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email it to me
Email comments are in the blue boxes.
July 30 -Alfredo
gives us a heads-up on Republican plans.
The country is mired in two separate wars.
The economy looks like it slept in the dishwasher.
The Bush Administration has announced a budget deficit
for this year of nearly $500 billion ($600 billion if
you count the money to pay for the two wars).
But to Rep. Lincoln Diaz-Balart (R-FL), the most
important issue facing the U.S. Government is the fact
Little League All-Star team somehow got permission to go
to Cuba to play baseball.
What's the trouble?
"This meeting was scheduled at the request of
Congressman Lincoln Diaz-Balart," the invite said,
"to discuss the very troubling granting of a
Treasury/OFAC license to a little league team to
travel to Cuba in August. I have included links to
two newspaper articles that provide details on the
The press reports
were about a planned trip by an all-star team of 11-
and 12-year-olds from eastern Vermont and western
New Hampshire to Havana next week to play several
games with Cuban counterparts. Unclear what happened
at the meeting, but, as of yesterday,
representatives of the 14 kids and their coaches
said they had their license.
Mark this as one more reason why the Republican are
going to get beat so badly that their grandchildren will
be born unelectable.
Little League Baseball - the Republican Party's new
July 30 - Its
been a rough three months for
Swiss banking giant
In May, a senior UBS official was indicted for helping
an American real estate developer evade millions of
dollars in taxes by hiding assets
in an undeclared Swiss bank account.
The indictment is
part of a widening federal investigation into
whether UBS, one of the world’s largest money
managers for the wealthy, helped certain clients
evade taxes, and it suggests that American
authorities are stepping up scrutiny of offshore tax
transactions. The inquiry focuses on UBS’s private
bank based in Zurich, which does much of its
business through Liechtenstein.
So what did UBS do between the indictment of Bradley
Birkenfeld in May and the Senate Permanent Subcommittee
on Investigations hearings in July? They did what any
red-blooded American company would do - they gave nearly
$100,000 in PAC contributions to Members of Congress,
contributions to several members of the Texas
Brady For Congress
P.O. Box 8277
The Woodlands, Texas 773878277
06/12/2008 contribution with check # 2017 1000.00
Congressman Joe Barton Committee, The
P.O. Box 1444
Ennis, Texas 751201444
06/12/2008 contribution with check # 2023 5000.00
Neugebauer Congressional Committee
3305 66th Street Suite # 1
Lubbock, Texas 79413
06/12/2008 contribution with check #2021 1500.00
As Lilly Tomlin says, "No matter how cynical I get, I
just can't keep up."
the details on Joe Barton's acceptance
of a donation from UBS. I can't
wait to ask him about it at the Town
Hall meeting on August 4!!!
had never heard of a member of Congress holding a
fundraiser at a Las Vegas burlesque nightclub...
And the culprit is
Rep. Pete Sessions
(R-Tex.). The same Pete Sessions who scolded
Janet Jackson and
for forcing "their liberal values upon the rest of
the country" after their infamous 2004 Super Bowl
But that was then.
Now we learn that
Sessions held a racey (for Washington) fundraiser
for his leadership political action committee last
year at Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce
nightclub in Sin City. A description of the club on
web site, which features a scantily clad dancer
If you want
to check out your particular salon, go to
www.license.state.tx.us and click on "Violations
by License Type." Once there, choose "cosmetology"
under license type and fill out what information you
have, such as the shop owner’s name or city or
county, in the automated form. If your shop has been
cited, you should find information.
First jalapeños, now pedicures. I know it's a
Republican plot. They're taking away things
Democratic women love - one indulgence at a time.
you are missing the point. If big
government the Tx Dept of Licensing and
Regulation(TDLR) didn't inspect nail
salons, we wouldn't have to know about
these problems. Get rid of the
data and the problem goes away....right?
TDLR also regulates combative sports,
auctioneers, talent agents and weather
modification. So evil geniuses must get
a permit before working on their tornado
machines (I'm looking at you
Neil Patrick Harris).
July 28 - We
get wonderful email. You have just got to read
this PDF of Judge Nowlin's decision.
I am a
graduate of THE University of Arkansas
but please don't hold that against me.
The vast majority of my family are UT
grads and at least I am not a product of
OU, as were my parents. My matriculation
was more an accident of birth geography
and my father's employment as anything
else though I will not apologize for
attending the school that gave the poor
state of Arkansas it's only professional
currently coming to accept the fact that
my baby boy will be a UT grad and I can
think of many a fate worse for him than
that. Had he become an Aggie he would
have been dead to me! I am actually very
content with his choice especially since
we are no longer faced with the prospect
of competing against each other in the
Southwest Conference. Now that UA and UT
have gone their separate ways I must
say holidays with family are much easier
for me now.
of this yapping is to explain why my
nasty little Texas cousin saw fit to gig
me with the
Judge Nowlin decision which I am
forwarding to you. She's a Longhorn
and a lawyer and just couldn't leave
this one lie. You've probably have
already seen it but if not enjoy. ( At
the expense of all those still-grieving
pitiful little Razorbacks.)
July 27 - As
most of you know, my favorite color is shiny.
So I love Mi
Tierra in San Antonio. And that's not all I
love about San Antonio --
The street art is art.
Texas, I love yew.
For many years I have
known that I can be distracted by a shiny
object on my desk -- even if it be naught
but a lowly paperclip. If it catches
my eye at just the right moment, everything
else seems to be diminished in importance.
I think the same thing
has happened to Duhbya with Iraq.
Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) apparently hasn’t taken
kindly to the U.S. Supreme Court’s insistence that
the judiciary has a right to play a role in
determining the fate of the detainees held at
If they want to get involved, Gohmert reasons, then
let them get involved. He introduced a bill
yesterday to transport the detainees from the naval
base in Cuba to the grounds of the Supreme Court,
where the Court “will be able to more effectively
micromanage the detainees.”
He doesn’t stop there, apparently equally
unimpressed with the intentions of congressional
Democrats to involve themselves in the detainee
issue. The bill, which Crypter John Bresnahan
spotted in the congressional record last night,
would also transport the detainees to the “Committee
on Armed Services, and in addition to the Committee
on the Judiciary, for a period subsequently to be
determined by the speaker.”
Alfredo is assuming that Texas can still be embarrassed
by its Republican Congressvarmints. Nah, we're
waaaaay past that.
cost between 150-and two hundred bucks to make.
Within a few hours it had racked up roughly 350
Not everyone is a fan. Rick Dovalina with League of
United Latin American Citizens says it's silly, and
"Who are they trying to reach?" Dovalina said.
"Everyone who is going to go out and vote speaks
English. I think it's hilarious."
Deleon-Howard says despite what critics say there
will be sequels. "Oh absolutely!" she smiled.
Awww, they're being modest. That's sweet.
Honey, they got more than 350 hits from my site alone.
Oh please keep it up. Oh please.
I'd see if our favorite home video was
still around, and SURPRISE! It's not!
doing a little searching I see that even
your local Fox Nutwork affiliate had to
get in on the fun.
I wonder at what point Healey & Co.
realized how pitiful they looked? I
suppose this mean no more entertainment
from the Compadres.
FROM SUSAN: Au contraire - read
above - they are doing "Compadres Two:
Return of the Inane."
MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- A 56-year-old
Milwaukee man is accused of shooting his lawn mower
because it wouldn't start.
Keith Walendowski has
been charged with felony possession of a
short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor
disorderly conduct while armed.
According to the
criminal complaint, Walendowski says he was angry
because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start Wednesday
He told police: "I
can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can
shoot it if I want."
A woman who lives at
Walendowski's house reported the incident. She says
he was intoxicated.
face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three
months in prison if convicted.
call to Walendowski's home went unanswered Friday.
You know, I kinda agree with him. It's his damn
lawnmower. If you can't shoot your own lawnmower
in your own yard, what has this world come to?
I shot a tractor once. Darn thing was hacking me
off. It's not something I'd recommend to everyone,
however Bubba and the Boys behaved a lot better for a
couple of weeks after that.
He was just
trying to deliver the coup de grass.
think that bloke’s mistake was shooting
the lawnmower per se, it was the way he
did it. I’m sure that if he’d used a
legal firearm and done it on a range, or
at least not in a suburban backyard, no
one would have cared. It’s just another
example of a basically good idea spoiled
by poor execution.
software, firmware, footware ... What do
you mean, I spelled it wrong?
As Obama Gives Speech In
Berlin, Republican Candidate Says He's Happy To Tour
Oh that's sad. As Obama is standing with crowds in
Europe waving American flags, John McCain is at
Schmidt's Sausage Haus und Restaurant, or as Elizabeth
puts it, "McCain speaks to sleepy crowd at Der
So McCain and the wacko right goad Obama to go to
Europe, and then whine as he does it oh so well.
Obama makes America big again. McCain makes
America sleepy again.
That's it! I'm headed to Zum
Gasthaus in Lake Jackson to show my
support for the schnizel. All of
you quiche eating liberals can kiss my
black, red, and yellow striped butt.
July 25 -
Okay, to those of you who have gotten a much-forwarded
email from "Cpt Jeffrey S Porter" claiming that Barack
Obama ignored the troops,
it's totally untrue.
And this is why I asked you to read the serious
Jonathan Alter column.
today for 'ignoring the troops'. McCain was
all over Obama this morning for not visiting
injured troops in hospital in Germany.
THEN it turns out that the PENTAGON
didn't want him there because they
determined it would look like a campaign
stop and it wasn't right to use the troops
that way. AS IF McCain didn't know that?
McCain is losing it. Obama is looking more
presidential by the day. Must be scary for
the old guy. This isn't even fun to watch
anymore. It's pathetic.
July 25 -
I hate to ask you to think on Friday. I know
that's something I try to avoid at all costs.
Jonathan Alter has written something worth reading
for those of us who blog / nonblog / read blogs.
I'd like to give you a clip of it here, but it's
something you need to read in its entirety or --- well,
that's the point of the whole article.
sure you saw this
comment on the Alter
piece. I have to go with Greenwald.
July 25 - I
gotta give a shout-out to my friends over in Brazoria
County. Five years ago, there were only 6
Democrats in all of Brazoria County and now there's so
many of them that they can't keep 'em all caged!
And they've got a
big old party coming up. Way to go, guys!
I think Republicans all over this state are in for a
major shock. We are fed up, wised up, pumped
up, riled up, fired up and ready to go!
Rep. Duncan Hunter’s
(R-CA) staff recently contacted the U.S. embassy in
Chad to see whether he could visit the country and
distribute food at a refugee camp. He said he wanted
to hunt wildebeest and then distribute the meat to
the refugees. The embassy, however, wasn’t too happy
with this idea — especially because there are
no wildebeest in Chad:
Deb suggests, " I hope a monkey drops a coconut on his
head or a giant bird poops on him." Well, as big
and already full of poop that Duncan's head is, it'd
take a really big bird for anyone to notice.
No wildebeest in Chad? Now that's
July 23 - We
get email about sewage. No, seriously ---
Have you been keeping up with
this effort in San Fran? I
have submitted my bona fides to
represent The Great State of Texas as
Ambassador to the Commission. You
can start by referring to me as "The
Honorable Yippie Ki Yee" from here on
Francisco (July 17th) - Officials at
the Department of Elections
announced today that the citizens'
initiative to rename the Oceanside
Water Pollution Control Plant the
George W. Bush Sewage Plant has
qualified for the November 4th San
Francisco ballot. Voters will decide
on the measure in the general
election alongside the presidential
election, numerous statewide
initiatives, and an expected 20 to
30 local measures.
this turn of events surprisingly
Bush with a sewage plant named in his
Especially fitting given that the man is
full of manure!
This should become a national campaign
in every city?
Tom DeLay’s legal
advisers are ruling out seeking a presidential
pardon for the embattled former House majority
DeLay (R-Texas), who
declined to comment for this article, resigned from
Congress more than two years ago after being
indicted, and remains embroiled in legal proceedings
in Texas and Washington.
Well, duh. Honey, I'm a natural blonde and I
can figure this out. Of course DeLay is saying he
didn't do anything wrong and that he doesn't need a
pardon. So when Bush and the Gov pardon him, he
can say, "Well, I didn't want a pardon, but I guess I
have to take it now. Rats!"
Texas Gov. Rick Perry
(R) would have the power to halt DeLay’s prosecution
on state money-laundering charges.
DeLay’s lawyer in
Texas, Dick DeGuerin, said he would “love for him to
do that” but emphasized that DeLay has not asked for
“Usually a pardon is
for someone who has done something wrong,” said
DeGuerin. “Tom DeLay didn’t do anything wrong.”
Well, that's nice. His lawyer believes him.
July 22 - Who's
drunk and hung over, Mr. President? Oh goodie - Republican Congressional wannabe Pete
Olson in Texas 22 is just handing the race to incumbent
Democrat Nick Lampson on a silver platter.
George W. Bush came to raise money for Olson, and
instead he acted all goofy again.
These comments were made after Bush asked that the
teevee cameras be turned off. He forgot that in
Texas, we hold a man to his words, camera or no camera
The President of the whole entire United Sates of
America said out loud to his Republican buddies in Texas
question about it. Wall Street got drunk ---that's
one of the reasons I asked you to turn off the TV
cameras --- it got drunk and now it's got a
hangover," Bush said. "The question is how long will
it sober up and not try to do all these fancy
People are losing their homes, can't afford the gas to
get to work, and America is deeply in debt to China, but
the President thinks the economy is frat boy at beach
weekend in South Padre?
"All these fancy financial instruments?" What the
fool tarnation is that? This guy went to Harvard?
Kinda makes you wonder what else the President is
saying once the cameras are off.
And way to go, Olson - nice deer in the headlights look
you kept over to the side there.
Nice going, Miya Shay.
really glad that W cleared all that
stuff up by 'splaining that we've
actually been having a kegger for the
last cuppula years. I never really
understood all those fancy a$$ed
"Derivative Naked Short Mortgage Backed
Securities Gone Wild" videos that
they've been hawking on TV for all these
years. Now that I can put it into
Fratboy terms, the whole thing about
putting food on my family finally makes
sense to me and the twins' Mom.
praying nightly that ol' George
will help 'splain ranchin' and cow
tippin' to me before he moves off to
Dallas with the little lady. I'm
about to go completely bust on them cows
that I've got out back on our one dime
ranch. Wut with George's spread in
Crawford an' everything, I figger that
he has as great an understanding about
animal husbandry as he does east coast
been great having an MBA with his hand
on the tap for all these years.
Another round, George!!
Attached is a pic I snapped of W the
last time we were at the ranch.
July 22 - For
those of you from foreign states who are asking, no, I
am not in Dolly's path. She's headed to South
Texas but we're dancing and hoping for a little rain
Besides, she's only a Cat 1 storm. We don't even
get out the umbrellas until it's a Cat 4.
July 21 -
Brian lets us know that there's some real class acts in
South Carolina Senate. Please meet Republican
Senator Kevin Bryant, a deacon at the "Concord Community
Church, a New Testament fellowship." He also
spends a week each year at Camp Hope, a "Christian Youth
And in his spare time, he embarrasses Jesus.
He just put this on his website.
Anybody who lets this guy within a mile of their kids is
either drunk or insane.
You might head on over to his site and let him how how
proud his church must be of him, what with his dirty
mouth and his hateful attitude.
I dunno know for a fact, but I kinda figure he's the
kind of guy you'd find over Double
Shot Liquor and Guns. Drooling. Or, in
the South Carolina Senate. Same difference.
That's funny, I thought the
difference between Obama and Osama
was that the Republicans are
actually going after Obama.
I've tried to post the comment below
several times to his web site but,
for some inexplicable reason, it
just won't stay. Wonder why
" For equal time, I’m waiting
to see you post a “satire” of McCain
cheating on his crippled wife before
finally hooking up with a rich
heiress young enough to be his
daughter, and obtaining a marriage
license to the mistress while still
married to the wife? "
You know I love me some KMBBB
(hey, it's more entertaining than
cable TV, and cheaper, too), but
I've been thinking...what your
Website really needs is...a
contest. That story about South
Carolina State Senator Kevin Bryant
has inspired me...permit me to
inaugurate the first Kiss My Big
Blue Butt Weenie Of The Month!
Here are the contestants for July:
B. Coney Island
C. Chicago Style
D. Just Plain Weener
Voting ends on Thursday, July 31st, and is
open to regular readers of this Website (and
all those who know a real weenie when they
see one). The winner
(weiner?) gets an autographed CD of The
Ballad of John Cornyn, the song that's
sweeping the nation (and embarrassing
and Drug Administration has found salmonella
bacteria on a jalapeño pepper imported from Mexico
and warned consumers Monday not to eat fresh
jalapeños and products made with fresh jalapeños.
Anybody have any idea what I'm supposed to eat now?
Hell, Honey, I put jalapeños on my oatmeal.
I've got jalapeno's growing in my
garden/yard (not much difference around
here). Can salmonella spread form my
jalapeno's to my tomatoes? The
government said to not eat fresh
jalapeno's and they don't get much
fresher than the peppers in the yard,
now do they?
How the hell am I going to make
salsa? And what am I supposed to do with
all that frozen cilantro, now?
What's the Government going to do
about this? I don't feel all that
Damn you, Bush Administration!
It's one thing to invade a sovereign
nation on false evidence, but now you're
so damned incompetent that you can't
even protect our peppers. I mean...You
ever tried to eat a egg without hot
July 21 - I'll
be handing out hundred dollar bills to registered
Republicans tomorrow morning on the
Iraq / Pakistan border. See ya there!
Somebody give the man a globe!
Susan your invitation to join you at the
Iraq / Pakistan border sounds wonderful,
but I am afraid I have to decline as my
Bubba will be vacationing in
Czechoslovakia. Of course we will
have to get directions from McCain
as we can't seem to find it on the map.
No wonder the poor thing was captured-he
doesn't know where he is, has been , or
going to be.
July 21 -
David just emailed and suggested that ---
Which reminds me: They filed reports again, but I
haven't had a chance to scan and upload them yet.
I'll do it later this week.
However, it's interesting to note that AFTER we caught
Andy Meyers using corporate donations to plan his
fundraiser, he decided to reimburse Walter Sass (not the
corporation; Sass is the owner) $447.20 for all the
corporation's help. Cute, huh? So, next time
you need to give a $100,000 fundraiser, I'm sure Walter
will make all the arrangements for a mere $447.20.
Andy Meyers is slicker than snot on a doorknob.
By the way, Andy raised $75,000 for his tax free,
vendor funded, lifestyle supporting campaign funds.
And wait till you see what he spent it on - not even
including the $5,500 to his adult son.
That's $150,000 a year tax free from county vendors
that he can spend however he damn well pleases.
Not bad work when you're already on the government teat
for $120,000 a year. And he doesn't even have an
No wonder Republicans don't trust government - Andy
shows them how easy it is to be a slimy politician. He's
nothing more than a teevee evangelist with a government
job on the side. And all you gotta do is convince
your rightwing electorate that you love Jesus and hate
anybody who doesn't look like you.
As they say, Andy Meyers is just a shiver looking for a
back to run up.
guy a break. That shirt cost at least
$5.98 on the Academy Sporting Goods winter
sale rack. The yellow kerchief?
Almost a whole dollar. I don't think
he bought the hat. It came from a
dumpster in Pleak. The bad boy black
jeans? 1952 - the year not the price.
spending any money on his clothes, that's
July 20 -
There are many cool things about spending the weekend in
Halletsville and Austin at Democratic
and I'll share some pictures with you later this week,
but one of the coolest things is taking a first timer to
eat at Matt's El Rancho Restaurant.
Not only is the food great but you get to order
something called "Bob Armstrong Dip" as a appetizer and
get to explain who Bob Armstrong is. Is he
wrestler like Matt or a beloved
Southern Living goes with the lore passed down to me in
my college days - it's
Texas' Bob Armstrong and it's good.
Bubba, Jr., Middle Bubba, and Baby Bubba all grew up
calling it El Matt's. It's an Austin tradition.
You can eat at Stubbs (or my other favorite, Ironworks,
on Friday, El Matt's on Saturday and then just roll
yourself home on Sunday.
After Sen. John
McCain publicly repudiated his close friend and
adviser Phil Gramm's comments about a "nation of
whiners" and a "mental recession," the two old
political comrades patched up their relationship.
Gramm apologized to
McCain for his remarks that gave Democrats an
opening against the Republican presidential
candidate and provided several days of ammunition
for blogs, cable television and radio talk shows.
McCain told Gramm not to worry about the expected
pitfalls of a campaign surrogate. Gramm will
continue as an adviser and surrogate.
Gramm remained a
steadfast supporter last year when it appeared that
McCain's campaign had collapsed. McCain was a loyal
backer of Gramm's failed 1988 campaign for president
and did not leave until the candidate dropped out of
Gee, I know married couples who aren't that in love with
each other! Well, and these two guys would be
perfect examples of that.
I'm thrilled to hear that we'll still have
Phil Gramm to kick around. When I told
Mrs. Pete Olson that I wouldn't vote for her
husband because of his association
with Gramm, she said that "Phil Gramm is
one of the greatest economic minds of the
century." -I bet that Phil Gramm told
July 18 - Oh
no, I'm not putting up with it. I am not.
Pete Olson and Nick Lampson owe us an apology.
this kind of paid political consultant oh-so-cute
crapola continues from now until November, I'm sending
Momma over to swat both their rear ends.
I have a question. How come candidates can't
speak for themselves? How come they have to hire
barely post-pubescent testosterone overdosed former
second string college debaters to do their talking for
them? Is this some sort of winkie thing I know
nothing about and aren't within a mile of understanding?
If a young female got this snippy and silly, I'd call
her and tell her to quitit dammit. So, if the
Lookie, Lookie, Ain't I Clever boys plan on keeping this
up, I'm going to tell Momma and there's gonna be some
patootie poppin'. That's a promise.
July 17 -
Now, I live in Texas so I've seen some real bad ideas in
my life. This, however, raises the standard ---
Schulenburg, just up the road from here, and David
spotted it and stopped to buy me a koozie. Damn, I
have good friends.
Just in case you can't see the sign ---
Now, I know you're wondering who would fill out an
application to work there, considering guns and hooch
generally don't mix all that dandy. Ya know, you
put a little too much testosterone and not enough IQ
with those "double shots" and nothing good is bound to
Well, maybe this helps. It appears that Double
Shot Liquor and Guns ain't all that big on the guns part
- at least ones with bullets. Now, the problem is
that they don't specify how the guns must be unloaded.
I've unloaded a few guns in my life in a manner not
appropriate to a liquor store parking lot. Gee, I
hope Bubba and Cooter don't shoot up that ice machine
just to unload.
SUGAR LAND, Texas -- An overturned 18-wheeler
that spilled its load of molasses closed a Sugar
Land highway during rush hour on Thursday, KPRC
Local 2 reported.
The accident happened in
the southbound lanes of State Highway 6 at the
Southwest Freeway shortly after 4 p.m.
Sugar Land police said
the big rig tipped when it made a turn, dumping its
load onto the roadway.
Officials said it would
take at least four hours to clean up the accident.
July 17 - I've
been pondering on this and I come to believe that Sweet
Jesus doesn't mind you selling tires. Nor does he
mind you advertising. However, I think he really
gets antsy when you use him to sell your tires.
Yep, right down the street from this,
is a more tasteful version of Lord Jesus Cars.
This, I guess, is Riding on Jesus Tires.
I kinda figure that someone who would use Jesus like
that would probably use me, too. I'd head on down
the road and shop at Big Joe's Tires, Hubcaps, and Bait
Supplies if I were you. The more religious
sometime tells me they are, the more I count the
July 16 -
Okay, here's the #1 Reason why a Democrat,
Lampson, will keep the seat formerly occupied by Tom
Tom DeLay is still running for that seat.
(It's a safe site to open while at work. However,
don't get into arguments there because it just
entertains the mentally ill Republicans.)
You know how to pronounce Pete Olson's name backwards?
I see a
familiar name in the Delay/Olson story:
"Olson's campaign also spent about
$9,650 during the quarter with
Marathon Strategic Communications,
for media and "grassroots"
consulting. The firm's address is
listed at 3771 Vinecrest Drive in
Dallas. Real estate records list the
owner of the property at that
address as Christopher
Homan. Chris Homan was DeLay's
former campaign manager.
FEC records show Olson's campaign
also owes Marathon another $12,000
for consulting services."
Delay gonna meet his cellmate? I'm
July 16 -
Ya know, Republican Congressvarmint Jeb Hensarling up in
Dallas seems to be extremely popular with Countrywide
Financial Services. They are
throwing perfectly good American money at him even
though he doesn't have a Democratic opponent this
And he's keeping it, even though Countrywide is ---
well, in a pile of deep dung.
And it appears that
it's gonna get worse.
So, Hensarling moves down the moral scale from whore to
(Sorry, Momma, there's just no delicate way to put
this. I know you don't like me saying whore, and
that slut is a four-letter word. But, Momma, the
guy's like a two bit Pavement Princess who's gotta sell
himself to feed his power-crack habit. I can't
think of any other way to say it. Except maybe
that he's like Uncle Dewayne who's serving time for
armed robbery of a Tupperware Party. Well, I
should add that Uncle Dewayne isn't blood family, he
just married into it and that he was armed with a
vegetable peeler and that Aunt Clara May peeled him up
one side and down the other when he came in drunk and
robbed her Tupperware Party. [Yeah, yeah, he
robbed a Tupperware Party in his own house. Did I
mention that he was drunk? And stupid.]
Well, Hensarling is kinda like that. Except just
the stupid and desperate part. I don't think he's
drunk. Well, I dunno. No telling what he is,
what with all the recent revelations about Republican
men. Anyway, Momma, I'm sorry about the language
so why don't you just skip over that part?)
July 16 - We
get email from people who read the Wall Street Journal
and still have a sense of humor.
Well this editorial
starts with a bang. Conservatism is not
responsible for the collapse of the
Republican party, says Tom Delay, it has
just not had the opportunity to Shock and
Awe™ us cynics into irrelevancy. We really
need to give it a proper chance.
Party is in tatters, but
conservatism shares no portion of
the blame. Or so former House
Majority Leader Tom DeLay wrote in a
cheering column a few weeks ago.
ideals of "reform" and "justice" did
not fail, intoned this towering
figure of virtue; conservatism just
never got a proper shot in the first
place. "To paraphrase G.K.
Chesterton," Mr. DeLay wrote,
"conservatism has not been tried and
found wanting; it has been found
difficult and left untried."
Did Mr. DeLay's
head rotate on his shoulders, Linda
Blair-like, when he wrote that line?
I don't know. But it sure made this
liberal chuckle. Nothing in this
world Tom DeLay has ever wanted has
been left untried.
practitioners of this particular brand
of conservatism decides that when
something or someone displays the
possibility of inconvenient truths, they
immediately circle the wagons (Conserve)
and deny ever doing such deeds or
knowing such people. If only they had
more time they could have shrunk Big
Government down to the three people who
Unfortunately for one of them, Mr. Delay
will have to wait until he gets out of
prison before he can see the full bloom
of the movement's promise.
column by Tom Delay which inspired the
WSJ editorial can be seen here.
Of course, few outside of Hugh Hewitt's
gravitational field ever was aware of
My God, are we to
believe that Tom DeLay has read, or
even heard of, Lord Chesterton?
If ever there was a tip-off that
someone had hired a ghost writer,
this is it.
The subject of Chesterton's remarks,
by the way, was "the Christian
ideal," not conservatism.
I tried to
go to the link for the Tom Delay
diatribe and got this message.
Maybe I accidently clicked on
something...or maybe they are just EVIL.
Rather than be content with a modicum
of success in his own sphere of influence,
Tom DeLay has plunged into areas with which
he has no real acquaintance, obscured with
aimless rhetoric and distracted the
attention of his former constituency with
eloquent digressions and skilled appeals to
racial and religious prejudice.
My gratitude for the vicarious platform.
Note from Susan
- for those of you who wasted you time in
high school learning an actual language that
people still speak, or who also don't have
an unnatural interest in the law,
qui tam is a Latin phrase. Now
see, aren't you glad you came here today?
You are now a tad bit smarter.
July 15 - Well,
there one thing you can say about John Cornyn -
that sucker stays bought.
Five grand from the admitted crooks at The Scooter
Store. Fifty more bucks and he has to wear their
logo on his suit pocket.
July 15 - UPDATE:
They realized how incredibly dumb they looked and took
it down. However, I have a copy of it which I will
put back up on my site when I figure out how to do that.
Meanwhile, I can email you a copy if you want it.
torta carnita on a bolillo, we found the You Tube.
When we saw you last, we were hunting for the famous
local Republican You Tube that would get
awareness for Republican values. Apparently,
those values do not include production values.
Oh dear, someone -- and I won't name names here ---
really wants to be discovered as movie star even if she
can't read her lines.
And oh so silly.
As one customer emailed after finding and viewing the
“Any donkey can kick down a barn . . . it takes
an architect to build one.”
John Healey, philosopher
Well, except it's
jackass and carpenter. Fool me twice, ya can't
get fooled again.
Okay, so I think I've prepared you well enough for
this, so here goes. However, do not be fooled
like I was into thinking it's 10 minutes long.
It's only 6:25 minutes of totally boring nonsense
followed by three minutes of a blank screen and then
a half minute of bad salsa music.
Pay particular attention to John Healey's facial
expression after he delivers his almost clever line
of "Keep your change in your pocket." And
remember this guy is our District Attorney.
screwed or what?
You know how you know that a Republican You Tube is
really, really goshawful? When a Democrat will
cheerfully put it on her website.
I know each of you will have your personal favorite
silliness from this You Tube, but I'm kinda partial to,
"Turn off the national news and vote!" Yeah, dude,
you do not want to know what the fool tarnation is going
on before you vote.
I stayed till the end to discover that this You Tube
was paid for by something called Republican Compadres.
I checked and there's no such group registered with the
Texas Ethics Commission or the FEC. But, that's no
problem because Healey's the district attorney and he
refuses to investigate or prosecute election code
violations. Hummm -- talk about something in
Tell ya what - if they'll agree to do another of these
things, I'll pay for it! And I'll even kick in
some extra if Andy Meyers is in it.
My favorite part of the video is the last 4
minutes or so showing the unnamed Republican
trying to find something with both hands but
I just watched the video again.
Evidently they were as embarrassed about
making it as I was watching it. The
video ends at about 6:23, then black
screen and silence for 3 minutes in
quiet memory of the party that was going
to rule indefinitely, and the last
minute with some snappy Salsa music. A
nice touch, as I don't know any
Mexican adults outside of Mexico City
who would ever be caught listening
Obviously the video editor doesn't speak
Spanish because they didn't edit the
beginning when she stumbled a few times.
Are they the party of English as the
official language or not?
los ninos my big blue butt.
Honey - dontcha just love the poor guy
at the end trying to explain that
electing McSame IS change?
are the same people who encouraged me to
vote for Bush 3 years ago. They
aren't talented at picking Presidents
Sue in Misery City
You may not know this, but I am
fluent in restaurant Spanish from
many years of ordering the Acapulco
plate at Ninfa’s. I will be
glad to translate what Mrs. Howard
“Hola, my poor ignorant cousins
who are not as beautiful and
talented as I am. We have
an election coming up soon, and
I am here with my beautiful and
talented friends to tell you to
vote for John McCain. He
is qualified to be President of
the United States because he was
shot down in Vietnam and then
elected to the U.S. Senate after
divorcing his sadly disabled
wife and marrying a rich woman
who, by the way, is not half as
talented and beautiful as I am.
His opponent, Barack Obama, is
a very scary man who inspires
people to action with his words.
This is no qualification for
President. You cannot
elect a man who has no
experience blowing up things.
This would be bad for your
children to have an
inexperienced President, so turn
off the national news and vote
for John McCain. Do not
vote for the donkey. By
the way, this is not the donkey
sitting next to me. It’s
just John Healey, the District
Attorney of Fort Bend County.
Please forgive him for not being
able to speak to you in
beautiful Spanish like I just
did, but he is the only elected
official I could get for this
first video in the series of
many videos that we are going to
do over the next few months.
Then, if you still like looking
at me (and why wouldn’t you?), I
will do more videos with beauty
tips and grooming hints.
Well, enough of my future plans.
Let’s see what witty thing Mr.
Healey will say to you.”
Wright N. Justice
Maybe if Ms. Howard had not been
so busy trying to emphasize her
cleavage, she would have been
able to speak properly in at
least one language; no excuse
for the other two boobs, though.
Today I’m driving southbound
on Shepherd and just past 11th
street in Houston, I see a
stooped old man standing on
the side of the road holding
a home made sign. My
first thought is “oh man,
this poor homeless guy
didn’t even bother to walk
to a corner, who is going to
stop in the middle of the
road to give him money?”
Then I get close enough to
read the tattered sign....it
says “Vote John McCain.”
Republicans have hit a new
low. At least they
could give their homeless
ambassadors a nice sign.
Now why would a
homeless person want
Republicans in charge.My
little brain is a little
overloaded with this
thought. All I cancome
up is that more people will
be homeless and maybe he
won't be so lonely.
John Healey on notice -
I want to see Craig
Ferguson riffing on
Is it just me, or
does this have the
bona-fide look of a
hostage video? Thank
God we don't negotiate
14 - Okay, so I thought local Republicans hit a
low with Andy Meyer's distasteful political signs two
But, apparently they hit bottom and are still digging.
A press release went out today with this picture and
information. Now, I'm reprinting this exactly as
it was received by the local media.
FORT BEND DISTRICT
ATTORNEY JOHN F. HEALEY APPEARS IN YOU-TUBE WITH
DONKEY AND PRECINCT CHAIRS.
Pictured is Fort Bend
County District Attorney John F. Healey, Fort Bend
County Precinct Chairs Elizabeth A. Howard, Samuel
Reed, and Jenna Le Blanc with D-D the Donkey on the
set of the first of the You-Tube videos.
The taping occured
Tuesday afternoon in David Show Walter's
new office building in Richmond, TX. The purpose of
the You-Tube is to bring awareness to the
community, statewide, and perhaps nationwide on
Yeah, well, their spellcheck broke and they ain't
spending the money to fix it, dammit, because that's
like .... I dunno .... money they can save and take to
heaven with them.
Showalter, who is fond of putting his picture on
billboards, got his name mangled, but hey - there's a
donkey in the show! A real donkey! You know,
the animal that Mary rode to Bethlehem. Think
about that - she didn't ride no damn elephant or Hummer.
So much for Republican values, huh?
And then there's the small omission of the link to the
actual You Tube that will get "perhaps nationwide"
coverage. Oh ... well ... I can pretty much
assure you that's gonna happen. Kinda like
Dean Hrbacek and suddenly skinny.
So, somebody with better hunting skills than I have,
please try to find the actual YouTube they are so proud
about. It apparently has Republican District
Attorney John Healey and a jackass in it - I hope it
includes instructions on how to tell the two apart.
Best we can figure, two years ago they went for hateful
and mean. This year they're going for silly,
silly, oh dear God that's silly.
And who sent this mangled press release?
Elizabeth A. Howard, the woman in the picture.
And, apparently she really, really wants "perhaps
McCain economic adviser Carly Fiorina chimed in on
NBC's "Meet the Press," saying, "I think John McCain
has been real clear that Phil Gramm wasn't speaking
for him, and in fact John McCain has said now for
many months that he believes the economy is in a
recession. . . . I don't think Senator Gramm will
any longer be speaking for John McCain."
They met at
cocktail party once, but other than that, uh no - they
don't know each other. Even if they did, they're
just friends and John McCain is not having economic
relations with that economist, Mr. Gramm.
Federal Aviation Administration radar by the Mutual
UFO Network, a group dedicated to the scientific
study of unidentified flying objects, confirms
ground sightings of several unidentified
on Jan. 8 flying 70 miles southeast of Fort Worth,
Texas, with one appearing to head toward
ranch in Crawford.
I think they have plans to use him to destroy other
civilizations, too. I mean, drop him off on Nebula
345H and within 8 years the whole place will have gone
to hell and easy for the moongoons to take over.
Hey, I said it was just a theory. Still, it's
probably just as good as any theory anybody else had.
July 14 - It's a
scientifically proven well-known fact that
Democrats have their stuff together. Well, now
they have two places to put it!
The first headquarters will be on US 90A - the busiest
street in Rosenberg, the center of the county.
It's a former used car dealership with plenty of space
to put large signs. It even has a couple of out
buildings for storage and fish fries. The Grand
Opening will be the evening of August 9th so reserve
that night for loud Democratic fun!
The second headquarters is the old Charlie's Bar-Be-Que
in Missouri City on Texas Parkway, within walking
distance of an early voting location. Skip Belt
secured this dandy location and he promises a Grand
Opening there by the middle of August. Way to go,
We're ready to turn this county blue and will even have
a Pin-The-Tail-On-Tom-DeLay booth at each Grand Opening.
We'll change the sign on the front from Charlie's to
If you live in some foreign state but want to help with
our efforts, get a tee-shirt
make a donation! You'll get a personal thank
you note from me!
My Bubba thinks you should make it a
“pin the indictment on Tom DeLay” booth.
July 13 - I
tell people that I live dangerously close to Houston.
There are, however, some benefits to that. It's a
45 minute drive to get there and a sugar high to get
home. El Bolillo bakery on Airline.
That's just the cooler. There's three walls of
Then there's also the cake factory and warm tortillas in
They give you a large platter, some tongs, and then
turn you loose to hurt yourself in the most wonderful
It's across the street from the Farmer's Market so you
can go buy some squash and carrots to eat --- tomorrow.
July 13 - You
know, I've been wondering for a while - why is it that
Republicans like the Second Amendment a whole bunch but
not the First?
Okay, so they want laws that you can carry a gun into a
public library but you can't carry words into a public
event? Yep - them words are dangerous.
Rachel Maddow did the best commentary on it.
And by the way, I've been waiting for a good time to say
this --- Rachel Maddow is the smartest person on teevee.
Rachel filled in on Countdown this last week
and was the only host I've ever liked as
much as Keith Olbermann. We recently
got XM just so we could listen to Air
American while riding around. Takes
some of the sting out of the $4+ a gallon.
Randi Rhodes show in the afternoon is a
Dems had any imagination they would have
this Denver librarian come on stage just
before Obama's acceptance speech, so she
would get maximum exposure, and she
could show her sign to the nation.
As well as tell what happened to her.
It would be even better if it turns out
she's a grandmother. John McCain
the proud warrior doing battle with a
looks like a snapping turtle and has the
of one. When he ran for president in 1996 and
finished fifth in Iowa, all the profiles written of
him included the line “Even his friends don’t like
him.” Self-righteous and strident, Gramm demonized
his opponents and used bitter, polarizing rhetoric.
During a Senate debate over Social Security, a
member pointed out that the proposal under
consideration would hurt 80-year-old retirees. “Most
people don’t have the luxury of living to be 80
years old,” Gramm scoffed, “so it’s hard for me to
feel sorry for them.” Well, there is that.
Give yourself a treat by reading the whole thing and
then thinking to yourself: THIS is the guy who
would be in charge of our economy? Then think that
out loud, To. Everyone. You. Know.
My former-Republican hubby used to
revere Phil Gramm, mostly because the
old boy once taught at A&M. (Yes,
Susan, I’m powerless…my kids are 4th-generation
maroon Kool-Aid drinkers.) But
since he’s been on the Obama Bandwagon,
he’s seen a side of the GOP he didn’t
know existed. I made a point of
showing him your blog today, and I’m
hoping things like Phil Gramm’s “can’t
feel sorry for the 80-year-olds” will
make Dear Hubby a PERMANENTLY former
Now if you and Molly could just come up
with something REALLY stupid that George
Bush the First once said…
John McCain ( or one of his
uninteresting surrogates) did a
rapid defenestration of
Phil Gramm today. Maybe future
advisers will keep such thoughts
hidden so the mantle of
Compassionate Conservatism™ won't be
that was Bush's line? Sorry, I have
a hard time telling the difference.
presidential candidates (and independent political
groups hoping to make a splash in the 2008
campaigns): The referees are back on the field.
This morning, a full six members of the Federal
Election Commission took their seats and announced
they were back after a strange, seven-month hiatus.
In their first official action, the commission
elected a new chairman, Donald McGahn, who
previously served as the lead lawyer for the House
Republicans' campaign committee and handled legal
work for former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay
Republicans now have their own guy heading up the FEC.
Not only that, but he's Tom DeLay's lawyer,
If that doesn't scare you enough, try McGahn's first
statement as head of the FEC ---
After taking the gavel, McGahn made clear the FEC
will not be on the sidelines any longer. "We don't
have a calendar yet," he said, "but be assured, it's
going to be brisk and ambitious."
Cripes. Why not just let Karl Rove be in charge?
Well Susan, you've done it again.
The FEC post scared me enough to go work
for a man running for State Legislature.
and knocked on doors for my Senate
seat-a really good progressive man (he
beat the incumbent, yea!) who has no
opposition in the general. So I
feel quite righteous, quite obviously.
But.............i better keep going,
no rest for the righteous (sounds like
something Tom DeLay might say)
better stand up and say what a huge
ELITIST Mccain and Gramm are.
hmmmmmm think I'll go call his office
July 10 -
One of the really cool things about being me, and there
are plenty of cool things about being me which I will
gladly enumerate for you at some point, is that people
tell you all the good rumors.
Like this one. Thank you, Steve.
spokesperson for Alabama Governor Bob Riley denied
that Attorney General Troy King is preparing to
resign in the wake of a massive rumor campaign that
has yet to be fully confirmed. The word is,
according to multiple sources in Montgomery and
elsewhere, that King was recently caught by his wife
in a gay affair with a male aide and banished from
According to Tara
Hutchison in the executive office of the governor
they have heard of no plans in the works for King’s
resignation. She said she had not heard that he had
been kicked out of his home because of a gay affair.
Alabama Attorney General Troy King replaces Bill
Pryor, whose presidential appointment to the 11th
Circuit Court of Appeals was rocked with controversy
because of his openly conservative views on
homosexuality and abortion.
As a law student at
the University from 1990 to 1993, King touted
similar views, writing frequent editorials in The
Crimson White on issues such as homosexuality,
affirmative action and abortion.
homosexuality the downfall of society in the Feb.
21, 1992, CW.
On the other hand, it's Alabama. We should be
thrilled there weren't farm animals involved.
Another one bites the dust? the big one?
Troy King may be wrong about homosexuality
being the downfall of society, but I have a
feeling that it will be the downfall of
his political career and marriage. Yet
another repressed, bolted down
Republican self-immolates. Is there no end
to these stories?
July 10 - Look,
I'm going to keep this simple.
Two Texas rich white Republican boys - Bush and Cheney
- got us into this economic mess. And McSame
thinks another Texas rich Republican boy - Phil Gramm -
can get us out?
It don't take a triple digit IQ to know that
Phil Gramm is Dick Cheney's twin brother.
Do not trust rich Texas Republican boys with your
money. Do not.
sort of become a nation of whiners," he said. "You
just hear this constant whining, complaining about a
loss of competitiveness, America in decline" despite
a major export boom that is the primary reason that
growth continues in the economy, he said.
We've got a gazillion dollar national debt, gas is four
buck a gallon, people are losing their homes, prices are
skyrocketing, our infrastructure is failing, we can't
respond to national emergencies ---- picky, picky,
picky, whine, whine whine.
So, what Gramm is saying is that this is the best we
can expect when Republicans are in office? We
should just quit whining and suck it up?
Hey Gramm - suck this, buddy. I ain't voting for
none of you and then we'll see who's whining when they
have to work for living.
I've got one lil' o' bitty word for folks to
think of when they hear (Land) Phil
This guy is so anti-regulation, he'd like to
do away with traffic lights.
I loved the headline in the Chronicle
Grace Covenant wanting to erect a 200
foot cross on both ends of I-45.
I'm hoping they get to do it and that
some enterprising owner of a
"gentleman's club" on the gulf freeway
follows their lead and puts up a 200
foot stripper. Think of the
possibilities: the tassles could
be used to determine wind direction and
speed; strategically placed red lights
could be used to highlight certain
features. It would almost make it
worthwhile to go to Pasadena.
I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I think
that when Sweet Jesus comes back, the
last darned thing he'll want to see is a
big ole cross. I mean, I
don't think that's going to bring back
good memories for him.
Susan, when I clicked on "things he
liked" I was SURE it would be a picture
of a cool glass of Riesling with a nice
filet of sole and a loaf of San
Francisco Sourdough...that's what I'm
your reply to Sam: I said the same
thing first time I saw the three
HUGE Crosses at the entrance of a
mega-church on the eastside of Red
Stick, Loozybanana. Bad memories, in
deed. Makes one really
wonder, WWJD then?!
July 9 -
Well, I see that Texas Republican Senator John
flip-flopped on the Medicare bill after the AMA and
three-quarters of the State of Texas went after him with
intent to bar-be-que.
The Medicare vote
came down to the wire in dramatic fashion as 18
Republicans broke with their party to pass the
Sighs of relief could
be heard on the Democratic side as lawmakers,
beginning with Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Texas),
chairwoman of the Republican Policy Committee,
joined with Democrats to pass the bill by a 69-30
Hutchison’s Texas colleague, Sen. John Cornyn (R),
who was on the receiving end of an American Medical
Association ad blitz slamming his pre-recess
position, also ended up voting for the bill.
Throughout the day,
the pressure was on several GOP lawmakers to side
with Democrats on the measure. Vice President Cheney
came early to the weekly Republican luncheon, where
the Medicare vote was discussed.
Our friend Alfredo
suggests that the story should have been titled, "Cheney
Lobbies Senate Republicans, Fails Miserably"
It's kinda pathetic that you have to run attack ads
against your Senator to make him do the right thing.
July 9 - We get
very funny email from people in foreign states ---
Appreciate your site, access it first thing
each morning from my dyspeptic perch up here
in the Pacific Northwest. So enjoy
your evisceration of evangelical
christianity, especially thieves like delay,
hagee and debush.
We were eating lunch one day on a job site
when my old bricklayer buddy, talking of our
childhood Sunday School experiences in
conservative, fundamentalist churches.
He dissected the word "fundamentalist" for
us: "Now the DUH I understand.
It's the FUN and the MENTAL that escapes
Keep shining your disinfectant light on the
self-righteous bastards. You've got
grateful fan far afield!
July 8 -
Well, as Jim
Hightower says, "There ain't nothing in the middle
of the road except yellow stripes and dead armadillos."
And Nick Lampson.
Roll Call (subscription only) did an article on
Lampson. I can't print it all here, but I'll give
you a little taste.
Texas - Mark Truskey, a self-described conservative,
likes Rep. Nick Lampson (D). Truskey thinks the
Congressman is a moderate who is focused on the
right agenda - and he likes what the Democrat has to
say on several issues.
But Truskey is still not going to vote for Lampson
in November. Despite exhibiting some personal
affection for the Congressman, Truskey plans to vote
for ex- Senate aide Pete Olson, the Republican
nominee in the solidly conservative, suburban
Houston 22nd district - even though he admits to
knowing very little about Olson at this point.
There's an old saying that goes like this -- if you give
Republicans a choice between a Republican and a Democrat
who claims to act like a Republican, they'll pick the
Republican every damn time. Apparently, there's
some merit to that, because Mr. Truskey continues ---
"Right now, if I look at Lampson, and I look at what
little I know about Olson, I think they have a lot
of similarities to them," he said. "And all things
being equal on the key issues, I would stick to the
And Nick's "middle of the road" approach of not taking a
stand doesn't seem to be working.
When faced with politically challenging questions,
Lampson often steered his answers into a related
topic on which partisans on both sides of the aisle
might agree, erring on the side of making the
conservatives in the crowd feel at home.
Look, I hate to give the guy a hard time, but for
Lampson the dreaded "L Word" isn't "Liberal." It's
"Leadership." He avoids leading like it's a
Lampson needs to quit dilly-dallying around. Tell
people why we need change. Lead them to doing the
right thing for this country and for their fellow
If you call yourself a Democrat, be a Democrat, dammit.
If you want to be an Independent, run as an Independent.
Cripes. I heard a Democrat say the other day,
"Well, at least Lampson is better than Tom DeLay."
Yeah, well, so is Bozo the Clown, but I don't want him
for a Congresscritter either.
Come on, Lampson, lead. I know it's a 4-letter
word, but it's a good one. I'm not asking you to
win a Profiles in Courage award; I'm just asking you to
stand for something instead of falling for everything.
Driver (R-Garland) sees licensed handgun carriers in
college classrooms as a deterrent to school
shootings such as the 2007 Virginia Tech massacre,
in which 32 people died and many others were
wounded. Driver heads the Texas House committee that
considers gun bills.
Okay, so a gun fight breaks out on a college campus and
the police arrive. How are they supposed to know
who shooter to shoot? Are they supposed to look
for white cowboy hats or something?
Cripes! Is Texas the birthplace of bad ideas or
Frat boys gathered 'round a keg.
And they're packing heat. Now that
should send a chill down a parent's
As I recall, there was a
once-popular saying that went something
like this: "Kill them all and let God
sort them out."
Susan, I don’t know which is
scarier: Joe Driver’s ideas on
college kids with handguns, or Don
A.’s idea about letting God sort ‘em
out after they’ve all killed each
other. The difference, I
suppose, is that Don is probably
just joking, whereas Joe Driver is
On another topic: Do you mean
to tell me that there’s yet ANOTHER
DeLay out there? Please,
please, PLEASE tell me that Randy
DeLay is totally unrelated to Tom.
I don’t think my heart could take it
if ol’ Tom had kin doing his dirty
work for him.
Dear Kathy Grace -- Randy DeLay is
Tom DeLay's brother. He's
gotten pretty darned rich making
people pay him for being Tom's
Please let Kathy Grace
know that I was just channeling what
I expected Joe Driver might say if
someone asked him how the police
were supposed to tell the good
shooters from the bad one(s).
July 8 - Well,
Campers, here's how it's done.
Let's say you're
Republican Don Young from Alaska and let's say
you're in a tight race for re-election. First you
send an email to your favorite lobbyist, let's say ...
oh, I dunno, .... Randy DeLay?, and
mention that you need ... oh, I dunno, money? ...
and lots of it.
Don Young to Randy DeLay: contribute to my campaign or
your clients are up the creek without a paddle or an
chance in holy heck of getting their bills through
Lobbyist money - it puts the Capital D in democracy.
July 7 - Texas
John Cornyn is so slick he can't keep his socks up.
It's handy to have a leadership PAC like Cornyn does so
when the CEO of a company that's reached a multi-million
settlement with the Justice Department for Medicare
fraud wants to give you a hefty contribution, you have a
place to hide it.
I suspect that Cornyn figured nobody would check his
leadership PAC rather than his campaign PAC, but
sometimes bad things happen to bad people, and I like to
play my part in that.
820 Harrison Rd.
New Braunfels, Texas 78132 Scooter Store, Inc.
06/05/2008 4600.00 CEO 4600.00
In addition to the $4
million cash payment, the San Antonio wheelchair
supplier will give up the right to reimbursement for
most of its pending Medicare claims. Such claims
total more than $43 million, but Medicare estimates
that the payments The SCOOTER Store could actually
expect to have received based on those claims is
approximately $13 million. Medicare commonly
reimburses less than the face value of claims
presented to the agency for payment.
The cash component of
the settlement package includes a $500,000
contribution by The SCOOTER Store founder Douglas
Trent Harrison, who also agreed to forego dividends
from his shares in the company for the next year in
exchange for a release of his personal liability.
John Cornyn - bringing you Texas justice the cahooting
July 7 - Okay,
so I've been out and about with my camera again and am
delighted to bring you more photographic evidence that I
live in the best danged place on earth.
I dunno know about your town, but in my town, Jesus
If you're driving down Highway 90A in my town, you see
this sign ---
Apparently, Jesus is coming. But not before
he sells you a car.
Take a look at the back of that same sign --
Phew! I am certainly relieved that Jesus has
Here's the deal - finance your car instead of paying
cash for it because if Jesus comes before the next note
is due, you're not out the full payment price.
Smart thinkin', huh?
In case you were wondering, the "L J" in L J Used Cars
stands for Lord Jesus. I know because I asked.
And what will you be driving when Jesus comes? I
certainly hope it's a car from Lord Jesus Used Cars
because you wanna be on the Lord's good side.
Well , now I understand all those signs
that say “Jesus Saves!”
apparently sells and provides financing too.
You’d have to wonder what the Prince of
Peace would think about this unauthorized
I bet you can get some sweet deals there the
day before the Rapture. I'd go for a
convertible so you can wave to all those
Republicans in the handbaskets.
ago "Bubba" and I were trying to sink
some T-posts in the lot next door to
Jesus' car lot for some campaign signs.
The owner came out and ran us off,
saying that he was buying that land.
Good thing, too. Just underneath the
surface of that soil was solid iron,
swear to Buddha.
A friend who lives up
by Tomball used to say "If there's a
fish on the sign, something smells bad
out in back."
P.S. No, I don't know why I say up
by Tomball, I know that all of Texas is
down thataway from here but I still
think of Dallas as being "up". My
friend Tad who grew up in Chicago
claimed there were only 4 places in the
state of Illinois -- Chicago, Downstate,
Up by Wisconsin, and Out by the airport.
July 5 - Our
buddy, Fran, sent
this amazing video on President Bush touring America
to see the damage caused by his administration.
You will hoot.
GOP strategist Karl
Rove and former Democratic vice presidential
candidate John Edwards will debate the issues of the
presidential campaign Sept. 26 as part of the
university’s Distinguished Speakers Series, The
Buffalo News has learned.
As surrogates for the
parties’ standard bearers, the two also could square
off more than once at other locations around the
My bet is that before the first commercial, Ole Karl
will be limping.
What intellectually impaired Republican strategist came
up with the idea to let Bush's Brain on stage in
September to remind everyone of the mess Bush
Republicans have made?
Okay, mark your calendar because I'm telling you right
now that I'll be having a party that night and you'll be
invited! You bring the cheese dip, okay?
July 4 - My
friend Granny Geek
is a Jedi master of bringing her home base to you
through photography around her neighborhood.
I decided to try my hand at it ---
First of all, you'd think with a name like that, they'd
have been a little more successful.
Second of all, if they were so prophetic, you'd think
they would have seen this coming ---
I fear you may be making unwarranted
assumptions. It's not clear, at least
to me, that they were unsuccessful. It
depends on how much money they squirreled
away before giving up the ghost. While
there are honest people who start churches,
and have them fail, there are also those who
had no intention of having their church do
anything involving Christianity, and only
went into it for the money. I haven't
followed the money here, so I'm not prepared
to judge the success of this venture.
Is there a method to winning a political argument
online? S.L., South Bend
You always You never
You should You must You shouldn't You mustn't. Why
can't you Why don’t you Why aren't you Why didn’t
you How could you? You suck You blow You lie You
have no idea. You ignoramus You jerk You partisan
hack. You're lying You're cheating You're distorting
You're asking for it. You're out of your mind You’re
out of your league You’re out of your tree You're
out of your gourd. You’re off your rocker You're off
your meds You're off the reservation. You're wrong
You're stupid You're ignorant ---
July 3 -
Oh Holy Mother of Jiggle, this is going to drive
DeLux Brand Christian Commissioner Andy Meyers and the
Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club
stark raving wacko.
An unforeseen and
surprising beneficiary of the Economic Stimulus
Plan, a plan that
George Bush contends will "boost our economy
and encourage job creation," has surfaced this week.
An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult
Internet Market Research Company), has
discovered that many websites focused on adult or
erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales
in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in
millions of Americans' mailboxes across the country.
According to Kirk
Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, "Many
of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth
in membership rates since mid-May when the checks
were first sent out, and typically the summer is a
slow period for this market."
Hey Andy, now see what Republican economic policy has
done? Yeah, I see you
trying to stimulate your economy, you nasty little boy.
Just a small
point. I though Andy Myers and the
Belles of Heaven were already stark
raving wacko. Are there degrees of
raving wacko-ness that I’m not aware
groups around the country are angry with Republicans
who did not support Medicare legislation, and are
gearing up to go after them this election cycle.
“Outrage” is the
word used by physician groups in summing up how they
feel about Republican senators who voted last week
against the bill.
AMA President Nancy
Nielsen used that word after the vote, as did the
Texas Medical Association’s PAC in a statement about
withdrawing its support of Cornyn.
Big Bad John
is keeping Grandma away from her doctor while Tex steals
her money (see below). Republicanism at its best.
July 3 - Ya
know, I love watching Republicans steal from
Republicans, but there's gotta be a real special in hell
for this guy.
The College Republican National Committee has raised
$6.3 million this year through an aggressive and
misleading fund-raising campaign that collected
money from senior citizens who thought they were
giving to the election efforts of President Bush and
other top Republicans.
Many of the top donors were in their 80s and 90s.
The donors wrote checks — sometimes hundreds and, in
at least one case, totaling more than $100,000 — to
groups with official sounding-names such as
"Republican Headquarters 2004," "Republican
Elections Committee" and the "National Republican
But all of those groups, according to the small
print on the letters, were simply projects of the
College Republicans, who collected all of the
And little of the money went to election efforts.
And the head of this little scam that took money from
old people? Oh Lord, wouldn't you know it - he
calls himself "Tex." Rule of Life, Honey: never
eat at a place called "Mama's" and never do business
with a guy named "Tex."
Click right here to read all about Robert "Tex"
Austin, Texas, before joining BMW Direct, Robert -
better known to us as "Tex", served as the
Grassroots Coordinator for the College Republican
And Grandma ain't eating tonight because chubby little
Republican Robert "Tex" Moss done stole her money.
I hope Grandma chases him down and whacks him upside the
head with her walker.
And it seems that BMW might have talked puppets into
running for offices they couldn't win and then using
those races to enrich themselves.
It's some dirty stuff.
"By his own
admission, (Schneider) said he would not have
believed the border's rural nature unless he had
seen firsthand," said U.S. Sen. Jon Tester, D-Mont.,
who accompanied Schneider on the tour. "Because of
our rural nature, we have challenges at this border
that are different than anywhere else."
Heckuva job, Schneidy!
Uh, Dude, I kinda figured that northern Montana was
rather "rural" because, dammit, I went to fifth grade!
Besides, the Texas border with Mexico ain't exactly a
Oh please, we have to elect someone smart this time.
It's 7 years after 9/11 and these guys are just now
figuring out that our northern border might be leaking?
That's scares the poot outta me.
I saw this I come to the conclusion
that you and your cohorts must be the
only sane ones left!
recently passed law requires that
Texas computer-repair technicians
have a private-investigator license.
order to obtain said license,
technicians must receive a criminal
justice degree or participate in a
three-year apprenticeship. Those
shops that refuse to participate
will be forced to shut down.
Violators of the new law can be hit
with a $4,000 dollar fine and up to
a year in jail, penalties that apply
to customers who seek out their
July 1 -
Well, see, I thought I was going to have mess of fun
this election season with GOP Congresscritter Wannabe
I figured that pointing out that he has the same
campaign manager, staff, fundraiser person, and party
planner as Tom DeLay would be a blast from the past for
me. I was going to play, "Lookie, Tom DeLay, Jr.
is running for Congress!"
And then there's that whole Village People thing.
You can't help but have fun with Captain Love Boat.
And then - rats! - Pete Olson went and ruined it all. Just totally ruined it. He's not going to be Tom DeLay, Jr.
He's going to be George Bush and Dick Cheney II. No, seriously.
Check this out ---
President Bush is
coming to River Oaks in 17 days to help raise money
for congressional candidate Pete Olson and the Texas
GOP's statewide campaign.
As you can see from
your very own copy of the invitation, the private fund-raising
reception is slated for the new, 12,600-square-foot
Houston home of Dan and Kim Tutcher. Dan Tutcher was
top exec at Enbridge Energy Partners, which moves
natural gas and other fuels around the continent
through its pipelines. This year he was a big
financial supporter of former Sen. Fred Thompson's
short-lived presidential campaign.
I live in the only damn place on God's green earth where
George Bush, Dick Cheney, and energy moguls are
considered helpful to a political campaign. Oh
Lord, this is sad. I deserve to live in a classier
joint. I do.
If it’s any consolation, Susan,
you’re living in this hellhole with
a lotta likeminded folks. My Dear
Hubby and I were cussin’ and
discussin’ the status quo the other
night, and he asked if I thought it
was possible the Republicans would
cause a terrorist attack to occur in
the not-so-distant future so that
McCain would win in November. I
replied that I thought they were
certainly capable of it, and where
did he think we could move if that
happened? Because Susan, it’s been
hard enough living here for the past
8 years. But if McSame just takes
over where the Bush Baby left off,
it will be Hell
Dear Hubby advised that unless he
could find a job elsewhere (and
that’s not likely), we’d be staying
put. So if said terrorist attack
happens, and Johnny-Come-Lately
becomes our Less-Than-Venerated
Leader because of it, I’ll buy you a
beer on a regular basis just so I
can have SOMEONE with whom to drown
Thanks for the traffic tip. I'll put it
on my calendar to avoid Kirby Dr. on
that day. It seems like I'm always
getting stuck in the middle of some R.O.
fundraiser along there.
pressure from the authorities, UBS is considering
whether to divulge the names of up to 20,000 of its
well-heeled American clients, according to people
close to the inquiry, a step that would have once
been unthinkable to Swiss bankers, whose traditions
of secrecy date to the Middle Ages.
Federal investigators believe some of the clients
may have used offshore accounts at UBS to hide as
much as $20bn in assets from the Internal Revenue
Service (IRS). Doing so may have enabled these
people to dodge at least $300m in federal taxes on
income from those assets, according to a government
official connected with the investigation.
And what would all this tax evading have to do with
IRS is trying to serve a summons on Swiss bank UBS
AG seeking information on U.S. taxpayers who may
have used the bank to gin up records to avoid
billions in taxes on offshore investments.
Top McCain economic
advisor Phil Gramm is vice chairman of UBS' U.S.
division which already has drawn unflattering
scrutiny for writing off big losses in subprime
Gramm, the former
Texas senator and presidential candidate, was
registered to lobby Congress last year on mortgage
securities issues on behalf of UBS.
Look, a small word of advice to people out there:
Avoid Texas Republicans. They are a flesh eating
virus, and they will steal the gold out of your
Grandmother's teeth. While she's chewing.
And talk about it at the country club. Haven't you
people learned anything from Bush?
- So it just gets funner and funner with David
Beckwith. Our buddy Don A. is playing it for all
it's worth ----
I was so impressed by Buck Smith, that I just HAD
to see what he wrote in the counter-insurgency blog.
"Come to find out" (as they say here in Pennsyltucky)
it had a link to his own blog.
July 1 -
Sometimes along comes a story that's so heartwarming, so
wonderful, and so charming that you just have to share
it with your friends.
This is such a story.
Republicans are now stealing from Republicans.
Yes, it's true. They've stolen all they can from
the rest of us with their higher taxes, a failing
infrastructure, corporate meltdowns, golden parachutes,
and God only knows how much Halliburton has ripped us
off, so now they have to turn to a fresh source of money
supply - each other.
It's charming and delightful cannibalism.
This three page story is worth the read in shear
giggle-factor alone. It tells the tale of a GOPper
who ran against Barney Frank as a write-in ---
Yet the political
fund-raising firm that ran Morse's campaign finances
reported that it raised more than $700,000 for his
race, much of it from GOP contributors across the
country eager to help defeat a Massachusetts liberal
- and some of it donated well after Morse abandoned
A review of campaign
reports shows that, rather than spending that money
in the Fourth Congressional District, 96 percent of
the funds raised in Morse's name were used to pay a
politically connected direct-mail firm in
Washington, BMW Direct Inc., and a coterie of BMW
Direct's affiliates and contractors. The firms
specialize in national fund-raising appeals on
behalf of conservative Republican candidates and
I'm going to go read it again. I like this part ---
is not the only direct-mail firm raising money for
little-known Massachusetts Republicans. This year,
Jeff Beatty, the Republican running against Kerry,
has boasted that he raised $976,000 in a nationwide
mail campaign in a few short months late last year
and earlier this year. But again, 90 percent of his
funds were eaten by the fund-raising expenses. That
fund-raising effort was run by another Washington
direct-mail firm, Response America. Beatty's aides
said he expects the mailing operation will allow him
to create a donor base that he can use as the race
the Republican gubernatorial candidates are
appealing to Republican voters by implying that
Republican officeholders have done a poor job of
instilling ethics in government.
In the understatement of the year, a political science
professor in Missouri says ---
tough times, I think, for Republicans, and they've
got and try to differentiate themselves from the
Republican brand and from the governor," Kimball
said. "And ethics is one of the easier issues where
they can do that while still being conservative."
It appears to be contagious. A website calling
itself Texas News Post interviews
Republican Congressman Mike Conaway. Conaway
admits that Republicans have a problem: "What we said
didn't match up with what we did." Ya think?
But, Conaway thinks that Republicans "have a shot" at
winning back the House. Yeah, but only if that
shot comes from Dick Cheney's hunting rifle.
I don't think Conaway would be willing to put money on
By the way, Conaway is ---
friend and business partner of George W. Bush, Mike
Conaway was CFO of the Midland, Texas bank which
lent Bush $500,000 so he could participate in an
extremely lucrative deal to purchase the Texas
- Oh, this story ain't going away. No, sireee.
This story doesn't have legs, it has wheels.
You recall the
silly Senator John Cornyn video that everybody in
the nation - including the Today show - has had fun
Well, instead of getting his client off the news with
this silliness, Cornyn's Campaign Manager, David
Beckwith, has put his own ego - and bigger than Big Bend
National Park it is! - ahead of his boss.
When people speculated that Beckwith would be fired for
the silly ad, one courageous guy came to Beckwith's
defense - Beckwith.
Beckwith went on a very popular blog,
Burnt Orange Report, and named himself Buck Smith.
sock puppeting isn't all that uncommon. It's a
ruined many a good
What is uncommon, though, is that
Beckwith suggests that Beckwith should get a raise
for the brilliant Cornyn ad.
Smith" wrote, "I personally believe Beckwith
deserves a raise and/or a promotion for whatever
role he had in that video ..."
Beckwith has managed a seemingly impossible feat - he
now looks goofier than Cornyn.
Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most
Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is
Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom
DeLay's old district. It's crazy here.
No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.
I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when
I got to know a few local Republicans. They are meaner
than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a
decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.
A lot of
what I post here has to do with local politics, but you
probably have the same folks in your local government.
a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. I've
been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you
and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.