th Street Suite # 1
Lubbock, Texas 79413
06/12/2008 contribution with check #2021 1500.00
As Lilly Tomlin says, "No matter how cynical I get, I
just can't keep up."
Susan,
Thanks for
the details on Joe Barton's acceptance
of a donation from UBS. I can't
wait to ask him about it at the Town
Hall meeting on August 4!!!
We
had never heard of a member of Congress holding a
fundraiser at a Las Vegas burlesque nightclub...
until now.
And the culprit is
card-carrying conservative
Rep. Pete Sessions
(R-Tex.). The same Pete Sessions who scolded
Janet Jackson and
Justin Timberlake
for forcing "their liberal values upon the rest of
the country" after their infamous 2004 Super Bowl
halftime striptease.
But that was then.
Now we learn that
Sessions held a racey (for Washington) fundraiser
for his leadership political action committee last
year at Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce
nightclub in Sin City. A description of the club on
its
web site, which features a scantily clad dancer
What happens in Vegas, stays ....
damn funny.
July 29 -Okay,
so I go to lunch with some girlfriends and by the time I
get back (1)
California is rockin' and rollin', (2)
Ted
Stevens is just rollin', and (3)
Obama is
rockin'.
I'm going out to dinner tonight, too, so y'all try to
keep things under control.
I do think it's kinda amusing that Ted Stevens is going
down the "tubes."
For the
Intertube challenged,
here it is - straight from the
Honorable Senator his tubular self -
I'm guessin'
that the indictment landed on him like a
big truck.
USexpat
July 29 -
Recession, high gas prices, housing mortgage crisis, a
disastrous war, global warming, nuclear proliferation,
and now this ----
Before you sit back
and relax with that pedicure, make sure it’s safe to
put your feet in the water.
For years, scores of
news stories have circulated about
antibiotic-resistant bacteria linked to skin
infections that cause slow-to-heal, oozing boils on
feet and legs — and even death in a few cases.
If you want
to check out your particular salon, go to
www.license.state.tx.us and click on "Violations
by License Type." Once there, choose "cosmetology"
under license type and fill out what information you
have, such as the shop owner’s name or city or
county, in the automated form. If your shop has been
cited, you should find information.
First jalapeños, now pedicures. I know it's a
Republican plot. They're taking away things
Democratic women love - one indulgence at a time.
Susan,
I think
you are missing the point. If big
government the Tx Dept of Licensing and
Regulation(TDLR) didn't inspect nail
salons, we wouldn't have to know about
these problems. Get rid of the
data and the problem goes away....right?
BTW,
TDLR also regulates combative sports,
auctioneers, talent agents and weather
modification. So evil geniuses must get
a permit before working on their tornado
machines (I'm looking at you
Neil Patrick Harris).
July 28 - We
get wonderful email. You have just got to read
this PDF of Judge Nowlin's decision.
Mornin' dear,
I am a
graduate of THE University of Arkansas
but please don't hold that against me.
The vast majority of my family are UT
grads and at least I am not a product of
OU, as were my parents. My matriculation
was more an accident of birth geography
and my father's employment as anything
else though I will not apologize for
attending the school that gave the poor
state of Arkansas it's only professional
football team.
I am
currently coming to accept the fact that
my baby boy will be a UT grad and I can
think of many a fate worse for him than
that. Had he become an Aggie he would
have been dead to me! I am actually very
content with his choice especially since
we are no longer faced with the prospect
of competing against each other in the
Southwest Conference. Now that UA and UT
have gone their separate ways I must
say holidays with family are much easier
for me now.
The point
of this yapping is to explain why my
nasty little Texas cousin saw fit to gig
me with the
Judge Nowlin decision which I am
forwarding to you. She's a Longhorn
and a lawyer and just couldn't leave
this one lie. You've probably have
already seen it but if not enjoy. ( At
the expense of all those still-grieving
pitiful little Razorbacks.)
Carolyn
Mazzo
July 27 - As
most of you know, my favorite color is shiny.
So I love Mi
Tierra in San Antonio. And that's not all I
love about San Antonio --
The street art is art.
Texas, I love yew.
Dear Susan,
For many years I have
known that I can be distracted by a shiny
object on my desk -- even if it be naught
but a lowly paperclip. If it catches
my eye at just the right moment, everything
else seems to be diminished in importance.
I think the same thing
has happened to Duhbya with Iraq.
Rep.
Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) apparently hasn’t taken
kindly to the U.S. Supreme Court’s insistence that
the judiciary has a right to play a role in
determining the fate of the detainees held at
Guantanamo Bay.
If they want to get involved, Gohmert reasons, then
let them get involved. He introduced a bill
yesterday to transport the detainees from the naval
base in Cuba to the grounds of the Supreme Court,
where the Court “will be able to more effectively
micromanage the detainees.”
He doesn’t stop there, apparently equally
unimpressed with the intentions of congressional
Democrats to involve themselves in the detainee
issue. The bill, which Crypter John Bresnahan
spotted in the congressional record last night,
would also transport the detainees to the “Committee
on Armed Services, and in addition to the Committee
on the Judiciary, for a period subsequently to be
determined by the speaker.”
Alfredo is assuming that Texas can still be embarrassed
by its Republican Congressvarmints. Nah, we're
waaaaay past that.
The video
cost between 150-and two hundred bucks to make.
Within a few hours it had racked up roughly 350
hits.
Not everyone is a fan. Rick Dovalina with League of
United Latin American Citizens says it's silly, and
misguided.
"Who are they trying to reach?" Dovalina said.
"Everyone who is going to go out and vote speaks
English. I think it's hilarious."
Deleon-Howard says despite what critics say there
will be sequels. "Oh absolutely!" she smiled.
Awww, they're being modest. That's sweet.
Honey, they got more than 350 hits from my site alone.
Oh please keep it up. Oh please.
Susan,
I thought
I'd see if our favorite home video was
still around, and SURPRISE! It's not!
After
doing a little searching I see that even
your local Fox Nutwork affiliate had to
get in on the fun.
I wonder at what point Healey & Co.
realized how pitiful they looked? I
suppose this mean no more entertainment
from the Compadres.
Brian
NOTE
FROM SUSAN: Au contraire - read
above - they are doing "Compadres Two:
Return of the Inane."
MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- A 56-year-old
Milwaukee man is accused of shooting his lawn mower
because it wouldn't start.
Keith Walendowski has
been charged with felony possession of a
short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor
disorderly conduct while armed.
According to the
criminal complaint, Walendowski says he was angry
because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start Wednesday
morning.
He told police: "I
can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can
shoot it if I want."
A woman who lives at
Walendowski's house reported the incident. She says
he was intoxicated.
Walendowski could
face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three
months in prison if convicted.
A
call to Walendowski's home went unanswered Friday.
You know, I kinda agree with him. It's his damn
lawnmower. If you can't shoot your own lawnmower
in your own yard, what has this world come to?
I shot a tractor once. Darn thing was hacking me
off. It's not something I'd recommend to everyone,
however Bubba and the Boys behaved a lot better for a
couple of weeks after that.
He was just
trying to deliver the coup de grass.
Sam from
Pearland
Hi Susan,
I don’t
think that bloke’s mistake was shooting
the lawnmower per se, it was the way he
did it. I’m sure that if he’d used a
legal firearm and done it on a range, or
at least not in a suburban backyard, no
one would have cared. It’s just another
example of a basically good idea spoiled
by poor execution.
Jess
Hardware,
software, firmware, footware ... What do
you mean, I spelled it wrong?
As Obama Gives Speech In
Berlin, Republican Candidate Says He's Happy To Tour
Nation's Heartland
Oh that's sad. As Obama is standing with crowds in
Europe waving American flags, John McCain is at
Schmidt's Sausage Haus und Restaurant, or as Elizabeth
puts it, "McCain speaks to sleepy crowd at Der
Weinersnitzel."
So McCain and the wacko right goad Obama to go to
Europe, and then whine as he does it oh so well.
Obama makes America big again. McCain makes
America sleepy again.
That's it! I'm headed to Zum
Gasthaus in Lake Jackson to show my
support for the schnizel. All of
you quiche eating liberals can kiss my
black, red, and yellow striped butt.
Der
GDRexpat
July 25 -
Okay, to those of you who have gotten a much-forwarded
email from "Cpt Jeffrey S Porter" claiming that Barack
Obama ignored the troops,
it's totally untrue.
And this is why I asked you to read the serious
Jonathan Alter column.
That's two
today for 'ignoring the troops'. McCain was
all over Obama this morning for not visiting
injured troops in hospital in Germany.
THEN it turns out that the PENTAGON
didn't want him there because they
determined it would look like a campaign
stop and it wasn't right to use the troops
that way. AS IF McCain didn't know that?
McCain is losing it. Obama is looking more
presidential by the day. Must be scary for
the old guy. This isn't even fun to watch
anymore. It's pathetic.
Fran
July 25 -
I hate to ask you to think on Friday. I know
that's something I try to avoid at all costs.
However,
Jonathan Alter has written something worth reading
for those of us who blog / nonblog / read blogs.
I'd like to give you a clip of it here, but it's
something you need to read in its entirety or --- well,
that's the point of the whole article.
Susan, I'm
sure you saw this
comment on the Alter
piece. I have to go with Greenwald.
Bob
July 25 - I
gotta give a shout-out to my friends over in Brazoria
County. Five years ago, there were only 6
Democrats in all of Brazoria County and now there's so
many of them that they can't keep 'em all caged!
And they've got a
website
and
big old party coming up. Way to go, guys!
I think Republicans all over this state are in for a
major shock. We are fed up, wised up, pumped
up, riled up, fired up and ready to go!
Rep. Duncan Hunter’s
(R-CA) staff recently contacted the U.S. embassy in
Chad to see whether he could visit the country and
distribute food at a refugee camp. He said he wanted
to hunt wildebeest and then distribute the meat to
the refugees. The embassy, however, wasn’t too happy
with this idea — especially because there are
no wildebeest in Chad:
Deb suggests, " I hope a monkey drops a coconut on his
head or a giant bird poops on him." Well, as big
and already full of poop that Duncan's head is, it'd
take a really big bird for anyone to notice.
No wildebeest in Chad? Now that's
gnus! (OUCH)
USpunster
July 23 - We
get email about sewage. No, seriously ---
Have you been keeping up with
this effort in San Fran? I
have submitted my bona fides to
represent The Great State of Texas as
Ambassador to the Commission. You
can start by referring to me as "The
Honorable Yippie Ki Yee" from here on
out...
USexpat
San
Francisco (July 17th) - Officials at
the Department of Elections
announced today that the citizens'
initiative to rename the Oceanside
Water Pollution Control Plant the
George W. Bush Sewage Plant has
qualified for the November 4th San
Francisco ballot. Voters will decide
on the measure in the general
election alongside the presidential
election, numerous statewide
initiatives, and an expected 20 to
30 local measures.
I find
this turn of events surprisingly
revolutionary.
Bush with a sewage plant named in his
honor?
Especially fitting given that the man is
full of manure!
This should become a national campaign
in every city?
Tom DeLay’s legal
advisers are ruling out seeking a presidential
pardon for the embattled former House majority
leader.
DeLay (R-Texas), who
declined to comment for this article, resigned from
Congress more than two years ago after being
indicted, and remains embroiled in legal proceedings
in Texas and Washington.
Well, duh. Honey, I'm a natural blonde and I
can figure this out. Of course DeLay is saying he
didn't do anything wrong and that he doesn't need a
pardon. So when Bush and the Gov pardon him, he
can say, "Well, I didn't want a pardon, but I guess I
have to take it now. Rats!"
Texas Gov. Rick Perry
(R) would have the power to halt DeLay’s prosecution
on state money-laundering charges.
DeLay’s lawyer in
Texas, Dick DeGuerin, said he would “love for him to
do that” but emphasized that DeLay has not asked for
a pardon.
“Usually a pardon is
for someone who has done something wrong,” said
DeGuerin. “Tom DeLay didn’t do anything wrong.”
Well, that's nice. His lawyer believes him.
July 22 - Who's
drunk and hung over, Mr. President? Oh goodie - Republican Congressional wannabe Pete
Olson in Texas 22 is just handing the race to incumbent
Democrat Nick Lampson on a silver platter.
George W. Bush came to raise money for Olson, and
instead he acted all goofy again.
These comments were made after Bush asked that the
teevee cameras be turned off. He forgot that in
Texas, we hold a man to his words, camera or no camera
----
The President of the whole entire United Sates of
America said out loud to his Republican buddies in Texas
---
"There's no
question about it. Wall Street got drunk ---that's
one of the reasons I asked you to turn off the TV
cameras --- it got drunk and now it's got a
hangover," Bush said. "The question is how long will
it sober up and not try to do all these fancy
financial instruments."
People are losing their homes, can't afford the gas to
get to work, and America is deeply in debt to China, but
the President thinks the economy is frat boy at beach
weekend in South Padre?
"All these fancy financial instruments?" What the
fool tarnation is that? This guy went to Harvard?
Kinda makes you wonder what else the President is
saying once the cameras are off.
And way to go, Olson - nice deer in the headlights look
you kept over to the side there.
Nice going, Miya Shay.
I'm
really glad that W cleared all that
stuff up by 'splaining that we've
actually been having a kegger for the
last cuppula years. I never really
understood all those fancy a$$ed
"Derivative Naked Short Mortgage Backed
Securities Gone Wild" videos that
they've been hawking on TV for all these
years. Now that I can put it into
Fratboy terms, the whole thing about
putting food on my family finally makes
sense to me and the twins' Mom.
I'm
praying nightly that ol' George
will help 'splain ranchin' and cow
tippin' to me before he moves off to
Dallas with the little lady. I'm
about to go completely bust on them cows
that I've got out back on our one dime
ranch. Wut with George's spread in
Crawford an' everything, I figger that
he has as great an understanding about
animal husbandry as he does east coast
ecomonomics.
Man, it's
been great having an MBA with his hand
on the tap for all these years.
Another round, George!!
USexpat
P.S. -
Attached is a pic I snapped of W the
last time we were at the ranch.
July 22 - For
those of you from foreign states who are asking, no, I
am not in Dolly's path. She's headed to South
Texas but we're dancing and hoping for a little rain
here.
Besides, she's only a Cat 1 storm. We don't even
get out the umbrellas until it's a Cat 4.
July 21 -
Brian lets us know that there's some real class acts in
the
South Carolina Senate. Please meet Republican
Senator Kevin Bryant, a deacon at the "Concord Community
Church, a New Testament fellowship." He also
spends a week each year at Camp Hope, a "Christian Youth
Camp."
And in his spare time, he embarrasses Jesus.
He just put this on his website.
Anybody who lets this guy within a mile of their kids is
either drunk or insane.
You might head on over to his site and let him how how
proud his church must be of him, what with his dirty
mouth and his hateful attitude.
I dunno know for a fact, but I kinda figure he's the
kind of guy you'd find over Double
Shot Liquor and Guns. Drooling. Or, in
the South Carolina Senate. Same difference.
That's funny, I thought the
difference between Obama and Osama
was that the Republicans are
actually going after Obama.
Silly me.
Marita
I've tried to post the comment below
several times to his web site but,
for some inexplicable reason, it
just won't stay. Wonder why
that is?
" For equal time, I’m waiting
to see you post a “satire” of McCain
cheating on his crippled wife before
finally hooking up with a rich
heiress young enough to be his
daughter, and obtaining a marriage
license to the mistress while still
married to the wife? "
Kathy
Susan-
You know I love me some KMBBB
(hey, it's more entertaining than
cable TV, and cheaper, too), but
I've been thinking...what your
Website really needs is...a
contest. That story about South
Carolina State Senator Kevin Bryant
has inspired me...permit me to
inaugurate the first Kiss My Big
Blue Butt Weenie Of The Month!
Here are the contestants for July:
A.
Ballpark
B. Coney Island
C. Chicago Style
D. Just Plain Weener
Voting ends on Thursday, July 31st, and is
open to regular readers of this Website (and
all those who know a real weenie when they
see one). The winner
(weiner?) gets an autographed CD of The
Ballad of John Cornyn, the song that's
sweeping the nation (and embarrassing
Texas).
The Food
and Drug Administration has found salmonella
bacteria on a jalapeño pepper imported from Mexico
and warned consumers Monday not to eat fresh
jalapeños and products made with fresh jalapeños.
Anybody have any idea what I'm supposed to eat now?
Hell, Honey, I put jalapeños on my oatmeal.
OMG!
I've got jalapeno's growing in my
garden/yard (not much difference around
here). Can salmonella spread form my
jalapeno's to my tomatoes? The
government said to not eat fresh
jalapeno's and they don't get much
fresher than the peppers in the yard,
now do they?
How the hell am I going to make
salsa? And what am I supposed to do with
all that frozen cilantro, now?
What's the Government going to do
about this? I don't feel all that
good...
Damn you, Bush Administration!
It's one thing to invade a sovereign
nation on false evidence, but now you're
so damned incompetent that you can't
even protect our peppers. I mean...You
ever tried to eat a egg without hot
sauce?
July 21 - I'll
be handing out hundred dollar bills to registered
Republicans tomorrow morning on the
Iraq / Pakistan border. See ya there!
Somebody give the man a globe!
Susan your invitation to join you at the
Iraq / Pakistan border sounds wonderful,
but I am afraid I have to decline as my
Bubba will be vacationing in
Czechoslovakia. Of course we will
have to get directions from McCain
as we can't seem to find it on the map.
No wonder the poor thing was captured-he
doesn't know where he is, has been , or
going to be.
WJH
July 21 -
David just emailed and suggested that ---
Which reminds me: They filed reports again, but I
haven't had a chance to scan and upload them yet.
I'll do it later this week.
However, it's interesting to note that AFTER we caught
Andy Meyers using corporate donations to plan his
fundraiser, he decided to reimburse Walter Sass (not the
corporation; Sass is the owner) $447.20 for all the
corporation's help. Cute, huh? So, next time
you need to give a $100,000 fundraiser, I'm sure Walter
will make all the arrangements for a mere $447.20.
Heckuva deal!
Andy Meyers is slicker than snot on a doorknob.
By the way, Andy raised $75,000 for his tax free,
vendor funded, lifestyle supporting campaign funds.
And wait till you see what he spent it on - not even
including the $5,500 to his adult son.
That's $150,000 a year tax free from county vendors
that he can spend however he damn well pleases.
Not bad work when you're already on the government teat
for $120,000 a year. And he doesn't even have an
opponent.
No wonder Republicans don't trust government - Andy
shows them how easy it is to be a slimy politician. He's
nothing more than a teevee evangelist with a government
job on the side. And all you gotta do is convince
your rightwing electorate that you love Jesus and hate
anybody who doesn't look like you.
As they say, Andy Meyers is just a shiver looking for a
back to run up.
Susan,
Give the
guy a break. That shirt cost at least
$5.98 on the Academy Sporting Goods winter
sale rack. The yellow kerchief?
Almost a whole dollar. I don't think
he bought the hat. It came from a
dumpster in Pleak. The bad boy black
jeans? 1952 - the year not the price.
He's not
spending any money on his clothes, that's
for sure.
Hey Zeus
July 20 -
There are many cool things about spending the weekend in
Halletsville and Austin at Democratic
trainings,
and I'll share some pictures with you later this week,
but one of the coolest things is taking a first timer to
eat at Matt's El Rancho Restaurant.
Not only is the food great but you get to order
something called "Bob Armstrong Dip" as a appetizer and
then you
get to explain who Bob Armstrong is. Is he
a
wrestler like Matt or a beloved
Texas politician?
Southern Living goes with the lore passed down to me in
my college days - it's
Texas' Bob Armstrong and it's good.
Bubba, Jr., Middle Bubba, and Baby Bubba all grew up
calling it El Matt's. It's an Austin tradition.
You can eat at Stubbs (or my other favorite, Ironworks,
on Friday, El Matt's on Saturday and then just roll
yourself home on Sunday.
After Sen. John
McCain publicly repudiated his close friend and
adviser Phil Gramm's comments about a "nation of
whiners" and a "mental recession," the two old
political comrades patched up their relationship.
Gramm apologized to
McCain for his remarks that gave Democrats an
opening against the Republican presidential
candidate and provided several days of ammunition
for blogs, cable television and radio talk shows.
McCain told Gramm not to worry about the expected
pitfalls of a campaign surrogate. Gramm will
continue as an adviser and surrogate.
Gramm remained a
steadfast supporter last year when it appeared that
McCain's campaign had collapsed. McCain was a loyal
backer of Gramm's failed 1988 campaign for president
and did not leave until the candidate dropped out of
the race.
Gee, I know married couples who aren't that in love with
each other! Well, and these two guys would be
perfect examples of that.
I'm thrilled to hear that we'll still have
Phil Gramm to kick around. When I told
Mrs. Pete Olson that I wouldn't vote for her
husband because of his association
with Gramm, she said that "Phil Gramm is
one of the greatest economic minds of the
century." -I bet that Phil Gramm told
her that.
July 18 - Oh
no, I'm not putting up with it. I am not.
Pete Olson and Nick Lampson owe us an apology.
If
this kind of paid political consultant oh-so-cute
crapola continues from now until November, I'm sending
Momma over to swat both their rear ends.
I have a question. How come candidates can't
speak for themselves? How come they have to hire
barely post-pubescent testosterone overdosed former
second string college debaters to do their talking for
them? Is this some sort of winkie thing I know
nothing about and aren't within a mile of understanding?
If a young female got this snippy and silly, I'd call
her and tell her to quitit dammit. So, if the
Lookie, Lookie, Ain't I Clever boys plan on keeping this
up, I'm going to tell Momma and there's gonna be some
patootie poppin'. That's a promise.
July 17 -
Now, I live in Texas so I've seen some real bad ideas in
my life. This, however, raises the standard ---
It's in
Schulenburg, just up the road from here, and David
spotted it and stopped to buy me a koozie. Damn, I
have good friends.
Just in case you can't see the sign ---
Now, I know you're wondering who would fill out an
application to work there, considering guns and hooch
generally don't mix all that dandy. Ya know, you
put a little too much testosterone and not enough IQ
with those "double shots" and nothing good is bound to
happen.
Well, maybe this helps. It appears that Double
Shot Liquor and Guns ain't all that big on the guns part
- at least ones with bullets. Now, the problem is
that they don't specify how the guns must be unloaded.
I've unloaded a few guns in my life in a manner not
appropriate to a liquor store parking lot. Gee, I
hope Bubba and Cooter don't shoot up that ice machine
just to unload.
SUGAR LAND, Texas -- An overturned 18-wheeler
that spilled its load of molasses closed a Sugar
Land highway during rush hour on Thursday, KPRC
Local 2 reported.
The accident happened in
the southbound lanes of State Highway 6 at the
Southwest Freeway shortly after 4 p.m.
Sugar Land police said
the big rig tipped when it made a turn, dumping its
load onto the roadway.
Officials said it would
take at least four hours to clean up the accident.
Pancakes, anyone?
July 17 - I've
been pondering on this and I come to believe that Sweet
Jesus doesn't mind you selling tires. Nor does he
mind you advertising. However, I think he really
gets antsy when you use him to sell your tires.
Yep, right down the street from this,
is a more tasteful version of Lord Jesus Cars.
This, I guess, is Riding on Jesus Tires.
I kinda figure that someone who would use Jesus like
that would probably use me, too. I'd head on down
the road and shop at Big Joe's Tires, Hubcaps, and Bait
Supplies if I were you. The more religious
sometime tells me they are, the more I count the
silverware.
July 16 -
Okay, here's the #1 Reason why a Democrat,
Nick
Lampson, will keep the seat formerly occupied by Tom
DeLay:
Tom DeLay is still running for that seat.
(It's a safe site to open while at work. However,
don't get into arguments there because it just
entertains the mentally ill Republicans.)
You know how to pronounce Pete Olson's name backwards?
Tom DeLay.
Yo Susan,
I see a
familiar name in the Delay/Olson story:
"Olson's campaign also spent about
$9,650 during the quarter with
Marathon Strategic Communications,
for media and "grassroots"
consulting. The firm's address is
listed at 3771 Vinecrest Drive in
Dallas. Real estate records list the
owner of the property at that
address as Christopher
Homan. Chris Homan was DeLay's
former campaign manager.
FEC records show Olson's campaign
also owes Marathon another $12,000
for consulting services."
When is
Delay gonna meet his cellmate? I'm
getting impatient.
Lorraine
July 16 -
Ya know, Republican Congressvarmint Jeb Hensarling up in
Dallas seems to be extremely popular with Countrywide
Financial Services. They are
throwing perfectly good American money at him even
though he doesn't have a Democratic opponent this
election.
And he's keeping it, even though Countrywide is ---
well, in a pile of deep dung.
And it appears that
it's gonna get worse.
So, Hensarling moves down the moral scale from whore to
cheap slut.
(Sorry, Momma, there's just no delicate way to put
this. I know you don't like me saying whore, and
that slut is a four-letter word. But, Momma, the
guy's like a two bit Pavement Princess who's gotta sell
himself to feed his power-crack habit. I can't
think of any other way to say it. Except maybe
that he's like Uncle Dewayne who's serving time for
armed robbery of a Tupperware Party. Well, I
should add that Uncle Dewayne isn't blood family, he
just married into it and that he was armed with a
vegetable peeler and that Aunt Clara May peeled him up
one side and down the other when he came in drunk and
robbed her Tupperware Party. [Yeah, yeah, he
robbed a Tupperware Party in his own house. Did I
mention that he was drunk? And stupid.]
Well, Hensarling is kinda like that. Except just
the stupid and desperate part. I don't think he's
drunk. Well, I dunno. No telling what he is,
what with all the recent revelations about Republican
men. Anyway, Momma, I'm sorry about the language
so why don't you just skip over that part?)
July 16 - We
get email from people who read the Wall Street Journal
and still have a sense of humor.
Susan,
Well this editorial
starts with a bang. Conservatism is not
responsible for the collapse of the
Republican party, says Tom Delay, it has
just not had the opportunity to Shock and
Awe™ us cynics into irrelevancy. We really
need to give it a proper chance.
The Republican
Party is in tatters, but
conservatism shares no portion of
the blame. Or so former House
Majority Leader Tom DeLay wrote in a
cheering column a few weeks ago.
The movement's
ideals of "reform" and "justice" did
not fail, intoned this towering
figure of virtue; conservatism just
never got a proper shot in the first
place. "To paraphrase G.K.
Chesterton," Mr. DeLay wrote,
"conservatism has not been tried and
found wanting; it has been found
difficult and left untried."
Did Mr. DeLay's
head rotate on his shoulders, Linda
Blair-like, when he wrote that line?
I don't know. But it sure made this
liberal chuckle. Nothing in this
world Tom DeLay has ever wanted has
been left untried.
Evidently
practitioners of this particular brand
of conservatism decides that when
something or someone displays the
possibility of inconvenient truths, they
immediately circle the wagons (Conserve)
and deny ever doing such deeds or
knowing such people. If only they had
more time they could have shrunk Big
Government down to the three people who
really matter.
Unfortunately for one of them, Mr. Delay
will have to wait until he gets out of
prison before he can see the full bloom
of the movement's promise.
The
column by Tom Delay which inspired the
WSJ editorial can be seen here.
Of course, few outside of Hugh Hewitt's
gravitational field ever was aware of
it.
Brian
My God, are we to
believe that Tom DeLay has read, or
even heard of, Lord Chesterton?
If ever there was a tip-off that
someone had hired a ghost writer,
this is it.
The subject of Chesterton's remarks,
by the way, was "the Christian
ideal," not conservatism.
Andrew
I tried to
go to the link for the Tom Delay
diatribe and got this message.
Maybe I accidently clicked on
something...or maybe they are just EVIL.
Rather than be content with a modicum
of success in his own sphere of influence,
Tom DeLay has plunged into areas with which
he has no real acquaintance, obscured with
aimless rhetoric and distracted the
attention of his former constituency with
eloquent digressions and skilled appeals to
racial and religious prejudice.
My gratitude for the vicarious platform.
Regards,
Dennis
Note from Susan
- for those of you who wasted you time in
high school learning an actual language that
people still speak, or who also don't have
an unnatural interest in the law,
qui tam is a Latin phrase. Now
see, aren't you glad you came here today?
You are now a tad bit smarter.
July 15 - Well,
there one thing you can say about John Cornyn -
that sucker stays bought.
Five grand from the admitted crooks at The Scooter
Store. Fifty more bucks and he has to wear their
logo on his suit pocket.
July 15 - UPDATE:
They realized how incredibly dumb they looked and took
it down. However, I have a copy of it which I will
put back up on my site when I figure out how to do that.
Meanwhile, I can email you a copy if you want it.
Oh sweet
torta carnita on a bolillo, we found the You Tube.
When we saw you last, we were hunting for the famous
local Republican You Tube that would get
"perhaps nationwide"
awareness for Republican values. Apparently,
those values do not include production values.
Oh dear, someone -- and I won't name names here ---
really wants to be discovered as movie star even if she
can't read her lines.
It's goshawful.
And oh so silly.
As one customer emailed after finding and viewing the
video, ---
“Any donkey can kick down a barn . . . it takes
an architect to build one.”
John Healey, philosopher
Well, except it's
jackass and carpenter. Fool me twice, ya can't
get fooled again.
Okay, so I think I've prepared you well enough for
this, so here goes. However, do not be fooled
like I was into thinking it's 10 minutes long.
It's only 6:25 minutes of totally boring nonsense
followed by three minutes of a blank screen and then
a half minute of bad salsa music.
Pay particular attention to John Healey's facial
expression after he delivers his almost clever line
of "Keep your change in your pocket." And
remember this guy is our District Attorney.
Are we
screwed or what?
You know how you know that a Republican You Tube is
really, really goshawful? When a Democrat will
cheerfully put it on her website.
I know each of you will have your personal favorite
silliness from this You Tube, but I'm kinda partial to,
"Turn off the national news and vote!" Yeah, dude,
you do not want to know what the fool tarnation is going
on before you vote.
I stayed till the end to discover that this You Tube
was paid for by something called Republican Compadres.
I checked and there's no such group registered with the
Texas Ethics Commission or the FEC. But, that's no
problem because Healey's the district attorney and he
refuses to investigate or prosecute election code
violations. Hummm -- talk about something in
someone's pocket.
Tell ya what - if they'll agree to do another of these
things, I'll pay for it! And I'll even kick in
some extra if Andy Meyers is in it.
My favorite part of the video is the last 4
minutes or so showing the unnamed Republican
trying to find something with both hands but
no flashlight.
Don A
Susan,
I just watched the video again.
Evidently they were as embarrassed about
making it as I was watching it. The
video ends at about 6:23, then black
screen and silence for 3 minutes in
quiet memory of the party that was going
to rule indefinitely, and the last
minute with some snappy Salsa music. A
nice touch, as I don't know any
Mexican adults outside of Mexico City
who would ever be caught listening
to Salsa.
Brian
Obviously the video editor doesn't speak
Spanish because they didn't edit the
beginning when she stumbled a few times.
Are they the party of English as the
official language or not?
Para
los ninos my big blue butt.
Sally
Susan
Honey - dontcha just love the poor guy
at the end trying to explain that
electing McSame IS change?
These
are the same people who encouraged me to
vote for Bush 3 years ago. They
aren't talented at picking Presidents
either.
Betty
Sue in Misery City
You may not know this, but I am
fluent in restaurant Spanish from
many years of ordering the Acapulco
plate at Ninfa’s. I will be
glad to translate what Mrs. Howard
is saying:
“Hola, my poor ignorant cousins
who are not as beautiful and
talented as I am. We have
an election coming up soon, and
I am here with my beautiful and
talented friends to tell you to
vote for John McCain. He
is qualified to be President of
the United States because he was
shot down in Vietnam and then
elected to the U.S. Senate after
divorcing his sadly disabled
wife and marrying a rich woman
who, by the way, is not half as
talented and beautiful as I am.
His opponent, Barack Obama, is
a very scary man who inspires
people to action with his words.
This is no qualification for
President. You cannot
elect a man who has no
experience blowing up things.
This would be bad for your
children to have an
inexperienced President, so turn
off the national news and vote
for John McCain. Do not
vote for the donkey. By
the way, this is not the donkey
sitting next to me. It’s
just John Healey, the District
Attorney of Fort Bend County.
Please forgive him for not being
able to speak to you in
beautiful Spanish like I just
did, but he is the only elected
official I could get for this
first video in the series of
many videos that we are going to
do over the next few months.
Then, if you still like looking
at me (and why wouldn’t you?), I
will do more videos with beauty
tips and grooming hints.
Well, enough of my future plans.
Let’s see what witty thing Mr.
Healey will say to you.”
Wright N. Justice
Maybe if Ms. Howard had not been
so busy trying to emphasize her
cleavage, she would have been
able to speak properly in at
least one language; no excuse
for the other two boobs, though.
AMI
Hi Susan,
Today I’m driving southbound
on Shepherd and just past 11th
street in Houston, I see a
stooped old man standing on
the side of the road holding
a home made sign. My
first thought is “oh man,
this poor homeless guy
didn’t even bother to walk
to a corner, who is going to
stop in the middle of the
road to give him money?”
Then I get close enough to
read the tattered sign....it
says “Vote John McCain.”
Republicans have hit a new
low. At least they
could give their homeless
ambassadors a nice sign.
Now why would a
homeless person want
Republicans in charge.My
little brain is a little
overloaded with this
thought. All I cancome
up is that more people will
be homeless and maybe he
won't be so lonely.
Cheryl
John Healey on notice -
David
This deserves
National laughter.
I want to see Craig
Ferguson riffing on
this, dangit!
Is it just me, or
does this have the
bona-fide look of a
Middle Eastern
hostage video? Thank
God we don't negotiate
with Turrists.
John
July
14 - Okay, so I thought local Republicans hit a
low with Andy Meyer's distasteful political signs two
years ago.
But, apparently they hit bottom and are still digging.
A press release went out today with this picture and
information. Now, I'm reprinting this exactly as
it was received by the local media.
FORT BEND DISTRICT
ATTORNEY JOHN F. HEALEY APPEARS IN YOU-TUBE WITH
DONKEY AND PRECINCT CHAIRS.
Pictured is Fort Bend
County District Attorney John F. Healey, Fort Bend
County Precinct Chairs Elizabeth A. Howard, Samuel
Reed, and Jenna Le Blanc with D-D the Donkey on the
set of the first of the You-Tube videos.
The taping occured
Tuesday afternoon in David Show Walter's
new office building in Richmond, TX. The purpose of
the You-Tube is to bring awareness to the
community, statewide, and perhaps nationwide on
Republican values.
Yeah, well, their spellcheck broke and they ain't
spending the money to fix it, dammit, because that's
like .... I dunno .... money they can save and take to
heaven with them.
And David
Showalter, who is fond of putting his picture on
billboards, got his name mangled, but hey - there's a
donkey in the show! A real donkey! You know,
the animal that Mary rode to Bethlehem. Think
about that - she didn't ride no damn elephant or Hummer.
So much for Republican values, huh?
And then there's the small omission of the link to the
actual You Tube that will get "perhaps nationwide"
coverage. Oh ... well ... I can pretty much
assure you that's gonna happen. Kinda like
Dean Hrbacek and suddenly skinny.
So, somebody with better hunting skills than I have,
please try to find the actual YouTube they are so proud
about. It apparently has Republican District
Attorney John Healey and a jackass in it - I hope it
includes instructions on how to tell the two apart.
Best we can figure, two years ago they went for hateful
and mean. This year they're going for silly,
silly, oh dear God that's silly.
And who sent this mangled press release?
Elizabeth A. Howard, the woman in the picture.
And, apparently she really, really wants "perhaps
nationwide" coverage.
Yesterday,
McCain economic adviser Carly Fiorina chimed in on
NBC's "Meet the Press," saying, "I think John McCain
has been real clear that Phil Gramm wasn't speaking
for him, and in fact John McCain has said now for
many months that he believes the economy is in a
recession. . . . I don't think Senator Gramm will
any longer be speaking for John McCain."
They met at
cocktail party once, but other than that, uh no - they
don't know each other. Even if they did, they're
just friends and John McCain is not having economic
relations with that economist, Mr. Gramm.
Analysis of
Federal Aviation Administration radar by the Mutual
UFO Network, a group dedicated to the scientific
study of unidentified flying objects, confirms
ground sightings of several unidentified
aircraft
on Jan. 8 flying 70 miles southeast of Fort Worth,
Texas, with one appearing to head toward
President
Bush's
ranch in Crawford.
I think they have plans to use him to destroy other
civilizations, too. I mean, drop him off on Nebula
345H and within 8 years the whole place will have gone
to hell and easy for the moongoons to take over.
Hey, I said it was just a theory. Still, it's
probably just as good as any theory anybody else had.
July 14 - It's a
scientifically proven well-known fact that
Fort Bend
Democrats have their stuff together. Well, now
they have two places to put it!
The first headquarters will be on US 90A - the busiest
street in Rosenberg, the center of the county.
It's a former used car dealership with plenty of space
to put large signs. It even has a couple of out
buildings for storage and fish fries. The Grand
Opening will be the evening of August 9th so reserve
that night for loud Democratic fun!
The second headquarters is the old Charlie's Bar-Be-Que
in Missouri City on Texas Parkway, within walking
distance of an early voting location. Skip Belt
secured this dandy location and he promises a Grand
Opening there by the middle of August. Way to go,
Skip!
We're ready to turn this county blue and will even have
a Pin-The-Tail-On-Tom-DeLay booth at each Grand Opening.
We'll change the sign on the front from Charlie's to
Obama's!
If you live in some foreign state but want to help with
our efforts, get a tee-shirt
or
make a donation! You'll get a personal thank
you note from me!
My Bubba thinks you should make it a
“pin the indictment on Tom DeLay” booth.
Sugar
Lander
July 13 - I
tell people that I live dangerously close to Houston.
There are, however, some benefits to that. It's a
45 minute drive to get there and a sugar high to get
home. El Bolillo bakery on Airline.
That's just the cooler. There's three walls of
baked goods.
Then there's also the cake factory and warm tortillas in
the back.
They give you a large platter, some tongs, and then
turn you loose to hurt yourself in the most wonderful
way.
It's across the street from the Farmer's Market so you
can go buy some squash and carrots to eat --- tomorrow.
July 13 - You
know, I've been wondering for a while - why is it that
Republicans like the Second Amendment a whole bunch but
not the First?
Okay, so they want laws that you can carry a gun into a
public library but you can't carry words into a public
event? Yep - them words are dangerous.
Rachel Maddow did the best commentary on it.
And by the way, I've been waiting for a good time to say
this --- Rachel Maddow is the smartest person on teevee.
Rachel filled in on Countdown this last week
and was the only host I've ever liked as
much as Keith Olbermann. We recently
got XM just so we could listen to Air
American while riding around. Takes
some of the sting out of the $4+ a gallon.
Randi Rhodes show in the afternoon is a
hoot.
Sam
If the
Dems had any imagination they would have
this Denver librarian come on stage just
before Obama's acceptance speech, so she
would get maximum exposure, and she
could show her sign to the nation.
As well as tell what happened to her.
It would be even better if it turns out
she's a grandmother. John McCain
the proud warrior doing battle with a
grandmother.
Gramm both
looks like a snapping turtle and has the
personality
of one. When he ran for president in 1996 and
finished fifth in Iowa, all the profiles written of
him included the line “Even his friends don’t like
him.” Self-righteous and strident, Gramm demonized
his opponents and used bitter, polarizing rhetoric.
During a Senate debate over Social Security, a
member pointed out that the proposal under
consideration would hurt 80-year-old retirees. “Most
people don’t have the luxury of living to be 80
years old,” Gramm scoffed, “so it’s hard for me to
feel sorry for them.” Well, there is that.
Give yourself a treat by reading the whole thing and
then thinking to yourself: THIS is the guy who
would be in charge of our economy? Then think that
out loud, To. Everyone. You. Know.
But to Rep. Lincoln Diaz-Balart (R-FL), the most
important issue facing the U.S. Government is the fact
that a
So what did UBS do between the indictment of Bradley
Birkenfeld in May and the Senate Permanent Subcommittee
on Investigations hearings in July? They did what any
red-blooded American company would do - they gave nearly
We
had never heard of a member of Congress holding a
fundraiser at a Las Vegas burlesque nightclub...
until now. 
Rep.
Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) apparently hasn’t taken
kindly to the U.S. Supreme Court’s insistence that
the judiciary has a right to play a role in
determining the fate of the detainees held at
Guantanamo Bay. 
McCain
Visits German Restaurant In Ohio
I'm
praying nightly that ol' George
will help 'splain ranchin' and cow
tippin' to me before he moves off to
Dallas with the little lady. I'm
about to go completely bust on them cows
that I've got out back on our one dime
ranch. Wut with George's spread in
Crawford an' everything, I figger that
he has as great an understanding about
animal husbandry as he does east coast
ecomonomics. 
Anybody who lets this guy within a mile of their kids is
either drunk or insane. 
However, it's interesting to note that AFTER we caught
Andy Meyers using corporate donations to plan his
fundraiser, he decided to reimburse Walter Sass (not the
corporation; Sass is the owner) $447.20 for all the
corporation's help. Cute, huh? So, next time
you need to give a $100,000 fundraiser, I'm sure Walter
will make all the arrangements for a mere $447.20.
Heckuva deal!
trainings,
and I'll share some pictures with you later this week,
but one of the coolest things is taking a first timer to
eat at Matt's El Rancho Restaurant.
get to explain who Bob Armstrong is. Is he
Well, maybe this helps. It appears that Double
Shot Liquor and Guns ain't all that big on the guns part
- at least ones with bullets. Now, the problem is
that they don't specify how the guns must be unloaded.
I've unloaded a few guns in my life in a manner not
appropriate to a liquor store parking lot. Gee, I
hope Bubba and Cooter don't shoot up that ice machine
just to unload. 
Nick
Lampson, will keep the seat formerly occupied by Tom
DeLay:
When we saw you last, we were hunting for the famous
local Republican You Tube that would get
take
him back home
Then there's also the cake factory and warm tortillas in
the back.
personality
of one. When he ran for president in 1996 and
finished fifth in Iowa, all the profiles written of
him included the line “Even his friends don’t like
him.” Self-righteous and strident, Gramm demonized
his opponents and used bitter, polarizing rhetoric.
During a Senate debate over Social Security, a
member pointed out that the proposal under
consideration would hurt 80-year-old retirees. “Most
people don’t have the luxury of living to be 80
years old,” Gramm scoffed, “so it’s hard for me to
feel sorry for them.” Well, there is that.